The Language of Masoch

by QUICKM33MZ2005

The Hedgehog's Dilemma dictates that despite the intention of a reciprocal relationship, it may not occur for reasons that two individuals cannot avoid. Despite good will, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. (Warning: VERY slow fic. Also serious adult themes and lemons. Bondage not in story.)

56. Are There Struggles Beneath Us?

Chapter 56: Are There Struggles Beneath Us?

Within the depths of the Eva cages there ignited an exchange of gunfire between the two factions within NERV. The tensions that had long since built were finally being unleashed and only continued to grow in the higher levels. Hajime knew this day was about to come again and he remained firm against everyone he used to work alongside.

He saw one of Takeshi's men by the name of Ueda make his way up to him asking, "Have you been able to find out which ones are on the offensive?"

Hajime made his way to a nearby corner answering, "Unfortunately we haven't been able to keep track. Everyone under my division is being pinned down right now."

One of the technicians, Hitomi, made her way to them announcing, "We have many of our own held back right now. They're doing their best to make sure SEELE doesn't get any assistance from down here."

Ueda remembered a key part of the plan while bullets continued to fire in the background, "We can't cut them off until Koji gets back."

Hajime prepared his pistol adding, "That's provided we can still use Unit-04. Unfortunately it's too late to start doubting Hitomi's suggestion."

Right in cue, Hajime heard his transceiver announce, "Suruga! I have them!"

Hajime recognized Koji's voice asking, "We can't afford this to be a false lead. Are you sure the codes will activate the dummy plug system?"

"It was a tight timeframe, but I made it through. All we can do now is test to see if they will."

Accepting the best chance he had to assist the Eva units in their fight against the Angels made Hajime order, "Remain where you are. We'll be there shortly." Turning to the others, he told them, "We have to get to his position. He should be at the main elevator."

Ueda accepted this and announced, "I'll take point. Just keep me warned."

The three ran from the exchange of gunfire next to them to the main elevator. They could not find themselves in a quieter area but were able to avoid being hit by wayward shots. As soon as they found the hall they were looking for, they found the cause of the gunfire that was rocking them on edge.

A gathering of NERV technicians made their way towards them with a familiar telltale sign they were not there to support Hajime and the others. Their eyes all having changed red but still observant and prepared to find their next target. Ueda recognized he would have to use his rifle but kept Hajime and Hitomi behind him as he prepared for what they knew would test their ability to survive.

It was as soon as the doors to the elevator opened that the observing technicians turned their attention away from the area Hajime and the others were hiding in. He knew this was the best opportunity they had for a surprise attack but realized how close they were to the plan being jeopardized. There was no need for both him and Ueda to prepare their respective weapons and turn the corner to come to Koji's assistance.

Koji saw the technicians who were there to greet him and fell to the ground to avoid the gunfire. His struggle was not as hard as he thought it would be as he heard an assault rifle shooting his enemies down. One remained that tried to find cover but Koji used his own gun to shoot him and send him falling to the ground.

Picking himself up he heard Hajime ask, "Are you there Koji?"

Koji let out a sigh of relief before picking himself up and exiting the elevator while answering, "I have the codes. They'll only work if Hitomi is still with us."

Ueda and Hitomi made their way to his position before Hitomi asked, "You're sure you managed to get as many of them down here as possible?"

Koji recognized the importance of such a task, answering, "I did. At least the ones I recognized."

Ueda looked around asking, "Now we just need to make sure as few of them as possible can find their way back up. You're prepared for this?"

Koji took out a remote from his breast pocket before rushing out of the elevator signaling for the two to distance themselves from the area. It took one button press before a bomb exploded and sent the elevator chamber falling to the depths below. The shaft was still visible but now more difficult for anyone to make their ascent to the higher levels of NERV.

Recognizing another key part of the plan was accomplished, Hajime swung his hand ordering, "Let's hurry to Unit-04!"

The four made their way down the halls they came before finding a gathering of technicians who were making their way towards them and made a sharp turn away from their advance. Ueda held off the advance, firing upon them while making sure Hajime and the others made their escape. The moment he saw them make a turn for the nearest corner was the moment he ran for cover to make sure the others were still secure.

Technicians under the control of SEELE were still making their way towards them but Koji took out a sheet of paper and handed it to Hitomi while telling her, "Don't lose this. Everything is dependent on you surviving."

Hitomi recognized she did not have the time to debate this plan before accepting, "We're too close to let this mean nothing."

Ueda ran alongside Hajime announcing, "We're clear to advance from here! Just mov-"

Before Ueda could say anything else he felt a bullet penetrate his neck and send him falling to the ground. Hajime backed away as he saw his best protection killed by someone he did not see. All he knew he could do at the moment was stay back and find a way to defend himself.

Koji saw what caught Hajime in his tracks and prepared his gun before looking to both sides before determining, "It has to be from the left. Take Hitomi, I'll cover you."

Realizing the futility of arguing against the idea, Hajime gestured for Hitomi to follow him before using Koji's cover to defend themselves. Their anticipation was rewarded with no shots coming their way, but they did not press their luck as they pressed ahead. The only path they had left was to rush ahead on a bridge to the Eva units where Unit-04 was waiting.

Their advance was interrupted by a sudden explosion that threw Hajime and Hitomi forward. Hajime turned over on his back to see what happened but noticed a portion of the bridge was collapsing. More alarming to him was noticing where Koji was.

Hajime stood up and saw Koji struggling to pull himself up but found his effort in vain as another portion of the bridge crumbled. The sight of the destruction made Hajime realize his attempt to save Koji would amount to nothing as the part of the bridge he held on to collapsed. Destruction was all around Hajime in that instant, but the sound of Koji's scream commanded his attention along with any remaining hope he and of escape.

He turned to see Hitomi standing next to him with the same look of despair. Even in the center of the conflict at hand, Hajime wanted nothing more than to find a place to defend himself. This fear made him remember that everything he and Koji wanted to achieve was on the line and he would have to make sure Hitomi would not be the next to fall victim.

Hajime took hold of Hitomi's wrist and told her, "We have to keep moving!"

Hitomi felt herself dragged before regaining her attention and ran alongside Hajime. The activation codes he did everything to acquire were still in her hands and now reliant on her making it to Unit-04. Even after so many deaths she had too much relying on her cooperation to fail now.

It was not long before both Hajime and Hitomi found themselves being tested with a key part of the conflict they now endured. Across from them, Mitsuru stood with a remote in one hand and a pistol in the other. After trying so much to come to terms with his new place in NERV, he found himself prepared to deliver on his new commitments.

Mitsuru made this apparent by observing, "Seems my timing was still off."

Hajime raised his gun before firing but saw Mitsuru fall to the ground without an injury in sight. Seeing him in the ground was Hajime's best initial hope but found himself caught off guard as Mitsuru took aim towards him. The shot grazed over Hajime's shoulder in his dash towards Mitsuru to get a better aim but found himself in danger again as a bullet hit the right side of his chest.

The pain of the shot made Hajime fall to the ground but threw himself on top of Mitsuru in desperation to keep him from moving. He tried to bring his gun to Mitsuru's head but met resistance as he leapt up and took hold of his wrists. This attack made Hajime throw his weight to the side and to his fortune saw Mitsuru take a blow to the head from the nearby railing.

The brief interruption between the two made Hajime shout to Hitomi, "Move now!"

Neither could see what she did in response, but Hajime had the opportunity he needed to keep Mitsuru from interfering again. He forced Mitsuru against one of the bars as he saw him bleeding but attempting to keep his attention on his attacker. Taking advantage of the injury he dealt Hajime, Mitsuru dug one of his fingers into the bullet hole. This did little to force Hajime off of him however as he groaned through the pain and kept Mitsuru pinned down.

The attempt to push him off made Hajime ask, "Is that really all it took Mitsuru?"

There did not need to be an exchange of reminders of what brought both men to this point. He forced himself to remember that the situation developing meant there was a root cause he never saw before. It did not push himself to prepare for an unfortunate final exchange they would have.

Mitsuru already acknowledged this by looking up and answering, "I'm sick... that it wasn't enough."

Mustering every ounce of strength he could summon, Mitsuru forced Hajime off of him and scrambled for his gun. His sight finally realigned but he found his senses returning just in time to see a grenade roll his way. He prioritized his survival alongside Hajime as the two leapt away from the grenade before the explosion ignited.

Hajime slid against the wall hoping to make his escape relying on a lack of response from Mitsuru as his best indication he was safe for now. He found himself even more hopeful as soon as he realized Hitomi was nowhere to be seen. The only way he could be sure she was successful was if he made his way to Unit-04 and saw it launching to the surface.

It was a difficult walk to the cage containing Unit-04 but he saw the accumulated effort that he and everyone else was working towards. The newly created version of Unit-04 built for combat waited in the cage alongside the new weapons designed for it. It needed to be sent into battle and needed as little interference as possible.

He looked over to the control panel to see Hitomi at work congratulating her, "We made it after all. We should be coming out in the end."

The reveal of his presence made Hitomi turn around telling him, "The codes have been entered. Now we just need to make sure this fulfills our mission, we lost too many people already."

Just as soon as she gave her report she saw someone limping his way towards Hajime. Mitsuru was struggling to keep himself moving and his glasses had been shattered but he continued to give his determination to finish his mission was not impaired. Hitomi did not need to remind herself what target he had in mind to fulfill after all his choices led up to now.

She did not allow Hajime to interrupt her as she rushed over to him warning, "Down!"

Hajime fell on his right knee just as soon as the shot was fired. Mitsuru could not see any injuries but the sight of him falling to the ground motionless was all he could ask for. Recognizing Hitomi was frozen in place from the recent attack made him determine he was only one obstacle away from fulfilling his ambition. The sound of an Eva unit making its launch with what little power remained in NERV however dispelled what he was hoping to achieve.

Watching the Unit make its way to the surface, Mitsuru asked, "So that's all you hoped to achieve here? Just to launch our last unit at the last necessary moment?"

Hitomi stepped away, answering, "We were doing everything to make sure the Angels do not win. I can't believe someone like you would want to interfere with that."

Mitsuru held his side but kept a gun in his other hand as he made his advance countering, "You're the one who wants to stop what the human race is on the precipice of achieving. I thought... We were all in agreement over what constituted human decency."

The sight of him progressing forward despite his injuries left Hitomi intimidated by the sight as she protested, "I don't understand where this is all coming from. Nothing could have made you see SEELE's vision before."

Mitsuru kept himself pressed against the wall as he moved past Hajime's body accepting, "Well... It's too late to change anyone's mind now. I made my choice and now I will accept it."

Hitomi continued to step away at the sight of him before she asked, "And you want this for the entire human race?"

This question made Mitsuru lower his gun as he looked at Hitomi. He felt a burst of confidence that his assignment from SEELE was complete with having made sure so many he once considered to be his friends were dead. Any sense of accomplishment he might have gained from killing Hitomi became less of a compelling idea as he determined this was his moment to gloat over his own victory.

He dropped his gun to the floor as he held on to his sides claiming, "It will all be understood... Once it's over it will all be understood..."

A resounding gunshot signaled Mitsuru's great mistake as he felt his left ankle take a shot. He was forced to the ground sustaining his injury and spun his head from one side to the other trying to find who shot him. It was too late for him to determine how Hitomi shot him as he felt a weight fall on his back and pin him to the ground. The softness was the only indication he needed to realize he did not finish Hajime as he thought he did.

Mitsuru struggled against the grip Hajime had in him while hearing him curse, "Perhaps... I just have to... deny you that paradise..."

Mitsuru struggled against his head being pressed to the ground but unable to make himself answer Hajime in response. He wanted nothing more than to make sense of what Hajime had done to make this plan feasible after being cut out of his circle for so long. Every action he made seemed to be one of desperation rather than being thought out. The opportunity he had was now out of his reach as his throat was trapped in the grasp of the one individual he believed he could trust.

His betrayal was now culminating in the consequences he faced. He knew this was his punishment, but he could not bring himself to regret what he was facing. Not even if Unit-04 could somehow change the fate of the world and where it was headed.

None of the occupants in the Eva cages would be able to witness what was occurring with Unit-01's struggle against the last Angels. Only the hope that it would be able to hold on to its survival long enough gave anyone the idea it would be ready for Unit-04's ascent. Shinji did not even have a chance to recognize the arrival of the unit as he kept his attention on the Angels attacking him.

He managed to force his sonic glaive through the head of one Angel causing it to writhe and struggle to keep hold of Unit-02. His hopes of freeing Asuka continued to be denied even as his glaive twisted and dug further into the target Angel. He was reminded how futile this struggle would continue to be as he saw another two Angels slither to his sides and prepare their cannons.

Unit-01 recognized this danger and leapt back while the two Angels allowed their shots to deviate from their target. The intimidation achieved what they were hoping for as they saw Unit-01 was now defenseless. Another pair of Angels made their way behind it and prepared to deliver their killing shots.

Seeing the attack made Unit-01 dash forward before rolling under the shots before making a leap between the two Angels. Despite the danger at hand, it needed to free Unit-02 if it was going to have a chance at winning. The Angel keeping its hold of Unit-02 realized this a while ago but found it would not be able to keep its captive held for much longer.

Within its jaws, the Angel felt Unit-02 give the first sign of a struggle it had ever since it was grasped. While stuck to the ground, it was determined to make sure it and the others would not have to handle its potential rage. It closed both of its pincers across its mouth with what life remained in its being before Unit-02 was fully wrapped in the vice of the Angel.

The struggle was a sight that Shinji realized he would not have the opportunity to change with the current struggle he faced. The fear he was alone and would not be able to defeat the Angels before everyone he cared about died was more real to him than he imagined. How his choice of this reality would be the worst mistake he could have made.

"You still holding out Shinji?"

The question caught Shinji off guard. He did not think he would be hearing from anyone else without contacting NERV but realized who he was talking to as Unit-01 turned around. Unit-04 was once again on the field alongside him despite the minor changes done to it and with a familiar voice that accompanied it.

In what little of a timeframe he had, Shinji asked "Kensuke?"

Receiving this question in response made Kensuke take hold of his grips, answering, "It had to happen sometime."

An Angel thrust to Unit-01's side before it leapt out of the way and Shinji asked, "Where were you? How did this happen?"

Kensuke focused his attention on the Angels on both of Unit-01's sides answering, "I wasn't the most important after all, but I can still pull some weight."

Unit-04 raised both of its arms before Shinji realized what Kensuke was preparing for. The weapon it was armed with activated the generators on its hands before the base of the protrusions began to spin. Both this activation and the unit making its dash forward commanded the attention of one of the Angels as they found their new target.

An Angel opened its jaws before lunging forward only to be met with an uppercut from Unit-04. It activated its A.T. Field as soon as it came within distance only to be met with increased pressure on the part of its attacker. The Angel prepared its cannons, but Unit-04 hit the A.T. Field with its other hand to knock it and its aim to the sky above. Another pair of beams fired high over the head of Unit-04 as it was forced back but attempted to keep itself in place to reignite an attack. This became the most fatal mistake against its opponent.

Unit-01 charged behind the Angel and collided with an A.T. Field but with both hands tore a hole through it and leapt through. It reached for the progressive knife from its shoulder before leaping onto the back of the Angel and thrusting its knife into the core. Unable to maintain its defense, the Angel released a volley of shots from its cannons but was unable to keep itself targeted on any other targets.

Unit-04 used this distraction the Angel was bearing with as it saw Unit-01 leap off the back and leave it open for an attack. The Angel had its head lowered enough that Unit-04 was able to keep one of its arms focused on the core and gave a mighty strike with its drill weapon. There was no slow death for the Angel this time as its head was split open and dropped to the ground without any sign of struggle.

Shinji found himself filled with a sense of hope that one Angel had met its fate but was still taken aback by how it could have happened. Even in his most dire hour he found himself wondering how Kensuke could have finally mustered the will for what was supposed to be a final battle. He could not even tell if he was feeling the first sense of confusion or joy in such an appearance.

He managed to voice his conflicted feelings by asking, "How are you even here?"

Removing Unit-04's arm from the remains of the Angel, Kensuke answered, "A lot happened Shinji. I'm not sure I even get it myself." His desire to answer everything further was denied as he turned around to see the other Angel's making their way towards him and reminded, "Why don't we talk about it after we kill these guys?"

Unit-01 turned to see the Angels advancing before both it and Unit-04 made their dash towards their pair of respective targets. Being thrust into the danger he was facing made Shinji pant from the anticipation as he prepared himself to fight in a way he seldom had before. He had the motivation he believed he lost but was still faced with odds he did not imagine before. Remembering another individual that still needed him only added to the desperation on his mind in a battle that still felt one-sided against him.

Unit-01 wove around a pair of energy shots before Shinji told Kensuke, "We have to help Asuka! She's still out there!"

Unit-04 punched upon the field of a nearby Angel in rapid succession before Kensuke heard Shinji's plea and answered, "I think I see her! Let's get to her quick!"

The plan made Kensuke break away from the Angel as it thrust itself forward only to miss the chance to devour Unit-04. Adjusting for this change made the Angel take aim at the two Eva units while the others surrounding them prepared their energy beams and fired to form a mighty blinding light in the center. Both Unit-01 and Unit-04 rolled forward before continuing their advance to the one Angel that kept Unit-02 in its jaws.

The two Eva units found themselves faced with another one of the Angels as it stood in front of their target but waited for them to come to it. Unit-04 collided with the A.T. Field with both drills while Unit-01 used this opportunity to slice through its continued weakened state. Just like the time before, Unit-01 leapt forward with its knife in hand and thrust into the core.

Being stabbed by the knife made the Angel throw itself to the ground while firing its beams. The attack made Unit-04 leap backwards while keeping itself firmly between the two shots as a barrier from the other Angel attacks. It proved to only be a temporary defense however as the beams subsided and allowed the two Angels to attack it from both sides.

Stretching its hands to both sides, Unit-04 hit the two Angels in their respective A.T. Fields to prevent them from attacking. Kensuke saw the danger he was in as he forced Unit-04 backwards and ducked underneath another pair of beam shots that fired his way. He looked up and saw the Angel Unit-01 was still attacking at its mercy before pulling it up and exposing its belly to one of the beams. Upon contact, Unit-01 rolled away and saw the remains of the Angel fall to the ground from the attack.

Before Kensuke could make another step, he found himself caught by a presence he failed to notice on the ground beneath. The upper half of the Angel Unit-01 cut down opened its mouth to take Unit-04 in its jaws. With his synch ratio registering the pain that rang through his body, Kensuke mustered every ounce of strength he had into forcing the Angel off of him. Unit-04 pummeled the head of the Angel multiple times with its drills before reducing the upper half of its head to a pulp.

Shinji saw the unit behind him struggle to keep itself steady while proclaiming, "Kensuke!"

He could understand Shinji's concern, but Kensuke kept himself prepared for more Angels coming his way while reminding, "You still need to help Asuka out of there! Don't let her wait any longer!"

Shinji found himself captured in a dilemma he was already desperately brainstorming to find a solution for. The whole of the human race was hanging in the balance and he still did not have a say in the matter about what he could do. Only Kensuke still had the will necessary to defend himself against the Angels and he was making sure it would be enough to give Shinji the opening he needed to save Asuka. Without another obstacle to impede its progress, Unit-01 continued its dash through the destruction the Angels brought from their energy beams to the one on the ground still impaled.

Unable to see how Unit-04 was able to defend itself or even how close everything was to the headquarters of NERV, Shinji forced himself to look forward in preparation for what he set out to accomplish. The Angel in front of him also realized this as it prepared its energy beams to fire upon Unit-01 out of desperation. Unit-01 saw this danger coming as it leapt from the ground and over the beams before setting its sights upon the Angel below.

Being forced through such a rush made Shinji scream at the intensity but allowed him to remain focused on the target Unit-01 was rushing towards. Much to his amazement he looked down and saw his unit aiming to land feet first upon the back of the Angel before making a sharp turn. The feeling of such a mighty rush came crashing down upon Shinji as soon as his unit landed but found he would not be given a moment to rest. Unit-01 took hold of the glaive with both hands and made a mighty jerk to free the weapon from where it was held.

Shinji afforded himself a few breaths before giving what strength he had into assisting Unit-01 with its pull. The glaive was lodged in but required more force than it took to plunge it in. Unit-01 realized the situation was this important as it howled at forcing everything it had to free its fellow unit. It needed to see Unit-02 finally free itself if it was going to have a chance at survival.

The necessity of such stakes made Shinji plead, "Asuka! Please come back to us! Don't turn your back on us now!"

The sight of Unit-01 continuing its pull of the glaive was a sight that Kensuke was pleased to see achieved. More than anything he wanted to make his presence on the field mean something. So far two Angels had been defeated at his hands but his systems were warning him about what could happen to his unit soon.

He looked at the screens on his right side before seeing how demanding the assault on the Angels were. Both of his drills had been reduced to only 33% power after his appearance on the field. While he achieved what he was hoping to pull off, he found himself questioning if he would even survive to see the results of his effort.

Looking around to see the other Angels gathering around him, Kensuke let out a breath observing, "I think I see what you were worried about Shinji. I probably should have been too."

Unit-04 wove around another pair of energy beams that came its way while Kensuke reflected, "I have no idea how far you would have gotten if I wasn't here... What matters is you're here now."

Weaving around the chomp of another Angel and rushing towards his next target, Kensuke forced Unit-04 through the tangle of Angels adding, "And I have to make up... for everything!"

The Angel that was taking aim at Unit-01 in the distance was the target for Unit-04. The drills made contact with the Angel's A.T. Field but the force of the attack was so great it forced the Angel to the ground where it fired its energy beams into the earth beneath. He knew he had to prepare to make another final blow to an Angel at some point, but it had to be the final choice on his part. The decision seemed to come even sooner than he anticipated it would come.

Another one of the Angels took aim at Unit-01 even with the fate of its fellow fighter in danger. Although Unit-01 was capable of avoiding the shot, the life of Unit-02 was now in danger from the building attack. Unit-01 removed the glaive with a mighty pull that caused the blood of the Angel to spew out, but Shinji was still left in terror as he saw the shot begin to build across from him. Even if Unit-04 could make it towards his location in time, everything he fought for was still threatened to be undone and his life was now left completely in the hands of fate.

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A/N: That's another one down. Hopefully the action scenes here make up for all the navel gazing in the past number of chapters.

I know you might have been caught a bit off guard by the sudden insertion of Kensuke into this fight and truth be told, I didn't exactly plan on it happening either. It's a pretty similar case to Asuka really because I just felt like having his fate stay where it was just didn't give his participation in the story the meaningfulness it should have. On top of that, its also a pretty dramatic scene in a battle where Shinji is being threatened to be overpowered by virtually everything fighting him right now. If you're hoping for an explanation of how things got here, I actually will be depicting those events in the next chapter.

Anyway, the Unit-04 depicted in this chapter is the one equipped with the rapidborer drill weapons as seen in Evangelion The Real 4D 2.0. Odds are I probably depicted the attacks wrong but I couldn't find the footage of the ride on YouTube. It just seemed right to add at this point so Unit-04 could more readily take in these super powered Angels without totally being the biggest change in the battle.

The big change to the battle though is about to come pretty soon. Within the depths of NERV, within the minds of the pilots, and against the Angels themselves, this conclusion is well on its way to being fully realized. I hope to see you all for it.