Hey, everyone. Sorry for not uploading last week. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've decided that at least for now, just to stick with updating this story. There's two reasons for this. One, I think more people are reading this than "On My Dragon's Wings," and two, I can write up four chapters of this story in the time it takes me to finish one chapter of the other (the last one I wrote up took me about a month). Still, I don't want to abandon "OMDW" outright, especially because it's the "Year of the Dragon" and that's my only way of celebrating.
So, here's what I'm thinking: I'll update this story until I get to Chapter 18 and when that's done, I'll start writing more dragon stories. I still have two more completed chapters that have yet to be uploaded, but I'm waiting for someone to vote on the poll before I do so. (I'll keep it open until I reach Chapter 18 of this, just to give more people the chance to vote).
Why am I stopping at Chapter 18? Because the chapters after that are going to be the holiday/winter episodes, since I'm doing them in broadcast order and the way I see it, it's only appropriate for me to wait until December to get to those. So, assuming I can get chapters done in a week's time, that means I'll be updating this story until the beginning of July, at which point, I'll start updating "OMDW" again as well as write more chapters for that. For now though, we've got a little ways to go, so let's get started on Chapter 7!
BTW, I took a little advice from a reviewer, saying I should let Stinkie and Fatso go with Molly and Sharon while Stretch stays at home with Pete and Darryl...but I put my own little twist on it...wait and see... ;)
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: Muahahahahahaaaa!
Molly: Can't believe you're all mine
Fatso: Uh, what?
Molly: You and me for all time
Stretch: No way!
Molly: I'm never, ever, EVER gonna be alone again
Stinkie: This stinks!
Molly: It's just you three and me
Fatso: For all eternity?!
Molly: For all ETERNITY!
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: NOOOO!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: It's the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Fatso: We've been cursed!
Stinkie: It's the worst!
Molly: Now you're stuck with me
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're never gonna be apart
Stretch: Is there a way to hit 'restart'?
Molly: Nope!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Molly: That's me!
Stinkie: Well, that's she. Hee, hee, hee!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
Fatso: Oh yeah!
Chapter 7
Sharon the Workload
"Oh, it's the McGee's cleaning song!" Molly sang from the backseat of the car.
"Everybody sing along!" Darryl joined in with a mop bucket on his head.
"The house is really dirty," Pete began as Sharon backed him up. "So today we're intervening,"
"By cleaning!" all four finished.
"The baaaaseeeemeeeennt!" Fatso belted out from the trunk.
Annoyed, Stretch stuffed a sponge in the biggest ghost's mouth.
"Oh no! You skin sacks have already ruined the rest of our house with your disgustin' wholesomeness! No way are we lettin' ya do the same to our basement!"
"Yeah," Stinkie piped up. "It took ages of neglect to get it to that perfect level of revoltin' and we wanna keep it that way!"
Molly slipped on some rubber gloves. "If you guys loooove the basement so much, why don't you live down there?"
The Trio gasped.
"Are you nuts?" Stretch lectured. "That's way too risky!"
"Huh? Why?"
"Don't ya know anything? Everyone and their deceased grandma knows that the basement is the most dangerous place for a ghost to live!"
"Yeah," Stinkie continued. "Sure it's nice to visit once in a while, even just to get a whiff of the rottin' mold, but if a ghost ain't careful, he could get trapped in there if some careless fleshie shuts the door on 'im!"
"So? Can't you just go through the walls?" Molly pointed out.
"No! That's the scariest part!" Fatso shook Molly's shoulders. "Basements have some weird, magical effect on us supernaturals that stops us from phasin' through stuff! Once that door closes, we're boxed in until it opens again!"
"If it ever opens again…" Stretch added.
"Yeah, basements are practically prisons for us!" Stinkie mentioned. "Vacuum cleaners got nothin' on them!"
Sharon shrugged. "Aw, that's no big deal. We can just leave the door open if you three are so worried."
Stretch glared. "Oh sure, ya say you'll leave the door open, but then guess what? You forget! And by the time ya remember to open it, it'll be too late!"
"Uh…too late for what?" Darryl asked.
"We won't forget, Stretch." Pete reassured him.
"Oh, you will." Stretch grabbed him by the cheeks and stared into his eyes. "You livin' people always forget…"
Molly pulled Stretch to the back. "Even so, you'll be trapped in a dark, creepy, and smelly place for all eternity. For you guys, that's practically paradise."
Stretch smacked her hand away. "Ya just don't get it, do ya McGee? The longer a ghost stays in the basement, the more it'll attract-"
BANG!
All of a sudden, the McGee's van made an unusually loud sound and smoke began to emit from the engine. Then, the vehicle slowly came to a stop in the middle of the road. Pete tried to start it up again, but it was no use; their car wouldn't budge.
"Aw man!" Fatso snapped his fingers. "I hate conveniently-timed interruptions to exposition!"
With no other option, the McGees got out of the van and began to push it, hoping to bring it to a nearby mechanic. This unusual display attracted many on-looking pedestrians and angry-sounding car horns from behind them. All the while, the Ghostly Trio sat in the front seat, enjoying the free ride. Fatso even got behind the wheel and pretended to steer.
"I really hope we can afford these repairs." Sharon grunted. "Our finances are…ugh…tight…"
"Don't worry, Mom," Darryl spoke up. "I have a no-risk business investment. Full disclosure, it does require access to cryptocurrency, frequent travel to Sweden, and uh…a stomach for danger."
"I got the last one!" Fatso exclaimed, poking his head out of the car window.
Pete pushed Fatso back inside. "I'm not falling for that one…again."
"Well, since our whole family uses the van, we should all chip in." Molly suggested. "I will forgo my allowance…and so will Darryl."
"What?!" Darryl briefly stopped pushing the car to point at his sister. "You can't forgo for me!"
"No forgoing, kids!" Pete insisted. "Keep your allowances. It's probably just a small, teeny, tiny problem that won't cost much money to fix."
As soon as they made it to the mechanic, though, they were given a completely different opinion.
"It's a huge problem that's gonna cost a lot of money to fix." the mechanic informed them.
The Ghostly Trio, still in the car, and invisible to everyone except the McGees, watched the scene with delight.
"Well, who'd a guessed it?" Stretch asked.
"Who'd a known it?" Stinkie asked.
"Who'd a think-thank-thunk it?" Fatso asked.
"Clearly, not you." Stretch rolled up the window, nearly crushing his brother in the process.
Pete took out his wallet, which he was dismayed to learn was empty, except for a coupon for a sandwich shop.
"I don't suppose you'd take an old Sub Shack punch card? It comes with a free BLT!"
"…Nope." the mechanic refused.
Pete put the card back and turned to his family. When he wasn't looking, Fatso escaped, reached over, and swiped the coupon for himself.
"Spitballing here," Pete started. "Are we sure we even need a van? We can all just stay at home, going absolutely nowhere with our lives! Forever! Doesn't that sound fun, kids?" he grabbed Darryl by the shoulders, on the verge of tears. "Help…"
Worried, Molly and Darryl looked to their mom for reassurance. But she didn't have much to offer.
"With all the moving costs, utility bills, credit card debt, and on top of that, having three more mouths to feed, one of which leads to a bottomless pit…"
Fatso, having just returned with his free BLT, heard her.
"Hey, I'm a growin' ghoul!" he devoured the sub in one bite, slipped back into the car, and slowly rolled up the windows.
Shaking her head, Sharon went on. "It's been a tough year for the McGee savings account."
Pete hung his head. "May it rest in peace."
"Um…are we gonna be okay?" Molly wondered nervously.
"Don't worry," Sharon hugged both her kids. "McGees always make it work. And speaking of work, now that we're settled down in our forever home, it would make sense to have a second income."
Molly's eyes widened. "You mean…"
"That's right…" Sharon stood up in a determined manner. "Mama's gettin' a job!"
She imagined herself surrounded by several huge bags, each filled with endless stacks of cash. The fantasy was interrupted, however, by the family van collapsing, causing one of the doors to fall off and the hood to leak oil. Fatso pinched his lower belly.
"Huh…maybe I could stand to lose a few pounds. Or tons."
Stretch facepalmed at this.
With their car out of commission, the McGees had no choice but to walk the rest of the way home, while also carrying their cleaning supplies.
"Why do we live so faaaaarrr?" Fatso whined.
"Doesn't this stupid town have taxis or somethin'?" Stretch grumbled.
"If I weren't already dead and I had feet, they'd be killin' me!" Stinkie sulked.
Pete gave the three an annoyed look, for all of them were riding on top of his head and therefore, didn't have any right to complain.
Sharon noticed a parked car with a ticket in the window.
"Ooh, I should be a meter maid! Then I'd get paid to tell people they're bad parkers! You know I'd love that."
Molly nodded. "Yeah, I mean, personally, I see you as a brain surgeon. Although that's not really a 'starting today' thing…"
Darryl used a broom to push his supplies across the sidewalk.
"I'm telling you, Mom, reconsider nuisance lawsuits." on his phone, he showed Sharon a picture of a man with a goatee riding a tiger. "I know a lawyer named Ramón who is not encumbered with so-called 'ethics.'"
"Sounds like a real stand-up guy." Stinkie replied. "Ya know, apart from him bein' a lawyer and everything."
Stretch then spotted a "Help Wanted" sign in a diner window.
"No need to resort to the lowest common denominator! The answer's right in front of your fleshie faces! Once again, ghosts prove to be more observant than you corporeal folks. Go cook!"
As soon as he said this, Molly, Darryl, and Pete gave him looks of uneasiness. Then Sharon dropped her supplies and stormed over to the Trio. Her face was so filled with anger and bitterness, that it could easily rival the faces the Trio pulled to scare people.
"I worked in my parents' restaurant growing up…and that was enough kitchen work for a lifetime!" flames shot out of her eyes. "NEVER SAY 'GO COOK' AGAIN!"
The Trio yelped and hid behind Molly, their heads slightly burned.
"This morning, I caught her glaring at the stove." Molly whispered to them.
Later, when the McGees finally returned home, they gathered in the kitchen. When Sharon got a glimpse of the stove, she growled at it.
"Whoa…" Stretch gulped. "You weren't kiddin'."
"And I thought we was scary." Stinkie shuddered.
"Yeah. Think she could give us some pointers?" Fatso requested.
Sharon quickly regained her composure.
"Well, it's still cleaning day." she handed a box off to Pete. "Pete, why don't you and the boys go ahead and start in on the basement?"
"Aww…" Darryl whined.
"Whoa, whoa! What do ya mean 'boys'?" Stretch demanded.
Molly immediately dropped a box on top of him, along with a pair of gloves.
"Oh no! Nuh-uh! Fuggedaboudit!" Stretch got out from under the box. "We already told ya, the basement is bad news for us ghosts!"
"Relax." Sharon responded calmly. "Like we said, we'll just keep the door open and there won't be any issues. Here." she picked up a broom and used it to hold the basement door ajar. "Now you can come and go as you please."
Stretch sneered. "Hm…okay. Then we choose to go!"
Before the Trio could fly away, Sharon grabbed them by the necks.
"Yeah, nice try."
She then tossed all of them into the basement and they landed on the floor with a splat.
"Hey! Didn't anybody ever tell you people to have respect for the dead?" Stretch snarled.
Pete and Darryl came down the steps with their supplies.
"It's the McGees' cleaning song…" Pete sang solemnly.
"Hope it doesn't take too long…" Darryl groaned.
"Our lives have lost all meaning, so we'll waste our time by cleaaaaniiiinnnng!" Fatso joined in, only to get his lips pinched by Stretch.
"One more word outta you and I'm gonna clean your clock!"
"Aw, look at the bright side, Stretch," Stinkie claimed. "At least we're stuck in the dirtiest, smelliest place in the whole house! And, might I add, with us three in the picture, those bone bags won't get a chance to spoil everything with their 'lemony-fresh' scents. Yech!"
Stretch grinned mischievously. "Ooh, I like the way ya think, Stinkman! And the best part is, nothin' can stop us!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" the Trio laughed.
"Oh, and boys?" Sharon interrupted. "I expect you to clean up. As in, actually clean up. Because if you don't clean up…I'll clean up your act…got it?"
She gave the spirits a harsh glare, prompting them to huddle together in fear. Then, she slowly and dramatically pulled back the basement door, gave them one last "I'm watching you," look, and stepped away, leaving the door cracked slightly.
"Seriously…she's gotta teach us that one." Fatso noted.
"Wow, Mom," Molly said once she and her mother were alone. "I gotta say, you seem pretty cool and collected. I'm guessing you know exactly how we're gonna take care of this van situation."
"Are you kidding?" Sharon panicked suddenly. "I have no idea how to take care of this van situation!"
"Oh. Okay…"
"I mean, where do you even find jobs anymore?"
"Well, we can look at-"
"The newspaper?"
"Mom."
"Do they even make newspapers anymore?"
"Mom? Mom!" Molly crawled onto the counter and gently caressed her mother's cheek. "I don't know, okay? But they make apps. They make apps."
She picked up her phone to make a search on the app store and sure enough, it didn't take her long to find the perfect job-searching app. Sharon looked over her daughter's shoulder at the screen, which was displaying a pig with a dollar sign on its belly.
"Huh. 'Gig Pig.'
"It's for odd jobs." Molly explained, tapping a button that read 'Look for Gig.' "Someone needs a job done, you do it, you get paid, Mama!"
Sharon was overjoyed. "Quick cash…that's what we need! Good thinking!"
OINK! OINK! OINK!
Sharon nearly dropped Molly's phone upon getting a notification on it.
"That was fast! Looks like I've got my first job!"
Molly stood up. "You mean 'our first job,' because I'm gonna come with! This is a family problem after all, and if you're doing your part, then I'll do mine too!"
Sharon patted Molly on the head. "Why not? It's been a while since we've had some quality mother-daughter time."
"Awesome! So, what's the first gig?"
"'Handing out free food.'" Sharon read.
Just then, Fatso popped up between the two.
"Hey, now that's my kind of gig! So, we leavin' now or…?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fatso, we are not going anywhere." Sharon informed him. "Molly and I are going and you are staying here to clean the basement with Pete, Darryl, and your brothers. Like I told you to."
"Aw, c'mon! I can't do manual labor on an empty stomach!" Fatso voluntarily shrunk his waist. "Look at me! I'm practically dyin'! Oh wait…"
"Sorry, Fatso." Molly acknowledged. "But we already decided that this is a mother-daughter thing. Ya know, girls only?"
Fatso disappeared and reappeared in a red dress, a blonde wig, and makeup.
"No problem! Consider me your new sister, sweetcakes." he lifted Molly and hugged her tightly. "We'll have so much fun doing makeovers, eating free food, shopping, eating free food, gossiping about boys, braiding each other's hair…did I mention eating free food? 'Cause if not, I'll say it three more times! Eating free food, eating free food, eating-"
Molly laughed. "Okay, okay, big guy! You win! You can come with us. Okay with you, Mom?"
Sharon sighed. "Fine. But you only get one helping this time, buster! We don't want a repeat of the incident at the buffet."
"Aww, thanks 'Mom'!" Fatso grabbed Sharon's cheeks. "I could kiss you! In fact, I think I will."
And just like he said, he kissed Sharon fully on the lips, much to her disgust.
"Ugh! And lose that getup! It's embarrassing, even if no one else can see you in it."
As Molly and Sharon started to head out, Fatso reluctantly ditched the dress, but kept the wig on.
"Fatso…the wig, too." Molly reminded him from another room.
"Aww…"
Fatso then noticed the broom holding open the basement door. He picked it up and laid the wig on top of it.
"Hmm…it suits ya."
Satisfied, he left the broom beside the door and followed the girls outside. Unbeknownst to the biggest phantom, the broom soon fell over…shutting the basement door and blocking the doorknob with its handle…
In the basement, Pete and Darryl were getting themselves pumped up for all manners of sanitation: dusting, spraying, brushing, scrubbing, and mopping. Which one to do first, however, they had no idea.
"Um…where do we start?" Pete asked.
Stretch and Stinkie were laid back in the air above them.
"I know. How 'bout we start a riot?" Stretch suggested.
"Or a fire?" Stinkie chimed in.
Darryl's eyes darted toward the floor, where a red insect with dozens of legs was crawling around.
"Whoa!" he kneeled down to get closer. "That's the biggest centipede I've ever seen! They say if you see one centipede, there's a thousand more ya can't see…"
"I think that's cockroaches." Pete corrected.
The centipede crawled behind a box, so Darryl picked it up so he could continue watching the arthropod further. Hiding under the box were lots more centipedes, which immediately started to slither everywhere.
"Nope. Centipedes, too."
Pete felt something on his face and was horrified to find that some of the centipedes had crawled onto him!
"AAAAAAHHHH! They're in my mouth!"
Stretch and Stinkie burst out laughing.
"Boy, if we had known there'd be entertainment provided, we woulda brought snacks!" Stretch guffawed.
"I'm on it!"
Stinkie floated up the stairs towards the door, expecting it to still be open.
"Ow!" he bumped his head. "What the heehaw?"
Stretch joined him. "What's takin' so long?"
"Don't blame me! Some nincompoop shut the door on us!"
Stretch's eyes widened in fear. "Wait…so that means…"
"…We're trapped like rats!" both ghosts screamed at the same time.
"Whoa, easy, fellas!" Pete intervened, coming up the stairs. "It's not the end of the world. Like I always say: 'when one door closes, another opens.' Well…I guess in this case, it's just one door that's being closed and opened again. Anyway, I'll just turn the knob and then…"
Pete put his hand on the doorknob and tilted it sideways…but it wouldn't budge.
"Huh? That's weird…"
He tried again, pulling harder this time. Still nothing.
"Here, Dad. I'll give ya a hand."
Darryl came over and together he and his father tugged and pushed on the doorknob with all their might. But it was no use. They were locked in.
"Okay…that's not good." Pete decided.
In response, Stretch and Stinkie held each other and screamed again.
Meanwhile, Molly and Sharon had arrived in town to start their first job: handing out Barnes's Protein Bars. Sharon held a box filled with the nutritious snacks while Molly held a sign to draw attention to the stand.
"Free protein bars!" Sharon announced. "I scream, you scream, we all scream for protein!"
Molly spun the sign, nearly dropping it. Fatso appeared behind the stand and unwrapped one of the bars. Upon tasting it, he spat it out in disgust.
"Blech! That right there is the grossest thing that's ever hit my tongue. And I've eaten right outta the garbage!"
Sharon continued to hold out the bars for passers-by.
"Protein bar? Protein bar? Oh…" she noticed a grumpy-looking man with Fatso's spit-up on his forehead. "I see you already have one…"
Molly got out her phone to check the Gig Pig app.
"Please…did we make enough money yet?" Sharon hoped.
"Uh…"
Molly looked at their earnings and found they had only made a sliver of the amount they needed.
"Not yet." she brightened up. "But we have a new job!"
Sharon was relieved. "Thank heavens!"
The two of them heard a rustling in the trash can beside them and seconds later, Fatso popped out with a plate full of trash.
"What? I gotta cleanse my palate!" he poured the contents into his mouth, much to the girls' discomfort.
Back at home, Pete was trying to get ahold of his wife so she could come home and let them out of the basement.
"Any luck?" Darryl asked as his dad's phone repeatedly rang.
"Nope. Service down here is scarcer than Stinkie's sense of hygiene. We're just gonna have to wait until your mom gets home. Shouldn't be more than a few hours."
"A few hours?!"
Stretch and Stinkie started to panic.
"That's it! We're done for! Better start writin' our wills now, 'cause we won't have time for it later!"
"Boy, I really hope there's an afterlife for the afterlife!"
"Fellas, fellas, calm down!" Pete protested. "It's not so bad! The basement is perfectly safe! Worst thing we've got down here is those centipedes." he shuddered as he flicked one of the aforementioned creatures off his shoulder.
"Yeah, and besides, you're ghosts." Darryl pointed out. "Nothing can hurt you."
"That's where you're wrong, kid!" Stinkie disagreed.
"It's like we was tryin' to tell ya earlier," Stretch continued. "If a ghost stays in the basement for too long, it'll catch the attention of the most horrible, terrifyin' beast known to the dead! The Polterguzzler…"
Pete was speechless. "Uh…"
"Yeah," Stinkie went on. "It's this big, ugly monster that lives deep in the center of the Earth and ghosts are its favorite snack. It usually sleeps most of the time, but once some poor unfortunate ghoul ends up trapped in a basement, their scent causes the Polterguzzler to wake up!"
"Then it digs its way all the way up to that particular basement and gobbles up every phantom it sees!" Stretch finished.
"Oh…" Pete cleared his throat nervously. "I stand corrected. That is very bad."
"How long until it gets here?" Darryl wondered.
"Typically, it can take up to five hours." Stretch answered.
"Oh!" Pete smiled. "I stand corrected again. That's not so bad after all! We should be outta here before then."
Stretch grabbed Pete by the face. "Yeah, but that's just how long it takes to reach ghosts with normal body odor. The stronger a ghost smells, the faster this thing runs! And did you forget who we're sharin' this basement with?"
Pete and Darryl looked over at Stinkie, who let out a tiny burp that came with a terribly noxious gas cloud that made everyone else in the room cough.
"Okay," Pete gagged. "I stand corrected again again. That's very, very, very bad. By any chance, this 'Poltergussy,' or whatever it's called, doesn't eat fleshies too, does it?"
"No." Stretch replied.
"Phew…" Pete and Darryl sighed.
"But it will tear ya limb from limb until ya give up your own ghost."
"Then it'll eat ya." Stinkie mentioned.
"…AAAAAAHHHHH!" Pete wailed.
Molly and Sharon, meanwhile, were in the middle of their next gig: walking dogs. Dogs that were refusing to move an inch.
"C'mon dogs," Sharon encouraged. "You walk, you poop, you pay us! I thought we had a deal!"
Molly held out a treat for one of the pups, only for Fatso to eat it instead.
"Grr…" the dogs went and Fatso realized they were staring directly at him.
"Wait…dogs…can see me?"
"Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff!" the dogs barked.
"I don't like it! Make 'em stop!" Fatso yelped as the mutts began to chase him down the sidewalk.
"Whoa!" Molly and Sharon, still holding onto the dogs' leashes, were dragged along with them.
Pete paced the basement floor. "This isn't happening! What do we do? What do we do? I don't want my final resting place to be in a dirty old basement filled with creepy centipedes that will probably crawl over my remains when it's all over! Help! Somebody help!"
Darryl backed away from Pete, accidentally knocking over a box in the corner. Darryl beamed when he saw what was behind the box.
"Wait, Dad! I think I found something!"
"Please don't tell me it's more centipedes…" Pete pleaded.
"Nope! Even better! The solution to our problem! Check it out!"
The boy moved over so Pete and the ghosts could see what he found: a small door built into the basement wall.
"I wonder what's behind it."
"Who cares as long as it gets us outta here? Move it!"
Stretch charged right for the door, only to smack right into it without phasing through.
"Huh. Maybe we need to open it first." Darryl theorized.
"Well, let's find a way to do it and fast!" Pete was holding a broom, trying to fend off more centipedes. "Otherwise, these multi-legged horrors might eat us before the Poltergeiser can!" he screamed as more of the insects jumped on him.
So, for the next hour, Pete and Darryl did everything they could think of to get the mystery door open. First, they tried picking the lock with a hairpin, but a centipede used it to crawl out of the lock and onto Pete's hand, freaking him out. Then, they tried to force open the door with a broom handle, but Pete ended up smacking into the wall, knocking more centipedes from the ceiling onto him. They even attempted to break the door down by hitting on it repeatedly, which went about as well as expected. Finally, with the help of Darryl's old skateboard, Pete launched himself head-first into the door. Even with a helmet on, he still ended up with quite the concussion. Stretch and Stinkie couldn't even see the humor in their failed efforts, because each one squandered their hope of escaping bit by bit, until they were completely despondent.
"Welp, it's official. We ain't never gettin' outta here now."
"Yep. Better start thinkin' about what we're gonna do with our last living/unliving moments."
"Guys, we can't give up now!" Darryl insisted. "C'mon door, please open!"
"Oh, great idea, Darryl." Stretch replied sarcastically. "Haven't tried askin' it politely yet. That's sure to change its mind of stayin' shut. Hmph. Bet it ain't even a way out anyway."
Pete sat up. "You know, maybe you're right, Stretch. Maybe it's something even better! Maybe it's a secret vault where an old gangster stored all his loot! Forget fixing the van, we'll be able to buy a new one! Maybe one that's electrical, that drives itself, and has a cupholder! No! Two cupholders!"
"No," Darryl disagreed. "There's only one explanation for where all these centipedes came from. That door obviously leads to another world…a centipede world! There's a centipede mayor and a centipede school, a centipede shoe store, a centipede florist, maybe a centipede jail with super-buff centipede convicts! We'll charge admission and make millions!"
"Love it!" Pete confessed. "But, counterpoint: I don't think Centipede World is real."
"Remember when you didn't think ghosts were real?" Darryl gestured to Stretch and Stinkie.
"Hm…good point."
"Hey," Stretch interrupted. "In case you skin sacks have forgotten, a spirit-eatin' monster is about to come and devour us all. It don't matter how much money you could find or make, 'cause ya ain't gonna be alive to use any of it!"
"Yeah, and we ain't gonna be undead to steal it from ya!" Stinkie added. "Face it, there's no point in wastin' what little time ya got left on that stinkin' door!"
Pete and Darryl exchanged smiles.
"Oh, yes there is." Darryl argued.
Pete nodded. "Fellas, if there's one thing Darryl and I have learned from all the mystery movies we've seen, it's that the end is only worth it if answers are given."
Stretch and Stinkie were bewildered. "Huh?"
"What I'm saying is, maybe the door is a way out and maybe it isn't. Maybe we'll escape before the Poltergusty gets us and maybe we won't. But one thing's for sure…if today is when I die, then I want to die knowing the secrets that lay beyond this wall. Because only then will I be at peace."
"Me too." Darryl concurred. "Whether we get eaten or not, we have to know."
"We have to know." Pete repeated.
The father and son together picked up a crowbar and gave the ghostly brothers determined smiles.
"This family's bonkers!" Stretch told Stinkie.
"This family's nuts!" Stinkie agreed.
The two looked beside them, expecting an idiotic third comment.
"Great! I don't even get the chance to bonk Fatso for sayin' somethin' stupid one last time!" Stretch morphed into a hammer and grabbed Stinkie. "Guess you'll have to do."
"Wait, what? Ow!" Stinkie cried out as he was hit.
Speaking of Fatso, he was still out with the female McGees 'helping' them with their gigs. The one they had at the moment was taking care of buffalo at a farm.
"Buffalo can also see me!" Fatso yelled while being chased.
Sharon checked her phone. "Okay, next task: shovel buffalo patties.'"
"What are buffalo pat-" Molly started to ask until her mom pointed behind the buffalo she was currently tending to. She retched. "Oh."
"Yep."
"Oh man…this is definitely a job for Stinkie…"
Right at the moment Molly said this, Stinkie was pulled out of Stretch's arms and into the basement wall.
"Hey! What gives?" Stretch demanded. "How are ya doin' that? These walls are supposed to be impenetrable for ghosts!"
"I dunno!" Stinkie shrugged as his body was slowly dragged through the wall. "But judgin' by the pink glow around me and the fact I'm bein' pulled away against my will, my guess is Molly musta said my name."
"The curse…" Stretch beamed. "The curse is strong enough to break outta basements! I never thought I'd say this, but bein' eternally attached to an annoyin' fleshie actually has an upside!"
Stinkie's whole body started to disappear through the wall, along with his right arm. Stretch grabbed him by the other arm before it was lost as well.
"Listen, when ya get to wherever you're goin', ya gotta tell Molly to say my name, too! Then I'll be as good as free and the Polterguzzler won't have no choice but to starve! There ain't a second to spare! Find Molly and get her to summon me! And you better not forget, got it?"
"Uh, sure. Yeah. Tell Molly to say your name so you can…wait…I already forgot the second part. My memory's a little scrambled from the head whackin' ya gave me. Okay, find the Polterguzzler, get him to say Molly's name…no, that's wrong. Make you say the Polterguzzler's name so Molly can be free. Or was it the other way round? Hold on, I know I can get this, just gimme a min-"
Stretch rolled his eyes and released Stinkie's arm, launching the latter out of the house. The curse flew him all the way to the buffalo pastures where he smacked into the back of Molly's head. Surprised by his sudden appearance, Molly hugged him.
"Stinkie! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" she sniffed. "Ew. But definitely not a sight for sore noses."
Stinkie floated out of her grasp. "No time for humorous quips, Moll! I gotta tell ya somethin'! There's-" he was suddenly distracted. "Hey, is that a buffalo patty? The most redolent and exquisite variety of animal droppings next to the musk ox patty? I'm impressed! You guys got great taste in waste!"
"Stinkie, focus!" Sharon lectured. "You said you had something to tell us! What is it?"
"Oh yeah. It's about Stretch and the other guys. Ya see, they're-"
Before he could say, Fatso came up from behind and bumped into him.
"Stinkie! Ya gotta help me, man!"
"No, you gotta help me! All of ya do! So listen up, 'cause what I gotta say is real important!"
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Sharon encouraged. "Spit it out already!"
Stinkie paused. "Uh…well, the thing is…I actually don't remember."
"What?!" Sharon was in disbelief. "What do you mean you don't remember? You said it was important! How can you not remember something that's important?"
Stinkie chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry. With Fatso out here helpin' you guys, Stretch has been usin' me as his new personal punchin' bag. Really does a number on the brain, ya know?"
"Eh. It gets easier after a while." Fatso claimed. "And ya get used to the memory loss eventually. Come to think of it, I forgot why I was runnin' just now."
Suddenly, a huge buffalo jumped in front of the ghosts and blew steam from its nostrils furiously.
"Ohh…that's why."
"Wait…they can see us?" Stinkie feared.
The buffalo bellowed and charged right at the two.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" they screamed while running away.
Molly and Sharon watched the scene with blank expressions.
"Okay then…" Molly changed the subject. "So, do we have enough money for the van repairs yet?"
Sharon checked her phone. The app showed they were only halfway to their goal.
"Not nearly enough…"
"HEEELLLLLP!" Stinkie and Fatso screamed as the buffalo repeatedly jumped on top of them.
Molly ignored them. "Mom, it's not enough…yet! Let's get giggin', piggins'!"
The tween took her mom's phone and immediately accepted another job, this one asking to repair a sink. There was a lot of frustration and a lot of bursted pipes, but together, Sharon and Molly managed to get it done, albeit with their clothes completely soaked. After that, the mother and daughter were offered a gig to be clowns at a kid's birthday party, and despite the pair failing at the juggling act and the birthday cake disappearing mysteriously (though Molly and Sharon noticed crumbs on Fatso's face later), it turned out to be a success. Still, the McGees hadn't yet reached their goal, so they continued to take every job opportunity that came their way.
She's gonna make that cash
She's got a family to feed
Doing everything she can to make ends meet
She's giggin' (giggin', giggin)
Giggin' for a livin'
She'll give your poodle a bath
And your schnauzer a shower
She can steam clean your jeans if you pay by the hour
She's plugged in
Giggin' for a livin'
Pete picked up a sledgehammer. "Let's do this…"
He raised the instrument toward the mystery door, but due to its great weight, ended up falling backward, much to Stretch's exasperation. Darryl, on the other hand, was too caught up in his fantasy of Centipede World to care about anything.
She'll cater your luncheon
Or paint your wall
The Polterguzzler's gonna eat us all
"Don't remind me!" Stretch scolded.
Every gig, something new
Ride or die for a five-star review
She's workin' hard (workin' hard)
She's on a roll (on a roll)
Up to her elbows in toxic mold!
"Wait, what?" Sharon went.
She's giggin'
"Did she say 'toxic mold'?" Sharon panicked.
She's giggin'
"Leave us alone!" Stinkie and Fatso yelped as more dogs tailed them.
She's giggin'
Giggin'
Giggin'
Giggin' for a livin'!
"Seriously, though, do we need to see a doctor?" Sharon asked.
You'll be fine!
With great vigor, Pete and Darryl pushed their "Door Buster 9000," an invention they put together with a washing machine, a leaf blower, a trash can, and several pointy garden tools, toward the mystery door. Stretch was floating in circles above them, which they guessed was his way of pacing the floor.
"I don't get it! Stinkie should have told 'em everything by now! So why am I still here?! Those ungrateful nitwits! After all I've done for them, this is how they repay me? To think, I coulda fed them to the Polterguzzler and it woulda been too full to eat me!"
"Now Stretch, just relax." Pete assured him. "We can still make it out. We haven't opened that door yet, after all."
"Yeah, and with our new Door Buster 9000, we're sure to do it this time!" Darryl insisted.
"Atta boy!" Pete playfully punched his son's shoulder. "That's usin' the ol' McGee can-do attitude!"
"I dunno why you're so chipper, Petey," Stretch scoffed. "When just a few hours ago you was all, 'I don't wanna die! I ain't ready! I'm under the delusion that my life is somehow precious!'"
"You were a little over-the-top, Dad." Darryl concurred.
Pete shrugged. "Well, I eventually realized that panicking doesn't make a situation any better. Besides, it's already been at least four hours and that Poltergoozer hasn't shown up to eat us so far! In fact, the more time we spend down here, the more I come to believe you made up the whole thing to try to scare me!"
ROOOOOAAAARRRR!
Pete froze upon hearing the horrible noise that came from below the basement floor. Suddenly, the floorboards started to break apart, revealing pointy, smoke-like hair. Pete, Darryl, and Stretch backed away as they were now face-to-face with a horrible, drooling, hairy monster with an enormous mouth filled with teeth that were just as enormous…the Polterguzzler.
"So, Pete, still think this is just some ghost story?" Stretch bragged.
Pete gulped. "Okay, it's okay. Everyone just remain calm. I still meant what I said. Panicking will not help."
ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!
"…But it's the only thing I can think of right now! AAAAAHHH! We're doomed! We're doomed!"
The Polterguzzler opened its huge mouth and started sucking in air like a vacuum. Stretch held onto a baseboard, even though he knew the only thing that accomplished was delaying the inevitable.
"Wait! Ya don't wanna eat me! I don't got any flavor! And besides, I won't fill ya up! I'm a light snack at best! Now, my brother Fatso, he's a full meal, guaranteed! And my other brother, Stinkie is loaded with flavor! If ya wait a while, I can introduce ya to 'em! What do ya say, pal?"
The Polterguzzler clearly wasn't interested in making any deals and continued to pull Stretch closer and closer to its tongue. Stretch dug his hands into the floor, desperately clinging on for afterlife. Soon, Pete and Darryl felt themselves getting sucked in, too.
"Well men, it's been an honor working with you, but…it looks like this is our final curtain…" Pete lamented. "And Stretch? I have a confession to make…even though this whole time I've known you, you've been rude, selfish, and occasionally blunt with your less-than-flattering opinion of us McGees, I will admit…I still consider you to be one of us. And you always will be."
"I got a confession, too, Pete!" Stretch claimed. "The truth is…see…I uh…"
"Wait! Don't tell me! You're trying to say that despite your initial reluctance to let us move into your house and the fact that you get sick pleasure out of making everyone miserable, deep down, you're only behaving that way because you're insecure about your lack of companionship and over time, have grown to accept us as not just your friends, but your family. And secretly, you believe that we are the key to unlocking the compassion you've kept hidden for so long, as well as the ticket to finding your own happiness. Am I right?"
"…No. I was just gonna say that I've been puttin' itchin' powder in your underwear for the last six months."
"Wait…so, that wasn't a cotton allergy? I sold my favorite pair of briefs for nothing?!"
"Yep!"
"Oh, you've got to be…of all things, that's what you want to confess right before we die? I mean, c'mon, this is supposed to be a sentimental moment here! Darryl, you've gotta have some pent-up feelings you want to share, right?"
"Sorry, Dad," Darryl shook his head. "But the only secrets I want revealed right now are the ones behind that door! And until I know…I refuse to die…"
"Gee, you really got your priorities straight, don't ya, kid?" Stretch remarked.
"Don't listen to him, Darryl." Pete persuaded. "I know how important solving this mystery is to you. So, I say…go forth my son and find the truth! And then maybe tell me about it afterwards."
"Thanks, Dad. I will."
Using as much strength as he could muster, Darryl crawled his way over to the Door Buster 9000 and using the leaf blower attached to it, started the machine up.
Angered, the Polterguzzler opened its mouth wider, creating an even larger suction than before. Pete and Stretch embraced each other as they were now inches away from the beast's sharp teeth. But Darryl somehow resisted the mighty pull, his will to learn the basement secrets stronger than it. Then, he turned the Door Buster toward the wall with the mystery door and began to push it in that direction.
"C'mon Centipede World…"
The Door Buster inched closer. Pete and Stretch shut their eyes. The Polterguzzler kept inhaling. Then, against all odds, the Door Buster's various sharp objects broke through not just the door, but the wall surrounding it, and to Darryl's (temporary) awe, it revealed…a hot water heater. Before the boy could change course, the Door Buster poked a hole into the container and…
SPLASH!
The basement became flooded with water, most of which ended up in the Polterguzzler's mouth. With its airways blocked by liquid, the creature's pull on Pete and Stretch ceased and slowly, it began to sink into the shallow pool, never to come to the surface again. Stretch was wrapped around Pete's head, still traumatized from the whole situation, and at the same time, relieved he was still in one piece and annoyed at how easily the Polterguzzler was defeated.
"You've gotta be kiddin'! That thing lives in extremely high temperatures, can inhale anythin' within a 5-mile radius, and has given ghosts nightmares for generations! And yet, its weakness turns out to be water?! Seriously?!"
"I suppose it is a little cliche," Pete admitted. "But who cares? We're alive! Oh. Well, that's not entirely accurate. How about…we still exist! Yeah, that works better."
"Uh, Dad?" Darryl interrupted, gesturing to the huge hole in the wall. "When Mom gets home and sees this, we're definitely not going to 'exist' much longer."
Pete's joy deflated. "Oh…oh no…"
Darryl checked his dad's phone. "Well, on the bright side, you have service again! Heh, heh…"
Meanwhile, Sharon exhaustedly slumped down onto a park bench, having finally finished all of her assigned gigs. Molly, Stinkie, and Fatso were leaning beside her, also extremely exhausted.
"Everything hurts…" Molly grunted.
"At least you weren't viciously attacked by wild hounds!" Stinkie reminded her.
"Yeah! Just look what they did to my cute wittle tail!" Fatso sniveled. "Now it looks like old gum!"
Ruff! Ruff!
"GAH!" Stinkie and Fatso fell off the bench in alarm.
"So, how we doin', Mom?" Molly sat beside her mother. "We've gotta be close to our goal by now."
Sharon opened the Gig Pig app and it showed that their goal had been reached. Sharon was elated.
"We did it…we actually did it!"
"We did it?!"
Molly and Sharon hugged each other, laughing jovially.
"See?" Molly wrapped Stinkie and Fatso around her arm. "When we come together as a family, there's nothing we can't accomplish!"
"Yeah," Sharon agreed. "Mom and the McGees are unstoppable!"
"Hmph. You're unstoppable, all right." Stinkie commented.
"No matter how much we want you to stop." Fatso added.
Sharon's phone rang and she quickly answered it, knowing it was probably her husband.
"Pete? Honey? Great news! We just-"
Sharon paused as Pete started talking. All of a sudden, the smile on her face melted away.
"Wait…what?"
"Yeah, craziest thing. We were just down here cleaning and only cleaning," Pete fibbed. "And suddenly, boom! So…we're gonna have to add the cost of a new water heater on top of the van repair bill. But the good news is, a hole in the basement wall makes a perfect escape route for a trapped ghost! As well as provides a convenient method of killing a ravenous monster that's partial to supernatural beings."
"What?!"
"Uh, nothing! I'll explain it to you later! Love you!"
Pete hung up.
"Smooth, Dad." Darryl told him.
"Well, at least Stretch found his way out. And hey, since the water took out that Poltergossip, maybe it took those centipedes along with it."
Right after he said that, Pete noticed a box floating toward him and sitting on top, were the centipedes.
"AAAHHHHH!"
Sharon sighed as the call from Pete ended.
"Wow. We fix one problem, and then another one crops up…"
"I'm sorry, Mom. Being a grownup must be hard." Molly sympathized. "But I'm proud of you. Sure, there was hard work and silly costumes and multiple types of poop, but you gave it your all to make us some money! And that's awesome!"
Sharon smiled and affectionately rubbed Molly's head. "Aww, you're so good at finding the silver lining. You know, I liked getting out there too, trying jobs I've never heard of. I should keep being a Gig Pig. Our family clearly needs the cash."
Stinkie and Fatso got in between them.
"Yeah, and maybe you can use some of it to buy real food," Fatso mentioned. "Instead of that protein-filled, brain-enhancin' junk."
"Speakin' of brains, I never did remember that really important thing I wanted to tell yous guys." Stinkie shrugged. "Eh. Must not have been that important after all."
"Grr…"
Molly, Sharon, Stinkie, and Fatso looked up to see a soaking wet and angry-looking Stretch in front of them.
"Oh, now I remember." Stinkie chuckled nervously. "Hiya Stretch. Glad to see ya didn't get eaten. You're lookin' uh…wet?"
"Yeah, you really got the most out of cleaning day, huh?" Fatso joked.
Stretch grabbed them both by their necks.
"Oh, I sure did. And I'm gonna get a lot more outta it too, 'cause from the looks of it, I still got two big, moronic stains that need wipin' out!"
Stretch raised his fist.
"Uh…St-St-Stretch?" Stinkie tried to say.
"Oh no! Don't even try talkin' me outta this! Part of bein' family is sharin' everything, so I'm gonna share my pain!"
Stretch then heard a snort from behind him and felt a puff of air on his back. Turning around, he saw three dogs and a buffalo standing over him and snarling.
"Uh…tell me they're just starin' at some tree behind us?"
"They ain't." Fatso replied.
"Oh…"
The buffalo roared and the dogs barked.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
The Trio were powerless to do anything as the animals began to stomp on them over and over again.
Molly winced. "Uh…think we should help them?"
"Depends." Sharon answered. "How much will they pay?"
"Mom…"
"Kidding! Kidding! Sort of…"
Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
Okay! Hopefully, there'll be no more breaks for a while. I'm going to upload weekly or die trying! Remember to leave your thoughts in the reviews and if you'd like, give me some suggestions of your own on how I can make these episodes more unique. Honestly, I'd appreciate it because I don't know what to do with some of the upcoming ones.
Thanks for reading!