CAUTION: Spoils aspects of Innocent Hopes, Twisted Realities, as well as aspects of When Nothing Remains, and much of Usurpation of the Darkness through chapter 12.

Seriously, major spoilers here.

Assuming you wish to continue, read on…

Background: This was actually originally a scene from Usurpation of the Darkness itself, the second half of what was then the 10th chapter. But the story went through a lot of updates and revisions between that first draft and now, and somewhere along the way, everything involving this particular event got rearranged for very important reasons. Also, this was the only time Lily's POV was ever broken in the original draft, and I didn't really like doing that, so once this scene became irrelevant, there was no way I was keeping it.

But I liked it, despite its (many) flaws and difficulties. So here it is. All you need to know, contextually, is that Lily fled to Pyre the morning after being taken by Claw, confessed to every lie she's ever told, and was then sneakily put to sleep by Pyre, who used very much the same trick she did with Pearl, hiding one plant among others meant to kill pain. Any other inconsistencies between this and the story that is being posted as canon can be explained by the phrase "there's a reason this got totally scrapped". The same applies to OOC decisions, statements, etc.

Rage, self-loathing, and grief. The dragon who had called himself Pyre on a whim several season-cycles ago walked down to the shore, conserving his strength.

Lily had been abused, violated, hurt. He wanted to kill Claw. Fast, slow, whatever. It would not matter how, as the end result was ridding the world of such a twisted creature. That rage simmered inside him, acknowledged and put aside. He had to do something else first, to prepare.

Flight was an old memory, but swimming was a current one, the currents and hidden power in the water that doomed all others of his kind buffeting him, doing nothing. He was strong because he was weak and had nothing left worth attacking. So he plunged into the water as a damned soul might dive into battle, understanding that there was nothing to fear.

The water was murky, but his sight was keen, and his motivations strong.

There. He lunged and bit into a small rope-like creature, severing the head and swallowing it, though every instinct in his body screamed not to. Then he ate the rest before quickly returning to the surface.

By the time he made it to the shore, his head was spinning, but Risa was waiting.

"This is not real," Risa said calmly.

"No, it is not, and I know that." Pyre began walking back towards the valley, to the path up and down the mountain that he had painstakingly carved out. "But it is good to see you again."

Risa walked alongside him, her nostrils glowing slightly red. His vision was also slightly tinted red, another side-effect of consuming eel. He did not care. The nausea, a rising well of sickly energy he was going to need to expel, and the hallucinations were all familiar. This was the only way he could see Risa again, and he had long ago mastered the effects of eel. Once a season-cycle for decades on end, four days before the full moon of the hot season, he consumed eel, and spent the three days of hallucinations as he wished, talking to Risa for hours on end, running through the forest with her, even swimming, for she was not truly there, a figment of his own mind. But a true figment, more real than his memories ever could feel on their own.

It was probably killing him, to do it so often, but he did not want to live to old age anyway. He already felt old.

"You are being selfish even in your rage on her behalf, you know." Risa shook her head, her voice disapproving. "She would rather have you alive than dead."

"But I cannot help her alive." He had already made his decision.

"You can comfort her. That is not nothing. This is too big a risk for too little reward."

"We both know why I risk this," Pyre commented, ascending the mountain. "Whether or not I succeed in killing him, my death will spur her on. She needs the motivation. We share the same affliction, she and I. Our own pain does not often feel so important as the pain of another. It might be my fault that she is like that."

He had taught her all he knew, but maybe she had also picked up his faults. That was not something he himself could fix, for it was not something he could fix in himself either.

They were outside the cavern. Pyre looked in on his slumbering daughter, hating the faint scent of her blood in the air polluting the peace and happiness her normal scent brought.

Risa's image walked over to Lily and nuzzled her, showing the affection Pyre had only for a brief time witnessed with a hatchling Cressa.

"We lost Cressa." Risa nodded down at Lily. "But Lily is our daughter. You have told her."

"She knows," he agreed. "Family are the ones by your side, the ones who care. I have told her many times."

They walked out of the cavern and began to follow the path down into the valley.

"Do you think you will find me in death?" Risa asked idly. "The No-scaled-not-prey believe so, but our kind has no such beliefs, oddly enough."

"I choose to find you," Pyre responded solemnly. "Why else do you think I go to die in battle? They are not wrong, for their way of seeing death is one of honor and valor, as opposed to empty failure. In some ways, I think they are the better of us, for they create even in what they cannot know. We subsist and accept failure."

"I would have slapped you for saying that in life," Risa commented. "And I would physically hold you in that cavern, forcing you to swear to our daughter that you will never leave her. You know that."

"Sometimes, what is best is not what is easy, or what will make everyone involved happy," Pyre retorted. "And this is my decision. You are simply voicing my regrets and doubts."

"I am, and I know you will not be swayed. Your self-hatred is driving you to this solution, though you could think up alternatives in time."

Pyre nodded in agreement. "I do hate myself. This is a way to redeem myself, and help her in the process." He rounded a small corner in the path and looked down over the valley.

Risa stood beside him, and he could not feel the heat that should be radiating from a living body. She was a hallucination in the end, and he could not feel her.

"They are stupid," Risa commented. "From what Lily said, they do not question, resist, change. If you fail, she will have to fix them."

"No." Pyre shook his head in denial. "She will go to our first home and make a new life. Let these amoral monsters die in their own filth. They do not deserve her efforts."

"Do they not?" Risa looked out over the valley. "She spoke well of Crystal, Moss, Pearl, Pina. Four who deserve better, who deserve her love, in one way or another. Can she leave them, those who are still here? Can she even think of leaving?"

"Maybe, maybe not. It is out of my paws. And it is possible the better choice would be to stay, suffer, and fight for change," Pyre admitted. "I would not have her do that, but it is not my choice. Just as it is not her choice whether I spend my life in her defense."

"You are arguing with nothing, dear," Risa commented wryly. "I am not here, remember?"

"Soon, though." He continued on, almost down to the valley. He had carved this path in the early days when he still harbored some hope of Cressa coming around.

"Cressa is not our daughter. Maybe if we could have raised her..." Risa sighed. "If there is an afterlife, and all of us wind up together, she will have much explaining and apologizing to do."

"But that is the beauty of what the No-scaled-not-prey believe, Risa." Pyre chuckled, setting foot in the valley for the first time in decades. "She will go to a place of cold and empty suffering. The No-scaled-not-prey believe it has something to do with whether one dies in battle or not, but I think it would make more sense if those who do wrong and do not regret it go there. And as I am choosing to believe, I choose to believe that is how it works."

"Ever cynical, even in a matter of faith." Risa made a show of looking around. "Do you wish to appear insane here?"

Pyre considered that. "Sure, but not too insane. I love you, but you should not talk to me much here."

"Tell it to me yourself, if you succeed in getting yourself killed." Then a chuckle. "What happens if you kill him and no one kills you in retaliation?"

"I spend a few season-cycles apologizing profusely to Lily, swear to not do anything so stupid again, and live life." Pyre chuckled wryly, walking out into the open between the rocks. "If I survive this, it is because I am meant to be there for Lily. I would not throw that away. But I think I am meant to die here, now."

Risa walked beside him, and they approached the nearest dragon, who was staring in a mixture of awe and horror. His wings, probably, as this particular dragon appeared too young to remember him.

"Would you mind directing me to Claw?" He asked nicely, flaring his wings in a subtle effort to demonstrate how obviously harmless he was... and distract from the red fire dripping from his nostrils. The sickly energy from the eel needed to be released soon. "He wishes to speak to me immediately."

"Over there, on the plateau." The female winced, looking at him. "You do not look so well."

"Of course not, I am dying. Or will be, anyway." Pyre left her there, heading for the plateau, which has several figures on it.

"I believe you scared her, dear. You do look quite intimidating." Risa stepped in front of Pyre and began to hover at a set distance from him as he walked, blatantly disregarding reality.

"Do try to put some effort into appearing real, Risa." Pyre remarked. "We both know you cannot do that without moving your wings at the very least."

"Spoilsport. I'm not real, so let me have fun." Risa returned to the ground despite her objections. "So, how do you plan on doing this?"

"First I figure out which one is Claw, and then I see just how much damage one of these red blasts can do to flesh and bone." Pyre coughed, spitting a small example of the immensely unhealthy power building, blowing a small hole in the grass and dirt. "And again and again until he no longer exists, or until someone else kills me, or I run out of shots."

"So clean," Risa growled. "But I suppose it affords you the best chance of success, even if it is less painful than he deserves."

"That it does." Pyre shrugged off an odd look from a nearby dragon with a simple correction. "Not talking to you."

Then he was close enough to see the occupants of the plateau. Three females and a male, one of the females recognizable.

"Oh, it's that nice one, Crystal." Risa purred. "You are doing this for her too. She is Lily's friend, and also suffering thanks to Claw."

"Yes, I am." Pyre climbed up the plateau, facing the dragons who were just now noticing him. He spread his wings and opened his mouth, allowing the power to build. It almost felt like throwing up, as opposed to the normal feel of spitting or coughing, but that made sense as the power he was channeling originated in his stomach.

A roar of surprise from one of the females, motion. Pyre did not care. He shot at the one he hated, a massive red blast of energy leaving his mouth burned and in agony.

So much agony. He doubled over, coughing and gagging, his mouth burned on the inside. He had held it too long; it had hurt so much. But had it-

An impact on his side and he was thrown off the plateau, slamming his head and side into the jagged edge of another rock, a flash of pain.

He lay on his side at the base of that rock, feeling strangely broken inside. His body was not responding to his need to move, to attack.

The one who had to be Claw limped up, a large bruise and char mark across his side.

Risa was kneeling by Pyre's side. She looked up and spat in disgust. "It just popped on impact, the force going out in all directions. No damage that will not heal. But there was no way to know. It could just have easily been strong enough to kill if the power all went the right way."

"Should have tested that first," Pyre coughed weakly.

Claw, of course, did not see Risa, but he did hear Pyre's response. "Yes, you should have."

"Not... talking to you." Pyre rolled his eyes around to focus on Risa. "I'm dying."

"It's what you wanted," Risa replied neutrally. "I will see you in whatever comes next."

"And I will finally be able to touch you again, to know we are truly together." He laughed, though air was not coming easily.

"Mad, it seems," Claw growled, placing his paw on Pyre's neck. "Should I put you out of your misery, or should I make it worse?"

"Doesn't matter to me," Pyre responded happily. "I failed, but that was pretty much guaranteed. At least I die fighting."

"You die lying there," Claw corrected. "Talking to yourself."

"Fighting nonetheless, though now I fight my own body," Pyre rasped, "trying with all that remains of my strength to reach up and tear your heart out of your chest." He glanced down with his eyes at his limp paws. "As you can see, I am not succeeding."

"Totally mad." Claw shook his head. "Why did you attack me?"

To avenge Lily. To kill a monster that should not exist. To get himself killed. But that was not how he was going to answer.

"To die and maybe make the world a little better in the process."

"You are doing one of those." Claw walked away without another word.

The world was growing slowly darker. Then another figure crouched at his side, looking into his eyes. Risa was off to the side, waiting.

"How can I help you?" Crystal asked quietly. "I cannot let you die. Lily is near breaking already."

"It is not possible to save me now. She knows why I do this." Pyre could feel the cold encroaching, and knew it would not be long. "I die only regretting that I failed. Be a good friend to Lily. She needs friends."

"She needed you, I think." Crystal glanced up as if to be sure she was not being watched. "This will destroy her."

"She is... stronger... than that." His eyes did not seem to be working, and now all he could see was Risa, sitting in a pool of black emptiness. Soon, now.

She approached him, and he felt her touch his head with her paw. Was it Crystal he could feel, or was this real?

"Does it matter?" She purred at him, moving to his wings. "Your suffering is over."

Feeling returned to his limbs, and there was no pain. He looked back and saw that his wings were whole, membrane returned as if it had never been torn away and discarded.

The world was still dark around him, but he found that he could stand. Was this a last, gasping hallucination as he died, or something more?

He didn't care. He leaped into the air and joined his mate in a blind flight, putting the question out of his mind and following her. Sooner or later, if this was not a hallucination, Lily would join them, from old age hopefully, having lived a full and happy life.

Or maybe this would abruptly end in the next moment as the last bit of life trickled from the body he was no longer aware of.

Did it really matter? At the moment, he was happy, though there was a bit of guilt at leaving Lily behind. Nothing could ever be perfect.

His words to Crystal were right, though. Lily was strong enough to not be totally broken by his death.

Author's Note: I left the ending ambiguous intentionally because the possible existence of an afterlife doesn't really matter in this story, which is entirely focused on the land of the living. Believe whatever you wish about those last moments, though I think the popular interpretation will be the happy one (whether or not one approves of what Pyre just did), to balance the horrors of this story.

But none of this is canon, so I suppose it doesn't matter. Whether or not the whole bit about eels and Pyre using them to hallucinate his dead mate is canon is trickier; I meant it to be, and even hinted toward it, but the way things played out, we never got to see it or hear it confirmed in the main story. So readers can take it or leave it, as there's no way to be sure. (As of yet, anyway. If I see a way to work it on later, I will, because I like the idea.)