A/N: I do not own any character references by JK Rowling in the Harry Potter series. This story is a product of my pure imagination.
I've been having a hard time adjusting.
I had the shiniest wheels; now they're rusting.
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back.
I have a lot of regrets about that.
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could've followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don't quite know what to say.
But I'm here in your doorway.
I just wanted you to know.
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know.
That this is me trying
~ this is me trying by Taylor Swift
*~*~* November 15, 2002 *~*~*
Climbing out of her newly purchased car, Hermione pulled her long coat closer to her as she locked her car. Walking across the parking lot, she spotted the little café where she and her date were supposed to meet. According to his dating profile, his name was Andrew, and he was a 24-year-old banker and was a muggle. After talking to her new therapist, she decided to at least go on two dates a year. If she didn't like them, she put herself out there at least. She might stave off the loneliness and find a companion, friend, or partner if she liked them. Andrew was the first to respond, and they had solid conversations over e-mail and then by phone for two weeks before deciding to finally meet for coffee.
So, she found herself after work, driving to the little café known for its excellent coffee. Walking inside, she looked around and saw that he had yet to arrive, so she sat at a table with a view of the street outside. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves as the man she'd only seen via his picture online walked in front of the window.
Andrew walked in and spotted her; she greeted him with a smile. He was a tall, thin man with brown hair and a nice smile. Walking to her, he fumbled with his seat, nearly knocking over his chair in a way Hermione found endearing.
"Hello, Hermione," He said, "I'm sorry I'm late and look like a bumbling fool. I guess I'm a little nervous."
Hermione smiled at his honesty, "It's alright, Andrew. No harm done."
"Have you ordered?" He asked, taking off his coat.
"No, I was waiting for you," Hermione stated as the waitress came over and took their orders.
Hermione ordered a latte and scone, and he an English tea and muffin. They fell into easy conversation. Andrew told her about his job in a bank, and she told a version about her being a solicitor for animal rights. As they settled into their conversation, his nervousness became more pronounced. With nearly embarrassing enthusiasm, he seemed to fawn over her words about her education and accomplishments. Knocking his drink over not once, but twice, that the waitress had to clean up. When he stood up to get the attention of the busboy, he toppled his chair to the ground.
Hermione's initial endearment was turning into a mild concern. Something about him seemed off. He was sweet, but the nervousness made her uneasy. After the second cup had been cleaned up, Andrew took a deep breath and ran his hand over his face, "There is something I need to confess."
Hermione looked at him curiously, "What is it?"
"I'm not exactly who you think I am. I'm a half-blood. I went to Beauxbatons," Andrew confessed.
Hermione blinked in surprise, "You went to Beauxbatons?"
He nodded, "Yes, I didn't mean to deceive you. It's just… you are Hermione Granger! You are a war hero, a brilliant witch, and I've admired you for so long. If you knew I was a wizard, you would think I was just a fan trying to get close to you."
Hermione pursed her lips but could not ignore the nagging feeling, "Why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?"
He looked at the table, his cheeks flushed, "I wanted to impress you."
Hermione swallowed hard, "It's not about whether you are a muggle. It's about honesty and being yourself. Pretending to be someone else is never the answer."
Andrew nodded, "I'm sorry." After silence, Andrew smiled, "But hey, how can I make it up to you? I could take you out again. We'll go to Diagon, and I'll buy you as many books as you want for the rest of your life. Imagine all the rare magical tomes we could find through my job at Gringotts."
Hermione smiled, "That is very generous, but I'm looking for honesty. This isn't going to work. I appreciate the gesture. I need someone who will be honest with me."
Andrew's face fell, but he nodded, "I get it. I'm really sorry. I knew Fleur in school, and she raved about you and Harry Potter."
Hermione stood up, "I wish you the best."
As she left the café, Hermione groaned. Dating sucked.
Climbing in her car, she drove back home. Once home, she threw her keys into the basket on the decorative table near the front door, she pulled her boots from her feet.
"Anyone home!?" Hermione yelled as she took off her scarf, hat, and coat.
No one answered, and she walked into the kitchen to see a note on the refrigerator from Harry saying that they had all gone to the Burrow for dinner since she was on her date. They hoped she had a good time. Opening the refrigerator, she pulled leftovers from the night before when Harry made spaghetti and warmed it up.
Breaking her number one rule, she took her bowl upstairs to her bedroom along with a bottle of wine, and sat it on her desk. Opening her laptop, she let it boot up and got online. She went onto her AOL instant messenger and saw that most of the girls were listed as online. Clicking on their chat room, we are Witches Not Bitches, she typed:
HermioneGranger79: Home from my failure of a date and eating leftovers from last night. How was your night?
Opening up Yahoo, she scrolled through the news as the chat room popped up that Parvati had replied and clicked back to it.
ParvatiPatil80: Was he that awful?
Before she could reply, another message came across.
AngelinaWeasley77: Of course not, but our Hermione is picky.
Hermione frowned as she typed a reply.
HermioneGranger79: I Am not, I dated Ron, didn't I?
LavenderGoldstein80: She has a point. Ron was great but not exactly the knight in shining armor.
GinnyWeasley81: Hey, he is my brother!
GinnyWeasley81: But I agree, even though I wanted you as a sister-in-law
AngelinaWeasley77: And you got me instead :)
KatieBell78: But what was wrong with him? Wasn't he a muggle?
Hermione tipped back her glass of wine as she thought of her response.
HermioneGranger79: But he wasn't. He pretended to be. He went to Beauxbatons and knocked over his tea twice before admitting his nerves to me because of who I was.
HannahAbbot79: That's not cool.
HermioneGranger79: I have enough idol worship; I don't need it from a boyfriend.
ParvatiPatil80: Although he could worship you in the bedroom. Say, multiple orgasms.
PadmaPatil80: Parvati!
ParvatiPatil80: LMAO, I am just saying, Hermione, when was the last time you had sex?
Hermione blushed.
HermioneGranger79: None of your business.
GinnyWeasley81: Was it Oliver?
HermioneGranger79: Drop it!
Hermione signed off and turned her monitor off. Groaning, Hermione got up and threw herself on her bed. Turning music on, she finished off the bottle of wine then laid back putting her arm over her head, as she heard the floo chime as someone came through.
After a few minutes, her bedroom door opened, and Theo walked into her bedroom. Surprised, she asked him, "Why are you here, Theo?"
"I was at Daphne's and she was trying to figure out that computer you made her get. Amazing technology, by the way," Theo said as he sat down on her bed, "I saw the conversation between you and the witches. You okay?"
"It's just so frustrating!" Hermione stated, "Why can't I just have a normal date? My history of dating is awful. My first kiss was when I was 8, and it was a dare. He laughed and ran off afterward. The first real kiss was Victor Krum, and it was just… wet. Then there was Ron, I barely got off with him, and we had to be pissed at each other to get there." Hermione sighed, "Of course, there was that one really good time."
"Wait, no!" Theo gasped, "Hermione Granger, don't you dare tell me that you haven't had sex since Ron Weasley!?"
Hermione blushed as she looked at him, "What's it to you?"
"No, no," Theo said as he stood up, pacing, "That was…" He looked at her wide-eyed, "When?"
Hermione groaned, "May 2000."
"MAY?! 2000?!" Theo gasped, "Hermione, honey, that was nearly three years ago!"
"Sex just isn't a big thing for me, okay?" Hermione admitted, "It's really only been good once."
Theo sat down next to her, "Not even by yourself?"
Hermione frowned, "What do you mean by myself?"
"You know, when you masturbate," Theo stated.
Hermione sat up quickly, "That is none of your business."
Theo looked at her, "You don't, do you?"
Hermione threw her arms in the air, "Of course I do! Jesus Christ, Theo! I just don't do it much unless I am really frustrated. Can we drop it? Please?"
Theo patted her knee, "Your big beautiful brain of yours can be your worst enemy sometimes."
Hermione laid back on her bed, "Tell me about it."
Theo laid back next to her, "Have you at least had an orgasm?"
"Theo!"
"Done, done. I swear."
*~*~* February 24, 2008 *~*~*
Luna looked at Hermione over her notebook, "Had you?"
Hermione looked up from her journal, "Had I what?"
"Had an orgasm?" Luna asked.
Hermione groaned, "Of course, I had, not fantastic ones at that time. I thought they were, though." Hermione glanced at the door, ensuring Harry wasn't about to come in, "It did make me think about how I needed to go to the doctor, though."
Luna looked up, "Is that when you found out?"
Hermione nodded.
*~*~* December 13, 2002 *~*~*
Walking into the bustling reception area of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Hermione walked up to the reception desk. The young witch, not much older than herself, smiled at her from behind the counter.
"Good morning, Miss Granger. You are here to see Healer Thistlewood, correct?"
Hermione nodded, "Yes, that's right." Glancing behind her, she saw a young couple walking together behind a healer in a green coat, the man with his arm at a weird angle.
"Take the lift all the way to the top floor. That is where the healer's offices are located. They will help you from there."
"Thank you," Hermione smiled as she walked past a man with a hand sprouting from his head to the lifts and rode them to the top floor.
After informing the receptionist that she was there, she found a seat. Grabbing an issue of Witches Weekly, she was surprised to see herself when she went to the gala with Charlie. The article commented on her outfit and stated how she had grown into her looks.
Hermione huffed as she threw it to the side.
"Miss Granger?"
Hermione looked up to see a kind-looking witch with greying hair approach her, "That is me," She stated, standing up.
"Please come with me."
Hermione followed her down the brightly lit corridor to a private room. It was filled with various magical instruments and charts covering the walls with various pictured anatomies.
"Please sit on the table. According to your chart, you have never had a women's exam?" Healer Thistlewood asked.
Hermione frowned as she laid back on the table, "No, honestly, since I'm Muggleborn, I had a doctor when I was younger, but once I was in the magical world, I went to Madam Pomphrey at Hogwarts when I had an ailment. Since graduating, I've been lucky and haven't had many issues."
Healer Thistlewood nodded, "Lay back, and we will get started. Thankfully, magic is less invasive than muggle practices."
Settling back, Healer Thistlewood performed various spells and tests with her wand. A projected image of Hermione's internal body was translucent above her.
"That is amazing," Hermione said, gazing at it, watching her heartbeat on the projection as she felt it thump in her chest.
"It may feel a bit strange, but it helps me understand your health better," She explained, manipulating the image to turn and zoom in as she checked her brain, then her chest, "Your chart says that you received a curse to the chest years ago?"
"Yes, I have a scar from it. At the time, they did not know the specific spell," Hermione told her as she saw the glowing area inside her chest and abdomen, "Is that what's glowing? The spell damage?"
Healer Thistlewood nodded as her wand moved down her body. Zooming around Hermione's hips, Thistlewood got closer to the projection, her brow furrowing slightly as she gazed at Hermione's glowing organs, "Hermione, I see some things that I need to discuss with you."
"What is it?" Hermione asked, looking at her and then at the projection.
Healer Thistlewood pointed to a certain area of the projection, "There is a lot of curse damage in this area of your body. I see damage to your fallopian tube on this side where the curse ended."
Hermione frowned, "What does that mean?"
"Well, it means that that may block the fertilized egg from moving down. There is no scar tissue on the other side. Still, there are scar tissue areas on your uterus and other organs," Healer Thistlewood stated, "Were you subjected to the cruciatus curse?"
Hermione felt a lump forming in her throat and nodded silently.
"Good news, you have healthy eggs. Your ovaries are functioning normally. This doesn't mean that you can't have children. It just means that it will be more difficult for you than for others," Healer Thistlewood stated, "In the future, if you have fertility issues, we can explore magical treatments and interventions if we come to that point."
Hermione nodded, placing her hand on her stomach, "I see. Thank you for being honest with me."
Placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder, Healer Thistlewood smiled, "You aren't alone in this. Many witches are sadly in this same situation after the war. If and when you are ready to discuss this. There are groups for war survivors that you could talk to."
Robotically, Hermione left the offices and St. Mungo's. Instead of heading back to the Ministry, Hermione disapparated back home.
*~*~* December 19, 2002 **~*
Hermione came down to the Ministry of Magic's Atrium. She stood next to Lavender, clutching a banner that read "Equal Rights for Werewolves Now!" The atrium had a chill that bit at her cheeks as the full moon was rising outside.
Glancing at Lavender, she saw how uncomfortable the other woman was becoming, "How are you doing, Lavender?"
"Restless. Craving something a tad bit raw, it's the worst part of all of this," Lavender stated, "But I'm lucky in this community."
After a few hours, most witches and wizards had left for the day, and the small group of protestors held strong. Sitting on the cold floor, Hermione reapplied the heating charm to warm her bottom, then handed a pamphlet to a passing wizard, "Please consider resolution 2345!"
Sighing, the wizard ignored her and walked towards the fireplaces. She saw a familiar figure walking towards her. Waving Harry over, he smiled as he sat beside her, "How are you two holding up?"
"Alright, why are you here?" Hermione asked him.
"I put Teddy to bed, and I was looking at him. I thought of Remus and knew I had to be there. Ron said he'd listen for him tonight," Harry said, putting his legs out in front of him, "Has Kingsley come out yet?"
Hermione shook her head, "No, but the Wizengamot hasn't been dismissed yet."
Anthony hurried out of the lifts, "They are finishing up now!"
The small crowd of 20-30 people stood up. Their chants started and echoed off the marble walls of the atrium. Banners and posters demanded equal rights for werewolves in the job market and access to wolfsbane.
Some Wizengamot members started filtering through the atrium. Hermione yelled, "Please consider resolution 2345!" as she attempted to give them the pamphlet Anthony had made up.
A few wizards looked at Harry and took the pamphlet, but most ignored them in a rush to the fireplaces.
As the atrium emptied again of the wizarding folk, outside of the protestors, Hermione and Harry found a spot near the fountain to rest their backs as they propped the banner on their feet.
Seeing a young boy, no older than nine, who had been one of the last afflicted during the war, Hermione took a deep breath, "Harry, there is something I need to share with you."
Harry took her hand, "What is it?"
Hermione bit her lip as she closed her eyes, "I had a checkup at St. Mungos recently. She found that I have a lot of internal scarring from the Dolohov and the cruciatus curse."
"What does it mean?" Harry asked, concerned.
Hermione swallowed hard, "It means that it's likely that I'm going to have difficulties having children. If I can at all."
Harry hugged her, "Hermione, I am so sorry. It's all my fault."
"No, Harry. It's not. I went with you by my own choice. You didn't curse me," Hermione stated, "It's just, yes, I didn't want kids yet, but, in my head, when I was ready for them, they'd just happen."
"Is there something they can do?" Harry asked, keeping an arm around her.
"If it does become a problem in the future, there are options and treatments," Hermione assured him, "I just needed to share it with someone."
"I'm glad you told me. You are one of the strongest people that I know, Hermione. Whatever happens, I'll always be here for you," Harry assured her.
"Thank you, Harry. It means a lot," Hermione said as they huddled together as the warming charms must have started waning.
Hermione conjured a blanket and enchanted it to provide them warmth. Some people started leaving, but the core group of protestors attended to go late into the night. Slowly, the exhaustion began to take its toll, and they leaned on each other more for support. Before she knew it, Hermione's eyelids grew heavy after Harry stopped talking and fell asleep thirty minutes prior.
When she heard "Good morning" from a familiar voice the next morning, Hermione tried not to groan at the stiffness in her body as she looked up at Kingsley. "You two look comfortable."
Harry stirred next to her, "Don't feel comfortable."
"Did you two seriously camp here all night?" Kingsley asked in disbelief.
"Yes, if the werewolves must struggle last night. We shall as well," Hermione stated, "We will keep fighting until resolution 2345 is heard."
Kingsley sighed, "Go home. Both of you. Take Teddy to school, then get some sleep. Hermione, I am giving you the day off. Put the resolution on my desk on Monday morning. I'll review it, but there is no guarantee that department heads will vote on it until after the holidays."
Hermione smiled, feeling renewed purpose, "Thank you, Kingsley!"
Anthony and Lavender walked over to them as Kingsley left. "Well, what did he say?" Anthony asked.
"Told me to put the resolution on his desk on Monday morning. There were no guarantees that the department heads would vote for it to go to Wizengamot before the holidays. Still, it's progress," Hermione said excitedly.
Anthony announced the development to the remaining protestors, who packed up in celebration. Harry waiting for her at the floo with the blanket in hand. They flooed home and took Teddy to school. Together they crashed on the couch for the rest of the day.
One month later, a bi-law called The Full Moon Resolution was enacted for werewolves to be given three days off near the full moon. It was a step in the right direction.
*~*~* January 18, 2003 *~*~*
"Where is Teddy tonight?" Luna asked as she and Hermione stood in the concession line of the movie theatre, waiting their turn to get popcorn.
"Home, he, Ron, and Harry were going to watch the preseason game of Ginny's tonight on the new Wizarding Television Network," Hermione stated as Luna yawned, "Tired?"
Luna nodded, "My body is working hard lately, so it takes a lot of energy from me. I think I will get a large popcorn."
Angelina approached them with her purchased goodies, "So what is this movie again?"
"Chicago. It's a musical," Hermione stated, "It is a Broadway play they made into a movie."
Luna looked at her, "What is Broadway?"
"A show that goes on stage nightly," Hermione stated, "In New York, but other big cities too."
After the movie, they all were buzzing.
"I think we need to have dancing lessons. Wouldn't that be fun?" Katie asked her arm through Hermione's.
"That would be. We should definitely," Hermione said.
"We will talk about it in the group chat," Angelina said as she and Katie left.
Slowly, everyone but she and Luna left, and Hermione put her arm in Luna's, "Well, Luna, what are your plans for the rest of the night?"
"Going home and crashing because this pregnant lady can't do much more," Luna stated.
Hermione froze, her heart leaping to her throat, "What?" Tightness started in her chest.
Luna smiled, "I'm pregnant. It's twins, too, from what my aura shows. It's early still."
Her heart beating in her ears nearly drowned out Luna's words, but she croaked out, forcing a smile on her face as tears she couldn't stop coming down her face, "Congratulations. Yes, go home. Rest."
Luna beamed as she hugged Hermione, "Thank you, Hermione. I wanted you to be one of the first to know since you are my best friend."
Hermione wiped her eyes, "I'm honored. You will be a great Mum. Now go home and rest. Call me later."
Luna walked into the alley and apparated away. As soon as she heard the pop of her apparition, her resolve broke, and she was thrown into a full-blown panic attack.
Closing her eyes, she disapparated, and instead of landing in their backyard, she nearly landed on Harry's lap in their sitting room as he read a book.
"Hermione! What's the matter?" Harry asked, panicked.
Clawing at her chest as it felt like it was sinking into her body, she croaked out, "Luna's pregnant."
Harry pulled her onto the couch, looking her body over, trying to figure out why she was so hysteric. Pulling her to his chest, when he spotted no blood or marks on her, he rubbed her back, "Follow my breathing."
After a few minutes, she could breathe easier and had feeling enough back in her fingers that she could feel Harry's jumper under her fingers.
"I assume you had a panic attack. Why would Luna saying that she was pregnant put you into a panic attack?" Harry asked, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his lap. "It's wonderful, surprising news for her and Rolf."
Hermione nodded as tears fell down her cheeks, "It is, but…. I didn't want to show her how upset I was. It was just hard to hear with how recent the news was."
Harry held her tighter, "I'm so sorry, Hermione. I know you don't want children yet, but I can't imagine how hard this is for you."
She buried her face in his shoulder as the tears fell again, "I was so happy for her, but it just reminded me that I might not have it."
Harry ran his hand over her curls, "One way or another, I will make sure you get to have a baby when you are ready, okay? Whether we have to go to a specialist or muggle means. You don't have to face this alone."
After a few minutes, Hermione wiped her face as she shakily stood up, "I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."
Harry got up and turned the lights off, "I'll go upstairs with you to make sure you are settled in."
After going through her nightly routine, Hermione climbed into her bed, and Harry pulled back her duvet. "Thank you, Harry."
"No need to thank me, I'm always here for you," Harry told her.
"Could you lay with me?" Hermione asked.
Harry climbed into bed with her and pulled her into his arms. Closing her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder, she felt a sense of peace she had not felt in so long. When they left NYC, she and Harry had not slept in the same bed since. Her nightmares had been back since, too. Sighing as she felt him running his fingers through her hair, she knew that the strength of their bond was soothing her and wanted to take advantage of it while she could.
Harry started snoring fifteen minutes after climbing into bed, and Hermione raised her head to look at his features. His sleeping face next to hers for the first time in a year. Kissing his forehead, she laid her head back on his chest.
"Harry, I love you. I am your soulmate; we have a bond. But you want children, and I can't have them now. I love you enough to give you up so you can have that dream," Hermione whispered as a tear fell down her face.
*~*~* January 19, 2003 *~*~*
"Hermione, Hermione," A gentle voice whispered near her ear.
Opening her swollen eyes, she saw Luna staring back at her.
Luna held out her hand, and Hermione took it gently, climbing out of bed to avoid disturbing Harry. Quietly shutting the door behind her, Hermione led Luna downstairs and started making a pot of coffee.
"Hermione, you are codependent on Harry. He isn't going to give up Ginny for a while," Luna told her, "I hate seeing what it's doing to you. Your aura is crying out in pain."
Hermione swallowed hard, "Don't worry, Luna. I'm moving on. For good."
*~*~* February 24, 2008 *~*~*
"Hermione, why didn't you tell me?" Luna asked as she came and sat beside Hermione, "Here I thought it was just the pain of your bond, but it was what you had just found out, and I told you about the twins."
Hermione swallowed back the tears at the memories, "I was happy for you. I wasn't ready to accept it until Harry was there. All I could think of was, what good would this bond be if I couldn't give him a child? So, I distanced myself. I worked more. It got worse when Dominique was born that February. I was so depressed that I couldn't see straight some days. The nightmares of reliving all the torture came back. February rolled into March, and Ron started dating Susan. All I could think of was red-haired children. There was going to be even more Weasleys. Another thing I couldn't do."
Luna took her hand, "You weren't yourself for a while. We all thought it was because you worked from sunup to sundown."
"I went to work at 7 each morning and didn't leave until 7 or 8. I wrote proposals for legislation that probably were never even glanced at. Most of all, I avoided Harry."
*~*~* April 1, 2003 *~*~*
Walking through the aisles of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, Hermione looked at all the newest creations that George had engineered.
George came around the till and walked over to her, "Come with me."
Hermione frowned as she let him pull her to the back past a blue, glowing curtain. Once behind the curtain, she gasped as she saw they were in a room filled with adult toys, "George?!"
"Who are you, and what have you done with Hermione Granger?" George asked.
Hermione crossed her arms over her chest, "What the hell are you on about George?"
"One, Hermione Granger would have hexed me if I grabbed her like that, and two, she definitely wouldn't have let me pull her without knowing the destination. Third, you would have commented about my depravity, seeing what is in this room," George stated.
Hermione sighed, "Maybe I'm a new person."
"No, you are depressed. Don't think I haven't seen you at the Leaky with Nott and Greengrass lately. Nearly every night, you are there drinking," George told her, "Ron and Harry say you are working late, but instead, you are at the Leaky Cauldron tossing back drinks? What the hell, Hermione, is going on?"
"None of your fucking business George. You know nothing about me," Hermione spit out, turning around to see an extender potion for men and jumping back in disgust.
"Look, Hermione. You are scaring me," George told her, "You helped me when I was having trouble losing Fred. I just want to pay it forward."
Hermione looked at the floor, "Do you have a potion to fix broken witches? Unless you do, you can't help me."
George laughed, "You broken? Lost, maybe, but broken? Never."
Hermione looked at him, "I have too much spell damage to have children."
George stared at her, "Fuck, Luna, and Fleur in the last two months."
Hermione nodded sadly, "It's been a hard couple of months."
George hugged her, "Is there anything they can do?"
"There is no guarantee that I can't have kids. It just may be much harder for me," Hermione mumbled into his chest, "So I've worked my ass off the last two months so that I don't think about it. Then I go home, and I crash. I no longer know what Harry, Ron, and Teddy look like. I'm either too tired or too drunk. Kingsley came into my office this morning and said I had so much overtime that I had to take the rest of the day off and tomorrow, too." She sighed as she wiped her face, "There is a ton of work to do. I started working on the old archive room after I went down there to research cases. No one maintains it. All the boxes were labeled incorrectly, so I started refiling everything more coherently. It's mundane work, and it helps distract my brain."
George grinned as he walked over to a shelf and brought a bottle, "Tonight, I want you to go home. Silence your room and take this."
Hermione frowned as she took the swirling pink glittering liquid bottle, "What's Your Fantasy?"
"It's a potion that Lee and I developed that is an alternative to dreamless sleep. Instead, you have vivid sexual fantasy dreams," George informed her.
Hermione blushed as she looked around at what covered the walls, "You know, you could get a lot of ideas from Muggle sex shoppes."
George grinned, "Where do you think Lee got most of these ideas? These are a line of flavoured lubes. We even have one that will change depending on the users' desires."
Hermione looked at him surprised, "Whatever they desire?"
"Yeah, I was craving chicken when I finally got the recipe right. It was a little weird," George stated as Hermione laughed as he pointed at a life-sized doll, "Honestly, I got the idea for that from Charlie and Bill's doll. Lee and I attempted to make a more realistic one. We had some very satisfied wizards after preorders. It even has a self-cleaning mode."
Hermione looked at him in disgust, and he laughed.
"We have self-tying ropes and swings, and this is more of our potion line. Role-playing potions similar to Polyjuice," George informed her, showing her the products. "Last but not least, vibrating wands can change appearances depending on the witch or wizard's desire."
"Wow," Hermione said, surprised. "Has there been a response so far?"
George snorted, "No, our world is so stuck to their old times. Younger wizards, mostly. You are the first witch I know to cross the age line."
Hermione glanced at the curtain and laughed as she looked at him, "No beards this time?"
George nodded, "What do you think Freddie would think of all this?"
"He'd love it," Hermione told him, "One thing though that I'd advise."
"What is that?" George asked.
"The Apothecary usually doesn't carry them; if they do, it's only a daily potion. Usually, witches have to make it ourselves. If we don't, we depend on the spell. You should do a contraceptive potion," Hermione suggested. "See if you can make one that has a longer life, too, compared to a daily basis. Maybe a weekly or even monthly."
George put his arm around her shoulders, "You are a genius, Granger. Are you any good at potions? You can help me develop it, and I'll give you royalties."
Hermione nodded, "Sure, it gives me something to do. Where are your cauldrons?"
*~*~* February 24, 2008 *~*~*
Luna looked at her, surprised, "So you are the reason we have a monthly contraceptive potion?"
"Well, the weekly," Hermione stated, "I played with the ingredients to see what would increase the effectiveness for longer. Lee and George were the ones that worked on the monthly. It took a while to come up with the right formula. Of course, it is not always effective." Hermione looked down at her growing stomach, "Obviously, in my case. Like Muggle contraceptives, you shouldn't be late with a dose and should take it around the same time each time. In my case, I was one day off on marking it in my calendar. But I digress."
"So, did you take that fantasy potion?" Luna asked with a grin.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Let me guess, you have taken one?"
"Oh, they have given me many ideas to help explore my sexuality," Luna told her.
"Let's just say it took me a while to even remember I had it," Hermione informed her, "I got pretty busy after that with helping George, work, and the school."
*~*~* April 11, 2003 *~*~*
,
Hermione looked up from the stacks of files surrounding her to see an interoffice memo flying overhead. Reaching up, she pulled it out of the air and unfolded it to see a note from Kingsley stating that he wanted to see her in his office as soon as possible.
She groaned as she waved her wand, and the piles she had already organized went into their appropriate boxes while the rest went into their previous boxes. She knew what the meeting would be about. The overtime she was pulling was still too much, and Kingsley would finally crack down on it.
She left the Magical Law Records and Archives room and saw that even the Law Record receptionist had left for the day. Locking the door behind her, she got into the lift and went up from level two to level one, where Kingsley's office was.
The gates opened to the plush purple carpet of level one, and Hermione stepped out. Walking down the deserted halls of the high-ranking Ministry officials who had left long ago. She took in the shining wooden doors with silver plaques that had their names engraved. Many were Pureblood families. One particular, despite Lucius being in Azkaban, had Malfoy engraved. Kingsley's door at the end of the hallway had the largest plaque with MINISTER OF MAGIC KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT in bold letters. Opening the door, she greeted his secretary, who was packing up for the day and was told to go ahead.
With a quick knock, Kingsley's deep voice boomed, "Come in, Hermione."
Stepping inside, she shut the door behind her and saw Kingsley sitting behind his large oak desk. He gestured for her to sit in the chair across from him.
"Thank you for coming, Hermione," He began, "I've noticed you've been working incredibly hard lately, especially in the archives. I wanted to discuss that with you."
Hermione attempted to sit tall, "I'm sorry, Kingsley, but all the boxes were labeled incorrectly when I went there for research. It was a mess, and I couldn't leave it like that. The information was practically inaccessible. I know I am probably the only person down there in years, but I couldn't leave it alone."
Kingsley chuckled, "I'm not here to chastise you. In fact, I want to tell you something that the government doesn't often want to admit. The truth is, no one really knows what they are doing. Many avoid taking responsibility and prefer to pass the buck instead of addressing the issues themselves." He folded his hands and leaned forward, "That is why we need you, Hermione. You are a breath of fresh air for this Ministry. Your dedication and insistence on doing things right for the people and creatures alike are exactly what this ministry needs."
Hermione felt her blush spread from her cheeks to her chest, "Thank you, Kingsley, that means a lot."
"Now, I know you are working on a few proposals that the Secretary has just laughed at, and the proposal for the school will finally be heard by the Wizengamot at the end of the month. I know you are close to obtaining your provisional solicitor license. What are your plans for the future here at the Ministry? Are you planning on staying?" Kingsley asked.
Hermione took a deep breath, "I had a ten-year plan. I'll make changes I can and aim to become the Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures by 2007. I want to revolutionize wizarding law, and eventually, I hope to become the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement- Beast or Creature divisions around 2012. Harry says I'll go for your job after that, but I don't think so."
Kingsley raised an eyebrow, impressed, "That's an ambitious plan, and I have no doubt you can achieve it. However, I need to ask. If you were offered the position of Department Head earlier than planned, would that disrupt your plans too much?"
Hermione stared at him, surprised, her heart skipping a beat, "Earlier? How much earlier?"
Kingsley leaned back in his chair, "Mark is retiring. He stated he wanted you as his replacement, and I agree. We want you to take over as the Head of the Department."
Hermione's brain raced. She paused to compose her thoughts, "It's sooner than I planned, but I believe I can handle it. I am ready to take on that responsibility when he retires. I am committed to making significant changes in the department."
Kingsley smiled, "That is exactly what I was hoping to hear. Hermione, your passion and vision are exactly what we need here. We won't announce it yet, but the position will be yours in September."
Nervousness and excitement washed over her, "Thank you, Kingsley. I won't let you down."
"I know you won't," He replied, "Now go get some rest. You have been working too hard."
Hermione stood up, "I might stop by your house if that's alright to see Teddy."
Kingsley frowned, "It's Friday, Hermione. He's at your house."
Hermione looked at him, confused, "It's Friday?"
"I am banning you from this building until Tuesday. Take Monday off and sleep in. If you even know what that means. Take the day to go see Minerva and the school. I know she said that you received a big anonymous donation last week," Kingsley said as he came around his desk.
"A LARGE donation. Nearly a million galleons. Minerva said they won't let it be known who they are either," Hermione frowned, "Who has a million galleons to just throw away?!"
"Many of the sacred families have more money in their vaults than they know what to do with. Some never had children, either. I could see them donating for those reasons," Kingsley told her as he opened his office door, "Go home. I know you will tell Harry and Ron, but no one else."
"Goodnight, Kingsley."
Coming through the floo, Ron jumped as she appeared, "Bloody Hell, Hermione, you are home before 10!"
Hermione kicked her heels off, "I'm not that bad."
"Actually, you are," Ron stated as he took in her smile, "What are you smiling about?"
"Where is Harry? I have some news," Hermione told him as she ran up the stairs and quietly went into Teddy's room, where she figured Harry was. Lightly shaking him, Harry opened his eyes, and she motioned for him to follow her.
Stretching as he climbed out of the bed, Harry followed her down the stairs and looked at Ron, "What's she so excited about?"
"No clue, mate," Ron said as Harry sat beside him.
"Kingsley pulled me into his office tonight. Stated I was working too much-"
"Obviously," Ron stated.
"Shut it, anyways. He asked me what my plans for the Ministry were, and I gave him my ten-year plan," Hermione paced, "Then he asked me if it would ruin it totally if I became Department Head four years early!" She said excitedly.
"Wait?! Mark is leaving?" Harry asked.
"Retiring, and he picked me to take over for him!" Hermione told him with a smile.
Harry got up and hugged her, "I'm so proud of you!"
"So, what does that mean?" Ron asked.
"I can make more changes and make my proposals for bills easier for the Wizengamot. It means real change for creatures. House-elves and werewolves, other creatures. I want to give them a voice," Hermione told them.
"Damn, too bad it's so late. We could go out and celebrate," Ron said as he went into the kitchen, "I think George left some Firewhiskey."
Hermione looked at Harry and saw him staring at her, "What?"
"I'm glad you are home. You've been working too hard. I know you are trying to get the school set up for the Fall in case they approve it, but you need to relax, too," Harry told her.
Hermione threw herself onto the couch, biting her lip, "I just want it ready for Teddy in the Fall. I want him to start Year 1 with a mixture of magical and muggle education. I have four Squib teachers lined up to teach Years one through four. If all goes well, we can hire for years five and six next year."
"It will all work out, Hermione," Harry assured her as Ron brought in three glasses and what was left of the Firewhiskey.
*~*~* May 3, 2003 *~*~*
Holding Teddy's hand, Hermione followed Harry, Ginny, and Ron through the crowds of travelers at King's Cross. Yesterday marked five years since the final battle at Hogwarts. Today, they were returning to their school for a remembrance ceremony. Memories and ghosts of the past hung in the air as they approached the barrier between platforms nine and 10.
Harry glanced around, making sure no one was watching too closely, and motioned for Hermione to go through first with Teddy.
Quickly walking through, Hermione smiled as she saw the familiar scarlet train before them. Harry, Ron, and Ginny came through the barrier behind her.
"Feels like just yesterday we were doing this for the first time," Ron said as he picked Teddy up and tickled his stomach, "Now, this one will be here in six years."
Hermione frowned, "Don't remind me."
Ron took her hand and squeezed it, letting go of it.
Hermione sighed as she took in the classmates she hadn't seen for years, "So much has changed, but it's good to be back."
Harry looked at Teddy, "Ready for your first ride on the Hogwarts Express, Ted?"
With his excitement, Teddy's hair nearly glowed a brighter blue, "I can't wait, Daddy!"
As they made their way to the platform, they spotted members of the DA. Neville stood talking to Luna, who looked adorable with her obvious baby bump. Ginny ran over to them, and Luna hugged her as she put her hand on Luna's stomach.
"Hey guys," Neville greeted as he saw them, "Good to see you all."
Luna beamed, "We get to return to where it all began. I thought I'd never get to take this trip again until the twins go."
"Glad to see you here for the journey, Nev," Hermione said as she hugged him.
"McGonagall told me to," Neville said as he put his arm over her shoulders.
The horn blew, warning everyone that they needed to start boarding. They quickly boarded the train, finding an empty compartment. Soon, the doors were shut, and the familiar clattering of wheels on the tracks brought back the feeling of heading to Hogwarts.
"Anything off the trolley dears?" The trolley cart witch asked as she pushed it to their compartment.
Teddy's eyes widened, taking in all the treats, "Can I have a chocolate frog? Please, please, pretty please!?"
"Of course you can, Teddy," Harry laughed as he helped Teddy order from the cart.
Together, they shared treats and stories from their past as the train flew down the picturesque countryside.
"We seem to be going faster than normal," Harry stated, looking past Hermione and out the window.
Hermione grinned, "We are, but not by much. Instead of being there at 7, we will be there at 5. Leaving at 10 helped, too."
Harry held onto a napping Teddy as Hermione stared at the Scottish Highlands beyond their window.
Around a quarter until five, the familiar sights around Hogwarts started appearing. As the train pulled into Hogsmeade Station, Harry picked up Teddy, and they disembarked onto the platform.
"Harry! Hermione! Ron! Over here!" The familiar booming voice of Hagrid yelled.
Hermione smiled as Hagrid's face split into a huge grin. He enveloped Harry and Teddy in one of his famous bone-crushing hugs, "Harry, it's good ter see yeh. Who's this?"
"This is Teddy Lupin, Hagrid," Harry said, introducing the boy, that looked up at Hagrid in awe.
"Blimey, lil Teddy? Yer growin' up fast. He looks just like he's Dad," Hagrid stated, "C'mon, go get yeh a carriage."
Walking up the familiar path to where the carriages were stationed, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna, plus Teddy, all squeezed into one carriage, "It's a little tighter than it used to," Neville stated with a smile.
Luna rubbed her growing stomach, "My fault."
Rolling through the gates of Hogwarts, Hermione's eyes misted. She had frequently met with Minerva, but going through the gates rather than Minerva's floo brought back feelings.
Everyone climbed from the carriages and walked into the school. The Great Hall was set up beautifully, with pictures of the victims and banners for all four houses hanging. A small crowd was already in chairs as Dumbledore's Army led the way for the alumni to take up the first few rows of chairs.
Professor McGonagall came up on the podium and smiled at them all before turning her serious face to address the crowd, "Welcome back to Hogwarts. Today, we honor the past and look forward to the future."
As the ceremony began, many shared stories of joy and sadness about those who were lost. Tears were shed, and some laughs were shared over memories. After the ceremony ended, Harry and Hermione took Teddy on a tour of the castle. When the crowds left the Great Hall. Hermione and Harry took him into it, "See that man there?" Harry asked Teddy, pointing to Remus's portrait.
"That's Daddy Remus," Teddy stated as he pointed at the portrait next to it, "And that's Mummy Dora."
Harry nodded, "You are right. That is your parents."
Tonks smiled down at them as Remus beamed proudly.
*~*~* May 10, 2003 *~*~*
Hermione sat in the Sydney Sussex Colleges Chapel on the other end of where she just recently was for her graduate graduation. Harry had done it. Today was his graduation day. Beside her sat her Mum, who had Teddy on her lap. He bounced excitedly as they talked to Andromeda next to them. Ron squeezed her hand, and Hermione looked at him. "He will be fine. Quit worrying," Ron assured her, "He did it. He finished university and will be able to start at the Ministry."
Kingsley looked down at their room, "The 2nd of June."
Hermione looked over at him and then back at Ron. "Yeah. I just feel so proud of him," Hermione stated.
Molly, Arthur, and George were all there to support Harry. The graduates started filing into the chapel. Nervous tension filled the air around her as she felt Harry's magic pulsing with nervousness and knew part of her tension was his.
When his name was finally called, his row applauded as he walked across the stage and accepted his diploma with a handshake from the dean. Shortly after Harry had walked across, Teddy was getting restless, so she took him outside to the grassy area so he could run around.
Harry and their family left the chapel, and Teddy ran to him. Harry walked over to her, and she hugged him, "I'm so proud of you, Harry."
"Thanks, Hermione. I couldn't have done any of it without you," Harry told her, rubbing her back.
"Are you catching the bad guys now, Dada?" Teddy asked.
Harry ruffled Teddy's hair, "Not yet, but soon."
Ginny came up next to him, wrapping her arms around him, "I'm so proud of you. You've worked so hard."
"Thank you, Gin," Harry said as he kissed her cheek.
Ginny pulled back and grinned, "We need to celebrate! Let's go to a club tonight."
Harry shook his head, "I was thinking we could have a small, simple dinner at our place. That way, it's just friends and family."
Ginny nodded, "That sounds perfect."
Later that evening, the excitement faded from the day; Molly and Arthur had gone home, and Andromeda and Kingsley had gone. Hermione stood at the front door waving to her Mum as Juliet drove off down the road.
Harry was saying goodbye to George at the floo as he and Ron left to go to the store for some late-night inventory. With the whoosh of the floor, they were gone.
Hermione was shutting the front door when she heard Ginny state, "Harry, we need to talk."
Walking to the wall next to the doorframe going into the sitting room, Hermione leaned against the wall to see what was happening.
"Sure, Gin, what is it?" Harry asked as Hermione heard the springs on the couch as they sat down.
Ginny sighed, "Harry, we've been together for a long time. I love you, and I know you love me. I've waited while you've finished your degree, and I think it's time we start thinking about our future. I want us to get engaged, and I want to move in here."
Hermione tried not to gasp as her heart started pounding. There was silence for a while, and then Harry said, "Ginny, I love you too. More than anything, graduation just happened today. Next month, I start auror training. Everything is uncertain right now. I'm not sure I am ready for a big step right now."
,
"Harry, how can you say that? We've been through so much together that none of that means shite compared to Voldemort, for Merlin's sake!" Ginny yelled, exasperated.
"Gin, calm down," Harry stated.
"How can you not be ready to take this step with me?" Ginny asked.
"It's not that I don't love you. It's just that I need time to adjust and figure out what is next," Harry told her.
"I can't believe this! I thought we were on the same page. I thought we wanted the same things," Ginny said, her voice approaching Hermione.
"Ginny, please! Try to understand," Harry pleaded, "I just need some time."
"You know what, Harry? When you figure out what you want, let me know. Until then, give me some space while you sort out and adjust. I'm out of your hair," Ginny said as Hermione heard her floo away.
Swallowing hard, Hermione moved into the doorway to see Harry sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, "Harry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but overhear."
Harry sighed as he sat back on the couch, "It's okay, Hermione. She was loud. What do I do now? I don't want to lose her, but I can't pretend we are ready for that step when I'm not. God, Hermione, I'm not even 23 yet!" Harry stated.
Hermione touched his arm, "Ginny shouldn't assume things. Relationships are about commitment, communication, and understanding each other's wants and needs. If you aren't ready, you aren't."'
Harry sighed, "What do I do now? I don't want to lose her, but I can't be what she wants."
"Sometimes being honest is the best thing you can do," Hermione stated, "You need to really sit down with Ginny and consider how to feel."
Harry looked at Hermione, "I don't want to hurt her."
Hermione stared at him and bit her lip, "Being honest is the best thing you can do. You need to consider how you really feel. It's important to be true to yourself. That is okay if you aren't ready to propose or have her move in."
Swallowing hard, Hermione wanted to scream out for him to choose her, say no to Ginny, and be with her, but she couldn't. Harry had to make that choice.
Harry sank back into the couch, "I need to sort through my thoughts and figure things out."
Hermione swallowed hard and leaned over him, kissing his forehead lightly. Harry's eyes opened, and he looked straight into hers.
"Take your time, Harry. The right decision will come to you when you are ready," Hermione told him.
*~*~* February 24, 2008 *~*~*
Hermione shook her head, "I thought that maybe he would have chosen that moment to make a move. To lean forward and kiss me. I could feel our magic singing with each other. But he didn't. I thought that I was all but screaming at him to pick me. I've learned I suck at flirting, though. People think I am just being nice instead."
A/n: Great news between my vacation last week, and having Thursday and Friday off as well for the holiday, I've gotten a lot of writing done. I'm up to mid-2005. There will be a short side story starting in around a month. On my Tumblr, I have been giving some details about it. More to be announced closer to publishing of the short story. Also quick warning, I'm not changing the rating yet but there is a SMUT WARNING for the next chapter.
Thank you for the new followers this week: Sakura Lisel, bec. , sciencegirl22 and Rori Vi!
Also thank you for the review, HudyLeak613 and chocolatedad: Gryffindor and Slytherin's were just child soldiers on opposite sides of the war. Innocent bystanders brought in for self preservation. Sad but true and not explored enough.
Preview of Chapter 27- Sparks Fly 2003 *!*!*!SMUT WARNING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER *!*!*!
Harry stood up, frustration showing on his face, "I know what I am doing, Hermione. I love Ginny, and she loves me. We've been together for years and are finally ready to take that next step. Why can't you just be happy for us?"
"Happy!?" Hermione nearly winced at her voice, "Harry, I want to be happy for you, but this is just reckless. You are talking about marriage and children like it's so simple! Have you ever considered what this means for Teddy?! You can't just make these decisions on a whim!"
Harry's face fell, "This isn't a whim, Hermione. And Ginny's not just anyone. We've been together for six years! I don't need your approval."
Hermione stepped back like he slapped her. Tears of frustration welled in her eyes as she turned sharply and stormed out of the kitchen.