I don't own these characters; Disney/ABC does.
10: Babe
Regina came home to find a card taped to her front door. Her name was written on it in Duckling's scrawl, an attempt at cursive or calligraphy of some kind. It brought a smile to Regina's face as she opened the door and stepped inside. Duckling hit her before she could fully close the door.
Regina groaned at the press of the embrace. "Why leave a card if you're home?"
Duckling pressed her face against the side of Regina's neck and breathed in deep. "I was gonna be all romantic and leave the note, but I miss being home. It's been too long."
Regina's heart thumped. "A week."
Duckling smiled. "Yeah, too long."
Regina could not fight down her own smile. "I'll make you some dinner." She missed making dinner. It was rare she made anything worthwhile when it was only her around.
"Yes, please!" Duckling squeezed her tighter.
Another groan escaped Regina, but she continued. "Anything specific?"
"Nope." Duckling nuzzled her and she melted under the affection. "As long as you make it and we can sit on the couch and everything be nice and calm for a second."
Regina was all too happy to go into the kitchen for Duckling, to return to their normal. She started up a meal, checking to see what ingredients she had. Then, she recalled the card. She retrieved it from the countertop and opened it.
It was like a normal greeting card, but more like a Valentine's Day card. It was basic, pink and white with a red heart that had a giant yellow number one in it. Inside, a simple printed message: you're number one in my heart. On the opposite side, in the blank white section, Duckling wrote something simple as well.
"Duckling, is this a dinner invitation?" Regina asked as she held up the card. Of course, she can't just ask me to dinner. She has to make it silly in some way. And, yes, it made Regina melt on the inside and her heart beat a little harder.
Duckling stepped right to the edge of the kitchen, not setting a foot inside. Adorable. "Yeah. You like it? I wanna take you to dinner." She vibrated with energy, waiting for an answer.
"Is this your way of finally asking me out on a date?" Regina gave a teasing smirk.
Duckling's grin was bright, cheerful, almost giddy. "It is. Will you go to dinner with me at The Little Mermaid?" That was the exact message she wrote on the card.
"How could I not accept such a sloppy request?" Regina waved the card around.
Duckling glared at her, but it had the same effect as a kitten glaring. "My handwriting is not sloppy!"
"It's terrible. So terrible. I could barely read this. Now, let me finish cooking. You go watch something on TV or practice your penmanship." Regina brushed her away with a flick of her wrist.
Duckling laughed, but did as she was told. Regina went back to her task, gliding through the kitchen as if she danced on air, overjoyed to have Duckling home. She was not sure the last time she had such energy, such enthusiasm. So much so you've agreed to a date. Why date? Tell her to come home. You can be together at home.
She would say something, while they ate. For now, she focused on the meal. She wanted to make something so wonderful, so delightful, so delicious that it made Duckling decide to come home. It would soothe Regina's sleepless nights, nights spent worrying over Duckling, even when they spoke on the phone. Nights spent listening for noises in the dark. Nights spent listening for a specific kitchen cabinet, someone making a sandwich, someone needing a place to stay.
Once the food was on, Regina moved to change out of her work clothes. "I'll be right back. I want to change."
"I'll be right here." Duckling patted the empty cushion next to her. "Waiting for you like a good little Duckling."
Regina smiled and kissed the side of Duckling's head. Duckling hummed from the attention and it made Regina's heart melt. She took a quick shower and put on a pair of yoga pants and a crimson camisole. Then, back downstairs.
Dinner was done. Regina served. "Simple arroz con pollo tonight." She would have gone shopping if she knew Duckling would be home. "I also made cornbread for you." It did not need to be said, the basket on the table between their plates, but she needed to say something.
Duckling licked her lips. "More than good enough for me." Duckling rubbed her hands together as she leaned toward her plate. "I found a western I think you'll like. It's old, but I saw it as a kid and it entertained me."
Regina nodded. "Thank you." She poured them some wine.
"No, thank you." Duckling dug in, shoving a square of cornbread in her mouth before starting in on her proper meal.
Regina smiled and for a long while, they existed in comfortable silence. It was like it used to be, like it should be. "Is it really necessary to go to dinner?"
Duckling looked at her with wide eyes and made a noise. "Excuse me?"
"Is it necessary for us to go on a date? To date? It's been proven I'm rather terrible at it." Her stomach dropped at the idea of Duckling discovering how awful she was. These moments would vanish. She did not want to be without Duckling ever again.
Duckling laughed. "Yeah, I ain't great at it either, but I'm willing to try with you. I think I might be able to get it right with you, so let me take you out to dinner."
"I already agreed. I just…" Regina sighed, shoulders dropping in defeat. "I want you to come home, Duckling."
"I will. I promise. I just… Please, let me do this, Regina. I have to do this."
Regina gnawed the inside of her cheek as her stomach twisted. "I'm aware." This was about proving she could be an adequate partner to Regina. Why did she not understand she was already an exceptional partner to Regina? She was exactly what Regina needed. Let her come to that understanding on her own as she improves herself. Don't let your insecurities stand in the way of her improvement.
Duckling turned to her and put a hand on her knee. "Babe—"
A frown tore its way onto Regina's face and she held up her index finger. "No, we're not doing that."
Duckling winced, but snickered. "You don't like 'babe' ? I won't even try to call you 'baby.' Might be a good way to end up decapitated. I mean, can I earn a babe?"
Regina glanced away for a moment. "I'm not a fan of pet names. They tend to come across as… demeaning." That seemed harsh to say to a person she called Duckling. Yes, it was said with love and care, but it also started as a way to humiliate.
"Yeah, I didn't think I was either, and then someone started calling me Duckling and it makes my insides go all gooey. So, eventually…" Duckling sang the last part and tapped her fingertips together.
Raising an eyebrow, Regina tilted her head as she regarded Duckling. "You truly enjoy being called Duckling?"
Duckling's eyes sparkled. "It's said with love, even though it started as a joke. I want to have something like that with you. I'll figure it out." She waved it off, like she had the power to find a term of endearment Regina would find acceptable. "But, anyway, I don't like that this is hurting you. I just need to do this."
"I know." And Regina meant it. "I keep telling you that doesn't make it hurt any less."
Duckling blew out a breath from the side of her mouth. "I know." She patted Regina's knee. "I know." And went back to eating.
How could Duckling not see this was how they were meant to be? Regina was most at ease when they were on the sofa together. She swore Duckling was the same. This was peaceful and perfect. Why change it in such a drastic manner? Stop thinking about it.
Leave her be. Let her do what she needs. Regina focused on her food to avoid being consumed by her thoughts.
After dinner, Regina grabbed dessert. Ice cream, nothing extraordinary, as she had not been expecting Duckling. Of course, Duckling was happy with that, eating every spoonful with a twinkle in her eye. After that, Duckling laid her head in Regina's lap and Regina's hand automatically went to her scalp. Duckling's eyes drifted shut.
"This is awesome," Duckling mumbled as if she was about to fall asleep.
"Of course it is," Regina replied. "It always is." So, why change it?
"Yeah." Duckling yawned. "Sorry. Haven't been sleeping good."
"You're not alone in that. I'm surprised a full room at the B&B isn't better than your nest, though."
"My nest has a lot of love in it that makes it a lot easier to fall asleep. It's never been so hard to be alone before, you know?"
Regina nodded. "Oh, believe me, I more than understand. I never had a problem being alone until you decided to leave."
"And I've never had a home and leaving here was the hardest thing ever, but I have to do it."
Regina held up her hand. "Duckling, please stop justifying yourself to me. You don't have to. If you want to go to sleep, you can go to sleep."
Duckling yawned again. "I don't want to end up sleeping here."
"Would it be so bad? It's only one night." They might both sleep better if they were under the same roof.
"It's not my place." Duckling's voice was lower now.
Regina was so tempted to let Duckling fall asleep in her lap. Afterward, she would be able to fall asleep on the couch. They could be together and manage a full night's sleep. But, in the morning, Duckling would sting and ache, not physically no. The wound would be worse, deeper, and Regina refused to do that to her precious Duckling.
"Maybe you should go back to your place. You're clearly tired and I don't want you to wait too long and risk having an accident on the way back to the B&B," Regina said. Where are these words coming from? Usually, Regina would do everything in her power to get what she wanted and she wanted Duckling to live with her, but she did not have it in her to hurt Duckling for her desires. You love her. You're quite aware of that.
"But, I'm not…" There was another yawn. "…That sleepy."
"Yes, you are. So, get going." Regina pushed Duckling up and off of her.
Duckling whined in protest in a way that made Regina's heart bleed. The sound made her regret her actions, regret not pulling Duckling back down to her, regret not taking Duckling upstairs to share her bed. But, this was the right thing to do. This was what Duckling needed. So, she helped Duckling to the door, made sure Duckling put on her seat belt in the car, and sent her off with a forehead kiss.
"Call when you arrive," Regina said.
Duckling nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
Regina did not go to bed until she got the simple text. Here. Regina should have left things at that, but she called Duckling. They talked throughout the night. Sleep did not come that night, but it was only partially because she was alone.
-8-8-8-8-
Emma was about to pace a hole in her floor as butterflies took over her stomach and chest. She would not be surprised if she hiccuped a damn butterfly. Thankfully, she had not dressed or she would have sweated through the outfit. She was not sure what to wear, though. Ruby and Mary Margaret entered the room, ready to help.
"Dude, you're going to sweat your hair out!" Ruby huffed.
Great, another thing to worry about! She had gotten her hair done for this date and now it was probably ruined. "I can't stop! What if I screw this up? It's already bad enough I moved out, even though she told me repeatedly how much it hurt her! But, if I can't pull off dating her right after all of this, it's for nothing! I hurt her for nothing. She might not let me back in the house!" The idea of losing her home made it almost impossible to breathe.
Mary Margaret grabbed Emma into a hug, trying to calm her down. "It'll be okay, Emma. You've planned an awesome date and we have two amazing outfits for you."
Emma shook in Mary Margaret's arms, the pressure against her only making the butterflies in her chest act up, fluttering against her ribs as if in mortal combat with her bones. Stop being nervous. You can do this.
"This has to be perfect," Emma said.
Mary Margaret rubbed her back. "It doesn't have to be perfect. Regina loves you because of who you are."
"And you ain't perfect," Ruby said.
"And neither is Regina," Mary Margaret added, like that was important to note. "You have to get that thought out of your mind, Emma. I know you're in love with her, but she's not perfect and she doesn't need you to be perfect. She needs you to be you, just like you need her to be her."
Emma sighed. "But, the her she is with me is perfect." She would never be able to match that, no matter how hard she tried. Why the hell did I ever think this was a half-decent idea?
"No, perfect for you." Ruby held up her index finger. "Like you're perfect for her. Neither of you is perfect, though. She's already accepted you. Just be yourself," she replied. "Now, dress or suit."
Mary Margaret released Emma and picked up the garment bag she brought over. Ruby held up the clothes she picked out and Mary Margaret held up the clothes she thought Emma should wear. Ruby had the suit and M&M had the dress.
"I know you like the red dress, so I saved it for you from Killian's house," Mary Margaret said.
Emma breathed a sigh and smiled. "Thank you so much for that. I don't know which one to go with. She's never seen me dressed up."
"You look hot in the dress," Ruby said.
Mary Margaret rubbed her chin. "But, also quite dashing in a suit."
"You're not helping!" Emma threw her hands up. She was not sure which one to pick and they made each one seem all right.
"You know what, let's do dress. You've got these lovely curls in and whatnot." Ruby flicked Emma's hair. She had gotten her hair done earlier, curls she might sweat out if she did not calm down. "Plus, I think she's got it in her head that you're kind of a tomboy. She'll be shocked as hell to see you in the dress. Best of all, it shows off your guns."
Mary Margaret nodded. "Oh, excellent point."
So, that was decided. Emma went into the bathroom and put on the dress. Looking down at the dress, she was not sure how to feel. The dress tended to make her feel good about herself, and empowered. It not only fit her perfectly, but the dress showcased her. It turned her into a work of art, but she was not sure if Regina would like it.
Regina was used to seeing her dress a certain way. It was possible she would not care for a more femme look. No, stop thinking like this or you're going to drive yourself crazy. She stepped back out and her friends whistled. Emma sighed.
"Looks okay, right?" Emma looked down at herself. She was certain she looked hot. Good enough for Regina to peel this dress off of her?
Ruby gave her a thumbs-up with both hands. "You look freaking amazing, kid. Now, let's put some makeup on you and a little perfume, you little lady killer."
"You're lying it on thick," Emma said.
"She is not. You're beautiful," Mary Margaret replied.
"Are you picking her up or is she meeting you there?" Ruby asked as Mary Margaret directed Emma to sit down.
"She's meeting me there. She kinda refuses to get in my car for some reason," Emma said.
Ruby laughed. "I wonder why." She tapped her chin as her brow wrinkled. "Didn't the engine fall out of it once?"
"She doesn't know that. It happened way before I got to her. She's just a coward about my awesome car that I fixed on my own," Emma said, pointing to herself with her thumb.
"Yeah, I'm sure that's it." Ruby rolled her eyes. "Fixing it on your own probably does have something to do with it, though."
"I fixed that car good."
"You keep telling yourself that."
"Hey, let's focus," Mary Margaret said.
Emma and Ruby glanced away for a second before they got to work. Emma was silent as they did her makeup. The organs in her torso ground against each other, churning her insides, making her fear she might throw up. She took a lot of deep breaths to find her courage and ease her nerves. This was a date with Regina. She spent so much time with Regina over the past few months, this should be easy. She knew Regina so well. Right?
Well, she would find out. Her friends sent her off with slaps on the back and words of encouragement. Pulling up to the restaurant, she was not sure if she should let the valet park her car. Would she be laughed out of the place before she even went in? If she did not use the valet, though, she had to find a parking spot and have to march to the restaurant in her heels. That settled it.
The valet arched an eyebrow at the Bug, like he did not know what it was, but did not say anything. Emma's stomach fluttered as she walked into the restaurant. The place was lit in a light aqua, almost like they were under the sea. It made sense for a seafood restaurant and a place that offered an exclusive, beach picnic thing.
"Uh… hi," Emma said to the desk, where three people in teal blazers sat. They all turned to her. "I've got a reservation for two under Emma Swan. Just wondering if the other person came."
The woman closest to her glanced at a computer screen. "No, you're the first here. You can wait at the bar…" She paused. "Oh, wait, I see you have one of the outside sittings. You can be seated if you want."
Emma's heartbeat sped up. It should be a simple decision, but maybe she should go to the… table? She was not sure if it was a table outside. She was not sure what the setup was for outside and she was not sure if she should be surprised by it or not.
"I'll wait at the bar," Emma said. She wanted to be there when Regina arrived and walk out with Regina. Maybe they would be surprised together.
There was a nod and Emma went to the bar. She had a drink, needing to soothe her nerves. Whiskey tended to do that. When the burning liquid hit her roiling stomach, there was a turn and her drink almost came back up. But, then things settled and she exhaled. Everything's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. This date would go fine.
I know Regina. I know how to treat her properly… right? Did she know that? She was very skilled at being pitiful around Regina. It would not work on a date. No, stop worrying. Everything's gonna be fine.
Then, she spotted Regina. It was impossible to miss Regina. She strode in like she owned the place, like some sort of all-powerful deity. She had on a suit, but not one Emma was familiar with. The black pants hugged Regina's hips and ass like a second skin. The black jacket was longer than her usual suit jacket and flared at the waist. There was a blood-red vest with black trim on top of a black shirt with way too many buttons undone. Emma swallowed hard.
"Wish I had time for another drink," Emma muttered as she rose to her feet as Regina turned to the bar.
The way Regina's face lit up for a moment worked much better than any drink ever could. Less than a second later, Regina's body went taut. Was she nervous as well? That did not make Emma less anxious.
"Duckling," Regina said as Emma stood before her. Then, Regina blinked and her face tensed. "Do you want me to call you Emma tonight?"
Emma had not thought about it. "Uh…" She did not have a chance to make a decision.
The woman at the desk gave them a subtle wave. "We can seat you two," she said. "Follow Scuttle." She motioned to a man in a white suit.
Emma motioned for Regina to go. Regina's face twitched, but then she moved. Emma swallowed again. Was that not the right move? What was she supposed to do? Shit, follow her, idiot!
She fell in step with Regina. Her hand went up, ready to touch the small of Regina's back, but a glance from Regina stopped her. Her heart rate spiked as she yanked her hand back. Okay, should I not touch? What the hell are the rules?!
Scuttle led them outside, onto the warm beach sand, even though it was fall. It was the perfect night to eat outside, more like a late summer day than an autumn night. They were led to a small sitting area, shrouded by thin white curtains. Scuttle opened the curtain to reveal a small table with two white chairs. There were candles all around with rose petals sprinkled about the tiny space.
"Please, sit. Your waiter will be out in a moment," Scuttle informed them.
Emma pulled out Regina's chair and held her breath for a moment. What if Regina glared at her again? That did not happen and she let out a light sigh. She rushed to her seat so close to Regina it was impossible to say if she was across or right next to her.
The sound of the slight ocean waves hissed, almost mocking as Emma and Regina looked everywhere but at each other. Emma resisted the urge to pick up the menu or check the drink list. This shouldn't be this nerve-wracking or fucking hard.
"So… this is cool, huh?" Emma flashed a grin that hurt her face.
Regina sniffed. "It is."
Emma's heart was ready to burst. "You've done this before, haven't you?"
"I have. It's a sweet gesture," Regina said, but she sounded bored or unimpressed.
Emma gnawed the corner of her lower lip for a moment. Well, this already felt like a failure. Damn it, of course, one of her rich partners did this already! Stupid.
There had to be a way to recover. She needed to think of something clever or charming to say. "So… um… maybe you could recommend something I'd like."
Regina arched an eyebrow. "You eat pretty much anything. I'm sure you'll be fine with whatever you order." She was not snappy, but there still seemed to be something more to her tone.
Emma frowned. "Do you not want to be here?"
"I'm fine with being here. I'm just not sure what to recommend because you do eat anything. The menu here is beyond adequate, so I assume you'll like whatever you order. I'm not sure I approve of your choice in restaurants considering I'm aware of how much this costs and I can speculate how much you make."
Okay, so she thinks I'm being irresponsible. "I wanted to show you that you're special and important to me."
"I already knew that," Regina replied, somewhat sharp, or the tone might have been in Emma's mind.
"Oh." Emma did not mean to say that aloud. She needed to recover. "I wanted to treat you."
"You have many times before this."
Emma held in a frustrated growl. Regina was not making this easy. Emma took a deep breath and looked back into the restaurant. How many first dates were happening in there? Were those dates going better than hers? She hoped so. Gotta do something to save this.
Emma did not have a chance to save anything. The waiter showed up. He poured them some water, took their drink orders, and vanished back into the restaurant. They sat in silence. The ocean waves meeting the shore did not cover the tense quiet.
This was far from the first time Emma and Regina did not say anything to each other. It was just that they usually were on Regina's sofa, watching something or simply enjoying each other's presence. This was weird. Emma wanted to leave, flee really. This was my damn idea. Why the hell would I want to leave?
Emma's stomach balled itself up. How was this going so bad so fast? She had to do something! But, she froze. She was like a deer in headlights, and somehow this date would be the truck to mow her down.
-8-8-8-8-
Regina's heart broke as Duckling crumbled right before her eyes. Regina was not sure how to recover this. I might not have to. It was possible Duckling needed to see they did not have to do this a specific way, only the way that worked for them.
"Duckling, it's all right," Regina said as gently as she could.
Duckling shook her head. "You hate this."
Regina would not deny it. "This isn't having the effect you want, no."
The tight, hard scowl on Duckling's face looked out of place. "Because you've done it before? You could afford it yourself? Or because you think I suck?"
Regina rubbed her palms together to help keep herself calm. "Well, I don't think you suck, but the main reason it's not having the desired effect is because you already make me feel special, loved, and cared for without this date. You didn't have to put this sort of pressure on yourself." Why do I have to keep saying this?
Duckling blinked and sniffled. "But, this is to treat you."
Regina reached for Duckling's hand and held it tight. "You already treat me. Every time you find a show I want to watch is a treat. Every time you lay your head in my lap is a treat. Every time you're Duckling for me is a treat."
Duckling's face scrunched up. "Huh?"
"Would you be Duckling for anyone else?" Regina asked, stroking Duckling's hand with her thumb.
"No, but this doesn't count. It started as a gag."
"Is it still a gag?"
"No, but…" Duckling gritted her teeth. "It's not a treat. It's just me being dumb. I dunno."
Regina squeezed her hand. "While you are an idiot, this is so much more than what you appear to think it is. I still remember the prideful waif of a girl who stood before me in defiance as she was caught breaking into my home. Somehow, that girl trusted me enough to save her from a storm, even though she had caring friends. That same girl chose to stay with me as my pet, trusted me to not abuse that power, and trusted me to take care of her. Emma, that's more than a treat."
Duckling gasped, eyes the size of plates, like she did not understand what her being Regina's pet meant. "You really think it's such a big deal?"
"I understand how massive it was for you to trust me. No date will ever be a bigger treat."
Emma sniffled again, wiping her eyes with her free hand. "So, all of this is pointless? It'll always be pointless?"
Regina shook her head. "I'm not saying that. I'm saying you don't have to drive yourself crazy to make me feel special. You already do."
Duckling only withered more for some reason. "You deserve the world, Regina."
Regina gave Duckling's hand a little yank. "And you offer that. Why do you think our relationship has to look like everyone else's?"
Duckling's forehead wrinkled, eyes squinting. "What?"
"You have this idea in your head that you and we have to do things a certain way, be a certain way. That's why you keep glancing inside the restaurant. You want us to be like them. You want us to be like those couples."
"Well, yeah."
"But, we're not like those couples. Oh, we have been in relationships like those couples, but we're not like them. We didn't work in relationships like those. We work as us."
A tear fell from Duckling's eye. "But, I want to be your partner."
Regina got up and sat in Duckling's lap. She wiped away the tear and cupped Duckling's face with both hands. Duckling stared at her with wet eyes and she rubbed their noses together. A twinkle lit up Duckling's eyes.
"You are. You are a partner who understands the way I show love and you don't take advantage of it. I want to pamper you and you allow it, even though it goes against your nature. It's a gift to me. You're a gift to me and I'm unsure of what else to say to get you to understand that. Yes, you can treat me if you want to. Yes, you can pamper me whenever you want to. But, you don't have to put this much pressure on yourself to do it. You don't have to drive yourself crazy to do it."
Duckling nodded. "I think… I have to learn how to be your partner and pet at the same time."
"Sweet girl, you already are. You don't have to learn anything."
Duckling frowned. "How can it be this easy?"
"Because you're used to it now. Was it easy in the beginning?"
Duckling sighed. "No. Hell, no really."
"That's growth because it wasn't easy for me either. We cut our teeth in the living room rather than through dating. Yes, we can go on dates, but they won't make or break us. One date won't determine the fate of our universe. It should only be us, having fun and enjoying each other's company, like at home."
"Home," Duckling said the word with longing, breathing it out like a low prayer. "Did I leave home for nothing then?"
"No, you did it to grow and learn, which I'm sure you've done. You can come home at any time."
"But, you want now."
"Of course, I want now, but I also want you to do what's best for you. If you find you still need to make your way in the world, I still support you. Yes, I'll always want you home but more than that, I want you happy."
"I want you happy, too."
"Then, come home." Regina gave her a small kiss on the lips. "Come back to me."
Duckling stared at her, but did not answer. This torment might continue. Life was cruel.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: Emma still wants to get something out of leaving.