Description: Arram takes on a new name whilst beginning to instruct Daine in her magic.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Everything belongs to Tamora Pierce.

Author's Note: After 18 chapters of accidentally writing Numair instead of Arram, now I'm going the other way and writing Arram instead of Numair! Please let me know if you spot any typos. The problem is he still feels like Arram to me and not the Numair we're used to seeing.

Chapter 18

The blade sliced neatly, drawing a thin line of blood before Daine felt the spell release her and she jumped away in horror. "I'm sorry! I never meant –"

"I know you didn't. I was the one in control remember." The mage stood, removing the strand from his finger muttering something before turning his back to her and tossing the strand into the flames, staring once more.

"That was..." Daine realised she didn't have any words to describe just how powerless she'd felt. It was her body but, in that moment, she hadn't been able to stop herself from pressing the blade into Arram's throat any more than she could her own. That was what he'd meant when Arram kept telling her he wouldn't hurt her of his own doing. The emperor could force him to do anything and all he'd be able to do was watch: a prisoner in his own body. "How'd you stop from killing me when the emperor ordered you to?"

"I stabbed myself with the tooth your badger gifted me." Arram held up his left wrist where a fine white scar was etched onto the dark skin. "It erased Ozorne's command from my mind."

"Did you know it would do that?" she looked up at him: so lost and vulnerable, as if even the slightest breeze would cause him to crumble.

"Honestly, I had hoped the pain would give me a moment of clarity or the animal god himself would appear and stop me. I didn't expect it to remove the command."

The trickle of blood had made its way down the mage's neck and was now staining the collar of his shirt. Daine looked around for something to use to clean off the blood, spotting a nearby table covering. Sliding it out from under the vase, she folded the flimsy bit of cloth neatly before moving to stand in front of Arram. This close the young woman could see the pain etched across his features as she carefully wiped away the blood.

"It's a wonder the emperor never broke you." Daine kept her voice soft, needing to say something while she treated his wound.

"He did," Arram whispered, taking charge of the cloth, and applying pressure to the cut, not meeting her eyes once. "There are several years I don't remember… It's just a haze of pain and parties – being shown off as the emperor's prized possession."

"Then how'd you ever resist him again?" the young woman asked, watching him closely.

"Lindhall," the mage answered simply, voice barely above a whisper. "He brought me with him when he freed a family of slaves: a brother and sister. I discovered there were things I could do as a slave – listening to conversations, making use of the tunnels, contact with the others like me. Helping them restored a part of my soul."

He removed the cloth from his neck to stare at the blood, almost confused as to how it got there. Daine took it from him quickly and threw it into the fire, considering what he'd just told her about blood magic.

"I couldn't kill him…" Arram finally looked down, an unspoken apology in his dark eyes. "Ozorne. When you showed up and killed Tristan – even after everything he's done to me, everything he's taken from me… I couldn't kill him." The mage squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered. "I know it doesn't make any sense. I should want him dead for what he made me do to Siraj, for the torture, the punishments… I should want to kill Ozorne. I was so sure I could…"

Daine took his hand, squeezing it in support. His eyes flew open at the contact, and for a moment, she thought Arram might pull away, but he looked at their joined hands in amazement before squeezing hers gently in return.

"Does it make me weak?" he whispered. "That I don't want to be a killer?"

Daine tightened her grip on his hand. "I think it makes you a good person. Not all of us can say the same."

The mage swallowed, soulful brown eyes seeing too much. "You?"

She hunched her shoulders and avoided that penetrating gaze. "I hunted down the bandits who killed my Ma and Grandda and ripped their throats out."

"Did it give you peace?"

"Not really." Daine hated talking about that time. Hated the memories it brought back. "I was half-mad and running on all fours with my wolf-brothers. I only remembered just enough to let the women go they'd taken from the village."

A large hand cupped her cheek, forcing the young woman to look at him. "That makes you a good person."

"I'd never have freed 'em if we weren't there to hunt the rest," she admitted, not really wanting to discuss her past with him. Not now.

Whatever Arram had been about to say was cut off when a page entered to escort the mage to his quarters.

Opening the heavy wooden door Arram entered his rooms, plural not singular. He'd been granted more than one. There was a central room with a small fireplace, desk and two comfortable chairs. Through an oak door was the bedroom with a very soft bed covered in thick blankets, a nightstand, and a wardrobe. The biggest shock was on discovering a separate bathroom attached to the main room with his own privy, wash basin and tub. In every room there was a window letting in cool fresh air with a view of either the forest or the courtyard. Arram swallowed around the lump in his throat running his fingers over the wood, the stone and fabric of the chairs. He couldn't remember what it was like to have expensive furnishings or a view from an open window.

"If you don't like 'em, I'm sure the queen could get you something better," Daine hovered in the central room watching him.

The mage shook his head. "It's wonderful…"

"Then what's with the face?" she asked, worried.

"I think it just dawned on me – I'm free…" he managed to form his mouth into a smile to assuage her confusion. "I do believe I will make one small change though."

Arram re-entered the bedroom with Daine following and lay down on the bed. As expected, it was too small for someone of his height.

"How far do my feet hang out?" he asked wiggling them.

"Umm... a good four or five inches I should think," the young woman frowned.

The mage hopped off the bed, giving her his best boyish grin. "That is something I can fix."

Rubbing his hands together, Arram sent out his black sparkling Gift to surround the bedframe and the mattress. The bed creaked and groaned before slowly beginning to stretch and lengthen. Ending the spell, the mage flopped back onto the bed stretching out to his full length. "Much better. I have no idea when a bed last fit me," he chuckled.

Daine perched on the edge and returned the smile. "Did you cast that spell on yourself when you were a boy?"

Arram lifted a hand to tweak her nose. "When I started school, I was one of the smallest in my class, if you can believe it, then I just couldn't stop growing. It was a nightmare always having to get new clothes."

The mage settled back to rest his head on the plush feathered pillows. If he remembered how to sleep in such comfort, he wouldn't leave the bed for at least a week.

"Have you thought of a name yet?" she asked, watching him.

Arram tucked an arm beneath his head and stared up at the ceiling while he considered. "I had a lot of terrible ideas in my boyhood. I think one of my worst was Arram Blackfire." The mage looked over to see Daine attempting to smother her giggles behind a hand. "A name like that would most assuredly put a target on my back if anyone were to associate the name and the colour of my Gift. Any ideas?" he asked hopefully.

She shook her head, grinning. "I'm not sure you can name someone else. I think that's something you're s'posed to do your own self."

Arram smiled, letting his mind drift. "I did consider Numair many years ago. It's a type of Zallaran big cat, black in colour and revered for its power. The symbolism appealed to me when I was young and stupid. Now I'm not so sure. What do you think?"

Daine mulled it over. "Numair. I like it. What about a last name?"

The mage huffed out a sigh. "I'll sleep on it." He suddenly became very aware of how late the time was and that he had a young woman in his rooms, in his bedchamber no less, alone. "We should both get some rest."

Arram escorted her out, standing at the threshold while he bid the young woman goodnight. The friendly smile Daine flashed him only intensified his desire to kiss her which he firmly buried in the vestiges of his mind. This evening had felt like a step in the right direction towards mending the friendship he had so resolutely destroyed which was infinitely better than giving into petty, deplorable urges.

For the first week of his new life in Corus, Numair Salmalín, as he resolved to be known, spent much of his time being interrogated by Myles of Olau and Harailt of Aili. The name might take some getting used to, but he was pleased with it even if Daine thought it sounded a bit 'fanciful'. The Tortallans wanted the details of his life thus far and of Carthak's destruction while the Dean of the Mage's College was eager for Arram – Numair – to share everything he knew about focusses and magical protections. The mage was a little shocked when he was granted permission to work with the college mages in helping to devise a way to block the focus. It had been far too long since he'd had a working to set his mind to and he relished the opportunity. Numair only saw Daine in the evenings that week for meditation, but the mage was determined to continue her training at the earliest possible convenience.

On his first free morning, Numair exited his rooms in search of the library. The palace library wasn't as big as the mage had hoped for, but he was informed by numerous staff members that the college library might be more to his taste if he was specifically interested in arcane texts. After several hours making an initial selection, Numair dropped off the books in his room before heading out in the direction of the stables after receiving directions. Daine would be working but the mage realised he needed to speak with the horsemistress to work out a schedule of when he could instruct his student without interfering with her duties.

Following the road down from the palace, Numair found a meadow full of ponies of assorted colours and breeds grazing peacefully. Beside the meadow were two long wooden buildings, one was the stables and the other was a two-story barracks where he assumed the illustrious Queen's Riders stayed with a banner depicting a red horse rearing on a golden-brown field flying on a tall flagpole.

The mage poked his head into the stables, unsure of his welcome or where exactly he was allowed to go. No one had stopped any of his explorations so far which seemed very odd. Numair had expected to be trailed around by armed guards, restricted and contained to his rooms or the palace, but that hadn't been the case. A dark-skinned K'miri was forking fresh hay into the end stall while Daine was shovelling horse manure into a bucket from the stall opposite. Both were so intent on their chores that neither noticed the mage who stopped and stared dumbfounded at the woman before him. He hadn't noticed on their first encounter but the K'miri's aura glowed red interwoven with veins of copper fire. It was only a trace amount of wild magic, nothing as powerful as Daine or even the Banjiku, but how did she possess both wild magic and the Gift? Numair had been led to believe a person could only have one or the other.

"Can I help you?" Grey-green eyes studied him as she readied the pitchfork in her hand more like a weapon.

"Forgive the intrusion," the mage stammered. "My name is – Numair Salmalín."

The K'miri relaxed, resting on the fork to look over towards Daine. "So, your new teacher finally decides to grace us with his presence. What can we do for you, Master Mage?"

Numair blushed under his tan. "I-I thought it would be prudent to speak with you about Daine's schedule."

"I heard you're planning to steal away my assistant," the horsemistress gave him a hard stare.

The mage looked worried until Daine shot him a reassuring smile. "She's just teasing. Onua don't mind really."

"Not if it makes you an even better assistant," the K'miri agreed with a wink.

"I would like to instruct Daine properly with regular lessons but I'm aware she has other commitments. When might be the best time to borrow her?" Numair requested politely.

"Now's a pretty good time if you don't mind her covered in muck and horsehair," the horsemistress chuckled.

The mage smiled fondly at his student. "Not at all. Would this time be convenient every day?"

"We get the ponies into the meadow every morning for a run while we muck out the stalls and refill the food troughs. After that it's fairly easy going until evening time when we get them back inside the stables. After midday meal is prob'ly the best time," Daine agreed.

"If that's settled, I'll see you later, Daine," the K'miri waved her away, returning to her task.

The young woman put down the shovel and waved to her friend before following Numair back to his rooms. Kitten and Zek were nowhere in sight but apparently this wasn't unusual behaviour for the dragonet. The mage wondered if Daine would be willing to study with him again after the evening meal once all the horses were safely stabled. His preference was to combine practical learning with structured theory but for today, Numair was excited to show Daine the books he'd found in the library and gauge her reaction on the prospect of book learning. Someone had taught her to read, of that he was aware, but not everyone possessed the same enthusiasm he did for books.

"Have you eaten today?" she asked as they crossed the courtyard.

"Of course." This wasn't the first time Daine had worried about his eating habits. Numair was fully aware how thin he was, but the mage didn't think it warranted this level of concern.

"You've not been coming down for meals." The young woman eyed him critically.

He avoided her gaze, bashful. "Eating at a table with others is not something I've done in a very long time."

Daine chewed on her lower lip while she thought this over. "We could start small," she suggested. "You could bring food out to the meadow and eat with me an' Onua an' Stefan. Stefan's not much for two-legger company either."

"Onua, Stefan and me," Numair corrected automatically. "I'll think about it."

The young woman scowled at the correction of her grammar "If we ate together, I could come up after for lessons."

Daine was pushing but the mage found he didn't mind. It wasn't the best of ideas for him to become reclusive. He'd had so few friends in his boyhood, and those friends had all betrayed him. It was difficult to make himself trust another human being, but Lindhall had remained true, and Daine had put herself at significant risk for him. If she assured him there were good people in Corus, then perhaps Numair could place his trust in her opinions for now and let his student guide him back to society.

Entering his rooms, the young woman went immediately to the desk to inspect the books piled there. "Did you take out half the books in the library?" she laughed, peering closer to look at some of the titles. "A Concept of the Physical Self and the Tangible Aspects of Self, The Employment of Blood Magic in Form, Variation and Manipulation," Daine scowled back at him, and the mage merely shrugged in response. "Altering the Inherited Traits of Antigens: A Case Study of Acute Me – Mia – My…"

"Myeloid Leukaemia in Eidan Shanu. Just a few titles," he chuckled. All of those were various avenues of study in how to remove his connection to the focus. "Of all the freedoms that were taken from me, reading was the one I resented the most." Numair stroked his fingers reverently over the topmost leather cover. "I was allowed the occasional book to read for good behaviour, but I was otherwise forbidden access to the University library."

"Why?"

"Ozorne feared I would uncover an arcane tome that I could use to orchestrate an escape," he explained. "I owned a total of eleven books in my room, all of them mundane. There was a book on bird species, an astronomy book, and several books about ancient cultures. By far the cruellest of those was a gift from Ozorne filled with maps and charts. He knew of my desire to travel and see more of the world. I believe his exact words were 'As you shall never leave my side, we thought you would like to see some of these places. You always preferred to learn everything from a book than to experience it for yourself.'" His former friend had always known the perfect ways to hurt him.

Daine bumped her arm against his gently drawing a small smile. "We didn't have many books at home. The one's Ma had were all about medicines, plants, and healing. She taught me to read but I never found much time for it. Always too busy with the animals or chores or helping with Grandda."

The mage noticed the wistful expression on her face and handed her the first book from her pile. "You might want to start with this one."

"Mammalian Anatomy," she read, opening the book, and gasping in appreciation. "Oh, glory!" The book contained detailed drawings of the inner workings of animals which the young woman traced lightly with a finger.

"If you're to learn healing then we should start with your knowledge on how animals are put together," Numair smiled.

There was so much desire and longing in those blue-grey eyes, the mage was delighted that he could share his love of books with her. He somehow suspected she wouldn't enjoy studying dissected animals or performing any dissections herself.

They spent the afternoon together sat at his desk working through the first chapter. Daine already had a good understanding of bone structure and musculature, all she lacked were the technical terms and how some of the parts functioned as a whole. His Wildmage was the perfect student: inquisitive, smart, and able to absorb a great deal of information in one go. Numair finally called it a day when she began to yawn widely.

"Would you like to take any of the books with you to read tonight?" he offered, tidying away the notes they'd made.

The young woman gaped at the stack of books. "You want me to read all those?"

The mage beamed. "In time, yes. That's your pile," he pointed to the smaller stack. "These are for me," he patted the pile which contained twice as many books.

Numair saw her reach for a book before she snatched her hand away looking sad. "They'd prob'ly best stay here. My friends will just ruin 'em when they visit tonight."

"That's easily solved. Which one would you like to take with you?" he asked.

Daine instantly held up the anatomy book. Taking it carefully, the mage muttered several spells over the book before handing it back to his student.

"There. I've spelled it against dirt and tearing," he explained.

For a moment Numair thought Daine might hug him but she clutched the book tight to her chest instead. "Thank you!"

The mage smiled happily, returning to organise the desk when he felt lips touch his cheek. Numair blushed instantly, turning to watch Daine skip out his door, giving him a cheerful wave. His hand went to the place she'd kissed him, wishing that simple show of affection hadn't gone straight to his heart.