Well... It was still the sixth where I'm at when I went to upload this... apologies, took a lot longer to get a moment away than I thought. Hope you enjoy!

KEEPING SECRETS, CHAPTER 3- DESPAIR

Igneel soared after the bird lady through the sky as Natsu sat on his back, enjoying the wind whipping around him and through his hair. No matter how many times he had ridden on Igneel's back, he never got tired of flying.

Eventually, Natsu made out a speck in the sky and it continued to get larger. His eyes lit up and a big smile formed on his face as he realized it was Zeref's big floating house. As they landed, Natsu couldn't help but call out as he saw Zeref himself walking toward him. He slid off Igneel's back and as much as he wanted to run and give his sad looking big brother a hug, he remembered what Igneel said about his curse and stopped a healthy distance away, yelling and waving at Zeref. Zeref stopped and waved. "Hey Natsu. Wow," Zeref wiped tears away from his eyes, black mist swirling about again. "You've grown so much. You might be taller than me soon."

Natsu hadn't even noticed that Zeref didn't seem as big anymore. He smiled. "Igneel's been teaching me so much! Watch!" He lit a massive flame in his hand.

Zeref's eyes widened but he smiled again. "That's amazing Natsu. It took me almost a decade to be able to make flames that big. You've done it in just a few years."

"And those are, by the way, flames of his own magic energy. Not dragon flames, just to put any fears out of your mind, old friend." Igneel approached Zeref, smiling.

Zeref smiled back. "I trust my brother hasn't put you through too much, Igneel?"

"Heavens no! It's been quite nice going on adventures together. It's almost like..." Igneel trailed off, looking down at Natsu. Natsu didn't get why he looked like he was about to cry. "He's another son to me." Igneel finally got out, voice heavy with emotion.

Zeref's smile got wider, but before he could say anything he was interrupted. "Wow, I never realized the great fire dragon king was such a softie."

Natsu looked up and saw another massive dragon landing on Zeref's house's flying cube. This one was gray and almost looked like he was wearing armor. His head was a lot smaller than Igneel's too. "Hmpf. If it isn't Metalicana. Can't say I'm thrilled seeing you again but it makes sense, given the circumstances." Igneel said, sounding very annoyed.

"Come now, Iggy, don't be like that. These are desperate times- us of like mind need to stick together." Several more dragons had landed on Zeref's flying house now. The first one that spoke was so white it almost looked like he was glowing. His eyes were a pure golden color, and surprisingly, he even had white hair that stood straight up and a long, thin beard under his snout.

"I don't disagree, friend, but you can hardly blame Igneel for his attitude towards Metalicana. He's not the most pleasant fellow to be around." This other dragon Natsu barely noticed showing up. If the white dragon was so white he was almost glowing, this dragon was so dark he nearly appeared as a shadow. Natsu might have mistaken him for one if he didn't see his pure red eyes. It looked like he had hair and a beard similar to the white one, but was that actually hair or just shadows?

"Bah, insulting me right to my face as a greeting. And they say I'm rude." Metalicana grumbled at the two new dragons that had arrived.

"Well, not even a minute all in the same place and everyone's grumbling. Why am I not surprised?" said one more dragon who approached. "You all bicker like a bunch of old serpents, I swear." This last dragon didn't fit Natsu's mental image of a dragon, her features appearing more bird-like, even having talons and her scales resembling feathers.

"Weisslogia, Skadrium, Grandeeny! My friends, it has been too long." Igneel happily greeted all the dragons other than Metalicana, who grunted in disapproval.

"So what is this 'brilliant' plan of yours Zeref?" Metalicana asked the black mage. "What could you have come up with that none of us have been able to think of before?"

"You might be surprised, great iron dragon." A new voice entered. Turning in its direction, Natsu saw a young woman with long blonde hair tied in a ponytail and large dark brown eyes walking toward them. "Zeref wasn't my father's favorite student for nothing."

"This is Anna Heartfilia, an accomplished celestial spirit mage. Her father was one of my favorite instructors at the Mildian Magic Academy before my... accident. Which he survived, thankfully."

Anna nodded. "Listening to dad talk about some of Zeref's spells and theories got me thinking about ways we could outplay Acnologia. I'll admit, the plan he and I have created is not without its risks. However, I cannot see another way we can rid the world of this menace. He has even begun attacking human cities now. No one is safe from his rampage. But..." Anna trailed off as she saw two little onyx eyes peering out from under Igneel.

"Zeref... is that your…?"

"Yes it is. Come out, Natsu. It's alright. Anna is very nice." Zeref smiled at his brother, still hiding under the dragon.

Natsu slowly made his way out and towards Anna. She smiled at him. "Hi Natsu. I've heard a lot about you." She hesitated, then smiling widening with a playful look in her eyes, she asked, "Do you want to help us save the world?"

Natsu's eyes widened and then his mouth broke out into a huge grin. "Yeah I do!"

Anna and Zeref talked with the dragons a bit more about boring stuff, they assured him, while Natsu showed some of Zeref's etherious fire magic Igneel taught him. He even lit that really loud and annoying one's, Jackal he thought his name was, hair on fire.

When Igneel came back over, he looked down at Natsu with his own grin. "Natsu. Even as a young boy you likely surpass most human mages in terms of raw skills with your fire magic." Igneel smirked, and then asked, "How would you like to be able to surpass a dragon?"

Natsu grinned and jumped up in excitement. "Oh yeah! I'm all fired up now!"

Igneel was gonna teach Natsu to be a dragon slayer. When Natsu said he didn't want to kill dragons, Igneel said to save the world he needed Natsu's help to kill one dragon in particular, Acnologia, who Igneel called a "blight upon the world". When he asked Igneel about what he said before about humans not learning dragon slaying magic, the dragon smiled sadly. "Don't worry little one. Anna and your brother have come up with a way you can learn safely. When we are done, you-" he pointed at Natsu's chest, "will be the next fire dragon king!"

Natsu found out over the course of the next few months he wasn't going to be the only dragon slayer. The other dragons were going to train students of their own, and they, along with Anna and Zeref, would destroy Acnologia together.

Zeref and Anna would both bring two new kids each for the other dragons to train, found in the ruins of towns Acnologia destroyed, having lost everything to the whims of a monster, just as Zeref and Natsu did long ago.

The two orphans Zeref found couldn't be anymore different. The first one was a boy close to Natsu's age named Gajeel Redfox, who Metallicana took in. Natsu thought they were two peas in a pod, with Gajeel's personality closely resembling the grumpy iron dragon. Natsu didn't like him and they fought a lot.

The other kid was barely alive when Zeref brought her in, but Grandeeny healed her and took her as her student. She was just a little girl, who said her name was Wendy Marvell. At least that's what Natsu thought she said her name was. She was really shy and talked really quietly. The only time she'd get loud was when he and Gajeel would punch each other and use magic, and then she'd cry and yell for them to stop. Yep, Zeref hand picked her alright. Natsu thought.

The two that Anna brought back were alright, but they were just little kids. Like as young as Wendy or maybe younger. One had light blonde hair and his name was Sting Eucliffe. The other had jet black hair and said his name was Rogue Cheney. Natsu thought it was weird how much each of them looked like their adopted dragons, Weisslogia and Skaidrum, respectively. Weirder still that Sting wanted to follow Natsu everywhere and copy everything he did, and Rogue did the same to Gajeel.

Over time, Natsu's senses heightened. He could hear and smell just as well as Igneel. His flames were much more powerful too. He and Igneel usually trained in some forests but sometimes they'd go to Zeref's flying house. And Anna was usually there too. Sometimes her husband would come too, his name was Tatsuya. He looked kinda funny but he was cool, Natsu thought, but he couldn't come see them all the time because he and Anna had a baby.

Natsu had loved Anna. If Igneel was his foster dad, Anna was his foster mom. She taught him how to read and write, along with the other dragon slayers. Zeref tried to tell her she was wasting her time but she was a much better and nicer teacher than Zeref or the stupid etherious. Zeref had got all mopey, as usual, when Natsu had told him that after demonstrating his new skills for his brother.

He thought he'd never forget the day she brought him a gift- a scarf that smelled like Igneel and looked like his dragon scales. She said she made them out of Igneel's scales. And since dragon scales could resist curses, when he wore it, he got to hug his big brother for the first time in years. He loved the days where everyone was laughing and playing together.

Acnologia didn't stand a chance against their new family.

The day had finally come, and Zeref unveiled his latest creation- a massive door called the eclipse gate. It was powered by the moon and sun and stars and Anna's magic or something like that. Natsu didn't really care, but it was a time machine! They were gonna go 400 years into the future! It was so cool!

At least he thought it was, until Igneel came to tell him something as they were getting it ready. "Natsu," he said. "When you wake up in the future... you may not see me for a while."

Natsu stared at Igneel blankly. "Wait, why?"

Igneel sighed, leaning his head down next to the boy. "The other dragons and I... Acnologia hurt us. Badly. We need to... rest and regain our strength."

"Can't I rest with you? I don't want you to leave! I don't want to lose my dad again!" Natsu's voice was beginning to break.

Igneel's eyes widened at the boy's words, and gently touched his snout to Natsu's head. His own eyes were filled with tears. "I'm so sorry Natsu. This is the only way to make sure you are safe. That's all we want for any of our children."

Natsu could hear all of the other dragon slayer's reactions as well. Sting and Wendy were crying, Gajeel was arguing, and Rogue was just standing there silently, breathing heavily. He felt his face heat up and then the tears started to fall down his face. "This isn't fair. I want you to go to the future with me!"

Igneel smiled a sad smile. "You may not see me, young one, but I will be closer than you think. And I will be watching. I know you'll make me proud my son because… you already have."

"Igneel is right. You've grown and learned so much Natsu. I'm proud of you too." Zeref said as he walked up. "And I know Mom and Dad would be too." He offered a small smile.

"And I am too," Anna said, approaching and smiling. "Don't worry Natsu, you won't be alone. The other dragon slayers and I will be with you."

Natsu tried to dry his tears and smile. "Do you have to bring Gajeel with us?"

They all laughed at that.

Natus clenched his fists, his eyes red but determined, and shouted, "Don't worry Dad, I won't let you down! With all my friends, Anna, and Zeref, we'll keep growing stronger! And then we'll take down Acnologia!"

Anna and Igneel smiled and nodded, happy to see Natsu's spirits had improved. However, Zeref kept his same sad smile.

"Natsu," he said somberly.

Natsu turned to Zeref. "Are you sad over Igneel leaving too?"

Zeref didn't answer at first, and just looked into the sky. "I am. But to be honest, I'm more sad that I won't see you again for a long time."

Natsu's eyes widened and his voice . "You're not… coming with us?"

Zeref shook his head. "I have to help Anna's descendent open the gate so you can all come through."

Natsu's smile returned, and he stepped forward and grabbed his brother's hand. "I'm sorry you'll be all alone big brother but we'll get to see each other again after the rest of us go through the gate! I'm sure you'll have all new friends by then and will even know how to get rid of your curse! I'm all fired up already!"

Zeref didn't look back at Natsu. "I'm not sure, little brother. That would be wonderful. But…" his eyes finally looked back at Natsu, full of sadness. "You won't remember me."

Natsu's eyes widened and his voice broke. "W-wh-what? Why?"

"Zeref! You said you weren't going to do this!" Anna yelled at Zeref, eyes full of fury.

"Stop, old friend! This is a mistake!" Igneel yelled as well, voice trembling with rage.

Zeref's sad smile didn't fade. "I'm sorry my friends. This is the safest way." Looking at all of them now, he continued, "If I lose control of my curse around any of you, all of our efforts will be for nothing. Acnologia will reign over a world of ash and darkness. Besides… if Natsu is constantly asking around for me, it will draw far too much attention. I have a feeling… my name will not be treated any more fondly by the history books than it is now."

"I don't care about that! I don't wanna lose you Zeref! Mom and Dad said we had to look out for each other! How can I do that if I don't…" the implications of wiping any memory that had to do with his brother hit him full force.

Anna gasped and, voice full of shock, said, "You wouldn't!"

Igneel growled, "Zeref this isn't you talking! That damn curse is clouding your mind! You will regret this! Do you really want to take away all your brother has left of your parents?! Do you really want him to look at you with the eyes of a stranger?!"

Tears began to spill down Zeref's face. The black mist formed around him and everyone backed up. Still yet that infuriating sad smile remained. "No. No, of course I don't want that. But I'd rather him be safe. The day he was born I promised mom and dad I would keep him safe." Addressing Natsu solely, and moving forward, he added, "And this is how I do that. I know you'll be a light wherever you go Natsu. You'll have a great long life, and then at the end…" He stopped in front of a visibly shaken Natsu, tears falling down both of their faces, and touched the palm of his hand to Natsu's forehead, and finished, "you'll kill me."

"NO! ZEREF STOP!"

"DON'T DO THIS!"

"NO! PLEASE BIG BROTHER! I DON'T WANT TO FORGET! I LOVE YOU!"

"I love you too, Natsu."

Then there was the darkness again.

Over four hundred years later, Natsu sat in his old bedroom clutching his head, his brain finally having processed all his old memories. He stopped shaking for a moment, now perfectly still.

He wasn't sure why the Eclipse Gate didn't work like it was supposed to. He didn't know why he and the other dragon slayers didn't come out together. He didn't know why Anna wasn't there or if she even made it through. He knew one thing though- he hated Zeref.

He remembered their encounter on Tenrou Island. He remembered the unexplained hatred he got seeing the odd young man on the supposedly deserted island, sitting there in a dress (toga) who started saying his name with tears rolling down his face. Then when the stranger said he'd been waiting for him, Natsu had thrown himself at the man and sent him flying. Then heard the strange man say he wasn't strong enough yet.

He remembered their encounter in Tartaros. All the vague things and half-truths he'd told Natsu about him and 'E.N.D.' How infuriated they'd made him.

Looking back at it all now, the burning hatred he felt was gone. Replaced by an awful sinking feeling in his chest. The same thing he felt when Igneel died. Hatred was still there, but it was a different kind. The same kind that he felt the day of the eclipse. The kind that was mixed with an indescribable sadness. The kind that made tears fall down his face.

Natsu's body was shaken by sobs, the emotional fallout catching up to nearly a decade of lost memories. He let out an inhuman scream that echoed through his empty house and the dark and dead forest around them. Zeref had been right.

Despair was here.

Hope everyone enjoyed the flashback! We'll get little snippets of the past going forward, but at this point I don't have anymore flashback arcs planned. Next week is a pretty eventful chapter so hope to see you then! As always your comments, both positive and critical, are welcome!