More Than This

by Graveyard Whispers

Naomi Payton was Daryl Dixon's childhood best friend. In truth, they were each others only friend. But sometimes growing up means growing apart and when Naomi's ambitions and Daryl's loyalty to his brother drive a wedge between them, will the world falling apart be enough to bring them together again? Hell, will they even find each other again?

55. Demon

Naomi

"What about internal bleeding? How would we know?" I couldn't stop pacing in circles even though I was already feeling queasy.

"We would know." Dr Carson was doing an admirable job of staying level-headed in the face of what had been constant questioning from a certified nutcase.

"But how?" I didn't want vague platitudes; they sounded too close to a lie. I wanted answers, and I wanted them to be, 'Daryl's going to be just fine.' Above all, I wanted them to come from Daryl himself.

Bryce took a tactical step between me and Dr Carson. "The doctor knows what he's talking about, let's just let him do his job okay? Take a breath."

Deep breaths weren't helpful. Killing someone might be.

"I knew I should've got a medical degree, what was I thinking fucking around in journalism?" If I could've reached back in time and shaken some sense into my past self I would have.

"Naomi, sweetie," Bryce said slowly. It was the same tone he used to use when we'd pulled an all-nighter and I was freaking out about getting an essay done on time. "Sit down."

It didn't work.

Sitting down, stopping even for a moment was death. I'd crack. Even now, as Bryce put his hands on my shoulders in an attempt to halt my frenzied pacing, I could feel myself unraveling. The bruises on his face and the dried blood on his shirt almost tipped me over the edge.

Aaron approached me slowly like I was a horse about to bolt, a steaming mug in his hand. "Drink this. It's…not good, but there's a tonne of sugar in it."

The sweet tea did its job for a moment. But then I saw the bruises forming around Aaron's eyes and I wanted to smash it against the wall. "I'm so sorry you got hurt."

"It's not as bad as it looks," Aaron tried to wave me off.

"You shouldn't have even been here," my eyes flickered to Bryce. The guilt was a gut punch.

"Either of you. You should have been safe, at home. You should… you could've… I should never have…"

Words got tangled in my throat.

"Woah, it's okay," Aaron said, immediately worried when I started welling up. "We didn't take the brunt of it."

Bryce cringed the moment the words left Aaron's mouth. I started pacing again. Every time I looked at Daryl, the rage I felt was so strong it made me nauseous. I wasn't sure it would ever pass.

As much as it hurt to see Bryce, Aaron, Glenn, and Jerry with their cuts and bruises, they were all still standing. They were all still walking around. They could talk. Daryl was the only one who'd passed out. And he still hadn't woken up.

I stopped my pacing and looked at him lying on a mattress on the floor of Sanctuary's medical bay. A gaping hole opened up in my chest, and a bottomless pit in my stomach swallowed my heart. Dr Carson had given him some pretty strong painkillers that had been designed to keep him asleep for a while. I knew this, and I knew it was best for him, but I still kept staring at his chest to make sure he was breathing. The steady rise and fall of it beneath his bloodstained shirt brought me comfort and anguish in equal measure.

Please wake up, Daryl. Please, please, please.

Bryce put a hand on my shoulder. "He's going to be okay, Naomi."

"I know," I said because there wasn't another option. I wouldn't allow anything else.

Dr Carson gave me the look people give me when they're about to deliver news they know I'm not going to want to hear. "We've done all we can. We just need to let him rest."

Bryce's grip on my shoulder tightened. The world pitched beneath me, spinning out of control. "Rest? That's it?"

"For now," he said. "That's all we can do, yes. It's good that he's asleep."

His tone was reassuring, and calming. It did nothing, but I swallowed my urge to scream and said, "Thank you."

"I'll check him when he wakes up," Dr Carson nodded on his way out.

I willed Daryl to open his eyes. To tell me off for worrying about him. Call me a dumbass. Anything. The bruises on him were darkening. Red to deep purple. His hand, swollen and broken from trying to protect me, was wrapped tightly in white bandages.

Helplessness had gripped me since I'd heard his cry of pain through the walkie-talkie. Now that I had nothing to do, its grip tightened. I had done nothing when Terminus was taken over, and even though this takeover had been foiled, the thought of doing nothing now was suffocating.

"I'm stepping out for a sec," I said to Bryce without taking my eyes off Daryl. "Watch Daryl. If he so much as rolls over, radio me."

"Where are you going?" The worry in Bryce's voice made it difficult to look him in the eye.

"I'm ending this," Before Bryce could say anything else, I turned to Aaron and said, "Ask Maggie and Michonne to meet me by the front door."

I let the door swing shut behind me before either of them could respond. There was a fire under my heels, and I couldn't stop for anything. I would not explain myself or debate anyone. The time for that was over, nobody had believed me when I'd told them that Negan was still out there. Watching. Waiting to strike. Look where sitting around trying to convince people to listen to me had got us. Inaction felt like death.

My family was not a price I was willing to pay, not for anything.

I grabbed two duffle bags from the commissary and filled one with supplies; some food, and warmer clothes. The second carried Lucille and something worse.

Daryl's crossbow was propped up in a corner by the tinned beans. It should have been in our room, or with him, so I assumed it had been taken from him during the now-failed uprising. I picked it up and slung it over my shoulder. It was almost as good as having his arm around me. Felt like he was with me. It gave me the strength to pick up that fucking walkie-talkie and contact Negan one last time.

"I'll keep my word," I said. "You can have Lucille back. I'll bring her to the clearing Mia left your food in. Be there. Or don't. Either way, this is the end, Negan."

I turned the walkie off completely. I couldn't bear to hear his smug voice again. If I never saw that damn walkie-talkie again after tonight, it would be too soon.

Maggie and Michonne were waiting for me by the door. They eyed the duffle bags I was carrying with concern.

"You guys okay?" I asked them. If Maggie felt like punching me for the danger we'd got Glenn in, I wouldn't have blamed her. She was showing more than she had been the last time I'd seen her. The guilt of putting this kind of stress on a pregnant woman swallowed me whole.

But she didn't. She just nodded, "Yeah, are you-"

"Is Glenn okay?" I couldn't deal with someone asking me how I was. I was numb. But I was aware that beneath the surface I was spinning out. It was a survival thing. I couldn't break down until I knew it was safe to do so, and until then, I had to keep moving. I would feel it all later.

"Yeah. He's a little banged up, but… nothing serious," Maggie said. She took a deep breath.

"Daryl… is he-"

"He'll be fine," I said. I needed it to be true. The more I said it, the more I felt like I could speak it into existence. "Dr Carson's been with him for the last hour. He needs to sleep, but… he should…"

My voice trailed off, and my vision started to blur. I'd stayed still for too long.

"What can we do?" Michonne asked, noticing that I was wavering. I'd never appreciated her steadfast and calm presence more than at that moment. They knew I wouldn't have asked them here, wouldn't have left Daryl's side unless I needed to be somewhere.

"I need backup," I looked apologetically at them. "I didn't know who else to ask."

"For what?"

"I'm going to give Lucille back," I said. Another glance passed between them. "I know Rick might not like it, but Negan won't stop until he has his stupid bat. I need him to stop. I can't have this happen again."

"Do you think that's the right move?" Maggie asked. "Giving him a weapon?"

"He's been communicating with Saviors here for… God knows how long. Probably for as long as we've been here," I said. "We know they had little caches of weapons and supplies around the area when they were running this place. There's no way he doesn't already have some kind of weapon on him. He wants Lucille back."

"True…" Michonne said slowly. "But I'm still not sure it's a good idea. Shouldn't we bring him in, like we talked about?"

"You're welcome to try, but he won't come willingly," I took a deep breath to calm myself and felt the strap of Daryl's crossbow hug me tight.

"I'm not asking you to go against Rick, but I need you there. To stop me from killing him."

I knew if I met Negan alone, the chances of us both getting out alive were slim to none. And if I survived, it wouldn't be for long because Daryl would kill me for going without backup. He'd want me to wait and do this with him, but I couldn't hold out that long. I'd never sleep unless I knew I'd done everything in my power to stop this from happening again.

"Of course, we'll come with you," Maggie said.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. "I mean you should be... resting. You should -"

"I'm pregnant not dying," Maggie snapped, eyes blazing with rage. "They hurt my husband I want this over too."

It was enough to shut me up. Maggie was a damn powerhouse.

Michonne hesitated. "You think it'll work? You think that'll stop him?"

"Yeah. I do," I said. "Negan's a madman, but the madness ain't about Sanctuary. Not really, not anymore."

Michonne's concerned frown deepened, which wasn't surprising given I was talking about Negan's mindset as if I understood it.

I did.

I had felt it tonight, a little bit of that madness. When I'd walked in and seen Daryl hurt like that… after what must have been hours of torture… I'd seen clear as day how you could lose one person and descend into becoming a homicidal maniac. Daryl was still alive, and my sanity was hanging by a thread.

"You don't have to come, but I ain't sitting around here waiting for Negan to launch another attack to get Lucille back," I said. "If that's all it takes for him to leave, he can have the damn thing."

It was a small price to pay, I'd have paid with my life if it kept Daryl safe.

"Have you contacted him?"

"Yes."

"I'll come," Michonne said, "but we offer him a deal first. The main objective is to bring him in."

"I can live with that," I said and started walking. Maggie and Michonne ran to catch up.

"What's in the bags?" Maggie asked.

"A present for Negan."

No further questions were asked. I could feel the tension radiating from the other two, but I truly felt nothing. The burning rage that had sustained me throughout the fight against Negan's men had been quickly frozen by the abject fear of seeing Daryl crumple to the ground like that. Now my heart was steel, fortified by the knowledge that the path I was walking now was the same one Mia had taken when she snuck food out of Sanctuary. For an asshole who threatened her life all the same.

When we reached the clearing, I dropped the bags on the forest floor and waited.
We didn't have to wait long. A shadow moved through the trees. A tall shadow with a familiar swagger to his walk. Maggie and Michonne raised their guns at the same time I lifted Daryl's crossbow. Negan's laughter echoed through the trees ahead of him, and I heard the click of his own gun.

Negan stepped into the clearing, the barrel of his gun trained on me. I could see at least two more hanging from holsters on his belt. He wasn't short of weapons, but he didn't look as strong as he had before.

He was gaunt. Pale. Sallow skin and sunken cheekbones. A shadow of his former, formidable self. I could see why the kids had taken pity on him, and why he'd avoided coming to Sanctuary in person.

He looked around at us all. "What's this? You starting a girl band? Pregnant Spice is a weird touch."

I didn't like the way he leered at Maggie but she didn't even flinch. "Didn't expect me to come without backup, did you?"

"It's hot, I dig it," he shrugged. His shit-eating grin didn't quite have the same effect on such a thin face. Negan's eyes fixed on me, "How's Daryl? Last I saw him he looked like -"

"Naomi!" It was only when Michonne called my name that I realized how close I'd come to shooting him. My finger tensed on a loaded crossbow. Michonne put a hand on my arm and tried to get me to lower it.

Negan laughed. Unfazed by death. Goading me into it.

"Negan," Michonne stepped in front of me, her gun still trained on Negan. He looked curiously at her, moving his gun to point at her instead of me as she spoke. "Our communities have met and agreed that while you have to answer for what you've done, this is peacetime. We won't kill you, but there will be justice. A trial."

Negan rolled his eyes. He'd heard this all before, been given a thousand chances. I doubted he was going to take chance number one thousand and one. But Michonne had to try and I respected that.

As she kept walking towards Negan, I drew closer too, making sure she was covered. Maggie slowly moved around the other side of Negan. His eyes darted back and forth between the three of us, dark circles underneath.

"Hey back up now," Negan's sudden outburst made us all jump. He'd always been quick to anger, but now the veil was paper thin. His eyes flashed, spittle flew from his mouth, his gun swung back around to me. "I ain't here to play nice."

Michonne stopped. Maggie and I stopped, and it became clear that bringing Negan in by force wasn't an option. He would not hesitate to kill any one of us to get away.

"Alright," Michonne said calmly, raising her hands in a gesture of nonviolence. "We won't come any closer, but you can come back with us. You got a long winter ahead of you, you don't want to face that alone. I'm not saying a jail cell will be comfortable, but it's gotta be better than freezing to death out here."

"No chance in hell." It was death or Lucille, those were the only outcomes he'd accept. Negan's eyes slid over to me. "Does she speak for you?"

I reached into one of the duffle bags, grabbed Ronnie's severed head by his hair, and threw it at Negan's feet. On either side of me, I heard Michonne and Maggie take a sharp breath. Negan crouched right down to look at Ronnie's unseeing eyes and his still-snapping undead jaw.

"Rick's offer still stands. But not here," I said.

"You want mercy, you go to Alexandria. You come back here, you'll end up like Ronnie."

Negan let out a slow whistle and slowly looked back up at me. "All my men could talk about how much of a brute Daryl was. But you're something worse, aren't ya?"

I could feel Michonne and Maggie's eyes on me. My skin prickled with shame. My friends were finally seeing the ugliest parts of me. The parts I'd spent a lifetime trying to hide. "Yes."

Daryl was, and always had been, unapologetically himself. I was all apologies, diluting myself to be so palatable to other people's tastes that I ended up bland as water reflecting back whatever I thought they wanted to see. I did my best to drown those ugly parts of me yet here they were, surviving.

"I could've made something special outta you. Instead, you're languishing in Rick's shadow."

I threw the duffle bag full of supplies at him.

"There's clothes and some food in there, that's the last you're getting from Sanctuary," I told him.

"Now, I don't much care where you go, but if you're seen within three miles of this place, you're dead. There's a map in there too, outlining the radius in case you're too dumb to work it out yourself. Don't cross the creek and don't cross the freeway. We'll shoot you on sight."

"Alright. But if I see anyone on my turf, I won't hesitate to do the same, sweetheart."

"Fine."

"You got my girl?"

I pulled Lucille out of the second duffle bag and threw it to him.

"Would you look at that…she's still got bits of Ronnie on her." He inspected Lucille. "Pleasure doing business with you, Naomi."

I turned away from him. "Eat shit."

I couldn't stand the sight of him for a second longer. The trigger on Daryl's crossbow was looking mighty tempting.

Michonne and Maggie made sure Negan left. I couldn't turn, couldn't help them. I'd have put a bolt in his back.

We trudged back to Sanctuary in silence. I couldn't look at either of them. The forest floor in front of me was about all I could muster.

"Sorry we couldn't bring him in," I said.

Michonne's footsteps didn't falter beside me. "Thanks for not killing him."

I nodded.

The shame that had pricked my skin in the clearing spread to something worse. It sank into me until it was bone-deep. Sanctuary loomed ahead of us again. Of all of the fucked up things in that place, I was the worst. A demon in a mask, pretending I was human. A shit stain on the world, a liability around everyone I loved.
I'd do it all again if I had to.

"I need to report this to Rick," Michonne said as we reached the front door again.

"I know," I said. "I'll be in the infirmary if he wants to come yell at me."

I started to head back to the infirmary, taking a route through the corridor where I imagined this had all started.

The doors of every cupboard that had been used as a makeshift cell while Daryl interrogated Ronnie and his friends were still open. Something about the sight of them, all standing ajar with darkness bleeding through, made me stop in my tracks.

I checked them all. And in the third I found Justin. He looked back at me and mirrored my surprise. "You're back."

"You didn't leave."

He looked around the cupboard he'd been shut in. "I didn't leave."

Justin looked as banged up as Ronnie and his conspirators had. But there hadn't been any sign of him when I'd arrived. Bryce and Aaron both reported he'd had nothing to do with it.

"Why?"

"Wasn't part of it. Didn't want to be." He still didn't move.

"The door's been unlocked all day."

"I wasn't sure that it was over."

"It's over."

He nodded. "The other guys, are they….?"

"Ronnie's dead," I said, and wondered if Justin could see the truth of who I was in my face. "A few of the others are hurt. They'll all be sent off to Hilltop when they've recovered. Come with me."

Justin got to his feet with the slow, careful movement of someone whose joints were aching from being crouched in a cupboard for two days. I took him back to the infirmary with me.
Bryce's eyes widened when we walked in. No wonder. He'd seen me kill one man tonight and might have been worried he was about to witness a second. I wondered if he still saw me in the same way he had before tonight. I looked away from him as I searched for something to clean a wound on Justin's forehead that was starting to fester.

"Has he woken up?" I asked. In the corner of my eye, I could see Daryl's immobile form. Chest still rising and falling.

"No, he's been the same since you left," Bryce tried to sound reassuring.

"Jesus…" Justin muttered as he glanced at Daryl. Given I was currently patching up the wounds Daryl had left on him, it spoke a lot about just how hurt Daryl was that Justin could muster so much sympathy.

"It's a good thing he's resting," Bryce said

"Uh-huh," I nodded, bandaging Justin's arm.

"He needs rest," Bryce said.

"Uh-huh."

"And so do you."

I ignored him and looked at Justin. "You're all done. Bryce will take you through to Rick, but since you had no part in this I'm sure you'll be free to go."

Justin nodded, but Bryce hesitated. "Do you want me to come back?"

"No. I got it from here. You get some sleep."

"You get some sleep." I couldn't stand how worried Bryce looked about me. Not after tonight. "I'll come and get you if anything-"

"I ain't gonna be able to sleep anywhere else but here."

"I could stay with you?" he offered.

"No," I shook my head. "That's sweet, but no. I'll be fine."

I knew Daryl wouldn't be comfortable with anyone watching over him but me. Bryce pulled me into a tight hug. "What you did tonight…it was very brave."

It didn't feel brave, it felt barbaric.

I felt myself starting to well up, but I fought it back. I whispered, "You shouldn't have been here."

"I'm okay. We're all okay, including Daryl."

"Uh-huh."

Bryce gave me a smile before he took Justin out of the infirmary to deliver him to Rick. I couldn't muster one in return.

The silence in the room after they left crushed me. I sank on the floor beside Daryl's mattress. Alone with Daryl for the first time since I'd got back, the sight of him overwhelmed me. I hated how still he was. How quiet. His face was turned to me. Blood around his mouth. One eye swollen and purple. I pushed his hair back from his face. Kissed his forehead.

"Daryl," I whispered to him, although I doubted he could hear me. "You're gonna be okay. You gotta be."

Words got caught in my throat. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but every time I tried it sounded too much like a goodbye.
I lay down on the floor beside him, feeling like I was bleeding out. I reached for his non-broken hand. It was the first time in my life I'd held his hand in the dark and hadn't felt him squeezing back.

Daryl

The room was dark when I woke up, but there was a faint grey glow that could have meant early morning. I knew I should be hurting more, but my head felt heavy in a way that told me I was on some heavy-duty painkillers. I'd woken up real slow, a gradual and groggy awareness that I was in Sanctuary's infirmary and I wasn't alone.

I turned my head, and there she was. Lying on the floor beside my mattress, curled tight with her face turned towards me. No pillows, no blanket, just an angel sleeping on a dusty floor.

I wanna give you so much more than this…

I wanna give you the goddamn world.

None of it was fair. I was supposed to protect her from everything, and here she was looking after me. I reached out, touched her shoulder as gently as I could. She gave a start the moment she saw me, scrambling to get up. Wild panic in her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey," I said quickly before she started spinning out. "I'm fine. I'm good."

"I gotta get the doctor," she turned away from me like she was about to call out. About to raise all hell until someone came to check me over.

"Nope," I tightened my grip on her arm. "I'm all good, angel. Let the man sleep. I can see him in the morning."

My throat was dry, my voice like gravel. Naomi frowned, "You should drink something'."

I didn't want her to leave but it turned out she had water all prepared for me. I struggled to sit up while she brought it over. Aches and pains bloomed all over, but the meds took the edge off. Naomi knelt next to me with the water glass in hand and tried to help me sit up. If it had been somebody else, I'd have waved them off and done it myself, but I liked feeling her hand between my shoulder blades.

I hadn't realized how parched I was until I started drinking. I finished the whole glass without coming up for air. Naomi looked at me, "You need some more?"

"Nah." I shook my head.

"More painkillers?"

"Nah. Not at the moment." I was in a small amount of pain, but I didn't want to take anything that might put me to sleep again. I just wanted to spend time with my girl.

She nodded and took the glass away. She had food all prepared for me too. "Eat."

"Yes, ma'am." That earned me a smile. It was so good to see her smile.

"I'm going to get the doctor."
"No," I said, sharply enough for her to stop in her tracks.

She looked back at me, glaring hard. "Your hand…"

"It's fine."

"It's broken," she said. "Dr Carson should-"

"What's he gonna do, bandage it twice?" I held up my injured hand. It had been so thoroughly wrapped up that it was about twice as heavy as it used to be. Felt like I was wearing half of our supply of bandages, and I knew from how over-the-top it was that Naomi had been hovering behind Dr Carson while he did it, demanding he do more.

"Daryl!" she hissed, nostrils flaring with annoyance.

"Naomi!" I hissed back.

"Dr Carson -"
"Should be checking you over," I said. "Maybe he can find some of the screws you got loose."

"Your ribs-"

"They ain't broken."

"You don't know that, we can't x-ray here. There's no-"

"I've had broken ribs before, I know what they feel like. These are just bruised."

"You need -"

"I need you, darlin'," I said, which shut her up for a moment. She didn't even give me shit for the times I'd called her 'darlin' or 'angel', which is how I knew I was in bad shape. Her face softened as she looked at me. I felt soft too, and I was starting not to care that she knew it. "Now, c'mere… whatcha doin' sleeping on the floor?"

"The hell else am I supposed to sleep?" She looked at me like I was nuts, but she did move away from the door and closer to me.

"We have a whole room upstairs," I reminded her.

"It's got all our stuff in it and everything."

"Yeah. But you ain't in it, dummy."

I couldn't hold back any longer.

"C'mere," I pulled her onto the mattress beside me. My arms ached, my ribs hurt every time I moved, and I could feel my heartbeat in my broken hand, but it was worth it to be close to her. She'd been away from me all of three days and I was craving her like it had been years since I last touched her. Last tasted her.

Naomi slipped carefully into bed beside me. I wrapped an arm around her, resting my broken hand on her hip. She didn't get too close, resisting leaning on any part of me in case she hurt me.

"If you start to feel sick, or sore, or anything…" she said.

"Promise I'll let you know."

"Okay," she said, the panic starting to fade and something else creeping in. "You're really okay?"

It came out as a whisper, small and lost. A killer combination with her big, sad eyes. It stirred something in me. "I'm really okay."

"You almost weren't, though," she said. There were tears in her eyes that she was fighting to hold back, and a tremor in her bottom lip as she looked at me. Damn near broke my heart. "You're hurt. You're really, really hurt. You should've… you should have called me like they wanted you to not… not…."

She was losing the fight against the tears in her eyes. I got the sense it was a battle she'd been fighting for a while.

"Ain't so bad," I said, because it really wasn't, not now she was back in my arms. I kissed her forehead and felt the stab of pain in my split lip.

"And don't go blaming yourself for it, neither."

"It's my fault your hand got broken," she said.

"It's Ronnie's fault my hand got broken," I corrected her. "The shit he was sayin'... A guy like that shouldn't be breathing."

"Well. He's not anymore," she reminded me. Her voice was flat, but I knew she was cut up about it. I didn't like the look in her eyes. She sighed. "I think maybe you were right. I think maybe I shouldn't have come here with you."

"Negan would've done the same thing if you were in the Kingdom," I said. "He'd still have wanted Lucille, right?"

"Maybe," she laid her head down on the pillow beside mine, still maintaining a careful, calculated distance from me. I didn't care about my bruises, I wanted to feel her body on mine again but now wasn't the time. She was too sad.

"And he still would've used me to get to you if you had Lucille," I stroked her cheek. I couldn't stop looking at her. "Sure, he might've had a harder time getting support if I hadn't been so…hard on his buddies for what they did to you, but-"

"If those guys hadn't beaten me the first time around if I hadn't been the target of all of their shit… you'd have kept your cool," she interrupted with her big, sad eyes. My heart clenched at the sight of it. "You could lead this place if I got out of your way."

Out of my way? You're the one who makes any of this worth a damn.

I saw where this train of thought was going and I didn't like it. "Maybe I'd have been able to keep my cool, keep my head down, keep to Rick's plan. But you know what else I'd have been?"

"What?"

"Fucking miserable."

"Daryl…" Her whole face softened in that way that made my heart do stupid flips.

"Hey don't gimme that look. I ain't ever been happy, not like this. Not like what we got."

Even now, even in the shitty situations we'd been in, being with her was beyond my wildest fucking dreams. Naomi kissed me, finally letting herself melt against me like I'd wanted her to since I'd laid eyes on her. As I kissed her back, her warm body relaxed, fitting so perfectly, the way it always did, against mine. The tears she'd been holding back started to fall. I held her tight as she buried her face in my neck.

"C'mere, it's okay," I murmured into her hair, holding her body close to mine. I could feel her shaking in my arms. "You're alright. Everything's alright."

"I almost lost you." There was a tremor in her voice. The more she tried to hold it back, the more uncontrollable her sobs became. I held her tighter.

"I'm alright, angel. It's alright. I'm right here." My good hand rubbed her back, a lump forming in my own throat as I did my best to soothe her. I'd seen her cry before, but never like this. Never so scared. "Been holding all this in for a while, huh?"

I felt her nod against my chest. Her sobs were muffled by the front of my shirt.

"Can't stand seein' you hurt like this." She whispered so quietly I almost missed it. Her body shook against mine. I kissed the top of her head.

"I know, I know," I murmured. "But I'm okay, darlin'. I'm right here."

In some ways, it broke my heart. But in other, more selfish ways, it healed parts of me that had been broken since I was a kid. Parts that never believed anyone could love me like this. So deeply, so fiercely. Like my life meant more to her than her own.

The way she'd dropped everything for me and come running. Fought tooth and nail. For me? Even now, crying in my arms, she was letting me see a side of her I knew she'd never let anyone else see.

It was selfish, I know, but I can't tell you what that kind of loyalty means to a guy like me. Never thought anyone could feel that way about me.
For a moment, I couldn't say anything. Just held her, stroked her hair, rubbed her back until her tears subsided. I cleared my throat. "Naomi?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a fucking angel."

"Stop." She looked up at me and I wiped the tears from under her eyes with my thumb. "Stop callin' me that."

"Stop givin' me reasons to." Even with her red-rimmed eyes and tear tracks glistening on her cheeks, she was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Well… that's easy." Naomi braced herself for something. "You're about to be so mad at me."
"I doubt that, darlin'."

"You ain't gonna like it." Naomi took a deep breath before she spoke again. "We saw Negan. I gave him Lucille."

She was right. I didn't like it, but I didn't want that to turn into anger. I gave myself a beat before I reacted. Stroked her hair again, which soothed us both. "We?"

"I brought Maggie and Michonne…" she said. "Y'know, as backup."

The tightness in my chest eased up a little. I'd had visions of her charging into the woods by herself to face him alone. "Good choices."

Naomi waited for me to say something. When I didn't she said, "You ain't mad?"

"I don't like it," I couldn't lie to her. Not with her red-rimmed eyes still looking up at me. "But I ain't mad. Not at you. I trust you. I know you'd have done what's right."

"I told him if he wants mercy, he can go to Alexandria. Rick's offer still stands and we'll honor that. But if he's seen near here again, he's dead." Naomi looked apprehensive like she still expected me to blow up at her any second. I hated that she felt like she had to walk on eggshells around me. "Sorry. I know that decision should have been yours to make. You're in charge, but…you were…and I couldn't sit around waiting for Negan's next move."

"It's okay." I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was close to spinning out again. I kissed her forehead. "Giving him the option is a damn sight kinder than I'd have been."

Letting him live was a damn sight kinder than I'd have been, but I got that she was still trying to find a way to respect Rick's decision. She sighed," You don't feel like I've undermined you?"

"Hell no." I'd always trusted her judgment more than my own. "Does Rick know?"

"By now? Probably. Michonne will have told him."

"You ain't seen him?"

"Ain't seen anyone since I got back," she said. She must have read the surprise on my face because she thought about it for a moment and added, "Except Bryce. He's been bringing me food and stuff. Swapping in to stay with you when I need a bathroom break."

"That's a whole damn operation you got here. How long have I been out?"

She bit her lip. "Almost twenty-four hours."

"I missed a day?!"

"Yeah." She looked like she was about to cry again.

"Holy shit." I let that sink in, along with the fact that while I'd been out cold Little Miss doesn't -sit-still-for-nothing Payton had sat vigil at my bedside.

"C'mere," I pulled her close again and felt her nestle against me. "I must've been a Pope or something in a past life to deserve being loved like this in this one."

Naomi sniffed, and let out something somewhere between a sob and laugh.

"Some of them Popes did shady shit," she mumbled into my chest. "No way you were one of them."

"Alright, not a Pope then," I chuckled, even though it caused a stab of pain in my ribs. I rested my chin on the top of her head. It felt so damn good to have her back in my arms again. "But seriously, Naomi, I'm fine. You didn't need to camp out here."

She raised an eyebrow. "You ain't fine."

"I ain't that bad to look at am I?" I hoped I didn't come off as needy as I felt.

"Nah, don't worry, you're still hot," she grinned. I hated that I could feel my ears turning red. "But…. C'mere a sec."

She got up and held out a hand to help me up off the mattress. I resisted at first, some stubborn part of me wanting to prove that she didn't need to worry as much as she was. But the more I moved, the more pain shot through me. Naomi helped haul me to my feet and pointed me in the direction of the mirror hanging on the infirmary wall.

Ah. Shit.

I was caked in dirt and blood. My face was all shades of bruised. Dried blood was soaked into the front of my shirt. If I'd seen her in that kinda state I'd have set fire to something.

No wonder she's losing her mind.

"Alright, maybe I should get myself cleaned up," I admitted.

"And see a doctor?"

"Maybe. Once he's awake."

"I can-"

"Let the man sleep."

"Fine. But I'm runnin' you a bath and I'm changing that dressing on your shoulder," she said, looking sternly back at me as she made her way towards the door. I followed, slower than I'd liked. My muscles hurt with every step. I tried not to let it show, but she must've caught a grimace on my face because she added, "And Dr Carson gave me more painkillers for ya. If you need 'em just ask."

"They gonna knock me out again?"

"They're not as strong as the previous ones but they might make you a little drowsy," she said, worried eyes fixed on me as we walked away from the infirmary. "If you need something stronger or one of them sedatives I can get-"

"Naomi," I shook my head, "if you mention waking that doctor one more time, I'm sedating you."

She looked like she wanted to yell at me, but since most other people in Sanctuary were asleep she stopped herself.

"You know you have a broken hand, right?" she said, pointing at it, "There's a bone in there that once was in one piece that ain't anymore."

"Yeah, I know."

"Do ya? 'cause you ain't acting like it."

"I know it. Might not know the exact damn bone, but it's in my hand, I can feel it's broken."

"It's your fifth metacarpal," she said. I stared at her. "Well… probably. Most likely. We don't have an x-ray, but… Dr Carson said that was the most likely based on how it happened."

"Nerd." I could feel the grin spreading across my face. Naomi rolled her eyes, but I could see the smile tugging at her lips as she pushed open a bathroom door.

"You need some painkillers or what?"

I wasn't ready to miss out on any more time with my girl. "Later's fine. I'm all good, really."

"Fine," she sighed before she bent over the bath and started running the water. "Get them bloody clothes off.'

"Buy a guy a drink first, Jeeze."

I heard her laugh despite herself. The sound of it made me feel warmer than any bath ever could. She was right, though, every time I looked down I was surprised by the amount of dried blood on my shirt. It had basically turned a whole other color, and soaked through to stick to me like a second skin.

A shock of pain in my shoulder as I reached to undo the top button made me groan. It was the surprise of it more than the pain, but I felt the silence in the room intensify. I avoided looking at Naomi. Didn't need her worrying more than she already was, but it was difficult to unbutton anything with only one hand and a gash across the other shoulder.

After a few minutes of silence, I glanced up at Naomi and found her sitting on the edge of the bath, steam rising behind her. I felt my cheeks heat up when I realized she'd probably been watching me the whole time. I hated looking weak in front of anyone, but especially her.

"You got a buncha ones you're gonna start throwin' at me?"

"For the slowest strip tease on Earth? I'd be broke before you were showin' any skin." Naomi rolled her eyes and stood up. "C'mon, need some help? I got two workin' hands."

"Nah, I'm good." I tried to wave her off, she'd already done more than enough for me.

"Daryl. Please," she fixed me with those big eyes of hers. It stirred something in me, but I still shook my head.

"I got this," I said. But it was becoming clear even to me that I didn't. I struggled on a little longer, feeling her eyes on me as I tried to pull my sleeve down while my shoulder screamed at me. My cheeks burned. Naomi shut off the taps and moved closer.

"C'mon, Daryl. It's not like I ain't taken your clothes off before," she softly, with this big, cheeky, heart-melting grin. My heart spun over and I couldn't help but smile back as she added a soft, "Please?"

I gave in. She could ask me for anything like that and I'd say yes. Her gentle hands brushed against my chest as she undid the button I'd been struggling with for five minutes. Her eyes stayed fixed on mine as she undid the rest.

"Lemme know if I hurt you," she said, her voice as gentle as the way she eased my shirt off my aching shoulder. The cut from Ronnie's knife had bled through the bandage on it.

"You're doing jus' fine," I murmured. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she undressed me. My heart thrummed, although I knew this wasn't supposed to be a heart-thrumming situation. I couldn't help it, the prettiest girl I'd ever known was unzipping my pants. Took a hell of a lot of focus to stop myself from getting hard.

I remembered how nervous I'd been to take my clothes off in front of her at first. Never thought someone could look at me and want… well, anything. But Naomi looks at this broken, battle-scarred body of mine like it's some kind of miracle. Like she's never wanted anything more. And that makes me feel like a damn king.

Even in this state, she didn't recoil from me. Didn't flinch at the blood-soaked bandage on my shoulder, or the dark purple bruises on my ribs. Or the red marks on my thighs and shins from where the rope had cut into me. Treated me like she always did, like I was her favorite damn work of art. I pulled her hips closer to mine with one hand. "Have I thanked you for taking care of me yet?"

"You can thank me by getting in the bath," she said, but there was a whole smile lighting up her face. A sparkle in her eyes. "I ain't done taking care of you."

"Yes, ma'am."

The water was perfect. Warm around my legs as I stepped in. I sank into it, my muscles thankful for the warm water, relaxed for the first time in days.

"How's it feeling?" she asked. I looked over at her. She had her back to me, folding a towel like she was trying to give me some semblance of privacy. Sweet gesture from a girl who'd just stripped me naked.

"Pretty roomy."

"What?"

"The bath, it's big enough for two I reckon."

Naomi suppressed a laugh and tried to stay serious. "I meant the temperature, dummy."

I grinned. "Come in and test it for yourself."

Naomi turned to look at me. "Quit hitting on your nurse. You're a shitty patient."

"Well, your bedside manner needs some work," I said. "Either get out or come closer, ''cause you hoverin' by the door is real off-putting. Feel like a monkey in a zoo."

"Alright," Naomi chuckled. I looked over at her, watched her think about leaving me to it, and prayed that she wouldn't. "Lemme see that shoulder."

My heart jumped higher up in my throat the closer she got. By the time she crouched down so her head was level with mine it was doing flips by my tonsils. I lifted my hand out of the water and traced her jawline with a finger. Could've fallen into those eyes. I leaned in and kissed her. The taste of her on my lips again was enough to numb the pain in the rest of my body. Her lips, her tongue. The little noise she made when I nibbled on her bottom lip. I wrapped my arms around her damn near pulling her in there with me. Naomi steadied herself on the edge of the bath and pulled back.

"Daryl, I swear to God…" she muttered, but she was still smiling.

"Alright, alright. Do what you gotta do." I conceded. Naomi leaned over and gently peeled the bandage from my shoulder. A heaviness crept into her eyes like it hurt her too.

"It's clean," she murmured, more to herself than to me but I could hear the relief in the warmth of her voice. Naomi dipped a cloth in the water and lifted it to the cut on my shoulder. She looked back up at my face and I knew what she was going to say before she said it, and a smile spread across my face. Caught off guard by it, she frowned. "Whatcha smiling at?"

"You're about to tell me this might sting."

"Well," she shrugged. "It might."

"You always say that."

"If you're sick of hearing it stop givin' me reason to," she retorted. I watched the way she cleaned my cut. The care she took over it, how reluctant she was to do anything that would cause me any more pain. Naomi didn't pause the slow, methodical cleaning of my wound but she did look back at my face. The deep worry in her eyes hadn't eased up all day. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah, you're doin' good," I said. It wasn't strictly true. The water stung a little, but her gentle hands soothed it immediately. Warm water and her soft hands made up for any pain. I closed my eyes, my body responding to her touch. "Feels nice."

This is fucking heaven.

I got a little lost in her touch. I used to think I hated being touched. I'd clam up at a handshake, a pat on the back made me want to crawl out of my skin. I'd walk a little distance away from people so our arms didn't brush up against each other by accident.

Now, I didn't mind when Rick put an arm around my shoulder. Or when Glenn nudged me. Or Aaron patted me on the back.

But being touched by her?

Rain after a drought.

Made me feel like a damn teenager… worse, maybe, because I'd spent my teenage years suppressing every intimate thought I had about her. It had felt wrong to think of Naomi like that. Bad. She was the only person who'd ever given me those kinda thoughts. I'd tried imaging anyone else, but it only ever stirred anything in me when my mind drifted to her eyes, her smile, the way her hand felt in mine. From there it was a slippery slope to how those hands would feel on my body, how soft other parts of her might feel. All of those thoughts had come laced with a heavy dose of guilt.

She was perfect - an angel who'd somehow wound up dumped in the same part of hell as demons like me and Merle. I'd belonged there, never been fit for anything else, but her? Naomi was always going to rise out of there. She was too good, burned too bright to stay trapped with all of that darkness.

Who the fuck was I to think about her like that?
When Melre and his friends had talked about the tail they'd gotten, who was I to wonder what it would be like to be with Naomi like that? To see her naked, on her knees. Bend her over. Make her scream. It'd made me feel like a damn creep. Some twisted fuck dreaming up things he should never think about someone who trusted him not to be a creep.

And now? Her fingers trailed across my chest, feather-light, making my spine tingle. Her warm lips were on my neck. I smiled. "That feels good."

"Mmm, I can tell." There was mischief in her voice. I opened my eyes again and looked at her. There was mischief in her eyes too, always a worrying sign. A slight blush in her cheeks, but those goddamn eyes were sparkling.

Oh shit.

My cock twitched just looking at her and I realized how hard I was. I'd let my mind drift. My face felt like it was on fire. "You can, uh, ignore that."

"Oh yeah?" She arched an eyebrow. "What if I don't wanna ignore it?"

"You, uh… you…" My head was swimming, I couldn't form a thought, never mind a sentence. Her hand moved lower down my abdomen, brushing across my hips under the water, stroking my inner thigh. Touching me everywhere except from exactly where I needed her to.

Naomi fixed me with those big eyes of hers." Please, Daryl?"

Fuck yes.

I wanted her so bad I could barely talk. I nodded. She smiled, her hand wrapped around the base of my cock. I groaned.

"You really like when I say that, huh?" she said, stroking me slowly, deliberately. That damn cheeky sparkle in her eyes as she drank in even the smallest reaction from me.

"What?" I tried to play dumb but my brain was too damn clouded to pull it off.

"Please," she said again, and my cock twitched in her hand like a goddamn snitch.

"Mmhmm," I nodded, my head tilting back and my hips moving against her hand, "jus' a big fan of manners."

"Bullshit." She leaned in like she was going to kiss me but didn't, and it was beautiful torture. I tried to close the gap but when I leaned towards her she moved a fraction out of the way. Toying with me until I told her the truth.

"I like hearing how much you want me. Drives me crazy."

Naomi bit her lip, and that drove me crazier.

"Drives you crazy like the time I took your bike without asking and you blamed Merle, or…?"

"No," I smiled. "Drives me crazy like if I don't feel your pretty lips on me soon, I'm gonna lose my mind."

Her eyes widened along with that smile, but I'd finally won over her damn teasing. Her grip on my cock tightened, her hand jerkin' me faster. She leaned in, her lips catching mine. I could taste how much she wanted me. I'd spent so many years wanting her to want me while knowing all the time that she deserved more. Better. And if better had come along? I'd cut off the hand of anyone else who touched her the way I did.

I kissed her hard, pulled myself up and out of the bath. Slipping out of there, we ended up a tangle of limbs on the tile.

"You good?" She checked in but her body shook with laughter against mine. Cutested fucking giggle in the world.

"Perfect," I murmured into her neck, rolling onto my back so she was on top of me.

"Woah, careful!" Naomi immediately pushed herself up on her arms above me so that none of her weight was on my bruises.

So damn careful with me.

Her hair, a little damp from my wet hands running through it, hung down between us. I reached up and tucked it behind her ears. "You've kissed me all better, baby."

Corny-ass thing to say but I couldn't help it. Not with her looking at me in all sorts of ways. Plus, it made her give me that sweet smile.

"Oh yeah?" She bent her head and started kissing the bruises on my collarbone. "This helps?"

"Hell yeah." It was true, the pain was fucking nothing when her lips were on my skin.
Naomi moved further down my chest, leaving my bruised skin ablaze with her kisses. Beautiful eyes glancing up at me as her lips sent shivers up my spine the further down my body she went. My hand in her soft hair as she knelt between my thighs. She looked up at me. "Daryl?"

"Yes, angel?"

"Can I suck your cock?" She kissed the tip. "Please?"

Heat flashed through me. The need in her eyes, the way she asked so nice, almost begging for me…

"Fuck yes." The words spilled right out of me. Her tongue ran from the base to the tip and she looked up at me. My breath hitched in my throat. Her hot, wet mouth swallowed the first few inches, her hand moved to play with my balls. I was aching to cum already, a deep heat spreading through me. The sounds she drew from me as her head moved on me, taking me deeper. I was grunting like a damn animal. The hell was she doing giving me the time of day?

My perfect girl.

It wasn't just what she was doing, the way she was teasing me with her lips and tongue, it was that she was the one doing it. Naomi hadn't looked away from me, and there was such genuine joy in her eyes at the panting, rasping breaths I'd been reduced to.

She fuckin' loves doin' this for me.

I bit back the urge to tell her how damn pretty she looked with my cock in her mouth. I had to close my eyes. The sight of her like that was too damn good and I wanted to last. I wanted to tell her to take her damn panties off and sit on my face but I couldn't get a coherent sentence out.
The heat in my body against the cold tiles at my back. Pleasure made even sweeter by the pain in my ribs every time she made me take a sharp breath in. Pain I deserved, right alongside the pleasure I didn't.

"Daryl…?" her sweet voice cut through the fog in my brain. Her hand was back working my cock, now slick with her saliva.

"Mmhmm?" I looked down at her. What a mistake. My balls tightened.

"You ain't gotta hold back y'know."

"What?"

"Whatever it is you fight so hard to stop yourself from doin'." She gave me a knowing smile. Was I that obvious? Could she read me that well? "You ain't gonna break me."

Wanna bet?

I knew I shouldn't, but one hand was on her head and my hips were pushing up, thrusting deeper into her mouth. I didn't want to be rough with her. Or, more accurately, I didn't want to want to be rough with her. But there was something about her soft hair between my calloused fingers that made me want to hold on tighter.

"Fuuuuck…" The softness at the back of her throat made me feel like a brute, but she was still looking at me with those big, adoring eyes. Like I could push further. Like she could take more. "You take such good care of me, baby…"

Her eyes lit up. She was fucking glowing. I shouldn't have enjoyed it as much as I did. I shouldn't have been anywhere near her. I would never deserve this. The ache in my ribs with every ragged breath in, the stab of pain in my broken hand as it joined my other at the back of her head, the throbbing hurt in the muscles it took for me to push in and out of her throat like that… all of that I deserved.

But the girl nestled between my thighs, the trust she placed in me to do this to her, the fucking way she looked at me… like she'd been put on this earth to make me feel good.

That? I'd never deserve that.

Naomi's pretty eyes watered, and I felt her throat constrict around my length. Her watery eyes spilled over like tears. Heat flashed through me again.

"Shit, I'm ''bout to cum," I warned her. What kind of sick fuck has that reaction to seeing tears in his girl's eyes? I'd wanted to hold off. Wanted to do more. But I'd gotten lost in her all over again. She pulled back, but kept up the same pace, both of her soft hands working my length.

Her eyes fixed on me again, her voice soft and sweet as ever. "Cum for me, Daryl. Please."

Fucking hell.

I didn't stand a chance. Those words, the look in her tear-stained eyes, and the way her lips wrapped around the head of my cock again. Pressure that had been building in me since she first touched me spilled out and the whole world dissolved for a moment. Blinding white pleasure and her eyes. My body tensed and every fucked muscle screamed. My ribs hurt, my broken hand throbbed as my fingers clenched. Bit my lip so hard it started bleeding again. The pain had a sharp edge that made my orgasm even sweeter.

I filled her sweet waiting mouth and lay back, panting as I watched her clean up some of it that had dribbled onto her chin. My spent cock softened in her hand. If I hadn't just so thoroughly emptied myself I might've cum twice at the sight of it.

"Are you alright?" I was afraid of the answer.
She crawled up next to me as I tried to catch my breath. She wiped her eyes, which were still watering a little, and smiled. "Yeah. That was good."

"Good?" I stroked her hair, and looked into her eyes to see if I could catch a lie. "It wasn't… I didn't… y'know… hurt you or nothin'?"

"No," she smiled again. "You didn't."

"C'mere," I pulled her toward me and kissed her. Rougher than I should've, but what else is new? I wanted to give her everything she'd just given me. More, if she'd let me. My hungry fingers tugged at her pants.

"Woah, woah," she said with a laugh. She wrapped a hand around my wrist, stopping me from going any further. I didn't push it, but I didn't pull back either.

"Why?" There was probably a better question to ask but my brain was still buzzing from the high she'd brought me to.

"You're hurt, Daryl…''

"I can be gentle." After what had just happened, did she think I couldn't?

"You broke your damn hand."

"This hand works just fine…" I wiggled my fingers to prove it. "My mouth does too."

The bleeding lip might be a slight hiccup but I kissed her neck to prove it wasn't going to hold me back. She laughed a little like she couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth, but her hand didn't move from my wrist. "Let's not push it, yeah? You got a lot of recovering to do."

I tried not to let the disappointment show. "Okay. Yeah. Whatever you want darlin'."

"Thank you," she nestled quietly against me for a moment. I tried to stop the worry that was blooming in my chest but it had already spread. A gnawing feeling she was hiding something from me.

"You sure I didn't hurt you?"

"You'd never hurt me, dummy." She kissed my cheek. Before I could say anything else, she'd reached over and pulled a towel onto my lap.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm…" I kissed her again and couldn't find the right words. My head was a mess but I didn't want to let it show. "Yeah."

"Good."

I sat up and grabbed the towel from my crotch. She helped me to my feet and I wrapped it around my waist. I needed a second. "You, uh, you think you could get me some clean clothes?"

"Of course," she smiled. "Be right back."

It was only when the door closed behind her and I had time alone with my thoughts that I realized what a toll this must've taken on her. This had almost been a repeat of Terminus. Reliving it… the shit that must've brought back to the surface…everything those animals had done to her after. No wonder she hadn't wanted to take things any further.

Fuck.

I'm such an asshole.

Shouldn't have done any of that.

Shame ate me up from the inside out. Couldn't tell you where my fifth meta-whatever-the-fuck was, but I knew where it hurt. So I pressed down hard on it until I almost blacked out again.