Blaine Abernathy: A Canary Caged.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games
Chapter 60: Hard to love
Blaine's POV
There was an adjustment to these circumstances. I tried to grasp all that had happened in the last week and the information that had been dropped on me like a barrel of bricks. Lyme was with me as she explained the situation. Out of everyone here, she was the only person I could trust.
Lyme has been working with the insurgents since she was twenty and organized the District 2 rebels outside the masonry. Not only Lyme being an insurgent, but so was Hacker. He worked with Beetee to create the shadow network and inventions that the Jabberjays have used, from communication devices to secret cameras. One is the snowdrop earrings that I have been wearing this past year.
I felt mixed emotions when I learned that those earrings were no longer sentimental gifts. The gift Cinna gave me turned out to be a tracking device with a built-in microphone and camera. I mainly wore those earrings to everything, recording all those personal moments. I don't know if I should be embarrassed or furious since those earrings were my favorite, and I wore them constantly, so all my private conversations weren't so private.
Lyme could sense my distress. She knows what it is like to be used but to have people you trust use you as a means hurts even more.
The information gets worse when I learn that Simon is also a Jabberjay. He was the first implant when word came that sponsors wanted me. Being a slight protector kept me away from the predators until I came of age. It made sense from all the constant albums and meetings. Simon was trying to protect me by taking up all my scheduled time because the Jabberjays wanted me.
If I ever see Simon again, I need to thank him.
After I slap him.
I asked Lyme about the others—the ones who had been saved. Lyme continued that she had been trying to recruit other victors to join the Jabberjays with Plutarch. She recruited Acre during his Victory Tour, except President Snow did not draft him into the Profit Circle, nor did an increase of sponsors want him. Therefore, Acre had been sneaking around District 11 to gather intel and help the early rebellion.
Acre took my request to watch over Miya and Annie during the games. He spent those days keeping an eye on them until the moment when Brutus killed Chaff. Those in the Jabberjays and Rebels realized what was happening and tried to escape. However, the Peacekeepers started arresting the victors after the hovercrafts appeared in the Arena after Katniss blew it up. Lyme told me that Annie had an episode, and Acre was stuck to choose. He tried to save both, yet Acre could only save Miya. Since he could not expose Simon.
"What about Wade?" I asked.
Lyme scowled slightly, "Wade says he wants to join."
"But you don't trust him?" I asked.
"It's hard to trust someone from District 2," she answered. "Especially those brainwashed in the Capitol propaganda."
I frowned at this.
"But he will be coming with me. We will be leaving for District 2 soon," she informed.
"You're leaving?" I asked in shock.
Lyme nodded, "I need to get the rebels in District 2 ready before Thirteen steps in."
I bowed my head, not wanting her to go. She sat down next to me, patting my back, "You are in good hands. And I will check on you."
I could only nod.
Lyme introduced me to the other insurgence. Although many do not live on the base, they prefer continuing their jobs in businesses and companies. Some work in banks, stealing or, as they prefer, commandeering charity funds.
The two soldiers who rescued Cinna and me were Jason and Cleo, both field agents who do the dirty work of getting in and out of operations. Dr. Caduceus was once a hospital dean and served as head on Tribute Remake; he apparently got fired when the Government considered him to be old when the man was practically seventy and kicking without plastic surgery. Quinn is a rebel's daughter who lost her family as they were turned into Avoxes. She wanted to free her family and be together again. She even studied sign language when hope came.
Everybody here wants to fix the Government and overthrow President Snow. They are not pointing fingers at the Capitol, hoping they can be saved.
However, I did not see Cinna.
I put on the mask to please these insurgents, yet the migraines pounded on my head. The worst was at night, as the nightmares continued to taunt me. I kept waking up screaming that Miya would have to slap me. It wasn't until the next day that Dr. Caduceus started therapy. The past few days have been ticks, as we discussed my hesitation towards the water, the nightmares, and mild hallucinations. Dr. Caduceus promised not to share about the hallucination unless it gets serious. So far, the hallucination has been blood appearing out of nowhere. I can't tolerate it, for it scares the shit out of me. The theory is that President Snow injected the serum into my brain, but it hasn't dissolved. It would take time for the serum to leave my system.
I walked down the empty corridors of the medical wing, and I felt somewhat apprehensive. Sometimes, I wonder if I have gone mad like Annie. Instead of seeing madness in front of me, I see it in my dreams. Sleep depravity seemed tempting if the insurgents stopped adding herbal whatnots and sedatives in every drink I consumed. Sure, sleep is the answer to recovery, but it doesn't mean to put me in another medically induced comatose. I sighed when reaching Dr. Caduceus's office when suddenly the door opened, exiting Cinna.
My breath hitched when I saw him for the first time. He looked a lot better, though his hands were still wrapped in bandages with a patch on his right cheek. We stood there unsure what to do, for the last time we spoke was in the interrogation room.
What are we? I thought.
I am emotionally confused about what we are after being tortured because he wouldn't tell President Snow about the Insurgents. But there was more to that, that I am angry and hurt. Although I did say nasty things to him, I feel guilty.
"Blaine, please come in," Dr. Caduceus called out.
Cinna sighed, stepped aside, and walked away. Disappointed, I looked over my shoulder as I walked into the office and sat on the lounge. Dr. Caduceus sat on his chair, holding a file and writing notes. Afterward, he leaned forward, turning on a tape recorder for our session. However, there was a secret camera somewhere recording our every move.
"I'd like to start with some simple word associations." Dr. Caduceus announced. "Just tell me the first word that pops into your head. For example, I say, "Day," and you might say..."
"Sun," I answered.
"Very good, let's continue." He said as he wrote more notes down. "Game?"
"Murder."
"Father?"
"Alcoholic."
"Mother?"
"Angel."
"Hope."
"Word."
"Politics."
"Dictatorship."
"Are you truly giving me the first words, or had you rehearsed?" he asked suspiciously.
"First words," I replied.
Dr. Caduceus nodded. "Weapon?"
"Instrument."
"District?"
"Jail."
"Mockingjay?"
"Bitch." I said with a smirk, thinking of Katniss.
"Music?"
"Noise."
"Love?"
"Complicated."
"Catching Fire?"
I paused, looking at him.
"Catching Fire?" Dr. Caduceus asked again.
I continued to pause at him until saying. "That's two words."
"But it holds some effect on you." He stated.
I got up, walked to the window, and said, "Classified."
"All right, how about 'Burning Wing?'"
I stopped whipping my head to stare at him in shock. "Where did you hear that?"
"How about you tell me?" he asked simply.
"No, you tell me where you heard it?" I demanded.
Dr. Caduceus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "It is something Varick wrote on your file. Mind telling me what it is about?"
I glared at the doctor, debating whether to leave the room or tell him what 'Burning Wing' is. Operation Catching Fire was the name for spying on Katniss Everdeen. The Burning Wing wasn't an operation or assignment from the Profit Circle. The Burning Wing is unknown. It isn't a place or thing. The Burning Wing is nothing more than a couple of words that dignify a meaning. Finnick teased that it was a password that would set the Capitol on Fire. But it wasn't a password. It was something personal. The Burning Wing name was me in the file Varick held on me on the hard drive I stole from him before I shot him. Dr. Caduceus knew what it was; just wanted to see my reaction.
"Done," I spat, leaving the room immediately.
.o0o.
I walked around the Nest, as I called the Jabberjays Headquarters, infuriated by another game of Varick's treatment of mind games. The Burning Wing was a name these people gave me with no definition other than a bird burning in hell. At least the Profit Circle gave me a symbolic term for Canary compared to the Jabberjays. Truly, what's with all the nicknames? There's nothing special about them other than a sentiment. If people hear Canary, they think of a yellow little bird singing a song, not a trained human weapon.
Everything is fun and games until somebody loses an eye…. I thought bitterly, then stopped. I can't believe I just thought of that. I guess there's no denying that I'm Haymitch's daughter.
I walked further down the corridor and ended up in a lounge area. The room seemed quiet, practically empty, and I was surprised there were no Avoxes here. Quinn told me that Avoxes are not servants here but allies and friends. To hear this felt like a chance of hope. People who were considered traitors to the Capitol should never be dubbed Avox and have their tongues mutilated. Suppose the rebels/insurgents win this war. In that case, the Avoxes will be free from their duties as servants and receive citizenship and equal rights. Lavinia helped me immensely through her times as an Avox and the others who raised me when young. I hope they are safe. With a sigh, I looked up ahead and stopped.
Cinna stood by the large window, watching the sunset over the mountains. Other than this morning, it has been a week since the last time we saw each other. We saw each other from afar, but neither had the courage to speak. A wall between us comprised lies, painful memories, and devastating truths. Now, our relationship is on thin ice. It's hardly fair for him to know me personally while I was kept in the dark. If he truly did love me during those agonizing three days of torture, he should have said something in the beginning. However, I felt guilty on the third day of interrogation for what I said to him, about him, and other things.
"Can we talk?" I asked quietly, walking up towards him.
"I was wondering if we would." Cinna breathed, turning around to face me.
"I wanted to apologize…. about the things I said."
"It's okay," he assured, leaning against the window and crossing his arms. "You don't have t-"
"I meant it," I confessed.
"I know." He agreed.
"I said some awful things…" I said.
"Yes, you did, but you had to," Cinna replied. I was surprised as he stepped forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I know it's not that you don't care about me, but it's because you don't love yourself."
His words were actually like a dagger. I inhaled sharply, trying to avoid tears from falling, except it failed. Since my mother's death, I hardly took care of myself and focused on others, starting with Haymitch. He would've drunk himself to death, and the list continues onward in protecting everyone from President Snow's secret destruction. There was a history of deaths in the Abernathy name, from family to friends. Being close to someone was painful to watch them get hurt.
"And that's okay." Cinna cradled my cheek with a reassuring smile, "Because I'm going to teach you."
With that said, he leaned forward, gently placing his lips over mine. Our lips molded to each other. Unlike our previous kisses, this was sensual, gentle, and loving. I ran my fingers into his hair, pressing my lips harder against his. Cinna moved his hands and wrapped me in a hug when we pulled back to breathe. We were both suffering in many shapes and forms that no one could understand but us.
"Promise…." I whispered.
Cinna pulled back, resting our foreheads together, "As you wish."
Thus ends part 2.
Inspiration from OO7 Skyfall and Nikita
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