To Capture the Heart of a Hero

Chapter 18 – Privacy

A few days.

That's how long Zelda managed to hold herself together. To bury herself in her work and act like nothing was wrong.

After Zelda and Link had finished discussing their plans to travel across Hyrule, their conversation on the balcony had ended unceremoniously, with Zelda excusing herself to go and attend to other matters. Which she did, vigorously. As pressing as the news of Link's relationship had initially been, Zelda now wanted to dwell on it as little as possible. She knew that thinking about such things would only bring her pain and sorrow, so she tried to distract herself by fully devoting all of her time towards her duties as Princess.

Fortunately, there was plenty of work to be done. There were discussions to be had with the Hyrule Council, plans to schedule, papers to sign, and dignitaries to meet. Zelda was honestly grateful to have so much work to focus on. At least it would allow her to forget about her troubles and do something productive instead of mope around in her heartbroken anguish.

However, in spite of her best efforts, thoughts about the Hero and his newfound relationship still plagued Zelda's mind on occasion. She couldn't help but imagine him spending time in Ordon Village with his new lover, as horrible a thought as that was. At times like this, the Princess would just clear her head and move on to the next task that was set before her, throwing her entire self wholeheartedly at it. She usually worked at a furious pace, hoping to leave little to no room for these intrusive thoughts.

Still, Zelda could constantly feel her negative emotions threatening to bubble up within her. Her feelings of sorrow and jealousy and frustration. Whenever this happened, Zelda just dealt with them in the only way that she knew how. She would suppress them. She would shut them away and ignore them completely, forcing them down so far inside of her heart that she could no longer feel a thing. After all, it was better to feel empty all the time instead of depressed and hurt. At least, that's what Zelda kept telling herself.

The only time when Zelda did allow herself to think about Link and his relationship was during one of her trips to the infirmary to visit her father. She wanted to inform him of what had ultimately happened with the situation, and how she was no longer interested in pursuing Link. To be honest, she felt quite ashamed to share this unfortunate news with her father. She had to basically admit that the man that she was interested in had slipped away from her, without her being able to do a single thing about it. She was supposed to be the Royal Princess of an entire Kingdom, and yet she had ultimately failed to make any sort of impression with the Hero. How could she be so powerless? So pathetic?

Naturally, Caius had tried to console her. He told her that it was all right, and that these sorts of things, while unfortunate, did happen. He insisted that she shouldn't blame herself for this development. Zelda just numbingly nodded at his attempts to comfort her, but in the end, she dismissed herself from the conversation, preferring to return to work instead of dwelling on these thoughts with him. Caius tried to convince her to stay, but she just refused. She had only come to share the news with him, after all. Not discuss it.

And so, Zelda continued to devote all of her time and energy towards her work. Day by day, she worked from dawn until dusk, only allowing herself some time to sleep when she felt too exhausted to think anymore. During this time, the Princess did manage to complete a number of assignments, but doing so many strenuous and time-consuming tasks had certainly started to take its toll on her. As the days dragged on, she slowly began to grow more and more weary. At one point, Fost even spoke up, worrying that the Princess might be pushing herself too hard. Zelda just ignored him though. He didn't understand her situation. She needed to do this. It was the only way that she would be able to keep functioning.

Unfortunately, Zelda could only focus on her work and suppress her emotions for so long before she eventually reached a breaking point. And that time came far sooner than she would have liked…

It happened one day, just out of the blue. A maid had delivered a stack of documents for Zelda to look over and sign her approval. She immediately set to work, but as she made her way through sheet after sheet, the work began to feel rather mindless. It didn't help that the Princess was already feeling rather numb, after having worked on so many other bothersome tasks that day.

Eventually, Zelda looked up from her papers to take a deep breath, attempting to focus once again. However, it was at this moment that Zelda happened to glance out the nearby window, and spot a single yellow flower that had been planted in a pot just outside. The plant itself must have just been placed there recently, for Zelda did not recall noticing it before, and its clay pot was filled with fresh, black dirt from the garden.

Suddenly, Zelda's eyes became glued to the flower as certain memories started to surface within her. She immediately tried to suppress them; to push them out of her mind, but it was too late. She was already recalling that one day in the garden. That day when she had stumbled upon the Hero, toiling around in that same black dirt. The look of guilt on his face. The way he laughed when he explained what had happened.

"Mmm…" Zelda suddenly whimpered.

The maid that was in the room with her immediately glanced over, wondering what she had just heard. "Are you all right, Princess?"

Zelda tore her eyes away from the plant, and glanced down at her hands. The one that held her quill over the documents was trembling ever so slightly. She tried to find her voice. "Um, I…I…"

More memories suddenly resurfaced. Link's smile. His look of appreciation. That time he had saved her from falling down the stairs…

Zelda nearly whimpered again. It was too much. She wasn't sure that she could keep her feelings bottled up any longer. She suddenly felt the need to retreat to her bedchamber, where she could be alone.

"I…don't feel very well," Zelda finally answered. "I think I might be a little tired."

The maid just gave the Princess a look of sympathy. "Of course, Your Highness. You've been working yourself silly the last few days."

"I wish to go and rest in my chambers for a bit," Zelda continued as she slowly rose to her feet. "Um…Would you be so kind as to let the other servants know not to disturb me?"

"Of course, Princess," the maid said with a curtsy. "It would be my pleasure."

"Thank you," Zelda said, before she quickly slipped out of the room. She couldn't stand to be in there any longer. She needed some privacy, and she needed it desperately.

After a short dash through the halls, Zelda made it to her bedchamber, and closed the door behind her. She then took a deep breath as she glanced around her room. She was completely alone.

Zelda tried to relax as she moved away from the door. She figured that this is what she needed. Some time to relax. Some time to decompress after working so hard the last few days.

Some time to be…vulnerable…

Zelda took a seat on one of her furnished chairs. She then frowned as she forced her eyes shut. She could feel her memories surfacing again, and with them, her emotions. Her heartache. Her frustration. She wished to suppress them just as she always did, but this time, she couldn't. The feelings welling up within her were far too powerful. They needed to be released, and there wasn't a single thing that Zelda could do to stop them.

With a small whimper, Zelda leaned forward and placed her head in her hands. A few tears managed to slip out of her eyes and run down her cheeks. A soft sob echoed in the back of her throat…

She was crying.

As she wept, Zelda immediately started berating herself. She had told herself that she wasn't going to cry. Not over something like this. Why should she? It wasn't like anything had been lost. In order to lose something, you needed to have ownership of it in the first place, and she certainly didn't possess any part of Link.

Stop it, Zelda told herself as a few more tears spilled out. This behavior is utterly foolish. Stop it at once!

But the flow of tears didn't cease. Her eyes forced them out on their own, her grief now on full display. She continued to frown as her lip quivered a bit. Her breaths escaped as shaky gasps. Her nose began to run as well, and she soon started sniffling.

What a horrible, wretched sight I must be…Sitting here and crying into my hands…And all for what? Because someone I was interested in chose to be with someone else?

Zelda released another light sob, but then clenched her teeth. As her sadness started to fade away, she could feel a new series of emotions rising up within her. Emotions that were more closely tied to her feelings of frustration. Anger. Annoyance. Disappointment. All of which were directed towards herself.

Zelda shook her head. How could she be so foolish? So selfish? Why did she feel sad over something as insignificant as this? Sure, it was disappointing, but wasn't there still a lot that she should be thankful for? Her Kingdom had been spared from the Twilight Invasion and her father was currently alive and on the road to recovery! She was able to lead a life of peace with her loved ones by her side! Would she have been able to say the same thing a few months ago?

And that wasn't all! Zelda also asked herself why she should be so sad when Link had managed to find happiness with someone else. Who cared if he hadn't found it with the Princess? At least the Hero was happy! Wasn't that all that really mattered?

You're so selfish, Zelda told herself as she clenched her teeth harder. You're a fool and a dolt and a coward. You have no right to suffer! Just get over it already!

But in spite of her harsh comments, coming to terms with this matter was easier said than done. Even now, Zelda still felt a twinge of sorrow within her. A desire for things to be different.

A desire…for her to be with Link…

Zelda sniffed, before grabbing a handkerchief and dabbing at her eyes and cheeks. It appeared as if her tears had stopped flowing, but her face was still damp. Even her breath continued to escape as short gasps while she tried to recollect herself.

A minute passed, and Zelda's gasps soon turned to deep breaths as she managed to calm down. She leaned back in her chair as she continued to wipe her face clean, before finally blowing her nose. After that, Zelda felt a bit more refreshed, although she was still rather sad. It had been nice to let all of her emotions loose for a change though.

Maybe I should do this more often, she thought to herself. I still feel depressed, but at least it's not painful. Instead, everything just feels…numb.

Zelda released a sigh. It wasn't like anyone had ever said that getting over a broken heart was going to be easy. She wondered how long this anguish would last. Would she still feel like this in a few weeks' time? In a few months even? And what was she supposed to do until then? Just keep crying and enduring her grief?

Zelda paused before shaking her head a bit. No, that wasn't how she did things. She was far too proactive to simply allow her sorrow to run its course. She preferred to take matters into her own hands, and that's exactly what she was going to do.

Feeling determined, Zelda soon rose to her feet and walked over to her vanity. There, she took a seat on the stool in front of her mirror and inspected her reflection. Even at a glance, it was clear that the Princess had been crying. The skin around her eyes was red and her cheeks were still a bit wet from the tears. She took a second to remove the white gloves from her hands. She then ran her fingers over her eyes and face, hoping to return them to normalcy. Once she was done, she looked back at the mirror, fiercely gazing into the reflection of her sapphire eyes.

Come on, Zelda, just move on already. You need to stop pining after someone that you can't have. It isn't going to work out, no matter how much you wish it to. And the sooner you can accept that, the better.

As she inwardly spoke these words, Zelda continued to stare at her reflection. She could still sense a bit of sadness lingering behind her eyes, but she refused to let her determination waver. She was going to be strong, and she would overcome this.

And your first step should be to stop displaying such ridiculous behavior whenever you're around him!

Zelda allowed herself a faint smile. Yes, this would be her goal. This had honestly been long overdue, but now Zelda fully intended to put this matter to rest. She would no longer act nervous or flustered around the Hero. No more blushing or stuttering or eye-averting. Such behaviors were pathetic, and there was truly no need for them! Not anymore, at least.

And she would not act depressed when she was around him either. No more sighing or pouting or spacing out. She didn't plan to completely suppress her emotions, but she felt like she could at least hide them away whenever she was around the Hero. The last thing she wanted to do was make Link worry or think that there was something wrong with her. She simply wanted to maintain the relationship that they had already forged before this point: just two friends who enjoyed each other's company. It was what Link deserved and it was the only thing that Zelda had left.

However, Zelda soon frowned and closed her eyes as she contemplated this new goal. How exactly was she to go about accomplishing this? She had already tried to compose herself a number of times when she was feeling nervous around the Hero, but each situation had ended with less than successful results. Usually, she just ended up running away or making excuses rather than confront the turmoil within her.

But this will change, Zelda told herself. I'll stop running away. I'll confront the Hero directly, and my feelings too if I have to. I'll constantly remind myself to stay strong and brave. If I can do that, then I know that I can overcome this. I will move on and put all of this behind me!

Zelda reopened her eyes, and stared back at her reflection once again. Her gaze was now sharp and determined. She was certain that she could do this!

Zelda took the rest of the day to relax and recuperate. Her weeping had left her feeling quite drained, not to mention she already felt rather exhausted after working nonstop for the last few days. She chose to remain in her bedchamber, enjoying the solitude and freedom from her obligations. She spent the remainder of her afternoon comfortably lounging on her furniture and reading a book. Once the evening rolled around, she finally chose to depart from her chambers, but only to secure a meal. She ate her dinner quickly and then returned to her room, where she decided to retire early for the night. After everything that she had experienced the last few days, sleep honestly felt like a blessing.

The next day, Zelda decided to continue taking her much-needed break from the work that she had recently buried herself in. She planned to return to her duties in the afternoon, but for now, she preferred to spend her morning in solitude. This time, however, she decided to depart from her bedchambers, and spend some time out in the sun. She grabbed both her bow and her rapier before making her way out into one of the courtyards.

Once she arrived, Zelda found a sequestered grove hidden between some of the tall hedges. A large tree had been planted inside of this gap, and it cast a cool shadow over the lawn below. The grove itself was not completely secluded, as it was open on one side that the hedges didn't cover, but Zelda felt like this spot would adequately offer the privacy that she desired.

Zelda carefully rested her bow against the tree, and then drew her rapier from its scabbard. Today, she intended to practice her martial skills. As a Princess, one of Zelda's duties was to always be ready for battle. From a young age, she had been taught how to fight, both for the sake of defending herself as well as aiding her Kingdom should war ever break out. Fortunately, her skill with both the blade and the bow had only ever been required on a handful of occasions, but Zelda still insisted on taking her practice very seriously. She never wanted to be in a battle where she was completely helpless, so she always tried to make sure that her skills weren't growing dull.

Zelda took a few steps away from the tree, where she then took up a battle position. She grasped her rapier with both hands and raised it up to her eyeline, pointing it at an imaginary foe. She held this stance for a moment before quickly slicing the blade through the air.

Woosh!

Zelda continued to move in a flurry of motion, swinging and thrusting the blade at her imaginary enemies. A rapier wasn't handled like your typical sword. It was a weapon that focused more on finesse and fast, precise movements; all of which were skills that Zelda felt she excelled at.

Today, she still donned her standard white and purple dress, the folds of which were gracefully twirling around her legs as she moved. She could have changed into something more battle-appropriate if she had wanted to, but it honestly wasn't necessary. She had been raised to wear this sort of thing all her life, and she was actually more than accustomed to fighting in a dress. And that wasn't the only thing, either. Running, horse-back riding; she could do it all.

Feeling confident, Zelda released another flurry of attacks, spinning a bit as she did so. She imagined herself slicing numerous enemies across the chest while she dodged beneath their own weapons. As she finished, she smirked a bit. She always enjoyed doing these types of exercises. They helped her stay in shape as well as build confidence. Not to mention, she felt that keeping track of these precise movements helped her mind stay sharp.

This was exactly the sort of thing that she needed today. Time away from the castle and her duties, and more importantly, time away from her dark and depressing thoughts. Now that she was outside, she could feel the warm rays of the sun and breathe the fresh air. There were no distractions out here. No annoying Ministers or intrusive thoughts. It was just her and her sword, whirling through the air. Zelda simply smiled. In this moment, she felt as free as a bird.

As she finished her next slice, something suddenly caught Zelda's eye from above. She glanced up to spot a single green leaf dancing in the breeze. It seemed to have just freshly fallen from the tree, and was now making its way towards the ground. Zelda just watched the leaf continue to dance innocently for a moment before an idea came to mind.

Feeling a bit daring, she drew her weapon back, all while watching the leaf's movements carefully. It continued to float on the breeze, casually swaying back and forth. Zelda patiently waited for just the right moment before she thrust her sword forward.

Fwip! She successfully pierced the leaf right through its center, halting its descent.

With a satisfied smile, Zelda brought the blade of her rapier back to her side. She then carefully removed the leaf, sliding it along the metal until it was free. As far as she was concerned, her skills were still top-notch.

Zelda continued to practice for the next ten minutes, dancing around the grove just as the leaf had been. She tried to focus on maintaining her swiftness, as well as her poise. The last thing that she would ever want to do in a battle was lose her balance.

However, the time for Zelda to slip up came far sooner than she could have possibly imagined. As she twirled around to release another thrust into the air, something caught her eye once again. Something that wasn't there before. A shadowy figure appeared to be sitting in the corner of the grove, and it was facing towards her.

As Zelda went to land, she turned her head, trying to get a better glimpse of the mysterious shadow. It only took a second before a shocking jolt ran through her body. She immediately recognized this person, and she hadn't expected him to be there at all!

"Link!?" she exclaimed, feeling stunned.

Suddenly, Zelda hit the ground as she finished her thrust. Unfortunately, she was far too distracted by this sudden reveal, and quickly lost her footing. She stumbled forward, nearly tripping into the hedge next to her. Thankfully, she was able to catch herself just short of the bush.

"Oh no," Link's voice came from behind her. "Zelda, are you okay?"

Zelda just stared at the hedge with wide eyes as she took a deep breath. She was glad to have avoided this collision, but she was still stunned by the discovery of the Hero's presence. As he ran up to her, she immediately turned to face him.

"Link, what are you doing here?" she gasped, placing a hand over her agitated heart. "You nearly scared me half to death!"

Link soon reached her, looking both concerned and guilty. "Sorry Zelda. I didn't mean to surprise you like that. I just happened to be passing by when I saw you practicing here."

"Why didn't you say something?" Zelda pressed him. "I had no idea that you were here."

"I didn't want to disturb you," Link admitted. "You seemed to be really into your practice."

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"Just a few minutes. Your form looked quite good, and I wanted to stop and observe." Link then paused before looking a little sheepish. "Um…I hope that's okay…"

Zelda just stared at him for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh. "Yes, it's fine, Link. I just wish that you had announced your presence before I had the joy of discovering it so haphazardly."

Link hung his head in shame. "Sorry, Zelda."

"Forget it," she said, shaking her head. "Fortunately, I'm pretty light on my feet, so there's no harm done." She then paused before eyeing the Hero up and down. "What are you doing here at the castle, anyway? I thought that you had returned to Ordon Village."

Link nodded. "I did, but only for a few days. Rusl ended up crafting a shield and he asked me to deliver it here." He then laughed a bit. "I swear, I make the trip between here and Ordon so much that sometimes I feel like I'm nothing more than a glorified messenger."

Zelda smirked a little, amused at his sense of humor. "Well, it's nice to know that we can always rely on you. I'm sure that Rusl appreciates it."

"Right," Link agreed. "And honestly, I don't mind the trip here so much. Like I said before, this castle kind of feels like a second home to me now."

"I'm happy to hear that," Zelda said with a nod. She then fell silent for a moment. She felt like she wanted to say more, but she hesitated. Before long, her smile faltered as well.

In the back of her mind, Zelda slowly recalled that she was supposed to be in turmoil because of the man that stood before her. Memories of the day before began to resurface; images of the Princess crying in her bedchamber now fresh in her mind. Even now, she felt rather torn up about the whole thing. Was it really okay for the two of them to be speaking so casually like this?

Meanwhile, as Zelda was lost in thought, an awkward silence seemed to have settled over them. Link just stared at Zelda, waiting for her to continue, but no such moment came. Eventually, he frowned and took a step back. "Um, anyway, I should probably get going then. I don't want to keep you from your practice."

Zelda suddenly blinked, snapping out of her trance. She silently cursed herself for getting distracted so easily. "Oh, you don't have to go, Link. You're more than welcome to stay and keep me company."

"Are you sure?" Link asked.

Zelda nodded. "Of course. To be honest, I've probably gotten enough practice with the rapier for today, anyway." She then paused for a second. It was only at this moment that Zelda became aware of just how sweaty she had become after her exercises. She immediately looked away from the Hero and began brushing some of her disorderly hair back into place. "Goodness, I must look like a mess right now."

Link just stared at her for a second before laughing and shaking his head. "Of course not. I think you look fine," he assured her with a smile.

Zelda just turned away some more as her face adopted a deep shade of red. Why was he complimenting her like this? Didn't he realize that it was torture for her?

"Um…You're too kind," Zelda whispered back. She then turned away completely before he had a chance to say anything else. She walked over to the nearby tree where she promptly sheathed her sword back in its scabbard. With her back turned to Link, she took a second to try and compose herself.

Come on, Zelda. You told yourself that you were going to stop acting like this in front of him, didn't you? It's time for you to keep your word. Stop behaving like such a nervous fool!

Taking a deep breath, Zelda managed to get her blush under control, and also steady her nerves. She planned to suppress her emotions again, but she promised to not do it as excessively as she had the last few days. She would only do it enough to keep a level head.

Zelda soon turned back around. "So, how long are you planning to stay this time?"

"Not for too long," Link replied. "I'll probably hang around until lunch is served, and then I'll head back to Ordon this afternoon."

"I see," Zelda said with a slow nod. To be honest, she felt a little relieved to know that he would be leaving so soon. She still enjoyed his company and his friendship of course, but for the sake of her own mental health, Zelda didn't really want him hanging around the castle for any longer than what was necessary.

"Unless," Link suddenly continued, "you or the Hyrule Council have anything that you need me to do while I'm here?"

Zelda thought about this, but soon shook her head. "No," she said, sounding a little blunt.

Link stared at Zelda for a second, looking somewhat curious, but he soon shrugged. "Well in that case, my schedule is clear. What about you? Do you have a lot of work to get to?"

"Not until this afternoon," Zelda replied. She crouched down and retrieved her bow before holding it up. "I was planning to practice my archery until then."

"Is that so?" Link asked, suddenly looking interested. "In that case, do you mind if I join you?"

Zelda raised her eyebrows. "You would like to watch?"

"No, I'd actually like to participate, if that's all right."

Zelda blinked. Participate? He wanted to practice archery as well? This surprised her a bit, but she still maintained her composure. "Very well," she replied with a shrug. "I'll gladly show you to our shooting range."

"Great," Link said with a smile. He then began walking away. "Let me just stop by the stable so I can get my bow from Epona's saddlebags."

"Go ahead," Zelda dismissed him. "I'll be waiting here."

As the Hero disappeared from sight, Zelda frowned and felt her shoulders slump a bit. So much for her morning of solitude. She had just signed away the rest of her free time to Link, the man who was responsible for her current heartbreak and state of mind. The Princess knew that she wanted to confront the Hero and overcome her grief, but why did it have to be so soon? Would she really be able to survive an entire morning alone with him? All without acting too nervous or too dejected? Even she wasn't so sure how this was going to turn out…

With a small sigh, Zelda decided to bow her head and release a silent prayer.

Goddesses give me strength…

I've been listening to the song "Cupid" by Fifty Fifty a lot recently. I feel that it describes Zelda's situation (and this story in general) pretty accurately. At the very least, it gets me in the right headspace when it comes time to write.