Hello everyone!
Sweet mercy I am LUCKY I was able to post today after those last two episodes of the Bad Batch. Luckily I needed to distract myself from the DEVASTATION those episodes caused, so I wrote. It was still kind of hard considering the subject matter.
Man, those episodes DESTROYED ME. Like, second only to Tech's fall. I continue to firmly believe that CX-2 is Tech. In fact, those episodes made me more firmly believe it. Because Point of No Return is not nearly as tragic if CX-2 is NOT Tech. It hurts so bad because we see how badly the Empire has twisted him, to the point that he is actively destroying what he loves. I still have hope he can come back though. Great now I'm thinking about the episode and I am now hurting again. At least I don't have to wait a year this time.
Sorry, you're probably not here to listen to me ramble too much about the Bad Batch. But yeah, for my birthday I got: extremely evil and cruel Tech, Omega sacrificing herself, Pabu almost burning, Crosshair missing, and the Empire EXPERIMENTING ON CHILDREN! If anyone says 'The Empire did nothing wrong' to me, even as a joke, I will not handle it well. Oh, my mom also 3d-printed me a Tech helmet, so that's a plus.
Also did y'all see the Tales of the Empire trailer? It looks SO GOOD!
So, this is actually the final chapter of Absolved! Next posting day will be the prologue to the third and final section of Across the Stars. Name pending. I might need to go on hiatus soon to build up some ideas and content, but I'll try to keep things going until The Bad Batch ends.
ZabuzasGirl: Thank you as always!
OneLittleSpark18: Well, it's becoming clear that I think like a Star Wars writer because things keep getting weirdly similar in the show to my fics! Like little, odd details too. I wrote in Fives Effect that Cad Bane would throw the credits at his informants so they had to pick them up off the ground….and then that happened in the Bad Batch. And thank you so much on all accounts! I got clone trauma for my birthday!
LothCat99: Thank you! And Omega sacrificed herself on my birthday…so I don't know if that's lucky. You'll get Tales of the Empire out in your birthday month! KEEP THE CX-2 IS TECH BELIEF ALIVE BECAUSE IT ACTIVELY MAKES THE STORY BETTER AND ALSO MORE HURTING AND TRAGIC!
Hardcase501: I try not to be lol
All right, let's wrap up this part of the story!
Mando'a translations at the end!
ABSOLVED: Chapter 44
Omega stared blankly at the datapad before her. The sun filtering through the gunner's mount created a glare that made it difficult to see what was on the pad. She didn't reposition herself. She couldn't quite muster up enough caring to do it. In the week since her brothers had brought her home, she felt as if she could only feel panic- or nothing at all.
"Omega."
Omega turned to see Tech at the ladder of her room.
"You have not progressed in the reading material in some time." He said. He was worried. Omega saw it and she felt it. "Do you require assistance in understanding anything?"
Omega shrugged. Tech was quiet, but didn't leave.
"You do not have to study if you do not wish to." He said. "I only suggested it as a possible diversion."
Omega shrugged again. Tech still didn't go.
"You are calm." He said. "Perhaps- we could attempt to take a blood sample."
Omega felt every muscle in her body go rigid.
"We do not-" Tech started.
"Okay." Omega blurted out.
Tech blinked and then gave her a tiny smile. He reached his hand out to Omega. She took it and he helped her down from her room.
"Would you like one of the others to be with you?" Tech asked.
"Yes." Omega whispered.
She didn't want to do this. But she needed to. If they wanted to fix what was wrong with her, they needed to look at her blood.
Omega glanced at the racks as she and Tech passed them. Crosshair was curled away from them, but it seemed he was sleeping. That was good. Omega knew he was struggling to fall asleep these days.
"I dunno if this is a good idea, Tech." Wrecker said a few minutes later, even as he settled Omega in his lap.
Hunter and Echo watched with concerned eyes.
"This is necessary." Tech said. "And I would prefer to do it as soon as possible as to not prolong Omega's anxiety.
Omega almost felt safe as Wrecker held her closely. Almost.
The feeling wavered as she stretched her arm out for Tech. It crumbled when Tech took out the device to take her blood. She had to hold on to Wrecker as hard as she could when Tech wiped her hand with disinfectant.
Her head was growing cloudy. Where-? The voice explaining something to her seemed familiar, but all she could see was the device in their hand.
A needle pierced her skin.
"No!" Omega screamed.
She was back on Tantiss-
Hemlock had her again-
She was alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone ALONE ALONE ALONE.
She pushed out with everything she had. Whoever was holding her down held on tighter. She fought against it furiously. She heard a snap and a gasp and she scuttled away. She hit the ground hard, knocking the air from her lungs.
"Don't touch her!"
The sharp voice made her cringe. But then it came again, gentle. Not Hemlock. It was too kind to be Hemlock.
"Omega, it's Echo." The voice said. "You're with your brothers on the Havoc Marauder. You're safe."
The voice repeated the words until they made sense to Omega. She blinked and saw Echo's pale face in front of her.
"Here we are." Echo said. "It's all right. Take a deep breath, vod'ika."
Omega tried, but she caught sight of Wrecker standing a few feet away. He watched them, worried, but Omega was focused on the way he cradled his wrist.
"Wrecker?" She asked. "What- are you okay?"
A horrifying thought occurred to her.
"Did I do that?" She asked.
"It was my fault." Wrecker said. "I tried to-"
Omega didn't listen. She looked around wildly. Where were Hunter and Tech?
She found them, Hunter crouched over Tech. Tech- wasn't moving.
"Tech!" She cried. "Tech! What did I do? What's wrong with me?"
"Hey." Echo said. "Hey. He's okay. He's just unconscious."
Omega barely felt it when he pulled her to him and stroked her head with his hand. She'd caught sight of Crosshair. He was staring towards them with milky eyes. He seemed- scared.
Even over her own panicked breathing she could hear Crosshair's frightened demands for what was going on.
The fragile foundation Omega had built since coming home cracked.
Everything was wrong. She'd hurt her brothers-
She'd hurt her brothers.
She'd hurt her brothers.
She'd hurt her brothers she'd hurt her brothers she'd hurt her brothers she'd hurt her brothers-
Hold still, Omega.
Omega resisted, straining against the straps holding her down. Hemlock stood above her, cold eyes gleaming. The bodies of her brothers lay scattered at his feet.
Please! Omega begged. Let me go! I can save them!
Now, why would I want that? Hemlock purred. You're alone now. No hope. Hold still. Or it will hurt worse.
The needle hovered above her eye, ready to plunge-
Omega gasped, the world around her coming into sharp focus. She gulped down another swallow of air. She looked around, remembering the thud that had woken her.
She found Crosshair sprawled at the foot of the gunner's ladder.
"Crosshair!" She whispered. "What are you doing?"
Crosshair clumsily got to his knees.
"I could hear you." He muttered. He stared sightlessly at the wall. "You were having a nightmare."
Omega, still shaking, climbed down to his side. He pulled away slightly as she tried to help him up.
"Crosshair!" She said.
His anger, frustration, shame, and fear was making her feel sick. Was- this part of what Hemlock had done to her? How had he made her so intune with the emotions around her?
And how had he made her hurt her brothers?
Omega swallowed the thought and focused on Crosshair. It helped.
Crosshair sighed and let her position herself under his they got him to his feet. Omega led him back to his bunk with short, fumbling steps.
"Are you all right?" Crosshair mumbled as he lay down.
"I'm okay." Omega lied. "Crosshair, you shouldn't have tried-"
"It's three steps!" Crosshair snapped. "I should be able to make it three steps!"
Omega flinched at his harsh tone, but took his hand. He didn't pull away.
They had spent a lot of the last week like this. Together, with Omega holding Crosshair's hand, grounding him. He was so scared all the time, but Omega helped him be less afraid. And focusing on him made Omega able to not think about what had been done to her.
"You're lying." Crosshair muttered. "What happened earlier- it wasn't 'okay'."
"What- did happen?" Omega ventured. "I don't remember much."
Crosshair shook his head angrily.
"I don't know." He spat. "They didn't tell me anything, just that you were asleep and needed to rest. But I heard Wrecker get hurt and Echo shouting."
A thrill of guilt and fear ran down Omega's spine and started to swell in her stomach.
"Where are they?" She asked.
"They're arguing." Crosshair said dully. "What else would they be doing?"
"What do they have to argue about?" Omega asked. "It can't be just me, they've fought every day since we came home."
Crosshair shrugged. Now that her attention was brought to it, Omega could feel the anger and fear coming from the cockpit.
She stood up. For a moment, she was light headed. Her body still felt so weak.
"Where are you going?" Crosshair asked quickly.
"They know more than us." Omega said. She found anger that belonged to her inside. "And it's making them fight. I hate it."
There wasn't the peace she had craved while at Tantiss here. They all treated Omega as tenderly as they ever had, but there was a tension between each other that made Omega sick.
And they knew something about what was wrong with her.
She crept up to the cockpit door. After listening carefully for a moment, the rumbling voices shaped into words.
"I trust Commander Tano!" That was Echo. "She's not even a Jedi anymore!"
"If she knows, the rest know." Hunter said firmly. "And I'm not risking that."
"But if it could help her-" Wrecker said.
"Omega's issue is that she has developed PTSD. That is likely the source of her- outbursts." Tech said.
A small needle of relief pricked a tiny release to her fear. Tech was alive, and at least well enough to lecture. But- outbursts?
"Outbursts?" Echo said, as if he could hear Omega's thoughts. "Wrecker nearly had a compound fracture! And she threw you across the room! If you had hit the wrong thing, you wouldn't have been walking away with just a bump on the head! She needs to learn to control this!"
The relief froze over. Omega swallowed. So it was her fault.
"The Jedi teach their students to abandon attachments." Tech said. His voice was quiet; Omega could barely hear him. But she had never heard him sound so- sharp. "If we allow them to take Omega, it is not likely she will return to us."
Oh. Oh.
Things fell into place. Her brothers were afraid of the Jedi taking her. That had to mean that she- could be a Jedi. And she was able to feel her brothers' emotions in a way she'd never had before Tantiss. That was something Jedi could do, right? Then there was the strange way she had known Hemlock was going to shoot Crosshair. And Hemlock's blaster bolt had fizzed out when her head had hurt. And-
Couldn't Jedi push? Push in a way that could snap wrists and throw people across the room?
Omega opened the cockpit door. Her four brothers inside froze. Wrecker nursed a casted wrist and Tech held a cold pack to the back of his head.
"Omega." Hunter finally said. "I thought you were-"
"Why didn't you tell me?" Omega finally found the words. "Tell us? Crosshair and I have been terrified!"
"Omega-" Echo said.
Omega didn't want answers quite yet.
"I can use the Force?" She demanded. "Hemlock made me into a Jedi?"
"That is not technically correct." Tech said, but Hunter spoke over him.
"Omega, we didn't want to worry you-"
"I'm the one he experimented on!" Omega couldn't stop her voice from rising or the tears dripping down her cheeks. "I'm the one who went through it! I'm the one who's hurting you because I don't know what's happening!"
Hunter reached for her but she shook his hand away.
"No!" She said. "You should have told me! You should have told Crosshair!"
She took a shaking breath. Hunter held his hand as if she had burned him. Maybe- maybe she had.
"Take me to see Commander Tano." She said.
Hunter's eyes hardened.
"No." He said.
"Hunter!" Echo snapped.
"I- we are not letting her go!" Hunter snapped. "Tech's right. They can't afford to not take her!"
"It's my-" Omega started.
"This isn't up for debate!" Hunter said. "Omega, go back to bed."
"But-"
"Go back to bed!" Hunter said in a voice harsher than Omega had ever heard from him.
She took a step back. A tiny part of her realized that her brothers had been scarred by her capture too. But his voice had mostly scared her. She stumbled back and as the cockpit door closed, she heard Wrecker shout.
"You're makin' things worse-"
Even with the door closed, their voices had risen far above anything Omega had heard outside of battle.
Crosshair reached out for her as she made her dazed way back to her room.
"Did I hear that right?" He hissed. "That bastard made you a Jedi?"
Omega almost nodded, before remembering.
"I think so." She whispered. The anger sloshing from the cockpit made Omega feel like she was drowning. "Hunter- won't let us tell anyone."
Crosshair was quiet for a long time.
"Here." He whispered, pulling something out from under his pillow. He hesitated before Omega took his hand. He pressed a comm into her palm. "Do what you need to do."
Omega took it.
"Thank you." She said.
Crosshair squeezed her hand.
"Hunter isn't always right." He said.
Hunter sat alone in the cockpit, head in his hands. His ears still seemed to ring with shouts. Especially Tech's. Tech had snapped in a way that Hunter hadn't seen- well, since Omega's absence, but before that, since they were cadets. He'd screamed expletives, not necessarily at them, and was currently locked in the refresher with his helmet's complete noise canceling.
Hunter was a fool. He had thought that things were going to be normal once Omega came home.
He tightened his grip on his hair. That bastard. He wished he'd been there with Crosshair to slaughter that doctor. Make him feel the way Hunter's family felt now. Make him feel the pain Omega felt now.
And kriff he was confused. He thought he was doing the right thing, but Omega and Wrecker's shouting and Echo's lecturing had shaken that belief.
He didn't know what to do. He knew so little about the Force, about what Omega was going through. Tech might be able to-
The proximity sensor pinged. Hunter jerked his head up and looked out the cockpit viewport. He couldn't see anything.
He opened the cockpit door. Echo, sitting at the comm array, shot him a glare.
"Did you call anyone?" Hunter demanded.
Echo's hard stare became sharper.
"No." He said. "At least, not yet."
Hunter glowered at him before turning to lower the ramp. He tensed, ready to bring it back up if he needed to.
Commander Tano stood there, hands clasped behind her back.
Hunter whipped around.
"Echo-" He snapped.
"Echo didn't contact me." Commander Tano interjected. "It was Omega."
Hunter stared at her. He- didn't know how to feel. He knew how to reprimand his men for insubordination, but not his sister.
What was she doing?
A horrifying thought came to Hunter. What if Omega wanted to leave them? They had failed her so badly. What if their protection wasn't enough anymore?
"Sergeant." Commander Tano said. "May I come in and speak to Omega?"
Her calm words still managed to trigger something in Hunter.
"You're not taking her!" He growled.
"Hunter!" Echo said.
Commander Tano just raised an eyebrow.
"That will be her choice." She said. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here."
Hunter fought the ingrained urge to listen to a Jedi and his need to protect his squad.
"Hunter." Echo said from behind. "I trust her. With anything."
Hunter looked into Commander Tano's eyes.
"The Jedi don't allow attachments." Hunter said.
"Should I remind you that I'm currently married?" Commander Tano said. "I'm no Jedi. I won't take Omega away from you. And I don't want to."
Hunter didn't know if he believed her, but he finally nodded and let her in.
Wrecker looked up from a crash seat, where he'd been uncharacteristically quiet. Crosshair tilted his head towards them.
Omega was already peeking out of her room. Once she saw Commander Tano, she pushed the curtain aside.
"Hello, Omega." Commander Tano said.
"Hello." Omega said. "Commander- like I said, we- we think that Hemlock turned me into a Jedi."
Commander Tano smiled.
"That's not possible." She said. "Force sensitive, maybe. But being a Jedi is more than being able to sense emotions or throw things with your mind."
Omega nodded.
"The easiest way to confirm this," Commander Tano went on. "Is a blood test."
She pulled out a small device and Omega immediately recoiled. Hunter took a step forward.
"Commander," He said. "Omega- isn't comfortable with-"
"I have eyes, Sergeant." Commander Tano said. She stowed the device away. "There are other ways. Omega, look at me."
Omega did so. The ship was quiet. Wrecker, Echo, and Crosshair listened intently.
"Omega, I want you to show me the reasons why you think you're Force sensitive." Commander Tano said. "Without words. Convince me."
Omega's brow furrowed slightly. Hunter frowned as vague impressions came to his mind. A white room. A blaster bolt hanging in the air. The feeling of pushing.
"You're all feeling that, correct?" Commander Tano asked.
"Yes." Hunter said.
Echo and Wrecker nodded. Crosshair didn't move, but he looked disturbed.
"You don't have much control." Commander Tano said to Omega. "But it's clear to me that you possess a strong connection to the Force."
"But I wasn't always like this." Omega said quietly.
Hunter's heart ached at the look on her face.
"I know." Commander Tano said. "But I wasn't always like the way I am now either. Palpatine had the same experiment I went through done to you."
"Wait," Wrecker interjected. "You were really sick after that happened to you. Will Omega-"
"No." Commander Tano said. "I was already Force sensitive. That experiment pushed me to a destructive level. The experiment made you, Omega, around the same level as an average Jedi. But without the control."
Omega nodded.
"So what do we do?" She asked.
"I can train you to control this." Commander Tano said. "I won't make you become a Jedi. I won't even make you accept my help. This is up to you, Omega."
"Omega-" Hunter started.
"It's up to her." Commander Tano said.
The ship was quiet as Omega looked down and considered.
"Yes." She finally said. "I want to train with you. But- will I have to leave my brothers?"
Hunter was surprised and- soothed to see the compassion in Commander Tano's eyes.
"No." She said. "No, you won't. I've been assigned to Ossus as part of the planet's defense. As long as your brothers are all right with hanging around there, I don't see a problem."
Omega looked to Hunter with worried eyes.
"Not a problem at all." Hunter said.
Omega smiled the broadest smile Hunter had seen on her face since her return. It still- wasn't as wide as before. But it was a start.
For the first time, Hunter believed that this was for the best.
"I would suggest we give ourselves some time before beginning." Commander Tano said. "You've been through so much. Spend some time with your brothers."
Omega perked up at that.
"Thank you, Commander." She said.
"Call me Ahsoka." Commander Tano smiled and turned as if to leave.
She paused, glancing at Crosshair. Crosshair somehow knew she was looking at him and shifted away slightly.
"Do you need something?" He finally asked, though his normal bite was absent.
"Crosshair, there have been stories of blind Jedi that used the Force as their eyes." She said.
Hunter's stomach jolted. She was approaching Crosshair? Did that mean-
"I'm not Force sensitive." Crosshair said with a bitter laugh.
Commander Tano cocked her head.
"No, I don't think you are." She said. "But every living thing has a connection to the Force. Some of us were just born with a stronger bond to it than others. With the right amount of dedication, I could teach every person on this ship to use the Force."
"Wouldn't it be easier to just heal my eyes?" Crosshair asked. "Isn't that something Jedi can do?"
Commander Tano folded her arms, uncomfortable. Hunter thought he could hear her heart beat slightly faster.
"If we had a better healer, yes." She said. "But the one we had- well- chose a different path. And I'm nowhere skilled enough to heal something as complicated as eyes."
Crosshair huffed and turned away.
"Crosshair," Omega said. "We could train together. You could help me. Please."
Hunter smiled as Crosshair tilted his head back towards her. She knew exactly how to demolish Crosshair's stubborn defenses.
"I'll sit in on sessions." Crosshair said. "And I might pick something up. But I am not becoming a Jedi."
"No one's asking you to." Commander Tano said.
Hunter was relieved, if truth be told. It would ease some of his anxiety if Crosshair was with Omega during the training. Echo trusted Commander Tano, and so did Hunter to a certain extent. But- he couldn't help but worry.
He could never help but worry.
Ahsoka strode through the bustle of Yavin's shipyard, looking for her husband. She received many nods, mostly from clones. There were far more natborn soldiers here than she expected. Using both their bond and the sound of his shouting, Ahsoka quickly found Rex directing soldiers and shuttles from the top of a crate. He caught her eye and beckoned to Jesse to take his place. He leapt down and pulled her beneath a shuttle.
"How'd it go?" He asked, taking her arms and kissing her cheek. It astounded Ahsoka how easily he showed his affection in public now. Well, at least in places that they could be seen. "Do you have a padawan now?"
"Ha ha." She said. "That's a Jedi term."
"I haven't noticed that much of a difference, honestly." Rex said with a shrug. "And don't say that the difference is me. General Skywalker's still says he's a Jedi and he's flaunting his family everywhere now."
"I don't think Omega's brothers would like me calling her my padawan." Ahsoka said. "Hunter looked ready to close the ship and fly to the Unknown Regions when he saw me."
"Poor kid." Rex said, rubbing Ahsoka's arm. "She sounded close to tears when she told me that Hunter and Tech weren't listening to her."
"They were convinced I was going to take her and train her to sever all ties." Ahsoka said. "Not unfounded, if it were a lot of Jedi. But no. I couldn't do that to them. Not after what I saw them go through."
Rex nodded, eyes soft.
"Thank you for helping them." He said.
"Was I supposed to leave them all to wallow in misery?" Ahsoka asked. "I couldn't help but try and help them when I felt what was going on in that ship."
It had been one of the most fear filled places she'd been. She had been glad to alleviate some of it. She'd even managed to get Tech out of a spiral while she'd been saying her goodbyes. And there was hope there now.
She realized that Rex was looking at her with adoration.
"I love you." He murmured. He gently placed his hand on her stomach. "And I love you."
Ahsoka was suddenly hit with the fact that he would be leaving, going to establish their presence in the galaxy. Gone, while their baby grew. And it hurt.
"I love you." She told him. "And I'm talking for both of us."
Rex took her into his arms.
"When do you leave?" Ahsoka asked him.
"Early tomorrow, if things go well." He said. "I'm taking Fives, Jesse, and Kix. Echo too, if he'll come. But I'm sending Tup with you. So you know who you need to say goodbye to."
"Right." Ahsoka said. "Keep them safe. And yourself safe."
Rex cupped her cheek.
"Yes, sir."
He kissed her gently.
"I'll go say my goodbyes." Ahsoka said when he finally pulled away. "Comm me when you're leaving."
"Wait." Rex said, taking her by her shoulders. "One more thing."
He leveled a serious gaze at her.
"You stop blaming yourself about Palpatine."
A strain of cold streaked its way through the warmth he inspired in Ahsoka.
"How did you know?" She asked.
"Your defenses aren't up quite as high when you're asleep." Rex said. "It's not your fault."
Ahsoka looked away.
"I'll try." She said. "I love you."
"I love you."
They kissed one more time and then turned from each other. As she walked away, Ahsoka heard a whisper from the Force for the first time since Palpatine had escaped. His war would not last. But neither would her peace.
Mando'a:
Vod'ika: little sibling
Yaaaaay Omega is traumatized. Like we all are now.
Fun fact: Do not touch someone while they are having a PTSD attack. You ground them by telling them where they are and that they are safe. That's why Echo waits to hold her until she knows where she is. Also Echo is probably the best equipped to handle Omega's flashbacks.
The idea of Crosshair falling over to try and get to his siblings while BLIND is incredibly sad to me. So I added it.
Hunter and Tech are definitely in the wrong here, but I hope you can see where they are coming from. They don't have much experience with the Jedi and honestly, the Jedi could be desperate. And they have their own trauma from Omega being torn away from them.
Okay, I SWEAR I wrote this scene where Crosshair trusts Omega to make her own decision and lets her do something Hunter would refuse to do BEFORE The Point of No Return….where Crosshair trusts Omega to make her own decision and lets her do something Hunter would refuse to do. JUST HIRE ME ALREADY DISNEY LET ME WRITE OFFICIAL CLONE ANGST.
So yeah, fun fact, during my emotional breakdowns, I swear a LOT more. And I'm often really mad at myself so a lot of that swearing goes towards me. So Tech gets a moment for that.
Ahsoka comes in and begins to fix everything! Also, I know it wasn't the most popular choice with certain fans, but I love what the Ahsoka show did for training people in the Force. So I get to slip Crosshair into training.
Man, Hunter has so much anxiety.
One last Rexsoka scene for this part of the story!
Oof, I'd give more comments, but I'm up too late and I'm exhausted from staying up for the Bad Batch.
Stay safe, remember to review, and I'll see you in a few weeks!