Day 207

Good news and bad news.

The good news is that Reaper lives. She was already moving away from Tokyo when the nuke struck; the shockwave almost killed her anyway, but that Abyssal resistance and her own hardiness saw her through. She is currently resting off the coast of Japan to repair her systems and will make her way home soon enough.

On second thought, this is great news rather than merely good. We had another little party when the Abyss told me. It will never not be weird how knowledge just pops into my head, but I really could not care less today. This also neatly solves the moral dilemma of what to do with China; I can just do nothing and see what happens next. Still feel bad about Japan getting screwed over, but the nuke was far beyond any response I expected. So I am not taking responsibility for that.

Now for the bad news. They were not life-threateningly bad, but my sanity definitely was threatened today. I am honestly surprised it took so long, considering we had access to the Internet for a while.

Ariel stumbled upon more porn. And this time the others saw.

Although this is the only reason today was not a good day, it certainly contributed to making it a hassle. Having to explain this subject, again, to a bunch of human-adjacent beings that have no idea about any of it was more than a little weird. The only saving grace is that the Abyss thankfully took out all of it when appropriating shipgirl designs for its own use. No weird experiments, no sudden descent into depravity. None of that, thank you very much.

Honestly, it was nowhere near as bad as it could have been. The girls are a little fascinated with the subject, if mainly because it is so alien to them. At least we have the internet to answer whatever questions they have, which was a bunch. Last I checked on them before turning in, they were looking up all kinds of fetishes and laughing at them.

So yes, I really hope they grow bored with it soon and I can forget about this.

Day 210

Frostbite started building her first wave of forward bases. She made two more Mi-Class ships and I lent her Orion to help with the building; the poor girl was getting stir-crazy back at Haven.

Sapphire is out scouting as per usual, with my core of Demons ready for rapid deployment if she finds any threats. Battleship, carrier, and destroyer. Thinking of it that way, it all turned out quite well in little more than half a year. I have a working economy, my fleet is small but strong, and we may be looking toward a calm time ahead. That is, assuming nobody else decides to come knocking.

I also may have accidentally caused World War 3, which would be deeply ironic for reasons of my German heritage. But again, I take no responsibility for the nuke. I just sent the kaiju.

Anyway, I still have no complaints about Frostbite as my neighbour. She comes by every other day to meet for tea and discuss expansion plans. We also go over technology I am planning to research; now that she wants to expand the teleporter network, it will be prudent to improve their reach. Those techs are not cheap, but they will save us literal tons of resources in the future. Improved repair speed has to go on the backburner again, though I doubt Reaper would benefit much from it in her state.

The first few mines Orion once dug are running dry, too. Ionia told me as much after making today's delivery, hence why there was a lower turnout. Soon enough I will have to rely solely on my own generation and what Frostbite gives me. It feels not quite right to put this in her hand, but I can not really do much about it beside expanding.

Or can I?

It just occurred to me that I can transmute one element into another and that every common rock counts for that. Same for the ocean. Why did it take me this long to realise?

So yes, I have a fallback plan for such a time that our mines run out. I just need to be careful where I take the materials from.

Day 211

Did a test run of the transmutation thing, it works like a charm. I filled my loading bay with sea water and transmuted it into steel. That is resource issues resolved.

In other news, I noticed that Ariel made accounts on several websites. She even has an E-mail account now. One site is a web forum like where I used to hang out, though not the same one. Nothing I recognise, and I will not go to check if any of those has an equivalent here. I know Youtube exists at least.

Point is, Ariel talks to people online. I am not monitoring her, but she tells me that nobody figured out her being an Abyssal so far. Just some comments on the profile picture being herself, read an Abyssal. Not the weirdest thing in the world, though. Going by what Jeanne let slip to embarass her sister, Ariel looks up a lot of the things that come up in conversations.

As far as approaches to learning go, this one is pretty nifty.

Which reminds me that progress is good on lowering Abyssal instincts. Sapphire said earlier that she is starting to get used to our calm lifestyle. At first she constantly felt the need to go out and fight, especially when I would not let her. By now that feels less and less important to her. Then she gave me a cookie she baked, the first that came out well enough to give someone else.

This tells me that Abyssals are capable of becoming domestic and settling down. It may be a long-term concern, but I was wondering what will happen when the war is over. Assuming the Abyss wins, there will be no humans left after all. An Abyssal civil war would suck. I get the vague idea that no more Abyssals will spawn on their own once humanity is gone, but the Abyss does not seem to have a solid grasp on the aftermath either. Good thing I am here to stop it from dropping the ball and trying to end the Abyssals after their job is done.

That was something I worried about, yes. Although I doubt it will come up by now.

Frostbite seems to appreciate the idea as well. I was a little reluctant to share it with her for a while, but our discussion on base Abyssal nature turned out quite cordial. She says she feels no pressing need to keep waging war, especially after all the other pastimes I introduced. Hence why she plans to spread them along to every other Abyssal she meets along the way. I could only agree with that stance.

I still have trouble comprehending that I gave them proper civilisation. Did I make the comparison to Prometheus before? I really hope this ends better for me than it did for him.

Day 216

I really can get no more than a single week off. Though today was especially wild.

It started when Jeanne called in about a single shipgirl having crossed into my territory; she tripped the sensors. Sapphire has standing orders to act as a shadow unless I give the green light for harassing anyone, that is why the intruder was not immediately sunk. Good to know she adheres to it even in unusual circumstances.

At first I was mighty confused why one lonely shipgirl would come this far out. The survivor of a convoy that got hit elsewhere was my first thought, but a single call to Frostbite told me different; she had no contact with any fleets this week.

Then Sapphire radio'd in with the fact she was tailing a destroyer. Not even a capital ship or some special unit akin to a Demon, but a by all accounts normal destroyer. Although this confused my fleet more, it managed to clear some of my own confusion. I told Sapphire to get me a better description; she is a sneaky girl, so I was not worried for her safety. She can run away faster than anyone else in case someone spots her.

Thing is, she was not. Or if Akatsuki spotted her, she did not attack. Yes, the wayward destroyer came back and set course straight to Haven. I still have no idea what went through her head to do this, but there she was; she came here of all places after somehow surviving not just the raid on Haven, assuming she was involved, but also the battle at Yokohama.

I had Sapphire tail her to make sure she was aiming for Haven; once we could confirm that, I had a decision to make. This time my fleet was home, so I could not really hide it anymore. But at the same time, she was no real threat, not when any single one of my girls could annihilate her. Yet a warship's firepower in the form of a girl could still be troublesome to me personally.

All I knew for certain was that just sinking her felt wrong. Time gave me some distance from losing Hydra, even if it still stings; even if it was Akatsuki's doing or fault, killing her when she can not conceivably harm me still left a bad taste just thinking about. Call it naive, but I am not that sort of bloodthirsty.

Yet it was also true that she posed a risk. I discussed the issue with my girls while we waited, not really surprised that they were all for sinking her. It took a bit to convey my curiousity for why she would come all the way out here on her own; at least pointing it out gave them pause as well. We went and figured out a few safety measures.

I know I considered trying to keep this under wraps as long as I can, but at this point insisting on some silly ideas to keep conversation away from their ears felt even dumber. So I admitted to housing Akatsuki before; suffice it to say, Jeanne was particularly unhappy with me. Ariel frowned a little, but said nothing.

Much to my own surprise, Hannah came through for me. She made a reasonable but also worrisome argument that humans, and by extension shipgirls, can be swayed by good conduct; hence that my being kind to Akatsuki may well allow to flip her alignment or obtain information from her. While I appreciate Hannah's shrewd sense for manipulation, I really had to hold myself back from denying this rationale.

At that point my returning guest was only ten minutes out and I put the plan into motion. The storm dispersed, revealing Haven's still ravaged self with one change: where there were a little hill before, there is now a gleaming citadel; obsidian mainly, threaded with gold and silver. It looms ominously in the storm, but with sunlight it shines like a gem.

I also sent out my trio of Demons to welcome Akatsuki. Sapphire never revealed herself.

What exactly they said to her, I do not know. I asked them to be polite, so Hannah probably acted as their spokesperson there. Whatever was said however, Akatsuki agreed to give up her ammunition as a courtesy, to be returned by the time she leaves. Hannah's fairies searched her rigging for any hidden stockpiles, but found nothing.

Then they brought her into my newly fashioned throne room. Nothing too fancy, just a bigger room with an elevated platform at the end. Now that I could make proper pillows, sitting on a throne was not so bad either.

I honestly have no idea what went through Akatsuki's head when she came in. Alone, without weapons, and flanked by a pair of Demons. The windows around us grew dark when I called back the storm that I only lifted as a courtesy to my guest. She cowered a tiny bit, but somehow found enough courage not to even hesitate. Ariel swerved away to stand by my side while Hannah remained next to her. Looking down on Akatsuki like that made me feel bigger than I was. I am not sure I like the feeling.

Hannah then made a show of taking a knee before me. Our guest did not follow suit, something almost defiant in her features. I could only roll my eyes and told my Demon to get up. Then I got to business asking Akatsuki why she came back here.

"I need to know" is what she answered, voice quiet. "Why did you do it? I know it was your monster. You said you don't want to fight, so why?"

I thought her eyes quivered for a moment there, but she stood tall under my attention. Something about it gave me pause; I knew she was disarmed, but right then Akatsuki still felt like someone dangerous.

All I could give her was the truth, though. "I could ask you the same: why did you pass on word of this place? I meant it when I said I'm happy to live and let live, but I will not roll over if people come to kill me first. That should be obvious."

I wanted to say more, but stopped myself. I am so used to giving reasoned arguments for both sides that it sometimes takes over, but talking to Frostbite gave me some practice only representing my own position. At least my girls kept out of it.

To say Akatsuki was upset would be an understatement.

"I won't say that's wrong, I can't. But so many people died because of you. I thought... I thought you might be different."

I could only arch a brow at her. "I ordered Reaper to destroy Yokohama Naval Base and told her to spare civilian lives where possible. Why do you think so many could escape her? My retaliation went only against the fleet that came for my home."

Akatsuki's mouth was flopping like that of a fish; she was so out of her depth here, I am not even sure how she imagined the conversation to go. That I would start gloating about having tricked her? How did she expect to get out alive if I actually had?

Some prodding revealed at least one thing: Akatsuki herself had no real idea why she came here. Maybe she wanted someone to hate properly instead of being so confused. Maybe she subconciously understands her own admiral was the one who caused the disaster. She did not even hear about the nuke until I told her, at which point she called me a liar again until I showed her the news articles and outright information war currently going on.

At that point she just collapsed into herself; even Jeanne winced a little at the sobbing pile of destroyer on the floor.

I had Ariel carry her into one of the guest rooms and tucked her in with a platter of sweets nearby. A drone is standing guard outside of the door, though its only purpose is to alert one of us if she tries to leave.

We discussed what to make of this afterward. None of the girls really understood Akatsuki's behaviour, though neither did I. It was a dumb thing to come all the way out here when her country needed her. Dumber still to sail into Abyssal territory on her lonesome. Had anyone else spotted her, she would be on the bottom of the sea now. Sapphire and Jeanne still made an argument of whether we should sink her; I overruled them for the same reasons as last time I had Akatsuki here, but it was far easier than I expected.

We also agreed to keep this within the fleet if possible. Frostbite and her girls generally announce themselves before coming over, so it may work. They are busy at the moment anyway, and I see little of them.

Day 217

Little happened today. Akatsuki has a bout of depression and stayed in bed all day. I asked if anyone wanted to keep her company and even got a volunteer, though not the one I expected. Meaning Jeanne. Despite her talking about killing the shipgirl in her sleep, she agreed to stay around. Maybe it was worry that Akatsuki will try something bad if left unsupervised.

Whatever the case, she behaved. In fact, she even got a little bit out of Akatsuki over the day. Turns out her entire division was destroyed during the attack on Yokohama. Same as all her sister ships. She really, really wants to blame me, but can not bring herself to; same as with her admiral. The other thing Jeanne learned is that it was indeed that guy who gave the order to stamp me out after receiving Akatsuki's report. The little destroyer tried to explain how I might be different, but he did not want to take chances.

She was not around for the attack on Haven, but heard word of the return fire the Japanese forces received. From what Jeanne tells me, Akatsuki blames herself for not trying harder to stop it. She also blames herself more than me for Yokohama and the following nuke. That is a lot of blame she puts onto her own shoulders.

I went and talked to her this evening because it took some time to formulate a proper response. I really did not like what I saw, that listless blob of a girl curled up under the covers.

So I asked her straight-up if she is considering seppuku, that is suicide to atone for her sins. She only twitched, but the lack of a denial really says more than anything else.

There was a statement in a game that stayed with me: 'people who say they want to die want to live more than anyone. It is those who stay quiet and silently fade away that seek death'. Or something like that.

I do not like the implications here.