A. N. : As always, Jet is a nightmare to write. And his obsessive tendencies are starting to show too... I guess I know why Bryke killed him off, he just has too many problems to adapt to peace without help, and who would help him ?

Li is eating the noodles.

With his pride, Jet could've bet Li would rather starve to death than accept any kind of charity. Except the guy is actually eating, so there must be a limit to Li's stubbornness. Though he still insists on paying them back.

Really ? Doesn't this guy have any friends ?

Well. This does explain a lot of things, like the way Li is so awkward all the time, but it's kind of sad. What kind of life must one lead to have no idea how friends work ?

Him being a war child doesn't explain everything. Yes, the way Li keeps pushing people away is understandable, just like how he is always on guard, maybe even his stupid pride – sometimes these kids will react to the constant shame of their existence by being impossibly proud. Jet would know, Sneers was like that.

And yet there's so much that doesn't make sense – just look at him, even half starved and dressed with clothes too big for him, Li looks like he'd fit just right in the Earth King's palace, what with the way he's holding his bowl and sitting so uptight.

Li doesn't make sense. In that way he's so very different from Jet's kids. Because Jet can't read him like he reads other people. Or rather, he can't make sense of what he's reading.

Which is ironic, because everything Li thinks is written on his face. And here, he manages to be content, worried and a bit sad, all at the same time.

Jet doesn't know why, and he hates not knowing and usually he'd manipulate Li into trusting him and telling him all his darkest secrets – like he did with Katara and look where that lead him some of his nightmares have him dying from the cold it was so cold – but he can't.

It's not that he doesn't want to, or even that his promise to change binds him – he lies and twists and bends people to his will like he breathes, and maybe that's how benders feel when they are in their element.

If Jet was an earthbender, Li would be metal.

He would be a sword, forged by a master with Fire Nation steel. Jet wouldn't be able to bend it, but he could learn to use it, with time and patience and effort.

Jet can't bend Li because he doesn't understand, and he doesn't understand because Li doesn't make sense. And for Li to finally make sense, Jet needs to learn about him and his past. And since he can't fucking bend Li, Jet has to do things the right way. Through patience and honesty.

Jet isn't one to back down in front of a challenge, and Li is one huge challenge. Not like his kids. Jet can bend his kids – he did and how he regrets it fuck he twisted them and made them kill for him made them die to ease his nightmares made them do so many things and now they're gone they're all gone and it's his own fault –

But he can't bend Li.

He can't bend Li and that means Li won't be manipulated, Li won't let Jet go too far and drown himself like he drowned Gaipan – all swallowed up in his hatred so the fire can be gone so he won't hear his parents scream won't feel his feet burn won't see his kids dying because of him –

Li won't lean on him. Not if Jet doesn't lean on Li, and that means Li would know everything about the ashes in his heart and the fire in his head, and so Li wouldn't trust him.

The thought is strangely comforting.

Li will never trust him.

Li will never be one of his kids.