A. N. : My A:tlA DVDs arrived yesterday and I got a bit carried away with the watching... Anyway. Jet is still as painful to write as ever.

Jet could kill him.

Jet should kill him, really, he can't let an ashmaker roam free in Ba Sing Se, can't let anyone suffer from his mistake – how could he trust him, there had to be signs, there had to be something, like sparks or whatever –

But there wasn't and it can only mean that the firebender has training and no one teaches war children and of fucking course, he looks so Fire, how did Jet not realize that it's because he is fire, and the old man is too and he's a soldier, probably important, maybe even a general and Ba Sing Se is lost lost lost, even the Dragon of the West didn't manage to get that far, when it was really so easy, just lie and lie again, like they all do – like Jet does but he isn't like them he isn't – and now the world will burn until there's nothing but ash and hatred and Jet will drown, drown in the flames because he trusted –

But he can fix it. The firebender is defenceless and the old man is sleeping and Jet just has to put his hands around that neck and squeeze and fire can't burn without air –

He smiles a hateful smile and get closer to the ashmaker – his face is turned and Jet only sees the scar, the burn, it was probably just a training accident it doesn't matter Li's nightmares aren't important –

But they are.

And fuck, isn't it ironic that the one person who gets Jet is a firebender ?

Though it was to be expected, when all he does is hate and destroy until there's nothing left that can hurt him, until everything has been drowned in blood just like Jet is drowning in his nightmares, and he wants to drown Li too, wants to watch him fight and suffocate and suffer and hurt beg for mercy despair once he realizes there's no escape, and maybe then Jet will be able to forget the way Li never let Lin bring the nightmares out, the way he would do so much more if Jet told him the whole story, not just for Jet's sake, but because he knows fire burns everything so long as it has fuel, and Jet's fuel is his hatred, so he'll never stop.

He'll never stop unless someone else stops him.

And it hurts, hurts to know that doing the only thing he can do will make him lose his one chance to weaken the fire burning inside his head. His kids try, but it's not the same, it can't be because they can't stop him until it's too late – he tried drowning it in blood, but it didn't work either.

Li is still lost in his nightmares and Jet can't kill him now, when he looks so much like one of his kids. So he will wait until Li wakes up and taunt him, hurt him until he attacks, so Jet will have no choice but to kill the ashmaker it will be necessary and no one will say anything, not even the voice in his head that sounds like Katara and screams that if he does that he will be an irredeemable monster.

But he already is, he drowned Gaipan, so many of his kids died because of him, for him, because he told them to fight instead of keeping them safe. Getting rid of Li won't bring them back, won't make them safer because they are already gone –

It's dawn when Li opens his eyes – of course he would rise with the sun – and he looks confused and weak, but it doesn't matter, he's awake, and Jet greets him by saying that he knows, and he's not even from the colonies, is he ?

He doesn't wait for the answer – he already knows it, Li is a fucking noble, that's why he's so awkward and uptight and – he wants to hurt Li, hurt him like he was hurt, and he knows just how to do that, it's written on Li's face in fire –

Jet puts his hand on the scar, palm on the eye and fingers extended toward what's left of the ear, and he asks about it – what, does Li suck so much at bending he burnt his own face – and Li flinches, just like planned, but he can't get away, and he looks terrified and not here and Jet's smile is twisted – that's what he wanted, that's revenge, and he can see Li drowning in painful memories, so why is he not satisfied –

Li is shaking, takes quick breaths, shuts his eyes so hard Jet doesn't think he'll be able to open them again, but he doesn't back down. He tries to form a sentence but the words don't come out, don't makes sense, so he ends up saying only two words, and it's so weak, and Jet didn't hear right, it's not possible – but even his own mind couldn't imagine something like that.

He stumbles backwards and it's horrible, no wonder Li is so messed up and why is he so affected, of course the Fire Nation is terrible what did he imagine – but he remembers Gaipan and the children with their parents and he knows he can't lie about this.

Li is curled up in the covers and he doesn't look at Jet, and that's a good thing, because Jet doesn't think he could bear it right now.

Maybe Ba Sing Se will burn because of him, or maybe it won't, but he can't kill Li.

He's so sorry.