Note: This story was originally made by the author Frog_King in his story The Tale of Quandale Dingle on webnovel. You should read his story first, it will change your life. References to other Quandale Dingle stories will also be used.
Prologue: find the vault codes.
Quandale Dingle was born on 1546. Despite the fact that everything was old, gangs still existed and he was born during a gang war. What happened? His gang won the match!... Of course, but only after his mother got kidnapped by the rival gang. The prize was a time machine which turned everything modern, sent them to 2021, and definitely didn't cause any time paradoxes.
When he was 8, he got kidnapped as well with his family because he forgot to remind the candy van man that it was the spooky month. He stayed there for exactly 2 years, then after which he created a high grade explosive after that to break him out but it cost him his tenth sister.
After that, a police officer tried to arrest all of them, but he'd win. He then found a large stack of Diamond encrusted tequila drinks aged 100 years, hoarded by Madrazo Jr., and stole them when he legally owned them. He boiled the drink than consumed it, which was a declaration of war against Italy. After that he got tackled by a cop chasing a car. He stayed in prison until March 28, where he fled to Juandale Pringle's house.
When he was caught, he hired a spiky hair lawyer and he got an acquittal, so he was a free man. He tried to sign up for the military but he was rejected. Eventually, he found an assassin contractor group where he got hired. He realized that his entire family also worked for them. He started by making Vlenemir Rasputin take some gummies and he forgot to wake up. It was what he wanted.
Chapter one: The mandalorian joined the hunt, what do you mean he is near!?1?
Quandale Dingle had a great career as an assassin. He got a 420% kill rate. He was so good he got paid well, he could work 9-5, and even got the codename "The Dingler". One day, after watching the playthrough of Garten of Banban 11, he wanted to order a pizza. Oh right, no money. He just spent all of his money paying back Jamarius Quangledangle and buying his very own custom made .50 cal incendiary explosive slug full metal jacket hollow point black powder fuller auto handcannon machine gun that if it didn't come with infinite ammo it would cost 400,000 dollars to fire every 7 seconds. It was worth every diamond exoplanet he had to sell. He asked his homie Henry Bartholomew Dinglenut for some cash but he is still in prison. Even if he was free he spent all of his money on a high quality custom made teleportation 100 teraton gravity antimatter tnt to bomb every daycare at once. With no other choice, and the time turning 9:00, he called the company for his target.
He had to kill Billy Frank Larson, and the money was big. He got his custom gun and his other stuff and after eating ramen that Quanlingling Dingle made, got to work. Moving onto his truck which always smelled like fast food for some reason he setup his coordinates. Following through the whirs of traffic Quandale made it to the location, his private residence. Bullets zipping, windows breaking, walls becoming swiss cheese his target had nowhere to run. "Prepare to die, hiding won't save you!" The Dinglinator roared, going full terminator in the building. "Ok, I surrender." A guy then walked up, hands up. Mr. Dingle was bemused. "Huh, that was easy, well I guess I can take you in wa-" A metal bat from behind swang at him, but not before he killed the Larson. "Man I should have expected that." Quandale ridiculed himself as he pulled out a switchblade on the guy. Even though the cold metal bat had razor sharp nails that screeched through Dingle's knife, his bulky weapon became his downfall as Quandale sidestepped an attack then stabbed the bodyguard in the back, killing him instantly. Upon closer examination he killed a body double. Guess he was going to have to dig deeper.
On the drive, he cursed the government. They could afford to turn their entire field into gold but not even have full asphalt roads even on major highways. Eventually he parked in the quiet industrial sector. The air was choking, but he knew a friend that would help him find this snake. *Ding dong* "Ah, my friend the Dinglinator, what have you come here for?" The mysterious person said. "Yeah, yeah, no need to be so dramatic, Chef, though I am here for the location of Billy Larson." "Quandale *scoffs* learn to enjoy some pleasantries once in a while, you know. Anyways, for this guy he is hosting a concert with someone named Larry. Go to Mellow Plaza, he will be here." "Yeah, thanks." Quandale remarked as he left. Moving to the earthly feeling from the suburbs, he began following the roads to a crowd. This is it.
Quandale snuck into a blade contest where Larson was performing. He was dominating Larry despite his unbelievable blade skills. The crowd was dead silent, fearful of what was about to happen. This cannot be stood for. The atmosphere was tense, sounds of blades slashing, air faintly tasting like coconut, and darkness everywhere else besides spotlights blasting on the duelsts. Quandale takes a deep breath and aims with his custom made gun, setting scope on his future paycheck.
Unfortunately, he sucks at aiming because he relied on engineer's sentry gun when playing Team Fortress 2 and missed by 6.49 miles, breaking a screen, causing the crowd to stampede out. Larson noticed this, and pulled out of the contest to face his assailant. "You tried so hard to blast me. It's so unfortunate that you didn't see the other assassin." Larson taunted as he held up the head of a masked man. Confident with his win, he lunged at the dingler but he made one mistake, Quandale, could aim if his opponent was right in front of him from all of his hours as an engineer. "Have you ever seen Hog Rider deployed into a gang of PEKKAS?"Going full auto, the air began to burn up around him as he turned Larson into a chezzburger, then got into his truck, smoke emanating from behind him. He noticed Larry trying to escape and he had no time for that loose end so ran him over and he is dead, no further questions.
When he got in, he felt a minor headache. Oh that silly Quanlingling guy, he tried to poison him, well someone is going to the rice fields today. Besides that, today was going great. The relief from adrenaline wearing off was something he always enjoyed. First of all, it was a Friday and he finished his shift, and this week was going to have a three day weekend. Once he got his 300,000 dollars, he would order a pizza. Not just any pizza, but a normal cheese pizza. He could almost taste the savory delicacy. The Dinglinator then started a recording. "Hey guys, Quandale Dingle here. *Rehehehehe*. I just found Larry so I ran him over *reverb effect*, then I turned Daniel Larson into a chezzburger *WHAT*. That's all." He got his daily recording in. He liked recording himself, and then posting it onto Youtube. On Saturday, there was gang wars, a fun game between gangs where people would infiltrate the opponent's base and get some good things. This week, there was triple stakes and he wanted to get his attacks in. Once he did, he would go on a phishing trip then watch horror content creators for the rest of the time. It will be another great week.
However, as he was driving, THERE WAS A BANANA PEEL ON THE ROAD! He felt himself be in a car crash, almost like he was being watched falling out of the window. He tried to pull the emergency break, but it has been sabotaged. He watched as his seatbelt somehow failed. Nothing could prepare him for banana peel attacks, and as he was about to be run over, he saw someone run away. Instead of darkness, he felt a gentle embrace deliver him somewhere.