Corona Convention, Revised (Excerpt)

Article 2

The following methods of attack arestrictly prohibited:

Poisons, chemical weapons,explosives, and kitchen utensils

Flowersin excess of 600 grams

Any method of attack that may cause widespread destruction

Any method of attack that may harm Maison Corona, including room 106

Any method of attack loud enough to disturb the neighbors

Any method of attack that Nabiki Tendo(landlord of Maison Corona, residing in room 206) has previously prohibited

"School?" Ranma asked, sitting on the floor.

"Yes, we're staying awhile after all," Genma explained. "You're attending Furinkan High, the same school Soun's younger two girls go to."

Ranma heard a knock at the door. He got up and opened it to be met with Akane, upset and glaring at him. Ranma returned her glare.

After a moment, Akane spoke frigidly. "Nabiki went on without us. I'll be showing you the way to school." She tossed a box lunch at Ranma, who caught it. "Kasumi insisted on making this for you. Pack quickly."

"Right." Ranma tossed what little he had in the way of school supplies into his schoolbag before leaving with Akane.

The two walked next to a canal, with Ranma on the fence and Akane on the ground.

"Listen, we're not friends," Akane said.

Ranma looked away. "Yeah, I got that."

"So don't hang around me in school!"

"Hmph, don't worry, I can't stand macho chicks like you."

"You—" Akane growled and shook with anger, brandishing her schoolbag at Ranma.

Suddenly, Genma rushed in behind Ranma and smacked him across the back of his head. "Boy, don't treat your fiancée like that! Why, I'll tell you—" Ranma then kicked him into the canal.

"Hey, speak up, old man!" Ranma taunted. Genma, now a panda, jumped up and swiped at him, but Ranma hopped off the fence, flipped through the air, and landed on the ground as he stuck out his tongue. "Missed me!"

"Show-off," Akane muttered. "Let's hurry, or we'll be late." She started running, and Ranma kept pace.

"Hey, what's the rush?" Ranma asked.

Akane looked down, her face clouded with anger. "You'll see."

As Ranma and Akane approached school, a horde of boys in athletic gear charged towards them.

"Akane's here!" a boy yelled.

"Tendo, I'll stop you!" yelled another.

The boys descended upon Akane. She kicked one boy in the face, smashed another over the head with her schoolbag, and punched another in the gut. "I won't let anyone else—" another boy began before going down as Akane chopped him in the head.

During all this, Ranma, confused, had leapt out of the way onto a nearby wall, watching as Akane charged through the horde. She grabbed one boy and threw him into another, knocking them both out. A boy snuck up from behind, but she elbowed him to the ground. She made her way through the crowd like a tornado, leaving Ranma entranced. Wow. She's incredible. He quickly caught himself. I mean, incredible for an uncute tomboy.

"Such a boorish lot of boys," a tall boy in a kendo uniform said. "Each one desiring—" He was interrupted when Akane kicked him into the trunk of a nearby tree, completely knocking the wind out of him.

"No time, upperclassman Kuno!" Akane yelled. She briefly paused to catch her breath. "Ugh, I hate boys."

Ranma jumped and landed next to her. "What was all that about?"

Akane thumbed at the boy she just kicked, "Thanks to Kuno, they think that if they defeat me, they can date me." Akane tightened her fists. "And they've been at it every morning!"

"All that trouble over someone as uncute as you?" Ranma dodged backwards as Akane swung her schoolbag at him. "Shouldn't the principal do somethin' about it?"

Akane's face darkened. "Don't get me started on the principal."

As Akane and Ranma made their way through the school doors, Kuno thought, crumpled against a tree, Who is that ruffian who dares act so familiar with the beauteous Akane Tendo?

Several hours later, Ranma, Akane, and a flood of students rushed out the school doors.

Ranma stretched his arms. "Jeez, that first day was such a drag," he complained. "Still beats spendin' months hikin' through the Bayankala mountains."

"I thought I told you not to hang around me at school," Akane coolly replied. "I've heard people talking after we came to school together."

"Believe me, I'd rather anyone else have shown me the way to school! What's your deal?"

"Nothing, I just don't want everyone to know I'm engaged to a perverted half-girl."

"And I don't want anyone knowing I'm engaged to a bucket-waisted tomboy like you."

Akane smacked Ranma with her schoolbag.

"Sorry, I meant bucket-waisted, violent tomboy," Ranma said.

Akane aimed her schoolbag at Ranma. "Do you want me to hit you again?"

Ranma's stomach growled. "Nah, I think I'd rather walk around town, check things out." And find something to eat while I'm at it.

Akane returned her bag to her side. "Hmph, do what you want, I'm heading home. I've had enough of boys for one day." She and Ranma split up.

"Would you like to join my knitting society?" Kasumi asked, offering fliers to passersby. "Please at least consider it." Despite her efforts, she hadn't attracted any members for her newly formed society, her voice being easily drowned out by the hustle and bustle of the street. And I had so desperately hoped to find people who shared my interests.

A boy walked up to Kasumi. "Hey, if I join your society, would you go out with me?"

"I, um, I'm sorry. I'm afraid your suggestion makes me a bit uncomfortable." Kasumi backed away.

Ranma walked down the street, happily snacking on an armful of buns. Sure, getting splashed sucked, but at least he got free food out of it. As he ate, he noticed a boy confronting a woman who was visibly uncomfortable. That's Akane's sister—the older one, Kasumi. What's she doing here?

"Please stop! Let go!"

"It's a good arrangement, isn't it? And you could at least thank me for giving your society my attention and membership. Wouldn't it be great to get to know each other?"

"That isn't the purpose of my society!"

"But you want members, right? It would be a win-win."

"No! Please let go of me!"

Ranma had seen enough. He walked up to the boy. "Hey, sleazebag. Step away from her."

The guy turned to Ranma. He smiled condescendingly. "Aren't you cute? Since this woman seems hesitant to accept my affections, how about you date me in her place?"

Ranma's skin crawled just being near this guy. "I'd rather jump off a cliff!"

"My, how feisty." The boy approached Ranma. "But that only makes you more attractive."

Ranma glared at him, refusing to back away. "Touch me and you'll regret it."

The boy chuckled. "Perhaps I should temper that feistiness with a kiss." He put his hand under Ranma's chin.

Ranma punched him in the face, knocking him flat on his back. A girl came over and pulled him up. "Mikado, we don't have time for your girl-chasing!" She dragged him off.

Ranma shuddered, hugging himself. "Ugh, I think I need a bath."

"Um, thanks," Kasumi said shyly, looking at the ground.

"Huh?" Ranma turned to face her. "Oh, no problem. I hate creeps like that." He scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, sorry for messing up your recruiting."

"It's fine, I wasn't very successful." Kasumi sighed. "I'm sure most people don't find knitting very interesting." Her face clouded with gloom.

Ranma had always been weak against girls in distress. It couldn't hurt to join… But knitting sounds boring… I mean, she did make a box lunch for me… But pops would get on my case about knitting being girly. He continued thinking it over.

Kasumi dejectedly fingered her fliers. "Even free snacks haven't been enough to entice new members…"

Free snacks? "Hey, I'll join!" Ranma offered.

"Are you certain?" Kasumi looked doubtful. "I would appreciate it, but I can't imagine knitting would be very interesting for boys. Of course, it could be that you have ulterior motives." Kasumi smiled guilelessly, putting a hand to her mouth. "But I'm sure that's not the case!"

"Of course not, I'm interested! I'll give this knitting thing a try!" Of course, the free snacks are a bonus, but I'll master this knitting thing! Can't be that hard.

Kasumi's face lit up and she handed Ranma a flier. "Then I'd love to welcome you to my knitting society!" Her face broke out in a wide, pure smile, and Ranma was sure he'd made the right choice.

After that, Kasumi had headed home in a better mood, and a little later, Ranma did so as well—after scamming a few more treats from various vendors.

Ranma unlocked the door to room 106. "I'm back," he said as he entered the room. He felt a bit lonely coming back to an empty room, but it was better than dealing with his father. I better take a bath and change back into a man before pops comes back; as for dinner, he probably left something in the fridge.

Ranma then noticed that the room wasn't empty: Akane, evidently unhappy, sat in a corner of the room holding a shinai. Next to her was a large bag full of weapons.

Ranma backed away in surprise. "Why are you in my room?"

Akane crossed her arms and looked downward. "It's all our stupid dads' fault."

"You're making me live with that pervert?!" Akane yelled.

Soun smiled obliviously. "That's right! And Genma's moving into room 206, meaning you'll be all alone with Ranma!"

"It'll be wonderful!" Genma added, similarly obliviously jovial. "You'll be like newlyweds!"

"It's the perfect way for you to get to know each other! The schools will be united in no time!" The two men laughed freely and danced about, Soun's face streaming with tears of joy.

Nabiki sighed. Dad and his friend are such idiots… She took a break from her homework and offered Akane a sympathetic look, patting her on the back. "I'm sure it'll be fine," Nabiki said. "But if he gets out of hand…" She handed Akane a huge wooden mallet. "Just be sure to stop while he's still breathing," she added cheerfully.

"Thanks for being so reassuring," Akane replied deadpan. It's not like anything's gonna happen… I hope, she thought. But what if that pervert does try something? What if he does this… or that? Or this?! Or that?! Her mind quickly turned to the worst possibilities. She clenched her fists, determined to stop the worst from happening. I need to arm myself! Along with her clothes and daily necessities, she stuffed her bag with the mallet Nabiki gave her, a bat, nunchucks, a dumbbell, a shinai, a bow and arrow, a polearm, and a frying pan.

"Good thinking, Akane!" Nabiki said cheerfully. "If all else fails, you can poison him!"

"Shut it, Nabiki! My purity is at stake!" Akane heaved up her bag, now crammed full of all the weapons she could find. Bowed down by the massive load, she made her way to the door, picked up a key to room 106, and left.

Through all this, Genma and Soun had continued to joyfully and obliviously dance about. This scene greeted Kasumi when she returned. "Oh my, I hope I haven't missed anything!"

"Hey, don't treat me like some kinda predator!" Ranma complained. "I ain't done nothin' to you!"

"Oh, shut it! I know what you boys are all like. You're just waiting for the chance to make me yours and yours alone!"

"C'mon, not all boys are like that! I'm not!"

"An entire horde of boys attacks me every morning; I know perfectly well what they're like." Akane pointed her shinai at Ranma. "Now get out."

"No way! Why should I do that?"

"I can't trust you not to try something, pervert."

"I won't try anything, I swear!"

"And I could be sure of it if you weren't here."

Ranma scowled. "If living with me is so unbearable, why don't you leave? Why should I leave?"

"Because if you don't leave, I'll make you leave." Akane entered a fighting pose, brandishing her shinai.

"I'd like to see you try." Ranma smirked and firmly held his hands behind his back.

Both of them stood still for a moment. This standstill ended when Akane rushed forward and swung at Ranma. Just before she could hit him, he dodged left. She swung again, and he dodged right. It was a repeat of last night, and every dodge only further frustrated Akane. Regardless, she continued to swing again and again. "Why—don't—you—just—leave?" she asked, punctuating each word with a swing.

Ranma dodged every swing. "Well, excuse me if I'm not champin' at the bit to rough it out for a girl who's done nothing but call me a pervert!"

"Don't act like you haven't been constantly insulting me at every turn, calling me a barrel-bodied tomboy!"

Ranma leaned in towards Akane. "Bucket-waisted, actually. But you're not wrong about being barrel-bodied."

"Gah!" Akane growled and redoubled her attacks.

Ranma had spent nearly his entire life roughing it in the wilderness. Living inside was a luxury, one he'd rarely experienced on his lifelong training trip, and he wasn't about to give that up for a girl who treated him like dirt, like he was a pervert and a freak—when he was clearly neither—and scrapped her offer of friendship real quick when she found out he was a boy. The first person to offer him friendship in a long while, and she threw it away, threw it away in the most hurtful way she could. Probably for the best. Who'd want to be friends with someone so two-faced? Sure, he might've gone a bit too far with his insults. But she started it! And he had no time for people who didn't bother trying to understand him, judging him for what he seemed rather than who he was. Besides, it's not as if he could go anywhere else, not while he had to deal with this stupid engagement.

"Just leave already!" Akane yelled, still swinging wildly. "This is my home!"

"And this is my room!" Ranma replied, still dodging.

"Well, I don't want a pervert in my home!"

"And I don't want a homely psycho in my room!"

Why should Akane care about some perverted, rude freeloader living in her home who was stealing her future, freedom, and dojo? Her dojo, their family's legacy and pride, and her dad was giving it away to some boy. Because apparently, a girl wasn't good enough to be his successor; no, only a man could be his successor. And sure, Ranma didn't seem as perverted as most boys, and she might've gone a bit far in her insults, but she was still absolutely sure he was a pervert. All boys were. An entire crowd of them attacked her everyday, and every single one of them was a lecherous loser. It was hard to trust any boy, especially one who constantly insulted her and stabbed at every insecurity she had about feeling like a failure of a girl. It especially hurt because she had put so much effort into shedding her tomboyish reputation, into trying to be a proper girl.

"You jerk, stop patronizing me and fight back!" After so many swings and so many misses, Akane decided on a new tack. She grabbed her bow, nocked some arrows, and shot them at him.

Ranma grabbed a pillow, quickly maneuvering it to catch every single arrow. "Even if you're the most uncute, violent, tomboyish girl I've met, you're still a girl, and I don't hit girls." That only upset Akane further, and she intensified the onslaught of arrows. I've gotta stop her. Ranma didn't want to keep dodging, especially when he hadn't had dinner or a bath (or really any opportunity to change back into a man). Time to end this. He looked for an opening and quickly found one. Just as Akane reached for another arrow to nock, he quickly lunged towards her, grabbed her legs, pushed her to the ground, and pinned her arms and legs with his.

"Let me go, you pervert!" Akane yelled, struggling to escape Ranma's grip. "You deny that you're perverted, yet you touch me like this?"

"It's not perverted if we're both girls!" Ranma replied, holding Akane tight. "And I'll let you go as soon as you stop attacking me!"

Akane growled and struggled, trying to escape. But Ranma's grip held firm, and she eventually relented. "Fine," she muttered. "I'll stop attacking you."

"Really?"

"Yes! Now let me go!"

Ranma did so, and Akane scrambled to one side of the room, picking up her shinai and pointing it at Ranma once more. They were both exhausted but nevertheless remained wary of each other, each glaring at the other, sitting on opposite sides of the room. Though Akane wanted to force Ranma out of the room, she wasn't skilled enough to do so, as much as she hated to admit it. And despite his dislike of Akane, Ranma didn't want to force Akane out; after all, this was her home. Thus, the two entered a stalemate.

"I just know you'll try something, pervert," Akane said. "No way I'm sleeping while you're here."

"I'm not gonna try nothin'!" Ranma replied. "If anything, you're the one who'd try attacking me in my sleep. So if you're not sleeping, I'm not sleeping."

"Oh, please, you fell asleep in half our classes. You won't make it one hour. Admit it: I've got you beat!"

"You're dead wrong! I've dealt with training that was ten times as bad; staying up until some sheltered girl falls asleep is nothing!"

"We'll see."

"And whoever falls asleep first gives up on the room!"

"Deal! Get ready to sleep outside!"

And so they watched each other for hours, doing so well into the morning.

A knock came from the door. "Hey, lovebirds, time to go to school!" Nabiki yelled.

Akane jolted upright, eyes wide open. "Oh no, oh no, I'm gonna be late!" Luckily, she hadn't changed out of her school uniform last night. She hurriedly tossed her school supplies into her schoolbag.

Ranma weakly rose from the ground, rubbing at his eyes. "Hey, what about the room? Shouldn't we settle things before we go to school?"

"I don't have time for that right now! We can settle it after school."

"Fine." Ranma grabbed his own schoolbag. They quickly left, Ranma locking the room.

Nabiki handed them box lunches, looking over them as she did so. She smirked. "Anything fun happen last night?" She handed a kettle to Ranma.

"Shut up," Ranma and Akane said in unison, both miserably sleep-deprived. Ranma poured the hot water over himself and returned to his male form.

Nabiki laughed and they set out for school, Ranma and Akane having formed a temporary truce.