In case any of you are not on tumblr, or don't follow me there, I wanted to let y'all know that I HAVE FINISHED THIS FIC! Including this update, there are four remaining chapters, for a total of thirteen chapters for this fic. I'll be posting the next two Mondays and Thursdays so that I can have this completely updated before my CSSNS24 fic drops on the 22nd. Thank you all for going on this ride with me. I hope you enjoy these concluding chapters!
Part Ten
"What sort of game is he playing at now, do you think?" Killian murmured as he and Emma made their way to the showers.
"Who the hell knows," Emma groused. "I've given up trying to understand him or even attempt to stay ahead of his demented games."
"Aye." Killian sighed and gestured Emma towards the working showerhead, allowing her to go first.
"Not that I'm not relieved that our fears seem to have been… premature," she said, stepping into the spray and wetting her long tresses.
Killian swallowed past the bolt of lust that always manifested when he saw her like this and added, "It is hard to enjoy the current peace and quiet, knowing there is likely a sword of Damocles hanging over us, though."
Emma swiped the cascades of water from her face and gave him the look she usually employed whenever his "nerd side" came out, complete with an eye roll and stifled grin.
They spent the next few minutes in silence while Emma lathered, conditioned, shaved, and rinsed. In an effort to keep his libido in check, Killian let his mind wander over the past two plus weeks since he and Emma entertained Pan's guests.
They'd gone to sleep that night with the worry of what Pan might have in store for them next and Killian's dreams had been nightmarish reflections of those fears. None of which had come to fruition these past weeks. In fact, Pan had demanded very little of them at all, leaving them to their own devices much of the time whilst lavishing them with unearned gifts.
It was downright unsettling.
Killian's eyes drifted down to his Swan's lower abdomen and his jaw tightened from the equally unsettling knowledge that their recent activities may have already begun to bear their natural consequences, yet there was no way for him to know for certain. He knew she had not yet had a period, but he did not know whether that was unusual after the removal of an IUD. Of course, Emma was completely unaware that she was no longer protected from an unwanted pregnancy, therefore a lack of period was of no concern for her. He wondered, should they be fortunate enough to dodge the bullet of conception, what her reaction would be if and when her period did occur. Would Pan expect him to continue the charade of not knowing?
The continued deceit and knowledge that every aspect of their lovemaking wasn't completely consensual caused Killian's stomach to tighten and churn painfully with guilt. He hated keeping it from her, but what other choice did he have?
"Your turn," Emma said, pulling him from his tormented thoughts. His eyes snapped up and met the concern expressing itself through her furrowed brow and curious expression. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, love," he replied, waving off her scrutiny with a quipped bit of sass that wasn't entirely untrue. "Just a bit vexed by our esteemed host."
Emma hummed her understanding and agreement, rubbing her hand down his arm affectionately as they traded places.
Once back in their now very cramped room, given the number of 'luxuries' Pan had provided them in the wake of their exhibition, they went through their normal, post-shower routines before settling back on their bed.
"Do you think he'd let us visit the terrace again without having to complete a 'Pan Says'?" Emma inquired softly, tucking her legs beneath her in an attempt to get comfortable. "Like he did with the shower?"
Killian pondered her question. He knew they had both been surprised at the lack of quid pro quo when they'd finally broken down and begged Pan for an opportunity to shower. After all, it had been over two weeks since they'd been given leave to go and have a proper wash-up, and there was only so much a rinsed and reused washcloth, a small sink, and a vanishing bar of soap could do at this point. Killian had braced himself for the expected, unpleasant demand of a Pan Says in response to his and Emma's request, but when Pan had simply agreed and opened the cell door with a reminder to not stray off the blue line, they'd both found themselves unnerved. Begrudgingly grateful, but mostly unnerved.
"Might be best to not push our luck," Killian replied.
Emma's shoulder sagged in disappointment, but the action was followed with a relenting nod of concession that he was probably right. He hated to dishearten her, especially when he'd love nothing more than to go out and breathe fresh air whilst basking in some sunshine. However, until Pan showed his cards and revealed what this new round of the game would entail, he didn't want them lured into a false sense of security or led into a trap of their own making.
"So," Emma said, changing the subject. "What will it be? Reading? A movie? Board game? What do you wanna do today?"
Choosing an activity - from the myriad of options their host had provided them over the past fortnight - that might keep them occupied, they spent the rest of the day, and the subsequent days afterward, in relative peace.
Too bad that peace couldn't last.
"Pan says, you two are going on a field trip."
Killian balked and noted the way Pan's unexpected announcement had caught Emma off guard as well.
"A field trip where?" Emma asked warily.
"To another part of the compound," Pan replied. "There's something I wish to show you, so…" The cell door screeched open and revealed two Lost Ones standing at the ready. "Pan says, follow the orange line until my Lost Ones indicate you've arrived at your destination."
~/~
Emma was probably going to end up with a crick in her neck from the way she kept craning it to look over her shoulder. The distraction of attempting to ascertain whether these were their original Lost Ones - the ones who seemed to have a connection to her and Killian - had her stumbling over her feet a number of times on the way to their mysterious destination. It was no use, though. Pan had changed their outfits, including their masks. Where before an opening had remained at their mouths and eyes, this new mask covered their faces completely. Emma doubted she'd be able to tell for sure, so she returned her focus to the new areas of the compound the new line led them through.
The orange line had run parallel to the green line, the one that led to the garden terrace, but branched off at the stairwell that led to the upper level. Killian had been silent since they'd left the room and hadn't glanced her way once since the lines had split off. She knew it was because he was taking in every detail he could and adding the new information to the map in his head. He did finally peer over at her when the Lost Ones ushered them into an elevator, his hand still wrapped firmly around her own as they squeezed in beside the Lost Ones.
"So…" Killian drawled, startling Emma with the way he broke the silence within the elevator. "Are you them? The Lost Ones responsible for us being in this nightmare?"
"Killian," Emma hissed in admonishment.
His eyes cut down to hers and met her incredulous expression. Why would he ask such a thing now?
"It's not as though it's a secret," he said, turning his attention back to their guards. "Nothing escapes Pan's attention, so I'm certain he's well aware of the information one of you gave Emma. So let's stop pretending we don't all know you two are the reason Emma and I are here in the first place."
Neither of them responded, though Emma did notice the guilty shift in one of the Lost One's stances. Given the raise of his brow, Killian did, too.
Before he could question them again, the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors opened. The first Lost One exited as the second gestured for her and Killian to follow, dropping in behind them both as they continued down the orange lined hallway. They hadn't gone far when the Lost One stopped and punched in a code into a numbered keypad mounted to the wall. The click of a lock releasing echoed through the hallway and the door swung open, revealing an entryway one might see in a swanky city apartment.
"Come in! Come in!" Pan's voice crowed excitedly from the speakers in the room beyond. Squeezing her hand, Killian led them through the door and entryway, until they were standing in a naturally lit, warm and inviting living room, lavishly furnished and a sight more welcoming than the cell they'd been inhabiting for the past six weeks.
"What…? Where are we? Who… Who lives here?" Emma stammered, trying to take in not only the spacious living room but the other spaces connected to it as well.
"That will depend entirely on the two of you," Pan supplied with a familiar note in his tone that alerted them both of an impending Pan Says on the tip of his tongue.
"Let me guess," Killian snarked in reply before Pan could issue the edict. "Pan says this will be our new home if… we agree to whatever depraved, humiliating, new heights of degradation he has planned for us now?"
Again, Emma stared slack-jawed at Killian. What on earth had gotten into him today?
"Actually," Pan began, his words carrying a hard edge that was difficult to miss despite the light tone he was attempting to keep. "It's nothing new. In fact, my request is for you to do a Pan Says you've already completed for me once. Rather successfully, as a matter of fact."
Ripples of dread cascaded down Emma's spine as she exhaled on a panicked breath, "You want us to do it again. You want us to… entertain them again."
Killian stiffened at her side, his posture becoming even more menacing than it had in the elevator. "Absolutely not. Separate us if you must, but I'll not have Emma endure that again!"
"Separate you?" Pan parroted in mocked inquiry. "Why on earth would I separate you?"
"But…" Emma began, a myriad of emotions sweeping through her all at once. "Last time you said if we didn't, you would-"
"Well, that was before you proved to be such a smashing success with my guests," Pan told them. "You wouldn't believe the praise I received for delighting them with such a feast for their debauched tastes… or the amount they've offered to pay for a repeat performance."
"And if we say no?" Killian questioned.
"If you say no, then my guests won't get a repeat performance… they'll get an entirely new experience with the two of you."
"What does that mean?"
Pan paused, allowing the tension and dread to build before explaining, "I've never been very good at sharing my toys with others, which is why my monthly exhibitions have always been just that. Exhibitions. Performances. Looky, but no touchy. However…" Another pregnant pause stretched through the room and Emma met Killian's anxious eyes with panicked ones of her own, both of them now deducing what Pan was about to reveal. "If you will not allow my guests the voyeuristic experience they've already paid for, then perhaps I'll give in to the obscene amount they've offered to allow them a more… hands-on role this month."
"No," Killian grit out from between his clenched teeth.
"Oh, yes," Pan oiled in reply. "You can either allow my guests to watch you ravage each other for one night, then have the freedom and luxury of this apartment to dwell in afterward, or I can have you tied down and give my guests what they truly desire. The opportunity to ravage each of you for themselves - in some cases several at a time - for All. Three. Nights. The choice is yours."
Emma wrapped her arms around her waist and doubled over, a mournful cry catching in the back of her throat as Killian roared next to her, picked up a vase from one of the end tables and chucked it at the wall, shattering it into oblivion.
"Now, now," Pan tsked over the speakers. "I'll give you some time to mull it over. We've another week before my guests arrive. Pan says to have a look around and talk it over. You can let me know what you decide before my Lost Ones take you back to your quarters."
Feedback rang through the speakers, but it was nothing in comparison to the ringing in her ears. Reaching up, Emma placed her hands against her hot, flushed face, wet from tears yet also clammy to the touch.
"Swan," Killian said, somewhere off to her right, his words a mixture of apology and commiseration. His hand ran a soothing caress down her spine, but it did not have the calming effect he intended. Instead, Emma felt her stomach lurch.
"Swan, I'm so-"
"I'm gonna be sick!" Darting through the living room, she just managed to make it to the sink in the kitchen beyond before emptying the contents of her stomach through a series of retches.
"Emma!" Killian cried out in concern, making his way to her in time to hold her hair back for her. She wished he wouldn't. Wished he didn't have to see her like this. Wished… so many things, actually.
"I'm sorry, love," Killian continued to apologize. "I shouldn't have let my anger get out of control like that. I didn't… I didn't mean to make things worse. I-"
"It's okay," Emma said, clearing her throat and reaching for a paper towel to wipe her mouth with. "Could you find me a glass?" she asked him. "I need some water."
"Of course!" He tore open cabinets until he found one with drinking glasses. Handing it over to her, she could feel his scrutiny as she filled it from the tap and took small sips.
"I'm sorry," she said, taking a turn to apologize for her own lack of ability in keeping it together. "I don't know why I responded like…" Her words trailed off as something occurred to her. Something that nearly made her heart stop as she instinctively began to reach down towards her abdomen then thought better of it at the last minute, hopefully before Killian noticed.
No. Surely it would be too soon for that if I were…
"You've no need to apologize, love," Killian soothed, though his voice was tight and strained. Glancing up at him, she noted how he only held her gaze for a moment before cutting his eyes away. His Adam's apple bobbed and the muscle at his jaw flickered. When Emma followed the path of his eyes, she saw the shards of the vase littering the floor.
"You don't need to beat yourself up either," she told him. "I don't think either of us was expecting…"
Killian slammed his hand against the counter, causing her to jump. "That's just it!" he hollered. "We never expect it! We're always several steps behind when it comes to his schemes! I'm tired of never knowing what's next! Of always being on the defensive, never letting our guard down! I thought… I thought we might have the upper hand for once! I thought this might have been our chance to thwart him, but now…"
"What do you mean? Thwart him how?"
Killian ran his hand through his hair and forced himself to take a calming breath. "I thought he might threaten to separate us, like he did the last time. I thought… even though I'd hate being parted from you and having someone else… I thought it would at least mean we could keep one another safe from…"
"I know," she said, placing a hand on his chest. "I was thinking the same thing." His eyes snapped to hers and his lips parted in surprise. "As much as I don't want for us to be separated, I couldn't help but think how choosing to do so would mess with his plan."
"Aye," Killian said on a heavy breath. "Instead, he's backed us into a corner once again. Leaving us no option but to comply."
"At least we know what to expect this time," she said, offering up that small consolation as she looked around the apartment. "And unlike the last one, this prison cell has windows," gesturing towards a glass door at the back of the kitchen, she quipped, "and a balcony we can throw ourselves off of if it all gets to be too much."
"Not funny," Killian clipped even as a smile twitched at his lips. Releasing another heavy sigh, he took her hand. "I suppose we ought to take the full tour," he groused, nodding towards the big screen tv in the corner of the living room with Pan's most recent edict scrolling across, "before our jailers come to fetch us."
~/~
Begrudgingly, Killian had to give it to Pan. The flat was magnificent. Several times he had to remind himself that a gilded cage was still a cage, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't eager to share the space, and the sense of normalcy it might provide, with his Swan.
The kitchen was state-of-the-art and fully stocked with all their favorites. It opened to a balcony that stretched the full expanse of the flat, giving access to the bedroom, bathroom, and…an additional room.
The bedroom was outfitted with a king sized bed, lush linens, a reading nook, and a spacious closet already filled with garments more keeping to their life before their incarceration. Adjoining, there was a luxurious, spa-like bathroom with a shower large enough for both of them to bathe at the same time, as well as a two person soaking tub. The room next to the bedroom was a bit perplexing, however.
"What do you think this space is meant for?" Emma asked after they'd swung the door wide to reveal a cozy, not yet furnished bedroom.
Killian swallowed thickly and shrugged his shoulders, hoping Emma would not take notice of his sudden change in demeanor. He had a pretty good idea what potential use Pan may have had in mind for the small room only steps away from the main suite, but just as he had when his suspicions had run rampant in response to Emma becoming violently ill earlier, he tamped them down and put on his best poker face. Fortunately - or unfortunately - he was spared from having to bluff further.
"Well?" Pan's voice echoed in from the living room. "What's the verdict?"
Making their way back to where the obvious camera was, though Killian knew there had to be many more hidden throughout the space, he and Emma glanced at one another with an affirming look before Emma sighed and said, "When do we move in?"
Pan practically crowed in response to their answer. "How about now?"
Killian and Emma both balked. "Now?" Killian said, incredulously.
"Why not?" Pan replied. "Call it a token of my gratitude and a reminder of how generous I can be."
Killian wasn't certain how to respond and found himself murmuring an astounded thank you alongside his Swan.
"Just remember my benevolence this weekend when it comes time to entertain my guests," Pan commented with a slight warning in his voice. "Oh! And I have a few notes to go over with you later this week in preparation."
"Goody," Killian grumbled under his breath, earning him an elbow in his ribs.
"Until then… enjoy your new home."
Killian shuddered and huffed out an exhale. Turning towards Emma, he was met with a stern look and disapproving hands on her hips.
"What has gotten into you?" she demanded.
"What are you-"
"Don't give me that," she countered. "You've been off all day. Earlier in the shower, then confronting the Lost Ones in the elevator, sassing Pan, smashing vases… Killian," her expression softened as she reached up to cup his cheek. His face nuzzled into her touch as it was prone to do. "What is going on with you? Talk to me."
Killian opened his mouth, but the words kept getting stuck in the back of his throat. He didn't want to lie to her, didn't want to keep this secret from her, but the alternative…
"I'm scared," he choked out in no more than a whisper. "Scared I can't… protect you. Scared that there will come a time when we are truly faced with an impossible choice, or that I'll have to betray you in some way in order to protect you. Scared that I might be forced to do something you could never forgive. Something I could never forgive myself for."
"That isn't going to happen," she said in an attempt to assuage his fears.
"You don't know-"
"Yes, I do." Her tone left no room for argument, but she continued on just the same. "Do you know how I know?" Killian shook his head. "Because I have the same fears. Because I know all of the terrible things you have imagined us having to endure and I have already forgiven you for each and every one of them." Pressing her forehead against his, she closed her eyes and wet her lips before flicking her gaze up to his once more. "There is nothing - NOTHING - you could ever do in response to Pan's insanity that I would not forgive you for, just as I hope you would be willing and able to forgive me for-"
"Always," he said, cutting her off. "There is nothing I would not forgive, love. Nothing."
A smile ghosted over her lips and she pressed in closer to him. "Then what do you say we get the broken vase cleaned up then make ourselves something to eat, hmm?"
"I suppose I could eat," he said, pulling back slightly so he could gaze down at her. "Any requests?"
Emma's brows shot up her forehead and surprise colored her features. "Don't tell me you can cook."
"I'll have you know I am quite deft in the kitchen, Swan." Waggling his brows, he added, "Almost as much as I am in the bedroom."
Emma giggled and pulled him in for a kiss, but not before she murmured a final, affirming, "Yep. Total. Forgiveness."