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Souls of the Night – Vol 3.

44.

It was Monday and it almost felt like my first day at work. I was nervous and my neuroses and ruminations (which of course had started again after I was sober and migraine free) had made me imagine ridiculous and absurd scenarios. Like the idea that not only would I not be able to enter the grounds because I had forgotten my ID and chip card, but also because Lex might have deleted me from the system as an unmistakable sign that he never wanted to see me again. Which of course he hadn't. But I got onto the premises and into House B without any problems. In the accounts department I signed back in with Humphrey and everything was so normal that it seemed surreal. Until I got to my desk. My bag and jacket, which I'd left there early Saturday night, were neatly arranged on my swivel chair. My desk was clean and tidy and the beautiful ceramic vase with the strong stem of the blooming wisteria was smelling fantastic in the evening sun.

Wisteria? ... that was ringing a bell. But ... it was much more likely that the panicle and vase belonged to someone else. Or a messenger had left it on the wrong table? But no, no one here was-

"-in love?" asked Linda, who was sitting behind me, peering between the filing cabinets and the planted partition between our compartments.

"Uhhm," I looked from the stem to her. "Who- so it's been here all day?" I asked.

She smiled broadly, little laugh lines on her face.

"I didn't see who brought it, it was already there when I arrived. But from the look on your face, maybe you have someone who would send you something like that," she said knowingly and I put my hands to my hot cheeks and realized I was grinning like an idiot. I also had to blink several times to hold back the tears.

"And do you have any idea who your admirer might be? Is he nice?" Linda asked, because yes, of course HE. I was now generally known as the punchy gay guy in the company but didn't even get any rejection for it but mostly a `Meh, that's just the way it is` - attitude (if my school days would have been like that I wouldn't have been so messed up).

"I have a hunch," I said, chuckling softly and couldn't take my eyes off the flowers.

Lex had remembered. Remembered that many months ago he had said he would take me to this spot in Central Park when the wisteria was in full bloom. Well, it wasn't a rendezvous there, but this gesture was so beautiful and unexpected, so small and yet so meaningful that I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. And most importantly, this action showed that Lex not only forgave me for my shameful, self-discrediting behavior, but that he also apologized for his words.

"That would be funny if there was another working couple in your Team34. Aren't that blonde hunk and that brunette married?" my colleague commented and of course she had to assume that the person who had brought me the flowers must be from within the company because people from outside the firm didn't just wander into LeXa ltd, especially not suppliers who brought a single panicle of flowers or even the love-struck boyfriend himself. That's when I realized that my story with the human Lex Eyrie wouldn't work at all at this point. Before I could go into stutter mode, I just made a casual, contemplative "mhmmm" and got very busy. I booted up my computer and leafed through the documents in my filing cabinet. And heard Linda wandering off into the distance and hopefully doing some work herself. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was a risky statement Lex was making here, but ... I couldn't stop smiling.

I wanted to thank him right away for listening to me, for learning that it was such small gestures that made me aware of his affection and didn't overwhelm me, for remembering such a seemingly trivial thing. And that he thought of me and sought reconciliation even though I had shocked him so much and he perhaps thought I had ... I had gotten my bruises from some human. Of course, it still offended me that he could think that of me. But honestly, if I'd laid my cards on the table from the start, he wouldn't even dream of thinking that.

But it was daytime and he wouldn't wake up for another two hours and I wasn't even sure if he was working today. I would message and thank him later for the flowers and ask if I could visit. I ... was no longer extremely reluctant to make our relationship public at some point. But in the company where we both worked and where I had only been accepted because of him, I still had serious reservations. I smelled the wisteria again and then pushed the vase back where I could see it but where it wasn't in my way.

Then I unlocked via smart lock on my cell phone my middle drawer on my desk where my wallet and company ID were and saw ... an 18-count box of Hershey's Cookies'n' Crème candy bars. These were my favorite candy bars but I hadn't put them in my LOCKABLE drawer myself. Perplexed like a confused puppy, I felt myself tilt my head and let out a questioning gargoyle hum. On the side was a small folded note on creamy white sturdy paper. The entity inside me - just as eager to know what was going on - blew the note at me as soon as I leaned down to grab it, so that the paper almost fluttered to the ceiling. The documents on my desk began to flap, threatening to be carried away in a mini whirlwind of excitement, and I put my hand on them.

"Okay, calm down," I whispered admonishingly to it. The wind died down immediately. I looked around again to make sure that no one had just seen that. Then I picked up the card again.

"We both know that the chocolate and the letter are from Lex. Be good and let's see what he writes," I mumbled and opened the card.

In painstakingly neat and yet slightly spidery handwriting, which in no way hinted at the different nature of the hand that had written the lines, it read.

I am not someone who could write poetry and therefore this is not quite a poem.

But sometimes, when I think I know everything, see everything, feel everything,

you come and question everything I ever knew, saw and felt.

That scares me and at the same time I've never felt happier than when we learn, see and feel anew together.

`I'm sorry` is not enough to express how wrong I behaved.

I'll give you as much time as you want or you don't have to explain it to me at all.

I just wanted to share:

010010010110001101101000 0110110001101001011001010110001001100101 01100100011010010110001101101000

I winced as a drop landed on the paper. But it wasn't dripping from the ceiling. I was dripping. I was already in tears after the first words. It was a love letter! Lexington, my boss, my lover, gargoyle of the Manhattan clan, tech guru, Lex, my boyfriend, my frog prince, my thread to hold onto just as cerebral and technical as me if not more so, had written me a LOVE LETTER.

As well as someone like him could, I recognized that, I could feel the love in the lines. And best of all - he even wrote that he loved me. Because that's what the binary code under the text meant. I love you. He hadn't just babbled or written it like a thousand other repentant men. He hadn't stolen someone else's poem and passed it off as his own. He had written it in code. Because he was a tech nerd. Because I was a tech nerd. Because he knew, suspected, assumed that I would be able to read it. And even if I hadn't been able to, I would have googled it and still found that this way of saying I love you was OUR way.

I audibly gasped and immediately ducked down and looked around to see if anyone had noticed my emotional outburst. I didn't want anyone to see me crying here. Not out of fear this time, not out of distress. Out of pure happiness. First the flowers. Then the chocolate bars. And to top it all off, a love letter. Okay, the fact that Lex had unlocked my drawer was still a bit of an encroachment, but I didn't want to turn him 180 percent inside out any more than he wanted to do that to me. I was at that moment the happiest man in the world, my heart so wide and yet far too constricted because I imagined it almost wanted to burst out of my chest and fly to Lexington's statue to perch with him. I hastily wiped away my tears before a curious and worried colleague thought she had to question me.

I couldn't wait for my break, I wanted to rush straight to him, take his breath away with a kiss and talk to him and clear up any misunderstandings between us. At least the idea of the kiss made the wind inside me flutter in anticipation and contentedness.

I threw myself frantically into my work and although my eyes wandered over and over again to the panicle of wisteria, each time risking breaking my face in half because of my wide grin, I worked as fast and as best I could. Perhaps subconsciously I wanted to earn a place not only at Lexington's side but also in this company. Or rather, to continue to be worthy of that place. And so in the rush of numbers and billing, I only looked up again when someone tapped me on the temple and I let out a startled girly cry. My half-eaten chocolate bar, which I had been sucking on more than chewing, fell from my lips.

Anthony and Chad were both laughing. And boy, was I laughing too, still buoyant over Lexington's amorous gestures and really happy to see my team. Parts of my team.

"Nice to see you again, Chum," Chad said, pointing to the panicle of flowers. "Nice weed. Didn't think you were the flowers-at-the-desk type."

I picked up the half-munched candy bar from the floor and tossed it in the trash - it was a gift but I had plenty of others and wasn't the sort of person to eat things that had been on the floor before.

I smiled broadly as I looked at the flowers again.

"That's from Lex," I said, and I could say it with pride and affection because they "knew" Lex Eyrie from my stories and the fake photos. But I didn't want to be one of those guys who totally forgot his friends because of his lover and couldn't talk about anything else, so I changed my focus.

"Sorry I missed our gaming event on Saturday."

Ant patted me on the back and, as always, was very mellow and understanding. "It's okay, 12 hour colds are common when the season changes. And daylight lasts longer and you dress too thinly but as soon as the sun is gone it gets chilly." He nodded his head towards the window and I followed his gaze. Outside, it was pitch dark except for the lanterns as a few people were already leaving the premises. Of course, by the time the others abandoned their workplaces to come and see me, it had to be "late". And I was itching to write to Lex and find out where he was and when we could see each other, but as I said, I didn't want to leave my friends, who had also been worrying over the weekend, out in the cold. At the end of my break, I would deal with Lexington.

"You want to pick me up for the break? Where are Lavonne and Alistair?" I asked, thinking that they were probably just in the restroom together.

But Chad and Ant looked a little unhappy at each other.

"What?" I asked anxiously.

Chad scratched the back of his head.

"Nothing, actually. Lavonne had the nerve to write that we should take a break today without them."

"Why?"

"It's the curse that befalls those who work on the most important long-term projects. That's where I love my janitor job. No one checks and criticizes how I fix a sink blockage or repair the heating. But the girls ... on evenings like these, they regret their high degrees. Because they're stuck in the monthly horror meeting with Mr. Wyvern right now." Anthony shook his head, irritated with himself. "I mean Lexington. Man, still weird to call your boss by his first name."

"Horror meeting?" I asked with a frown.

"And today is apparently worse than the last few times. He's been skipping meetings for the last few months, almost leaving the engineers and development teams to their own devices... perhaps in an attempt at new employee management." I nodded but rubbed my frayed ear thoughtfully. He had let things slide at his company because of me.

"And what's so bad about the meetings? About this meeting in particular? Because they now have to report and answer for several months of work? I -I mean, Lexington Wyvern was always pleasant during the breaks when he sat with us."

"He's a nice guy, too, semi-privately during the breaks," Chad said with a shrug. "But when he's in work mode, he's always thinking three steps ahead and around ten corners, according to Lavonne, and he overwhelms people in the meetings."

"He's certainly not doing it with malicious intent or to show how far ahead of his employees he is," declared Anthony reasonably. "He just stresses everyone out, doesn't explain his approaches to changing a project enough and well - because he's a gargoyle with fangs and claws and because he's frustrated by the obtuseness of the people around him, he grumbles and rumbles and then hardly any of the staff - even the ones who can keep up - contribute."

"Because they're afraid? So ... is he a terrible boss?" I asked sorrowfully. I loved Lex and I knew what he was like and how dogged he could be. And anyone who didn't know him well could feel insecure or even intimidated by his sometimes taciturn musings full of mumbling and gargoyle noises. And I didn't want people in his company to be afraid of him. Afraid of participating because I knew that even if his counterpart had less knowledge and expertise (like me), he was happy to explain topics and his thought processes. But the others had to dare to ask. Maybe it worked differently in a meeting full of smart people (and in Lexington's case, brilliant minds), but it really hurt me internally that my friend couldn't get on the same page with the people he was working with on important projects.

"And it's worse today, and not just because of the missed meetings, is it?" I asked pensively.

"Obviously. According to Lavonne's message, Lexington himself is agitated and distracted. Another reason for more stress in the meeting and for it to take longer. No one even dares to ask for a break, even though they've been at it for almost three hours." I nodded wordlessly. What was there to say? Lex was distracted, probably because he was worried. Worried about me. How I took his gestures, whether I even wanted to reconcile with him after the way Saturday night had ended. And he went into such an important meeting in such a mood. It was counterproductive, didn't make him look good as a boss, person and gargoyle and made it difficult for everyone. And that was my fault.

I took a deep breath, then stood up and pulled my suit jacket off the back of my desk chair. I put it on and buttoned it up neatly. Although the echoes caused me to see the shadow of the gargoyle Nate out of the corner of my eye again, I looked at my reflection in the window and then made myself a new, much tidier man-bun.

"You don't have to pretty yourself up to go to the cafeteria with us," Chad commented.

"I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not going to the cafeteria for now. Not without Alistair, Lavonne and, if he wants, Lexington. I'll get them out of this awkward-for-everyone meeting. Lexington can air out his smart brain and he'll be more focused after some food."

Chad and Anthony - though they looked like night and day - seemed briefly like twins of sheer shock with their dropped jaws and wide eyes. Then Ant literally cringed in horror.

"Okay, I know Lavonne would love this wacky plan. But I have to say it. You can't crash the smarty-pants meeting and coerce our boss out of there like a dog that needs a walk. Just because we're on a first-name basis doesn't give us those rights."

If I was just an employee, I wouldn't have those rights and would really run the risk of discrediting Lex and thus provoking my dismissal. But I wasn't just an employee and I knew Lex was just as hungry for time with me as I was with him, so I was able to speak without a hint of insecurity or stuttering.

"I'm not coercing anyone. Don't worry about it. I'll smile at him nicely and ask if a break wouldn't be good and he won't take it badly," I said, knowing that I would definitely be right and walked past the two clueless and rather alarmed boys.

There were a few people standing in the hallway outside the largest conference room near Lexington's office. Not Ali or Lavonne. I recognized people from PR and HR, someone from security and some private assistants and secretaries. They were all standing around with faces like at a funeral, talking or discussing with each other but all in whisper mode. Next to a fully loaded trolley with tasty-looking pastries and sweets, a whole load of artfully topped and garnished bread rolls, numerous teacups with saucers, several pots of coffee and tea water and a whole basket full of expensive tea varieties sat a pale secretary in one of the chairs against the wall. She had taken off her high heels and one of her legs was bouncing nervously.

"Come on Veronika, just go in and put the things on the table. If nobody's going to take a break in there, they at least need a good coffee," said the man next to her, presumably one of her colleagues.

"Then you do it!" hissed Veronika. "I worked at McAfee just before it all went to shit and yes, Mr. Wyvern is a better boss than they ever were but the air in there almost makes you cry from the mental stress and tension. And that was earlier when I brought the drinks - how bad is it now?"

"Miss Jones, that's your job and Mr. Wywern won't bite your head off if you do your job and hand out the stuff. The way he is, he won't even notice you," sighed one of the HR women.

Veronika shook her head and looked up at her colleague. "I don't want to go in there, not even for a minute. Please, you do it, Trevor."

And Trevor looked like he'd rather be the vanguard in a combat mission in Iraq than go into that room. Me, Anthony and Chad exchanged glances but theirs wordlessly said very different things than mine probably did. I stepped up to the woman and rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"It's okay. I'm going in," I said because this was perfect. I wouldn't look like a psycho who blew up a meeting for no reason, but like an attentive and very resilient employee.

"You're Nathaniel Sharif!" said a woman with a red buzz cut I didn't know but who probably belonged to PR with her smart outfit. And she said it as if I had a reputation and as if it was impossible not to know me. I tried not to let on how uncomfortable that made me feel and confirmed her statement.

She and two or three other people from her ranks looked at each other and they also had wordless conversations. Presumably it was about whether they should snap at me because, as an accountant, I really had no business being here. But no one polished my scales. Instead, the woman looked at Veronika, who was quite unfit for work, and then at me. Then she probably surrendered.

"Okay," she said sternly. "Everything in there is top secret. You hear nothing in there and see nothing. You just hand out the cups and put the rest on the table. In and out - just like Mission Impossible." I grinned broadly and grabbed the tea trolley.

The way Chad, Ant and the other humans looked at me, it was a wonder no one saluted me out of respect for my boundless courage in the face of danger. Because it felt like I was walking into the nuclear fallout of Chernobyl and I was already as good as dead.

This will be one of the last slow chapters before it really gets down to business - honestly (I think). I was aiming for the end of the third book at around 60 chapters. Ohhh but I still have to solve Nathaniel's family problems ... mhmmm. Oh I can tell there's going to be way too much happening in a short time again. When the shit hits the fan, it's going to hit the fan hard.

Thanks for reading, Q.T.