Note: I have submitted Chapters 49, 50, 51, and 52 at the same time (Aug 5), in case you clicked on an email link to this chapter and are confused, you may have missed a previous chapter :)
General Content Warning: Chapters in this story may contain upsetting or triggering content including but possibly not limited to violence, consensual and non-consensual sexual references and descriptions, drug and alcohol use and abuse, references to or descriptions of mental illness, self-harm or self-injurious behavior, and references to or discussions of suicide.
~Fifty-One~
After Rand had left the bathroom, it took Cloud a long few moments to make himself move. He still felt frozen in place. His heavy breaths shortened as he found his body suddenly shaking what felt uncontrollably. It wasn't because he felt cold. He felt the opposite. Over-heated, like he could pass out he was so hot. He felt his pulse everywhere but mostly in his face that throbbed with pain as it had started to swell slightly from their short scuffle downstairs.
When he did finally move, it was to reach over next to him and close the door that Rand had left open when he walked out. It's when he noticed how hard his hands were shaking, as he struggled to secure the door with the flimsy hook that served as the lock. He knew how easy it would be to kick in the door despite it or to unlatch the hook with a knife or similar implement. He just wanted it locked in the hopes that if Rand did come back and try to enter that at least he'd have to think about how badly he wanted to get in the room right then.
With the door locked, he turned on the shower. He left if on the cooler side as he stripped off his sweaty clothes and finally stepped into the tub. He felt the heat start to leave his body immediately and was finally able to calm his breathing down, but he couldn't make himself stop shaking. It made it difficult to hold onto anything he picked up to use in there.
After cleaning himself, he shut the water off and reached for a towel to cover himself with. He had to replace the now-wet bandage on his brow before he gathered his clothes off the floor, unlocked the door again and walked his way down to his room like he was in a trance.
When he entered the bedroom he noticed an ice pack was sitting in a bowl on a hand towel on the one side table by the bed along with his meds and some ibuprofen tablets and water.
He shut the bedroom door with his still trembling hand and approached the bed slowly, dropping his clothes to the floor as he made his way there. He sat down on the bed in the towel around his waist and proceeded to take all the pills at once, drinking them down with the full glass of water.
Still only clad in the damp towel, he stood up to pull the covers down on the bed. He got himself under them and shut off the lamp next to him. He lay on his back in the darkness then holding the ice pack to his face as he stared at the ceiling and the shadows that were cast from the moonlight coming through the uncovered windows.
It was nearly midnight when he heard Rand approaching the bedroom door. He was fearful of him opening the door to try and interact with him but he didn't. He'd only approached so he could slide the lock shut on the outside of the door. Cloud felt a rush of relief that went through him at hearing the sound. He was finally able to shut his eyes and feel like it was safe to fall asleep if he could.
The following morning Rand woke him up. He hadn't heard him coming to the door, hadn't heard him unlocking it or opening it. He felt him squeezing his left upper arm, which is what ultimately woke him up.
He was groggy. Tired. Sore. He didn't wake up immediately remembering what had occurred the night before.
"I'm going downstairs to start making breakfast," the man told him softly. "Do you need any more pain killers?" He asked and he only nodded slightly as he looked up at him. "You should eat or it will give you a stomach ache," the man advised. "Come down when you're ready," he said.
The man leaned down closer to him then so he could kiss him near to the top of his head. He gave his arm something of a gentle squeeze before heading away to go make the breakfast he mentioned.
As Cloud realized he still had a towel wrapped around his waist under the covers, he remembered everything. It felt real but it also didn't. Nothing about the way Rand just spoke with him indicated he himself remembered what he'd done. The calm gentle voice, the kiss and the squeeze of his arm…
There was no way he didn't remember though. He didn't know what the man had gone on to do after he left him alone in the bathroom, if he went downstairs to drink himself into oblivion. He didn't think he had. He didn't seem hungover. Regardless, he knew the man had been at least relatively sober when he was in the bathroom with him.
It made everything about how he was interacting with him seem eerie and unsettling, as if nothing had happened at all. If it weren't for waking up in the towel, Cloud might have allowed himself to think he had imagined what happened in the bathroom.
He stopped at the bathroom first when he left his room. The space felt different. It felt dirty in there, darker and more confined. Being the only bathroom available he didn't have a choice but to use it. Walking into it was difficult to do.
He shut the door softly and looked at himself in the mirror and barely recognized what looked back at him. It wasn't the fresh bruising on his cheekbone and around his left eye. It was that in his eyes he looked as vacant and detached as he felt.
His body hadn't produced a single tear over what had happened the night before. He hadn't even felt like he needed to or even could cry at that point. He felt numb. He felt nothing other than…resigned.
Sitting downstairs at the table, eating like a robot, not tasting any of what he was consuming, he thought about how this might be his life forever. The day before, when he'd found the newspaper that indicated he was being treated as a possible suicide, he'd thought there was no way the people who cared about him would believe it and that they would continue looking for him, never giving up until they at least heard from him. That was yesterday. Before Rand managed to completely dominate him and destroy his defiance and fortitude in mere minutes.
He'd woken up feeling like there was something not unlike an implant in his brain, controlling his thoughts and extinguishing his emotions and his hopes or even cares.
He was hearing and listening to a voice in his head that said Zack and the others did believe he was dead. No one was looking for him. No one was going to rescue or save him. He was alone. Rand was never going to let him go. He was never going to give him the opportunity to escape. If he even tried, he'd quickly catch him and would show him just like he had the night before how he was the one in control, never him. He would get what he wanted when he wanted how he wanted.
The same voice in his head that told him his friends did believe he was dead also told him they were better off. It was true what he had said to Zack when they last spoke that he didn't want anyone sacrificing for him and he didn't want them to feel like they needed to. The one good thing that would come out of believing he was gone forever was that they would never have to worry about him again. Zack would never have to run out on Aerith or his job in order to check on him or handle one of his breakdowns. Zack might miss him, but the loss would get easier over time and he'd be able to recover from the trauma he'd gone through without having him as a reminder of it everyday.
As for himself…
Rand said something to him. He looked up at him where he stood next to the table.
"Did you want more?" the man asked him.
"What?" he replied nearly tonelessly.
"Did you want more to eat?" he asked.
Cloud looked down at the bowl in front of him that was empty. He hadn't even noticed he'd finished.
"Oh. No," he denied softly. He set the spoon down in it that he'd been holding.
"You must be hungry. That's the first time you've finished a meal I think," Rand remarked as he placed a hand on his back and ran a few slow circles on it before squeezing his shoulder gently like some kind of gesture of praise.
Cloud gave him the weakest of smiles, barely able to make himself respond in any way whatsoever. The man smiled back, not seeming to notice the expression was clearly forced. Maybe he did and he didn't care. Rand picked the bowl up from in front of him to take to the sink.
As for himself…Cloud was waiting for that same voice that told him to accept his friends believed he was dead and that there was no way of getting out of his current circumstances, to tell him if he could accept and survive life indefinitely with Rand.
Could he suppress his hatred for him to the point he could eventually make himself like him. Make himself love or want him? If he'd tried to ask himself that question the day before he might have thought differently. Before Rand showed him what could happen when he wanted to punish him or hurt him to remind him he was in charge.
It would never happen. If he was doomed to be with Rand the rest of his life, he was never going to be able to want him or love him because he was scared of him. More than he'd wanted to admit to himself. He'd always had some fear of him, but he'd never been scared to fight him if he had to. To rebel or behave combatively if it's what he felt like doing at the time. He supposed it was because he had always until that point felt like the man had some respect for him. The night before had ripped that rug out from under him. Now, he was scared of him like he'd never been before and he was sure he always would be.
The sound of footsteps and the front door being unlocked had Rand leaving the kitchen to approach the door. Cloud assumed Chip was back from wherever he'd been the night before. Rand had padlocked the door again so when Chip tried to enter the house he had to wait once more for him to unlock it.
"You need to quit it with the padlocks, man," Chip remarked when he was finally able to get into the house. "It's fucking weird," he added.
"It's my house. I'll secure it how I like," Rand told him, meeting his cousin's eyes for what felt like a tense stare.
"Yeah? What's next? Trenches and razor wire?" Chip asked as he broke eye-contact to untie his boots to take them off.
Rand ignored the comment and headed back to the kitchen. Chip followed after he took his coat off, approaching the table where Cloud was sitting quietly. He hadn't looked at Chip since he came inside the house.
"You two make up last night?" Chip asked as he stood at Cloud's side. Neither he nor Rand answered the question.
"Did you want some breakfast?" Rand asked his cousin instead.
"Yeah sure," Chip agreed.
Cloud barely heard either of them talking. He stared at the table in front of him. Something entered his line of vision then suddenly. Chip placed something on the table in front of him. It was a napkin that looked like it had come from a bar or tavern. There was something written over the embossed logo on it in pen. As he read the words, he felt like a shockwave went through him, electrifying his dulled senses into sudden overdrive.
'Are you Cloud Strife?'
Cloud turned his head slightly to his left first, to see what direction Rand was facing. His back was turned to them. Even so, when he looked up at Chip and made eye contact with him he shook his head. It wasn't really denial that he was conveying. He could tell when he looked at Chip that the man already knew the answer to his question. He clearly only wanted to see his reaction when realizing he knew. He shook his head as a way of telling him to forget what he knew and to not let Rand know he knew.
Having seen and experienced the darker side of Rand in a way he hadn't before, and being more afraid of him than he'd ever been before, it was the worst possible time for Chip to clue in to who he was.
He felt panic coming over him immediately at the thought of Chip confronting Rand right then. Maybe Chip could tell. He didn't know, but as Rand was turning back around in their direction, Chip quickly crumpled the napkin into his hand and shoved it into his pocket before sitting himself down. He went on to eat and converse with Rand as if everything was normal.
Cloud did his best to remain unaffected. It was only really difficult to do while they were all sitting together at the table. He wished he could actually speak to Chip, to tell him not to say anything to Rand. He couldn't see anything good coming of it if he did. The most likely outcome was that Rand would have an explanation to give him for why they'd lied about his identity. He'd also convince him that there was nothing nefarious behind the decision they made to keep his identity secret. He'd say it was something he'd wanted. He'd wanted to disappear from the world. Wanted to forget who he was and the life he once had. Wanted all who knew him to believe he was never coming back.
There was another possible outcome. Not likely, given who he felt Rand was and how skilled he was at manipulation, but possible…When confronted about the lie, if questioned about it, if he felt that he was losing control over the situation, if he felt cornered or threatened, he might do what any scared and cornered dangerous animal could do…react with aggression.
He couldn't really imagine it though, even if he'd seen his violent side. He could easily imagine him lying to Chip, talking his way out of that corner. And if Rand used him to do it, if he looked to him to confirm the lie to Chip, to tell his cousin he was willing and happy to be there, playing dead to the rest of the world, he knew he would. He wouldn't even hesitate to, because unless Chip decided to walk into a police station and tell them he knew where Cloud Strife was, confronting him or Rand about it wasn't going to change his circumstances.
Fortunately, Chip didn't say anything to Rand. Not while he was in the room at least. In fact, it felt to Cloud the man might have actually taken the shake of his head at the table to be an absolute denial in response to the question on that napkin. Like he'd concluded his suspicion was wrong. That Cloud—Jake as he knew him—only looked like this missing, presumed dead, former infantryman and human test subject.
He didn't see much of Chip the rest of the day. He and Rand resumed their routine. It was around dinner time that Chip appeared from the third bedroom upstairs and had asked to borrow Rand's vehicle. He hadn't heard the reason he'd asked to borrow it. He hadn't tried to. After some discussion, Rand gave up his key and Chip left, leaving him and Rand to once again, resume routine.
Things were different though between them. Cloud, feeling resigned, hopeless and detached, made it though the day like he made it through breakfast that morning. Like he was operating fully on autopilot. The only thing he was able to really think about were his friends and what they might be doing. He thought of Zack. Wondered if he was still in Costa del Sol. Wondered if he might not even know about his bike being found in Junon. They discouraged spending time watching television or reading anything in the news while in treatment there. Maybe he had no idea. But if one of the others had found out about it, they'd probably tell him. If he did believe he was gone, would he just be sad? Would he be mad? Would he think to himself that he'd known the bike was a bad idea. Zack had been worried he might have an accident. The rest of his life, Zack would resent he hadn't listened to him about that. That he hadn't listened when Zack had begged him not to leave Midgar on his own.
Like a polar opposite of him, Rand was overly kind and animated that day and into the evening. While early in the day, when the man had woken him up, it had seemed like he was going to pretend the night before had never happened. As the day went on, Cloud could see that wasn't exactly it. He hadn't spoke about what happened. Hadn't tried to talk about it at all, not even what happened before the bathroom. He didn't try to talk about their fight downstairs or what prompted it. He didn't talk about the newspaper article Cloud had seen that revealed Rand's attempt to either make the world believe he'd killed himself, or his attempt to conceal his bike to make it seem he'd disappeared willingly. But the way he acted felt apologetic. Regretful maybe. It didn't seem like he was pretending the night before hadn't happened. It was like he was trying everything to move the two of them past it.
Cloud saw that. It was impossible not to notice how hard he tried to make it clear he cared. But at the end of the day, he couldn't look at him and not see what had stared him down in their reflection in the bathroom mirror the night before. The person who had put a hand around his throat and forced him to submission. It was the same person who had been there in Gongaga, orchestrating and executing a program of systematic destruction on him. To elicit participation whether willing or compliant. To break his will. To break him…
He hated Rand for everything he had done in Gongaga, in Midgar, and since then. Even though he never forgot about those things, it did feel like he had on some level up to that point accepted the man's attempts to move them forward, past every terrible or unforgivable act or measure. Maybe because he had never been able to turn off the compassion or sympathy he felt for him. He felt like he'd lost so much of himself the night before. Felt like it had been torn away brutally, but he guessed he was almost grateful for that, because what the man ripped away with it had been that compassion and sympathy for him. He was just scared of him now. Scared of the way he felt so helpless next to him.
Rand had dragged him into a hell that was somehow worse than what he'd experienced with Hojo. Rand had gotten out of him what Hojo hadn't been able to fully achieve without him. Compliance. Nearly unquestioning compliance. He'd achieved it this time without help from a piece of hardware implanted into his brain. He might have scolded himself for it. Hated himself for it. Wallowed in shame. But he didn't feel anything about it. He only felt hollow.
Earlier in the day he'd thought emotionlessly about how this might be his life forever. He'd felt numb all day. Shortly after Chip had left the house with Rand's car that evening, minutes after he'd finished eating the dinner he'd been given, again without even tasting it, he suddenly no longer felt numb. He felt sick. Physically sick. It came on so fast he wasn't going to make it to the bathroom upstairs. He had no choice then but to empty his stomach contents and the meal he'd just consumed into the garbage in the kitchen.
He had barely finished throwing up when he felt like he was losing control of his breathing and he was hyperventilating and sweating. He had to sit himself down where he was on the floor next to the garbage. Rand was quickly next to him trying to calm him down but he didn't hear any of what he said to him. When he looked around, suddenly he felt like everything he was seeing had to be fake. Manufactured. None of it was real.
When he looked around, he was suddenly hit with what felt like a clear realization. He was in a simulation. One of Hojo's simulations. He was still in the mansion. He'd never left the mansion. He had been in an induced coma in storage in the mansion for years. He was still there. Everything that he'd thought had happened to him hadn't really happened. Nothing that was happening now was real. Rand wasn't real. Koda wasn't real. Marco wasn't real. The implant had never happened. He'd never been held in Gongaga. Sephiroth wasn't somehow still alive. Some of the worst things to have happened to him hadn't actually happened. It made sense. He was just asleep. Now that he knew and recognized it, it was going to end.
The simulations never ended like a dream though. They didn't stop just because he recognized what it was. It was no different this time. Rand handed him something while he was on the floor. A pill of some kind. He gave him a glass of water. Told him to take the pill that he'd handed him. He did. He didn't even think about it. He didn't need to think about it. It wasn't real. With his knees drawn up and his elbows propped against them he held his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Rand sat himself next to him on the floor and proceeded to rub his back. He didn't really feel it so much as he felt how he'd sweat through his shirt. The man talked to him and he heard only the sound, unable to make himself listen to the words he said.
In just minutes he was breathing steadily again. He felt cold and shaky. Above all else though, he felt exhausted. Felt like he was leaving his body actually. He felt…sedated. It must have been from what Rand had given him but his mind still tried to hold onto the belief he must be in a simulation and the feeling like he was starting to float was coming from the fact he was waking up, or that the simulation was finally ending.
"You should get some rest," Rand told him as he stood up and reached down to help encourage him to his feet.
"What was that?" Cloud asked him of the pill he'd swallowed down just a moment before.
"It'll help you relax," was all Rand replied with when he had him standing.
"I've seen it before," Cloud said as he was walking next to Rand while the man had a hand around his upper arm and was leading him to the stairs.
Rand didn't respond.
Everything seemed a little fuzzy and haloed. Colors seemed slightly different. When they were near the top of the stairs, Cloud recalled where he'd seen the pill. It was what Rand had used in Midgar to drug him with when they were in bed together. He expected then that Rand was bringing him upstairs for one reason. He would bring him into the bedroom and once he was too out of it to resist Rand was going to have sex with him.
The man didn't need to resort to that. If Rand tried to have sex with him he wasn't going to stop him. He didn't feel like he had the willpower or ability to fight him anymore. Either he was stuck inside a simulation and none of it was real or mattered anymore, or it was really happening and no matter what he did, he'd never be truly free from Rand and no amount of resistance from him was going to fix what had already been broken.
He was so sure Rand was taking him upstairs to sleep with him that he actually turned to start heading into the man's room.
"Next one," Rand said, stopping him with the assumption he was just confused while he was tired and clearly not feeling well.
Cloud was a little confused then as he moved on ahead to the next room, his room. Rand held onto his arm until he was sitting on the side of the bed. The man stood in front of him and asked him if he was okay. He just nodded as he looked at the floor.
"You'll feel better after a good night's sleep," the man spoke softly.
Cloud felt him take hold of his head gently. He raised his eyes to look at him.
"I do understand how it must have made you feel, seeing that news article yesterday," Rand said. "I know you must be feeling upset and betrayed. I'm sorry for how I responded. I'm sorry that we fought, and that I hurt you," he conveyed sadly. "I hope you believe me when I say that it wasn't my intention for your bike to be found and for any assumptions to have been made about what happened to you."
Cloud didn't believe him. He didn't say or do anything to tell him that though. He just sat still and quiet and let him continue.
"But I think maybe it's a really a good thing," Rand went on. "It's best that they move on…without you."
The man didn't specify, but Cloud knew he was talking about his friends.
"And…it's best that you move on without them too," Rand argued softly. "They weren't helping you. You weren't helping them. Everyone is better off this way. Eventually you'll know that. I know it's hard to let go of what you've known but sometimes it's what you need to do to move forward," he explained. "Understand?"
Cloud nodded in his grasp a little and Rand smiled.
"Do you need anything?" he asked and Cloud shook his head slightly. "Goodnight then," Rand said before leaning in and placing a kiss on his forehead.
The man left him alone finally. As soon as the door was shut he lay himself down and shut his eyes, ready to sink into sleep with the hope of waking up from the nightmare simulation he was trapped in, or at the very least putting another day behind him.
000
After they'd closed up the bar the night before, Zack and Tifa had watched some of the news coverage on Cloud's disappearance and what was being said about his bike being found in Junon. They decided together that it was probably going to work in their favor. They were pretty certain that Rand had been responsible for putting Cloud's bike in the harbor.
Based on all the evidence that had been uncovered by Johnny and Reno in Junon, it was looking like the man had executed a plan that involved making it look like both he and Cloud had committed suicide or perished in freak accidents in separate incidents at different times and in different places so that there wouldn't be any apparent connection.
If that was true, then Cloud's presumed death in the media was also possibly part of his plan. Either he thought no one would ever recover Cloud's bike and anyone who knew him would think he just disappeared by choice, or he figured eventually the bike would be found and it would make it clear he was gone and wasn't coming back. There was no point in looking for him.
Either way, Zack and Tifa decided that it wasn't likely the news coverage would rattle Rand. When Zack spoke with Johnny, he agreed. He and Reno were going to keep checking up on possible locations were Rand and Cloud could be.
That night, only a few hours after opening at the bar, Zack spotted Tseng as the man was coming toward him at the bar counter. He had to do a double take though to be sure it was him. The man looked to be growing out some facial hair. He couldn't remember ever having seen him without a cleanly shaved face.
"Tseng?" Zack said to him when he reached the counter. "I hardly recognized you," he commented of his appearance. "I'd say nice coverage you got but I'm not sure how I feel about it," he teased.
"Me either," Tseng replied lightly.
"You here for a drink?" Zack asked him. He didn't think the man would be there to consume any amount of alcohol, even if he was off work for the night.
"A few minutes of your time actually," Tseng told him what he suspected. "But I'll take whatever is on your zero percent tap."
"Sure," Zack said as he reached below the counter for a clean glass.
"Do you have a break coming up?" the man asked him as he was filling the glass slowly.
"Uh…give me a few," he requested softly. He was apprehensive about what Tseng wanted to talk about. He guessed though that it was likely to do with Cloud. That or Hojo. He figured though if the man were coming there to tell him they had conclusive proof Hojo was dead and gone he'd seem a little more upbeat.
"I'll wait over there," Tseng said, nodding his head toward a table in one of the corners of the room. Zack just gave him a short nod.
It was just him working the front right then so he had to peek his head into the back area where Tifa was to ask her to come out there. She was busy putting together some sandwiches for a few of the patrons. She'd decided recently to start offering a few food items between certain hours. It seemed to be working out well, except that it meant more things to do in a night.
"Hey, can you cover out here while I take a short break?" he asked.
"What time is it?" she asked after glancing back briefly at him.
"Not my break time," Zack confirmed what she was already thinking. "Tseng is here. He asked to talk," he told her, making her look at him once more.
"Oh," she replied with some obvious interest as to what the Turk leader wanted to talk about. "Okay, no problem," she said. "What's it about?" was her question as she finished prepping the sandwiches.
Zack just shrugged. He held the door open for her as she headed out to the bar area with a plate in each hand. As she went to deliver them to two men sitting at a nearby table, Zack made his way over to Tseng.
"It's busy tonight," the man commented when Zack pulled out a chair at his table.
"No it isn't," was Zack's quick response.
"Really?" Tseng said with surprise. It looked to him like most of the tables had at least one or two people seated at them. Only a couple stools were open at the bar counter.
A busy night for Zack was standing room only when the place was so loud he couldn't hear his own thoughts. When it was impossible for just one person to manage alone or even with a second person.
"Seasonal layoffs have started though," Zack told Tseng.
With the weather getting colder, people who worked outside of the city during the warmer months of the year would be getting let go until the following year and would be returning to their homes. Many of them were from the slums so it was only going to get busier over the winter.
"Tifa's thinking of hiring more help for out front," Zack said. "Probably also someone for the kitchen now that she's introduced a menu."
"Too much business is a fortunate problem to have, I suppose," Tseng said with a polite smile.
Zack hummed in agreement. "So?" he said then with a little bit of anxious energy stirring up in him. Tseng still hadn't launched into why he was there so he took a guess. "You saw the news, I assume. Cloud."
"I did," Tseng replied with a nod. "I'm sorry."
"About?" Zack questioned.
"Well, this obviously isn't the outcome you were hoping for after you were informed Cloud had gone missing," Tseng noted. "Even though they'd located his bike and obviously had assumptions about how it ended up there, hearing that the authorities are all but convinced he's no longer with us has to be difficult."
"Sure," Zack agreed, nodding a little. That's all he had to give the man though in terms of a reaction, something Tseng clearly took note of.
"I have to say, you seem to be taking it rather well," the man pointed out dryly, like he already knew the reason behind that. Zack was already sighing heavily and slumping back in the chair holding him before Tseng told him, "Listen, I know that Reno and Johnny Six have been out in Junon doing some investigative work of their own."
"It's not really a secret," Zack replied with a shrug, refusing to show any kind of embarrassment, guilt or regret for not having kept the man in the loop.
"It isn't?" the man asked back with a raised eyebrow. "Well, aside from your face right now giving 'it's a secret' vibes, I spoke with Reno today and he indicated to me that if I wanted an update that I would have to speak with you."
Zack couldn't help but smirk a little at what he was saying.
"Bet you never thought you'd see the day. Reno icing you out," he remarked.
"No," Tseng agreed with a tight smile in return. His expression neutralized quickly though. "Being directed to you for information is a good indication that you, in fact, have information you could share."
Zack found himself looking down at the table then, thinking about how he should respond. Tseng could tell he was reluctant to speak. He wasn't sure yet why.
"You believe with certainty that Cloud is alive?" Tseng asked, starting with what he imagined would be the easiest admission for Zack.
"Yes," Zack said.
"Reno and Johnny found proof of that in Junon?" Tseng inquired, clearly anxious to know what the proof was, if so.
"Not exactly," Zack denied. "We have proof that he didn't end up in the harbor."
"What was the proof of that?" Tseng asked and Zack hesitated. He seemed nervous. "You don't want to say," the man noted. "Why?"
Zack rubbed at his chin a little before responding. "I don't want to say because I think the only shot of getting Cloud home safe is if the appearance is maintained that no one is looking too hard for him. Or at all, now that that news coverage has aired."
Tseng only looked at him for a moment as he took in his explanation. He leaned on his elbows on the table then between them, leaning in a little closer to Zack.
"You believe he's in danger," he said to Zack. It wasn't a question, he was just reading him and his eyes. "Because he's not alone?" he guessed and Zack gave the slightest expression of confirmation without saying anything. "You know who he's with?" Again there seemed to be something in his eyes that said as much. "Who?" Tseng asked and Zack looked away. "You won't say?"
Zack leaned forward on the table then, onto his forearms. He picked up a cardboard coaster on the table and tapped it a little on the table, looking at it instead of the man ahead of him.
"Do you not trust me with the information?" Tseng asked and Zack shook his head a little.
"It's not that…I trust you, Tseng," he told the man slowly. "I think I'm just scared…because I honestly believe if he suspects we're onto him that he'll move with Cloud somewhere we'd never find him, if he hasn't already."
"He," Tseng responded quietly. "Do you…"
Zack kept his eyes down even as the man trailed off. He didn't know why he couldn't just say the guy's name. It was like if he said it out loud he was bringing some kind of curse down on them.
"Is it Rand?" Tseng asked after a moment of silence. Zack only looked up to meet his eyes in confirmation and Tseng sighed, sitting back in his chair. "It makes sense," he noted aloud. He sounded very tense suddenly. "How do you know?" he asked. Still sensing clear hesitation from Zack, he told him adamantly, "I will not jeopardize your mission to find Cloud. Please, tell me what you know."
Without any more delay, Zack shook his head and finally launched into the details Tseng wanted to have.
"Johnny and Reno came through with pretty clear evidence," he began as he dropped the coaster in his hand. "Security footage that shows them together in that parking garage, leaving together in a car. Rand has a unit in the apartment attached to the garage. Seems like he was using a fake name, or maybe it's his real one, hard to tell. A neighbor confirmed he was living in the building by identifying him in a photo Johnny showed him. A few months back, Rand sent an audio message to Cloud on some kind of device. Cloud wouldn't let me hear it or tell me exactly what he said. All he would say at the time was that it was an apology."
Tseng nodded as he listened carefully. Zack went on.
"Later, after Cloud was in Junon, he told me that Rand had actually mentioned the Shinra project shares in his message. He told him he had signed ownership of them to him and that he just needed to be in Junon to sign for them. Personally, I think he probably lured Cloud out to Junon using the shares, knowing he'd likely come alone, but I don't have any proof of that. It's just a feeling."
"Did he actually sign ownership to Cloud?" Tseng asked.
"Yes," Zack confirmed, surprising Tseng a little. "I have the paperwork that Cloud sent to me. I don't know if it was during the share transfer that they first made in-person contact out there but we believe, based on what Reno and Johnny dug up, that they had contact at least once in person before they were seen on that security footage at the parking garage."
"And Cloud said nothing to anyone?" Tseng questioned.
Zack just shook his head. He noted that Tseng seemed a little skeptical. He knew the man was probably having a hard time believing Cloud would have voluntarily had contact with Rand after everything, or that he hid the fact he had. It was something they all had a hard time with.
"Why, do you think?" Tseng asked and Zack shrugged before leaning back in his chair again.
"I could guess. Maybe he was worried about what I'd do. Maybe he was worried what people would think. Maybe he was ashamed. I've considered he may have been protecting him." He shook his head then. "I really don't know. Regardless, the timeline we were able to put together has Cloud leaving Junon after receiving the shares. He was about four hours south when he got that phone call from you, about…you know."
Tseng lowered his head a moment. "I'm sorry," he spoke with regret.
"I know," Zack replied softly. He had forgiven that mistake on the man's part. "Well for whatever reason," he went on, "Cloud turned around after that and headed back to Junon where he went to that parking garage at Rand's building. I figure he must have already been there at least once if he knew where to go. He parked his bike in the garage and for some reason left it there when he checked into a motel the next day."
"The next day," Tseng was quick to question in confusion. "He spent the night at Rand's?"
"I guess," Zack said. "All we have are guesses. The cops let on to Reno that at some point Cloud had been admitted to the hospital out there. They didn't say when or why. I feel like it might have been that night. I spoke to him on the phone that night. I'd gotten this really bad feeling that he was in trouble or just that something wasn't right. When he answered he was intoxicated and really emotional over finding out about his son."
"I really regret not waiting to tell him about it," Tseng told him. "It was a terrible error in judgement."
"I get why you told him," Zack said. "That you felt it was time he know. You're not to blame for whatever happened after," he told the man who looked like he was enduring a heavy dose of guilt right then.
Tseng took a deep breath. He shook his head a little, maybe trying to shake away that guilty feeling for the time being.
"So, he went to see Rand after finding out?" he acknowledged. "Why?"
"To confront him maybe," Zack suggested as a likely possibility.
"Yes," Tseng agreed. "Of course. Rand was involved partly, judging by what Reno witnessed. Cloud must have been very distraught if he abandoned his vehicle."
"Yeah. Abandoned his vehicle. Then lied about leaving Junon to come home. Then decided he was never going to come home again," Zack recounted.
"Poor boy," Tseng uttered sadly as he looked down.
"Yeah…" Zack responded sadly as well. He had to keep himself from getting emotional again over it. He pushed past the feelings and refocused the conversation. "So anyway, Reno saw him a couple days later, after I'd left for Costa del Sol. Reno said he seemed okay, physically at least. He did reiterate he didn't want to come back to Midgar. We don't really know what his plan was after that exactly but we know the next day he checked out of the motel and met up with a friend. Cloud supposedly told the guy he was headed out of town but they made dinner plans for that night."
Tseng nodded as he listened. Zack looked over at Tifa who gave him a slightly inquisitive look, maybe wondering how much longer he was going to be talking with Tseng, or just wondering what they were talking about. He gave her a slight nod in acknowledgement and went on to Tseng quickly.
"Not too long after that, Cloud sent a text response to his friend telling him he wasn't going to make it to dinner. So, we believe it was at that point he was with Rand, likely at his apartment. If he was planning to leave town, then he was obviously going to need to pick up his bike. A neighbor told Johnny and Reno she heard what sounded like a fight or some kind of scuffle coming from his apartment. A security guard who was working that night saw Cloud's bike get driven out of the lot by some person hiding their identity. Later that night two people who we are pretty sure were Cloud and Rand were on security footage from the parking garage getting into a car together. It looked like they had luggage with them. That was it."
"Is it possible Cloud went with him willingly?" Tseng asked.
"Is it possible he went without putting up much of a fight?" Zack asked back. "Yes. Willingly? I guess it's possible but is it likely? No. I don't think Cloud wants anything to do with him, but that asshole has somehow managed to maintain some level of control over him this whole time. Even when he was out of the picture, he was never fully out of it, you know what I mean?"
"I do," Tseng said. "Well, if he's with Rand then he is definitely in danger. I assume Rand managed to cover his tracks effectively."
"Yeah, he's got the financial resources to do that," Zack reasoned. "All we really have at this point is another name he was using. Reed Baxter. That's the name he was using at the apartment in Junon. Our thoughts are that he's hiding out with Cloud at a property that he owns. I think it's probably somewhere remote but none of the addresses Johnny and Reno managed to come up with during their investigating really fit fully. My gut tells me that there's no real trail that will easily lead to where they are. He wouldn't be that stupid. But I do think it's a place that he has a personal connection to.
"Like a family property?" Tseng suggested.
"Possibly. And if we knew where he came from I think we could possibly find Cloud."
Tseng nodded to himself, stroking his growing facial hair a little. "Reed Baxter," he said the name aloud as if logging it into a database
"Is there anything at all you can tell me about the guy I may not already know?" Zack asked. "He was hired by Shinra. He must have had to give a resume or something like that?"
Tseng shook his head as he looked at him straight. "No, unfortunately. It wasn't like that. The former president had something of a black book. Cane was approved because of his connections through that book. I was only able to confirm he was approved to be involved with Hojo's project and that the name Randon Cane was known and vetted."
"What about the people who came up with the implant?" Zack asked then. "Galen said they were Rand's people."
"I'm not sure," Tseng told him.
"Well," Zack sighed as he pushed his chair back to stand up. "I gotta get back to work but if you think of something…"
"I'll let you know," Tseng agreed as he stood up as well. "I promise I'll remain discrete as a I do my best to come up with something of value," he said as he prepared to leave.
"Thanks," Zack said. "Not finishing your zero beer?" he asked as he noted the glass was barely touched.
Tseng grimaced a little. "Not a hot seller is it?" he asked rhetorically.
"Not so much," Zack answered with a smirk. He knew it to be pretty terrible tasting and no one drinking in the slums was trying to stay sober.
"Thank you though," Tseng said as he reached into his pocket for his wallet.
"Forget it, it's on the house," Zack told him.
They said goodbye and Zack went to where Tifa was to give her a quick update before getting back to work. He really hoped Tseng would actually be able to give them something useful.
000
Rand huffed a little as he checked the time on his watch for probably the hundredth time that hour. Chip still wasn't back with his vehicle. It was starting to get late. It surprised him when he heard footsteps coming up the porch steps our front. Not having heard the sound of any vehicle, he didn't think it could be Chip. He was relieved to see his cousin coming through the front door, but his relief was quickly replaced with irritation and confusion.
"Why are you so late?" he asked, his tone sharp. "I didn't hear the car on the driveway coming in."
"That's because it's not out there," Chip told him.
"What?"
"It's a couple miles up the road with a flat," his cousin revealed.
"You left it?" Rand exclaimed in shock. Chip shrugged a little.
"There was no jack in the car," he tried to claim.
"Yes, there is," Rand told him.
"No, there isn't," Chip argued. "I checked."
"So, you just left it on the side of the road?"
Sighing, Chip responded tiredly and like Rand was making a big deal out of nothing. "I can go back with a jack if you have one here somewhere that I don't know about," he replied casually. "I woulda called for a tow but," he lifted his arms at his sides briefly, "no phone."
"There isn't a jack here," Rand said as he rubbed his face in frustration. "Damn it, Chip!"
"Relax," Chip said. "The Branstons will have one."
"You can't go over there," Rand was quick to tell him.
"You can."
Rand shook his head. "If I ask to borrow a jack then Byron is going to want to help," he pointed out.
"So? Let him. He'll probably give you a ride up to where I left it on Line Eighty," Chip remarked. "What?" he asked as he noticed the look of deep concern setting into his cousin's expression. He actually looked like he was starting to panic.
"I can't just leave Jake here," Rand told him.
"Why?" Chip questioned. "Where is he?"
"Upstairs. Sleeping, I think. He's not feeling well," Rand explained.
"That's fine. I'll be here if he needs anything," Chip assured him. "Or like I said, convince the Branstons to give you their jack and give it to me and I'll go back and deal with the tire." He waited for a response from Rand but his cousin seemed to be zoned out, pacing slowly back and forth in front of him. "Or do you want to call for a tow?"
"No," Rand responded finally as he came to a stop in place. "I'll call Byron."
Chip headed outside after the Branstons's pickup truck was out of view up the driveway, carrying his cousin off in the direction of his disabled vehicle. He walked up to the road to make sure they were headed away in the right direction. He had a little time but not much. It wasn't going to take them long to switch out the flat tire. He headed around the side of the house first, into the woodshed where he had placed his hunting rifle earlier. Once he had it in his hand he headed back into the house.
Things were going how he wanted them to so far. He hated that he'd found himself in the position where he had to resort to lying or deceiving someone he cared about but his cousin had put him in that position. Randy had been lying to him and deceiving him for weeks.
The night before, he'd been at a bar. There he'd seen Jake's face on a television screen during a news recap. He was pretty sure it was Jake, only he was being called something else. Cloud Strife. And he wasn't just some close friend or partner of his cousin's who was struggling with addiction. The guy was ex-military. He was also a former Shinra SOLDIER, a pretty notorious one it seemed, for the worst reasons.
He'd left the bar and gone to an acquaintance's place, borrowed his phone to look up who Cloud Strife was and had quickly learned why he was someone of interest in the public eye.
But how and why did he end up where he was now? How did his cousin end up with him?
His searching answered that for him too. He'd come across video clips showing his cousin with Strife at some treatment facility somewhere. From what he gathered, his cousin had been working with Shinra, the company later making admissions that Strife had been subjected to unwanted and illegal experimentation by their science department for several years. His cousin had been party to that. He knew that's what it looked like at least.
But it didn't answer the obvious question. Why was Cloud here in the woods with his cousin? Was he hiding or just being hidden? He didn't want to jump to conclusions but they were easy to jump to. The first time he'd met Cloud, he'd been handcuffed to a table. Randy had wanted him out of the house, exiled him to the bunkhouse to keep him separated from Cloud. Once he'd moved into the house he'd noticed locks on all the doors, including Cloud's. He'd watched how the two of them interacted. The relationship between them barely seemed to pass for a friendship. It was hard to imagine more than that could be going on between them. But he hadn't wanted to come to the worst conclusion right away.
Even if his cousin had been involved with Shinra and the whole science department scandal, it was possible that along the way Cloud and Randy had developed a connection. Cloud said they'd lived together at one point. He imagined it could be possible Cloud really wanted to disappear and had asked Randy to help him do that. And perhaps he really did have issues with his mental health and addiction. Given what he supposedly went through with Shinra, it wasn't hard to believe…
But he also knew his cousin. He'd known him his whole life. He wished the man that he knew weren't capable of stealing someone away and stopping them from leaving, but he'd seen behaviors in the past from him that were concerning. Possessive and jealous behavior. An overwhelming need to be in control.
Regardless, he knew it was still more than possible Cloud wanted to be with his cousin, even if their relationship had obvious signs of being a toxic one. After realizing who Randy's guest actually was, he considered confronting him and asking what was really going on, but quickly recognized the danger that put Strife in if the scenario was actually the worst case one.
The morning after seeing that news story and reading up on what had gone on with Shinra and Strife as far as what was publicly released, he decided to approach Cloud first. He wanted to see his reaction to being recognized for who he actually was. So he'd shown him a bar napkin with a simple question on it. Are you Cloud Strife? His reaction told him everything he needed to know.
He'd seen the blood drain from his face. If it had rushed to his face he'd have assumed he was embarrassed for being caught lying about who he was as he voluntarily remained 'missing' or 'presumed dead' by those looking for him.
He wasn't embarrassed. He was scared. His first concern was to look over at Randy, to see if he was watching, before responding to the question. He shook his head and he knew by looking in his eyes Strife was asking him to stay quiet and to not let his cousin know that he knew the truth.
He'd felt the anxiety radiating off him in that moment. Something had been different when he walked in that morning. He'd broken up a fight between them the evening before. At the time he thought it was a fight. It had clearly gotten physical but he had assumed it to be something domestic in nature. Another indicator of their relationship being a toxic or volatile one and evidence they shouldn't be together. In light of what he'd learned though it looked like something else entirely. His cousin attempting to restrain and control Cloud in that moment using physical violence. He'd never really seen that side of his cousin before. He'd seen him get angry. He'd seen how brutal he could be in a boxing ring, but he'd never seen him be violent or physically aggressive with another person outside of it.
What had happened had clearly changed the atmosphere between Randy and Strife. They both had visible injury from the altercation, but Strife's face had significantly more bruising. It looked like he'd taken a pretty hard punch directly to the left side of his face. Aside from physical injury though, the air in the room was heavy and cold. Randy seemed tense. Cloud seemed like he wasn't even in the room, even if his body was. He looked like he was somewhere far away in his own head.
He didn't know how the night progressed after he walked out. He'd been pissed with Randy and thought the two of them could use the space to cool off from whatever fight they had. Whether it was the physical altercation that did it or something afterward, the result was pretty noticeable. They didn't seem like two people in a toxic but consensual relationship. At the moment they seemed like strangers.
He didn't need the words to come out of Strife's mouth to give him the answers he needed right then. He wasn't hiding who he was by choice. He wasn't there in that house by choice. Being physically controlled and restrained by handcuffs and locks hadn't been his choice and those measures of restriction weren't to keep him from hurting himself. They were used for the most obvious reason he'd pushed to the back of his mind because he wanted to trust his cousin and his explanations. They were to keep Strife from running. To keep him from escaping.
His world had shifted very quickly onto a different axis with the confirmation of the worst of his suspicions and he couldn't let his cousin know. He saw how worried Strife was that he was going to let on to Randy what he knew. He couldn't let himself think back on the last few weeks and begin examining everything he'd witnessed with the truth now in his mind. There was no way he'd be able to stay unaffected and calm. So, he quickly pushed what he knew out of his mind and went about as if everything was fine. Out of sight of his cousin, after breakfast, he started to pull together a plan quickly.
He wasn't going to let what had been going on continue for even one more night. Strife was in danger, more than he felt he had been leading up to that point. Tension between them had clearly escalated to the point where Randy had actually physically injured him and their altercation the night before had obviously affected Strife. He didn't seem anything like the person he'd spent a little time with in that house. Mentally he must have been near to a breaking point. He'd been to prison himself, so he knew what it was like to feel caged with no end in sight. Weeks could feel like decades.
It was hard for him to see how an ex-military infantryman and SOLDIER could be in his position though. He would have expected he had the physical capabilities and training to fight and get himself out of a situation he didn't want to be in. It made him realize that the control his cousin had over him ran deep. He had so many questions and he was going to try to get those answers from his cousin eventually. What he needed to do first was get Strife out of there, but to do that he needed Randy out of the house.
He came up with a plan that wasn't foolproof in the least. It was a long shot but it was the best option without getting anyone involved who didn't need to be, namely cops. He wasn't trying to get himself or his cousin in trouble. If Cloud chose to go to the cops then he probably had a right to. By then, he and his cousin would be gone.
First, he retrieved his hunting rifle where he had it stored out of sight in the bunkhouse. He got Randy to let him borrow his car. He'd gone to purchase some supplies for the road trip he and his cousin would be leaving on in a matter of hours and filled the car with gas. On his way back, a few miles from the house, he pulled over and punctured one of the tires to flatten it. He found the jack in the trunk and threw it into the woods when he was walking back to the house.
He hoped his cousin would do what he was pretty sure he'd do. He'd want to go out to get the car as soon as possible. If he was also on the run or trying to stay hidden, he wouldn't want the car just sitting there where cops could come around and find it and start looking for an owner. He knew Randy probably wouldn't want to get any tow operators involved because they'd have to take a report. He'd want to go deal with the car himself.
His cousin had done what he hoped. That gave him and Strife a little time, but not much. Unfortunately, other than getting him the window of opportunity to leave and get away, there wasn't a lot more he could do. He would direct him to where he could get some help. There'd be enough time before he was able to get to a phone for him and his cousin to disappear. That was going to have to do.
Rifle in hand, he climbed the stairs inside the house and made his way quickly to the room Strife had been sleeping in. He disengaged the lock on the outside and opened the door. He could see he was asleep, pretty soundly by the looks of it. It took some firm prodding and shaking to actually get him to wake.
Cloud felt disoriented as he was abruptly pulled from deep sleep by being shaken awake. He was confused, had no idea what time it was or why Rand was suddenly waking him. He hadn't managed to even pry his heavy eyelids open fully when he felt his left arm being pulled hard, forcing him to sit up. He heard a voice telling him to get up. It wasn't Rand's voice.
He looked up at Chip standing at the bedside next to him. He had a gun in his left hand. It looked like a hunting rifle.
"Get up. Come on," the man spoke gruffly as he let go of his arm.
"What's going on?" Cloud asked, turning his head to look at the clock next to the bed.
It wasn't morning yet. He'd only been asleep a few hours. He remembered he'd taken that pill Rand had given him downstairs. He still felt a little under the influence of it.
Oh my god, he thought to himself as he remembered what he'd been feeling and thinking before Rand gave him that pill. He'd lost touch with reality. He'd been convinced he was in one of Hojo's simulations. Nothing had felt real. Not his surroundings, not Rand, nothing from the past few years…
After a few hours asleep, he had a grip once more on what was real. He wasn't imagining Chip standing over him with a gun in his hand. He was actually there.
"You're getting out of here," Chip told him.
"What?" he asked back fast, shaking his head. Maybe he actually was imagining him there.
"You ain't here by choice are ya?" Chip asked rhetorically. "C'mon. Randy's not here right now," the man said. "You can get out of here."
Cloud heard what he said but he was frozen, not sure he believed what he was hearing. Rand had left the house? Left him there alone with Chip? He couldn't see Rand doing that.
"Unless you wanna stay," Chip said with impatience.
He couldn't make himself move. He didn't know why. When he stayed where he was, Chip took hold of his arm again and pulled him from the bed. With the man walking behind him, a hand on his back pushing him forward, Cloud headed down the stairs to the main floor where Chip shoved a winter coat into his chest. He took hold of it loosely.
"You need to hurry up," the man told him. "He won't be gone very long."
All he could do then was stare down at the coat he was holding onto.
"Cloud!" Chip said his name loudly, drawing his attention back, snapping him out of the trance he felt he'd sunk into momentarily.
"I can't," Cloud said, finding his voice finally. "If he gets back and sees I'm not here…" he shook his head slowly as he thought about it. "You don't know what he'll do," he concluded.
Chip scoffed and lifted the gun at his side a little. "He's going to do exactly what I fucking tell him to do, or else," he claimed. "This is it. This is your chance to get out of here. It may end up being the only one, kid."
Cloud knew that was probably true. As scared as he was, he didn't have a choice but to take the chance Chip was giving him. With only a slight nod then in acceptance he pulled on the coat Chip gave him and headed to the door to get his boots on quickly.
"How did you find out who I am?" he asked without looking back.
"Your picture is on the news," Chip replied. "He was working for Shinra, huh?" he questioned, though he knew his cousin had been. It was out there in the media archives. He'd been going by a different name but it was him. He'd seen him in video clips and photos. "He took part in what went on, what they did to you?"
Cloud stayed quiet. Didn't look at him.
"How, uh," Chip started to ask but had to break to clear his throat a little. "How involved was he in all that?" he finally got out.
Cloud paused to glance over at him. He looked like he was going to respond but he didn't, resuming tying his boot laces.
"Fuck," Chip cursed under his breath as he finally let it sink it fully. His cousin had participated in something truly messed up. Cloud didn't need to confirm it with words. He could read the answer on him. It was gut-wrenching.
"Are you going to call the police?" Cloud asked.
"He's family," Chip said, letting him know that he wasn't planning on involving police. "He needs help. I'm going to deal with him, I promise. You don't have to worry about him."
Chip approached the front door but he faced Cloud and paused as he was about to open it to let him outside. He had to know then. "Why'd he bring you here?" he questioned. "What does he want?"
Cloud struggled with how to answer that as he faced him again finally. He couldn't tell him anything other than the truth, as simple and complicated as it was at the same time.
"He thinks I belong to him. He can't let go."
Chip gave a short uncomfortable nod in acknowledgement. "I'm sorry," he said as he opened the door. "I knew something wasn't right, from day one. I should have done something sooner."
All Cloud could do was shake his head. He wanted to tell him it was okay. That he didn't need to feel bad or guilty for anything, but he couldn't formulate the words quickly enough before Chip was giving him directions.
"Head to the right, stay off the road. About a mile and a half down there's a trailer park. Someone there should be able to help. They'll have a phone or be able to get you to town."
Cloud was hesitant then. Something told him it was a huge mistake to go, but it might have just been his anxiety going quickly into overdrive. Chip physically pushed him out the door then onto the porch, making that decision for him.
"Go!" he commanded and without giving it any more thought, Cloud pushed through the screen door outside and headed down the steps where he started to run towards the tree line.
Chip watched after Cloud until he couldn't see him any longer. He headed back into the house then to wait for his cousin to get back.