Kendall pushes the heavy leaves of drooping palm trees out of his way to shuffle across the courtyard and into the gates surrounding the pool. Neon blue waters spill into it from a rock fixture decorated with fake moss, giant hot air balloons made to look like glowing purple jellyfish bob just above the heads of all the people, and there's a bar giving out drinks full of neon green liquid.
Music plays from the speakers manned by Chaz the DJ in the back. Carlos is here, closer to the exit. He's sipping from his fishbowl and the green liquid still glows on his lips. He's very handsome in all the lights. Kendall sits down beside him and waits to be noticed.
Carlos pushes through the lingering ache in his jaw to look up at Kendall a sigh of relief escapes his lips, "You're okay."
"Why wouldn't I be Carlos? Is there something you want to tell me about Compstance?" Kendall asks.
Carlos only shakes his head, "I just want to go to bed."
Summer's end always sucks. Going from waking up at two in the afternoon and catching the sun on your skin for the first few hours you're awake to waking up every morning at five A.M. to begin rehearsals, take classes, and attend all the interviews possible in a hour just to go home late for dinner and turn in for bed at Ten P.M. would be bad enough. Add whatever Carlos has been dealing with and it's so much worse.
Kendall would be a liar if he said he didn't find Carlos attractive. He removes his sweater and rests them on the back of a cabana chair, pulls up to sit next to the depressed boy, waves down the bartender and orders two white tea shots. Then he proceeds to roll up a blunt of the weed he'd been huffing on for a good week now. Bottom of the bag, just in time for the Summer's end.
"You know... I've got this dream." Says Kendall as a cake with a sparkler burns past the two of them.
Carlos looks up with a tired face to silently ask Kendall to go on.
so Kendall tells him, "I want to travel the states in the back of a pick-up truck selling pot to townies and playing my guitar. I also want a life by the water somewhere, working nights as a bartender and spending my mornings catching a tan. Or, one day I could rent out rooms in a cabin at a ski-resort. You know how much I hate being alone."
"We're going into our senior year, Kenny. You've gotta choose. You can't have it all." Carlos tells him, which of course was not at all what Kendall was referring too.
Kendall shrugs, "Yeah. Maybe. Or... maybe I can. It's impossible to know the future Carlos but it's impossible to get there if you're stuck in a moment. I'm going to ask you again..." he says as he pulls the smoke from the blunt into his lungs, "what happened to you at Compstance. I want you in my future, Litos, I cannot leave you in that moment. So you need to tell me."
"It was the arcade city week." Carlos begins taking the roll from Kendall, "I had designed my own solo for the scenes I had. A producer, who really liked what he saw, lead me to Dan. We talked, and it all seemed like my dreams were about to come true. He even set up the interview with Britney. Then everything got really, uneasy. Dan left the room and told the producer, "Make sure it's paid in full."
Kendall's stomach flipped. His breathing got labored and he waited, almost impatiently, for Carlos to say it.
The crowd was moving. Most were intertwined with the chaos of the music. Others were making out in a nearby tent, or on a bright pink float. The torches flickered their fire and Carlos looked at Kendall with an expression of the shattered as he said, "The producer r-raped me. I froze, I didn't know what to say or do. He hurt me and ever since I- just. I- I'm decaying."
He laid a hand on his chest and panic began to set into his eyes. He was about to fall apart but the sound of someone's voice made Carlos swallow it all and lean into the pain of his jaws throwing back another white tea shot.
"Kendall." It was Logan, James, and Katie.
Kendall swallowed his panic and smile at his people. They seemed to glow in the night and super excited to see him. He explained that the interview took longer than expected and he found 'something good' but that he wouldn't be sharing any information until it felt right. They made their fusses and he rolled his eyes.
"Logan, what are you wearing? This isn't you. You look like a douche." Kendall said honestly in an attempt to turn the conversation and give Carlos a break. He even took another shot himself.
Katie, with her arms crossed over her chest, playfully nudged Logan. She said, "He's trying to impress someone."
"Katie!" He cries but there's a deep blush on his cheeks and he decides to come clean, "I've got a thing for Chaz Parlulten."
To this, Carlos spins in his chair and offers a sincere smile. Through the paid he says, "He'd be really good for you."
Logan widens his eyes and his pink cheeks turn a deeper red. Of course Carlos would know more about Chaz than anyone else there. They've both worked for Dan on several projects. Until Chaz went off and took control of his own career. Who needs television when your skills are more built for a real world.
"I... think so too." Logan said sweetly.
To which Kendall adds, "Yeah, agreed. He's a good match for Logan but this-" he waves at Logan's current outfit, "Isn't you. Go put on the salmon button up and some jean shorts. Please? Trust me?"
Then he looks at James who's resting his elbows on the countertop, "Will you keep Carlos company while I take Logan back upstairs?"
"Always." Says James with the fall of the waters directly behind him.
A group of girls come up to Katie and pull her away to the dance floor. Kendall slides off his chair and as he steps out through the brush with Logan, James slides into the chair himself. He looks down at Carlos with anticipation, a need to tell him the truth. The bartender drops off the bottle of wine James like and lets him know that he has to relieve another bartender on the other side of the pool house leaving the two of them alone.
"You're an asshole." Blurts James.
Carlos, with an angry furrowed brow, looks up at him. He doesn't even dignify the statement with a response. He just sits there baffled.
"I'm your person." Says James, "I'm over here spiraling out of control because I need to tell you how I feel about you and you've been shutting me out for weeks. I have a right to be angry."
Carlos swallows hard and ashes the blunt in a galaxy trey on the bar top before a support beam. He huffs out his chest, "Your feelings? I was raped, James. I've been trying to figure out how to tell you. What- how- I don't know how to tell my best friend that I was in a really traumatic event and seeing Lizzy Charmicheal do MY dance on LETYO has me fuming. YOUR FEELINGS?"
He stands up and pushes out his chair snagging Kendall's sweater as he goes. He comes up short, "What? What could possibly be so important for you to tell me about how your feeling?"
James sits there, stunned. His silence is answer enough for Carlos. So Carlos leaves and heads through the trail that cuts between two walls of hedges and wraps around the lot. He doesn't want to go back to the apartment yet. He wants to give Logan and Kendall enough time to do what they need to do so he can sneak back in their unnoticed. If he's lucky, he'll get back after Ms. Knight falls asleep on the couch during her Criminal Minds binge. The fireflies are better company than all of them anyhow.