Buck

Tommy pulled up to Buck's apartment building a little after 10:00 AM. They stopped on the way for a quick breakfast, as it turned out that Buck was a little too tired to cook. Buck hopped out and waited by the driver's side door for Tommy to exit. He clambered down a bit more slowly than Buck, his face weary. Buck looked at his boyfriend with concern. "Everything alright?"

Tommy managed a tight smile and said, "Long shift. I was in the air almost more than I was on the ground. In fact we were just getting back from a rescue when the shift ended. So I'll be looking forward to getting some sleep." He followed Buck into the lobby of the building and into the elevator. Buck punched the button for his floor and wrapped Tommy in his arms for a quick hug.

"Well, why don't we take a shower and then go up and take a nap in my bed?" He felt Tommy's body stiffen against his own. And not in a good way.

The age old problem. Tommy seemed to enjoy spending time with Buck. He liked coming over for a nice, hot meal; he loved the flirty banter leading up to some kissing, and the activity when they made their way upstairs to Buck's bed seemed to keep Tommy happy; but the act of sleeping in Buck's bed, whether it was for a nap or overnight, always set him on edge. After the first couple of weeks, Tommy had to sit Buck down and explain it to him.

"I love the kissing, the cuddling, the sex. Especially the sex. But I've never been one to be comfortable sleeping in someone else's bed. So, unless we are at my place, I'd really rather just go home at the end of the night."

That conversation had hurt. But Buck did understand. If he was completely honest (not that he would ever bring this up to Tommy, of course), he didn't enjoy sleeping in Tommy's bed either. Buck preferred a softer mattress that conformed to his body; Tommy, on the other hand, liked his mattress so firm you could practically walk on it without it bouncing. He liked to think that was the only major issue that their relationship had at this point. Though there were a couple minor things that he wouldn't mind changing.

Still, he sighed reluctantly as the elevator doors opened and they exited, saying, "Do you need to leave now?"

Tommy smiled at his boyfriend, leaned forward, and placed a soft, chaste kiss on Buck's lips. "I think," he said, yawning, "I'd better go now, before I fall asleep behind the wheel. But I am definitely still on for tonight." He frowned as Buck's face fell. "Unless…did your plans tonight change?" They reached the door to Buck's loft, and he stuck the key in the door.

Buck tried to recapture his enthusiasm. "Of course not. I am still preparing a fantastic meal for us tonight. Followed by a movie and other…entertainment possibilities." He thought his rallying attempt worked. Tommy's tight smile returned, and he brushed a finger along Buck's cheek.

"Good. I'll see you tonight, then." He waited for Buck to safely enter his apartment, then turned back to the elevator.

"Text me when you're home, safe." Buck called after him.

Tommy looked back over his shoulder and said, "You got it, kid." And walked back down the corridor to the elevator. Buck waited until the elevator doors slid shut before closing his own door, disappointment overtaking his early morning cheer. With his morning plans dashed, Buck took a quick shower and tried to figure out what to do with the remainder of his morning.

While eating some yogurt, he scrolled through his carefully curated list of important things he must do on his free time. He didn't know if it was heartwarming or sad that the majority of the important things on his list included things to be done with the Diaz boys. It was heartwarming how they had both accepted him into their little family unit so readily. But the fact that Christopher was in Texas, refusing contact with either him or Eddie, was breaking his heart.

He scrolled until he found a note he had written down shortly after his make-up coffee date with Tommy before Maddie and Chimney's wedding. Explore what being bisexual means to me. It was an odd note. But in truth, he hadn't explored his own bisexuality at all yet. Sure, he'd kissed Tommy (a lot) and experienced the joys of gay sex (also a lot), but he hadn't spent time figuring out what part his newfound feelings would play in his life going forward. He'd never been to a gay bar — well, not since coming out. A few years ago Hen and Karen had dragged him and Eddie out to a couple of bars on the rare night when none of them had the kids at home. It was fun, but at the time it didn't mean quite as much, since his own connection to the community didn't exist yet.

He switched over to his web browser and searched LGBTQ businesses near me. A surprising number of results came up. The closest to him was a small bookstore, called The End of the Rainbow. He thought the name sounded cute, so he grabbed his keys and headed out.

Upon arrival at The End of the Rainbow bookshop, he marveled at how cute the little shop was. Pride flags hung in the windows, and another hung on a flagpole outside the entrance. In the main window, there was a display of books and gifts, with a sign that read Prepare for Pride with Great Gift Ideas. There was a handmade sign reading Open For Business in rainbow lettering. He pushed through the door and found himself in a bookstore that didn't look all that different from many of the smaller, independent bookshops he'd been in over the years. He looked around the main floor and gave a gasp of surprise when a lithe tabby cat jumped from a nearby bookshelf, landing in the display window.

"Don't mind him. That's just Catticus, our resident book critic," came a voice from behind the counter. Buck moved forward, smiling.

"Great. Does Catticus have any recommendations for a bisexual man just coming out of the closet and trying to figure himself out?"

The man behind the counter smiled and walked around to the front of the counter to meet Buck. "I'm sure he can give you a few great recommendations." The man was tall and thin, with shoulder length blond hair and green eyes. He smiled as he approached Buck and held out a hand. "Hi, I'm Trent."

"I'm Buck. Nice to meet you, Trent." He shook Trent's hand and turned his head back toward the window where the Tabby had found a sunny spot to nap in. "Nice to meet you, too, Catticus." Trent smiled at that and led Buck further into the store.

"We have quite a selection of books. Are you looking for fiction? Nonfiction? Do you like new releases, or classics?"

Buck thought about it as he passed shelves of books and racks of gifts and knick knacks. "I love nonfiction. I'm a bit of a history buff, so if you have any biographies or things of that nature, I'm interested." He paused in front of a shelf with a sign that read Exploring our place in literature - LGBTQIA+ writings throughout the centuries. Displayed under the sign were several books, though one in particular caught his eye. Maurice by E.M. Forster. He picked up a copy and examined the cover. There was an illustration of two men in silhouette, and Buck wondered which one of them was Maurice.

Trent noticed Buck's interest and gushed. "Oh, that book is fantastic. One of the first modern gay love stories. Very rare for the time it was written. And — spoiler alert — it shockingly has a happy ending. But don't worry, I won't give it away."

Buck smiled at the bookseller. "Well…I don't know. What is Catticus' opinion of the book?"

Trent looked over at the napping cat, and whispered conspiratorially, "Well, he thinks it's a tad sappy and bit on the nose. But He doesn't really go for romance, so take that with a grain of salt."

Buck laughed. "Just for that, I'll get it. Lead on, Trent."

By the time he reached the register, Buck had selected four more books, two DVDs, and a package of pride flag magnets. He thought those could be fun - once he learned what each flag represented. After he'd dropped his haul off into his jeep, he checked his cell for any messages. There was one message from Eddie.

E: Just got out of appointment. Thought I 'd let you know.

Buck smiled and sent a quick response.

B: How 'd it go?

E: It wasn 't as bad as some of them have been. I might be in the process of a breakthrough.

B: Can I call u?

E: sure :)

Buck hit Eddie's number and waited for him to answer. Once he did, Buck said, "So, what is this breakthrough? I am dying to know, man."

Eddie didn't respond right away, almost as if he was embarrassed. Finally he said, "Well, it isn't anything major. I'm probably overstating it."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Listen, if you, Mister Skeptical have found something in therapy to help you, enough to call it a breakthrough, it must be pretty damned important. So, spill it." Eddie sighed, but Buck could tell he was smiling and rolling his eyes at his persistence.

"OK, so I was telling Frank about the incident with Kim, and how her talking to me made me wonder if maybe I had been putting more importance on my relationship with Shannon than was really there. I mean, I loved her, obviously. She gave me the most amazing son anyone could ever hope for." That was something Buck agreed with, no hesitation.

"I then wondered if she was the great love of my life. And then Frank said that he didn't think she was. That while I talked about her with love, he didn't get 'great love' from what I've said. He said my great love is probably still out there waiting for me." He took a shaky breath, then said, "I never really considered that possibility. Every time I've looked at a relationship since Shannon, it was always about finding someone who would be a good stepmother for Christopher. I don't know if I ever thought about finding a partner for myself. I mean, I'm not ready for that yet, I'm too much of a mess, but the fact that I might fall in love again never even occurred to me."

"Eddie," Buck said, feeling warm inside at the sound of hope in his best friend's voice, "You deserve to find love. And I agree, maybe not yet, but I am convinced the great love of your life is out there. In fact she is probably searching for you as we speak. And once you're ready, I know you'll find her." Suddenly that wave of happiness and warmth he was feeling gave way to something colder, a little sad. He wasn't sure what it was, but he started to feel a little off.

"Yeah. Maybe someday soon I'll find them. And when I do, I'll be with them for me. Not for Christopher. If we're really meant to be, Christopher will love them too." Eddie stopped abruptly, and Buck wondered if they had dropped the call. After a moment, Eddie continued.

"Anyway, that's all off in the future. I still have a lot of work to do before I'm even worthy of the chance at happiness. I need to be a better, more fully realized version of myself first."

At that, Buck laughed. "Eddie, you know that isn't how life works. It doesn't wait for you to figure yourself out. If your great love is out there, they will likely fall into your life well before you're prepared and fully realized."

Eddie hummed in reluctant agreement. "Like with you and Tommy?" He asked, and Buck nearly dropped his phone.

"Me and Tommy?" Was Tommy the great love of his life. Hell, he wasn't sure. The relationship was still so new. They were still figuring each other out. They didn't even know things like the other person's favorite color, Or their thoughts on marriage and family. But Buck wasn't sure he was ready to discuss that with anyone, especially with Eddie. So, he opted for "Well, something like that."

Suddenly, Eddie said, "Hey, I'm about to pull in to pick up a few groceries. I was thinking of making a cake to bring to the Wilsons' for movie night. Do you know if they have a preference?" Buck thought for a moment about their taste in dessert.

"It sounds kind of basic, but I know they both love a red velvet. I made some red velvet cookies the last time I was over, and they gushed about how great they were." Eddie said "check" as he scribbled a note on some scrap piece of paper.

"OK. I'm going to run in and get back home. Thank's for calling me Buck. It feels good to have someone in my life to share things with, good or bad." He made a small hiccuping sound, as if choking back tears, before saying, "Thankfully, this felt like something good. Or at the very least, hopeful."

Buck took a breath and said, "Definitely hopeful. I'll talk to you later, Eddie."

"Bye, Buck." And Eddie clicked off.

Buck started his jeep and headed toward home, trying to decide on what to make for dinner for his man. He tried not to think too much about whether Tommy Kinard could really be the great love of his life. He wasn't sure if he'd like the answer.

Eddie

Eddie returned home from the grocery store around noon. He was tired, but still wanted to get in a little exercise before taking a nap. Rather than trekking to the gym, Eddie opted to go for a short run. It had been ages since he actually ran for sport rather than necessity, but he thought maybe the sun and fresh-ish air would do him some good. He opted for three times around the block, as it was a bit hotter today than it had been. Overall, he did feel better once he dragged himself back into his house.

After a quick shower, he set his alarm for 4 pm and took a nap. That would give him enough time to make his cake and get to the Wilson residence in time for dinner. Before nodding off, he scheduled himself an Uber. He was fairly certain that with wine involved, he wasn't going to want to drive back home at the end of the evening.

His nap is invigorating. He had some sort of dream during that brief period, but all he can remember is the warm feeling of being held, comforted. The illusive smell of some earthy fragrance that he couldn't place, but smelled so wonderful within his dream. He padded out into the kitchen, and set up his ingredients for the Red Velvet cake he would be bringing to Hen and Karen's house for movie night. Mixing the ingredients, he wondered how Christopher was — except he wasn't supposed to be doing that. He was supposed to be focusing on who he was without his son. Because, even after Christopher returned home, some day, he'd move out, live on his own, and Eddie would still need to know who he was without his son by his side at all times. God, this was going to be difficult.

He focused on the night ahead. Movies. He liked movies. He and Christopher had introduced Buck to a number of great movies over the years. So it would be fun to see what Hen and Karen had in store for him. He wasn't one to watch romcoms very often. Buck enjoyed them. He had introduced Eddie to a few. Notting Hill, Pretty Woman, Four Weddings and a Funeral, just to name a few. He enjoyed them, but it just wasn't a genre he'd choose to watch on his own. But maybe the Wilsons could show him a thing or to about romance.

The Uber dropped him off at the Wilson residence at precisely 8:00 PM. He rang the doorbell, and repositioned the cake carrier in his hands. The door opened, and Karen stood at the door with a bright smile on her face. "Eddie, You're here!" She gave him an awkward hug, as he still held the cake carrier, and ushered him inside. Once she closed the door, she gestured to the carrier. "And what do you have there?"

Eddie smiled. "A little birdie told be that this household enjoys red velvet." Karen giggled and took the cake carrier from his hands.

"And would that birdie be a sexy ass firefighter with dark hair and strikingly blue eyes.

Eddie's cheeks flushed and a goofy smile spread across his face. "You might have guessed it in one." Karen gave him a knowing look, still smiling, and led him through, to the kitchen, where Hen was busily finishing preparations.

She turned when she heard her wife and coworker enter. She stepped around her prep area, and pulled Eddie into a hug. "I hope you are hungry…and that you like Lasagna."

Eddie laughed and said, "I love it. It's been a while since I've had any though. Not since Buck's last Lasagna kick." Karen raised her eyebrows at Hen. Eddie pretended not to notice.

"Well, that is good for you, then, because Buck gave me this recipe." Hen said, as she checked on the lasagna, bubbling away in the oven. "It is just about ready. Karen, why don't you take our guest into the dining room, and get him started on a glass of wine?" Karen nodded and took Eddie's hand, leading him away from the Kitchen.

"Do you want red or white?" She said as they entered the dining room.

"Oh, um…what goes good with lasagna?" he asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

Karen laughed, waving her hand. "We don't believe in wine pairings in this house. We drink what tastes good. So what'll you have?"

"White, then?" Eddie said, hazarding a guess. It must have been correct, because Karen smiled and poured them each a glass.

"This," She said, clinking their glasses together, "Is the good stuff. We got five bottles of it when we went up to Napa last year. We've been waiting for an occasion to open a bottle." The took a sip. While not a huge wine drinker, Eddie enjoyed the wine. Thankfully not too dry.

Karen looked toward the kitchen, and satisfied that her wife was still occupied, Whispered to Eddie, "Walk with me." They went into the living room, Where the lights were set for perfect movie viewing conditions. She slid her arm into his and whispered, "Look, I'm not supposed to meddle, or be nosy…" She leaned back to peek through to the kitchen. "But I'm going to ignore my wife's pleas, and stick my nose where it doesn't belong." Eddie braced himself.

"Are you OK? Really? You know anything you say to me stays between us. I know that sometimes it is difficult to talk with people you're close with. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone with less of a connection to the rest of your life."

"I'm…surviving." He settles on this, because he really doesn't want to keep reliving the events of the last couple of weeks. He's felt enough shame and self-hatred to last a lifetime. Karen seems to understand this, and redirects the conversation.

"Well, you have us. Your 118 family." She pauses, sips from her glass, and continues. "Granted, I'm 118 family through marriage, but my point remains. We are all here for you. We love you, and want only good things for you. Especially Buck. He was telling me just the other day —"

Somehow Hen had appeared in the doorway and cleared her throat. "Eddie, Karen, my love, dinner is ready." She shot her wife a glance, and Karen scoffed, rolling her eyes.

As they passed, Eddie heard Karen whisper, "Your mom voice doesn't scare me, baby. Besides, I'm not technically 118, so I can skirt the line a little more than any of you. And I intend to." Hen sighed, but Eddie could tell it was a loving, 'what am I going to do with you?' sigh. It was a sigh he wished he could hear for himself one day.

The lasagna was fantastic, and the trio polish off the bottle of white as they eat. Hen keeps the conversation flowing on mostly neutral to pleasant topics. Karen gets in a few comments to make her wife raise an eyebrow, but none of it is upsetting or embarrassing to Eddie. In fact, most of Karen's comments are about Buck. She spends dinner gushing about Buck's cooking prowess, his generosity, how good he is with both Denny and Mara. Eddie agreed with everything Karen said. In fact, he let a few of his own compliments in as the evening wore on.

"Buck's been a lifesaver for me." Karen smiled at her wife, and poured Eddie another glass of wine. "He has been my rock for the last couple of weeks. Especially in the first few days after Chris left. I don't know what I would have done without him."

Karen took a bite of her lasagna and said, "Buck is just the biggest sweetheart." Hen tilted her head to the side, and rolled her eyes. Her wife might not be prying, exactly, but she sure as hell was lubricating Eddies lips with good food and wine. Although, as she was the one that made the lasagna, that part might have been her fault.

They made their way to the living room and watched Sleepless in Seattle. As the opening credits began, Eddie turned to Hen. "I've never actually seen this movie." Hen looked at him like he had three heads.

"Never?" Her mouth dropped open. "Eddie, you sweet, innocent child. How have you never seen Sleepless in Seattle?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've never really watched very many romcoms. It wasn't until I started hanging out with Buck that I even started watching them." Karen gasped loudly at that.

"Oh, Eddie," Karen said, excitement filling her voice, "We are about to open up a whole new world for you. Meet Meg Ryan! Queen of the 80s and 90s romantic comedy!"

Hen rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on now, Karen. I love Meg Ryan as much as the next lesbian, but I don't know if she can be classed as the queen, when you have Julia Roberts."

Karen scoffed. "Well, sure, if you're going for the obvious choice. But come on — this movie, When Harry Met Sally? Be serious, my love."

"Ha," Eddie said, a short nervous laugh. "I've never seen When Harry Met Sally either."

Karen's eyes widened. "Who even are you?" She leaned forward, elbows resting on her thighs, chin rested on her clasped hands. "You poor baby. We are going to rectify this. Next movie night, you'll come back and you'll get your education on all things Meg Ryan."

"That's my wife," said Hen, sipping from her wine glass. "Doing her part to educate the youth of our fine nation." She winked at Eddie. "I'm so proud." He couldn't help but smile back at her, a warm feeling building as he watched the film with his friends.

As Sam and Annie (Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan's characters meet atop the Empire State Building at the film's climax, and the credits roll, Eddie found himself a little tipsy, but equally satisfied and a bit melancholy. He glances over at Hen and Karen, who are sitting together, Hen's arm around Karen, Karen dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "Oh, this movie gets me every time." She said. Hen pulled her wife in close, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"You'll have to excuse her, Eddie," Hen said, "Karen's always had a thing for Meg Ryan." Karen gasped and Hen grinned at her. "It's OK. She's no Halle Berry, but I can see the appeal.

"I did not have a crush on Meg Ryan. It's just…The woman knows how to play a romantic lead. Even against the most generic Hollywood leading men, she just shines." She exchanges a look with Hen, which Eddie can't decipher. She asks, "What about you, Eddie? Who was your Hollywood crush growing up?"

Eddie was at a loss. Sure, when he was a teenager all the guys would talk about which singer or actress they found 'hot'. Back then he was more interested in spending time with Shannon, in maybe showing her he could be a cool boyfriend. So, he rarely partook in those conversations. He huffed out a nervous laugh, thinking back to what the other guys were saying back then.

"Jennifer Lopez," he blurted out, wondering if he took too long to answer. Hen nodded in agreement, so he supposed his answer was acceptable.

"Hm. Kind of basic," Karen said, a look of pure judgment on her face. "I would have thought you'd dig deeper in those memories for a celebrity that is more unexpected."

Eddie's eyebrows rose. "Really? Who would be more unexpected, in your eyes?"

She regarded him for a moment, tapping her finger to her chin. Her gaze was unsettling, almost like she could see right through him. "For you…Jennifer Garner."

Eddie almost felt offended. "Seriously, Jennifer Garner? What's with pairing me with Ben Affleck's ex - and current wives?"

Karen shrugged, "What can I say? You have an aura about you." Eddie snorted at that.

Hen shook her head. "Honestly, you two have terrible taste in women." She stood up and stretched. "I'm going to pour myself another glass. Can I interest either of you in another?" Karen held her glass out in answer. Eddie smiled, but shook his head.

As Hen passed through to get the next bottle, Karen said, just loudly enough for Hen to hear. "You know that when she was in College, Her big crush was on Brad Pitt." Karen leaned back on the sofa, squealing and kicking her feet.

Hen ran back into the room and hissed, "You did not just tell Eddie that! How could you?" Karen was laughing so hard, she couldn't respond. "Do our marriage vows mean nothing to you?"

Still cackling, Karen responded, "Oh, come on! It's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I had a crush on Johnny Depp until I kissed my first girl. Most of us have been there at one point."

Eddie shook his head in disbelief. "Brad Pitt? Johnny Depp? And you think my crush was basic? I'm so disappointed in the both of you." That made Hen laugh. Karen gave her wife a sly glance, something up her sleeve.

She cleared her throat and said, "Is that so? Well, Eddie, If our crushes are so basic, Who do you think would be an acceptable male Hollywood Crush?"

Without thinking, Eddie responded, "Jensen Ackles, Daniel Craig, Owen Wilson, Idris Elba — Um, I guess, to name a few." Damn, how did he come up with that list so quickly?

Hen had that look. He'd seen it so often over the years, he knew it in an instant. It was the look she gave to both him and Buck every time they said something profoundly stupid, or profoundly sad. Like the time he had informed the 118 that he hated dating because he always felt like he was putting on a performance. That was the first time he put a meaning to that look.

"Anyway…" he said, trying to think of a subject change, "Gerrard's a real piece of shit."

Eddie helped the ladies clean up and by the time everything was in tip top shape, it was almost midnight. As the Wilsons walked Eddie to the door, Karen said, "Are you sure you're good to drive home? I know you didn't have as much wine as us, but we could get you set up in the guest bedroom for the night."

Eddie smiled at the offer. "Thank you, but I took an Uber. I thought ahead." She smiled at him. It was almost motherly. "Besides, I think after the hot movie night we had, you two ladies might want to have the place to yourselves for the night." He winked at them, and the two ladies giggled, far more tipsy than either one of them realized.

"Well, if you're sure…" Hen said, wrapping an arm around Karen and nuzzling her cheek. He could see Karen blushing, and yeah, they were definitely getting lucky tonight.

"I'm positive," Eddi said. His Uber pulled into the driveway and Eddie stepped forward, giving each lady a hug. Karen Planted a big kiss on his cheek.

"Alright," She said, "But you're coming back for our next movie night. When Harry Met Sally. Do not forget."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He gave them a final wave, then walked to the car, pausing to smile at them and wave one more time.

They watched the car pull out, and drive Eddie home. Before they closed the door, Karen said, "Jensen Ackles? Idris Elba? How did that boy pull out so many good looking men without even thinking about it?"

Hen shook her head. "Now do you believe me? I deal with this every day at work." Karen sighed.

"You are a stronger woman than I, baby." She said, closing the door behind them.

Buck

Buck was removing the casserole from the oven when The knock sounded on his door. He quickly wiped his hands on the dishtowel at his side and ran to answer the door. As he opened the door, His boyfriend stood, hands in the pockets of expensive looking jeans, his Dark gray Henley stretched taut across his chest topped with a green flannel shirt. He smiled at Tommy and said, "Hey."

Tommy returned the smile and replied, "Hey Evan. How was your day?" Buck ushered him inside, and pulled him in for a kiss. Tommy's lips parted, allowing Buck's tongue to slide in. He let the kiss linger for a moment, before pulling away. He seemed not to notice the look of disappointment that passed over Buck's face.

"Um, My day was great. I did a little shopping today. I found this cool little LGBTQ bookstore in town. I picked up a few cool things. With pride coming up I thought I kind of decorate a bit, you know, get in the spirit."

Tommy scoffed. "Pride." He walked to the kitchen island and leaned against it. "Just a way for corporate billionaires to line their pockets for one month with the money of those they couldn't care less about the other 11 months of the year." He shook his head, apparently disappointed at Buck's excitement.

OK, Buck thought, I won't share any of that with Tommy. Best to find a more neutral topic of conversation. He sauntered to the refrigerator and said, "What would you like to drink?"

Tommy thinks for a minute before responding, "Do you have any more of that Ginger Ale?"

Buck, ever the thoughtful boyfriend nodded. "Of course. I made sure to pick up more when you said you liked it." He poured his boyfriend a glass over ice and handed it to him. Tommy smiled, and his face softened. It reminded Buck of the moments after they landed during the rescue of Bobby and Athena. He, Tommy, and Eddie watching as the Paramedics took the survivors for examination. When Buck reached out and briefly grasped arms with Tommy, he'd smiled like that. That had been the start of the warm feeling that at the time Buck just assumed was a desire to make a new friend of the cool pilot. A few months later, and he and that cool pilot had become far more than just friends. He smiled at the thought.

"What are you thinking about right now?" Tommy's voice is soft. Maybe even a little playful. This was more like it. A little flirting, some dinner, and a long evening alone together.

"You," Buck responded, winking at Tommy. Was that a blush from Mr. Hard-ass Firefighter pilot?

Tommy leaned across the island and pulled Buck forward by his apron, Kissing him deeply. OK, this was good. Sometimes it took Tommy a little bit to warm up. No matter how hard he tried, there were just some parts of Tommy that were difficult to figure out. He wasn't sure if it was his military background, the repression of his sexuality for all those years, or some other secret that kept him so detached, but Buck wanted nothing more than for Tommy to let him in for once.

"Why don't you go ahead and wash up? Dinner's ready now." Tommy gave him a little salute and went into the bathroom.

Over dinner, they kept the conversation light. Tommy told him about the day he had after waking up: Meeting up with a couple of old work friends and playing basketball (Buck was glad to not receive an invitation. He had learned his lesson — sometimes it is OK to have different interests). Buck skipped over the rest of the book shop story, instead opting to tell him about his trip to the grocery store, where he accidentally bumped a display of pasta sauce, accidentally breaking four jars. Luckily the manager was a good sport about it. Tommy had chuckled at that.

Conversation dried up around the time that Buck pulled out dessert. Tommy's favorite, Strawberry cheesecake. One of the few things that Buck actually knew about his boyfriend was his favorite dessert. Oh, and he liked the ginger ale that Buck had picked up by mistake a few weeks prior. However, Tommy's favorite color? His middle name? A total mystery. He wouldn't have even known how old Tommy was, if it wasn't for him having to fish for Tommy's wallet for a condom. 48. Older than he had thought, but it makes sense as he worked with Chimney when he first joined the 118 nearly 20 years ago. It made Tommy's daddy thing make a little more sense in context. Perhaps he was self conscious about the age gap. But as they ate the cheesecake, Tommy's hand dipped below the table and slid up Buck's thigh, all while Tommy whispered, "Daddy's loving this night." So, maybe not self conscious.

Buck gave his best flirty smile and said, "Are you trying to tell me something?" Tommy nodded, leaning forward and kissing him deeply.

"Mhmm." Tommy breathed. "I'm trying to say the meal was great. The dessert was fantastic. And I want to take you upstairs and Pay you back for all of your hard work." He nuzzled Buck's cheek, and any tension he was feeling drained away in an instant.

"Well, then, who am I to deny an old man his request?" He leaned back and looked Tommy in the eyes. There was lust there. Heat. Hunger. No tenderness, though. That determined how the sex was going to go. Tenderness meant leisurely and affectionate; lots of kissing and holding, which Buck found he enjoyed when with a man. If there was no tenderness, then it was quick and dirty. Sometimes painful. Not cruel, per se, just focused more on Tommy's release, rather than anything mutual. Internally, Buck wanted to sigh, but outwardly he gave a devilish grin and growled, "Let's go upstairs, then. After, you can do the dishes as a proper thank you.

Tommy's waggled his eyebrows. "Anything for you kid. Let's get this party started.

Twenty minutes later, passions were quenched, dishes were washed and dried, and Tommy was shrugging into his Flannel, and pressing a kiss to Buck's forehead. "So, it looks like I'm on back to back 12 hour shifts through the weekend. I'll call you as soon as I can figure out when we can hook up again." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys.

"Sure, Tommy." Buck said, not sure how he felt about that. On one hand it would free up some time to see Maddie and Jee, as well as spend some quality time with Eddie. But he felt a little strange that he wasn't saddened by not seeing Tommy until sometime the following week. Although, they would talk and text until then. They always did. He leaned in and Hugged Tommy, who slowly wrapped his arms around him in return.

Before leaving, Tommy asked, "So, what are you going to be up to until we see each other again?"

"Well, I have lunch with Bobby and Athena," Buck said, "Oh, and I invited Eddie over, too." Tommy's eyes narrowed. "What?" Buck said, "He's been having a hard time, you know that. Besides, Athena has been asking about him. I figured that she can check in on him over a meal, without him feeling like he's being gawked at."

Tommy sighed. "I know you mean well, Evan. It's just…Don't you think that maybe all of this is just going to make Eddie too dependent on you?" Buck looked down at his feet. Of course that was a risk, but Eddie had done the same for him, multiple times. God, after his leg surgery alone Eddie had been there more than even his own family.

Instead, Buck said, "He needs someone to watch out for him. He's getting self destructive."

Tommy's head jerked up, concern in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Buck took a breath. "Gerrard has been riding all of us pretty hard since he took charge. He's been awful to Hen, Chim, Ravi, and Eddie. Eddie, in particular."

"That's odd." Tommy said. "Gerrard is a hard-ass, but he's usually pretty fair, as long as you're pulling your weight." Buck stared at Tommy, aghast.

"Seriously, Tommy? He calls Ravi 'Hey You', 'You There', and 'The Other One'; He calls Eddie every Spanish name under the sun, except his actual name; And…" He paused, not sure how to say it. Tommy's expectant gaze making him nervous.

"What is it, Evan?" He asked.

"I think he's making homophobic comments about us now." Tommy tensed. The muscles in his jaw twitched.

"About you and me?" He asked, tightly.

"No, no." Buck shook his head. "No, about me and Eddie."

Tommy snorted. "You and Eddie?" He chuckled. "I don't think you have to worry about that, Evan. There is no way that Gerrard is going to think that Eddie is gay."

Buck's eyes bulged. "He won't think that Eddie is gay, but will think that I am?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Evan, Eddie gives off macho vibes. It practically oozes out of his pores. You are…" Her searched for the right word, not realizing just how bad things could be if he chose incorrectly. "Soft. Free with your emotions. For someone of Gerrard's generation, that is seen as a weakness." He patted Buck's tricep. "Look, just keep your head down, don't draw attention to yourself, and everything will be fine. Trust me, I did it for years under his command." He smiled encouragingly, and turned to the door.

"I'll call you as soon as I have my schedule figured out." He called over his shoulder as he opened the door.

"Sure." Buck said, without much enthusiasm. Once he was alone, all he could think was, How can I keep my head down and not draw attention to myself when Eddie is doing that to himself on a daily basis. On purpose! No, he was going to have to do something drastic to make sure he and the rest of the 118 made it through the reign of Gerrard.

Buck and Eddie I: A Text Chain

B: U up?

E: Wrong number. You want Tommy for the booty call.

B: Ha ha ha. So funny.

E: Yeah I'm up. Can't sleep. U?

B: Just crawled into bed. Date night is over.

E: Already? U bagged yourself a real minute man, didn't ya?

B: No way, man. He's at least a 4-minute man.

E: Not bad for a senior citizen.

B: He's not THAT old.

E: Is so.

B: How would u know?

E: T told me. He's 48. Said he wanted to make sure it wouldn't be weird. What does that even mean?

B: No idea. Anyway. He went home after. Doesn't like sleeping over very much.

E: Weird.

B: …

E: Did you ever have any male celebrity crushes. You, know, before you came out.

B: A few, I guess. But they were man-crushes.

E: I thought they were only man-crushes if you were straight.

B: But I didn't know that I was bi at the time. So it counts.

E: I don't think so. Gonna have to run that one by Hen. She's the expert.

B: We aren't friends anymore.

E: R2. Now spill. Male crushes.

B: Chris Hemsworth…Jensen Ackles…I guess I always found Idris Elba kind of hot. Why are you asking?

E: …

E: …

E: 2 line up?

B: What's that mean?

E: Damn text to speech. Fuck!

B: ?

E: Mind ya business.

B: Fine. I'll get back to reading.

E: Whatcha reading?

B: Maurice

E: ?

E: Is it about a space cowboy?

B: ?

E: A gangster of love?

B: WTF?

E: Your pop culture knowledge is lacking. I blame myself.

B: Whatever. It's about a guy in the early 20th century. He's in college and falls in love with a guy at his school. It's kind of sweet, actually.

E: sounds nice. Do they live happily ever after?

B: Given the time period, I had my doubts. But the guy who sold me the book said it had a happy ending. So who knows?

E: Cool. Maybe I'll borrow it when you're done.

B: But it's a gay book, Eds.

E: What? Am I not allowed to read gay books?

B: That's not what I meant.

E: I'm an ally EVAN. Chimney and I watched Brokeback Mountain a few years ago. I'm all for 2 people falling in love. No matter what's in their pants.

B: OK OK. You can read it when I finish.

E: Screw that. I'm gonna check and see if there's a film version. I don't want to read.

B: You're impossible. You know that?

E: Yup. It's part of my charm.

B:

E: U know U love me.

B: Go to bed Eddie.

E: Don't wanna.

B: Don't forget. Lunch at my place with Athena and Bobby next day off.

E: Yeah, yeah. 12 hours of work, then game night at the Hans. Then the next day lunch at your place. Damn I'm popular!

B: Night Eddie

E: GN Buckaroo