Chapter 13
Ichigo arrived at Soul Society with an escort of two officers. He was immediately taken to the first division, assured that any questions would be addressed by Kyoraku himself. Convinced, Ichigo maintained a close distance, though not paying much attention to trip itself. He was mildly upset, upon being told by Urahara that his training needed to be reduced on earth, talking about reiatsu disturbance or what-have-you. Despite Ichigo's protests, and weak attempts at wooing Urahara into taking him up as an apprentice, the man fanned him away.
"Kurosaki!" Kyoraku exclaimed from behind his desk. He stood, greeting the young man and motioning towards the lounge area of his office. A hot teapot sat ready with cups for both.
"This better be good Kyoraku." Ichigo said, taking a seat.
"Always a pleasure to see you." He chuckled. "I suppose Urahara was not very forthcoming. This is all good, I promise."
Ichigo looked at him in skepticism.
"To business, then. This is a formal invitation to train here. You'll be taken through the captain's gauntlet, so I can promise more control of your powers and free flowing reiatsu."
Ichigo's scowl deepened.
"You can't tell me that you're enjoying the cap down on earth, can you? We both know what you're capable of, why not refine it in a controlled environment?"
"There must be something in it for you," Ichigo said.
"Well, yes." Kyoraku said. "Though that's not a problem you'll have to face for a few decades yet."
Ichigo leaned back in the chair, regarding the man before him. "Do I get to think about it?"
"Of course, of course." He took a sip of the tea before him. "Kazui can also train with you, if you so desire. Really, you'll have quite the freedom, and the resources."
Ichigo nodded, sipping on his tea in thought.
Kyoraku sat back as they enjoyed their drinks.
Rukia found an uproar at the division that afternoon. She had retreated to the gardens for a private lunch, finding the solace of her office no longer served her, as Renji still had access to her, the silence between discussions about work suffocating.
"What's this?" Rukia asked, arms crossed, as she found her vice captain at the entrance with a few other officers.
"Some kind of important visitor."
"Visitor?" Rukia asked, incredulous, when the reiatsu hit her before the image did.
"Ichigo." Rukia said, with a breath in.
"Kurosaki-san?" Sentaro asked, interest piqued.
"Crap," Rukia muttered to herself.
"Captain?"
Rukia turned to leave, only to find the exit blocked by excited officers. Rukia shook her head, Ichigo's reputation certainly preceded him.
"Ah, Captain Kuchiki." Kyoraku said.
"Head Captain," Rukia said, bowing slightly. "A visitor, I see?"
"A visitor you know," Kyoraku said.
Ichigo and Rukia exchanged looks.
"I do hope you're enjoying your visit, Ichigo." Rukia said, heart pounding, face heating.
Ichigo chose not to respond, instead nodding in her general direction.
Kyoraku maintained his cordial smile. "Well, I'll leave you two to get reacquainted."
"Wait- what-" Rukia said.
"What?" Ichigo said, surprised. "I thought I was getting a tour of the facilities?"
"Ah, we can finish that when you finally decide." Kyoraku said, flapping his hand in dismissal. "Besides, a meeting popped up that I need to attend to. Fetch me the sixth division vice captain." He said loudly to his assistant.
Rukia let out a huff, and Sentaro was quick to quell the crowd. The wise vice captain quickly ushered everyone back to work.
"Let's leave the captain to deal with the guest. Come on now," Sentaro said, "if she finds out you were all fooling around, we'll all be in trouble." The whispers hushed into near silence as the crowd thinned and then slowly dissipated.
Leaving Ichigo and Rukia absolutely alone.
"So. Are you going to show me your office or?" Ichigo asked, eyeing the guards at the gate.
Rukia cleared her throat, "Right, of course. Right this way."
Ichigo followed closely behind as Rukia led him through what felt like a labyrinth of cubicles and offices. He hadn't been alone with her in months, and surprisingly, he felt okay. The pining usually comes later, anyway, he thought to himself. Besides, it was interesting to see where Rukia worked, and he thought the respect she received from her staff spoke to her leadership. Ichigo let out an amused smile at the thought of the Rukia he once knew doodling in his closet, so unlike the Captain Kuchiki everyone knew.
Rukia felt Ichigo's presence looming behind her. Was he always this tall? Never mind, she decided he hadn't grown since she last saw him. He had maybe grown more handsome, she shook her head at the thought. She was glad there was a lot to see on the way over, distracting her from the shortness of breath in her nervous chest. At the sight of her office, she turned and an officer opened the door for her. She motioned for him to be dismissed and he understood, shutting the door behind them as they entered.
"This is where it all happens, huh?" Ichigo said, as he looked around.
"Yeah," Rukia said. Standing at her desk.
Ichigo eyed the frame on her desk, wondering if it showed Renji and Ichika, or maybe just Ichika… not that it really mattered. The neatness of the sheets sitting on her desk, the books on her shelves, the small plants thriving in a few corners of the room. His eyes finally fell on her who… was standing awkwardly? He wasn't sure he was truly comprehending what he had laid eyes on.
"Everything okay?" Ichigo asked.
"Yeah, everything's fine." Rukia said. She cleared her throat. "Sorry, why don't you take a seat? You mentioned facilities… I can tell you what I know about what we have for training. I imagine you'll be with the eleventh division often, Zaraki is going to love sparring with you."
Ichigo sat back and looked at Rukia in amusement.
"What?" She asked.
"You're talking a lot."
"And you're barely speaking. Shut up." Rukia replied.
"I missed this banter." Ichigo smirked, upon realizing that Rukia was flustered.
Rukia's felt her face flush with heat. "That makes one of us." Rukia said, gathering her papers and rearranging them. What was she, one of his fan girls? Get it together Kuchiki, she thought to herself.
Ichigo noticed the lack of eye contact.
"Look, if you're busy, I can leave." Ichigo said, as he repositioned to stand. "Besides, Renji's probably caught on by now, and I don't think that your husband would approve of this interaction."
Rukia glared at him, "Was that necessary?"
Ichigo regarded her for a moment, amber eyes on violet. "It was."
"Even if Renji knew what was happening, I know he trusts me."
Ichigo's smirk disappeared into a scowl. "Does he?"
Rukia looked at Ichigo with a glare. "What's not to trust?"
Ichigo leaned back, scowl gentler, and seemingly amused by the situation again.
A silence descended upon them. Rukia unsure what to say next, heart still thrumming, hands now stilled.
He revelled in the discomfort for a moment. Rukia's guard uncharacteristically down, he made a mental note to maybe visit unsolicited more often once he decided on training with the gauntlet. He spent all these years pretending, being nervous around her. For some reason, though not overtly said, he sensed that she finally knew how he felt.
"Really, though, that evening couldn't have been easy to explain."
Rukia nodded. "Nothing to be said about that. We worked it out."
"Of course you did."
"We did."
Still a bad liar, Ichigo thought, as he watched her fingers fiddle with the sheets in front of her.
"Good." Ichigo said "Anyway, if there's nothing else to see here… I'll get going."
"No, not much else, I've actually got work to do so..." Rukia said.
"I'm going, I'm going." He stood, "send my regards."
Rukia stood as he did, crossing the room to open the door for him. She miscalculated a step and bumped into his form, nearly falling at his feet. He caught her with ease. "Careful," he muttered under his breath.
"Yeah," she replied, resting a hand on his arms as she righted herself.
"Wait." Ichigo said, hands on her waist, preventing her from leaving.
Rukia froze. She wasn't sure what was happening, she wasn't uncomfortable, no, there was nothing like that between them even when things were difficult. This was different, irritation had morphed into excitement.
"What?" Rukia's heart pounding in her throat, she looked up at Ichigo. He gazed down at her.
"I know you really don't want to talk about this." Ichigo said in a low voice, almost inaudible, causing Rukia to lean in closer, ear nearly to chest. "Last I saw you – no… last we were alone… that is… are you okay? Are we okay?"
She felt her cheeks heat up again, wondering if it was necessary to discuss in such a manner, or discuss the situation at all. "What was it I last said?"
"That I pissed you off."
"Right." Rukia dared not move, wondering when she had become so clumsy. She gathered her thoughts, and finally grew the courage to look him in the eye. "We're okay, Ichigo."
"Right." Ichigo said. He was suddenly aware of their proximity, the familiar smell of her perfume wafted into his nose, a smell that sent him into a nostalgic trip. He should probably let go, now.
"Are we done here?" Rukia asked, once she finally swallowed her heart back to its place.
Ichigo smirked, "Eventually."
"Or, I could just punch you right up the chin." Rukia retaliated.
"I don't doubt that." Ichigo said, chuckling as he retreated.
He watched as she passed and opened the door for him. "Don't come back."
"I'm not planning on it." He replied as he passed. "Unless, of course, I'm summoned." He added, turning his head slightly to look down at her.
Rukia rolled her eyes at him. Ignoring the way her chest tightened at his gaze. The asshole. He knew exactly what he was doing, didn't he?
Sentaro nodded a short bow as Ichigo passed, who nodded in return, and the vice captain continued to Rukia's side. Once Ichigo was a fair distance away, Sentaro joined Rukia as she watched him leave.
"I've heard his marriage is ending, shame." Sentaro said.
Rukia turned to him with a serious look, "Vice captain, I think your duties need to be attended to."
Sentaro nodded, "No need to tell me, captain, just updating you on the situation." He bowed and exited.
Rukia arrived home after a very unproductive afternoon. Ichigo's visit a surprise that shook her more than she cared to admit. She had to take a few breaths upon realizing her chest had stilled dazzled by thoughts of him, little smirks and shy smiles forcefully held back when the interaction crossed her mind. Ichigo may still love her, the brief touch was all it took for her to confirm her suspicions (or what everyone had already been heavily implying) to be true.
Had she really broken up a marriage?
That would be a lot of responsibility to burden herself with. Rukia was good at that, and she figured what she already saddled herself with was enough. To take accountability for the ruin of a marriage implied active involvement, as far as Rukia was concerned, it was mainly Inoue's decision and she had to be happy for her friend. If she had suspected her husband were in love with someone else, she'd leave too.
"Rukia."
She jumped slightly at said husband. "Yes?"
Renji's brow rose at the reaction, but quickly dismissed it. "You wouldn't believe what head captain called me into his office for today."
"Oh? What?"
"He wanted me to try a new sake with him. In the middle of the day!" Renji followed her to the kitchen.
Rukia took a moment to process the information, "Why would he do that in the middle of the day?"
Renji shrugged, "I guess it's better than having to show Ichigo around- heard a rumor he visited today. Did you run into him?"
Rukia nodded nonchalantly, she hoped.
"Oh?" Renji's interest piqued. "He went to your division?"
"Not for long. Just a quick greeting and then left."
"Is that so," Renji said, crossing his arms in thought.
There was a brief silence as Renji took a turn to think on the response.
"It doesn't matter, in the end. I'm going to my study."
"Did something happen?"
"No." Rukia said.
"Rukia," Renji began, "I've known you long enough to know when you're lying."
She began to turn away, irritated at the statement, afraid of what she was showing without control.
He grabbed her arm gently, tugging her to face him. "You're blushing."
Spring greeted Karakura subtly this year. The cherry blossoms slowly opening, with green dotting the dull landscape. Typically, the Kurosaki household would be spring cleaning, making room for growth, Inoue would say. This time, Inoue and Ichigo were sorting through their belongings to separate for good.
Awkward didn't describe the situation well enough for the pair. Ichigo wanted it to be finished quickly, finding the situation taxing. Where Inoue could pick up a blanket or sheet and remark on its memories and what it had seen, Ichigo could still only see failure on his part. He proposed once that Inoue take everything, noting that whatever he truly needed, he had brought to Ishida's. This upset Inoue, and Ichigo noticed, but wasn't sure what it was he would be apologizing for. The silence between them began to wear on Ichigo and he assigned himself a break.
Kazui sat in his room, hid away, really, his favorite books sprawled open and toys scattered about him. The few questions he had answered by his parents, and the few pointed ones at lawyers who delicately explained that he was 'free to go to whichever home he wanted, whenever he wanted.' What Kazui truly wanted, however, was 'out of the question'.
Ichigo stopped by his son's room and leaned against the doorframe. "Looks like fun in here."
Kazui looked up at him with an unidentifiable angry-sad-hurt pain in his chest. "I don't like that mom's leaving."
Ichigo sighed, he snuck a quick glance down the hall to see if Inoue was within earshot, only to be disappointed. "I don't like it either." He strolled into the room and sat, cross legged on the carpet with Kazui.
Kazui responded by handing Ichigo one of his toy cars. Ichigo studied the item carefully, as he deliberated on his next statements.
"I want her to be happy." Ichigo began, taking one from his dad's books: honesty simply said, vulnerability shared.
"She's not happy with us."
"She's not happy being my wife. Not anymore." Ichigo corrected, immediately. "She always loves us."
Kazui took the car that was now neglected at Ichigo's lap. "I'm sorry." He registered maybe that his father was still sad, no matter how happy leaving might make his mother.
"Thank you," Ichigo muttered, low. He hugged Kazui tightly. "Hey, let's talk about something else to look forward to. Have you put any thought into training with me in Soul Society?"
Kazui jumped back, grinning. "I did! I'd really like to, if that's okay."
Ichigo smiled, "Of course, you were invited by the Head Captain."
His son nodded, marvelling at the idea. "I've got so much to show you, Master Urahara showed me more swordplay, and we can practice the hand-to-hand combat that Yoruichi-san taught me." Kazui proceeded to practice the poses he learned.
Ichigo corrected his stances slightly, but mostly praised Kazui for his progress. He found himself dodging his son's limbs a few times, suddenly realizing that he had sprouted a few inches.
This had to be enough, he thought, he could live with just this.
Inoue called the boys to lunch, with talks of Kazui's otherworldly training.
"That's definitely exciting, Kazui. We can discuss more once you're finished packing." Inoue said gently, "I'm nearly done packing, and I've got a few more errands to run to prepare my new place."
Kazui paused, "That's okay, dad can help me." He said cheerily, unaware of the implications of Inoue's statement. He quickly finished the rest of his meal and dashed to his room, intent on getting ready for the evening.
After a brief silence, ensuring that Kazui was preoccupied in his room, Ichigo cleared his throat. "You're finished packing?"
"Yes," Inoue replied, focused on her meal, appearing unaffected. "Whatever's left is yours to toss."
"Inoue."
"What?"
"I'm not tossing anything."
"Oh?" Inoue looked up at Ichigo, hurt lighting her usually kind eyes.
Ichigo returned a look of surprise, and averted his gaze.
Inoue was unsure if it was the nonchalant behaviour of their son, or Ichigo's seemingly humdrum attitude. "There was just one more question that I had." She began. She knew he was never one for great displays of affection, and had to admit that she was the one who had to read into his behavior to discern his meaning most of the time. "Did you ever love me?"
Ichigo looked up at her, amber eyes meeting brown across the table. "I did." He was confused, wondering if the finality of the separation had reared its head on them both. They were civil until this point, and Ichigo knew that if anyone deserved to lash out, to beat him to death… it would be Orihime Inoue.
Inoue was disarmed for a moment, pausing to take the answer in. "Not in the way you loved her."
Ichigo wondered if his wife was always this pointed, or if he was always so easy to read. He wondered if he'd ever seen her this upset, and realized that he'd never seen this directed at him. She needed an answer, though, as Ichigo felt the hurt seething from her form. "Not in the way I loved her."
"Love her."
Ichigo swallowed, as thoughts of the subtle flirting from the day before reminded him of the ever-present emotion.
"She'd think you a coward, if you couldn't say it to me."
"Love her." He admitted quietly.
Inoue tilted her chin up, swallowing hard, herself. "Finally."
Ichigo's heart raced, a mix of embarrassment and anger at the altercation. He didn't want to be the bitter exes, love turned to pure hatred around their son, poisoning every interaction, and subtly marring every relationship their son may have in the future.
"Finally. The truth." Inoue echoed quietly, as she neatly collected the dishes.
Ichigo looked at her face, chest stinging now in guilt, as he saw tears running down her hot cheeks.
"I deserve the truth." She said firmly to him, eyes still streaming, locked on his.
The sounds of hurried steps sounded down the hall.
Inoue quickly turned towards the sink, wiping her eyes with tissues ready for such occasion, and dried into non-existence with years of practice. Kazui appeared gleefully whipping towards the table, grabbing his father's arm and tugging his father towards his room.
"Help me pick through my toys, dad!"
"Hang on, help your mother tidy the table." Ichigo said, picking up the discarded glasses himself.
Kazui nodded, collecting the used utensils and napkins.
"You know, Ichika said something funny the other day." Kazui began. "She said that dad must have loved mom very much to go through hell for her." He looked up at his mother upon dumping the utensils in the soapy sink.
"Is that so?" Inoue asked. Heart aching, chest squeezing every breath out of her.
"That's what she said," Kazui confirmed. "I'm not sure what she means by love, but I think that if you care about someone, helping them seems like a no brainer." He grabbed a rag by the sink.
"A no brainer, huh?" Asked Ichigo.
"I think so," Kazui said. "If someone took Ichika away and she needed help, I'd do it right away."
"That makes sense." Ichigo remarked.
"Would you do it again dad? Rescue mom?" Kazui asked.
"In a heartbeat." Ichigo replied.
Inoue shook her head with a soft smile. "Enough of that. Mom can rescue herself. Hurry up with your packing, the moving truck will be here soon."
Kazui and Ichigo retreated down the hall to complete their tasks. Inoue watched the two disappear. Once out of view, she braced herself against the kitchen counter. What the hell was that? She thought to herself, the feelings for Ichigo surging beyond the loathing into admiration once again. She didn't want to deal with this today, not with the memories of her moving in with him, the pregnancy, the wedding… Oh God.
Inoue finished the last of the dishes in time for tears to pour down her face. She cursed. Not now, not when she was supposed to be happy damn it. Happy that he finally told her the truth, happy that she was finally free of the spell he had on her, finally free to be loved the way she deserved but – the sting, the burning in her chest ached for him. Every inch of her soul yearned for his. What was there even to yearn for, she thought in frustration, barely anything – the bare minimum, the basic decency that Ichigo showed her that she could probably find in any decent person –was she so attached to an ideal so cancerous that she wouldn't ever stop feeling this way?
"Inoue," Ichigo found hunched over the kitchen sink, eyes red and cheeks wet.
"Everything alright in here?" Uryuu ascended the stairs.
"Ishida-kun," Inoue perked up, wiping away her tears as best she could, ignoring the pain. "I'm sorry, um, did you want anything to drink? Thanks for coming by to help."
"What did he do, Inoue?"
"Don't worry." Inoue said, taking a moment to clean her face. "I'm fine… the first of the boxes are in the bedroom." She left a guilty Ichigo in the kitchen, Uryuu trailing behind.
Ichigo watched as the pair departed.
Perhaps fortunately, as if the universe were conspiring in the break-up, it was the perfect day to move. Blue skies and a soft breeze made the process a little more pleasant. In near silence, save for a few questions and clarifications, the three loaded the rented truck systematically. Kazui left up in his room, every now and then he could be seen in the window looking down at the trio. If he was upset, it didn't appear so.
Ichigo placed the final box in the truck, and easily stepped down to join the pair. Uryuu promptly disappeared, assigning himself the task of driving, leaving the freshly divorced pair by themselves. There was no need to witness the final moments of the partnership his dearest friends once had. And he didn't want to be part of its death any more than he already had been.
Inoue and Ichigo shared a brief silence. Inoue glanced up at the window to ensure that Kazui wasn't waiting at an open window. She let out a sigh, an act more difficult than anticipated.
"Thank you."
Ichigo shrugged, hands in his pockets, "The least I could do."
Inoue shook her head, "not the least."
Ichigo nodded in response. They met eyes, and he felt like it was the last time she'd ever return his gaze in the same way.
Another silence.
"If you need me, you always know where to find me." He finally mustered.
Inoue felt frustration rise in her stomach, "Good bye, Ichigo."
Uryuu and Inoue set the first of a few boxes into the condo. They decided on placing the boxes where its contents were destined to rest. They set to work. Inoue admired the space, happy she found something that suited her growing son and her growing life. She contented herself with the thought: the possibilities awaiting her, the promise of freedom after the grief.
"I suppose this is Kazui's room?" Uryuu called out from the slightly smaller space across the hall.
"I think so." She replied, as she joined him in the space. "I hope he likes it."
"All that matters is that he's with you." Uryuu replied causally, as he stooped to place the box on the floor.
Inoue regarded him fondly, almost teary at the statement. "You're very thoughtful, Uryuu."
The surgeon felt heat rise to his face, he fixed his glasses out of habit. "It's just the truth."
Inoue smiled, sincerely, for the first time that day. "Thank you."
Uryuu stood, turning to face her, a smile gracing his own features. "It's my pleasure."
She allowed him to tower over her, and took a moment to enjoy his company, steady and warm in such a tumultuous time.
"It's nice to see you smile." Uryuu smirked.
Inoue's face flushed red, "Was I? None of this is necessarily happy- I-"
"You're allowed to be happy," He placed a hand on her arm, "isn't that what this is all about?"
Her heart lightened just a little. "Of course."
Uryuu withdrew once she had visibly calmed, turning away to finish the rest of the unloading. His own heart racing, unknown to Inoue. Her beauty stunning him in the sunlight pouring into the space, setting her amber eyes aglow. It took all his strength to stop touching her, to qualm the urge to pull her into his arms and never let go.
If Uryuu was interested in her, Inoue didn't have the capacity to acknowledge it, at this point. She was wise enough to know that he was being careful, and she appreciated that. She attempted to envision a space completely hers, devoid of love for future ex-husband. Words she never thought would visit her mind, let alone escape her lips. Life with Ichigo was a dream. Was.