The beginning of his problems was rather lost in the distance, like an old photograph with blurred edges. He was about five years old and still in kindergarten when he realized he was attracted to boys and not girls as his friends were. He didn't pay much attention to it until the end of the fifth grade, indeed, he was convinced that it was the same thing for everyone that boys preferred to play with each other. Being an only child even without any cousins and raised in the midst of only adults with all relatives much older than him, he had had few opportunities to deal with people of his own age, inevitably ending up answering all his questions or doubts by himself . Obviously these assumptions were very often totally wrong.

The first real answers, which however cost him dearly, he began to have by starting to attend middle school. From the first weeks after entering sixth grade, he realized that he was attracted to one of his classmates. His name was Sasori and he was a totally different type from him. He was the shortest and thinnest in the section, really petite, small delicate face with big dark brown eyes.

Since he had red hair, his very white skin was dotted with small freckles which, however, were only noticeable by looking closely at him. He was very quiet and apparently shy, during the interval Kisame had immediately tried to strike up a conversation, the little redhead spoke very little, he just nodded smiling eternally while Kisame freewheeled everything that came to his mind.

It still didn't seem real to him to be listened to so carefully by someone, he had happened to him very few times in his life. Already at the time he was passionate about sports, he went running, cycling and had recently started going to the gym. Sasori never broke down, continuing to smile and not taking initiatives, he never told anything about himself so Kisame, after a month, realized that he still knew practically nothing. The other classmates had started to avoid him, they nudged each other and giggled when he entered the classroom, no one spoke to him anymore so that, soon, he ended up having to sit in an isolated desk where he remained until the end of the three-year period.

This so painful situation made him attach even more to Sasori, the only one seemingly kind to him, it became a kind of addiction. The redhead had begun to agree to go out with him sometimes to eat pizza or have a drink, only that he also hung out with other people with whom he sometimes expressed a desire to meet. Kisame, in these cases felt devoured by jealousy and discouragement, it seemed that Sasori tended to purposely exclude him from these acquaintances, but he was still mature enough not to show it. However he had begun to see in his relationship with Sasori, however problematic and elusive, the only reason for his life. He only felt complete when he was with him, which is why he had begun to neglect his commitments, both study and sport, to meet Sasori's needs in order to spend as much time with him as possible.

One day, just starting the second year of middle school, Sasori had invited him to his house to see a film together, declaring that he had a totally free house for several hours, at least until his parents returned from the evening they would have spent at the theatre. Kisame, as soon as he heard the news, literally jumped for joy. The redhead lived a little out of town, but for Kisame it didn't represent the slightest problem to get on his racing bicycle to reach him.

The house was really strange. Unsettling. Being a former roadman, it was located practically close to the railway, from which it was distanced by a gravel road that barely left space for a car to pass. The entrance consisted of a glass door with a wooden frame, there was no bell so Kisame, once he arrived, had nothing to do but knock. His hand, already large and strong, made the panes shake so much that he was almost afraid to let them out of the structure. He could hear the background of a television on coming from inside. After a few minutes Sasori came to open the door for him, dressed in a very classic way as always, a gray turtleneck sweater and jeans which, given his extreme thinness, fit him just as big as all the other trousers he had on.

The first thing Kisame noticed upon entering was how narrow and dark the house was. On the left side was the door to what probably must have been a bathroom, flanked by a very small window protected by black iron bars. On the right, a wooden staircase, probably placed there following the construction of the house, led to an upper floor. In the compartment under the stairs themselves, in the thick half-light, Kisame managed to see some almost life-size wooden dolls, grotesque faces painted directly on the material, very strange clothes from past eras. Kisame gulped surprising himself for being scared by stupid puppets.

"Come on, come on, give me your jacket too" Sasori's calm and gentle voice aroused him, his eternally smiling face made him recover completely from his restlessness.

Dinner was spent in a peaceful way, apart from the roar of some train passing a few meters from the house. Kisame jumped every time while Sasori, obviously used to that noise and vibrations, remained totally indifferent. The dining room and the living room with television and sofa were in the same room, which was very small by the way. The kitchen was located in a small separate room.

It looks like the Lilliputian house, even his parents must not be very tall.

Sasori had prepared various pans of pizza with different flavours, it was evident that they had been made by rather inexperienced hands but Kisame appreciated the welcome anyway. They toasted with a prosecco that Sasori had taken from the cellar of the house.

"You know, my parents are very strict, they always told me not to dare drink alcohol before I came of age, but tonight is a special occasion..." the redhead had pronounced these words making his eternal smile even more bewitching .

As the conversation progressed, Sasori began to relate something personal in a way he had never used before. He confessed that he loved Dylan Dog's comics and Stephen King's novels. In fact, reading was his favorite pastime, not loving sports or video games like many kids their age. Kisame was realizing that they were totally different.

Don't be impressed, maybe it could be interesting!

"Heavy Metal"

It's as dark and creepy as his home.

Kisame began to feel a little less at ease even though Sasori's reassuring smile never underwent the slightest alteration, it almost looked like a still image, a living photograph. Kisame sighed imperceptibly trying not to be seen by Sasori and, forcing himself to smile, asked his friend what movie they were going to watch. The redhead's smile seemed to intensify, even if the change was minimal, Kisame seemed to feel the energy in the air. Sasori had chosen The House by Sam Raimi, a horrendous horror splatter that almost made Kisame laugh. Sasori looked, on the contrary, very serious, his eternal smile momentarily disappearing.

Who would have known it was like this? There's something weird about him, yet he seemed like a pretty normal guy.

Kisame fidgeted on the sofa, the feeling of inadequacy growing more and more. As soon as he finished watching that very strange film, the smile of the little redhead returned to the charge: "What would you like to do now? We'll watch another film, shall I go down to the cellar to get some more prosecco or do you want to see the rest of the house?"

Kisame opted for the last proposal, sincerely he didn't feel like seeing some other horror absurdity or risking a reproach to Sasori for too many missing bottles. But he also had to admit that he couldn't wait to get out of there. Sasori took hold of his friend's tiny white hand, the much larger and tanned one, guiding him up the narrow wooden stairs. The structure creaked and was also very slippery, especially at the point where it bent in a very tight curve, Kisame couldn't help but think of those awful puppets that he had seen as he entered and that were now under their feet. The steps led into a small room in which there was a wardrobe, a single bed and a small desk with a green glass lamp, a pen holder and some books placed on it. At the foot of the bed a door led to another room, most likely the parents' bedroom, on the other wall a very narrow window with wooden shutters closed.

"Here I sleep," Sasori explained as if that very strange house were the most normal thing in the world. Actually Kisame had realized that it had the shape of a cube, four very small rooms, two below, two above and no corridor, it was the first room to perform the function of passage.

"Come on, undress" Sasori said these words to him point-blank, planting himself in front of him and without losing his perennial smile. Kisame gulped, the situation was becoming more and more unusual, however he decided to obey, Sasori was his only friend, losing him would have meant being totally alone. Kisame's sporty green sweatshirt landed on the tan floor, followed by the light blue jeans and white sneakers.

"Those too" Sasori's large dark eyes sparkled as his right index finger brushed his friend's boxers.

Kisame slurred with a dry mouth. Sensing he had no choice, he also stripped off the last garment that was left on his muscular body. Sasori remained in silence for a few moments, gazing at his body and slightly bending his head to one side, seconds that seemed endless to Kisame, then finally, accompanying him towards the single bed: "Come, sit here."

The extremely small redhead walked towards the wardrobe extracting what at first glance seemed like a very particular slip and another object which, in the extreme dim light of that house, Kisame could not figure out what it was.

"Can you wear it for me?"

The taller boy couldn't believe it, what the smaller one had given him was a baby diaper complete with a safety pin, albeit a fake one.

It's not possible, is this a joke?

Hoping that was the case, Kisame decided to always wear it following his extreme contentment character. Sasori continued to smile without ever baring his teeth.

"Now my baby has to go to sleep."

Kisame felt his mouth open wide and his ice blue eyes widen as if his facial muscles had taken on a life of their own, the tone of the redhead's voice had even changed, from calm and gentle it had suddenly become altered. Kisame's heart started pounding, what he felt snaking through him was the beginning of terror. Without saying anything and feeling frozen, he lay down on the bed, Sasori approached raising some wooden slats that in a few moments surrounded the bed exactly as it happens for small children's cradles, Kisame hadn't noticed that the bed was surrounded by that devilry.

"Now mommy's preparing your baby food, don't move from here or she'll make you tò tò" Sasori mimicked a slap with his right hand while with his left he stuck a rubber pacifier into his mouth. He went downstairs again as Kisame literally started shaking.

Sure it's a game or a joke, but then why do I get the impression that he's completely insane? Come on think and stay calm!

He could have demolished those damned wooden slats with one hand, get dressed, go downstairs, retrieve his brown jacket, throw open the glass door to get on the racing bike and go hurtling away into the night. Instead, big and strong but too good as he was, he didn't even have the courage to remove the pacifier from his mouth. A passing train made him jump. After a few minutes Sasori reappeared in the room. He had put on a pink polka dot dress and a wig with blonde curls, his body was impressively thin, you could clearly see the shape of the sternum and the kneecap, between the thighs and calves there was a really minimal difference, it seemed that even his muscles were non-existent.

His skin clinging to his bones.

Kisame's mind was now reeling clinging to nonsense as he watched him approach with a bottle full of milk in his hand. Sasori lowered the front rail of the wooden cage he had imprisoned Kisame in.

In reality I am a prisoner of myself, of my loneliness.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed he handed him the bottle by removing the pacifier from his mouth, Kisame grabbed it realizing that the milk was even hot.

"Come on, eat my little one"

Kisame's hand trembled as he brought the rubber nipple to his full lips. Sasori hugged him while Kisame dumbfounded sucked the milk from the bottle, he knew very well he had a shocked expression on his face, he couldn't take his clear eyes off Sasori as if he could have implemented some dangerous reaction at any moment . However the red was not in the least disturbed, his brown eyes were languid and shiny with pleasure, his small thin lips had parted slightly showing the upper front teeth for the first time.

"You are my baby…"

As soon as Kisame had finished drinking the milk, he took the bottle from his stiff hand to straddle one of his muscular thighs, his very white skin was hot, he seemed almost in the grip of a fever. He began rubbing against the shapes of his developed muscles, he didn't seem to realize how tight they were. Kisame at the beginning of their relationship, as soon as he had met him, had been attracted beyond belief by him, but since he had entered his house that evening, he seemed to have another person in front of him, almost a Martian.

It's true that people never fully know each other, but this must be a nightmare, maybe I'm going crazy or I'm already tied up inside some asylum!

He had been attracted to him, but now he had to admit that he felt a kind of revulsion as the other rubbed against his leg. That could be defined as his first sexual experience, agree that the first time is never the best, but certainly he would never have imagined being in such a situation.

Is the alternative to be alone again? Maybe you didn't realize that no one at school wants to sit next to you.

Sasori was now lying on his chest with skin soaked in sweat kissing his developed pecs.

"Don't you like it, Kisame? You have to open up to me, reveal to me what you want me to do to give you satisfaction"

He couldn't say anything anymore, he was too shocked and torn by contrasts even to be able to think clearly. As soon as Sasori had calmed down, Kisame finally managed to get up from that bed, he quickly dressed expressing the desire to go home making the excuse of being tired.

"Excuse me but now I have to cycle a couple of kilometers in the dark" he justified himself as Sasori handed him the jacket.

"Don't worry, thanks for coming, I had a great time. You can come back anytime you want, of course." His smile and his calm tone of voice were back.

"Definitely, see you at school."

Kisame got on the bicycle and turned on the light starting to dart in the night. Every once in a while he turned to look over his shoulder as if to make sure no one was following him even though he knew it was pretty stupid.

Damn, he's crazy! But he still remains the only friend I have, what can I do?

He hoped that at least, after that evening, Sasori could become his classmate.

"Don't blame me, Kisame, but you know how our class is, if they knew that we are a couple they would never leave us in peace and we would both end up marginalized. When are you coming to my house?"

Kisame was asked that question almost every day throughout the second year of middle school, but he obviously always made up an avalanche of excuses not to do it.

They went out together, they went to dinner, to the cinema, to the bar, but there was no longer any form of intimate relationship, the redhead would have liked to but Kisame naturally didn't feel like it, he was too shocked. This inevitably led them to distance themselves, they progressively stopped going out and even speaking in class. Kisame gradually returned to being totally alone and being the target for all the meanness of his classmates just for not hiding from the beginning that he was homosexual. It was the most terrible time of his entire life he even felt guilty for letting slip away the only friend he had managed to make.

Agreed it was an unhealthy relationship, but couldn't you at least keep him? You were a fool, he is a particular type and with queer tastes but you could have been a little more tolerant.

He decided to throw himself into study and sport so as not to think, he hated himself, he wanted to disappear from the face of the earth and he didn't even have anyone to confide in, Sasori no longer even looked him in the face. When he needed to cry he was very careful that no one noticed.

You have no right to cry, it's your fault you're alone.

One day Sasori didn't show up for school, the same did the next day and the next day again. After a week, the news began to spread that he had ended up in a psychiatric community for the treatment of mental illness. He had already had a passion for building life-size wooden puppets with creepy shapes by hand for many years, but now he was even caught by his parents having sex with them. Confirmation of this was given to all by the literature teacher who was the one who kept the class for the longest hours and who, consequently, knew them best.

"Sasori unfortunately needs to be treated, but don't worry, after he completes his journey he will come out completely healed. He will still continue his studies in the place where he is"

An excited buzz rose from the pews as Kisame caught himself breathing a sigh of relief. He spent the third and final year of middle school in total solitude, no one spoke to him anymore, as if only he were present in the room, but at least he was free from feelings of guilt both towards Sasori and towards himself same. It was true that the redhead had problems and it hadn't just been an impression of him; he wondered absently if by chance he would happen to see him again and what person he would be after recovery.

The day of the exam he felt an incredible release, he had the impression of walking without touching the ground. Just finished and passed it with full marks, he left the school without looking back and without saying goodbye to anyone, now that he would never see them again he was finally free to breathe.