Arlong Park looked more normal on the inside than Naruto was expecting. Sure, the giant pool that opened up to the ocean in the middle was a small should've-seen-that-coming surprise, but the place had an old-school temple-like feel to it. At least in architecture. In practice it was most likely more like the Academy back home but without the teaching part. Arlong was acting as the head (or Hokage, but Naruto didn't want to compare him to that for obvious reasons), the trusted officers ("teachers") in the crew were in charge of the weakest members ("students").
Or so he spun the entire deal in his head while half-listening to Arlong's long list of threats and demands as he sat in the middle of them all, hands still tied behind his back unreasonably tightly.
Seriously, he was at a point he should start worrying about blood flow according to his inner Sakura. So he shifted, deliberately, rolling shoulders as much as he was able and crossing his legs as he slumped. The fishes looked annoyed at his nonchalance. Good.
"Lemme get this straight," he said. "You want me to stay locked up painting both storage and reinforcement seals, but you also don't want me to move around at all or my toes are goners?"
More than a few lips curled up in disgust. Probably because he'd just 'misunderstood' most of their threat instructions.
"First you will tell me exactly how they work," Arlong said, at least outwardly calm. "Gutsy little brat, if I don't like what I see…"
"Yea, yeah, tear me to pieces, toss me to Momoo- you never said you have a giant sea cow, by the way, how cool is that! -and my friends never find out what happened 'cause they're busy being dead. I am listening! And I told you five times!?"
Okay, maybe those disgruntled grumbles and hateful glares were becoming a bit much for the current situation. Especially if he wanted to buy time. Arlong didn't sigh but Naruto hoped it was close.
"'Put chakra in and poof' doesn't cut it," he drawled. "Now spreading blood on top, I can understand-" Naruto felt that was said very pointedly, "-but won't give me the faintest idea on its capabilities."
Maybe it really was time to wrap this drama up. He had a feeling everyone's patience, including his own, was running thin. So he sighed heavily, seemingly giving in.
"Fiiine! Written instructions would be clearer, ya know? First, a storage seal has a size and weight ratio limit, like a bag, and doesn't store living stuff if not made for it and that's a rare skill to have-" he prattled on about storage seals, mixing and matching information from different seals but still getting the general idea across somewhat accurately, all the while minimizing the actual knowledge gained.
For example, what chakra is, only telling them that blood has it and is needed to activate a seal. Just a papercut or thumbprint would do. All the while omitting chakra can be otherwise manipulated within and outside of the body.
If someone were smart enough to take notes they would get more out of this, but since Naruto had managed to create a few clones already and was informed by one dispelling that the fishmen weren't doing that, he spared no detail. Except the details were in the wrong order. And backwards. And maybe flipped around to sound sensible when Arlong interrogated 'clarifications' out of him.
Finally, after what felt like hours, he was tossed into a cell with a giant ankle cuff chained to the cell bars, got a desk and writing supplies, and was told to make one storage seal and one reinforcing seal. The supplies were exactly enough for that… from what Naruto 'accidentally revealed' to them. He suppressed a grin.
Wouldn't do to give away the game so early. They did leave a guard to watch him like a hawk. This one was probably called Chew.
Naruto made a show of testing the 'enormous' weight of his shackle and looking disgruntled, then trudged very heavily to the desk and started working.
Let's see them chew on what he had cooking up!
xXXx
Tentakanoia knew his name was too long to keep as is, but would it kill his crewmates to come up with nicknames that make sense?
"Tackle, are you done with that sword?"
"It's Taka," he grumbled, using a little more force than necessary to finish up the sharpening. "Yes."
Hossa scoffed at him and got away with it because he was a little better at cleaning up after messes than Taka was.
"You know that's too close to Take's name for practicality," Hossa said, probably sounding quite reasonable in his mind, and dropped another sword in the pile. "Here."
"Tackle sounds stupid."
"Then you shouldn't have tackled so many people in the last tournament!"
Hossa was right, but he didn't have to sound so smug about it.
"Get lost!"
"Sure, sure," the yellow fishman grinned a fanged smile and retreated from Tentakanoia's working space.
It was safe enough to get lost in the work after that. Swipe, check for burrs, swipe again and again, try to cut a scale, continue, switch sides. It was calming and made him slightly regret chasing his company away.
"Hoi, Tentacle," someone called from around a corner and all regrets flew out the window as he slammed the whetstone down.
"IT'S TAKA!" he roared, marching up there to see a crewmate he never remembered the name of, but wouldn't admit to not knowing.
"Whoa, chill out," the unnamed fishman with red rimmed gills held up hands in a placating gesture. "I was about to tell you I'd put the sharpened ones back into place."
Tentakanoia paused in contemplating how much trouble it would be to punch him straight in the face versus challenging him into a duel. Probably more trouble than letting him do the annoying part of his chore for him. He glared and was gratified when his crewmate shrunk in on himself. That was enough revenge for now. He spun around, gesturing for the fellow to follow. Heh. He cracked himself up.
"Do what you want," he grumbled. "Never call me tentacle again."
There was no response but the weak willed roe picked up the finished pile and scampered off toward the armory, so Tentakanoia counted it as a win. He continued his work to satisfaction and sighed as he realized he was going to have to go on a trip to the armory himself too. Nothing for it. At least it was easy to carry.
It was only until he got to the armory to see all of his hard work strewn about haphazardly that he realized he should've learned the name after all.
xXXx
"Did you hear? Tackle is on a rampage through the barracks," Hesso said as they walked. "Something about messing up the chores."
Bess hummed in reply, having heard the initial scream of rage earlier that day. He'd promptly found himself a task to do far away from there. After all, he was fairly certain Taka had it out for him since that one time he accidentally called him Canoe. Hesso knew that too since he was always after gossip.
"There's a few other messy ones today. Someone mixed up the soap and oil canisters when trying to mop up the east corridor," Simon said, fidgeting with his hands and red rimmed gills quivering nervously.
Bess didn't blame him. Taka had been yelling about getting back at a nameless 'red-gilled ragnose', and few people fit that bill. Hesso grunted as he opened the door to the mess hall.
"That makes no sense. Isn't the oil stored in the kitchen?"
"The soap was in the kitchen today," Simon replied.
"...Wait, was it you on mopping duty?"
"...No?"
"You were!"
"Shut up about it."
Bess tuned them out to get himself some seaweed salad with the fried salmon. It was a good meal today, in celebration of capturing the mysterious kid who could make their storage issues a non-issue. If they could get him to cooperate. Bess had his doubts about that, but who was he to question Arlong? The Captain had led them well to this day. None of them wanted for good grub.
Ugh, the argument was getting too hissy to ignore. Best to interrupt.
"Simon, you said other chores got messy too?"
"Hm? Yeah. The main ladder broke in the cellar so it's an entire operation to get anything out of there before that's fixed."
Hesso whistled through his teeth. "Does that mean no booze today?"
"You're welcome to try getting it."
Satisfied that the intervention worked, Bess brought the first mouthful of food to his lips. Only to pause as a particular scent stung his nostrils. Just then the table next to them started chugging their water like their life depended on it, screaming about fire.
"THIS IS ATROCIOUS!" someone down three tables yelled.
"What was the kitchen thinking!?"
"My eyes need watering, my eyes!"
Another table scrambled up and made for the pier to get relief under water. Bess was very glad of his sense of smell as he dubiously put the salmon down again, glaring at the red hot chili peppering it here and there. They'd brought out the hot stuff today of all days…
Hesso made a strangled noise and slammed his head into the table. Simon started cackling at him.
"Why!? You saw! And you tried anyway!"
"I bibn't dink it was dis hoooooooot…"
Bess shook his head and started inspecting his salad to see if any of that was edible.
"Oi chef! What's the big idea!?" the table who first tried the food coughed out.
Oh. That was no good. The kitchen did as the kitchen did and you did not question unless you were Arlong or Hachi.
"QUIET DOWN!" speak of the devil. "A complete half of you voted for extreme spices today! SUFFER THE MAJORITY'S WILL YOU FOOLS!"
And he disappeared back behind the kitchen doors with a bellowing laugh. Another laugh started echoing from the doorway, where their Captain stood with his plate and chowed down the impossibly spicy food with gusto.
"Shahahaha! I knew putting the option up to vote would pay off someday! Shahahaha!"
…Bess appreciated that the Captain didn't put his food preferences on the menu every day.
But then, half the crew voting for this was rather alarming. He looked at the food, then at the people suffering the consequences, and quickly calculated that more than half was genuinely suffering from this result. Why would those ever go through the optional choice for voting on this?
"Was someone threatened into this?" he wondered aloud.
Hesso wheezed and reached for his water weakly. Bess nudged it towards him to get a second opinion on his thought experiment faster.
"I mean," he got out after first gurgling through half the mug. "I wouldn't put it past some people attempting to cheer up the biggest man."
Bess thought about it and nodded. That made sense. Yesterday was pretty sucky. Some of them had been held hostage. That was a scare none of them needed after such a long stretch of smooth sailing. And losing Nami on top of that… Well. Captain Arlong deserved a pick-me-up.
"...What if the kid cursed us with bad luck," Simon muttered. "So much went wrong today too."
"Nah, that can't be it," Hesso said, regaining most of his color and poking at the food warily. "He was forced to explain all about his abilities, right? Curses were definitely not on the list."
Yeah, that was a step too far in the conspiracy theories. Bess took what he thought to be a spice-free piece of seaweed and bit into it. He grimaced. Even touching the salmon a little had a pretty potent flavor.
He had to be careful with the rest.
xXXx
Mart hated today. He was still aching from that fight with those pests — who he still couldn't believe the Captain spared — and things were swimming against the current since. Officer Hachi was yet again up to his goldfish brain antics and forgot to inform them of tomorrow's itinerary, so he had to hunt the octopus down for those only to be led on a wild goose chase down the command chain who thought everyone else had handled it already.
Then Tenta-whoever stormed into the dorms as he was finally done with that and everyone got into an argument so loud fists flew, and his favorite mug got crushed underfoot! After stepping in to get those idiots to clean after themselves he marched out for food, only to be told that today of all days the threat of the spiciest seafood in the world had come to fruition.
That wasn't counting the process of getting the alcohol out from the cellar. Someone had even gotten to his emergency stash and nobody out there was confessing anything!
It felt, dare he think it, fishy.
So he was here, marching by the cell-turned-working-space and getting permission from a bored Chew to check in on the blond brat who was responsible for the start of the worst day of his career!
"Vermin," he growled, choosing that since Arlong did and Captain Arlong's word was law.
He took vindictive pleasure in watching the sea serpent spawn flinch hard enough to trail an inky black line over his work. The kid turned to him, eyes squinting and face set into a scowl, but his body was tense as a bowstring. Ha. Not so tough now, was he?
"What's the big idea, huh!? You're costing your crew more resources!" the spawn snapped and Mart's patience reached an end.
He banged a fist against the bars, and was gratified to note the threat was enough to make him hunch in on himself more.
"You know why you're here. Cap'n is letting you live out of his own mercy, you don't get to question a thing!" he barked, leaning back and crossing his arms.
Something eased in him to have the blond be afraid. At least their sudden misfortune wasn't a malicious enemy plot. Haa, what had he been thinking, even? A scrawny bag of rotten seaweed like this couldn't think his way out of a torn fishnet! No way would he confess to thinking anything of the sort. He let a malicious grin slip past his wide jaw, knowing humans found it intimidating like not much else. The kid didn't look away, didn't move. Frozen in fear.
He maybe understood a little more why they'd switched Nami for this one. Almost loyal as she may have been, she didn't give these reactions anymore. Good riddance, Mart always thought, he'd never liked her in here anyway. They should've given her a cell like this to work with. Children were always easier to keep in line too.
"If you work hard you might survive. Better pray those 'friends' of yours never come lookin'," Mart glared, turning sharply on his heel and marching away.
He didn't see Naruto turning away and shivering, hiding a grin behind the fake fear reaction.
xXXx
The clone left Arlong Park as night fell, slipping quietly into the marshland like he'd practiced a million times in Wheat Village when he didn't want to be found and stared at, or when he wanted more information or just practice. Though the trees had made it easier, and this wide open space made him feel… almost naked. But that's why there was a plan. The lookout schedule had been easy enough to disrupt with a henge, just as all the pranks had been easily set up by their group of five clones by stealing their captors' faces for a minute or two.
Which was why he knew he had a clear ten minute window to get far enough to hide behind something. He'd make the most of it. Luckily ninja trained to be fast and he was fast, fast enough to get to the edge of the forest in that time.
Then it was only the matter of finding his crew.
The problem came when he realized this plan hinged on him actually knowing which direction the village was in. It had been so long since he had to take in and memorize a new terrain swiftly, and Sasuke and Sakura were usually in charge of that too, so Naruto was maybe pulling a Zoro right now. In his defense, things look different at night okay!
The forest was where he was in his element, but that didn't mean he was a tracker of all things. Kakashi-sensei was the actual specialized one on the team, and Kakashi-sensei was so awesome he had more than one specialization! But well, Naruto was his student and he knew, knew his Sensei had taught him some tracking if he could just remember.
Grumbling to himself he set out to peek over the treetops as often as he could, trying to conserve chakra so he had some utility tomorrow. He just had to last long enough to be the relay point between Boss and the crew.
Within an hour he found he needn't have bothered. Sanji's yelling echoed all over the sky and startled some birds next to Naruto. Why Sanji was the one yelling, he didn't know, the message too garbled to make out, but at least he had a direction. He booked it.
"-dangerous for the brat! We need to go unseen!" Sanji was arguing, standing in front of a pouting Luffy who had his arms crossed.
Luffy, who looked a little off somehow.
"Duh. That's why it's best to go now. It's dark," Luffy said simply, frowning.
Naruto dropped in at that sentence, making sure to step on some crunchy leaves. "Yeah! Dark's good for sneaking!"
Everyone whirled around and Naruto was rooted to the spot by the absolute anguished fury striking across Nami's face, the red puffy eyes making the impression worse because Boss had made her cry this time. Anxious chakra swirled in his made-up stomach. Nami marched up to him, stopping just short of punching him in the head.
"You're a clone," she said, voice rough, and lowered her fist.
He gulped and nodded silently.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. It took a few seconds. "Naruto's alright."
He nodded again.
Nami's very tense shoulders slumped. "Right. Right. We have time, then. There's time yet…"
"NARUTO!" Luffy cheered, rubbery arms reaching out to snatch him by the armpits, making Naruto yelp as he was shot into and dangled in the air suddenly. "Shihihihi, you're here! Now you can be in the raid too!"
He wiggled a little in panic before settling as he realized there was no way out that wouldn't make him dispel himself.
"Raid?" he asked. "You're planning on going to Arlong right now?"
"No we're not," Sanji grumbled. "Because a crap brat like you is held hostage."
Aww, Sanji cares, he smiled smugly to himself before frowning.
"Oi, I could take 'em long enough to escape!" he said.
"He can!" Luffy took his side and dropped him in the same breath, making Naruto scramble to stick a landing.
This time Sanji looked thoughtful. Zoro absently slid a thumb over the hilt of one sword, sharp eyes on Naruto before nodding. He'd watched this play out without interference, clearly trusting Luffy's decisions with this but not above making sure they'd thought it through. Zoro was cool.
Nami walked up to them and put her hands on her hips. They trembled, and Naruto realized again that she had the most at stake out of any of them.
"If we're doing this-" she cut off to breathe. "...If we're doing this, we're doing this right. Naruto has himself and clones on the inside. Don't you?"
He felt a grin stretch across his face. "Yup! We pulled some great pranks on them!"
His comment was apparently so out of left field that Nami was thrown out of her nerves into some shocked state. Luffy started snickering quietly. She seemed torn between whether to reprimand him until her face was blue or gleefully milk him for every detail. He'd equally gleefully give her every detail later whether she asked or not. But after, probably.
Naruto was currently a bit too furious after finding the Map Room and its blood stained quills. He'd have to figure out what to do with that first. And he needed Nami's opinion. And Luffy's. And right this moment wasn't the moment where he could ask.
"And you are sure they don't know it's you?" Zoro asked bluntly.
"Yeah. I made sure Arlong was happy with the spicy food vote, and fooled the one who suspected anything by acting scared!"
Nami inhaled sharply, and Naruto decided to believe it was for the ingenuity he had with snuffing out the spice-vote plus who it was for and forging some votes. He grinned up at her proudly, hoping it was reassuring.
Usopp clapped a trembling hand on his shoulder. "You've done bravely, young warrior."
"Thanks… I'm a ninja."
Naruto swore he could hear Sanji mutter 'there's a difference?' but that couldn't be right. Everyone knew ninjas were cooler than the lame warrior samurai of Iron. Then he remembered people in East Blue lived on islands and had never even heard of the Elemental Nations most of the time. Well, whenever he asked. He chose to ignore that can of worms for now.
"Take this seriously," Nami snapped, and everyone shot to attention.
Luffy most of all. He stepped in front of her and grabbed her upper arms firmly. Naruto couldn't see his eyes from this angle, but the slant of his mouth was serious.
"Nami," he said, and his voice sounded deeper and reverbating, like fact. "We will save your village. I will beat Arlong. It's a promise from the Future Pirate King!"
A small spark of belief swirled in Nami's eyes, Naruto could see it, and she bit her lower lip in her indecision. Her hand reached up and-
Oh… Luffy gave her his straw hat. He hadn't noticed. That's what was off, Luffy didn't have his hat on!
"Alright," she whispered, the spark growing into something sharper. "But we will plan for how."
Zoro let out a huff of offense behind them. "Luffy is Captain."
And Naruto knew he was right. That's what he'd agreed to by joining, wasn't it? He just… wasn't used to the thought of having a Captain. Another… leader? Other than Kakashi-sensei and the Hokage. Hmm.
Luffy only stared at Nami in a look of pure scrutiny that seemed to pierce through everything, before nodding as sharply as Nami was looking up at him.
"Nami can plan this," he said to her before turning to grin at them all, dark mirth behind it and eyes smoldering embers of determination. "Then we go win."
Naruto was happy with this. He had experienced Nami's plans. She was good at it. And he had placed himself in the best spot to gather intel. And if the way she was looking at him was any indication, she knew it too. She trusted him to do it.
And that meant a lot after seeing her at her lowest.
"I'll get you what info I can," he promised her, and she gave a grim quirk of her lips in return.
Then she straightened and looked at her crew with quick calculation in her gaze and shrewdness befitting a thief and haggler. It was like watching Shikamaru decide on a course of action. All hesitation thrown aside for a clear path forward. And Naruto knew, by just looking around at this team, this crew, and their focus on her.
They'd help her get through this with all their skill at her disposal, come hell or high water.
xXXx
Naruto: *finds map room and activates petty vengeance*
Fishmen: this is a totally normal amount of misfortune
Mart: no! I have someone to blame!
Naruto: *pathetic whelp act*
Mart: this is a totally normal amount of misfortune
Luffy: I will manhandle this clone, nothing can go wrong
Clone: DONT POP ME DONT POP ME DONT POP ME-
Nami: *internal screaming reached crescendo and won't come down*
Also Nami: Let my depressed self plan this futile venture where we'll all surely die like fools
Also also Nami: *clutches comfort hat*
FINALLY! I HAVE SOMETHING! It's been a struggle, a real struggle I tell you! But we're getting somewhere. Someday we'll even get to the beatdown. Hopefully now that I found a little bit more flow it will be much sooner than this... Gah. Why can't words write themselves?
Anyway, hope the wait was somewhat worth it. The OC Arlong Pirates and coming up with subtle enough pranks was the hardest part. I even asked Mom for a 'random Japanese-sounding name' because of how stuck I was and Tentakanoia became a wonderful gag.
Now to bullying the rest of the plot into place! Wish me luck!