So, this chapter and next chapters are gonna have a bunch of buildup to some things. Hopefully they'll be interesting, but I'm gonna be honest...I'm hoping to blue ball everybody on Godzilla all the way to chapter 15, at the least. I'm not sorry about this, but you can rest assured that I at least don't get off on it.
More OCs this chapter, if you're triggered by that, as well as what I'm told on SB is 'cringe' (it is probably). We've got the second love interest showing up, as well as two more. Again, if you don't like that, I don't care~!
Disclaimer: Godzilla and all related trademarks are owned and licensed by Toho Co., Ltd, Legendary Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Pictures. High School DxD is owned and licensed by Ichiei Ishibumi and Fujimi Shobo. I own neither series, please support official releases.
D-day was the end of the first month of school.
The 'D', of course, stands for 'Dumbass'. I honestly had no other word for it anyway, and it fit. So, 'Dumbass Day' it is.
Just like the historical event, this D-day didn't just come out of nowhere. There was a buildup to it, before everything just came crashing down.
The buildup was my brother and our two idiot friends being caught not once, not twice or thrice, but quince (I think that's a word?) times peeping on girls in their local changing room of choice. And they were, obviously, quickly 'dealt with' as publicly by said girls as possible before any intervention from Student Council could take place.
And would you believe it, that was still them doing it in moderation.
The continued buildup were the rumors, the whispers in the halls. The disgusted, enraged looks that many of the girls would send those three. And the questions I would get from people asking 'hey, why is your brother such a perverted creep?'.
That, or they accidentally mistook me for him-which wouldn't be the first time, but this was a lot more dangerous. And I couldn't really do much to nip it in the bud. The last time I'd tried to stop getting Issei to peek, he ended up looking like the Crypt Keeper after 'swearing it off'. It was disturbing to look at, so I stopped trying to hold him back from it.
Everything came to a head, however, on that morning at the end of the month. See, Issei, Matsuda, and Motohama were doing something they often did in their free time. Something that they did without even thinking of the consequences it would bring. And I mean that from more than just a social standpoint.
Yeah, they were reading porn.
While in class. Sure, it was Homeroom, but still, they just had it laid out for everybody to see, to fully understand that they were reading porn. And they were giggling the entire time.
…I mean, it was nice porn, don't get me wrong. But, like, in the middle of class? This wasn't even anime-based stupid, this was advanced 5-D stupid. The kind of stupid that you can't even fathom being possible.
"Damn pervs."
"Scum! They're nothing but scum!"
"What kind of perverted monkey thinks this is a good idea?"
"Perverts!"
"Damn weirdos!"
"Okay, but that one set of pics ain't half bad~!"
"Yeah, they're so big-I mean, perverts!"
The entire classroom seemed to drown in those whispers. Not that I automatically cared, since it wasn't getting annoying right away. A sentiment my twin and our friends shared, seeing as it didn't stop them from eyeing their magazines with dopey grins and blood-dripping noses.
It was when one girl stood up, shaking with indescribable rage. She wasn't one of the girls they'd peeked on. I know for a fact because I didn't recognize her from any of the clubs. But she was angry nonetheless.
"You three! What the hell is wrong with you?!" When the three of them turned to her in confusion, her ire grew. "Do you animals not have any shame?!"
"...Should we?" Issei asked in confusion.
"I don't get what the problem is," Motohama shrugged.
"The problem is that you're perverts! And you're reading porn in class!" the girl shouted.
"...Oi? Who you callin' a pervert?!" my brother hissed angrily.
"I-what?!"
"I'm no simple pervert. I…am the lover of all things bouncy~! My name is Hyoudou Issei, and I love oppai~!" Issei stood to his feet and pumped his fist into the air. "I love all breast sizes! Big, medium, small, I don't care! Oppai are the ultimate manifestations of sexuality and beauty!"
"B-Bwuh?!"
"My dream-no, my goal in life, is to fall in love with lots of women. I, Issei Hyoudou, shall become the Harem King~!" my brother finished with the most tearful shout I'd heard. "I won't fail! I will have a harem, even if it's the last thing I do! I am no simple pervert! I am the ultimate pervert~!"
The girl who'd been shouting was looking at him like he was a lunatic. Hell, even the few yokai that were in class were eyeing him warily. Every girl there was looking at him like he was absolutely crazy.
Some of the guys were actually crying, however. And two in particular-
"Sugoi! Issei, you're incredible!" Matsuda cried out. "But I won't be left behind! I, too, have a goal in life!" the bald boy pumped his own fist with equal enthusiasm. "I enjoy petite, slim bodies! Flat is justice. The meat rises for all sizes! I want a cute, legal loli girlfriend! I won't fail!"
That got a lot of looks from the rest of the class, specifically disgust. Matsuda didn't seem to care. He was too busy drooling and giggling as he twirled in place dreamily.
"You jerks! How could you leave me out like this?!" Motohama cried out, standing to his feet with an imperious glare. "I, too, have a perverted goal! I possess the 'Three-Sizes Scouter', an ability to measure a girl's three-sizes with just a single glance. My dream has grown and evolved over the course of my life. No longer do I simply want to fall in love with the woman possessing the perfect measurements~!" The bespectacled teen adjusted his glasses, then gave both the boys and the rest of the class the most determined look I'd seen from him. "My goal is to gather and store data on the measurements of all the world's most beautiful women! I will obtain that great, forbidden knowledge~! That is my goal in life!"
"Sugoi! Motohama! Your power is amazing~!" Both my brother and his bald friend cried out tearfully.
"Perverts!"
"Disgusting!"
"How can those creeps lack shame?!"
"Just what are they planning on doing to all of us?!"
"Can he really scout our sizes?"
"I know, I kinda wanna-I mean perverts! Lechers!"
I sighed tiredly, wondering if I should just let things take their course. In a 'normal' high-school anime, Issei would probably end up being the perverted comic relief, while I'm the older brother who bails him out infrequently but dishes out smackings when I'm pissed off at him, and girls end up liking me because I can 'bring the pervert to heel'. But that behavior was the kind of thing an important main character would do, and would therefore get them dragged into the main plot.
Fucking no way in hell was I gonna let myself get screwed over like that! No, I'd have to do this. I'd been preparing for this since I was six. To protect my life, and the life of those I cherished, I would do anything. Even if I 'became the mask', it'd be for the only people that matter.
…Plus, I didn't want to leave my brother behind. Letting Issei do dumb shit without supervision was always a bad idea. And I really didn't want to see him deal with this just by himself-knowing those two, they'd leave him behind to get his ass kicked in their place whenever they dicked around.
I stood to my feet and slammed my hands on my desk. The rest of the class, my brother and our friends included, went deathly silent and turned to me. I simply sent them the most dreadful glare I could muster.
"...My name is Hyoudou Isashi. My goal…is to save our country!" I threw a fist high into the air as my shout reached a crescendo. "Japan's birthrate is failing day-by-day! The more time goes on, the less there will be in the next generation! I refuse to allow our country to die such a slow death!" I slammed my fist on my desk with a fierce roar. "I will marry lots of women, and with their help, I will expand the population! I will put my body on the line to save this country! I will do this as much as I can! Even if it kills me!"
"You're kidding me?!"
"Isn't that the guy who beat up some upperclassmen?"
"What the actual fuck is he saying?"
"He's just another pervert! Didn't you hear him?!"
"He said 'expand the population'. How do you think he's gonna do that~?"
"What a letdown. Another pervert!"
"For shame!"
"I dunno, expanding the population doesn't sound so-I mean, scum! Disgusting creep!"
The girl from before gave me the most incensed look I'd seen on another person. "Just what kind of lunatics are you?"
"Do we sound crazy to you?" I deadpanned. "Because I feel pretty sane."
"Yeah, I mean…what are you even trying to do?" Issei tilted his head curiously at the girl's shocked look. "Because if you're trying to make us feel ashamed, you're…not? We're not ashamed of this."
"You guys only measure us by what you've seen. You literally just called us animals earlier," Motohama frowned. "Do you even think we're real people? You certainly can't act like it."
The girl's eye twitched viciously. "You! Y-You! Do you know who I am?! You piece of-"
"No, I don't know who you are. And guess what? If you're only going to judge me by one thing you know about me, then you don't matter to me." I shrugged, giving her a disdainful look. "Why on earth would I care about what you think?"
"If people can't accept us, then who gives a damn?!" Matsuda cheered. "If you're only gonna look at me as a pervert, then you're not looking at the bigger picture. I don't need to suck-up to people who probably won't even remember my name."
"Agh! You impetuous swine!" the girl cried out angrily. "You damn quartet of perverts!"
And that led to our new nickname…
"The Perverted Quartet. Only three months since that nickname started going around…" I sighed.
"Hey, we at least went a month without getting labeled. I'd say that's an achievement," Matsuda smirked.
The four of us were lying on the side of a grassy hill just at the edge of the school courtyard. It was the normal 'sitting' spot that Matsuda and Motohama had chosen, due to the fact that it overlooked a large area, and the tennis court behind us was also frequently passed to get to different classes.
The reason they'd chosen it, obviously, was to check out girls. Because of course they'd want the best spot for that.
And yeah, it's been four whole months since we'd entered Kuoh Academy. We were now the Perverted Quartet, the biggest perverts in school.
We have Matsuda, the Perverted Baldy, and also he's been given the wonderful name of 'Sexual Harassment Paparazzi', because of his love of photography. Despite his reputation, his…ahem, 'business' was still lucrative, seeing as he was regularly making sales.
There's Motohama, the Perverted Glasses, but he's also been referred to as the 'Three Sizes Scouter' per his power. Just like he'd said, he's already started on his index of every girl's measurements.
Then there's Issei, the Perverted Idiot. Actually, people call him the 'Oppai Baka' more than anything else. Since Issei doesn't have a special power or a back-alley porn business, he isn't really referred to with any impressive nicknames.
I, on the other hand, am called the Perverted Delinquent, if only because people still remember that one fight I got in at the beginning of the school year, and nothing else. Sucks, but what am I gonna do? At least they don't think I'm as much of a dumbass as Issei.
Speaking of Issei, the boy in question let out a sigh as he sat up slightly. "Oi? Can you guys tell me why we enrolled here?"
"What, you can't remember? Kuoh turned co-ed just a few years ago after being an all girl's school for most of its lifespan," Matsuda hummed.
"There was no way in hell we weren't gonna take advantage of this male-to-female ratio," Motohama chuckled. "Plus, there's a bunch of girls from overseas attending. I've already heard rumors of how gorgeous they are~!"
"That means that boys are stupid valuable! We'll be popular without having to lift a finger~!" the bald boy continued. "There couldn't be any way we'd mess this up!"
"Hell yeah! It was a sure thing to finally get a harem~!" Issei cheered suddenly as he jumped to his feet.
"Hell yeah! We'd finally have success in romance! Oppai everywhere! So many babes~!" Matsuda sighed out dreamily.
"...Eh, or so, that was the plan," my brother whined as he turned to see the Track Team passing us by just at the top of the hill. "We're already four months into the year, and none of us have actually spoken to a girl yet-at least not without getting beat up. How the hell am I even supposed to get one girlfriend?"
"Quit saying that! You're making me feel empty…" Motohama mumbled. "Honestly, at this point, it's not likely to happen."
"No! Don't give up like that! That's quitter talk!" Issei shouted determinedly. "There's still a chance for us!"
"Well, y'know, maybe you shouldn't have announced that you were perverts to the entire class, huh?" I deadpanned.
"Shut up! If people can only judge us for being perverts, then why should we care about them?" the bespectacled boy whined.
"Hey, why did you do that too? I mean, you could've left it be and kept your reputation intact, y'know?" My brother leaned towards me curiously. "So why? Why'd you dump it all in the toilet like that when you could've gotten away?"
"Because you're my brother? I couldn't stand leaving you behind, no matter what." I stood to my feet while tilting my head thoughtfully. "So even if I could've kept my reputation mostly intact…I'd feel pretty shitty about letting you be stupid alone."
"You…you jerk!" Issei said tearfully. "You can't be selfish for once? You didn't have to do it, damn you!"
"Maybe not. But hey, that means I'm in it for the long haul," I mused, giving him a smug grin. "It also means I get to point out how this is all a problem of your own making."
"You don't get to laugh at us just because you're right!" my brother whined.
"Yes I do."
"Yes you do…" Issei accepted with a flat voice. "Still, why haven't we gotten with any girls yet?"
"We should've had chicks lining up to get a piece of us!" Matsuda cheered.
"...Did you three think they were gonna come to you?" I asked, somewhat shocked. "I mean, even without that whole spectacle three months ago, why would you think that? Did you guys not plan on putting any effort in?"
"What do you mean? We were just supposed to do as we normally do, and wait for a girl to come and confess to us." Motohama tilted his head curiously. "That's…kinda how it's supposed to go, right?"
"You aren't gonna get a girlfriend by just faffing about, doing fuck all! You're especially not gonna get one by peeking at them in the changing rooms!" I growled. "You have to actually talk to girls. Maybe hit them up when you can. How are you three not getting this?"
"Oh, I get it! It's like a dating sim!" Issei cheered.
"I mean, I guess you can think of it like that?" I offered.
"Then all that means is that we gotta find the right girl, and boost our affinity score with her!" the bald boy pumped his fist into the air. "Alright! That'll be easy~!"
"I think you're misconstruing my words. Life ain't a damn dating sim!" I deadpanned.
"Look, if we don't think of it like that, then…then we gotta talk to g-g-girls!" Matsuda said, suddenly becoming pale-faced. "Could you imagine actually doing that?!"
"...For fuck's sake! You three are hopeless!" I grumbled. "You talk to Tatsumiya and your cousin all the time, dumbass! How is that different?!"
"Well, one of them is my cousin, and both of them are fully capable of kicking my ass if I do something stupid. Also, since I know them better, I can predict what they'll do," the bald boy shrugged before rubbing the back of his head. "With other girls, we'll obviously get rejected. It's way better to wait for them to go for us."
"Idiot! Agh…fuck it! Today we're gonna talk to girls," I said loudly, grabbing the three of them as I approached. "First off-girls are people. You can easily talk to them. Second, if you want a girlfriend, the best option…is the cheesiest, dumbest pickup line you can give her. Something that's friendly and stupid, and will therefore make her laugh."
"P-Pickup line?" Motohama blinked when I released them from my hold. "Wait, like those books you kept getting from the library?"
"Exactly! I have, on my person, a booklet of pickup lines I have copied and/or created over the course of the last six years." I pulled out said booklet and skimmed through it. "You guys are gonna practice a bunch of 'em. I will then judge them on if they're stupid but usable and funny, and give them a pass. And then, one at a time, you are each going to wait for a girl to pass that path-" I motioned for the path next to the tennis court. "And you will throw out that pickup line. Here, look through it now!"
"Woah, wait, hold on! You can't just throw a booklet at us and expect us to understand-"
"Get to reading, idiots!" I hissed while slamming the booklet into Issei's hands.
A few minutes later, they stood in front of me nervously. Matsuda visibly and audibly swallowed before stepping forward.
"Hey, girl~? Do you like trees~? Because if a cat…" the bald boy's face scrunched up in confusion. "Because if a cat got stuck in a tree? Like, in the tree? Agh, wait! Hmm? If you were a cat stuck in a tree! You'd be a…a cat…eh…I totally forgot the pickup line."
I felt my hand slamming into my face at that. "Oh god, you're hopeless…right, fuck it! Motohama, you're up!"
The bespectacled boy strode forward and cleared his throat. "Ahem! Have you lost an electron? Because we've got chemistry~!" for about five seconds, Motohama was giving me a dumb grin before crying out loudly. "Shit! I totally messed that one up! It was supposed to be 'you're positively attractive'! Fuck, shit, fuck!"
"That's alright, that's alright! You've got the spirit, man!" I nodded. "He a little confused, but he's got the spirit! Issei, you're up!"
Issei strode forward and smirked. "Hey girl, are you furniture? Because I wanna bang my pinkie toe on you~!" precisely ten seconds after he said that, my brother nearly tripped on his own feet. "That was the wrong one, wasn't it?"
"Y-Yeah, it was wrong…" I said quietly.
"Damn it!"
"Hey, why aren't you doing this?" Motohama hissed. "You're saying we should talk to girls, but then you're not gonna join in. Are you just expecting us to suffer through rejection? Are you gonna laugh on the sidelines?! Do this yourself, asshole!"
"...Y'know what? You're right, man~!" I gave the three of them a wicked grin. "Why don't I show you how it's done? Here's what's gonna happen! We wait for a random girl to walk on that path. You measure her up-" I motioned to the bespectacled boy. "And then I'll go and hit her up. Whatever happens, happens."
"Even if you're rejected?" Matsuda asked. "Everybody says 'the worst she could say is no', but they're lying. You'll totally be called gross or something!"
"...And? Will it kill me?" I tilted my head as the three of them began to speak. "Like, actually? Will hearing a girl go 'ew' or something to that effect actually kill me? Because if not, then I'm good. So long as I can walk away from something, I'm not afraid."
"You…you bastard! How can you say that?!" my brother cried out worriedly.
"What kind of experience could you go through that would let you think you're safe?!" the bald boy wept.
"It's called conquering your fears. If I can handle your scary cousin coming at me with a flying ax kick, I think I can handle talking to girls and asking them out."
Also, y'know, the dying thing, remembering that put a lot of things into the perspective of 'nothing could be worse'. Plus, even if I hadn't remembered dying, I still remembered a living god of destruction staring me down with pure hatred. Plus the…the gold one, too. If I could reasonably recover from those things by the time I was in college, I could talk to girls without fear, no matter what life I was in.
"So…we just wait for a girl to walk by? We've gotta get to class in a few minutes too, y'know?" my brother mumbled.
"Well then, that means there should be more girls passing by," I shrugged. "Just give it about a minute. Then I'll show you that you're overreacting about this."
It turned out I barely needed thirty seconds for a girl to walk by. There was a set of bushes towards the far left end of the path that obscured people coming in, so I barely noticed her. When I did, I realized I might be fucked.
Even with the school uniform on, she seemed to stand out a bit. See, the moment I saw this girl, everything about her screamed 'female lead'. She had that kind of energy, no doubt. Plus, the way she looked gave me instant neuron activation, the kind of stuff that would make you think 'awooga' or suddenly blue screen just by the way she looked.
She was a drop-dead gorgeous, somewhat short girl with long pink hair done in loose twintails, and golden eyes that had a silvery sheen to them. Her face was heart-shaped, she had a cute button nose, her lips were full with a defined cupid's bow, and she had long eyelashes. Wrapped around her waist was a striped pink and white zip-up sweater.
It was also at this point that I realized…I had to stop denying my perverted thoughts. Because this girl was stacked. I had to hold my focus on not drooling like a hungry dog just at the sight of her. Yeah, I'm a total fuckin' pervert, and I guess I'm okay with that.
She had a body that I thought only existed in gravure and porn. Huge rack, slim waist, amazing hips, thick thighs-holy shit, she has a thigh gap, dear god. And even though she was trying not to, she still seemed to walk with a sway to her hips that almost felt hypnotizing. I actually grabbed my jaw just to make sure it didn't drop, because I knew I might accidentally catch flies.
"Holy shit!" Motohama gasped. "It's really her! The 'Hidden Onee-san'! She's real~!"
"...Hidden Onee-san? Hold on, what are you on about?" Issei asked suddenly.
"They're these six older girls who are each a year above us called 'The Great Onee-samas of Kuoh'. They're some of the most gorgeous women you'll ever lay eyes upon~!" the bespectacled boy adjusted his glasses with a determined look. "I only heard rumors, but…they say none of them have a bust size below the high 90s. And now we're actually seeing the most reclusive member out in the open! This feels like a dream~!"
"For real?! But…yeah, I totally buy that~! Her oppai look amazing!" my brother giggled.
"I have it on good authority…that they're like cups of wobbly pudding~!" Motohama sighed dreamily. "I heard she can't even get a bra that fits~! I bet she's totally going commando under that shirt right now!"
"No fucking way, for real?! That's awesome!" Matsuda cheered with a dopey grin. "Who is she?!"
"Her name is Izuho Tamane, 112/58/96. They call her 'The Hidden Onee-san'. From what I've heard, dozens of guys have tried to confess their love to her." The bespectacled boy had an odd expression as he turned to us. "She's constantly avoided them, however. Based on what my sources say, when a guy tries to confess to her, she'll immediately say that she has other commitments, then she'll run off. Then, she'll just disappear, as though she didn't exist, until the would-be lover gives up. Even then she'll rarely show herself for some time. She's like a ghost~!"
"Well, the first thing I can say is…damn~!" I said breathily. "Seriously? Like, wow, she's gorgeous~! Hell yeah~! Time to put my money where my fucking mouth is!"
"Wait, what?" Issei asked dumbly, eyes going wide as I walked past him. "Wait, what?! What the fuck are you doing?!"
"Eh? The pickup line thing. You know, where I shoot the girl a pickup line, and see what happens?" I supplied.
"Did you not hear a word I just said?! She's just gonna run away!" Motohama hissed.
"Pfft, what? Nah, I'm not gonna confess to her. It's just one or two pickup lines~!" I chuckled confidently. "If she says she's not interested, she's not interested. You guys are acting like it's the end of the world!"
"...Nii-san! I'll grieve for you when she brings you down!" my brother said tearfully.
"But if you manage to woo her…we'll hate you forever!" the bespectacled boy hissed angrily.
"Yeah! If you pull her, please die!" Matsuda said hotly.
"Yeah, yeah, fuck you too. I'll be back~!" I said as I continued my trek up the hill.
I was halfway up the hill before I realized that the girl-Tamane, I remembered-was listening to music, earbuds and all. Part of me wondered if she'd even hear me, or if she'd just walk right past me instead. Then I stopped that train of thought, because I was clearly trying to find excuses to get out of this.
I had to fight the urge to slap myself. I mean, come on, get a grip Hyoudou. You literally survived a giant, three-headed space dragon lighting up your entire neighborhood with gravity beams when you were ten last lifetime, and you even walked away from that back then. You can talk to a gorgeous girl, you fucking dumbass.
"Ahem! Excuse me?" I called out once I'd gotten to the top, and she was just a handful of feet away.
"Hmm?" the pinkette blinked, eyes seemingly flashing as she turned to me. She nervously pulled her earbuds out and stared at me. "Um…h-how can I help you?"
Damn, even her voice sounded nice. Welp, let's see how this goes~!
"...Do you have a pencil?"
Tamane seemed to be taken aback. "E-Eh? A pencil? W-Why?!"
I gave her a sweet grin and winked at her. "Because I want to erase your past, and write our future~!"
The pinkette quickly turned bright red at this. "E-Eh?!"
…Ah hell, she's getting mad. Then again, that wasn't technically a no. And I was too deep now to pull out, heh~!
"You know, my doctor says I'm deficient in something called 'Vitamin U'~!" I pointed at her with a finger-gun while giving her a wink.
"I-I-I don't-"
"So, do you have a name? Or should I just keep calling you mine~?" I said breathily, giving her yet another wink.
"I-I have a prior engagement! Please e-excuse me!" the pinkette shouted loudly before barreling past me faster than I could react.
"Ah, okay then~! Sorry to bother you!" I shrugged as she ran off. "Huh, it's just like Motohama…said…oh, shit!"
I stared as she ran off. I would have loved to say that I was enjoying staring at her ass, but said ass-despite being more appealing for it-had nine luxurious, silver-furred tails extending from it. A pair of large, pointed, fluffy ears sat atop her head, they were flattened as she ran but still twitching slightly. Her arms and legs, from just above the elbows and knees, were covered in that same silver fur all the way to her paw-like hands and feet. She flashed back to a proper human shape within the same second I saw it, but I'd caught it just at the last moment.
"Oh…oh, I'm so fucked!" I hissed under my breath. "Obaachan is gonna have a field day with this. I can already hear her laughing at me~!"
"Holy shit! I can't believe you actually did that!" Matsuda called out as he approached me. "She's supposed to be impossible to talk to, right? You actually managed to get three lines off~! Isashi-sensei! Teach me your ways!"
"Please, tell us how to do the unthinkable! Teach us to harness your powers!" Motohama cried out tearfully as he ran up the hill.
"You guys know that 'Pick up lines for Dummies' is at your local library, right? You can check out volumes 1-3 for free," I pointed out. "Why the fuck would you need my help?"
"Don't bitch at us!" Issei pointed at me fiercely. "You're hogging volume 4 to yourself, you dick!"
"Well, yeah, that's because I bought it," I deadpanned as I strode towards them. "Online orders are great~! You can get just about anything."
"Hey, but this is a big thing! Tamane is one of the most beautiful girls in the school, Isashi! And every guy who's ever tried to confess to her couldn't even get past his opening speech." The bespectacled boy frowned at me. "There's no way this won't get out. Even if Tamane herself doesn't talk, she's bound to have friends. Hell, was anybody else up here?"
"...Some girls at the tennis court," I mumbled.
"Then the rest of the school's gonna know. Every guy is gonna be jealous that you even spoke to her for that long! Especially those guys who failed to confess to her."
"...Ah, and? What, you're saying they'll hate me or something? Pfft, let them~!" I shrugged at Motohama's surprised look. "They're the least of my worries."
Yeah, the least. If she was a Zenko, then depending on her rank, I might've just pissed off Inari in some way. So the best option was to go to the nearest shrine and give an offering to beg for forgiveness. Maybe the other Kitsune would take pity on me and put in a good word-maybe Tamane herself, if she was a Zenko.
But the fact that she was hiding among humans meant she probably wasn't a 'good fox'. If she was a Yako, I was screwed. No association with Inari, the so-called wild kitsune were fickle and flighty. And if she was a ninetails, she was about a thousand times more powerful and deadlier than a simple-looking fox with some hat tricks. She was likely to take offense that I, a lowly human, had deigned to even speak to her, let alone flirt with her.
…Wait, was she even a highschooler? Kitsune gained tails based on age, right?
I mean, not like I could even question that without painting a target on my back. No, I just gotta give an offering to a local shrine and hope my bases are covered. Except, if she talks to the other Yokai in school, she might find out I can 'possibly' see the true forms of Yokai. So she'll definitely see me as a possible threat. The only thing I can do is act like everything is normal, and ignore any suspicious stuff when I see it-
"Oi! Nii-san?! You okay?!"
"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was just deep in thought," I hummed as I turned to my brother. "Maybe too deep. I'm overthinking a few things, that's all."
"Well, come on! We've gotta get to class!" A dumb grin spread across Issei's face as he grabbed me. "We're totally heading to that history class with all the hotties. The teacher's got that stern businesswoman air, but she's a total babe~!"
I clicked my teeth in exasperation. "Heh, yeah, she's hot, alright."
Let's just hope the next girl I chat up can't murder me.
At the end of history class, we ended up having another encounter. Thankfully, it wasn't an incensed nine-tailed fox out for my blood. No, this was another seemingly normal student, albeit one who was very unhappy with us.
She was a somewhat short girl wearing the normal school uniform. Her face was very cute, with a small nose and nice cheekbones, her neck-length hair was pure white, and her eyes were a light sea-green. She was fairly stacked, with healthy-looking thighs and very nice hips to match her large breasts.
She was also pissed. She was probably a lot more pissed that I was ogling her, but I could care less. I was making a vow today that I'd stop 'denying' my perverted tendencies to myself, especially since I was already a dead man walking. Best to enjoy what I can before I'm spirited away by Yokai-maybe I'll get a river dragon girlfriend to match Chihiro's river dragon boyfriend.
A guy can dream, can't he?
"Hyoudou Isashi?" The girl asked flatly.
"Yo? How can I help you?" I replied.
"My name is Hanakai Momo. I'm a Secretary of Student Council."
"...Okay, look! If something happened, it wasn't me. And if they say it was, they're lying." I sat up and tilted my head. "And if they say they have proof, it was my evil twin that did it."
Issei, only a seat away, chuckled. "Hah! Yeah, it was his evil-Oi! The fuck does that mean?!"
Hanakai's left eye twitched at this. "That is not the issue I came to talk to you about. As a member of Student Council, it's my duty to ensure poor behavior is corrected."
"...Uh-huh? And?"
"I would like to understand why you and your associates!" the white-haired girl motioned to the rest of the perverted quartet. "Think it's appropriate to stare and gawk at girls while in class, myself included. Do you really think that's a wise decision?"
I leaned back thoughtfully at her words. "Is it a wise decision? Nah, probably not. Is it a fun decision? Yeah, definitely," I shrugged as I turned back to face the girl. "I don't feel bad about looking at attractive girls. I don't feel ashamed for doing so."
"So you think that's more important than focusing on history class?" Hanakai asked coldly. "Do you not care about history?"
"Of course I care about history. I think looking back in history is important." I nodded, smiling at the girl's confused look. "After all, you can find some funny stuff that happened way back in the day. And it's good to be educated on the past so that you don't make the same mistakes in the present."
"If that's how you feel, why are you choosing to ogle me instead of focusing on history class?!"
"...Because I know enough about history, but I don't know enough about you~!" I said with a playful wink.
There were several 'oohs' and gasps from many of the other students. Hanakai quickly grew angry, at least if I went by how red her face was and how much she was stammering. After a few seconds, the white-haired girl took a deep breath and glared at me.
"Pay attention in class, damn it!" She squeaked out before turning and walking away abruptly.
"Yeah, sure thing?" I shrugged.
"No fucking way!"
"Did he just flirt with her?"
"That bastard? He's a total perv, though, same as the other three."
"Didn't you hear? I heard he flirted with Tamane-chan!"
"Wait, what? But she's supposed to be impossible to confess to?"
"Not confess, flirted! I don't know how he did it!"
"Dude, didn't I tell you?" Motohama whispered. "People are already talking."
"Like I said, least of my worries," I told the bespectacled boy.
Maybe having a bunch of guys threatening me will make the Yokai back off?
Eh, who am I kidding? Best to just keep finding options to keep myself alive…
"Agh! Issei?! Why?!"
"Because you two were hogging the peep-hole! You can't expect me to let that slide!"
"You maniac! You've doomed us! Now we'll never get to look into the peep-hole again!"
"You know, you probably shouldn't have talked about the 'peep-hole' if you didn't want to lose access to it?" the captain of the Girl's Kendo club offered. "In fact, not mentioning it at all would've been the smart move in general. You might've been able to bullshit your way out of this."
"C-Captain? Why are you defending them?!" Murayama cried out.
"You can't actually be sympathizing with these perverts?!" Katase chimed in.
"I'm not! I'm just pointing out that this is completely their own fault~!" the current captain of the girl's kendo club chuckled. "I'm kinda surprised they thought it was a good idea to peep on us. Are you masochists or something?"
"No! No we're not!" both Motohama and Matsuda cried in unison.
"I dunno, maybe?" Issei said dumbly.
Both the other two boys and every girl looming over them turned their gazes to the brunette in concern and, surprisingly, curiosity. Issei returned it with a confused stare before shrugging, a dopey grin tugging at his lips.
"It's not like I'm getting off on it! But, like, girls who can totally kick my ass are way more desirable to me~!"
"Heh…I don't know, I kinda get it~!" the captain hummed.
The other two boys looked around the building, near the bushes, even towards the closeby path, desperately hoping to find an escape. Murayama and Katase spotted this, both lightly smacking their shinai into their palms as they stalked forward.
"What, do you two think you can get out of this?!" the brunette growled.
"You're not getting away!" the pinkette agreed. "You two better take your lumps!"
"Oh god! Please, please spare us!" the two boys cried out.
"Okay, look, just not the face! I'll let you hit me anywhere but the face…and below the belt," Issei suddenly started sweating at the dark looks the girls were giving him. "I'm in no position to negotiate, am I?"
"Probably not~!" the captain teased.
"Wait!" a voice called out.
"Huh?" the captain tilted her head as a boy identical to Issei stalked out of the bushes. "Well, isn't this interesting? Were you also peeping?"
"Hell no! I'm a total perv too, but I've never needed to peep a day in my life. I'm just here to save my idiot," the boy turned his head towards Issei with a tired look. "You got beat up by the track club last week, and you're still doing this? Come on, man!"
"Nii-san! Help me!" Issei whined.
"Isashi! Run away! They'll skin you alive!" Motohama cried out.
"Okay, look, can you go a little bit easier on him? I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve it, honest!" Isashi said placatingly upon receiving the vicious looks the girls gave him. "I'm just saying that he only has so many brain cells. And if he loses anymore, my mother will pin that on me."
"Oi, fuck you!" Issei cried out.
"How 'bout I promise to take them to Student Council to sort them out? They get a strike on them, and everybody is happy," Isashi offered gently. "We don't have to resort to violence."
"We absolutely have to resort to violence!" Murayama growled angrily. "Sona-kaichou will just let them off with another warning. We're handling this now!"
"I don't know. Maybe we could hear him out? He's at least trying to keep this from getting out of hand," the club captain mused.
"Do you just not care?!" another girl cried out.
"Hmm, nah~! I'm graduating at the end of the year. I'm just waiting to see who I can pass this off to," the captain snorted at the incredulous looks the other girls were giving her, before turning to Isashi with an exasperated grin. "Still, they're not wrong~! You're saying that you'll handle them, but can you actually control them? Big talk, nothing to back it up~!"
"Ah, so I'm guessing convincing you to back down is off the table?"
"Fetch me their souls~!" one of the girls hissed angrily.
"You have one chance to leave before we decide you're a problem as well," Murayama hissed.
"Welp…guess there's only one thing I can do~!" Isashi cracked his neck before giving the brunette a smoldering look. "Can I tie your shoes~?"
"...T-Tie my shoes?!" Murayama balked at the boy's words. "Why the hell would you ask me that?!"
Isashi simply smirked and gave her a wink. "Because I don't want you falling for anyone else~!"
"Ow! Motherfucker! I don't get why she hit me so hard!" I grumbled while nursing the budding goose egg on my scalp. "I mean, sure, she looked pretty pissed, but still. I wasn't the one peeping."
"Why are you looking at us when you say that?" Motohama asked worriedly.
"Gee, I wonder why I could be looking at you three. Can't be any fucking reason~! It's such a fucking mystery!"
"Alright, we get it! Gee, you're getting snippy today," Issei grumbled while rubbing his own injured head. "Yeah, Murayama was more pissed at you for some reason. Her face was all red and stuff."
"Yeah, that's kinda par for the course at this point. Izuho and Hanakai were pissed at me too, remember? They were all red-faced and whatnot," I shrugged, wincing slightly as the movement seemed to exasperate my wounded cranium. "Eh, I guess not all of my pickup lines are winners, huh?"
"I dunno. I thought they should've worked," Matsuda mused.
I hummed while standing to my feet and looking around. We were just behind one of the school fields, and nobody else was close enough to hear us. I stretched my arms out and clicked my teeth as I turned to the other three.
"Well, the obvious idea is that I'll just keep using them. I'll go up to different single girls and shoot them pickup lines until one of them finally gets reeled in~!" I said determinedly while pumping a fist into the air. "You know that saying 'there's plenty of fish in the sea'? Well, we jumped straight into the damn ocean, didn't we? Might as well start fishing!"
"Nii-san! You're so amazing!" Issei cheered tearfully.
"Hell yeah! If I suffered so much rejection in one day, I'd never be able to go on!" Matsuda chimed in.
"Truly you're a different breed, Isashi-sempai~!" Motohama cried out. "No other man could ever survive that much failure! I wish I could know how you did it!"
I felt my right eye twitch, and I swore I had a bead of sweat dripping down my face. "Eh, that's a trade secret, guys. If you can't understand it, I can't help you…"
Hey, what the fuck am I supposed to say? 'Oh, just survive a couple city-wide attacks from the God of Destruction and the Golden Demise each, and then die in a normal fucking building collapse'. Certainly not possible now for the former two, and they're not likely to take the serious advice of 'go die' very well.
"Come on, man! You've gotta throw us a bone!" my brother whined. "How do you do it?! How can you not just freeze up like an idiot?!"
"...Because I'm not one?" I offered.
"That's not good enough!"
"Would you three settle down?!" I sighed tiredly. "I'll see if I can help you in between training. Kai-sensei said renovations aren't out for another month or so, so just quit your…whining…"
The reason I trailed off was because I noticed her. She seemed to be ignoring us as she walked by, but I couldn't look away. She was a foreign girl I hadn't met before, but who I'd seen once or twice speaking to Sona-kaichou. She was another girl with 'female lead' energy.
And she was absolutely gorgeous. She had back-length blonde hair with some of her bangs covering one eye, leaving her right eye uncovered. It was like looking into a pool of shimmering sapphire that seemed to glow with oceanic light. Her face was slender and well-formed. She had a cute nose, long eyelashes, and full lips with a small pout.
She was also just generally beautiful. She matched Tamane in hip size, with equally nice thighs and a very fine waist. While they weren't as big as Tamane's, her breasts were certainly some of the biggest I'd seen. Even her uniform was visibly straining to contain her bust. I felt like I couldn't look away.
Yeah, no, I really am a total pervert. And I'm not ashamed, because damn.
As the gorgeous blonde passed me, I felt her sole visible eye turning to me.
I…I don't know how to describe it. After what happened three months ago, most girls would just be annoyed or disgusted when they looked my way. But this girl was actually sizing me up. She was looking at me almost curiously. I felt like she was searching me for something. Her eye was narrowing in a way that made it seem like she was waiting for something to happen.
The ocean rumbled. A growl echoed through the depths. The waters churned-
For a split second, I swore that her blue eye shifted into a vibrant, ruby red that seemed to glow with power. Then it was gone, back to being a normal blue, all while my plus-one seemed to rouse only to fade back to his slumber. The strange interaction only lasted for a second as the girl passed, but it was enough.
She let out a small hum as she went on her way. The entire time, I kept staring at her as she left. Not simply because she was a very beautiful girl, but…because…like, what the hell just happened?
"No fucking way! Was she checkin' you out?!" Issei gasped.
"I can't believe it! Two in one day? Isashi-kun, how the hell do you do it?!" Motohama gasped out.
"Eh? What are you talking about?" I turned to the bespectacled boy.
"Oi, Motohama! Who was she?" Matsuda smacked the other boy on the back. "C'mon man, you gotta remember to give us the deets!"
"Her name is Anne Monette, 105/60/96. She's one of the hot foreign-exchange students, and she's another member of the 'Great Onee-samas of Kuoh'," Motohama adjusted his glasses as he turned towards the slowly departing blonde. "She's also supposed to be the leader of the Cultural Heritage Club. And, apparently, the de facto leader of the Martial Arts Club."
"Wait, for real?!" I leaned towards the bespectacled boy curiously. "Like…is she actually a good fighter?"
"Oh, hell no! Don't you dare!" Issei suddenly growled. "I know you, Nii-san! The only thing you love more than babes is a good fight! It's why you always signed up for tournaments and went crazy training for them!" my brother pointed at me accusatorily. "Like hell I'm letting the rest of the school find out you're a crazy battle junkie!"
"Oh, so that's your standard? I can't expect you to not peep for the whole first week, but you can expect me to not want a good match?" I clicked my teeth in annoyance, only to see Matsuda's worried look. "Oi, what?!"
"Well…you do kinda get too into fighting, man. I just did MMA for the exercise," the bald boy shrugged.
"Motohama? What do you got for me?" I continued, ignoring the other two boys.
"I actually don't know if she can fight well. But she is in the Martial Arts Club, so she had to be chosen as leader for a reason," the bespectacled boy tilted his head curiously. "The only thing I know is that the old leader graduated and left things in disarray. A bunch of people quit before Monette had to take over."
"...Hmm. She doesn't seem like one of them," I mused quietly.
"Eh? What are you talking about?" Motohama asked nervously.
"Nothing you guys need to worry over!" I waved him off. "Just thinking to myself…"
Anne Monette wasn't a Yokai, or at least she didn't feel like one. I would've seen through her disguise if that were the case. But she wasn't normal, that much was certain. And for some reason, my tenant wasn't pleased by whatever vibes she was giving off.
Just what the hell was going on at this school?
Issei RN: "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me!"
That's not actually real or based on anything in canon, that's just me making a joke/meme.
...He does let himself get beaten up a lot by girls in canon though. Coincidence?
Every girl the MC rizzed up in this chapter is gonna be a haremette, and any he rizzes up in subsequent chapters will join him. I tested out all pickup lines on Vtubers, or watched other people test them out on Vtubers, or watched Vtubers react to them. So all of MC's pickup lines are Vtuber certified, you can count on it.
Anne is just Andora in disguise, since albinos can't really go around in public without getting stares. The reaction from Godzilla is because she ended up using her power to influence sea monsters to search him out. Paimon, in "Liber Officiorum Spirituum", can control fish, and in Catholicism fish can include shit like beavers and alligators and capybara. So I translated that to having one of the Paimon Clan's powers be 'tame/control/influence sea monsters'. Of course, that won't work on Godzilla, obviously, but it will get a reaction out of him-unless you're bringing out alien tech, controlling Godzilla is impossible.
Tamane is based on Tamamo-no-mae from Fate, but with a bigger bust and hipline (I think I based her sizes on Azur Lane/NIKKE characters?). For some IRL Kitsune lore, she's a Kinko, a type of Zenko (good fox) in service of Dakiniten, a Buddhist deity who's often conflated with Inari. The reason her disguise managed to fool Isashi is because she wasn't using Yojutsu, but rather demonic power for her disguise due to the fact that she's a reincarnated devil-after all, I mentioned that Andora had peerage members in the school along with normal Yokai, so there's a bit of a sneak peek for that.
Now then, onto the reviews.
Some1call4MR-E: From what I understand in the main series, the trio are rarely caught and manage to just skirt the line-they do a 'look don't touch' kinda thing. I ended up reading through a bunch of threads on SB about how they'd probably be expelled in most situations, but then this is Anime and this trope shows up a lot. As for the whole 'Protag becoming devil' thing...I'll get into it. For Rias, I'm trying to portray her as nuanced, and tbf, she was in a fucked situation. Her parents literally sold her, maybe because their kids would be guaranteed super-devils, maybe because they wanted to have a way to influence the Phenex clan and prevent them from going over to the Old Satan faction, who knows (lots of fanon speculation on SB), but they basically set her up to fail. As for the 'horndog' thing...she's with Issei, she eclipses his horny with her own. I'm gonna have to include it, but it won't be her whole personality.
Dr. RK: I'm glad that you enjoy the fic. So, to be fair-and I'm gonna give Riverflow2020 the same credit-the alternatives in Senjutsu, Ki, and Touki are definitely unique possibilities I could consider. For Ki, I'll need to hit a lot of fanon stuff to actually see how that works, and for Touki...eh, I'll consider it. Touki specifically involves tapping into the user's own life-force, which is the opposite of good when you're feeding an energy consuming Kaiju, it'll never be enough.
Riverflow2020: Like I said for Dr. RK, you're right that Isashi could use Senjutsu, Ki, and other ways to feed Godzilla. And yes, there are some points where there are holes in the idea that becoming a devil would 'fix' the issue with his G-Cells burning him out. I could've explained a lot of it better. But at the same time...I didn't want to just write a fic where there's a human/Kaiju hybrid breaking everything in sight. MC's not gonna automatically be super OP until after he activates his Sacred Gear-I even have a fight written next chapter where he loses. I have an outline that I made and I've been following, this is kind of just how I wrote a bunch of it. It was always kind of the plan to do it like that, so I don't have any way of outright changing it without messing up how I wanted it to go.
For anybody whose interested, you can check out my P a treon. Unfortunately, FF. Net doesn't do the links well, so you'll have to close the spaces below/rewrite it slightly on your browser.
P a treon. com(slash) Locksoli
As always, please leave any thoughts, questions, and constructive criticism in your reviews. And thank you for reading.