Chapter 16

The air grew colder as the months passed, and before she knew it, it was winter again. Which meant one thing—no more ocean and no more swimming. At least this time she had Gina by her side once a month. Things were starting to get tense between her and Killian since he slapped her in the face, and yet he continued to act like it never happened. They never talked about the slight abuse, and he walked around like he was the king of the world. Her only saving grace was working at Granny's and the full moon nights she spent with Gina. She seemed to work nonstop, and with Ruby's help, she was able to save money in a bank account in Ruby's name, that way Killian couldn't take it. She trusted Ruby with her money more than she trusted Killian with anything.

"Come in, Miss Swan!" Doctor Hopper said, inviting Eleanore into his office. "It's nice to see you again. It's been a while."

"Yeah, sorry, Doc. I've been busy. Working a lot," Eleanore explained as she settled into her usual spot on the couch.

"You certainly are a hard worker, that's for sure," Doctor Hopper said, sitting in his usual chair, picking up her notepad, ready to take notes. "How have you been doing?" he asked, as they started their session.

"I've been alright. Winter is always a hard time for me," Eleanore explained, looking down at her hands.

"Because the cold weather keeps you away from the water?"

"Yeah," she said, sadly. "Which is why I try to work as much as I can at Granny's. To keep my mind off the fact that I can't be in the water. That and, since Killian isn't working at all, I'm expected to pay all the bills during the winter months."

"He doesn't help with any of the bills?" Doctor Hopper asked, jotting something down on his notepad.

"No. He just sits around and drinks beer while I bust my ass working all day. But I have to admit, I secretly like it better that way. I don't have to deal with him all day and get to work with my best friends."

"So things at home with Killian have not improved since the last time we spoke?"

"Not really. He hasn't hit me again, and he hasn't been mad enough to do so. And most nights, I sleep on the couch now. Truthfully, I can't sleep when he's next to me, so I end up on the couch."

"Before we go any further, I have to ask the question—do you feel safe at home with Mr. Jones?" Doctor Hopper asked.

"Yeah. He's never done anything else except slapping me that one time," Eleanore said. She knew she shouldn't lie to her therapist by neglecting to tell him about the time Killian refused to wear a condom. But it wasn't a big deal anymore. He hasn't done it since, and she took care of the situation by getting an IUD implanted to prevent pregnancy if it happened again.

"I'm glad to hear that. Please know, if you ever don't feel safe with him, you can always come to me."

"Thanks, Doc. I know I can go to friends too if that ever happens. I'm alright, I promise." Eleanore smiled.

"Good to hear. Now, would you like to talk about why you can't sleep when he's next to you?" Doctor Hopper asked.

"I think…" Eleanore took a deep breath. She knew exactly why she couldn't sleep next to Killian. "I think…no, I know …the reason is because there is someone else I would rather be sleeping next to…" she said, once again gazing down at her hands.

"The same young lady you were telling me about? Gina?"

"Yeah…Gina…" Eleanore said, trying to hide the large smile that formed at the sound of her name.

"Is there a way that you could move in with her instead of living with Mr. Jones? It sounds like you would be much happier with her," Doctor Hopper said.

"It's…complicated," Eleanore said. "She lives in a place that I can't live in."

"Is she alright? Is she in a complicated relationship as well? Is she safe?" Doctor Hopper asked, firing questions.

"Yes, she's fine. No complicated relationships. And no, she's not married. Just a different type of living situation, that's all."

"That's good to hear as well," Doctor Hopper said, jotting something down on his notepad before asking another question. "And things are still going well between the two of you? Besides the complicated living situations?"

"Yeah. Everything is great. Excellent even! Honestly, she's the only thing keeping me sane during these winter months." Eleanore smiled.

"That's fantastic!" Doctor Hopper smiled, scribbling something else down. "Okay. Before we finish up here, I'd like to discuss your memories again. Have you had any new memories since the last time we spoke?" Doctor Hopper asked.

"No. Nothing since I had a dream that we decided to have children," Eleanore said, her mood once again falling, trying to hold back tears. "I'm starting to think that maybe these dreams aren't memories at all, that maybe that's all they are, just dreams. That maybe my brain is still trying to figure out what happened, so it's creating these dreams as a way to visualize its desire."

"Do you really believe that?" Doctor Hopper asked. Eleanore only shrugged as her eyes fell on her hands again. "It is definitely possible that your brain could make up these scenarios to fill in the gaps of its missing memory. However, the vivid nature of the dreams as you describe them makes me believe that these dreams are, in fact, memories."

"That makes things even worse, Doc," Eleanore said sadly.

"Why's that?" he asked.

"Because that means there's someone out there that loves me. Someone who asked me to marry them. Someone who wanted to have children with me. But they aren't here. They're gone. And Gina's here now. How can I be with Gina and commit to her, when I know there's someone else out there. If I knew this person didn't exist, it wouldn't be a problem," Eleanore said sadly.

"And you still don't know the identity of this person?"

"Don't you think I would have been looking for her if I knew who she was?" Eleanore snapped, causing the Doctor to jump slightly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm sorry."

"It's quite alright. I understand your frustration."

"I still can't see her face in my dreams. I can feel her in my arms, I can hear her voice, but I can't see her face. She's brunette though, that much I do know." Eleanore chuckled slightly. "That's why I'm starting to think…to hope that maybe she's not real."

"Do you really think she's not real?" Doctor Hopper asked.

"No…I'm pretty sure she's real, no matter how much I try to convince myself that she's not."

"When your mind is ready, everything will come back to you. Have faith and be patient. Everything will work itself out," Doctor Hopper said, giving Eleanore another one of his hope speeches.

"I wish my brain will hurry the heck up. It's been almost seven years. How much more time does it need?" she asked, sighing, defeated.

"I know it's frustrating, but we need to move slowly. If we push you too much, we could cause more serious mental health issues to occur."

"There's something worse than forgetting your entire life?"

"Believe me, there are far worse things to be dealing with than long-term amnesia," Doctor Hopper said, looking at the time. "Unfortunately, our session is coming to an end. Try to keep writing in your journal. We'll get there. Just keep being patient and try not to push yourself."

"Okay. Can I make another appointment? I promise I'll try to keep it this time." She laughed.

"I'm going to hold you to it, Miss Swan." Doctor Hopper chuckled as he pulled out his computer to book Eleanore's next appointment.

Eleanore tightened her coat around her body as she walked out of Doctor Hopper's office, making her way to Granny's for her lunch shift. She stopped at the entrance to the beach when an idea struck her mind. She rushed onto the snow-covered beach, making her way toward the cold ocean. She pulled off her gloves and unhooked her leather cuff, quickly pulling out the small purple shell hidden inside.

"I miss you so much, Gina," she whispered over the shell before throwing it with all her might into the water in front of her. She waited a few moments, just in case something happened and the shell floated back to her, before turning around and walking back toward town.

She made it to work just in time for her shift to begin, jumping right into the lunch rush. She liked working with Ruby; they always had fun when they worked together. So much fun that she didn't realize when her shift was over and it was time to leave.

"Excited for girls night tonight?" Ruby winked as Eleanore stuffed her tips into her pocket.

"Every time," Eleanore said, blushing slightly.

"Have a good night. Tell your lady I want to meet her soon," Ruby said as Eleanore grabbed her dinner order.

"Will do," she said. She threw on her coat and bag and headed toward the door, eager to make it to the beach. As she put her hands in the pockets of her coat to search for her beanie, she felt a small hard object graze her fingertips. She smiled, knowing exactly what it was, waiting until she was outside to pull it out of her pocket.

Once she reached their cave, she reached inside and grabbed the familiar shell, as the sound of Gina's voice rang in her ears. "I miss you too, Eleanore. I'll see you soon." Eleanore smiled at the sound of Gina's voice, knowing it was only a matter of time before Gina would be there, and everything would be alright again.

She rushed to set everything up, adding an extra blanket to the pile knowing that the forecast called for snow later, meaning it would be extra cold. She made sure to buy extra wood from the local sporting goods store, to make sure the fire was a little larger than usual in an attempt to warm the freezing cave even more. When the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon, she ran out of the preheated cave toward the water, scanning the surface for signs of Gina. She smiled so wide when she saw Gina's head pop up through the water. After a small wave, Gina dove under once more, surfacing much closer this time, pausing as her legs began to form. Eleanore chuckled when she saw Gina take a shaky step toward the shore, knowing the Nenriel needed a moment to adjust to having two legs. As soon as she stood out of the water, her skin began to shiver in the freezing cold air.

Eleanore ran toward her, boots splashing in the water as she reached Gina, scooping her up into her arms quickly. "You're okay," Eleanore whispered as she ran toward the warm cave, carrying Gina's shivering body in her arms. As soon as they reached the cave, Eleanore put Gina back down, her feet standing on a small hand towel that Eleanore had placed near the fire, so Gina didn't have to stand directly on the cold ground.

"Let's get you dried off." Eleanore reached for the stack of dry towels she left close to the fire, in an attempt to warm them slightly. "You're going to be alright. I promise," she said as she started drying every inch of Gina's body, making sure to not leave a single drop of water on her perfect skin. She wrapped Gina's hair in another towel before helping her step into a pair of warm sweatpants and pulling a warm hoodie over her cold skin. Tossing the wet towel to the side, she grabbed one of the extra blankets and wrapped it tightly around Gina's still shivering body, picking her up once again and sitting her down in front of the fire to warm up. "I brought you a pair of socks too." Eleanore gently grabbed Gina's legs, pulling the warm wool socks onto her ice cold feet.

"Thanks." Gina Smiled, wiggling her toes inside the thick socks, marveling at the new sensation.

"How's that?" she asked, gently rubbing Gina's arms over the blanket to attempt to generate more heat.

"Better. Much better," she said, her shivers slowly decreasing. "Thank you." Gina smiled.

"You don't ever need to thank me, my love," Eleanore said, kissing Gina sweetly.

"I missed you," Gina said, wrapping her blanket around Eleanore as well, humming slightly when she felt Eleanore's body next to her.

"I missed you too." Eleanore wrapped her arm around Gina's body under the blanket, settling closer to her. "Before we forget," Eleanore said, fiddling with her cuff, pulling out Gina's yellow shell, handing it back to her. Gina took it and exchanged the yellow shell for her purple shell in her small pouch she wore on her wrist, handing the purple one back to Eleanore, who promptly placed it back in the secret pocket for safety.

They settled back in next to each other, Eleanore pulling the blanket tighter around them as Gina rested her head on her shoulder.

"Are you still cold?" Eleanore asked after a few moments of silence.

"A little," Gina said truthfully.

"Here, let's eat." Eleanore reached for the isolated bag near the fire that contained their dinner. "This is Granny's famous chili. It's hearty and guaranteed to warm your bones," Eleanore said, pulling out two containers of warm chili, handing Gina one along with a plastic fork. "And an order of fries, since they are your favorite."

"I do love fries," Gina said, grabbing a few fries and popping them in her mouth.

"And to warm us even more, a big thermos of hot chocolate. But like the real stuff, made with melted chocolate and milk, not that instant crap." She laughed as she poured two small cups of hot chocolate.

"You're so thoughtful." Gina smiled, taking a mouthful of chili, feeling the last bits of chill disappear as soon as the warm food met her stomach.

They ate together, finishing every last bit of chili and hot chocolate. Gina even had three cups of the warm chocolate drink. Eleanore cleaned everything up quickly and settled next to Gina, eager to start the next portion of their evening. As usual, their lips found each other as if drawn to each other like a magnet. Neither of them knew when or how it happened, but somehow they eventually ended up laying down, their hands already roaming under each other's hoodies, seeking that soft warm skin hiding beneath. Gina pulled away suddenly just as Eleannore's hand reached her breast, massaging it gently.

"Hey…" Gina said, attempting to catch her breath, her voice sounding slightly nervous. "Do you mind if we…ummm…if we don't have sex tonight?"

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry," Eleanore exclaimed, panic filling her senses as she pulled her hand away from under Gina's shirt. "I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you? Did I make you feel uncomfortable? Are you okay?" Eleanore asked, firing multiple questions at Gina.

"Oh no! You didn't do anything wrong," Gina said, reaching for Eleanore's hand, moving it back around her body, letting Eleanore know she wanted her to hold her. "I love making love with you! Always! It's just that…after we are done, we both usually fall asleep because we're exhausted. And then, before we know it, it's morning and I have to leave. We don't get to spend much time just being together…" Gina said, shyly.

"I know," Eleanore said, pulling Gina closer.

"I was thinking that maybe we could…ummm…maybe we could do an old Nenriel tradition…if you want to, that is…" Gina said, shyly.

"Of course. We can do any Nenriel tradition you want! I want to know everything there is to know about your culture," Eleanore said, causing a bright smile on Gina's face.

"So, like I said, most of our traditions and culture stems from the ancient Elves. And in Elven culture, their hair was a symbol of strength and wisdom and social standing. As Nenriel, we do not cut our hair, unless something very tragic happens, such as the death or loss of a loved one. Those who lose their Meldas will keep their hair short for the rest of their lives to show that they are in eternal mourning," Gina explained.

"You cut your hair when you lost your partner, didn't you?" Eleanore asked.

"Yes. I cut it when she was taken from me. But since we were not fully bonded, I allowed it to continue to grow after, although I still mourned her absence. I was going to cut it again…and then I met you," Gina explained. Eleanore smiled and ran her fingers through her damp hair, separating the strands as best as she could. "Once a couple is bonded, they braid their hair, to let others know they have committed to each other. Part of the bonding ceremony is the braiding of each other's hair. Then, once they are together officially, they will braid each other's hair every morning as a symbol of devotion to each other."

"That's beautiful," Eleanore whispered as small tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.

"The first night a couple spends together, before they are bonded, there is an unofficial tradition they perform. We can't have sex until we are bonded, but our first night with a potential partner can still be very special. The young couple will braid each other's hair as if they were already bonded, as a symbol of their promise to each other. It's a way for them to show each other they are serious about a future with each other. Then they spend the rest of the night just laying with each other, getting to know how their bodies fit together, oftentimes in silence, until they fall asleep in each other's arms. And in the morning, they undo their braids so no one else sees, although everyone knows that they do it," Gina explained. Eleanore smiled back at her. "I know it's far from our first night together, but…I was thinking that maybe we could do that…to show…ummm….to show…" Gina started to say, stuttering around the words.

"…to show how we feel about each other, without being intimate." Eleanore smiled, finishing Gina's sentence. "I would be honored to." Eleanore smiled, causing Gina's eyes to well with tears. "I forgot to bring a hairbrush though," Eleanore said, frowning slightly.

"It's okay. I brought a comb," Gina said, reaching for the small pouch she brought with her.

"I thought you said you didn't have a comb." Eleanore laughed.

"I may have lied." Gina smiled devilishly. "This was given to us…to me as a…" Gina started to say as she pulled out the small silver comb.

"This was a bonding gift for you and your part…Melda…wasn't it?" Eleanore asked. Gina nodded. "Gina. This is too important to share with me. It's something meant for someone special," Eleanore said, resting her hand on Gina's arm.

"You're very special to me, Eleanore. I want to share this with you." Gina gently cupped Eleanore's face. "When will you understand how much you mean to me?" she asked, sadness filling her voice.

"I'm working on it…" Eleanore answered.

"Then I'll just have to keep reminding you." Gina smiled, rubbing her thumb across Eleanore's cheek. Although her lips didn't speak, Eleanore's eyes spoke volumes. "Turn around. The oldest braids first," Gina said. Eleanore sat up, reaching for her bag.

"I think I might have a spare hair tie in my bag," she said.

"No need. We traditionally use pieces of a sacred vine that grows on just about every wall in the palace," Gina said, pulling out two long pieces of vine.

"That's pretty cool," Eleanore said, inspecting the soft yet strong vine.

Gina gently began to comb out Eleanore's long blonde hair, making sure each strand was free of knots and tangles before separating it into three equal-sized pieces. She slowly and softly began to weave the three pieces together, braiding Eleanore's long hair, securing it at the end by tying a piece of vine around the ends. She ran her fingers over the finished product, her heart pounding and her stomach fluttering.

"You okay?" Eleanore asked, looking at Gina over her shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Gina said, snapping out of her trance. "All finished."

"My turn!" Eleanore said excitedly. They switched positions and Eleanore began to gently detangle Gina's still damp hair, guiding the silver comb through all the tangles, being sure not to pull Gina's hair too much. Once she was satisfied that she had freed every strand of Gina's hair from knots and snarls, she separated the locks into three pieces and began to braid them. Gina's heart stopped and she held her breath as she felt Eleanore's fingers weaving her hair into a long braid. She held back tears when she felt Eleanore tie a piece of vine around the end, finishing her braid. "All done," Eleanore said, wrapping her arms around Gina's waist, resting her chin on Gina's shoulder.

"Thank you," Gina whispered, trying not to let Eleanore know there were tears falling from her face.

"Thank you for letting me share this tradition with you," Eleanore whispered, feeling Gina's stomach quiver as she silently cried. "I can never replace your Melda. But I am honored to be second place."

"You're never second place, Eleanore. You're…you're…" Gina said, stopping herself when she became too emotional to speak.

"Shh…it's okay. I understand." Eleanore smiled, placing a soft kiss on Gina's shoulder while she tightened her hold on the brunette. "Let me put some more wood on the fire, and then we can settle in together. That way we don't freeze."

She added more wood carefully and stoked the fire, warming the cave once more, before settling in next to Gina, wrapping their blankets around each other tightly. She made sure to position Gina closest to the fire, to ensure she didn't get cold again.

They settled down next to each other, their arms and legs tangling around the other as if trying to become one body. They laid together in silence, the only sound being the cracking fire beside them, their eyes fixed on one another, their bodies fitting together like two separated puzzle pieces.

"It's snowing," Eleanore whispered, so quietly Gina almost missed it.

"So it is," Gina whispered, looking over her shoulder briefly to look outside the cave.

"Watch the snow with me?" Eleanore asked. She hated the snow, with a passion. Snow represented winter, which was her least favorite time of the year. And yet, there was something about being in their cave together, with Gina in her arms, that made the snow falling from the sky so peaceful and magical as it blanketed the world with the soft powder. Gina smiled as she turned over in Elenaore's arms, drawing Eleanore's arm around her tighter, pulling Eleanore closer to her. The feeling of Eleanore's body pressed against her back made her heart skip a beat and a soft smile spread across her face. Eleanore placed a soft kiss on her neck, one not of a sexual nature, but one of complete love, letting Gina know she was there and that she wasn't going anywhere. Gina laced their fingers together as they laid together, Eleanore's warm breath tickling the back of her neck. They watched the snow blanket the beach with white powder as the fire slowly burned out, falling asleep in each other's arms long before the flames disappeared and left nothing but twinkling embers amongst the ash.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the mysterious woman asked, running her fingers through her hair.

"Of course I am," she said, smiling at the woman's hesitation. They were both nervous, but not because of uncertainty.

"This is a huge step. It's not a decision to be made in haste," the woman said.

"I know." She smiled. "You're my best friend. And I love you more than life itself," she said, cupping the woman's blank face. "There is no one on this planet that I would rather be with than you," she added. She could feel the woman's face twist into a warm smile under her hand. "Are you sure you want to do this? I won't force you to."

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life," the woman said, kissing her lips softly.

"Perfect," she said. She couldn't see the woman's face, but she knew she was smiling.

"Turn around, oldest braids first."

Eleanore woke up with a jolt. Just a moment ago, she was looking at the blank face of an unknown woman from her past. And now, Gina's soft brown eyes looked back at her, filled with love. It took Eleanore a few seconds to remember where she was and convince herself she wasn't still dreaming.

"Are you okay?" Gina asked, her eyebrow furrowing in concern.

"Yeah…I…I think so…" Eleanore said, trying to collect her thoughts.

"You're crying," Gina said, reaching to wipe away a tear.

"I…was dreaming…I think…" Eleanore said, still not completely recovered from what she was dreaming about.

"Are these happy tears or sad tears?" Gina asked, concern still present in her voice.

"Happy…I think…" Eleanore said, her mind slowly returning to the present.

"Good. Happy tears are acceptable," Gina said softly. "It's almost morning. Will you watch the sunrise with me?"

"Of course." Gina smiled as she sat up, knowing that if they stayed laying down they would both fall asleep again. Eleanore followed, sitting behind Gina, wrapping their blanket around their bodies once again.

Under the warmth of the blanket, Eleanore wrapped her arms and legs around Gina, holding her close, resting her chin on Gina's shoulder once again.

"Ni mel tye," Gina whispered, reaching for Eleanore's hands, lacing their fingers together.

"Still won't tell me what that means?" Eleanore laughed, already knowing the answer.

"You're not ready just yet. But I think you're getting close," Gina whispered. Eleanore kissed the side of her neck in agreement.

They sat in silence as they watched the sky brighten outside the cave, the morning sun reflecting off the freshly fallen snow.

"I have to go…" Gina said, once the sun was high in the sky. Their time had come to an end.

"I know…stay here for a second," she said sadly as she peeled herself away from her lover. Eleanore reluctantly pulled on her boots, lacing them up before pulling on her coat. She reached out her hand to help Gina stand, allowing the blanket to fall to the ground. She reached forward and slowly removed Gina's borrowed hoodie, tossing it aside before pushing Gina's sweatpants to the floor. She picked up the blanket and wrapped it around Gina's naked body, hoping to keep her warm a little longer.

Without saying a word, Eleanore scooped Gina up in her arms and began walking toward the water, holding Gina close to her body to keep her warm.

"I'll see you soon," Gina said as Eleanore's boots began to splash in the cold water.

"See you soon," Eleanore said, kissing Gina one last time. "Go quick. I don't want you to get cold," Eleanore added, putting Gina down into the water, pulling the blanket free.

Gina ran into the ocean quickly, diving under the first wave she could, submerging herself back into the water as fast as possible. Her head popped out of the water while her tail transformed, watching Eleanore as she stood on the cold beach, their previously shared blanket wrapped tightly around her. With one final wave and a blown kiss between them, Gina was gone. Eleanore sighed heavily. She missed Gina already, and she had only been gone a few moments.

A/N: Elvish words:

Nenriel: Water Maiden
Amil: Mother
Tatya: Second (as in second or non-biological mother)
Melda: Partner. Literally translates to "Beloved"
Ni mel tye: ?