Chapter Warning: Contains mentions of death and rape

Although she didn't know why, she decided to fight with both swords. Not using them as twin swords like her husband did but to just have another one at the ready if needed. So obviously it didn't look anything nearly as skilled or elegant as Fíli but still she found it was effective. They managed to split up the enemy, funnelling one group to the West, the other to East, the direction of Dale. At least she knew that there were no more people in Dale, especially not the defenceless ones like wounded, women or children. Fíli never let her out of his sight and was close to her as well, not letting her get away more than ten meters. But also his brother made sure to have an eye on her sometimes. She was touched that they were worried about her but she knew it was also because of the prophecy and that the sorrow was justified and she could be glad she even was allowed to fight. But then again it could be quite distracting and she couldn't focus some times when her husband needed to make sure and call out to her. Suddenly, her brother-in-law came over, pointing to the roofs of the city. She soon saw the Orcs that were positioned there, mainly archers but also the leader to whom they had been speaking already. So she knew what to do; killing him so that hopefully the rest of the army would flee.

"Fíli" she shouted and when he turned to her, probably worried something was wrong, she pointed at the Orc leader "I'll go up and get rid of him once and for all" Kíli agreed

"I'll go with you. But I'll stay down here, shooting some arrows" she nodded, wanting to go after him but her husband grabbed her arm.

"Are you crazy?"

"Please. Kíli will be with me and take care. Besides, up there are fewer enemies than down here. Get some people and try to destroy the Easterling leader that could be our victory" he tried to talk back but she interrupted him "Please. It will all be fine. I promise" slowly he nodded.

"Alright. But take care, little one. I love you"

"Of course. I love you too"

"No worries, I'll take care of both of us" Kíli also assured him. With a nod, Fíli pulled her closer, kissing her.

"You really are crazy…" he said shaking his head before letting go of her and then as agreed collected some of his men. She must have looked after him for a while because suddenly Kíli was there.

"Are you coming?" he asked, sounding a bit concerned. She gave a nod and they got moving after she had finally managed to take her eyes off her husband. Suddenly she understood his worries, the last time he had been in a battle – at the Black Gate - he had almost died. So obviously she too could have feared to let him go to battle now. So she was kind of glad that Kíli was with her and not her husband. Once arrived in Dale that must have suffered through the fights she used the first possibility she had to get onto the roofs "Everything alright up there?" Kíli called and she agreed "Just go and I'll try to follow you. Call me if you need me. And be careful"

"I will. Thanks" with that she ran over the roofs as well, jumping from house to house after she had gotten used to it and overcome her little problem with heights. Her biggest fear was to not make a jump and crash down instead. But it would seem she either was skilled enough or lucky. Another good thing was that the Orc leader had his back to her so she tried to sneak up on him. Throwing a look down, she could see Kíli who had shot a few Orcs underway. It seemed like the leader was watching something that was happening on the ground. But suddenly he turned to her abruptly and she realised he probably had known she was there. Before she could do something he knocked one sword from her hand that she gripped Gildin tighter and with both hands.

"You oppose me all on your own? What a stupid idea" she gave a shrug "You think you are so clever. But you will not defat me and go down"

"We shall see who goes down first" he made a weird sound, sounding a bit like a laugh before giving an order in Black Speech after which three Orcs lunged at her from somewhere. The leader just walked off. Luckily, Kíli helped killing her attackers from the ground, shooting two of them while she killed the last one.

"No wait, you are not alone"

"Oh finally did notice, huh?" she made a step towards him and it seemed like for her opponent that was the start signal and he ran at her and she had to move out is way, almost falling off the roof while doing so. But in he last moment she found her balance again and then jumped at his back as she had done before. Everything could have been perfect if Kíli had not let out a curse in that moment. She hesitated a short moment to stab the Orc but before she could even decide what to do and if she should try to see what Kíli was doing, her wrist was grabbed and the Orc dug his fingers in it, twisting it painfully that she finally dropped her sword. Then he pulled on her arm and after a while managed to have her glide over his shoulders and come down on the roof hard that her breath hitched for a moment.

"Perhaps you should have a look how your friend is doing" he lifted her up, throwing her against the steep side of the roof and she started to slip off. Of course she tried to grab something to hold on to but couldn't find something that was big enough so that she fell down nevertheless. She came down on the floor hard on her back, feeling glad that she could lift her head in the right moment, still she felt like all her bones were broken.

"Linnie!" she heard Kíli yell. Of course he had seen what had happened. When she saw him, her shock got bigger because his forehead and temple were bleeding heavily but it wasn't the worst. He was being held by four Orcs and his weapons were out of reach, in other words; he was lost. Without thinking to much she sat up, ignoring the pain that shot through her and pulled out two daggers. Then the Orc's leader landed on his feet next to her, obviously having jumped of the roof. His glance fell to Kíli what made him grin. There was other order in Black Speech and then Kíli had a blade right over his neck.

"No" she yelled, realizing that she wouldn't be with him quick enough to save him if she attacked.

"Yield and I will let him live" the Orc suggested but her brother-in-law interrupted him

"No! Run and find Fíli" in he eyes she felt tears and she couldn't move because if something happened to him, then Fíli would have no one because she too would die one day because of the prophecy. She couldn't just leave "What are you doing? Run! Quick"

"Is that what you really want? Abandon him?" the Orc asked. She swallowed and "Let go of your daggers and I'll give the order to let him go" the blade also now slightly cut into Kíli's throat that a thin line of blood was visible. It was all he needed to say and without thinking she did it. Kíli only yelled to stop this and not give up and save herself. Two Orcs were with her, taking away the rest of her weapons. In the meanwhile the others let go of the Dwarf instead and she beathed out in relief. Then she already was being pulled away and she threw a glance at him.

"Tell Fíli that I love him. And be there for him no matter what happens, he will need you more than ever" Kíli stared after her in disbelief while her tears spilled. The leader of the Orcs grabbed a stone.

"How touching. You are saving yourself for your husband's brother... Still completely in vain" he turned to his subordinates "Kill him"

"No" she yelled before the Orc threw the sone at her head and blackness engulfed her.

-oOo-

Her body seemed to be moving when she came to and the first thing she could see the ground moving under her, as if she was flying. Only later she realised that an Orc had thrown her over his shoulder. Then the whole pain came back, her upper body hurt as did her head. Sadly, someone had noticed that she was conscious again and the Orc who had been holding her let her fall to the ground what was anything but pleasant but she bit back any sound of pain. When she tried to sit up she noticed her hands were tied behind her back. So tight that the rope cut into her skin even if she didn't move.

"Good, she's awake. That means you can walk yourself now" the one who carried her said and she was grabbed and put back on her feet, being pushed forward immediately after that. Her thoughts went back to what happened and she realised that her sacrifice had been for nothing. They had killed Kíli anyways and now Fíli had no one left. And it as wall her fault. She also didn't like the fact that she would never see her husband again. When she thought about his last words to her, tears came to her eyes again. He had grabbed her arm, telling her that she was crazy. Decades ago, when she had first met him in Bree, his first touch had been taking her arm and asking if she was crazy for wanting to attack the men. Back then he had probably saved her and if she had listened to him now, none of this would have happened. After a few steps her legs gave in but she wasn't sure what had really caused it, if it were just the thoughts or more the physical pain. She also didn't care that she was crying.

"Fíli" she sighed "I'm so sorry. Oh Kíli. It's all my fault" one of the Orcs obviously had enough because he slapped her across the face hard.

"Get moving" he ordered but she refused. The worst that they could do was kill her. Well apart from torture of course. But nothing would save her from death eventually. Suddenly, the Orc leader was in front of her, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him.

"Obviously you have the power to destroy a realm. My master wants to use that. This is the only reason you are still alive"

"Sauron is dead. And I don't have any powers or something, so I cannot destroy a realm. I wouldn't know how. He'll soon find out and then you'll kill me. I don't fear death because I have nothing to lose"

"Sauron isn't my master. But you will get to know him soon enough. But in case you really can't do this he won't just kill you. No he has a lot of other things planned for you and it will come a time that you are begging for death. But you won't get it. Now keep walking"

"Forget it. You promised to let Kíli go and yet you have…"

"If you don't move now, I will hurt you"

"Go on. With every hit, every bone breaking or any other injury I am closer to death"

"I see I cannot threaten you with violence. And if I had my way and not my master, you would long be death. Or better" he grinned "I was given clear instruction about what I may do and what not. Inflict deadly wounds on you. Not allowed. Assault you. Not allowed. But that... That I am allowed" before she knew it, she felt a fierce pain on her thigh and saw how the Orc rammed a dagger into her skin, twisting it once before pulling it back out again. Then she saw the blade was curved, which probably was why it hurt so much. He held the weapon in front of her face with two fingers and she recognized it. It was one of her old daggers. The one with the darker dagger which she had thrown at Bolg when she had been seven. He must have noticed her face because he grinned, licking the blood off the blade with a appreciative smile. It was so disgusting she had to closer her eyes

"You sick bastard" she muttered, getting hit against the head with something hard and shortly after darkness took her again.

-oOo-

This time, waking up was even less pleasant because she was in more pain than before. Next to her she found the leader sitting on the floor.

"Sleep well?" he sneered. She didn't even manged to sit up but when an Orc helped her, she felt something warm flow down her back, which felt sticky and burnt like hell anyways "No worries, you're only bleeding" he explained with a monotonous voice "nobody wanted to carry you again so they dragged you along on the floor. I think you can imagine what your back looks like" she didn't manage to throw him an angry glare, or not as angry as she wanted and so she tried to tell him something but he interrupted her "And if you ever again get rude with me, we will destroy the realm that means most to you and that you lose your one and only; Gondor. Because like that we're finally rid of your brother as well" she slightly shook her head, puffing her chest as well as she could and then spoke coldly:

"My brother is very important to me. But my one and only is Fíli, who isn't in Gondor"

"Are you sure? When attacking the mountain the Easterlings and we agreed that you belong to us and they can have the king under the Mountain."

"You thought he was dead"

"Yes, so for a first they were satisfied with killing the temporary king but once you got back… they knew that your former husband would be theirs"

"He still is my husband"

"He was. He is dead by now" the words made her stomach clench even though there was no proof he really was dead. But it couldn't be. Because then everything would have been for nothing. Maybe he just wanted to make her desperate. Then again… what did life still bring for her? Should she really try to escape or just let herself be killed?

"He is my husband. Even if he is dead. At our wedding we asked Balin to formulate it that our love would last a lifetime and longer, as should our marriage bond. He is my husband" she wasn't even surprise that he grabbed her.

"You can be lucky my master told me the rules or else you would be entering a whole new world of pain"

"I bet your master is some bastard whose mother mixed up front and rear after his birth" she couldn't even give him an answer to the second part of his statement because the hit that came made her see stars. But after a while she recovered "Well go on. Just kill me. Then you'll have the same fate…"

"You will regret all of this once we have reached Gundabad. When I tell my master how you talk about him he will find a way to make you pay and stop. The only thing he demanded is that you are left alone on the way there but once we have reached Gundabad… may Melkor have mercy on you"

"Melkor and mercy? Don't make me laugh. And what do you think exactly is my reason to live if my husband is already dead? Besides… at some point I will be so weak or badly hurt that I can just say whatever I want and you can't hurt me because I will die and you get in trouble.

"That is enough. I will leave you to my subordinates. They have the same rules as me but it is quite possible they are not as well behaved as me. But I couldn't care less what my master does to them; the only reason I hold back is because I still have a reason to live"

"So that you can found your family of little pigs and bastards?" she didn't get an answer but he was dragging her through the camp by her hair. Only now she realised it was day and not night and remembered that in contrast to other races Orcs preferred the night for travel. At the edge of the camp he let go of her, as if he wanted to get the biggest distance to her as possible. He woke a sleeping Orc who didn't seem too happy. But after being told something in Black Speech, he was grinning and she only feared what was to come. Maybe she had gone too far. Without throwing another look at her, the leader walked off but not before mentioning that this was one of his most brutal minions. The Orc who was 'responsible' for her now threw her onto the ground, on her back, what made her grunt in pain.

"I was told there are new orders and I could do with you whatever I wanted and believe me I will" she of course knew what the words meant and was glad that it seemed to bother her because it meant her fighting spirit was back and it didn't mean she didn't care what happened to her anymore. After all, the one thing she wanted to keep was her honour. They could take her possession, her family or her home, most they already had but she would never let them also take her dignity. She first considered attracting attention so that others might wake and start a fight over her and she could try to flee. But the Orc was already prepared for that and stuffed something awfully smelling into her mouth and she didn't even want to know what it was. Then he tried to open her trousers but she kicked him in the face, which sadly didn't seem to bother him too much and soon he bent over her again after he'd hit her. This time she hit him between the legs and that time he almost sunk to the ground with a weird squeak. "Filth" he growled grabbing her by the collar and lifting her up that the last thing she saw was another Orc coming towards them before he let go of her and when her head came to the ground, she fell unconscious again.

-oOo-

Just like last time, her back was hurting again. Especially at one spot. Something seemed to be rubbing at it and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what. She also noticed that her left arm was dangling freely, which probably meant the rope was gone. And it seemed that someone was carrying her again. When she focused on the sounds she didn't hear any other people marching and she almost panicked. What if the Orc that raped her now also was abducting her to have her all to himself? She started to feel sick and considered what to do. At least he hadn't yet noticed she was conscious again. The fact that he seemed to carry her in front of his body brought her one big advantage because now that her hands were free, she could hit him, and then start to run. Not her fault he was alone. For a while she waited, gathering strength, before clenching the left fist, quickly raising the arm and hitting where she expected his face. As she had imagined he let go of her and she fell to the ground. She was quick to pull away and tried to run away but noticed that wouldn't work so she crawled instead. It hurt too but she had to get away. If he came too close for her liking she could fight him again or even steal his weapon, kill him and then she had almost all the time in the world to find help. Then she heard him coming closer and she tried to turn to hit her opponent an take his weapon but her had was caught mid swing. He was fast that she had to admit. As if he had know she would fight him. She tried to free her arm but her other wrist was grabbed.

"Calm down. Please, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have scared you like this, little one" for a moment her heart seemed to stop, then a weight was taken off her mind when she realised what it meant

"Fíli? You... are here?" he let go of her hands, taking off the helmet that used to belong to an Orc, pulling her into an embrace.

"Yes, I am here. Do you know how much I thank Mahal that I found you? Alive?" again she felt as if there were too many feelings inside her body and she broke out in tears. Tears of exhaustion, happiness, sadness and grief, gratitude and hope. He pulled her a little closer and now she noticed he must have stolen the whole gear of an Orc. That was why she hadn't recognized it was him. "It's alright. Just let it all out. But I promise you that now everything will be fine" he gently was massaging her scalp but suddenly he touched a hurting spot and she yelled out in pain "I'm sorry. I completely forgot. How are you even doing, what is hurting?" it took a while until she could answer.

"Better ask me what doesn't hurt. I think everything. And I bet a lot is broken too"

"What have they done to you, little one?"

"Well, maybe the fractures come from when I was thrown off that roof"

"Damn it. I wish that stupid pony was still here. I loaded it with everything I night need. Food, medicine, weapons but the beast ran off and I only had my disguise left and the weapons I carry"

"Which I bet still are enough to provide half an army with weapons" there was a little smile on her face when she mumbled the words

"Come on, let's get going, so we can properly have you treated. Can you walk?"

"No idea. Probably not. But maybe if you support me"

"Of course" he took her arm, putting it around his shoulders and holding it while placing the other hand on her hip, trying to pull her up. But she only let out a cry, not even having enough strength to try and stay upright. And it also hurt of course. "It doesn't work, does it?" he said and she shook her head in desperation, feeling tears in her eyes "Then I'll carry you" he wrapped an arm around her back and tried to put her to the front of his chest again but she stopped him

"No, please… my whole back hurts so much. It's bleeding heavily"

"Then we do it like the time you were hit by that Morgul arrow, that I carry you on my back"

"We can try but I can't say if I can hold on" and indeed did she always slide down more with each step and didn't have the strength to pull back up obviously. So soon they had to realize that this wasn't working either. Finally, he set her on the ground, placing one of her arms around his shoulders, telling her to hold on while one of his arms went under her knees and the other to her bum

"I'm sorry but this has to work or I don't know what to do" it was hurting but she didn't want to stop them again. After all it was somewhat bearable. But a few hours later she only felt numbness and didn't dare to think how her husband must be feeling. Then again, what if that was the end? Maybe the pain only was fading because she was too weak and was dying.

"Fíli stop. Now, please" she breathed. He seemed relieved to set her on the ground and now that his hands were free he placed one on her cheek, taking her hand with the other.

"What is wrong, little one?"

"I feel like I'm dying"

"No you won't" he said "We'll be home in a few hours. You have to hold on. Please"

"I don't know if I can. I'm to weak, I don't even feel my body anymore. But I'll be fine. I'll go into Mandos' halls as you once said. I will be fine that I promise. I will give your uncle and father your love. And I can get to meet your other relatives. And meet my parents, Balin, Ori, Bifur and everyone else. Of course I will be missing you but one day you'll come too and then we can be reunited. Forevermore"

"You will see them again, I promise. But first we will grow old together and have children. However many you want. Just stay with me, promise. I love you" she sighed

"I can't make that promise. But in case I die you have to remember your promise. And I'm glad that I can be here, with you, dying in your arms"

"No you won't. Not yet" suddenly, breathing started to hurt, as if her lung was being squashed and she was certain she didn't have much time left.

"Farewell, Fíli. I'll miss you and love you too" she even added his Dwarvish name what made her smile. From afar she heard him cry that she had to stay awake and with him and that she couldn't leave him. And something else that she didn't get anymore because darkness had already taken its hold of her.

This time forever, she thought.