Chapter 21

Jax walked through the now destroyed clubhouse which he once called home. The air was thick and you could still feel the heat from the fire. Everything was destroyed, all memories buried under rubble.

Jax felt a tight pain in his chest as he continued to look around, his eyes resting on what was they're chapel. He felt sick knowing that they all could have been sat at that table when the explosion went off, their families killed with them.

He thought about his conversation with Nicole, although she had said different this was all of his fault. He took a seat on a broken chair as he buried his head in his hands.

Chibs walked into the clubhouse and saw Jax, his head in his hands and he knew that he was taking this all on, blaming himself for all of this. As President this did lie at his feet but they would get through this as club, as brothers. But there was something that none of them could help him with right now and that was Nicole. She was lying in a hospital bed and Chibs knew that wouldn't be sitting right with Jax, he would want to fix it but there was nothing he could do.

Walking across the room he watched as Jax's eyes met his but Chibs didn't acknowledge him instead heading straight for the object that had caught his eye. Shifting some rubble he reached out and grabbed the gavel. Chibs looked over his shoulder Jax was watching him, he walked towards his president and handed him the gavel. Jax reached out at took it but before he let go Chibs spoke.

"We are gonna get through this brother. You hear me?" Jax nodded and Chibs get go of the gavel. "Lass is going to be fine. She's a fighter." Chibs knew that he didn't need to say her name, they both knew that he was talking about Nicole. "Roosevelt is outside."

Jax sighed. "Ok." Jax got to his feet and the two exchanged a hug before Jax led the way outside.

As they walked outside Jax was still taken aback by the scene. There were fire Marshalls, Bomb squad and police all on the lot. It reminded him of what he could have lost. Just as Chibs had said between all the noise there was Roosevelt ready and waiting.

"So you ready to talk?" Jax nodded into answer of Roosevelts question but before he spoke he motioned towards the garage. He wanted this conversation to be private. there were things he was going to divulge that he didn't need the others around them to hear.

"Im trying to end a relationship." Jax confirmed as they moved out of ear shot.

"Oh well then I would say she's very pissed off." Roosevelt remarked.

He knew that that was not the type of relationship Jax was referring to but he was pissed. Last night he had given them breathing room. He had witnessed the chaos first hand and for the first time he saw fear in Jackson Tellers eyes which was something he had never seen on the calm and collected Samcro President.

Whatever had triggered last nights events something told him that Jax Teller had not been expecting it. Roosevelt knew a hit when he saw it and he could only know of one group of people who like to revert to bombs, and that make his town was unsafe and it was his job to protect the people of Charming.

"Aye she sure is." Chibs added drawing Roosevelt from his thoughts.

"Listen, I know everyone in this town always looked the other way at how the club earned. And as an MC you kept this town small and safe. Unser, Clay they made it work. But it's not working anymore. Last couple of years everything the MC does comes back to haunt the people of this town. Look at the home evasions." Roosevelt couldn't help but bring that up but he had swallow back the anger before he could continue. "Everybody in this town is now starting to feel the heat because of the MC. Do you think that anyone is going to come and get their vehicle worked on anymore?"

Jax shook his head. The garage was the last thing on his mind right now but Roosevelt was right. This explosion would have been seen for miles and Jax knew that the folks of Charming were losing the faith in Samcro. But he didn't need this lecture, what he needed was an ally.

"I know this was IRA." Roosevelt continued in Jax's silence

"I can't say that but I can say that I'm trying to put an end to this shit. I'm trying to put us on the right side of things But it's going to take a minute." Jax pleaded as he wiped his hand over his face.

"I'm afraid your minute might have run out in that classroom last week."

Jax sighed. That shooting was still haunting all of them. "Look I know you're a good cop. We've done a few rounds together, and i've never tried to buy you." Jax wanted to make that point because of his remark about Clay and Unser. Unser was good because he was paid. "I'm not asking you to look the other way. I'm trying to be straight with you here. If you press us right now, crawl up our ass it's not going to help either one of us or this town."

"Were going to make sure none of this shite ever happens again." Chibs added.

Jax watched as Roosevelt looked between the two of them and could tell that fighting an inner fight.

"I really feel you guys believe that but im not sure you can promise me that." Roosevelt admitted

"I almost lost my whole family last night my wife, my kids. My cousin is currently in a hospital bed. I will never let anything like that happen again."

Knowing that he wouldn't get any further conversation Roosevelt nodded. Jax also knew that this side of the conversation was over. So he changed the subject.

"What's happening with Nero?" Roosevelt smirked at the change of pace

"We have evidence. He'll face a full charge of murder."

"He didn't do this" Roosevelt gave a nod and walked away. Jax looked back at Chibs.

"is everyone ready for the sit down?" Jax watched the slight shake of Chibs' head. "What?"

"Hap..."

"He'll be at St Thomas with Nic." Again Jax watched as his VP shook his head. "Then where the hell is he?"

The door opened and Nicole held her breath for a second before she saw Gemma enter. It was the first time seeing her since the news was out about her pregnancy.

"Expecting someone else?" Gemma asked as she walked further into the room placing a bag at the end of the bed. When Nicole didn't answer Gemma broke the silence. "I've got you some clothes, not sure what would fit." Gemma admitted. Nicole didn't miss the remark.

"Thank you." Nicole got out of bed and went for the bag, looking to see what her aunt had brought "Aren't you suppose to say I'm glowing?"

"Aren't you suppose to tell your family your pregnant?" Gemma countered causing them both to smile.

"I am sorry. I just..."

"Look are you planning on taking my grandbaby away?"

"No."

"Then we're good." Nicole smiled relived she was getting off lightly for her lies. "Spoke to Jax?"

"Yeah."

"Guess it's that." Nicole watched as Gemma pointed to her stomach. "That has had you and Hap acting a bit off."

"Yes." Gemma nodded and moved closer to her niece.

"But I know those bruises on your neck were from Happy." Nicole let out a frustrated breath but her Aunt was right and given everything Nicole knew she had no choice now.

"I tried to abort this baby behind his back." Nicole stated causing Gemma's eyes to go wide. "I betrayed him and when he found he let that rage get the better of him. But as soon as he I told him I was still pregnant he let go of me. He did this." Nicole pointed to her neck. "Because of who he is and because I betrayed him."

Nicole knew it was a risk but Gemma was a proper Old Lady and she would understand that what she had done going behind Happy's back was crossing a line and when she watched Gemma subtly nod she knew she got it.

"Are you good now?" Gemma asked.

"Yes." Nicole grabbed the bag of clothes. "How's Nero?" She asked changing the subject.

"Been arrested for a crime he didn't commit."

"Jax will fix this." Nicole spoke trying to reassure her.

"Yeah."

With the silence Nicole headed to the bathroom. Gemma had done well with the bottoms in bringing her some black legging but the top she had brought a fitted white Long sleeved button down shirt. Not only did it expose her growing cleavage but also her growing bump.

Nicole took a moment to admire her bump. It was crazy to Nicole how much had changed and how much she loved this child inside of her. She also loved the man who had created this child with her, but she may have just messed it up. Nicole swallowed down the lump in her throat. She couldn't cry right, mainly because she did want to have to deal with Gemma. running a brush through her wavy hair she added a little make. Taking a deep breath she re-entered the hospital room.

As she walked out of the bathroom Gemma smirked at her. "What?" Nicole questioned.

"Just can't believe we all missed this." Gemma pointed to her stomach that was on full display for the first time. Nicole's hand came to rest ontop and she smiled.

"Well lots of baggy tops helped. I probably need to get some maternity clothes actually."

"We can get that sorted." Nicole smiled. It would be nice to go shopping with Gemma for maternity clothes. Nicole grabbed Happy's flannel off the end of the bed, she took a moment to take in Happy's smell before grabbing her cell, still nothing. "Are you ready to go?" Nicole looked over her shoulder.

"Sure."

"You ok?" Gemma asked sensing something was off.

"I'm all good."

Nicole followed Gemma into her house. From the line of bikes out front she noticed that Happy's wasn't there. Where was he? Happy had left the hospital last night and she hadn't seen him since.

Why did she have to fuck everything up. The man she loved proposed and what did she do instead of saying yes and jumping into his arms, in true Nicole style she pushed him away, it was defence mechanism. She challenged that he was just doing it for the club, asked if it was a reaction to what had happened and then went on to say he didn't really want it and If he had then where was the ring.

She wasn't surprised that he walked out after that. But now she hated herself. She had ruined everything and that itch that had subsided being rushed into hospital, a threat to her unborn child was back in full force. But as she entered the house she didn't get much chance to think about that before the pulled into hugs.

"Knew the killah would end up knockin' you up the way you two go at it." Nicole smiled. She could always count on Tig to lighten the mood even at a time so heavy as this.

"Thanks Tigger."

"You need anything. You just ask Doll." And in true Tig style he went from joker to serious and Nicole knew that this man, hell any of them would give their life for her and now her unborn baby.

Nicole kissed his cheek. "I know."

Juice was next. She noticed he looked sad, he always looked so sad these days and she knew it was because he was still fighting to find his way back in. But after last night they all needed one another, they were family.

"You gonna give me a hug?" Finally a smile. He stepped forward and the two shared a hug. As they pulled away Nicole's hand came to rest on his cheek. "You're good Juice."

Rat hung back and just gave her a smile. He was still at prospect level so she understood.

"You boys want some more coffee?"

"Sure dollface." She nodded and headed over to the coffee pot as they all took a seat at the table.

"I'm going to head to the station, check in on Nero. You got this?" Gemma asked coming up behind Nicole.

"Yeah of course. Tell him I'm thinking about him. We wont let him go down for this."

"Thanks baby."

With Gemma leaving and the coffee brewing Nicole looked over at the vacant seats. Chibs, Jax and Happy. He must be with them but that thought was quickly diminished when Jax and Chibs walked in alone.

Jax was the first to come over to her kissing her cheek. She noticed his eyes do a scan of the room.

"Hap not here?" She shook her head in answer to his question.

"Was hoping he was with you." Nicole admitted, she was worried now because walking out on her was one thing but bailing on the club that was not Happy and watching Jax exchange a look with Chibs, he was thinking the same.

"Do you think something has happened to him?" Both men looked back at Nicole. The fear and panic was clear but as she stood there her bump exposed she just looked even more vulnerable.

"He say where he was heading last time you saw him?" Jax asked causing Nicole to shake her head again. Jax was all sorts of confused. When he had left his cousin at the hospital all was good but now he was feeling like he missed something.

"He'll be fine love." Chibs spoke sensing the growing fear in not only Nicole's eyes but now he's presidents yet again.

Chibs moved closer to Nicole as he could imagine where her mind was going. Phil and V-Lin had been murdered by the same people who had just tried to kill them all. An unaccounted brother is not what any of them needed right now. But Nicole needed reassurance.

"It's Hap." Chibs pulled her into a hug laying a kiss ontop of her head.

Nicole held onto Chibs tight. He was right it was Hap but Nicole couldn't stop her mind going into over drive. As she pulled away Chibs looked back at Jax. He dropped a kiss ontop of her head before heading over to the table leaving the cousins alone.

Nicole attention returned to the coffee. She felt a hand on her shoulder, she did want to look at him so she kept her eyes on the coffee pot until Jax pulled her towards him. He was about to speak the door opened again, both of their attention went to the door. It was Happy and Nicole let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, but that relief was short lived when his dark eyes narrowed in on her. She shifted uneasily under his gaze. Nicole felt Jax give her arm a squeeze before he stepped over to Happy. Nicole could sense that Jax's body language had changed. He wasn't concerned anymore he was pissed.

"Where you been brother?"

"Had somethn' to do." Jax noticed as Happy's found there was back to Nicole, causing Jax to also look over his shoulder at his cousin. "Coffee's done." Jax spoke.

Nicole's attention went to the coffee pot She knew that it was Jax's way of telling her to leave and even though she wanted to stay she knew right now wasn't a time to challenge Jax he was acting as president right now. So she grabbed the pot, took one last look at Happy and headed over to the table where the rest of the Sons were gathered.

"So this somethin' you just had to do. Anything to do with my cousin?"

"Had to go to my Mom."

Jax frowned "She ok?" Happy nodded in answer to Jax's question and Jax knew that this was all he was going to get out of his SAA.

"Gonna need you here today, with us." Happy knew the undertones of what Jax was saying. He needed his head in the game. But Jax had nothing to worry about his head was fully in it. He wanted to end this more than anyone as it was his unborn kid that almost paid the price of last nights action.

"All here man." Jax nodded accepting the answer, he clapped his hand down on his shoulder before heading over to the table, Hap following. As the both arrived the others got to their feet.

"We heard anything?" Jax asked kicking off the meeting

"Talked to Belfast they're whole. All the others charters too" Jax nodded at Tig's answer he was glad that the others charters hadn't been hit, which did back up his theory that this attack was personal to him. Jax looked to Chibs.

"See if they're ready."

"Aye." Chibs pulled out his prepay.

"Where's Tara?" Jax asked to no one in particular but it was Juice who answered.

"With the boys, in your old room." Jax nodded.

"Give me a sec, let me know when they are ready." Chibs nodded as Jax walked into the back room.

Seeing Jax leave Nicole decided to take her opportunity and she walked over to Happy.

"You need some coffee." Happy knew that it wasn't a question so he followed her back into the kitchen. "Look Hap about last night..."

"No." Happy interrupted with a shake of his head.

"Hap...please." Happy could see the tears glisten in his eyes. He stepped closer to her his hands coming to rest on the counter either side of her.

"Not here." He looked over to his brothers who had quickly diverted their eyes from them but Hap knew that they had been watching them and he wasn't having their business be up for brother gossip. Nicole's eyes had followed his but returned to him.

"Hap..." He looked back at her as she whispered his name. "We need..."

"Later." He spoke again cutting her off.

Happy could see that she was worrying and that worry right now wasn't good for the kid she had barely just come of the hospital he couldn't have her heading back in there. He got it, after he had asked her to marry him she went into typical self destruct Nicole mode. It pissed him off, he hated that after all this time she was still doing this , that she still didn't trust his intentions. He didn't want to talk about it now but he also didn't want her to worry all day. So he lent in closer, pressing his lips agianst her ear.

"Later." He repeated before kissing her on the side of the mouth. It was short but he knew it would work.

Pushing away he grabbed himself a cup and he watched as she filled it with coffee.

Tara sat on the bed, Thomas in her arms as she stroked his soft blonde hair as her eyes watched Abel as he played with his toys on the floor.

She had never felt more clear in what it was she needed to do. They all could have been killed last night and all because of the club and a stupid retaliation.

She needed to push forward.

Looking up as the door creaked open Tara watched as Jax entered the room. The weight on him was clear and she couldn't help but feel for him. She loved Jackson Teller more than she should and she wished she could save him as much as their children.

She watched as he crouched down beside Abel, his hand coming running over the blonde locks. She watched as Abel looked up to him and for the first time since the explosion he smiled a real big smile.

Jax placed a kiss ontop of his head before returning to full height, his eyes meeting Tara's. He walked over to Tara taking a seat on the bed beside her and Thomas.

"How is he?" Jax asked.

"I don't know, he hasn't really said much, didn't sleep and he hasn't eaten anything."

Jax sighed heavily as he rubbed his eyes. He was so tired, tired of everything but the club didn't stop. "We're heading up to Chester, sitting down with the Northwest. Need to let them know why this happened."

"Ok." Tara knew not to argue plus his absence would give her time with Lowen.

Before either of them could say anymore Tig knocked on the door. He didn't say anything but both Jax and Tara knew what it meant. He had to go. Jax got to his feet he dropped a kiss onto her forehead and Tara watched as he took the heavy steps out of the room. He really was feeling this.

Jax walked back into the kitchen. As he went to take a seat at the head of the table everyone who was standing took a seat. Happy making his way back from the kitchen with a coffee, but Jax looked over to Nicole. She looked back at him, he gave her a nod and she nodded back before grabbing her bag and making her way out of the kitchen through the door knowing that this conversation was not for her ears.