It was many days after that Pen found herself once again reminiscing on the same conversations. Over and over again. Playing in her head like a broken vinyl player. Some moments forever captured and some mistakenly changed by her own mind wondering in the places where it might not should've. The time he hugged her in the carriage felt sweet and hopeful, while the whole situation after not so much. She got back in her empty room with a feeling of being distanced from him yet again. Time. Wasn't it the hardest thing you can give to somebody you want constantly around?

She heard people discussing her latest issue on the early promenade. Mostly they were happy there was even another issue. Some minds wondered if there would be another one till the end of season. Which left her own mind wonder to the similar place. Would there be another one at all?

The wedding is tomorrow. And she couldn't help but wonder if the marriage would be the same as those last weeks? Lonely and hurtful in a newfound way she didn't experience before. Even though she and Eloise was back on talking stage, there was still some sort of wall when it came to Colin talk. She needed somebody else to talk to. That's when her thoughts suddenly rushed to the Genevieve Delacroix. It was a perfect choice of a person. As she waiting for the night to leave her house, her inner feelings still were occupied by him.

She loved him. Unconditionally. Wasn't it enough? She still needs to find balance between being herself, being his wife and being Lady Whistledown. Was it even possible to be all of those things at the same time? She was about to become Bridgerton. Her biggest dream of her life was coming true. Then why did it felt like losing something?

As the streets turned dark, she left for the Town.

"Genevieve, good evening." She said, entering her place.

"Good evening, my dear. I thought you might pop up. After all it's the night before your wedding." She said as she reached for two glasses and a bottle of some sort of liquor.

"Genevieve, Colin found out." Penelope said as she sat down.

"Oh, dear." Genevieve turned around in shock, looking at Pen with eyes full of questions.

"Don't worry, he doesn't know about your involvement." Pen reassured her.

"Well, that's good news." Genevieve said as she exhaled. "But how did he react?"

"He doesn't really talk to me. He said he needs time." Pen sounded predictably sad.

"I am sure he will come around." Genevieve reassured her. "Time is what most men need. They are not so fast in making any kind of decisions." She sat down, giving Pen a glass.

"Maybe you're right." Pen said as she took a sip and was surprised by how bitter it was, instantly going to her head. Genevieve laughed lightly. "I just fear it might take to long." Pen confessed.

"But what are thinking of doing about column? You're not planning on quitting because of a man, I hope." Genevieve said taking another sip.

"Well, actually I was going to. But he was the one that stopped me." Pen took another sip and continued. "Lately, I heard how people were missing the daily gossips. But I am also aware of how hard it might be for Colin. I should not make him live with this secret for me."

"So, he's supporting you in your success?" Genevieve asked surprised. It was rare for a man to not be envious.

"I guess you could say that. He did indeed say if it's the work of my life I should not stop." Pen was getting lost in thoughts.

"It is really rare. To meet a man who can support you in this way. Who can still choose you, even when the times are hard for him. What do you think then holds him back from talking to you?" That was indeed a good question. As the conversation continued, they only came to realization, that sometimes waiting for somebody doesn't mean putting your own life on stop. But giving somebody safe quiet place to come around with one's thoughts also is an important part of being intertwined in any way.

As she left that place, she felt more than lightheaded. Walking down the road, suddenly she saw a familiar shadow, with a very familiar smell, that she just had left.

Their eyes met. As she stood there confused and startled.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, stopping just a few steps from her.

"I…"

"No, not bother explaining. I am well aware you need no one as you can take care of yourself." Those words stab her right in her heavy heart. Is that what it was all about? The need of him to feel manly by protecting her as if she was this soft gentle flower of some sort? But if he wanted this, did it mean he wanted to be that society acceptable kind of man, that does whatever he wants, not bothering to tell his wife? Well, that wasn't the kind of wife she could ever be. As he tried to walk past her and leave, she stepped in his way, blocking him and asked.

"What are YOU doing here all alone the night before our wedding then?"

"What kind of right do you have to ask me that?" He was getting mad now. But wasn't he the only one?

"Every right. I have every right to care about the person I love." She said, as she looked up, trying to see his eyes. "I have every right to worry, if that said person hasn't spoken to me in days, in weeks really and apparently expects me to be a silenced wife."

"I am not!" He started, but just like that something in her words made him smile. "Silence you?" He laughed lightly. "I would like somebody try that." A confusion with still slight annoyance was visible on her face as he continued. "But openness for openness, let's give it a benefit of a doubt. I asked you first." As he waited for her answer, the question was sinking in slowly.

"I was talking to a friend." She simply said, as she realized a hole she dug for herself.

"Well, as we're being that honest, I was Talking to some friends." He made an additional emphasis on the word Talking, letting her know how many things that could mean.

"Yes, of course." She simply gave in. As he was surprised, she gave in that easily.

"So, are you going to tell me the truth? Or am I not worthy of simple respect even?" He asked.

"Colin, I am telling a truth. I needed to talk to somebody who was not Bridgerton. Somebody who knows everything, but can share their true opinion, not silenced by family connections." She answered, trying to real just enough for him to move on.

"You're going to be Bridgerton tomorrow. Who are you planning to come after that? I am surely not unworthy of this rank." He rolled his eyes.

"Colin. If I could've talk to you, I would!" She screamed taking a step closer. "I would." She said more calmly. "But you asked for time and I am trying to give you that." Her voice almost pleading now. "I am trying and it's hard. It's harder than anything, as I want nothing more than to talk to you."

He stood there looking at her in disbelief. Was he creating this madness for himself with his own hands?

"I love you!" She said and, in that moment, he could not help but let go of that coldness he was trying to wear lately. His lips crushed on hers with such intensity, she had to take a step back to regain her balance. His hands on her waist, her in his hair. Both of them found something that were missing all those recent weeks.