It had been a few days since the secret was released to the public. To Jane's surprise, it didn't put her on a huge spotlight like she assumed it would. She got occasional unsolicited advice for the future but, overall, the castle drummed on as usual. Well, except for one thing: It had been several days since Jane had spared, or even seen, Gunther. This wasn't necessarily unusual, since Gunther's father would regularly pull his son away from squire duties in order to help him in his trade business. However, with Gunther's absence and the fact that Jane had a very easily targeted secret out, it left her on edge. At any moment she expected him to round a corner and begin digging around for insecurities about marriage that she didn't even know she had. Jane was upset by how much Gunther's words bothered her sometimes. Why did she even care what he thought? That wasn't a rabbit hole she was interested in exploring right now. Because currently, she had more pressing matters to attend. For example: her mother's rapid approach.
"Jaaaane, dear!" she announced her presence still a good ten yards away.
The squire in question was in a heated battle with the training dummy as her mother called over. Just like Gunther, it had been a few days since Jane had seen her. She assumed her mother was either waiting for her to come and apologize or was simply waiting for the dress to be repaired. Whatever the answer was, her mother wore the same rehearsed smile she always did. Meaning she either had forgiven Jane for her outburst or was biting her tongue in hopes of compliance. Jane knew it was probably the latter. Nevertheless, Jane didn't attempt to run away as her mother finally made it to the acceptable talking distance. Instead, she greeted her mother with a grunt, a glance, and complete ignorance as she continued her battle with the dummy.
It was obvious this bothered Adeline because she put her hands on her hips and cleared her throat loudly, "Jane, please look at me when I am speaking to you," she said, feigning politeness.
"If you bite your tongue any harder it'll bleed," Jane thought bitterly but knew she was about to do some tongue-biting herself. After taking a refreshing sigh, Jane stabbed her wooden sword into the ground and fully turned toward her mother, who had gotten startled by the sudden thud. "Yes mother, I do apologize. I assume you're here about the gown," if her mother taught her anything, it was the act of being passive aggressive.
Her mother sensed this and responded through clenched teeth, "Why yes, the seamstress was luckily about to fix it after your little 'accident.' Now if you would please come with me to try it on, hopefully, for the last time before the ball..." she gestured with her hands toward the castle. Adeline did a lot of talking with her hands.
"Alright mother, you win. I'll come try on the dress," Jane sauntered past with her hands up before spinning around to once again face her mother, a single finger pointed at her, "On one condition..." I get to wear some pieces of armor with the gown"
"No, absolutely not. We paid good money for that dress and it will not be hidden behind armor," Adeline quickly responded.
"I have also paid good money for these armor pieces that I am having custom-made to go with the dress, not cover it up," Jane emphasized that the dress would still be the center piece, "it's a compromise, mother. Now, do you want me to try on the dress or not?" Jane was beginning to push her luck in the sass department.
Her mother eyed her as she seemed to be weighing her options. Taking a shaky breath, her mother finally responded, "If you insist on being stubborn about this matter, then fine. I am willing to consider it. May I see the pieces you are referring to?"
Knowing her mother, Jane knew that half the battle was already won. Confident, she led her mother toward the direct of Smithy's workshop.
The gown was good as new and simmered brilliantly in the light coming from the castle window. Jane found herself once again feeling mixed emotions about her reflection in the mirror. After her mother's approval of Jane's armor, it was time for her to hold up her end of the bargain and once again try on the damn dress. The seamstress and Adeline talked amongst each other as they hovered around Jane. Lifting her arms, spinning her around, and occasionally poking her with pins. Jane felt like one of the Princess' dolls, and that was not a good thing. After what felt like an eternity, her mother and the dress-maker seemed satisfied with their work. Waving their goodbyes, Jane was once again alone with her mother. Jane wanted desperately to get out of the dress no matter how beautiful it was. The mismatched vision of her in the mirror was really starting to bother her. However, before Jane could reach for the corset, her mother came up behind her, squeezing her shoulders affectionately as they both stared into the mirror. Her mother looked so happy in this moment, it even looked as if she could cry. "My gorgeous Jane, all grown up," she sniffled.
"I don't feel like it," Jane mumbled back without thinking.
"What on earth do you mean, dear?"
"I mean- look at me! I just don't look like I belong in this dress at all!" Jane's emotions boiled over and she shrugged her mother's hands away.
Adeline took a deep breath and turned away from Jane to rummage through a drawer nearby. She returned with a brush and pulled up a chair, motioning Jane to sit. Being genuinely tired from standing for so long, Jane obliged without fuss. As expected, her mother then begun working at her daughter's tangled mess of hair. It had been a while since Jane had her hair brushed by her mother. Jane, in general, didn't brush it as much as she probably should. She only ever did when it was getting particularly unruly to the point Gunther made note of it. She picked at her dress and avoided looking at the mirror, unsure what to do or how to get rid of the thoughts in her head.
Her mother worked at her hair for quite some time. A few protests broke from Jane when her mother was too rough, but overall, things went by smoothly. Her mother eventually moved on to braiding and tying her hair before dampening a cloth and wiping the dirt from her daughter's face. However, snatching the cloth, Jane insisted she could do this part on her own. When Jane had finished and opened her eyes, she noticed her mother had brought out a box of makeup that Jane had been told for many years never to touch. Jane felt hesitant, "Doesn't the church discourage makeup, mother?"
Her mother made a motion with her hands as if shooing away a fly, "Don't worry Jane, this is a special occasion and I know how to do it correctly." She replied, patting some white powder onto Jane's face, "Besides, we'll just use a little for now because we need to save it for the ball."
Jane groaned internally having been reminded of the ball. How could her mother turn what she used to love so dearly into something that now felt so ominous and dreadful. "Mother, must I be wed? Why can't I wait until I'm older like the men?"
"It's just how it is, darling. How it always has been," was Adeline's unsatisfying answer. Considering how against tradition Jane was, this response irritated her. Her mother must have seen the look on her face because she added, "come now, Jane. I'm not a monster. Every girl your age is expected to marry. I am also planning to take into account your feelings, which not all mothers do." She emphasized that last statement.
"And I suppose I'm supposed to be thankful...?" Jane rolled her eyes.
"That would be appreciated, yes," Her mother tilted her chin up and applied a little red to her lips before pausing to admire her work, "Now, that's a lady for you." She smiled and moved out of the way so Jane could see herself in the mirror. The reflection's eyes were wide with shock and it crept closer to it's host. Jane now stood eye to eye with the beautiful girl in the mirror. Her hair was combed as flat as possible and braided loosely in a crown. It wasn't a traditional style, but it was probably all her mother could do with the short hair Jane insisted on keeping. The makeup made her face pale but her cheeks and lips were red. Jane didn't know how much makeup her mother wanted to put on her if this was what she considered to be "a little." Either way, Jane couldn't help but smile. She hadn't felt genuinely beautiful in a long while. Although she wasn't trying particularly hard to be beautiful, she did like to be presentable. Especially for her fellow squire, who seemed to pick up on all her flaws. Her smile fell thinking about him and how he'd laugh at her appearance now. This wasn't a knight standing in front of this mirror, it was a lady-in-waiting. Adeline must have sensed the change in the atmosphere, for she was quick to try and save the situation, "Now, dear, remember the armor pieces you'll be wearing." It was too late though, Jane wanted out of this outfit but more importantly, this dumb makeup. Her mother sighed as Jane grabbed the damp cloth used earlier and begun scrubbing the white and red makeup away. Afterward, Jane was thankful that her mother helped her out of the dress and into her regular clothing without a word of protest. Once finished, Jane awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, unsure if she should just leave as her mother carefully folded and put the gown away. "I'm sorry mother," was all she could muster. She meant it, too. She knew she was being difficult in her mother's eyes, and Adeline was being far more accommodating than Jane had anticipated.
These words seemed to surprise Adeline as she turned to face her daughter, genuine shock on her face before being replaced by a smile, "apology accepted, Jane." She stepped closer to Jane, taking her hands in hers. She got a far off look in her eyes as she opened and closed her mouth, seeming to debate on whether to say her next words, "You know, I was also scared when my father told me I was to be married off."
It was Jane's turn to be surprised. Her mother had always seemed so strong and capable. There was an aura about her that gave the impression she had life figured out from birth. "But you love Father, don't you?"
"Of course I love your father!" she laughed, "But if I were being honest, I hated him when I first met him."
"Really?!" This was news to Jane. She had to admit her parents were quite opposite personalities but they always seemed happy together.
"Yes, yes. He was not the typical man I had hopped for." She looked to the side, lost in thought, "He was boney and thin when we first met. Not at all the handsome prince I had hoped for. And he was so clumsy and uncoordinated! He couldn't dance to save his life," She laughed at this, but not in a mean-spirited way. A genuine laugh like when speak about a fond memory. "And of course you know how timid your father can be at times. That drove me insane," They both laughed at this.
Turning back to Jane, she continued with sincerity "But as I got to know him, I saw him for who he truly was. An honest and kind man, who is willing to go above-and-beyond for those he loves. Even if he is afraid. Plus, I've been told his softer nature balances my strong will well. I couldn't ask for more."
This revelation eased Jane's worries, knowing her mother also faced hardships at her age but was able to get through them. However, the unknown of Jane's future husband still plagued her. "So... you will take my preferences into account when picking a suiter?" Jane asked tentatively.
"Of course Jane. I will not throw my one and only daughter to the wolves," Adeline responded almost defensively. Jane beathed a sigh of relief before her mother added, "Although you don't speak to me much when it comes to romance. It would be nice for you to actually tell me some of your preferences," she said hesitantly, as if worried it would cause Jane to blow-up again.
It did cause Jane to freeze for a moment. She hadn't really spoken to anyone about romance, better less her mother. What did she want in a husband? She had hoped her new role as a knight's squire would buy her more time to consider things of this matter. Alas, here she was, and the ball was not far now. If she didn't tell her mother something, who knows who she would end up with. "Um... well... I guess it would be nice not to marry an old man," Jane half-heartily laughed in hopes of breaking the tension. The thought did genuinely worry her. She didn't think any woman really wanted to marry someone twice their age but she knew it wasn't uncommon. Her mother simply nodded at this but remained quiet, prompting Jane to continue, "Of course I am going to finish my knight's training. So he has to be okay with that," Her voice was much firmer with this request. She would probably end up running away to another kingdom if she was forced to marry someone who didn't allow her to continue her knighthood. Her mother frowned at this request but didn't object. "And I know this one may be difficult, but if it could be someone I know, that would be nice," Jane finished, thinking of Jester's offer from earlier. However, she was still unconvinced that even mentioning it to her mother would be worth the breath it took.
Her mother sighed, "Well, that may be impossible but I will do my best with those first two requests," and Jane was happy enough with that. Before Jane could turn to leave, Adeline opened her arms, silently asking for a hug. Jane, fatigued, couldn't resist a hug from a mother. The embrace was warm and nostalgic. It reminded her of her childhood, back when she spent almost every day at her mother's side. Those days seemed so long ago now and she wasn't sure when she'd have one of them again. So, for now, she melted into the hug, cherishing the moment.