Disclaimer: I don't own anything except any original characters I may come up with.

Summary: Rollins comes to New york to escape her past in Atlanta; there she meets a fiery brunette who's work she has admired from afar. The problem is she doesn't seem to like Amanda very much but the truth is Olivia is battling her own demons . Can they get past them together and become stronger? Or will they let the past tear them apart forever? Rolivia romance. F/F.

A/N: this idea has been going around my head for a while. It's Rolivia end game so if you don't like that kind of thing then don't read. Also its rated M from the start. Triggers include references to sexual assault, drinking, gambling, child abuse etc. this story will not include any actual in depth rape scenes. Starts season 13 when Rollins joins SVU.

Prologue:

Olivia still couldn't believe Elliot put his papers in without telling her. He'd just gone . No goodbye. No warning. 13 years together and it obviously meant nothing to him. Those feelings must of all been in her head. The touches, the long glances, the way they always seemed to know what the other was thinking without even a word passing between them.

'Stop Olivia!' she thought to herself 'it meant nothing, clearly.'

Olivia stood, grabbing her wine glass and putting it on her kitchen counter she reached for the whiskey and poured it neat into a glass. she knocked it back. It had been three days since she'd found out he'd left . Three days she'd spent working and three nights she'd been coming home and drinking away the pain of his abrupt departure. She surveyed the room, her eyes coming to rest on the framed picture of herself and her mother. Pouring another whiskey she raised the glass to the photo " here's to you Mom, guess we're more alike than I thought" she threw back the drink relishing the burn in her throat. Her eyes watered but not from the drink. She didn't want to be like her mother, she just couldn't stop right now. She wouldn't stop. She grabbed the bottle and her glass and prepared to settle onto the couch, planning to drink herself to sleep when her door knocked.

Olivia sighed, got up and peered through the peep hole before wrenching the door open in disbelief.

He was here. On her doorstep. His apologetic blue eyes met her sad brown ones.

"Elliot" she breathed out, uncertainty creeping into her voice " what are you doing here?" Olivia was sad, she was angry and she was well on her way to being drunk.

"Olivia, can I come in please?" Elliot pleaded, "We need to talk" he seemed genuine . She opened the door wider for him. Elliot followed her. They both stood in her kitchen now staring each other down. " I had to leave. I thought it would be best if I did it quietly. I didn't think I could take it to hear your voice. That if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave. But as it turns out, I couldn't see it through without saying goodbye. Olivia, I needed to..." He couldn't finish because her lips were on his and Elliot couldn't quite fathom what was happening. Olivia was kissing him, she tasted like whiskey and salt from her tears. He pulled away and wiped the fresh tears from her eyes with the pad of his thumb. He took one more look at her before capturing her mouth for himself. She pushed herself against him desperately . She needed to anchor herself to him at the moment to believe he was really here. This was Elliot and he was kissing her. He wrapped his arms around her tighter and she was pulling his jacket off his shoulders, unbuttoning his shirt, kissing his chest whilst his own mouth nipped at her neck. Her head tipped back and she groaned aloud as he sucked at her pulse point.

"God El." She breathed hard " I've thought about this for so long" She moaned again as his mouth attached itself beck to hers. And now he was unbuttoning her shirt and sliding it off her shoulders. Sucking in a breath he looked down at her chest.

"Me too Liv, god you're gorgeous" Elliot panted. He hadn't come here for this. He had come to apologise , say goodbye and move on with his life and with his family. Now though, he knew they were past the point of no return. The minute her mouth had touched his,he'd been sunk. Thirteen years of pent up longing for one another had culminated in this moment. She reached behind her and unhooked her bra and threw it on the ground and pulled him to the floor with her. He settled his weight on top of her grinding against her. She was panting and writhing against him and when she reached between them and gripped his member through his jeans, he growled into her neck and bit her and sucked at her skin, she hissed at the momentary pain before he ran his tongue over the fresh mark on her neck to soothe it.

She reached for his belt unbuckling it and pushing them down over his hips. He shook them down and kicked them over his feet, leaving him in just his boxer briefs, Elliot pulled her pants down and her panties went shortly after. Next thing he knew they were both naked and he was pushing inside her. God she was so, so tight. So warm. He pulled her hip towards his and then he raised himself to his arms over her. Boxing her in. She looked up at him and moaned "El, please , please move" He nodded. And thrust his hips into hers. She gasped and he did it again. He didn't want to rush this, he wanted it to last forever but she felt too good so his pace increased. He could feel his end coming and felt she wasn't going to take long either so he reached between them and stroked his thumb over her clit until he felt her body stiffen beneath his. "Jesus Christ Elliot!" she cried out and he captured her lips with his one last time as he felt himself spill inside her.

They came down and then when they locked eyes, realisation hit them both at the same time. Elliot pulled out of her and shrank back from her. Neither of them spoke as Elliot pulled his briefs and pants back on. Refusing to look at her again until he was dressed. He ran a hand over his face and sighed.

"Liv, I didn't come here for this. I can't do this again. This can't happen again. I'm married! I just cant..." He looked at the floor "this was a mistake, I shouldn't of come here." He grabbed his coat off the floor. Finally he heard Olivia's voice, cracking with emotion she whispered " What was this?" She looked so sad, so broken, tears in her eyes again. He turned away from her, he couldn't look at her like that and have to leave. He said the words he had come to say even though they pained him.

"This was goodbye Liv." and with that he walked out of her apartment and out of her life. Elliot was gone.

A/N: don't hate me! This is just a prologue. Its essential for the story. Sorry to all the EO shippers(hides face) I'll be introducing Rollins in the next chapter.