Huan Strongarm: A Bartfort Folktale

by Vergil Creiger

In which a simple delivery to Holfort goes horribly horribly wrong.

18. Novice Sama

When Wid the Terrified was reading the Scroll of Monas, he described a beautiful woman standing beside a tree. While her decapitated state as well as the presence of crows and a many-headed monster may seem atypical, he is describing a popular figure from Elvish mythology.

Much like the Saint was the closest thing Holfort had to a god, the Elves - not just in the Kingdom, but globally - worshipped Four Primordial Witches. Whoever was venerated most varied from culture to culture, but each one was always represented alongside the other three without exception. Their names were:

Silver, the Witch of Snow.

Life, the Witch of Fire.

Walpurgis, the Witch of Night.

Fraxinus, the Witch of Trees.

According to Elf lore they created a barrier of fog that separated the waking and dreaming worlds, after which each of these witches entered the realm of dreams where they fell into an eternal slumber. According to legend, that is where they remain to this day.

Don't believe everything you hear. When I was a child, Leon occasionally called on a variety of characters to babysit me while he ran off and did hero things. Two of these babysitters were a pair of very tall women that strongly resembled contemporary descriptions of Silver and Walpurgis.

Do you know what they called themselves? Silver and Walpurgis.

While I admit that it's possible that they were both being facetious, Silver had a habit of telling me stories when she tucked me in at night. One of them - the story of how she and Leon met - matches with Wid's visions exactly.

Of course, in her version Leon is human, shirtless and riding a horse that he rides as he whisks her over the sunset, but I'm just going to ignore that.

Huan Strongarm: A Bartfort Folktale, by Lufas Maphaahl

Leon bolted upright with a yip, his head whipping back and forth in a panic. Wid screamed like a little girl, having evidently been in the process of bending over to see if he was okay. "Oh my goodness," he gasped. "My heart. My poor heart."

"Where am I?" Leon asked shrilly. "I was in the catacombs a minute ago!"

The two of them were standing on moist grass, their surroundings hidden by a thick, grey fog. "Your friends carried you back," explained Wid. "You… uh… You fainted. It seems like Lady Canaria might have surprised you slightly."

Leon's tail dipped with embarrassment, the details slowly coming back to him. "Ah shit," he muttered. "They're never going to let me live this down."

"Lady Canaria is fine, by the way," offered Wid helpfully. "Your friends brought her back. She's being cared for by the monks as we speak. I guess whatever her grandmother did to restore her to life really worked."

"That's…" Leon sighed in resignation. "That's great, Wid. Thanks."

He didn't bother asking himself why she had suddenly woken up: once again, he had no one to blame but himself. Because of Leon, Olivia had talked with the Comet General instead of killing him. Because she had learned from Onemore of Canaria's fate, she had felt sympathy and tried to heal her. It was the only possible catalyst for the change.

"Also your friends gave me what I asked for." He held up the Axe of Ikus; despite the dim light, Leon could see his reflection in the blade. "Unfortunately I passed out before I could introduce them to Sama. Sorry."

"Sleep deprivation," nodded Leon understandingly. "I get it." It took him a few seconds to fully process what the monk had just said. "Wait, what do you mean you passed out? Are you dreaming right now? Am I stuck in your dream or are you stuck in mine?"

"This one is mine. In a few minutes that fog is going to clear and we're going to be in the thick of that vision I told you about."

"What vision?"

Leon and Wid screamed and jumped apart, not immediately recognising the voice or where it came from. "Onemore? Is that you?"

"Greetings, Master!" Leon suddenly realised that he was still wearing the gaudy anklet that had been forced on him in the catacombs. "I am pleased to report that I can now understand you, thanks to our bond! Also, I would appreciate it if you could call me Moz from now on. It's short for Moissa."

"Is your jewellery talking?" The look on Wid's face could not adequately be described in words. "Is this, like, normal for you?"

"It's not jewellery!" Leon snapped, his manliness now slightly bruised. "But yeah… yeah, things like this are getting to be pretty typical."

"What's getting typical?"

Leon, Wid and Moz all screamed as Olivia suddenly appeared with Pietru on her shoulder, startling them both into also screaming. For a moment everyone just stood there and tried to calm down.

"What the hell?" Pietru complained. "Is that how you say hello in dog years?"

"What the BALLS are you two doing here?"

"You wouldn't wake up!" Olivia blurted, flushing self-consciously. "Lil P told me the Saint's mind… emotion… something magic might be able to help, so I gave it a shot!"

Pietru was examining her surroundings. "Are you having a vision quest? Have these monks been supplying you with hallucinogens?"

"I'm not high, Pietru!"

"This fellow who Leon called Wid is preparing to face his demons with the Axe of Ikus," declared Moz. "As for why everyone's joining in… we're not sure yet."

The Elder Dragon looked around curiously. "Who said that?"

"Oh, right." Leon held up his new bling. "This is Moz, and he's a magical knight familiar made out of a comet. First he served some witch, then my ancestor, then one of the Five Adventurers and now me."

"Moz?" repeated Olivia. "You're calling him Moz now?"

"It's what Twin Pupils used to call me." He seemed to think for a moment. "Why can the two of you understand me? It should be just the monks and my Master."

"Dreamscape," shrugged Brother Wid. "I'm sure you'll be back to normal once we wake up."

"Master?" Pietru snickered. "Is this, like, a kink thing, or…"

"How dare you!" If Moz had a face it would have been flushed with fury. "Master and I have a sacred bond, which-"

"So you're his servant?"

"No!"

"Slave?"

"I am his retainer! We have a master/retainer relationship!"

"How can you be a retainer when you aren't in his GODDAMN MOUTH!"

Olivia drew closer to Leon, and as she nervously ran her fingers through his fur he realised her hand was shaking. "Guys? The fog is starting to pull back!"

When the grey clouds pulled back a great tree became visible; it was ancient and gnarled, with not a single leaf on its towering branches. Countless ravens perched in the place of greenery, hunched and squinting at them in eerie silence.

"Well, that's unsettling," remarked Leon.

"The vision," croaked Wid. "Again, it comes for me!" He gripped the Axe of Ikus in his hands, seeming to draw strength from it. "This time… This time, regardless of whether I live or-"

"What the fuck are you look at?" Pietru snarled suddenly. The ravens panicked and took flight as she returned to her full size, blasting them out of the air with energy balls from her mouth. "I'll kill you!"

The others watched as she unleashed gruesome violence upon the unfortunate birds. "Damn," muttered Leon. "What set her off?"

"She probably didn't like them in her airspace," Olivia pointed out. "Remember? Back when we met Chris we had this whole discussion over whether we should keep using that magic axe as a scout. Jilk said it would make Lil P angry so we just had her deliver a message instead. Don't you remember?"

Leon squinted for a few seconds. "Vaguely. It's been a busy day."

A beautiful woman stepped out from behind the tree, holding her head in her hands. Wid had described her as wearing a gossamer robe; this was another way of saying it was made of spiderwebs, which meant her clothes were distractingly see-through: Leon, Wid and even Olivia had a hard time keeping their eyes on her face, which she insisted on holding just below her breasts. The fact that her face was hidden by a veil of spiderwebs only made it worse.

Leon didn't bother asking how a woman could be beautiful with her face covered. They all knew why.

"Oh, grow up, all of you," muttered Moz.

"Greetings, walkers of slumber," she whispered. She had a very nice voice. Honestly, they had expected something creepier. "Welcome to my tree, the home of my dreams. Prepare yourselves, for nightmare creeps close behind."

The fog coalesced into a terrifying monster, an immense beast with twelve heads and twelve tails. Its skin was the same, unsettling shade of grey as Ikus Fou Seberg's eyes, and each head had six black eyes like those of a shark. All seventy two of them focused on the group, saliva dripping from its twelves sets of jaws to burn sizzling holes in the earth.

"Get em, Wid."

The monk shot him an alarmed look. "What?"

"Wasn't this why we went into those catacombs in the first place?" Leon demanded. "So you could fight that thing?"

Brother Wid waffled for a moment. "Y-Yeah, but… you know… now that I'm actually looking at the thing…"

The wolfdog rolled his eyes as the Comet General morphed into his true, armoured form. "Don't worry, Master! I'll-" The monster swatted him aside anticlimactically, causing him to skip across the grass like a stone across the river. "Gah!"

"Here's a thought," said Leon, ignoring him. "If this is your dream, does that mean that you can control everything that's happening?"

Wid went blank for a second. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, I see!" Olivia beamed. In the background, Sir Onemore had gotten back up and resumed his attack; although he was extremely tough, he was having about as much effect on the monster as a toothpick on a rhino. By now Pietru had finished off the last of the crows, and had landed off to the side so she could laugh at him. "It's like when you're having a lucid dream: if you focus, you can bend the world itself to your bidding!"

"Start with the basics," suggested Leon. "Imagine you're growing bigger."

"I'm not sure if-" Wid cut himself off with a yelp as he began to expand, his body exploding out of his robe and leaving only a Conan the Barbarian loincloth in its place. His muscles became huge, rippling and lubricated, the Axe of Ikus growing alongside him until he rivalled the twelve-headed monster in size.

"MOTHER OF GOD!" Moz screamed, hurling himself out the way before Wid could accidentally step on him.

"Well that was easier than I thought it would be," observed Olivia. "Can I do that?" She concentrated for a few seconds, but no dice. "Shame. I know it's not my dream, but still."

"I just had the most amazing idea!" Leon gushed, likewise growing in size. Moz dropped his sword in surprise, scrambling to pick it up again.

"What- How- Why- HAS HE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT?"

"Always," nodded Olivia. She had withdrawn to stand next to Pietru, apparently comfortable enough with their odds to metaphorically eat her popcorn and watch. "Or at least since he became a dog."

"Climb on my back."

Wid looked utterly baffled. "Why?"

"So you can ride me into battle."

As soon as he looked in his eyes, Wid knew that Leon was right: that was a stupid question. He heroically leapt onto the colossal wolfdog's back, roaring a battle cry as he leapt on the terrified monster. The fairy and the Elder Dragon egged them on as they tore the poor creature to shreds, fang and axe working in perfect unison.

Moissa Onemore just stood there in mystified amazement. "Well that's not something you see every day."

"I'm doing it!" Wid laughed hysterically. "I'm really, actually doing-"

He disappeared without fanfare, apparently having woken up. Leon was left mildly distracted and confused. "Where did he go?" The monster took the opportunity and bit him, earning a brief yelp of pain. "Motherf-"

The monster screamed in agony as Leon sank his teeth into its main body, lifting it into the air and violently shaking it back and forth; every bone in its body was broken in seconds, but he kept going for a while because his canine brain enjoyed the swishing sound. His tail began to wag furiously.

Abruptly the monster exploded, its body detonating into a tidal wave of snow. Pietru reacted quickly and wrapped herself around Olivia to protect her, while the Comet General was washed away by the tide. Leon, of course, was just surprised and annoyed, finding himself spitting the snow out of his mouth when it refused to melt.

"Is this snow?" Leon coughed. "Why is it warm?"

The grass was now decorated for miles with ice and snow, which they could now see extended in all directions to distant mountains. Even the tree was covered, the dead bark now shining and beautiful in the light.

"This is so beautiful!" As soon as Pietru let her go, Olivia began running giddily through the snow. A few flakes were still falling out of the sky, and she reached out to catch them as they fell. In the distance, Onemore pulled himself from a snowdrift.

"I'm okay!"

Leon shrank himself down, sniffing the air cautiously. "This doesn't smell like anything like that monster," he noticed. "I don't think this is part of its body: I think this might be this place's true form."

"Guys?" They all turned to the White Dragon, who was fanning her wings cautiously. "Who is that?"

A lady had appeared, lying with her back to the tree. She was so beautiful that she eclipsed the headless woman from earlier, with long silver hair and pointed, elfin ears. She had a tattoo on her throat resembling a collar of diamonds, and her voluptuous body was covered by a thin dress.

Leon huffed. "If she's a Freudian mirror of Wid's psyche then I swear to god…"

"She could be dangerous," insisted Pietru. "You should sniff her and find out."

"I'm not inhaling someone while they sleep! That's what perverts do!"

"Don't be a baby, Huan!"

Reluctantly, Leon padded through the snow to the lady's side. She was so beautiful she could have been painted by a god of art, her chest slowly rising and falling as she slept. Now that he was closer he could see a silver circlet around her brow, holding her hair back from her face.

"Hello?" Leon sniffed her, then gently nudged her with the tip of his nose. "Are you okay?" She stirred a little, but didn't wake. "No dice, guys." Her eyes suddenly snapped open, scaring the bejesus out of him. "FRICKETY FRACKETY FUCK!"

Her eyes were a brilliant shade of purple, so incredible they eclipsed every precious stone he had ever seen. As he frantically backed away she rose to her feet, revealing herself to be a spectacular two metres tall. She snapped her fingers, replacing her dress with another; it was still white but patterned all over with pink diamonds, and slightly showed off her shoulders and cleavage with a slit that exposed one leg.

"D'aww!" She instantly squealed on spotting Leon, whisking him off his feet with a yelp and cuddling him like a stuffed toy. "You are just the cutest little thing!"

Despite her apparent strength she was extremely gentle, and Leon found himself relaxing into her embrace. "Damn, this feels nice."

"Huan!" Olivia lunged to his rescue, not immediately certain why she was so pissed off. "Let go of him now!"

The woman immediately did as she asked, dumping Leon into the snow and leaving a dog shaped hole to mark the spot. "You are gorgeous!" She clapped the surprised fairy's hands in her own, their noses almost touching. Olivia was keenly aware of the lovely lady's breath on her lips. "You look like a woodland nymph out of a storybook!"

She began petting her hair and squishing her cheeks, shoving the fairy's face into her breasts. She was forced to admit that Leon was right: this did feel nice.

"Is that a cat?" The woman released her and grabbed Pietru before she could get away, shrinking her against her will to her minimum size. The Dragon Reaper struggled until the woman began to pet her, purring as her leg kicked helplessly.

Olivia fell to her hands and knees, her face bright red as she panted heavily. Leon hauled himself out of the snow and shook himself dry, then looked at her with the canine equivalent of a wry grin.

"She smells amazing, doesn't she?"

"She does smell amazing!"

Sir Onemore attempted to rush to their aid, but ended up tripping and face-planting into the snow. "What the devil is this?" Given what they knew about his history, it was possible he had never seen snow in his life; Leon was vaguely amused by this, as he knew from his past life that comets were made of ice.

"Ah!" exclaimed the woman. Pietru was turning to jelly as she scratched her chin. "How rude of me. I am Silver, Witch of Snow."

"Hello," smiled Olivia awkwardly. "I'm… uh… My name is Olivia. It's nice to meet you."

"I go by Huan, at the minute." The wolfdog nodded at the spangly knight, who had finally picked himself up and was gracelessly tromping through the snow. "That over there is Sir Moissa Onemore, my loyal knight and part time bracelet. The dragon is Pietru."

"It is most wonderful to make your acquaintance," the witch smiled radiantly. She curtsied with perfect grace and poise. "For too long I have slumbered as the Dream Beast fed on my nightmares. You have my undying gratitude."

"Huan!" Olivia hissed. "She called herself a witch! Should we be worried?"

"You know I can hear you, right?"

The fairy immediately turned bright red. "I-I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to be rude!"

Silver laughed demurely behind one hand. "That's quite alright. I understand that witches do not have the best reputation." Her purple eyes turned on Leon, who wagged his tail nervously. "I haven't seen one of you in a while. I was under the impression that your species was extinct!"

Leon's ears perked up. "My species? Wait, so you… y-y-you know what I am?"

She cocked her head with an expression of mild confusion, reminding him (oddly) of Olivia. "Of course! I am very knowledgeable in…" Silver trailed off. She walked up to the wolfdog and leaned over him, her beauty and incredible height making it one of the most intimidating things that had ever happened to him. "Are you perhaps a human?"

"Yes," blinked Leon. "Good eye."

"Would you like me to turn you back?"

The wolfdog, the fairy, the knight and the dragon all stopped what they were doing and stared at her. "You can do that?"

"Sure!" Silver beamed. "Of course, it would only be in the context of a dream. In real life you would still need a proper cure."

"That's better than nothing! Honestly, only five minutes with thumbs would-"

Leon was cut off as the white witch snapped her fingers, turning him abruptly back into a human. He was, of course, completely naked: Olivia's eyes almost bugged out of her head at the sight as Silver looked him up and down, her lip curled upward in an involuntary smirk. "Would you believe me if I said this wasn't on purpose?"

"Woah! What the-" There was a moment of stunned surprise before Leon covered himself, giving Olivia just enough time to burn the sight into her mind forever. Even with his hands over the good stuff it was a shockingly nice view; between Leon's combat training and his work on the fields he had developed muscles that the canon love interests didn't know they had, meaning his body was actually better than all of them put together. "Why am I naked? WHY AM I NAKED?"

Olivia's hands were clasped over her mouth, the heat spreading to the tips of her ears. Her eyes were so wide it bordered on a medical emergency. "Hwa wa," she said intelligently. "Hwa wawa."

Silver smiled and placed her hand on her shoulder, leaning down to whisper tantalisingly in her ear. "You are a lucky, lucky girl, do you know that?"

"WHY in the HELL am I NAKED?"

Apparently having had enough of an eyeful, Silver snapped her fingers; suddenly Leon was wearing a stylish black outfit, more suitable for a main character than himself. Pietru - who had since escaped the witch's grasp and returned to her true size - gave him an odd look. "Why are you freaking out? You've been naked since the day we met and it's never been a problem before."

Leon looked at Olivia, cringing as she avoided his gaze. "Well, for starters, I think that just ruined our friendship!"

"Can't have that!" Silver snapped her fingers again, this time causing her and Olivia's clothes to vanish.

"Why?" Leon screamed. He threw his hands over his eyes, but couldn't resist peeking through his fingers: Olivia's soft, voluminous body contrasted with Silver's perfect, toned figure, creating a vista of curves that made him very, very glad that they could no longer see his body react. It was like they had both been specifically sculpted with his preferences in mind. Ninety out of ten, holy shit. "What does this even achieve?"

Olivia shrieked and covered herself, glaring at the witch only to immediately get distracted by the view. "Why aren't you covering yourself?"

"Why should I?" Silver demanded, placing her hand on her hip and puffing out her chest proudly. "Name one part of my body I should be ashamed of!"

Shit. She had her there.

"I'm not involved with this," announced Moz. He had covered his eyes and turned around for good measure. "They're all yours, Boss!"

Silver smiled and took Olivia by the chin, tilting her head to meet her eyes; the fairy began desperately trying not to look at her chest. "Rest assured," she whispered sensually. "You have nothing we wouldn't want to see."

Why? Why was this woman so pretty?

"Should I leave you kids alone?" Leon now sounded more amused than embarrassed. "I can hide behind the tree if you like."

Her arousal was instantly replaced with embarrassed anger. "Shut up, Leon!" He cowered in a mock-wimpy fashion as she began slapping at him, her clothes having reappeared at one point. It took her a moment to realise that she had called him by his real name; she took a closer look at his face, which had been torn to pieces by Elodach the last time she had seen it. "What's wrong with your eyes?"

Leon's human face had huge, dark rings around his eyes; he cringed self-consciously, making Olivia instantly regret bringing it up. "Stress and exhaustion, mostly. My family is technically nobility, but… but we're not doing so great, economically speaking. It leaves a mark." He rubbed his chin ruefully. "Disappointed?"

For a moment, Olivia cocked her head and just looked at him. While she would admit that the three stupidheads were better looking, there was just something about Leon's face she liked more. It perfectly encapsulated the person she had gotten to know over the past few days - his sarcasm, his wit, his humour, his humility, his self-deprecation, his self-doubt, his bitterness and the warm, fuzzy soul at the heart of it all - and represented him perfectly.

"No," she smiled. "I like it."

Suddenly, Leon was the one blushing to his ears.

"Alrighty then!" Silver chirruped. Thankfully, she too was now fully dressed. "Now, let's see about giving the two of you your reward!"

"Reward?" Moz finally felt safe enough to uncover his eyes and turn back around. "Are we talking about something else now?"

"What kind of reward?" Leon asked suspiciously. He was keenly aware that, as a human, he was nowhere near as invincible as he used to be. "Will this cost us our souls?"

Silver laughed in a voice like Christmas bells. "What on earth would I do with a soul?" she giggled. "Please, give me your hands."

Pietru flared her wings in the background, clearly ready to act if she had to. The witch just smiled with affection and gratitude, grasping Leon's left hand and Olivia's right. For the first time since their arrival a breeze picked up; white flowers began to sprout out of the snow, spreading in all directions as Pietru and Onemore watched in awe.

"Thank you," said Silver, with absolute sincerity. "You saved me when I thought I could never be saved. To the both of you, I give my blessing; the snow, the ice, the cold, the winter itself shall guide and protect you. For as long as I am grateful, so too shall they love you. Always, into oblivion."

Both now had white markings where her fingers had touched; they were like snowflakes, cast in extraordinary detail. The two markings were slightly different, and Olivia's was on the back of her right hand while Leon's was on his left palm.

"Thanks?" Leon decided to say. "That was… uh… very generous of you."

"It's lovely!" Olivia gushed, holding her hand up to the light so she could admire it. "I'm never wearing gloves again!"

Silver smiled fondly, petting her hair affectionately. "Think nothing of it." She turned back to Leon, her smile slightly fading. "Tell me, have either of you heard of a man named Elodach?"

Immediately, she had their undivided attention. "We have," nodded Leon cautiously. "How did you…"

"It has come to my attention - even in my endless slumber - that he is responsible for the creation of several UnFae." Silver was no longer smiling; from the look on her face, she may have been the only person besides Olivia and Leon himself who understood what that meant. "Are you aware of how they are made?"

"I'm not sure what it's like for UnFae elsewhere," shrugged Leon. "But I'm certain most of the ones in Holfort are made with the Harp of Dreams."

A great rumbling went through the earth, causing Pietru and Moz to take defensive positions around them. An enormous harp of a bizarre, organic material erupted from the ground, its strings extending up into the distant clouds above.

"You mean this?" Silver smiled mournfully.

The immense strings strummed on their own, but instead of music they made a female voice. It rasped as though she had been screaming, and she constantly sounded like she was about to burst into tears. "You have guessed wisely, oh Strongarm. I am the Spirit of the Harp, my true self trapped on the very ground where your own body sleeps."

"I don't understand," said Pietru. She had slightly ducked her upper body, clearly afraid but still willing to fight if she had to. "What are you? What do you have to do with the UnFae?"

"My power is the power to control dreams," the Harp proclaimed. "Only a fairy may play my strings, but at the cost of their happiness, of their magic, of their very soul. Elodach has turned the means into an end, corrupting five innocent souls into depravity for depravity's sake. He had no need for the dreams I weave, so instead he created nightmares out of cruelty and spite. Hence his title: Master of Nightmares. Five times have the people of Holfort been plagued by his horrors, each time heralding a new UnFae. One of them mutated while their hands were still on my strings, becoming a Queen-Mother. So decreed Elodach: suffer, that you may add to my glory."

Leon swallowed the bile back into his throat. He wasn't fully clear on what the transformation into a Queen-Mother looked like, but he could assume it wasn't pretty. "The Queen-Mother is dead. He only has four UnFae left."

The Harp began to cry; partly from gratitude and partly from raw, unfiltered trauma. "Thank you," she sobbed. "But you must kill the other four, and also their master, lest he create a sixth, and a seventh, and beyond. Do so, and I shall tell you how to return to human form."

"You can do that?" blurted Olivia. "But… But we already…"

"You have a cure lined up," nodded Silver. "We know. We are beings of dreams and slumber; such things are easy for us to learn. But ask yourself: what is this promised cure? Is it a spell? A potion? An artefact? Perhaps a book of secrets to instruct the young fairy in her path?"

"We have no idea," shrugged Leon, feeling a little sheepish at Pietru's incredulous look. "It was just the only option we had."

"Regardless of whether this cure exists, Elodach will still stand in your way," Silver pointed out. "Know that, once he is defeated, you will have an alternative waiting for you. Just do what you were already going to do."

While he felt like she had a point, having a biblically accurate version of an established Artefact of Doom from the game show up in front of him and ask for a favour set off instant red flags. "Okay," said Leon slowly. "I guess I can do that."

"Thank you," whispered the Harp. "Rejoice, for now I shall reveal your future."

A chill went up Leon's spine at the sick feeling of deja vu. "No, you really don't need to do that!"

The Harp's voice rose ominously. "I foresee three people! They are the Harbingers, and though none of them are your enemy they shall each nudge your destiny off its course! When you have met all three a great, unavoidable tragedy shall await you!"

"I know already," interrupted Leon. "The Greatest Wolf to Ever Draw Breath is going to kill me before the end of the year. I already know where and when."

"I think you're misunderstanding," said Silver. "The afterlife is real, and if you want to delay your passage while you wait for your loved ones then that's perfectly okay. Death as it is commonly understood is a myth: it is simply a transference from one plane of existence to the next."

"Really?" Olivia perked up. "So Huan… So Mr Leon and I can eventually…"

"Except the Harp didn't say anything about death," Silver reminded her gently. "She said tragedy."

Leon felt a cold hole open up inside him. It was like he was back in Abbot Laurent's office, staring at the floor.

"I shall not tell you what this tragedy is," proclaimed the Harp. "For it is too terrible to utter aloud. But I shall reveal the Harbingers to you, one by one, that you might avoid it." A blurry image appeared over the sea of flowers, that they watched with rapt attention. "Behold: the first Harbinger!"

When the figure became visible, Leon initially couldn't believe his eyes. "Aesik? W-What… Why is he…"

"Do you not remember?" the Harp asked solemnly. "Do you not remember the errand that Aesik Griffith asked of you? Because of this task, you entered the Oak Leaf Contest. Because of this Contest, you cured Iven of his madness. Because you did this, Elodach came out of hiding. Because of his emergence, Olivia was placed in danger. Because you tried to save her, your current form was forced upon you. Cause and effect." Aesik disappeared as the image changed. "Behold: the second Harbinger!"

A familiar figure in gaudy armour appeared. The Comet General dropped his sword and shield in shock. "Is that me?" Moz demanded shrilly. "Am I… Am I going to be responsible for…"

"Not yet," the Harp declared. "You have not yet altered his fate."

"Then there is still time!" Sir Onemore grabbed his sword off the ground, flipping it into a reverse grip. "For the God Hound!"

Pietru slapped her paw down on him before he could do anything drastic. "Calm down, idiot! You're not helping!"

"Unhand me, dragon!" Moz shouted melodramatically. "I must end my miserable life before it is too late!"

"What if the cosmic nudge she's talking about is your suicide?" Pietru suggested. "Did you ever think about that?"

Onemore stopped struggling. "Actually, no."

The Harp must have gotten sick of him, because she was already pulling up the final image. "Behold: the third Harbinger!"

The final Harbinger was an attractive young woman, her white hair hanging down to her waist. She had brown skin, both from her tan and her natural pigmentation, and was wearing the exotic clothing of the militant desert nation of Xek.

"Who the hell is that?" Leon wondered. Olivia gave him an odd look.

"Why are you asking me? Aren't you the Knower of Secrets?"

"Not all secrets!"

"I have shown you the faces of all three Harbingers," the Harp announced tiredly. "Please… you must… defeat…"

The immense harp faded from view, until only the five of them remained. Silver gave Leon an impish smile, tilting her head and pressing one finger against her cheek. "I believe we are out of time. Leon Fou Bartfort shall soon wake up and carry the rest of you away from this place, while Huan the God Hound shall awaken."

Leon knew she was right. One by one, Olivia, Pietru and Moz winked out of existence. "Wait. Back when I fought Elodach, Olivia didn't heal me as much as revive me. I'm pretty sure I was dead for a little while, and as I passed away it felt like… like three pairs of arms all embracing me at once." He looked Silver in the eye, her ambiguous smile never wavering. "Was one of them you?"

"It is how such things work," she admitted pleasantly. "First comes Sleep, then Fate, then Death. The first to embrace you was me."

The world was starting to shimmer out of focus. Leon could feel his waking self stir, his body still not his own. "When the Wolf comes for me," he asked quietly. "Will I see you again?"

Silver's smile became sad, her purple eyes shimmering before she regained control of herself. "Yes, you will," she whispered, almost too low for him to hear. "I'm sorry."

Leon jolted awake on a bed in the Monastery's infirmary, Moz once more attached to his leg in the form of a bracelet. Olivia was in the seat next to him, Pietru curled up on her lap. "Tell me I didn't dream all that."

"I saw it too," nodded the Elder Dragon. "So this is what the monks deal with every day, huh? No wonder they latched onto you."

"Maybe it wasn't real," suggested Moz hopefully. "Maybe the Master was having a nightmare and we all got sucked into it?"

Because Leon was once more the only person who understood him, he looked at his left paw pad; sure enough, the glowing snowflake was still there. "I doubt it."

At that moment the three numbskulls kicked in the door, startling Leon so badly he rolled and fell off the bed with a yelp. "Guys!" Julius shouted. "We gave the Axe to Wid and he passed out! We think he's dying!"

"He's not dying!" Olivia snapped crankily. "He told us before we entered the catacombs that he needed the Axe to fight off his visions! Clearly that's what he's doing!"

"You weren't there," said Chris, pushing his glasses up his nose. "He fell to the floor, death on his blah blah blah…"

"Ignore them," said Leon. "I have his scent. Let's go and see if he's woken up yet."

Olivia followed as he padded out of the room, Pietru fluttering onto his back as he passed. The confused pretty boys trailed after him, and when they finally tracked the monk down they made various exclamations of surprise that Leon ignored.

Brother Wid was in the Library Gardens as they approached, already deep in conversation with Novice Sama. "Ah! Lord Huan!" He casually placed his arm around her shoulders, either because they were in a relationship or to keep her from running away. "These are the brave adventurers who helped me. I promised to introduce them to you if they retrieved the Axe of Ikus."

The Novice was a plain girl with freckles and ginger hair, and was clutching a large book to her chest. She narrowed her eyes at them and scowled. "What do you want?"

Jilk immediately bristled, and had to be physically restrained by the Prince. Olivia stepped forward before he could say anything inflammatory. "Brother Eamon is looking for you," she began. "We-"

"Is he?" The girl's defiant attitude dissolved into teary eyed panic. "He mustn't find me! He mustn't learn about the book!" She glanced around cautiously before leaning in close; by now Wid looked worried, but looked uncertain as to what he should say. "Please don't tell anyone. Swear to me you won't tell anyone."

"I swear," promised Olivia. She was the protagonist, which made it very difficult to doubt her when she gave her word. "Now please, tell us what's wrong. Maybe we can help; Brother Wid can vouch for us if you like."

Sama looked up at her boyfriend, who nodded and placed his hand reassuringly on her arm. This seemed to satisfy her, as she began to tell her story. "I was in the Abbot's tower, helping the Prioress, when I overheard the Abbot talking upstairs. He asked Master Ean to return a book to the Great Library. The book sat on a table not far from where I worked, but when he left the tower, Master Ean forgot about his errand!"

Knowing what they did now about the madness inducing effects of the Monastery's books, the group stared at her in horror. "You didn't…" whispered Julius.

"I grabbed the book and ran after him," she rushed out. "I wanted to call out, 'Master Ean! You forgot the book!' But something stopped me. I stood in the courtyard, holding this book in my hand, and all I wanted to do was read it! I knew I'd be punished if I did, but I couldn't help myself!"

"Why?" Chris wondered aloud. "Why, when you knew that the mere act could kill you, would you still read…"

He trailed off at the look she gave him. "Only an outsider would ask such a question. For three years I've been a Novice, and three more years I must wait to enter the Great Library! Three years! And here was my chance to have the very thing I'd waited for my whole life!"

"Did you read it?" Wid asked grimly; she averted her eyes guiltily. "Sama, did you read it?"

"No! Not at first!" she blurted. "I hid the book away where no one would find it. Every chance I found, I'd sneak away to look at the book, to feel the leather binding and touch the vellum pages. I watched the shifting words, but I did not read them. Not at first."

Brother Wid covered his eyes with his hand. "Oh, Sama…"

"I was afraid." She began staring into the middle distance, much as her boyfriend had during their first meeting. "The words are very dangerous. Madness, despair and death are the curse for the mind that's unprepared. But I had no power against the lure of the book."

"What was it like?" Jilk asked curiously, immediately getting concerned looks from everyone around him. "What?"

"Many glyphs were strange to me, and they shifted before I had a chance to read them. The words began to burn into my mind, and I could neither sleep nor eat. In every shadow of the island I saw phantoms of the dead: monks and knights, kings and queens. I knew the words would kill me if I did not surrender the book."

"Why?" Wid beseeched. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

Sama gave a harsh, miserable bark of laughter. "How? Until today you were wrestling with visions of your own! Any other monk would have banished me, and if they made me leave then I would have nowhere to go. If I cannot live on Canaria, then I will not live at-"

She was abruptly interrupted as Leon grew in size, savagely biting the spectres of a troupe of knights as they snuck up behind her. The others were taken aback by his brutality as he tore them to pieces, and soon the spirits were fleeing for their lives.

"Do you want some of this?" Leon screamed after them. "DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?" He shrank back to his regular size, shooting Olivia a smug look. "Who's afraid of ghosts now, huh?"

"That was a panic response, wasn't it?"

"Shut the hell up." He turned back to Wid and Sama, both of whom looked positively starstruck. "Novice Sama: can you understand me, yes or no?"

"Yes!" Sama stood ramrod straight. "Yes, sir!"

"Perfect." He nodded at the fairy. "Give the book to the lady next to me. Olivia, you should find a monk at the entrance to the Great Library. His name is Brother Morhan: give him the book and tell him the truth, that it was left in the tower by either the Abbot or the Chamberlain."

"Got it." Olivia took the book from Sama's hands, though she needed Wid's help prying her fingers away. Leon waited until she was out of sight.

"Sama, you and Wid are going to see Brother Eamon. You're going to tell him that the reason you haven't been able to focus is because your boyfriend has been struggling with his visions. Tell him not to worry, because ya boi Huan fixed it. And remember: you're very sorry for neglecting your studies and you're going to be twice as diligent going forward, because this whole business has taught you how important it is to be prepared before reading these things." He sat there for a moment staring down at them, having not yet bothered to return to his usual size. "Did you get all that?"

"Yessir!" Sama saluted, which Wid curiously emulated.

"Perfect," he nodded. "Make sure you bring these three meatheads with you: Eamon needs to give them that book he owes me."

Leon waited until he was alone with Pietru before shrinking down, flopping with a groan onto his belly. "This is WAY too much effort for a book about assholes."

The White Dragon nestled herself into his fur. "Of course, you realise there's probably going to be one of those Warmothers waiting for you when you leave, right?"

He sighed in a put upon sort of way. "The thought had crossed my mind, yeah."

Pietru glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the Great Library. "You're worried that's what he has planned for her, right? Olivia, I mean."

"It's a hypothetical scenario," grumbled Leon. "You were serious when you said she was the same kind of fairy as the Saint, right?"

"Yeah."

"The Warmother I scuffled with the night before I met you wasn't that tough. It could defend itself, sure, but the threat was mainly in the Warspawn. The idea is that if Elodach gets his hand on a specific type of fairy, one with the skills, the heritage or just the raw power to be a cut above the others, then it could mutate into something more. It would be something new. It would have to be… to be just as much of a threat as the Spawn it shit out. To be so dangerous that you just can't kill them before the Spawn overwhelm you. To be something that is to the UnFae what the Saint is to the fairies."

"An Archqueen," said Pietru.

"Yeah… Yeah, that's a good word for it," decided Leon.

"So is that your worst case scenario?" There was an uncomfortable silence. "Leon?"

"When I explained this thought experiment to you, you gravitated to the word Queen. A Queen-Mother - the kind that has nothing to do with Elodach - ultimately has one real superpower: the ability to reproduce. All of them, Queen-Mothers, Warmothers, Archqueens, that's still their main role. That's why, as a unit, the Spawn should always be the bigger threat."

She wasn't sure where he was going with this. "So?"

"So what if an Archqueen wins the lottery. Rolls three sixes. Scores the one in a million chance of mutating in just the right way. What if it becomes so dangerous that its Spawn just can't be more dangerous than it already is? If that happens, then there's only one possibility: for the Archqueen to produce more of itself. For those Archqueens to then produce more Archqueens, creating an infinitely multiplying army of invincible monsters. The End of Evolution."

"The Archlegion."

A shiver went down his spine. He had to admit, Pietru was better at coming up with names than he was. "Right," he muttered. "So no matter what Elodach throws at us, it doesn't matter: that is our worst case scenario."

"Hey, guys!" Olivia had returned, her sunny smile bringing a welcome change in atmosphere. "I met someone who wants to talk to you!"

Walking calmly beside her was a female monk; she was wearing the same baggy green robes as Miala and Qelah, and had vaguely Asian features. By the standards of the game world that meant she was from Darhan, like Jinyan.

"Greetings, Lord Huan," she bowed gracefully. "I am Sister Bilan of Nahul."

Ah, shit. Another sidequest. "So when you say Nahul, you mean as in…"

"As in the nomad kingdom on the northern steppes of Darhan, yes," nodded Bilan. Yep. Definitely the same person.

"I'm guessing that your father was a revered holy man."

"Yes!" Bilan seemed pleasantly surprised. "Truly, your reputation as the Knower of Secrets is well deserved."

"Hold it doggy," interjected Pietru. "You may know the details in advance but we don't. Mind if we get some context?"

"Right. Sorry. Please go on."

Bilan gave him a modest incline of the head. "When Emperor Sun Hai took power, he enslaved his people to build the city of New Kunlun out of Lost Technology. My father spoke out against him: 'No man should be slave to another' my father said. 'No man may claim dominion over heaven.' For this, the soldiers tortured and murdered him."

Olivia gave her a compassionate look. "I'm so sorry," she said emphatically. "Are you sure you want to talk about this?"

Sister Bilan gave her a sad smile. "I'm fine, but thank you." She continued her story. "One of my father's disciples took me into hiding. He knew that I would not be safe so long as Sun Hai ruled, so he brought me here. He knew that no one would ever harm me under the protection of Canaria's monks."

She pulled a scroll from her sleeve.

"The man who saved me was a Holfort man named Tathal. He was a wanderer, and I do not know whether he is alive or dead. If you should meet him on your journey, give him this scroll."

Onemore shifted into his true form, accepting the Nahul Scroll with all the courtesy of a knight. "I shall bear this scroll until we find your friend. I swear it on my honour."

The scroll disappeared into the gem on his chest, giving him just enough time for one last bow before he morphed back into a bracelet. "Thank you," bowed Sister Bilan. "That scroll contains the teachings of my father. Tathal will ensure they live on."

She made to leave, then paused as she seemed to remember something.

"Are you by any chance curious as to the condition of Lady Canaria?"

"A little," admitted Leon. "How's she doing?"

"Not great. The Prioress was forced to medicate her heavily. She is unconscious, for now, but if you plan on staying in the Monastery overnight then you may have an opportunity to speak with her tomorrow morning, should you be so inclined."

Leon cocked his head cutely. "I'll… bear that in mind, actually. Thanks."

Sister Bilan bowed one last time before leaving. Pietru shot Leon a curious look. "She was talking about the quarter sea serpent girl you found below ground, correct? What are you planning on asking her?"

"Honestly? I'm just curious about this Twin Pupils character."

It was at this point that the idiots arrived, waving a familiar book above their heads. "Mission accomplished!" Julius declared. "Volume 67 of the Encyclopaedia of Heresies, as ordered!"

"And to think, a book just like this almost ruined that girl's life," mused Jilk.

"This is why I don't read books," nodded Chris.

Julius, Jilk and even Leon nodded in agreement, causing Olivia to roll her eyes and scoff. "Men!" she snorted. "Someone told us that we can see Lady Canaria if we're willing to stay the night. Does that sound okay with you?"

"Definitely!" Chris gushed. "Can we?"

"I don't see why not," said Julius brightly. "What's the worst that could happen?"

It was at this moment that the freezing axe dramatically returned, falling out of the sky and embedding itself in the ground. A brand new letter was tied to its hilt. "Is that a letter from the Queen?" Jilk wondered.

Leon's tail began to wag furiously. "What does it say? What does it say?"

Julius removed the message and unfurled it, revealing four letters in block capitals.

GET BACK HERE NOW

Julius looked blankly at the letter, the familiar fear that all boys feel for their mothers creeping across his face. "Damn, Jules!" Leon laughed. "Four legs and a waggy tail, and somehow it's you who's in the doghouse!"

Side Quest: Novice Sama

Summary: The second of two side quests that you can complete without ever leaving Iona Monastery. From a game design standpoint it's really quite clever: you enter the Monastery and Eamon is the first person you see, prompting you to talk to him and accept his quest. Sama is feet away from Wid, leading you into accepting the Wid the Terrified quest which can be completed in the very next dungeon. The Axe of Ikus is the first quest item that needs to be appraised, forcing you to invest in the Appraise skill; this is useful because the Catacombs contain the Chainmail and the Sword of Spirits, both high end equipment that also needs to be appraised to be used. It is a clever, intuitive way of introducing the Appraisal mechanic into the game.

Silver and the other Primordial Witches comes from the Chinese novel I'm Really Not the Demon God's Lackey. It's left ambiguous whether or not they are really witches or goddesses in their home novel, but here? Wait and see.

The Harp of Dreams originated from the Chains of Satinav; as it is here, it acted as the source of the UnFae. The antagonist, a blind seer, needs the dreams it generates to see the future, making the nightmarish underlings a mere happy accident. There is a very good reason why she and Silver know each other. Can you guess what it is?