Ulbert Alaine Odle's revealed his last machination.
[Message] Oi, Touch-san! I'm here with the challenger. You can still bail out, of course.
Ulbert laughed, while Touch-me hissed and cut him off.
[Guild Message]
Hey guys, the time has come! Get out here to see our friend's first loss!
Hohoho, so Oshikuru's really here? This is gonna be epic!
Shut up! I'm doing serious stuff here! Wait, what? Touch's duel was today?! Omw!
I'm coming… wait for meee!
How dare you, Ulbert Alaine Odle! I'll slap some sense back into your head!
Indeed, whose side are you on, Ulbert?! How can you speak of Touch me like that!"
Don't you worry guys, Touch-san will win before you know it.
Oh my, this is gonna be sooo fun!
Oi Ulbert, don't you dare lose to this guy up there. I'll be the first one to win against you!
Oh shit, it's happening! Buku and I were about to start a quest! We're teleporting back right now!
Ulbert's head was exploding with 40 voices shouting at the same time.
Now I know why nobody ever uses [Guild Message]: I feel like I'm going crazy! Ok guys, y'all have five minutes to get your asses up here. Ulbert, out! [End Guild Message].
He lightly stomped his goat hooves on the ground, as if that could shake off the echoes of the voices inside his head.
"Oshikuru-san, they're coming! Please don't let me down, I want to see you mow the grass with his mouth!"
"Hahahahaha, what a colourful image. You really can't stand this guy, can you?"
Ulbert inhumanly smiled, but chose to keep silent. Instead, he spread his demonic wings and flew up in the sky, stopping about 50 m above the ground and conjuring an oddly shaped camera right next to him.
In the meantime, the whole of Ainz Ooal Gown started appearing on ground level. Most teleported, but a few just walked out of the mausoleum after crossing the tomb. Oshikuru focused on those.
The Guildmaster Momonga, Ancient One, Warrior Takemikazuchi and Punitto Moe, gathered around my enemy. As expected. Ulbert said those four would never vote for me if I defeated Touch-me. They're probably his best buddies, giving a last minute pep talk. Too bad it's not gonna work. You shall go down, my dear "Touch me if you can", for I will definitely touch you!
Wait, that came out wrong. Sounds gae. And creepy!
Well, it's not like anyone can read my thoughts! Anyway, I hope it'll be a great duel. Zeus was quite disappointing, I mean wtf bro, you got the most OP weapon in the game and you can't hit me with it not even once! Tch, tch, tch. What a waste. He's lucky I don't like tridents or it'd be in my inventory rn. Well, from what I've seen, this guy should be the real deal: the way he fights is close to mine, his moves are just not as fast and as powerful, also I could predict what he was gonna do more often than not. Now, let's see if I can get into his head. I'm sure Ulbert, Lucifer and that other guy… what was his name? well, they'll appreciate me taunting Touch just a little bit."
Before messing with him, Oshikuru focused his gaze to study the opponent. The bad eye of the samurai had no difficulty in assessing hus gear. The Paladin was wielding Earth Recovery, a little but absurdly resistant Divine Class shield. Still, it dealt zero damage and as such it would only be a matter of time before Cutter I and Cutter II would tear it apart. The broadsword was a Divine Class item as well, and a quite dangerous one as its lunge was far greater than Cutter I and Cutter II, and seemed to be almost as sharp but stronger, having more data than the twin katanas combined, although Oshikuru already knew about it. What surprised him was Touch Me wearing a shining full body platinum white armour, which the bad eye acknowledged as a World Champion Item.
The motherfucker definitely brought his best stuff from the start. The fuck! This is not an official tournament where you show off, what's wrong with him! Well, I had already decided to mock him by keeping this and not my own World-Champion armour no matter what. So be it!
But I do need a weapon I can use to cut through that shiny piece of metal. The fuck is he doing with it by the way, it seems to radiate a pure, divine light and the chest piece is way too large. Why did the shitty devs put a huge sapphire on a World-Champion Class armour anyway? People use that stuff to fight the toughest battles, do they know how much does it cost to repair th… Ah, of course they do! SHITTY SHITTY DEVS! Still, that'd look good on a Seraphim, but on a heteromorph? Seriously? It's like a pig wearing a wedding dress.
He bit his lip not to burst out laughing just thinking about that.
Back to business, can my katanas deal enough damage over time to slash through it? Probably, but if instead they're getting shattered I'm gonna lose my mind! Repairing them would require three months of my current gaming budget. Although it would be nice to reforge and wield "the blades that were broken" … No, no shit, let's find a better idea!
I wonder… shall I use a Wish-Upon-A-Star from the start to make sure his armour will be broken by my katanas and not the opposite? That'd settle it, but it might be overkill, besides I have already used one slot because of that World Enemy… no, at least not at first. Maybe later, or not at all. Spending more money on the game at this point is definitely not on my wish list!
But that's off topic. Then what? Only the King-Kong Gauntlets and the One Hundred Tons Hammer would work if I'm going for some bludgeoning damage… even the Super Strong Rocket Gauntlets are not gonna do shit on a World Champion armour… but no way I'm gonna use those while wearing historically accurate stuff!
Hmmm… I do have a few items which might be effective if he really is an insectoid like my insider claimed, even if he could not be specific. I'd love to make some experiments with the Weathergirl Stick, Random Spheres and Tidal Gauntlets or T.O.T.G.U.S.S., but that'd kill my Edo-period vibes… only the Cane-Sword would not go all the way out of my current style, but it should be the least effective one against him and it would force me to fight while flying for at least a while. I'd rather avoid it since I don't want to bring the fight into the air or it'd be too dangerous for our audience as well… Damn it, why would they get in the way!? Couldn't they wait in the tomb? Ah whatever…
There's always Cutter III the Invisible Death, but I always feel like using it in a duel is cheating, unless I'm facing a World Enemy, so no to that one either. That leaves only the odachi & kodachi then. Really? Shall I be using my newest blades, the best of the best from the start? At this point I might reveal my dark side and my world items from the beginning! The hell am I even thinking, I'm never gonna do something like that. That's definitely not me.
I guess I'll keep it simple and see what he can do, as usual, building up on that. Wait, am I starting to be a little too predictable? Or is it just common sense to do it this way and it'd be foolish to act differently? They say Punitto Moe is the greatest strategist ever, and he's right there whispering into my foe's ear. Not good. But even if he knows about that, what can he do? Using his best move immediately? I'm confident I can avoid it, but if they made a clever strategy and somehow that blast hits me, I'll be forced to go to the dark side… well, why not, after that he's got nothing else! If this is how you wanna play it, fine with me, bring it on!
But first, let's have some fun!
Oshikuru cleared his throat.
"I've been waiting for you, Touch me-kun. Took you quite a while to get out here, and I see your ugly cheerleaders are still going at it. Still afraid? Want mummy? I think I saw a monster in the swamp looking like her, but it was definitely not fat enough."
Some booed, but most were entertained by the first trash-talking line. Ulbert and Lucifer laughed so hard they almost fell from the sky.
Touch me seemed to be more irritated by those two's reaction rather than his rival's taunt. The champion of Ainz Ooal Gown was not a rash man, but not a pushover either, so he decided to play along for the time being.
"Will you look at that! I expected a true hero, but I hear words only a spoiled child would utter. At least you have good taste in the choice of armour and weapons, even if they're clearly not good enough to save you from certain defeat. Here I am, taking my time while speaking with my dear friends, while you've come here all alone. Your path is lonely and once I crush you nobody will help you to get back up!"
Almost all of Ainz Ooal Gown cheered for Touch Me as he got closer to the challenger.
"Yawn! you speak like an old man. So it's true you're just a geezer! Very well then, bend the knee and I'll spare you from the shame of being defeated in front of all your friends, after all one must respect the elders. Otherwise, you'll have to cover your face with that cape you use in winter to stop your old bones' shivering!"
That crimson cape's actually quite cool. Short enough not to get in the way, and with nice buffs too. Should I get myself one of those?
This time Touch did grumble, while his opponent grinned. Both ignored the reaction from the people up above. Just like the rest of the world, it started to disappear as the two slowly started dancing around each other. The tension rose.
"I've never been defeated by fighters much greater than you, and I'd never bow before someone who is inferior to me not only by skill, but race too! You're just a lowly human! Unless you're hiding something worthy behind that scarred eye and that pale skin. What is it? Nothing at all? I have no secrets, while you hide behind lies. I am a true fighter and I will not lower myself to deal with a weakling! Show your true self or bow your head and flee while you still can!"
"Hahahaha! old man, trust me, if you knew my true self you'd be running back to Nazarick in the blink of an eye! I must hide my real nature, especially in a duel, otherwise my opponents would be too afraid to properly fight! Still, it's true you've never been defeated in a duel and I respect that, but let me ask you this. Have you ever faced a World Enemy all alone? Because I did, and succeeded. That's why two World Champions like yourself refused to fight against me. And that's why the other six I have faced already fell like flies. Do you seriously believe you have a chance against me? I'm here to do you a favour. Soon the shitty devs will put on a show by making a tournament among all World Champions, but I won't join that pathetic charade! I wish not to show everyone how much stronger than anyone else I am. I will be satisfied by knowing I surpassed all of you. For I am the best of the best, and after I annihilate you I'll be able to look down on the entire Yggdrasil.
You're right, it's lonely at the top. But there can be only ONE above all others and that's ME!
Something below Oshikuru's closed eye twitched as he, more excited than ever, unsheathed Cutter I and Cutter II. He was ready, and the ground before him shook greatly with him just taking a stance, such were his physical stats.
Even Ulbert Alaine was surprised.
If that's not a skill, and I don't think so, I almost feel bad for Touch… that guy's a real menace.
But Touch Me's resolve was undaunted. Actually, he smiled and prepared to fight after delivering his last words.
"Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle shall be legendary!"
Beyond the trash talk, Touch felt the enigma in front of him was larger than life.
"The same aura a World Enemy gives off exuding from the weak body of a human... Impossible! He must be hiding a monster within, but how? Momonga, Ancient One and Punitto Moe used Anti-Illusion magic of the highest tier earlier to see through his masquerade, but couldn't pierce the veil! Then it should be an OP NPC, but the way he speaks… how can it not be a player? Either way, something's off. Whatever it is the shitty devs came up with this time, be it a bug he exploited or a new World Enemy, I'll see it through. And unlike what's in front of me, I won't be affected by a loss. I always knew there would be someone stronger than me, besides it's just a game! Beautiful, yes, but it's not real! IRL I have a family and a duty. That's what matters.
Still, if you think I won't give it all I've got, and beyond, you're very wrong, you freak! Nazarick knows no defeat, and what you're facing is not just me, but all of Ainz Ooal Gown! No matter all the tricks you've got up your sleeves, I've got more, for the power of 41 players is gathered upon me.
You'll be the one to fall!
Broadsword and shield in his hands, the undefeated champion of Ainz Ooal Gown leaped forth, zigzagging to catch his equally unbroken adversary off guard.
But Oshikuru did not stand still waiting for his opponent to come get him. He broke his stance and went after him to draw first blood while cold determination now flowed through him together with absolute confidence.
So I hope, truly. But I'm afraid that like Taj Lung who you quoted, you're not gonna be a real threat. After all, no player is to me as I am now. It'd be a fair fight only if all of your guildmates joined you in this fight! Only World Enemies used to give me a hard time. But not anymore. With my new weapons, I'm sure even those mountains will crumble, only the final boss might be tricky. But to you, my foe, who I see as the best player right after me, I'll give the chance to unveil my real power before I end you. Don't waste this chance and you'll earn my respect, Touch me-san.
He did not say it out loud, but he meant every word spoken into his head as his katanas met his rival's broadsword, starting the most unbelievable duel ever.