Chapter 32
Tommy
Somewhere in the Atlantic
April 15, 1912

Blood. All over his hands.

Fabrizio's eyes were unmoving, unseeing. Like the eyes of his brother when he had died in the streets of Dublin. Like the eyes of Cian and Nathan who had followed him blindly into the revolution.

He had already unleashed his anger on this officer. Murdoch was his name. He'd heard the crewmen whispering it as they were still preparing that damn collapsible lifeboat to launch. Nellie was beside him, her dark hair falling on Fabrizio's face as she leaned over him, a steady stream of tears falling onto his ashen cheeks.

"He's gone."

Tommy was hardly able to utter the words. Nellie's shoulders began to shake from grief. He clumsily put an arm around her, using his ability to comfort her to prevent him from bursting into tears himself.

"No, Will!"

As soon as another gunshot rang out, Tommy threw himself on Nellie. It had been a long time since he'd talked to God, but as he held Nellie under him, he prayed, Let them kill me. Just don't let any more innocent people die.

There was a splash and the crew looked towards the sea with horror, confirming the officer had killed himself. Although Tommy's ears were still ringing from the gunfire, the sound of rushing water could no longer be ignored. The other officer who was still manning the boat was allowing women and children to board at last. The crewmen who had been readying the boat were now creating a human barrier to prevent the crowd from swarming forward. The officer made an exception for a well dressed man and a small child, but with the proximity of the water, Tommy knew it was hopeless for himself at this point. Even if Nellie and he did board, the chance of survival would be slim with the boat still attached to the pulley system from the roof of the boat deck.

Nellie was looking at Tommy, still holding Fabrizio's lifeless body. She was looking to him for guidance, fear making it impossible for her to decide what to do next. The crowd around them had dispersed, either running from the approaching water or stampeding over the crewmen to the lifeboat. The women who were already seated in the boat began screaming, nearly toppling the flimsy boat over as they rushed to the center, trying to ward off those who were brave enough to try and wade through the icy water and jump in. Tommy knew he wouldn't be able to get on board, as the crewmen in the boat were throwing men overboard. The well-dressed gentlemen who had boarded with his child was trying to fend off approaching passengers with an oar. Tommy was disgusted watching the whole thing, not even caring as icy water began lapping around their feet.

As he was thinking this, he suddenly locked eyes with the well dressed man in the boat.

Cal Hockley.

That bastard. Not only was he probably one of the first people out on deck after the collision, but he had chosen to save himself above all the other women and children still stranded on board.

"Tommy! We have to go!"

Nellie was now standing, the icy water swirling around her knees as she was several inches shorter than he was. She nearly lost her balance between the force of the water and the many people fleeing around them. Tommy glanced behind them, where there were no boats and everyone was rushing to the stern. The only boat available was this flimsy collapsible barely floating in the water. He knew he didn't have a chance, but Nellie might be able to make it aboard being a woman.

Without hesitation, he scooped her up, flinging her over his shoulder.

"What are you–"

Using all of his strength, he pushed through the churning water to the tiny boat. He kept his eye on Cal Hockley and the oar he was using to push upcoming passengers away. If he dared try that on Tommy or Nellie, Tommy would pull him overboard without a second thought.

"I have a woman!" Tommy bellowed as he neared the boat, seeing how the crewmen were ready to toss him away. "Please! Her children need her!"

Tommy didn't even bother seeing how they responded to this, launching Nellie into the boat. She cried out, but the passengers in the boat swamped her, blocking her from sight as she made impact with a thwart. At last she was in the boat and Tommy would die knowing he saved at least one life in this mess.

"Tommy!"

Nellie had somehow made her way to the edge of the boat, holding her hand out. "Come on! There's plenty of room!"

"Shut up!"

Someone had grabbed Nellie and pulled her back. It was evident the others on board were afraid of capsizing. Even if Tommy had heeded her order, the water was so strong that he wouldn't have been able to climb aboard. The last thing he saw of her was her hand as he was knocked over.

Water filled his ears and the coldness of it took the very breath from his body. He lost his footing for a moment and began to panic, thinking he had been sucked out to the sea. But he was able to resurface, trying to grab at anything he could find to keep himself afloat. He grabbed at his chest, able to feel his grandfather's pocket watch underneath his lifebelt.

Shouts turned his attention back to the collapsible lifeboat. It was thankfully floating on the water, but still attached to the ship by its ropes. He felt at his pocket, realizing that he must have abandoned his small suitcase with his belongings below deck in their desperation to find a way out. His pocket knife must be in the ocean, rendering him useless as he watched the passengers desperately try to cut themselves free.

A wave of water pushed him under as he tried desperately to grab ahold of anything. If he was swept into the sea, that was it. His only chance of survival was to stay on this ship as long as possible.

In his struggle, he was able to grab a hold of a rope and resurface a second time, spitting water. Miraculously, it was one of the ropes securing Nellie's lifeboat to the Titanic. Several men were cutting the ropes in a panic, trying to keep the boat from capsizing as the water rose higher and higher. He couldn't see Nellie in the chaos, but he began fumbling at the ropes of the divots, willing his numb fingers to obey his command. He was somehow able to get it loose and with his remaining strength, ripping them away from the pulley. Without a sound, the boat was at last freed and floated away from the ship, the oars paddling madly to get as much distance from themselves and the Titanic.

With the lifeboat gone, he no longer had anything to hold onto, feeling the water push and pull him about. He knew that all was lost for him. This ship had only minutes left, and his only hope was to either swim to a boat, find debris to float on, or try and get back on the ship and stay put as long as possible.

Death seemed imminent. Far closer here in the Atlantic than it had ever been in the streets of Dublin.