Chapter 34
Nellie
Somewhere in the Atlantic
April 15, 1912

Water was sloshing into this flimsy lifeboat, wetting her clothes. The little girl next to her cried out in terror, clutching onto Nellie's skirts. Tommy was gone and she could no longer see him in the mass of passengers that were threatening to overturn the boat. As the water soaked her through, she shut her eyes and tightly held onto the small child next to her. She could only imagine the pain and suffering of being trapped in the ocean right now.

"No! You'll swamp us!"

Nellie's head shot up. Where had she heard that voice before? There were so many people surrounding her that it was impossible to see. She had to hold onto the child tightly with one hand while using the other to grip one of the thwarts of the boat, afraid they would capsize as they tilted dangerously to one side. When the boat evened out, a man fell over, nearly falling on top of her. He pushed his dark hair from his eyes before his mouth fell open slightly.

"Nellie?"

Cal Hockley grabbed the small girl next to her, sitting her down on his lap and shushing her. The girl continued to scream, not comforted by his actions. Nellie took her back, rocking her.

"I didn't know you had a child," Nellie said at last. The girl stopped crying and whimpered, holding onto her tightly.

Cal didn't answer, instead narrowing his eyes and grabbing an oar. The boat was finally beginning to drift away from Titanic's decks and she could tell from Cal's aggressive rowing that he was anxious to get away from the great ship. Nellie brought herself and the child to the edge of the lifeboat, pushing past other women and children so she could scan the faces she saw in the water, praying she wouldn't see Isla, Callen, Jock, or Leana. It only made her clutch the little girl in her arms tighter as she thought this. Why had Tommy thrown her into the boat when she didn't know where her children were?

Tommy.

She flew to the other side of the boat, the one closest to Titanic, leaving the small girl with another woman. Where was Tommy? He couldn't have gone far as the lifeboat was still just a few feet away from the ship's decks. She didn't know if her children were safe, but she couldn't abandon Tommy after he saved her life.

Passengers on deck were still trying to climb into the lifeboat, being washed away to the sea with the strong current. Others were running to the stern, which was beginning to have a more severe tilt. There was so much splashing in the water that she had trouble making anyone out. While Cal and other men were trying to prevent people from coming aboard, Nellie grabbed a nearby woman struggling in the water and pulled her in.

"Mama!"

The young girl Nellie had been comforting earlier flew into the woman's arms. Both were crying and weeping, not bothered by the swaying and jolting of the flimsy boat. A sob nearly broke from Nellie, wishing desperately for the same reunion with Isla and Callen.

Another splash in the water caught her attention. There was a man struggling on one of the ship's railings, just a stone's throw away. His strawberry blonde hair was sticking to his forehead as he thrashed about.

Tommy's lifebelt was caught on the railing and the surge of water from the ship was too strong for him to break free. Without a second thought, Nellie grabbed the mother and young girl, turning their attention to Tommy.

"I beg you, please help me and that man get back on board when I return," she pleaded. Nellie tightened the straps on her own lifebelt before putting one foot on the edge of the boat.

A pair of hands nearly yanked her backwards. "What are you doing?"

Nellie was shocked to see it was Cal who had tried to pull her backwards. He was still holding an oar with one hand, the bottom half of his suit soaked through.

"Tommy needs help," Nellie said, throwing his hand away from her. "We have plenty of room."

"You'll die if you get into that water," Cal hissed, reaching for her again. She dodged him, bumping into another man and nearly falling overboard.

"I'm going to help him," she said. "Before the water on the ship gets any higher."

"And who says we'll let you back on," Cal sneered. "You'll capsize the boat!"

Nellie stared at him for a moment, blinking slowly. "My God, Cal, you really can't handle rejection." She paused, glancing at mother and small girl. "Pray God has mercy on your soul," she said to Cal. "You may need it. We all might die tonight."

She dove into the water, not giving herself a chance to second guess what she was doing. The water took the breath from her, making all of her limbs numb and her muscles spasm. For a moment, she almost swam back to the lifeboat. Why on earth had she done this? She had been safe just a moment before because of Tommy.

Tommy!

The suction of the water thankfully carried her back to the ship, right where he was struggling. His teeth were chattering and his green eyes were unseeing, as if he'd given up.

"Tommy!" Nellie cried. She freed his lifebelt from the railing, grabbing his hand. "Come with me! We need to get to the lifeboat before it gets too far away!"

"Look out!"

Nellie grabbed onto the railing at the sound of the cry. Looking up, one of Titanic's smoke stacks was swaying from side to side. She realized with horror that it was beginning to fall in their direction.

"Tommy, let's go!" she said. Feeling adrenaline pounding through her veins, she grabbed Tommy's lifebelt and heaved him into the open sea. She no longer felt the coldness of the water as she kicked as hard as she could. She would not die. Not while there was a chance her children were still alive.

There was the sound of cable wire snapping. One hit the water, grazing the side of Tommy's head. He cried out, clutching his hair. Nellie continued to pull him closer to the lifeboat which was just a few feet away.

"It's coming down!"

The people on the lifeboat were looking behind Nellie and Tommy, pointing. She turned just in time to see the large smoke stack falling. The impact on the water would create a wave that could propel them faster towards the lifeboat! She could see the mother she had helped waving to her from the boat, arms outstretched.

THere was a deafening splash behind them, followed by a great wave. She grabbed onto Tommy's lifebelt, letting the wave carry them the last few feet to the lifeboat.

"Don't let them on!" Cal cried when Nellie grabbed the edge of the boat. "If we let them on, many more will follow."

"Damn you, Cal!" Nellie cried through gritted teeth. The mother she had helped grabbed her arm, doing her best to pull her up.

"Help him first!" Nellie said, pushing Tommy forward. His eyes had begun rolling backwards and he was bleeding heavily from the side of his head. Despite Cal's protests, many of the women in the boat somehow pulled him in. Nellie used the last of her remaining strength to pull herself in as well. When she flopped onto a thwart, she was dismayed to see several inches of water at the bottom. How long could they stay afloat like this?

Tommy groaned, lying at the bottom of the boat. The collapsible had at last steadied itself, finally distanced from the great ship. There were no blankets around, so Nellie knelt beside him and did her best to wrap her wet skirts around him. She pushed his wet hair from his eyes and held him close, listening to his teeth chattering and feeling his body convulse in shivers. She pressed her sleeve against his head, hoping it would stop the bleeding. There wasn't enough light this far away from the ship to see how deep the cut was.

"Tommy? Tommy, can you hear me?" she pleaded. His eyes continued to roll back into his head, becoming focused and then unfocused.

"Hypothermia," a woman nearby said. "Just do your best to keep him warm. My husband told me there will be a ship coming to our rescue in a few hours."

"A few hours?" Nellie said, now cradling Tommy's head. Would he be able to make it in a few hours? The blood from his head had already turned the water at the bottom of the boat red.

"Tommy," she whispered in his ear. "Please don't leave me. I don't even know if Callen and Isla are alright. I don't know where Jock is! I need you, please! Please!"

She let out the tears she had been holding back, grateful for their warmth as they rolled down her face. She rocked Tommy back and forth as the small lifeboat listened to the sounds of people screaming at the gurgling of the sea as the Titanic continued to sink.

She prayed none of the screams belonged to the people she loved.

Spent a lot of time listening to "Howling" by Nathan Ball while writing this chapter...