With every beat of Astoria's heart, she felt herself become weaker. The blood in her veins felt thick and painful as it coursed through her body. Over the past few weeks, she had felt her condition rapidly advancing, she didn't need tests done to tell her that. Luna had implored her to rest until her curse showed signs of slowing, but she couldn't. There was too much for her to do.
And the wedding, despite being ruined by the war as most things were, was beautiful. It went perfectly because she worked so hard, and she'd do it again. Theodore and Daphne's happiness on that night was everything to her. If she couldn't help them have the perfect day, what was the point of living a few more weeks?
Weeks. She'd try to hold out a few more weeks for Hermione to finish the counter curse before she let herself go. At any point it felt like she could just stop and let it fully take her, but she couldn't. Couldn't because of what Draco might have her do in a fit of desperation. But every time she opened her eyes, they begged to close, hoping that when she woke again, her father and mother would be there waiting for her.
Reflecting on the life she had lived so far, she felt happy. She didn't get to do the things that typical people got to, like go on dates or travel the world, but she lived a comfortable life. As a Greengrass that married into the Malfoy name, she knew she was more fortunate than most. Content. She was content. Twenty-five good years were reflected in every bouquet of flowers she received and every person who had come to her bedside.
There was one person who she wanted to see more than anything though, but she didn't know if it was possible with how tumultuous the situation was. But she thought she'd make it one of her last requests, because then Draco and Daphne wouldn't be able to refuse her. To her surprise, her wish came sooner than she had expected when Pansy came in the early winter morning, wearing the wool jumper Astoria had gifted her last Christmas.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Daphne asked, standing straight up from her post after administering several medications to Astoria. They were a series of steroids and pain reducers to make her feel better and more inclined to eat, and would hopefully extend her time.
"Take it up with Draco, would you?" she replied quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Astoria did her best to try to prop herself up against the pillows, smiling at the witch she hadn't seen in weeks. "Pansy, you came."
"Course I did. Had to come see my bestie, didn't I?" she sweetly whispered, setting a teddy bear in her arms and the bouquet of fresh flowers on the bed next to her. A bundle of white and pink peonies, Astoria's favorite flowers. She couldn't help but blush and smile as she thanked her friend. Even as Daphne huffed and left the room, Astoria could only focus on Pansy. She looked as beautiful as the bundle of flowers she brought. When her hand reached for hers, Astoria thought she could have been cured by just that.
"I thought I wouldn't see you before…"
"You really think Draco can keep me away?" she laughed, laying down, letting her soft, black hair brush against Astoria's arm.
"No," Astoria smiled, curling up against her.
"How are you feeling?" Pansy asked.
"Better now that you're here," Astoria smiled.
Pansy rested her head against the top of hers, "You're too sweet. Treat me better than any man."
"Cause I care about you more than them," Astoria said in a joking manner, but deep down, knew she meant it entirely. All of the men Pansy had dated in the past, which was numerous, were the same. Cold, bitter, handsome, and didn't want much to do with her. They reminded her of Draco, or more like men trying to be Draco. And with every new boyfriend she brought around, she desperately wished she was them.
"That's the truth," Pansy laughed, grabbing her hand. "Us girls against the world."
"Will you be my friend even when I'm a vampire?" Astoria asked, coughing slightly into the blanket.
"Of course, Tori. We'll travel the world and do fun stuff. Spanish night clubs, evening walks, hell, we can even go bowling. I hear the muggles love to do that at night," she cheerily remarked. "And once you're all healthy and can take care of yourself, you can get away from that nasty man."
"I love Draco," Astoria stood her ground.
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Draco sleeps around with everyone, even the fucking mudblood you've let into your home and have treated so kindly. He doesn't love you, Tori. Not like how you deserve to be."
"I don't really love him like that either. The love Draco and I have is different, Pansy. I wish I could explain it better. It's complicated though," Astoria turned her head, looking straight up at the ceiling. She wanted to tell her everything, especially now that the war and her life as she knew it was coming to a close.
"I figured as much over time, no one would ever admit it to me though. Everything with Draco is complicated, isn't it?" Pansy took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It was clear to see how hurt she was and how much she had gone through. If it weren't for Draco, she might not have even taken the Dark Mark. But without Draco, Pansy wouldn't have been in her life, and she was happy for that. Even if she was using her to get closer to him, it didn't take away the feeling that she got every time she was with Pansy.
"You have no idea," Astoria agreed. "I can be complicated too though, but I'm glad that he brought us together."
"I wish I was a boy sometimes, I'd steal you away from him and we'd be happy," Pansy teased. But she didn't have the slightest idea that's exactly what Astoria wanted.
"You wouldn't have to be a boy," Astoria whispered. "You could be exactly how you are now and you'd be perfect."
"Oh hush, Tori. If you keep talking like that I might just think you're in love with me," Pansy giggled as she brushed Astoria's hair from her sweaty brow.
Astoria looked away from her for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say. If this were months ago she would have laughed along with her, but she didn't want to die with any regrets. Though she'd come back, she wouldn't be the same. Who knows if she'd have new feelings or thoughts from what she had now.
"I am in love with you, Pansy," she mumbled quietly. "I thought you should know that before I go. Maybe when I come back things will be less complicated, and I'll be normal."
Pansy froze, staring at Astoria with her brown eyes for several long seconds. Astoria didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed, she was glad to have said it, no matter the consequence, she would face it.
"Tori…" she began to say. The tone said everything Astoria already knew. That she didn't feel the same way. And that was okay, she didn't expect otherwise.
"I know," Astoria gently interrupted. "You don't have to say anything."
"This doesn't make you abnormal, Tori. There's nothing wrong with how you feel, I just can't feel the same. But that doesn't make me normal. If anything, it makes me the weird one, because you're so special," she said, holding her close. "And when you come back, you'll still be you."
Astoria began to laugh so hard she got into a fit of coughing. Pansy grabbed the inhaler from the side table, helping her catch her breath again.
After some deep breaths, Astoria looked up at the ceiling again. "Draco and Daph always talked about me falling in love and getting married as a major reason to turn into a vampire. To give me more time to do that without the war and being sick. They talked about it like it was the ultimate goal in life. I never really cared about it though. Not until now."
"What changed?" Pansy asked.
"I used to think I was fulfilled in what I had done, but I didn't realize how much had been taken away from me," Astoria replied, feeling shame for wanting more in this lifetime than what was given to her. "I've never been on a date or had a real kiss or written a love letter. It seemed so silly to me then, but now I wish I could have done it before I'm a vampire."
Pansy looked puzzled. "You can't do those things after?"
Astoria shook her head slightly, "Draco told me he has to stop himself from hurting others. That the drive to drink blood outweighs any other thought. It would have been nice to experience love without it being tainted."
"I don't think love is ever not tainted, Tori," Pansy replied softly, using her finger to gently turn Astoria's face back to her. Astoria couldn't help but notice her soft pink lipstick and the smell of cherries that scented her skin. As Pansy leaned in closer, she almost didn't want to close her eyes.
But she did because it felt right to. The heavy lids slowly shut as Pansy's pink lips touched hers. At first, her stomach dropped, not knowing how to react, but it melted away quickly, leaving her with nothing but a feeling of warmth she hadn't felt before.
For several moments, they laid there with their lips pressed together. Nothing could have mattered more to Astoria. The manor could have been crashing down around her and she wouldn't have opened her eyes. Not until Pansy pulled away that she remembered that the world was still spinning and the birds still sang, despite being lost in her.
Kindness. That's what Pansy had given her. A moment of intimacy that she had craved without even realizing it. And though it meant nothing to Pansy, it was everything to Astoria. If something this simple could make the entire world stop, then perhaps it was worth holding out for. For the first time, Astoria imagined what it could be like with someone who loved her back.
Daphne and Tappy set the dining table, making sure everything looked perfect for when guests arrived. If anything were out of place, it would be spotted immediately. Even though it would be two people who she did not want in her home, she had to in order to get a strand of Bellatrix's hair for the Polyjuice potion. And they had practically invited themselves, Bellatrix insisting on coming over with Rodolphus and catching up. However, she knew it was all a formality. Bellatrix was nosey, always in their business, especially after her father was dead. Daphne thought it was unnecessary for her to be so cautious of them after their father was outed, but now that she knew of Draco's actions, she wasn't wrong to be.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus sat at the table across from the newlyweds, drinking wine and making light conversation. Every snide remark Daphne made, Theodore would gently nudge her, reminding her to be polite, trying to soften her stance. It couldn't be helped though, she knew Bellatrix was trying hard to put on as hard of an act as she was.
"How's little Tori?" Bellatrix inquired, her pale lips downturned to show a negative emotion, over expressing.
Theodore sighed deeply, "Not very well. You can see her after dinner."
"And where is Draco and mudblood?" Bellatrix asked, stopping any small talk and getting straight to the point. "My dear nephew doesn't want to join us for dinner? Shame, really."
"He is incredibly busy with work, and the mudblood is with him at the Ministry, I'm presuming," Daphne replied flatly.
Bellatrix watched her closely. "He seems to be quite fond of that thing."
"Fond of her like one would be of a cat or dog," Daphne sneered.
"Quite an expensively dressed dog, wearing nice jewelry and clothes. I didn't know pets needed diamonds," Bellatrix laughed. Daphne knew it was a stupid idea for Draco to give her anything that would draw eyes on her. Especially something that was so sentimental to Narcissa. He was becoming careless with her, following her every command, parading her around like a trophy at his side. It was so obvious to everyone how much he cared for her, they didn't need to know the value of the things she was wearing, they could see it in his eyes when he looked at her.
Thedore forced a laugh as well. "It seems like a small gesture since she has been so devoted to the Malfoy name and the Dark Lord. She's been Astoria's caretaker and has done a good job. The reeducation program has worked wonders for her."
"You're sure of this?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Yes, I've seen him cast the Imperius curse on her enough times to make a dragon think it's a kitten," Daphne added, trying to reassure the witch, putting on her best acting face. It was fruitless though, she always had a difficult time maintaining her composure. But she would try, for Draco, for Astoria, and for Hermione.
Daphne and Theodore led the Lestranges to Astoria's chambers, and Bellatrix dramatically doted over her. It made Daphne sick to see Bellatrix's slender fingers brush through Astoria's hair, smiling at her with gray teeth. The heinous things she's done, though paled in comparison to Draco, were done with hate and malice. She actively chose the life she had lived twice over. Turning against her own sister and nephew when they needed help the most.
Astoria didn't open her eyes, though Daphne knew damn well she could. She had just spent most the day gossiping with Pansy. But she was pretending to avoid having to deal with Bellatrix and her antics. She wished she could have done the same, but was thankful the attention and questions were off of her for the moment.
"It's a shame, a pureblood witch cursed with something that taints her blood," Bellatrix sighed. "You're incredibly lucky, Daphne. Your blood is untouched, unlike Tori and Draco."
Daphne crossed her arms and pressed her fingernails into her flesh. It took her all the strength to bite her tongue and hold back every thought that wanted to escape her mind. No longer did she care about bloodstatus, it seemed too frivolous of a topic to care about as of recently. And she had to admit that Hermione had changed her mind dramatically about the situation.
"They aren't spoiled by their curses. They are still Malfoys and Greengrasses," Daphne replied curtly.
"Name doesn't mean anything. Just look at the Potters as an example. Ruined the entire bloodline," Bellatrix said in disapproval.
"Say, Rodolphus," Theodore interjected. "Didn't you say that you recently got a few firedrakes? Did you need any help with crate training them?"
Daphne breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that Theodore began a titillating conversation with the Lestranges to distract from the pureblood talk around Astoria. And after several grueling more minutes, Daphne gave a light hug goodbye to Bellatrix, making sure she bushed off several strands of her wiry, black hair from her dress. Immediately after they left the manor, she ran to Hermione's workshop, setting the three strands of hair safely in a petri dish.
"Think Hermione can pull it off?" Theodore asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"She's about the only one who can."