My Hero Academia - Into the Marvelverse

by ShadowNinja77

Class 1A find themselves captured and sent to a new world, a new universe, filled with new kinds of heroes and villains. Now, they'll have to work together to make sense of this new world and find a way back home. I don't own any of these characters.

13. Mineta's Wild Adventures

"Stop him!"

"Don't let him get away!"

"Grab that runt!"

"He's too slippery!"

"Ew! I'm sticking!"

"What are these things?"

"They're balls!"

"Nasty!"

"You're going to pay for this, pipsqueak!"

Minoru Mineta couldn't really say he'd ever been glad to be small. For most of his life it had been a real letdown as girls always thought he was a child or, later on, a stunted kid. Though, if there was an upside he always had a spectacular view of girl's butts and, in some cases, their perfect rounded chests.

But today, he was more glad than ever that he was smaller than most people. When he had first been a prisoner of the octopus villain, the cuffs had contained him to the point where he could barely move an inch. But when they'd taken him away and fitted him with new cuffs, these ones were a bit bigger, giving him some wiggle room.

It hadn't really taken much thought for him to realize he was going to die. The octopus guy was continually running tests and scans on Iida, Kamakiri, and Shoji while looking indifferent to Mineta except for the occasional dirty look. Then there were all the looks the henchmen gave him. The men mostly snorted and laughed when they saw him and his ball-hair, making him want to kick them in their balls. But the female ones…well he could tell they wanted him dead. But was it really his fault that their outfits only made them look hotter. He just couldn't not stare at their fantastic assets.

They had grabbed him roughly in the night, unlocking his cuffs and slamming new ones onto him. The others had all cried out but there was nothing they could do as he was led away. He had started to struggle but once he had, he'd realized the cuffs were too big for him. Once he realized that, he'd put all his energy into slipping free.

"Can't wait to finally be rid of you," one of the hotter henchwomen grumbled next to him.

"You know, a lot of women would feel flattered t-"

Wham!

Mineta cried out as he was struck on the head by the other henchman.

"Quiet, pervert! And keep walking!"

Mineta decided it would be best to just keep his mouth shut and focus on his cuffs for the moment. As they turned down a hallway, he managed to get one hand free though he'd had to bite down to stop himself from crying out again as his skin scraped against the cuffs. He began to remove his other hand when they suddenly came to a stop.

"Here we are," the woman said with a smirk.

Mineta looked up at the door in front of him and gulped at he read the words 'Furnace room.' They were going to roast him alive.

"Let's see how you hand-"

"Yah!" Mineta grabbed hold of one of his purple balls and threw it right into the woman's face, the ball instantly sticking.

"Gah! What the hell?" she cried.

"You little!" The other henchman came rushing at him but he was tall enough for Mineta to easily duck between his legs. As he did, Mineta dropped another ball under the man's foot, stopping him cold. Then he ran like hell down the hallway.

He'd barely turned the corner when the alarms started ringing and he began to panic. How was he going to get out of this? He dashed down another hallway but had to turn back when a bunch of henchmen appeared in his way, instantly giving chase. He threw his balls behind him as fast as he could, hearing the yells as they struck. But he wasn't sure how many would be stuck.

For the hundredth time he wished he had a better power. Like Hagakure's invisibility. Oh all the things he could with that power, though right now escaping these guys was at the top of the list.

He turned another corner and began throwing balls all over the floor behind him. He could hear the henchmen tripping over them and each other as they touched the balls, trapping themselves. That should buy him some time. But he still didn't know where to go. It wasn't like there was an exit sign that would lead him out of here.

He briefly considered going back for the others but he just as quickly tossed it aside. While he did want to help them out, there was literally nothing he could do against the octopus guy. He was a real deal villain and while Mineta might get lucky and trap some of those tentacles, he had a feeling that wouldn't hold the guy for long. No, Mineta had to get out of here and get some real help.

But how was he supposed to get out of here?

"This way!"

"Crap balls!" Mineta cried, looking around desperately and dashing into the first room he saw, closing the door behind him. He then put another ball into the doorframe, preventing it from opening. That should hold it for a little bit.

Of course, now he was trapped. And a quick look showed him he was trapped in the worst place he could have chosen. A closet with absolutely no way out.

"Damn it!" he groaned. "Why does this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Where'd he go?" someone yelled from outside.

"Find him now!"

"Don't let him escape!"

"Check every room!"

"Crap, crap, crap!" Mineta moaned, trying to think of a way out of this. But he didn't have any options. He was in a closet that he'd trapped himself in. And now the hallway was no doubt swarming with bad guys. He had nowhere to go!

There was a rattling on the closet door handle and he let out an involuntary yelp.

"He's in here!" someone cried out. "He's blocked the door!"

"Break it down!"

"There's nowhere to escape now!"

Mineta backed up against the wall, shaking in fear, when he felt something against his backside. He turned and blinked as he saw the small grate there leading to an air duct. A grate so small only a child could fit inside. Or a small teenager.

"Thank you!" he cried out before grabbing hold of the crate. He hissed as he realized he couldn't get a good grip on it. But that didn't matter to him. He took two of his balls from his hair, wincing from the pain as he'd overdone it a bit, and then jammed them against the grate. Once they were secured, he began to pull with all the strength he could muster.

He could hear the door banging behind him and knew it was only a matter of minutes or even seconds before it broke down and they got him. He'd never done any real muscle training before but this was just some dame grate. He could open it. He had to or else he would die. And he'd never get to touch any girl ever!

"RAHHHH!" he cried, giving one massive heave. There was a slight pop and then he fell backwards, the grate breaking loose. He breathed out in relief before he heard a crack behind him and saw the door splintering. He yelped and then practically dove into the air duct, scrambling through it as fast as he could.

This was another time he was grateful he was so small cause if he was even a tiny bit bigger, he wouldn't have been able to move through this. He was feeling scrunched up enough as it was, a new sensation for him. But he kept going, making his way through the ducts. He turned at a bend and went down another duct at a fork in his path. He made a couple more turns, moving as quickly as possible, and then found himself at a precipice, the duct now going vertically. Again, not a problem for him as he took out more of his hairballs and began to climb up. He could feel a slight trickle on his scalp and the pain was getting more prominent as he kept pulling more balls out to make his way up the duct. But he pushed through it, climbing higher and higher up to that light ahead of him until he finally made it to another grate.

He looked out of it and nearly cried in relief as he saw the outside, the duct leading to the side of a building a few storeys up. He was almost free.

He did the same thing as before, planting two new balls against the grate and then pulling back on them. This time, he planted his feet against the far side of the duct as he pushed, shoving forward with all his might and imagining certain girls in certain get-ups as motivation.

Pop!

He blinked as the grate popped open and fell away. He gasped as he almost went with, letting go and grabbing the side of the duct before he could fall to the ground far below.

"Almost there," he said to himself, pulling out even more balls and grimacing with each one taken. He then placed them against the side of the wall and began to lower himself down. He had to take more balls out to climb down as he couldn't reach that far down, especially with his feet dangling. He was just grateful his upper body strength was actually really good after all the climbing he'd done the last year. Considering his power, it was his main asset as a hero so he'd done his best to hone it as much as possible.

He didn't know how long it would take for the people inside to come out to look for him. Probably not long which was why he was rushing things. He'd gotten a bigger tolerance for handling the pain of extracting too many balls from his head but still with each one taken out, the jolt of pain got sharper. He wasn't sure how much more he could-

"Oh," he gasped, his feet hitting the ground. He'd been so lost in thought he hadn't realized he'd made it. He let out a breath of relief and then threw up his hands in celebration. He'd done it.

A quick look showed he was in an alleyway surrounded by buildings with no real escape route. He randomly went left and found himself at a fork. Choosing left again, he dashed through the dank, trash-filled area and turned right at the next corner, sighing in relief as he finally made out a street just ahead of him.

Now he just…well…what could he do?

A little while after they'd been taken, Iida had continually told the octopus villain that the heroes would come to save them and that's when they'd been told the truth. They that weren't in Japan or even on their world anymore.

It was a lot to process. Mineta had nearly had a complete breakdown learning all that. No heroes would be coming to save them since none knew where to look. Who would think to look at another universe for missing students?

So, now that Mineta was free, he had to come up with a different plan. The best option was to find the police or whatever kind of law enforcement this world had to offer. There had to be someone who could help after all. Hopefully a hot female one. After the last couple days, Mineta could use something like that.

He reached the street and panted, his heart pounding so loudly it felt like it was making his whole body vibrate.

It was getting late in the evening, from the look of the sky. Not many people were around here. Mineta wasn't even sure what kind of part of town this was. He knew he was in New York City from what octopus guy had said but that didn't help him much.

Fortunately, just down the street he could see a taxi. Or what he assumed was one based on how it looked. He raced to it as fast as he could. He didn't know why there would be a taxi here of all places but he was just grateful to find something that could help him.

He reached it and practically threw open the door and launched himself inside.

"Whoa there!" the driver exclaimed, looking back in his seat towards Mineta. "What's the rush, little- whoa, what happened to you?"

"I was…I was kidnapped!" Mineta gasped. "Just escaped!"

"Kidnapped?" the driver gasped, eyes wide. Then his gaze took on a harder, darker expression. "From who?"

"Some octopus guy, had metal tentacles growing out of his spine."

"Ah, Doc Ock," the driver nodded, clearly familiar. "Well, ain't you a lucky one to get away from him?"

"My friends are still there. I need to get to the police and-"

"The police?" the driver snorted. "You think the police can help you out here? Against Doctor Octopus? He'll tear them apart! Nah kid, you need a more special kind of help. Lucky for you, I know just the guy! I'll take you to him now!"

"You will?" Mineta was almost crying in relief, he didn't think to question his luck. "Oh thank you, thank you!"

"No problem, shorty. Name's Jake by the way. Jake Lockley."

---

Moscow

Deku couldn't stop his heart from pounding at erratic speeds as they came in for a landing. The city of Moscow was spread out below them and while normally he'd be excited to see a new city, he really couldn't muster anything of the sort. Judging from the others' expressions, they were all the same.

Their mission was about to begin.

Despite his best efforts, Deku hadn't been able to reach for the previous users of One-For-All. All he felt was a haze. But he'd thought he could hear voices which was something. He just had to keep trying.

"Listen closely," Doom suddenly spoke up, grabbing their attention. "In order for this to work, it must appear that I am alone. So it is time for you to learn the next fundamental truth of this universe."

"Huh?" Sero asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you stop talking, maybe you'll learn," Doom replied. "You are already aware that magic exists."

Yes and Deku wasn't even sure where to rank that revelation among the ones he'd had over the last couple days. Honestly, he'd put that in the back of his mind, not willing to process it just yet. He guessed he had no choice now.

"One thing that magic allows is to tap into the energy of other dimensions and utilize them for our own purposes. I have explained the multiverse to you but I have not explained all of it."

Deku frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The multiverse is vast and mysterious. From what you've learned, you know it only as parallel worlds with similarities to yours. But that is merely the tip of the iceberg. There are countless others out there far different from anything you could even begin to comprehend. Worlds of endless darkness, worlds where time and space hold no meaning, worlds where reality comes apart at the seams. Allow me to give you an example."

Doom held out his hand and before any of them could react, the world suddenly splintered around them, cracking apart as if it was made of glass. Except, it wasn't cracks. Deku looked closer and saw that what he thought were cracks were more like…edges.

"What is this madness?" Tokoyami muttered.

"Not a fan, not a fan," Dark Shadow murmured next to him.

Shiozaki started mumbling a few prayers under her breath and Sero looked ready to join her. But Deku's analytical eyes were quick to note their surroundings and what it meant.

"Mirrors," he said, drawing everyone's attention. "You put is in a reflection, didn't you?"

Doom eyed him carefully. "Not quite. This is the Mirror Dimension. A realm that sits parallel to Earth's and mimics all its properties except for one key detail. One cannot interact with the real world here. All items and buildings and such are mimicked but all organic material is just beyond reach."

He gestured towards the cockpit where they all slowly walked towards. Deku immediately noticed something off about the pilots. They were distorted, as if he was looking at them through a window. Doom stepped forward and waved his hand right through one of the pilots' heads but it just passed over the man like he wasn't there.

"This dimension has many purposes. You can train and hone your magic here without fear of effecting the real world. You can also trap enemies." The way he said that sent shivers down Deku's spine. He suddenly realized that if nothing could be reached, they wouldn't be able to eat or drink here since there was no food or water. And Doom had sent them here with a wave of his hand.

Just how dangerous was this man?

"But for now, the use of this dimension is to sneak you past the Russian authorities without detection," Doom told them. "Your instructions are simple. I will leave you here and exit this dimension. As the Russians take me to my hotel room, you will follow along from this realm and when we arrive, I will bring you back."

Deku took a few seconds to process all that. It was actually a good plan but the idea of staying in this world and relying on this man to bring them back terrified him. But again, it didn't seem like he had a choice in the matter.

"Hold on," Sero interrupted. "You said we can't affect the real world here? So, when they drive you to the hotel, how will we even get in?"

"Objects can be reached, just not effected," Doom told him. "You will be able to touch the car and enter inside. You just will not be able to do anything to it."

"…huh?"

Sensing a vibe coming from the villain, Deku quickly jumped in. "He means that while we can't touch people or food and stuff like that, we can still touch objects or ordinary matter like cars. But since they're still a part of the real world, we won't be able to do anything to them. Like, if I threw a punch, it would do nothing to the car would it?"

"No, it would not," Doom replied. "You," he gestured to Honenuki," could cause the whole ground to sink but nothing would change. Only a sorcerer can truly make changes and even then, if they tried to melt the ground, the car would drive through as if nothing had happened. Understand now?"

Sero still looked confused but just nodded along, sensing correctly that it wouldn't be wise to keep asking questions and annoying Doom.

"Now then, just ensure you me exactly from this realm," he warned them all. "Because if you get lost, I won't come looking for you."

With that, he turned and made a swirling motion with his hands, a giant ring appearing in front of him that seemed to be shooting off golden sparks. He stepped through it and before Deku could react, it closed behind him, sealing them in this Mirror Dimension.

"Not a fan, not a fan," Dark Shadow murmured, shrinking into Tokoyami.

"Oh lord," Shiozaki mumbled, looking around at the distorted world in terror.

Deku watched as Doom retook his seat but he was different now, looking just like the pilots. To check, he came closer and waved his hand in front of the masked villain's face. Nothing. He then tried to touch him on the shoulder but no matter what he did, he never reached him.

"Damn," Honenuki muttered. "We really are trapped here."

"Well, we just can't lose him, can we?" Sero asked nervously. "We just…stick with him and, you know, not get lost. Simple."

"Nothing about this is simple," Tokoyami said darkly.

Deku tapped the small table near his seat and then tested it, seeing if he could pick it up. Nothing. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't budge it. Doom was right, they could slightly interact with the matter here, but only so far as touching and nothing else.

There was so much his brain was going over, all the information Doom provided about this dimension and its rules as well as how sorcerers could interact with it. Despite who he was, Deku wanted to question Doom about all of this, wanted to write down everything he could and absorb it all.

Magic was real. That thing he'd learned about as a kid, that thing that was always just a story, an invention of storytellers and the like, was actually real. All the different possibilities that came with it reared their heads in Deku's mind but he shoved them back down. There would be time for questions but right now he had to focus. Judging from the view from outside, they would be arriving any minute now.

He was proven correct as about five minutes later they came to a stop on the tarmac. Unfortunately, their seatbelts had swiftly proven to be as unmovable as everything else so it was thanks to Shiozaki and Sero who used their respective abilities to hold everyone steady as they came to a stop. Except for Tokoyami who relied on Dark Shadow.

As the door to the plane opened and Doom stepped out, Deku instantly felt the cold Russian air seep in and he instinctively began to shiver despite the updated costumes Doom had provided for them. They looked just like the old ones but somehow Deku felt wrong wearing them considering where they had come from.

He followed Doom out the plane and took a breath as he saw who was waiting. It was still a little difficult to make some of them out with the distorted view through this Mirror Dimension but Deku was still able to recognized a few of them. He saw the leading man was one of Russia's top generals from the files Doom had provided. Next to them was the Winter Guard leader, Vanguard, in his red costume as well as the synthezoid member Vostok, his metallic face glinting in the little sunlight that crept in through the clouds.

But none of them drew Deku's attention. It was the dark, demonic figure behind them that instantly caught his eye. Looking at the figure on a piece of paper was one thing. In real life was another. Chernobog, the Slavic god of darkness. He looked like a demon straight out of hell and just looking at him made Deku want to run for his life. As the others stepped out behind him, he knew they were of the same opinion. Dark Shadow was cowering behind Tokoyami while Shiozaki seemed to be praying even harder. Sero looked like he would wet himself any second and Honenuki was trembling despite his best efforts to put on a brave face.

A god. They were in the presence of an actual god. Every second they spent in this new world just obliterated Deku's mind all over again and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

The family, he thought to himself. They're what matters most.

"Ok, guys," he said. "We just…we just need to stay with the cars and everything will be fine. We just don't lose them. Honenuki, you should go inside the car. Tokoyami, Dark Shadow can fly you above. Sero and I can swing between the buildings easily. Shiozaki?"

"I…I can also have my vines carry me," she responded, doing her best to keep the tremble from her voice.

"Ok then," Deku nodded. "Let's do this."

Doom felt the presence of Chernobog before they even landed but after the threats he had faced, it felt more like a stiff breeze than the deathly aura most people would feel. As he stepped out the plane, Doom knew it was meant to be an intimidation display.

If that's what you want, I am more than happy to provide, he thought and flexed his own magical aura, pushing Chernobog's back with little effort. He saw the surprise flicker across the dark god's face and almost rolled his eyes. He had thought the high gods and upper demons as well as elders of the universe. Was he meant to be intimidated by this horror film reject?

"Doctor Doom," the Russian general greeted. "Welcome to Moscow. I hope your trip was-"

"Let us skip the pleasantries, shall we," he said, walking past the man. "I am here to negotiate the release of my people, nothing more. So, let's get on with it. Or would you prefer to dawdle in the snow?"

He didn't see the general's expression but knew the man was infuriated. Good. Let him be that way. His rage would lead him to make mistakes that Doom would use to his advantage. He knew this whole thing was a trap for him somehow. Well, he would spring it and then show these incompetent fools why messing with him was a colossal mistake.

As he entered the limousine, he briefly wondered how those little heroes were managing. He would predict that if he looked through the Mirror Dimension, he would find one of them already in the car alongside him, perhaps two.

Just as long as they made it to the hotel with him, he couldn't care less. Though if none of them made it, while it would be annoying, it would derail none of his plans. They were just entertainment value and scientific curiosity, nothing more.

The journey through the Mirror Dimension was simple but tense. Tokoyami easily took to the air thanks to Dark Shadow and Honenuki was able to slip into the limousine when it opened. Deku had peered in and saw his companion seated on the floor between everyone else. Not the most comfortable but it would do.

At the start, near the airport, it wasn't possible for Shiozaki or Sero to swing so Shiozaki instead wrapped her vines around the limousine and sat on the top in her own personal cocoon. Sero, on the other hand, rode on Deku's back as he kept pace with the convoy. Once they hit the city limits with all the buildings around, both Sero and Deku were able to take to the skies alongside Tokoyami, using tape and blackwhip respectively to follow the cars. Shiozaki opted to stay on the limo's roof, completely safe there.

It took about twenty minutes to get to the hotel. Deku and the others kept pace with the convoy the whole time. He really wished he could take in and enjoy the sights more. He'd only traveled around a little and this was one of the major cities in the world, even if it wasn't his world. But the fear of being trapped in this strange mirror world kept him on edge throughout the small voyage and his stomach always gave a jolt of hope when the convoy came to a stop, praying that they had finally arrived.

Eventually, the convoy stopped for real and Deku swung back down to the street. He could feel the strain in his arms from all the swinging. He had been training harder but hadn't done a continuous stretch like that before.

He watched as Doom stepped out followed by the other Russian officials. Then, Honenuki came out as well and Deku breathed in relief.

"That was one of the strangest experiences of my life," Honenuki muttered.

"I think this whole thing is the strangest experience of any of our lives," Sero replied, stretching his arms.

"We made it, that's what counts," Tokoyami said.

"Thank the heavens," Shiozaki murmured.

As Doom and his entourage entered the hotel, Deku and his group followed closely behind. To their relief, the dark god Chernobog had left at some point. It made Deku constantly watch the shadows to see if he was lurking there but so far no sign.

They reached a problem when they arrived at the elevator as there wasn't enough room for them all to get in. It was easy for Shiozaki and Sero as they stuck themselves to the ceiling with their Quirks while Tokoyami floated up thanks to Dark Shadow, but Deku and Honenuki had to take the stairs. Deku was able to see what floor they were going to and lifted his companion up on his back, carrying him all the way to the top floor. It was a slight trek given how tall the building was and Deku had no idea how fast the elevators here were. But he managed to make it to the top just as the elevator dinged open, panting from the exertion burst.

"You alright?" Honenuki asked.

"Let's just…get this over with," Deku replied.

"Yeah."

The entourage left the elevator and made their way to the room that was heavily guarded. Deku heard the general talk to Doom, confirming their meeting the next morning, before walking off. The Winter Guard members stayed behind as well as almost all the guards, none of them trusting Doom at all.

The Latverian ruler opened the door to his room and pushed it open wide. "See that I'm not disturbed for anything irrevelant to this matter," he said over his shoulder. As he did, Deku led the way through the open space he provided into the room.

Sero barely managed to step inside before Doom firmly shut the door behind him. The man then tinkered with the inbuilt devices of his armor, pressing a couple buttons.

"Is he going to free us or not?" Sero complained.

"He is a villain, we are in his hands now," Shiozaki moaned.

"Well he still needs us, so…" Honenuki began but stopped as Doom raised his hand, the familiar swirly sparks appearing in a wide circle in front of them. Doom then looked directly at them and Deku blinked as he realized he was no longer seeing the man though a glass lens.

"You all made it," Doom said in his cold voice. "Good."

"Oh sweet lord," Sero murmured, stepped through the portal and back into the real world, the others following close behind. "I swear, if that's the kind of stuff weed does to you, I'm never taking any."

"You shouldn't have been thinking of taking it at all!" Shiozaki chastised him. "As heroes we must…"

"Oh leave me alone!"

"It goes without saying, but do not leave this room," Doom told them. "I have disabled all the electronic devices in this room that they hoped would provide an edge over me, but I'm sure they expected that outcome anyway. But I cannot do more than that without them reacting aggressively."

"Right," Deku sighed. He took a look around the room for the first time. It was fancy, fancier than anything he'd seen before. It looked like a place a king would stay in, though given who Doom was, he guessed he wasn't that far off in his guess. There was a chandelier on the ceiling, several rugs with intricate designed, and a bed that looked like it came straight from the heavens, though Deku assumed he and his friends would sleep on the floor or the luxurious chairs and sofa in the room as well.

"Now then," Doom said, eyeing them all carefully, "let's go over the plan for tomorrow."

---

New York City

Mineta eyed the taxi driver nervously. "So, uh, what kind of guy is this?" he asked.

"The best in the business. He's a mercenary who serves the people of this city. He's called the Moon Knight," Lockley told him.

"Ok. Is he a hero then?"

Lockley shrugged. "Some people call him that, sure. Personally, I think he's just a guy who serves the people and gets the job done. So don't worry about your friends. The Moon Knight will take care of that octopus, no problem."

Mineta wasn't totally sure but for now he decided to go along with the cab driver. He was exhausted from his ordeal and escape and still doing his best to process everything. Honestly, he just wanted to go to sleep now and maybe have one of his special snuggle dreams. But he fought to keep his eyes open. He needed to wait at least until he met this Moon Knight. And while this driver seemed trustworthy right now, even Mineta wasn't dumb enough to trust him completely.

He watched as the sun sank behind the horizon, turning the city dark around them. They had exited the warehousing area where Mineta had been and now were in what looked like the outskirts of the city with more residential areas around them.

"Are we almost there?" he asked.

"Pretty close, just a few more minutes," Lockley promised.

"Ok," Mineta nodded, praying. He looked out the window again, watching the last light of the sun fade away.

He suddenly blinked, seeing something. He wasn't sure what it was, some strange movement, but he glanced to the side out the window. Nothing, but it was getting dark so he might have missed it. A fear began to grow inside him but he did his best to stamp it out.

Just stay calm, he told himself. You're almost there.

Then he saw it again, another flicker in the shadows. He peered out again, trying to see what it might be. Again he saw nothing. There were still a few people out and about but none of them looked suspicious. In fact, that one girl there was particularly-

Wham!

"Gah!" Mineta cried, jumping as something hit the window at the back of the taxi. He looked over and blinked at what he saw.

"What is it?" Lockley asked.

"Oh, it's just a bat," Mineta replied. "Must have flown right into us." He looked at the bat again and shivered as he looked into its eyes. Those things were blood red and for some reason they seemed to have an intelligence behind them.

"A bat?" Lockley asked and Mineta heard the tension in his voice, putting the boy on edge.

"Yeah, what's the-AH!" Mineta shrieked as he looked back out the window and instead of seeing a bat, there was a person with grayish skin and fangs leering back at him, the blood red eyes the same. The window shattered as the person's arm broke in, reaching for Mineta as the boy flung himself back in terror.

"Damn vampires!" Lockley growled. He pressed a button on the car's dashboard and a compartment opened up, showing off his secret stash of weapons. He grabbed the mini crossbow, already loaded with bolts, and turned and fired in one movement. Unfortunately, the vampire moved just in time, the stake hitting its shoulder instead of its heart.

Before Lockley could reload, he caught movement in front of him and swore as another vampire landed on the hood.

"What is happening?" Mineta shrieked.

"We're under attack by vampires kid!" Lockley barked, swerving across the street in an attempt to shake the monsters.

"V-vampires?" Mineta stuttered. "Wait, they're real? Ah!" he shrieked again as the back vampire began to crawl in.

"Why don't you let them bite ya and you'll find out!" Lockley replied. He reloaded his bow and aimed it out the front window but the vampire there smashed through the glass and grabbed hold of the bow, stopping him.

"Jake Lockley!" it growled. "Surrender Moon Knight to us and you may yet live!"

"Ha!" Lockley spat in the monster's face. "Not happening."

"Then you will suffer," the vampire told him, readying to attack when suddenly Lockley hit the brakes, bringing the taxi to a sudden stop. Mineta fell into the space between the seats while the vampire coming at him flew right by him. The vampire on the hood went soaring off the car. As it did, Lockley lifted up his crossbow and fired, the bolt slamming into the creature's heart and making it turn to ash and bones.

The second vampire arrived at that second, snapping its neck as it flew right into the dashboard. Lockley instantly reloaded the bow and fired another bolt, killing it as well.

He hit the gas, sending the car roaring down the street. But from the side mirrors, he could make out shadowy shapes leaping and flapping from the rooftops. "Sorry about this kid," he said to the backseat. "Evidently ol' Moon Knight went and pissed off the blood-suckers."

"I just want to go home!" Mineta moaned.

"Don't worry, we'll make it out of this." Lockley pressed another button on the dashboard and several capsules were shot out from the back of the taxi just as several bats came flying their way. The capsules exploded, releasing their deadly contents of garlic powder for the bats to fly right into. Lockley smirked as the screams and wails reached his ears. It wouldn't hold them for long, but it was satisfying.

He quickly made some scribbles on the pieces of paper he had on hand, sticking it onto the dashboard. He then turned and looked out the window to the side mirror, making sure he could see himself in the reflection.

"Alright Spector, you're up."

"Huh?" Mineta asked, still cowering between the seats as he came to terms with the fact that vampires were real and trying to kill him. And not the superhot kind from all those shows he watched. He looked up and blinked as he watched Lockley change, some sort of strange fabric enveloping him. They looked like gray bandages wrapping around him until he became something like a mummy. A hood formed over him and a cape materialized down his back. "Wha-what is this?" Mineta stammered and then yelped as the new figure turned to regard him, its eyes a glowing silver.

Marc Spector wasn't expecting to find himself driving a taxi when he woke up which could only mean Lockley had gotten himself into some kind of trouble. Usually it involved a drunken bar or something like that but Spector's eyes soon found the note with the word written at the top.

Vampires.

"Oh great," Spector muttered. He had been making moves against them so he guessed he shouldn't be too surprised they'd come.

He read the rest of the note, turning to look at the terrified kid again. According to Lockley's notes, he'd been kidnapped by Doc Ock. A mystery to explore once this matter was resolved as from a quick look behind him, a whole swarm of bats were coming right for them. He pressed down on the gas, trying to find something that would help.

There. An alley. Perfect.

"Hang tight kid," he said, twisting the wheel in a sharp turn right into the alleyway. He saw it was completely deserted. Even better.

"What are you doing?" Mineta shrieked in disbelief as they stopped. "Tho-those are vampires you know!"

"I know. And they made a grave mistake," Spector said as he stepped outside. He paused for a second, grunting. "Lockley must still be affecting me. That was such a stupid pun."

The vampires didn't attack immediately to his surprise. Instead, they came to a stop near him. Some retained their bat forms while others transformed into their humanlike appearances. "Moon Knight!" one hissed. "Your crimes against vampire-kind will not go unpunished. You have been sentenced to death!"

"I've died before. It didn't take."

"So you are the Moon Knight, Lockley," another crooned. "We know your secret."

"That would be a problem, yes. If any of you actually managed to live through this anyway."

The vampires all growled. "Enough talk!" one cried. "Let's kill him and feast on his flesh!"

It practically flew at him, claws and fangs enlarged to tear into him. But Spector charged to meet it, moving between its outstretched arms and punching it right in the chest. The vampire gave one gurgle before it exploded into ash. All the other vampires shrieked in alarm at the sight.

Spector held up his fist, showing off his cestus with the silver spikes on the end. "You bloodsuckers made a big mistake. Cause now I'm gonna fuck you up!"

Mineta watched wide-eyed from the backseat as Moon Knight charged the vampires, cutting down every single one that came close. He pulled out some sort of weapon from his chest and threw it out like a boomerang, the projectile flying through at least four vampires before returning to the man's hand. He also kept punching them. If he couldn't hit the heart, he struck anywhere else to incapacitate them and then hitting the heart. Some vampires turned into bats but Moon Knight easily snatched them from the air and finished them off.

"Is this all you got?" he cried out. "My, my, how pathetic. They should have sent some of the bigger fish instead of you little minnows."

"Shut up!" a vampire cried, latching onto him and preparing to bite down. But as it did, Moon Knight held something up to its face and it flinched back with a shriek, its face now burning.

"I am a believer so my holy symbols work. And I'm also technically a priest."

Mineta couldn't really decide if this was a nightmare or not. This definitely felt like something out of cheesy horror film, although in this case it was the good guy slaughtering the monsters.

Creak!

Mineta flinched, before turning behind him, his eyes widening in horror as he saw another vampire crawling inside the car. "Well, well," it hissed, licking its lips as it regarded him. "What do we have here? Seems Moon Knight has a little pet."

"Aughowaugh," Mineta moaned, unable to make any words appear.

"I wonder what he'll do when we have you," the vampire growled right before lunging. Mineta ducked down and was thankful for his short size as the monster just missed him. He then threw open the car door and leaped out. "You can't escape!" the vampire cried, still coming at him but as it did, Mineta reached back and threw one of his balls at it, the sphere latching onto the creature's hand just as it put it down. "What?" it said, trying to pull free but unable to. "What is this?"

Mineta looked over at Moon Knight and the swarm of vampires still attacking him and decided it would be so much safer to just get the hell out of here. He turned to leave when something suddenly came flying at him from the car, making him shriek in fear.

"Kid?" Spector turned at the shriek and saw the boy under attack. But in his moment of distraction, one of the vampires took advantage and slammed him to the ground. Spector grunted and immediately tried to move but the other vampires, seeing the opportunity, piled on to him, all doing their best to tear him apart.

Damn it, Spector thought to himself. They hadn't torn through his mystical suit yet but it was only a matter of time. Well then, they asked for it. He reached into his utility belt and pulled out a special item, pulling the pin on it and closing his eyes. Even then, the light was blinding but from the shrieks and screams, he knew it was worse for the vamps. He opened his eyes again and he saw them scrambling away from him, their flesh smoking from the attack.

"Solar bomb," he said. "Hurts, doesn't it? Let me help with that."

He pulled out two crossbows and fired round after round, the small wooden stakes finding their targets and killing every vampire in sight until they were empty. He tossed the bows aside and turned, aiming to kill the vampire attacking the boy but cursed when he saw they were both gone. He was about to race after them when he heard a hissing sound.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he muttered, turning back to see another vampire standing a few feet from him. Instantly he knew this one wasn't like the others. "Just my fucking luck," he growled. "Stay alive, kid. I'll be there soon."

Mineta had never run this hard in his life but, then again, he'd never been chased by freaking vampires before. There were three of them, all in bat form, swooping down on him to latch on but he wouldn't let them, throwing his balls their way to keep them at bay.

He desperately thought back to all those vampire movies he watched but truthfully, he never really paid any attention to the lore. He only watched those films for specific scenes and characters.

I told you that perverse attitude would get you killed one day.

"Oh shut up Asui!" Mineta cried out, tears of fear streaming from his eyes and snot pouring from his nose. "AH!"

The vampires came down again and Mineta threw more balls their way, fighting through the pain on his head. Two of the creatures managed to dodge them, backing off, but the third kept coming and got struck in the wing, making it go down. Unfortunately for it, its wing with the ball attached hit the ground, causing the ball to stick to the concrete and trapping the creature, making it shriek out in rage.

Mineta didn't even see it, still running as hard as he could. The two remaining vampires watched him carefully before coming at him again. Mineta threw more balls but they managed to dodge them. He knew the reason they stayed in bat form was that it made them smaller targets for his balls. But he'd already used up so many in his escape from Doc Ock. He'd only gotten a little rest since then. Every time he pulled one out now, he felt like he was pulling out part of his skull. He couldn't go for much longer.

But if he didn't…he would be sucked dry. And not in the good way.

"It could at least be hot vampires," he moaned. "And not these creepy sewer-looking freaks!"

He needed to do something, anything, or he was going to die. Or become a vampire or something, he didn't actually know but he knew it would be bad. But all he had were his balls, what else could he do?

Well, many had thought the same before he got into U.A., thinking his Quirk was useless and that he'd never make anything come of it. But he'd beaten those robots in the entrance exam and beaten all those other candidates. He had survived the U.S.J., with the help of his classmates sure but it had also been because of his power. And he had passed the final exam against Ms. Midnight, not Sero. He had pushed himself and become stronger, making his Quirk something that could be powerful.

What else could he do? He was a U.A. hero student. If he went beyond his limits, there was nothing he couldn't do.

In that tiny second of clarity before the fear of the vampires overtook him again, he spotted a trashcan and a plan came to him. He acted on it before he could think, grabbing the trash can lid and yanking out more balls. In a few seconds he was ready which was good as the vampires came at him.

"Come at me you…you…" he stopped, trying to think of some cool insult but it was too late as the vampires were on him before anything could come to him. He yelped and ducked as the first one flew overhead. But the second dived, coming right for him. Right as it was about to bite down, Mineta flipped the trashcan lid over, showing the interior packed to the brim with his purple balls. He could practically see the bat's eyes widen as it realized what was about to happen. It tried to stop but it was in too deep with its dive and flew right onto the lid, trapping itself against all the balls.

"Yes!" Mineta cried out in glee, shaking the lid in triumph and making the bat shriek in rage. "I got you, bastard! Now, let me-"

He stopped, feeling the fingers around his throat.

"Now, you die," the voice said behind him and the next thing he knew was an intense pain as the vampire bit down on his throat.

He could feel it. His blood being drained from his body, getting sucked into that monster. In a few minutes, it would be over. He'd be dead and be a vampire or maybe just a corpse and his short life would be over before he'd really done anything. He hadn't lost his virginity or even gotten kissed by a girl. He'd never even touched a girl's boob before, except that one time with Asui and slightly with Ashido but he didn't really count those times since…well they didn't count.

Was this really the end for Minoru Mineta?

But just as the vampire bit down, he realized something very important. If the vampire was sucking his blood from his neck, it meant the creature was right next to his hair. Or, more accurately, his balls.

So as soon as the vampire started sucking, Mineta managed to pull out one last ball and jam it right into the vampire's eye.

"ARGH!" the creature screamed, instantly releasing Mineta who shot away in terror and relief. He was bleeding from the neck but it had only been a few seconds. That couldn't be enough to do anything…could it? He checked his teeth to make sure and sighed in relief when he felt no fangs.

The vampire, meanwhile, was trying its best to rip the ball from its eye to no avail. At one point it tried to turn into a bat in the hopes that would make the ball fall off, but instead the ball just had more of the vampire to stick to now. The weight proved too much and the bat, after trying to fly away, fell to the ground, the ball trapping it.

Mineta sighed in relief. He was still alive. He'd survived this horror movie nightmare. But he couldn't relax. Just as he had that thought, he heard a loud screech coming from where Moon Knight had been and he instantly started running again as fast as he could. He wasn't going to wait around for anymore vampires to come find him.

---

A Bar in New York City

Benjamin Grimm walked into his fourth bar of the night, scanning the room as soon as he walked in. He saw the usual stares when he did. The regulars all raised their glasses as he entered, greeting him warmly. Some newcomers looked at him wide eyes at the sight of the superhero near them. And some averted their eyes, usually with disgusted looks. It was a recurring theme for Grimm.

"Heya Thing," the bartender greeted. "The usual?"

"Not tonight Barney," Grimm replied. "I'm looking for Wolvie. You seen him?"

After failing the last few times, Grimm wasn't expecting much. Honestly, with the Wolverine's life, he was probably on the road fighting the Ghost Rider or Dracula or something. So he was surprised when Barney jerked his thumb down to the back of the room where a familiar shaggy figure was guzzling what looked like his fifth beer.

"Thanks buddy," Grimm said before walking over. As he made his way, his friend made no motion to have noticed him but Grimm had known the guy for years now and knew with that nose, his presence couldn't go unnoticed.

"Care to join me?" the man asked as Grimm reached the booth.

"Sure, but I can't stay long."

"Too bad. I'd just had my fill of drinking alone."

"I need your help."

"Figured," Logan sighed. "Well whatever the damn FF has gotten itself into, I'm a little busy right now dealing with my own shit."

"I need to find Lady Deathstrike," Grimm said.

Logan gave him a look. "What'd you want with that psychopath?" he asked, taking a gulp.

"She's gone and gotten involved with other dimensions as well as kidnapping and selling a couple dozen superpowered kids from that dimension," Grimm replied. "We found a few of them, but the others are still out there."

Logan had stopped drinking, now looking at Grimm more carefully. "Always knew that psycho was rotten to the core," he muttered. He weighed his options for a moment before sighing again. "Alright, I'll go and see what I can do to find her. I'll message you if I find anything."

"Thanks Wolvie."

"So how big is this shit?" Logan asked.

"Hydra's involved, bunch of others too," Grimm growled. He shook his head, the thought of all those kids out there in enemy hands making him sick. Especially now since he could easily picture his own kids like that. "It stretches far. Even the High Evolutionary got his sticky mitts into it."

"Sounds about right for him," Logan growled. He finished off his beer and gave a low belch before rising up. "Alright, take care Grimm. Especially now with what fat boy Willie's been saying."

Grimm rolled his eyes. He knew all about Kingpin's new program. He hadn't seen the news conference himself but from the way his phone had been blowing up from all his super friends, he didn't need to see it.

The problems really were staring to pile up, weren't they?

---

"Hmmm," Marc Spector said, looking at the struggling vampires. They hissed in rage and fear as he approached but he made no motion to attack them, merely studying the strange balls that were holding them prisoner. The same balls he'd seen on the kid's head. He was tempted to touch one but based on the struggling vampires around him, he didn't think that was a good idea.

"Guess the kid had powers," he mused. He'd been worried about the little guy and had been afraid he'd find a corpse when he finally got here or a soon-to-be vampire. But evidently this kid had managed to survive. Not too shabby.

Spector just wished he'd gotten here sooner. The last vampire had been a real pain, one of the stronger and faster types who'd clearly consumed a lot of blood in its unholy lifespan. Spector could feel still feel the consequences of that fight over his body but he'd finally managed to kill the damn thing. As soon as that was done, he'd raced over here and found these three.

"Must be humiliating, to lose like this," he commented, picking up the trashcan and looking the struggling bat in the eyes. "Don't worry," he told it. "You won't have to deal with it for much longer."

He saw the flash of fear in its eyes right before Spector finished the thing off. He then turned to the others, seeing that same fear. "Now you know how all your victims felt," he said, not an ounce of mercy or pity in his heart as he approached them, the vampires shrieking in terror before their second lives were snuffed out.

When he was done, Spector looked up at the night sky, huffing. He would look but he wasn't sure he'd be able to find the kid now which was too bad since he had intel on Doc Ock's kidnapping. At least it had to be close to where Lockley picked him up and if that was the case, Spector would just have his other self take him to the place.

Still, he hoped the kid would be ok. In this city, vampires were just one problem you faced.

---

Mineta just kept running. Every shadow, every breeze, every tiny movement made him jump and yelp in terror, thinking another vampire was flying down to kill him. He'd ripped off part of his shirt and stuffed it against his neck to help with the bleeding. It wasn't too deep as he'd managed to stop the vampire quickly, but it was terrifying to think how close he'd come to dying. Much closer than the U.S.J. or the training camp.

He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do now. Where could he go? What could he do? His friends were still in the hands of crazy octopus villain and he'd just run off from the one guy who could help him, though part of him doubted that guy was still alive seeing as he'd been fighting off a whole army of vampires. So Mineta just kept running through the different alleyways and side streets as fast as he could.

Eventually, exhaustion overcame adrenaline and he collapsed against the wall, feeling like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He was soaked in sweat and maybe some other fluids, he couldn't be sure at this point, and his whole body was sore.

He didn't know how long he stayed there. Maybe just a few minutes, maybe an hour. He just knew that he was so tired, physically and mentally, that everything shut down and he closed his eyes. But they shot back open when the sound of breaking glass hit his ears.

He blinked, his mind fighting off the sleep. As tired as he was, he wasn't yet ready for the final rest so he forced himself to wake up and see what kind of danger he was in now. He rubbed his eyes and peered out of the side street he was in, looking left and right.

He seemed to be in some kind of commercial neighborhood with a bunch of small shops around. There wasn't really anyone around so he was about to curl up again when he saw a shift in the shadows above one of the buildings.

And then something hit the moon. Or, more accurately, something appeared in front of the moon. A silhouette framed in the moon's light. A…man, it looked like. Mineta frowned, unsure. He watched as the figure turned and seemed to walk except there was something off about his legs. The way he was walking was weird.

Suddenly, the sound of glass breaking echoed again except this time Mineta heard a curse as well. "Stupid skylight. Should have been an easy score but it's so damn fragile. At least I silenced the alarms."

Those words sent alarm bells ringing in his mind. The way the guy talked…he'd robbed a place. He was a criminal, a villain. What do I do? Mineta cried internally. He couldn't fight the guy! He was just a hero in training. He hadn't actually ever fought anyone before. He'd only helped out a bit in key moments. This…this was a legit full-on bad guy.

He should call for a real hero. They would know what…oh, right. Other universe. Mineta winced and watched as the strange figure kept walking with those strange strides of his. It would be so easy to let this go. That place he robbed probably had insurance and Mineta would just die if he tried to get him. Yeah, he should just get out of here before…

He'd started backing up and accidentally walked into a trash can. He felt it start to fall and instantly whirled around, desperate to catch it. But he was too late, the can falling…right on top of a thrown-out mattress, the sound muffled from the stuffing.

"Whew," Mineta murmured, sighing in relief. "That was close."

He looked up again and saw a rat standing right in front of him.

"YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

As quickly as he made the sound, he clamped his hands over his mouth but it was too late.

"Who's there?" the villain cried out.

Time to run! Mineta screamed and he took off, dashing down the alleyway. As he did, he heard a strange sound behind him. It was kind of a thumping noise as well as a scraping noise but it came at odd intervals. And it was coming closer. Really close.

I just wanted to go to sleep thinking of Yaoyorozu and her perfect butt, he wailed internally. Is that really too much to ask for?

He turned the corner and spotted at the end of the alley a trash container. He glanced at it, glanced behind him, and knew what choice he had to make, dashing right for the container.

Only to be stopped as he reached it, staring at the item that towered just above him. He reached up and felt his heart stop as he couldn't reach the edge of the container. He was…too short!

"My stupid character design has failed me again," he whined.

"There you are."

"WAHHH!" Mineta whirled around and came face to face with…poles?

"Huh?" he asked, wondering what had happened. He was staring at two large metal poles that were sticking out of the ground. No, that wasn't right. They couldn't be sticking out of the ground as he was sure he hadn't seen them as he'd ran here. So…that meant they appeared here.

"What a strange creature you are."

Before Mineta could even look up to see where the voice had come from, the poles began to retract, lowering something down. In seconds, he was face to face with a metallic figure that sort of looked like Iida in his Ingenium outfit except he didn't give Mineta the feeling of comfort his class leader did. Instead, this guy radiated a cold and dark presence.

"Uh…hum….wh-who…who are…y-you?" Mineta stammered, fearful he might have just wet himself.

The man regarded him coldly in that robotic mask. "You don't recognize me?" he almost cried out, making Mineta jump back. "I, one of the greatest villains this city has seen? I am Stilt-Man and you had best remember the name."

Mineta stared at the man in shock. "St-stilt-Man?" he asked.

"Yes. That is me."

If he wasn't so scared right now, Mineta might have let out a small snigger. He'd heard some silly hero and villain names before, a few of his classmates coming to mind like 'Deku' for instance but they all backed it up with the power they had.

But stilts? Seriously?

"Now, what am I going to do with-"

"Grape Rush!" Mineta cried, knowing his only chance right now was the element of surprise. He started tearing more balls off his head and throwing them right at the Stilt-Man. He knew he had to have been asleep for a while as he no longer felt pain when he pulled the balls out but he wasn't sure how long that would last.

However, before any of his balls could land, Stilt-Man shot upwards, his stilts lifting him away from the purple projectiles. His left stilt then came shooting forward, faster than Mineta would have expected, and almost struck him if he hadn't ducked down at the last second, the stilt passing over his head. He supposed he could add this moment to the number of times his height had been a blessing.

"Think you can escape me, huh? Little brat!" Stilt-Man cried, his other stilt retracting up to him. "Take this!"

The stilt came back down with devastating force and Mineta leapt out of the way, the stilt smashing into the ground where he'd just been, cracking the concrete and leaving a small crater there. Mineta didn't even have time to yelp in fear as the stilt retracted and shot down at him again, forcing him to stay on the move.

What do I do? What do I do? Mineta panicked, running around the small alleyway. He felt like the fish in that barrel metaphor, just waiting to get hit. I need backup! Midoriya! Todoroki! Bakugo! Yaoyorozu! Heck, Uraraka could just float me up…up!

Mineta's gaze shot to the wall. He needed to go up, get away from this guy. His feet were the dangerous part. The rest of him…well, Mineta wasn't sure but he knew if he stayed down here then he was dead meat.

The decision made, he leapt out of the way of another strike and dashed towards the wall, already plucking more balls out. He jumped onto the wall, the balls sticking firmly to the surface, and then started climbing up as fast as possible.

"What the- what are you?" Stilt-Man demanded.

Mineta didn't answer, too busy climbing. The sleep he'd gotten had certainly helped but he was still feeling fatigued from the whole day's events. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep going. Just have to make it to the roof, he told himself. After that…

He didn't know what came after so he just kept climbing.

"Think you can escape from me?" the Stilt-Man cried and Mineta turned to see the man throw an armored punch his way. Yelping in fright, Mineta threw himself off his balls to the side, already plucking a new one and sticking it a few feet away as Stilt-Man punched through the bricks he'd just been on. He'd lost some height there, but Mineta kept going. He just had to get to the roof.

"Get over here and-"

Mineta turned and threw a ball right at the man's head, the sphere latching onto his helmet and sticking there.

"What is this?" Stilt-Man cried, grabbing the object. He instantly knew he'd made a mistake as his hand became stuck as well, unable to remove either one. "Damn you! What have you done to me?"

Mineta just kept going, almost to the roof. He thought for sure before he made it, Stilt-Man would do something to stop him. But no, he made it. Mineta gasped as he tumbled over the roof's edge and to what he viewed as safety. He'd made it. Somehow, he'd made it.

"Do you think you're safe?"

Mineta's gaze shot upwards as he stared in horror as Stilt-Man's figure loomed over him. Right, he could make himself go up. Mineta, in his fear and hopes, had forgotten that fact. But, he did take a small bit of satisfaction when he saw Stilt-Man's helmet was removed as well as his armored gauntlet on his right hand. Evidently, he'd realized it was the only way to get rid of the purple ball.

"This was supposed to be an easy score to help me make my way back to the big leagues!" Stilt-Man gargled. "You're ruining my night!"

"Hey, I just got attacked my vampires right after I escaped capture from that freakish octopus villain!" Mineta cried back. "I just wanted to rest in peace!"

Stilt-Man smirked. "I'll make sure you rest in peace alright. Permanently!"

His right stilt came up and then shot down towards Mineta, forcing him to leap out of the way again. The stilt shot into the roof and through it to whatever was below them.

I can't keep dodging, Mineta thought to himself. He had to think of something else, but what? Where could he escape to? He had so little energy right now after climbing up here. If he kept this up, he would be killed for sure. But there was nowhere safe for him to…go.

Yes, there was. One place.

Mineta stared at the stilt in the roof as it started to retract and plucked out two balls, leaping forward before he could really think about it. He landed on the stilt just as the villain pulled it free from the roof, his purple balls, sticking to it firmly.

"What the hell?" Stilt-Man cried. "Get off of me!"

"Plus Ultra!" Mineta cried, holding on for dear life as Stilt-Man waved his stilt around wildly, trying to shake Mineta off. Mineta clung to the two balls with everything he had, refusing to loosen his grip the only way he knew how.

They're not balls, they're boobs. They're not balls, they're boobs. They're not balls, they're boobs.

With that mindset firmly in place, Mineta found his grip to be unbreakable.

"Damn you brat!" Stilt-Man yelled and suddenly the stilt shot back to the ground at rapid speed. Mineta couldn't even cry out before the leg hit the concrete at full force, cracking it apart and nearly jolting him from his grip.

Yaoyorozu's boobs!

His grip tightened.

"Let go of me now!"

The stilt swung into a side building and Mineta felt brick and mortar crash into him. His whole body erupted in throbbing pain, especially his right shoulder and side, feeling like he'd dislocated and/or broken several things. But still he held on.

Ashido's boobs!

"Just let go!"

The stilt hit the ground again and Mineta nearly bit his tongue off from the impact. Instead, his teeth ground together and he swore he might have cracked a few of them. But still, he hung on.

Asui's boobs!

"Fine then!" Stilt-Man roared and the stilt swiftly retracted, bringing Mineta up to him. "I'll kill you with my bare hands!"

Mineta was in a daze now, his body feeling stiff and numb. He could tell that this might be it for him, that he really might die here. He wished his friends were here to help him because there was nothing he could do. All he had were his sticky…

He plucked a fresh ball and placed it on top of the one he was gripping. Then he grabbed another and placed it on top of that and then another and another until there was a line of purple balls just as the stilt finished retracting, the uppermost ball connecting with the bottom of Stilt-Man's suit and holding fast to it.

"Now I've got- huh?" Stilt-Man gasped, ready to grab onto Mineta until the boy leaped onto the other stilt, just managing to land on it and hold fast with two fresh balls. "Are you kidding me!" Stilt-Man bellowed. "Fine, like that's going to… huh?" he said again, trying to shoot his retraced stilt back out. But he couldn't, the purple balls keeping it in place.

"Heh," Mineta grinned. "Gotcha!"

"What have you done?" Stilt-Man demanded, trying again and again to shoot out his stilt but he couldn't, the balls refusing to budge. He knew better than to touch them with his hand now so he could only keep trying, hoping his suit would prove to be strong enough.

It didn't.

Need to finish this, Mineta thought. He knew the fight wasn't over yet. There was still one last thing he had to do. So, as Stilt-Man was distracted, he climbed up the rest of the stilt, forming the same line of balls as on the first stilt, until he reached the top, connecting the stilts to the battle suit, preventing it from telescoping again.

"What?" Stilt-Man gasped, looking over and realizing what he'd done. "No. NO!"

He was trapped, unable to move now. If he made any movement, he would lose his stance and fall. He was already doing his best to stay still, grateful for the auto-stabilizer he had installed in his suit to keep him upright. Still, it wasn't meant to hold for a long time so he had to find some way out of this.

Before he could even start to think about that, something hit him in the head. "What the…" he muttered, reaching for it, realization striking him too late as he touched the thing and felt the sticky, spherical object. "Oh no," he murmured, trying to pull his hand free and feeling his head get yanked as well. "No, no, no, no, NO!" he cried, pulling harder, trying to deny what had just happened to him. He'd gotten tricked again.

He couldn't go down like this. Not like this! He had to get free and crush this brat so that no one would ever know about this fight. He would prove himself worthy as a villain.

He yanked as hard as he could on the ball, desperate to break free, and made his last mistake as he pulled too hard, making himself stumble. And he wasn't able to catch himself.

"Oh no," he mumbled, realizing he was about to fall and there was no way to stop it. All he could do was brace as the ground came rushing towards him.

CRASH!

"Damn…it," Stilt-Man murmured, lying on the cold hard ground, his suit sparking slightly from the damage. "Done in…by that kid's…damn balls…never…going to…live that…down…am I?"

Mineta stared at the sight. When the villain had started to fall, he'd jumped over to the wall where some of his balls still were and held on, watching Stilt-Man go down. Then he climbed back up to the roof, not willing to risk getting closer to that guy in case he had any more tricks.

"I won," he murmured to himself feeling a sense of elation fill him up. "I actually won. I beat a villain."

The only way this moment could possibly be better was if there were hot girls nearby to cheer him on. But he was all alone in his victory. No one would ever know it but him.

"Well fought, young dwarf!"

"YAH!" Mineta cried, whirling around to see three figures lurking behind him. They were all men and they were all dressed like they'd just walked away from a renaissance fair. The lead one had blonde hair and a blond beard and moustache and was grinning widely. The one to his left had black hair and a black moustache and looked like his hero name or just normal name could be 'grim.' The last one was the tallest of the three as well as the widest, his belly looking comparable to a whale's.

"Twas most impressive, especially considering thy abilities," the blonde figure in front said,

"If twas I who fought the fiend, he would have fallen from one stroke!" the larger figure said, pumping his fist into the air.

"As you have said, friend Volstagg," the grim one sighed. He then eyed Mineta, making the boy gulp. "Still, thou fought valiantly lad. What is thy name?"

Mineta didn't understand several of the words they said but he understood the last one. "M-my name? Mineta."

"Dwarf Mineta!" the blonde one cried. "Thou art truly a warrior born. Thou fought with honor and vigor to the end. Wilt thou join us for a victory feast?"

"F-feast?"

"Indeed," the large one, Volstagg, nodded eagerly. "Of only the finest food and drink!"

"Tis a tavern down that way where upon we may feast to our heart's content," the blonde one explained, pointing. "Twas there that we heard thy epic clash with yonder scoundrel and came swiftly to see how we may aid thee. But thy required no assistance, warrior that thy are."

Warrior? Mineta thought, blinking. Yes. Yes, he was a warrior, wasn't he? He'd taken down a villain. Single-handedly. He'd hadn't needed Midoriya or Bakugo or Todoroki or anyone else. He had done it. All by himself.

"Yes!" he declared proudly. "I am Mineta, the great hero Grape Juice. My abilities may seem weak, but I made them strong with sheer willpower and dedication. I made them a force to be reckoned with so that all villains would tremble before me."

"How admirable!" the blonde one grinned. "I am Fandral, the dashing warrior. Here be my comrades, Volstagg the Voluminous and Hogun the Grim. Together, we make up the Warriors Three, some of the finest warriors of Asgard."

I knew it, Mineta thought, looking at Hogun the Grim. While he still looked more like a villain at first glance, he nodded at Mineta with recognition, something only a warrior would give to another warrior.

"Now, wilt thou join us in our feast, friend Mineta?" Fandral asked.

"One question," Mineta replied. "Will there be girls?"

"Ha! A man after my own heart!" Fandral declared. "There is no such thing as a victory feast without girls aplenty. Everyone knows that!"

"Then lead on!" Mineta declared fiercely, all his aches and wounds vanishing like magic.

Maybe this world wasn't so bad after all.

---

"So what are we thinking?" Peter asked, leaning over the side of the roof to look out at Fisk Tower aka the mayor's office. Apparently City Hall was too small for him so he had it moved here because, well, he was Wilson Fisk.

"What I'm thinking is why on earth did you bring the baby?" Matt asked, shaking his head at the small, giggling bundle in Peter's carrier on his chest.

"What? MJ's working late and I couldn't find a sitter. And you're the one who changed our meeting time and place, so, you know, I had to make do. Whatever, it's fine. It's not like we're planning on busting in there, right?"

Silence.

"Right?" Peter repeated.

Matt sighed. "It's a good way to find out what-"

"No, it's really not," Peter told him. "He knows us, you know. He knows all the heroes in this city but he especially knows us given the history we have with him. So, don't you think that he'd have a shi-cra- ton of safeguards in place to stop heroes from coming in," he said, looking down at Mayday at his almost swears. "Especially for the two of us after we've done it so many times and especially after what he pulled today."

Matt grunted. "Elektra said the same thing."

"Ok, you do hear that, right? Elektra said that. Elektra! Said that! What does that say when a woman whose solution to almost every problem is tackling it head-on with almost lethal force tells you that doing it now is a bad idea."

Matt grunted again and Peter noticed his friend's fists clenched so tightly, he was afraid the suit itself might snap from the pressure. "I just…I don't know how much more I can take," Matt replied. "Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin of crime, whose committed countless murders and atrocities, is mayor of the city I love. He is taking away everything I hold dear. He's gone after my friends, in and out of the costume, doing his best to make their lives miserable. And this time, there's nothing I can do to stop him without being the villain myself. And now he's going further by reenacting the law that nearly tore all of us apart. Except this time, he's doing it the 'right way' and I'm worried he might actually succeed."

Peter just stared at his friend, listening silently. He'd had the same thoughts since the press conference. If Kingpin actually made this work…what came next?

"It was bad enough when Iron Man led the initiative and I know he wasn't fully to blame but everything still went to hell. Now with Fisk leading it…who knows how bad things will get."

Peter looked down at Mayday who had gone quiet, as if she sensed how tense things had gotten. She'd been an unplanned surprise for him and MJ and, at the beginning, they'd debated even whether or not they should have her considering the world around them. In the end, they'd chosen to go through with it thanks to advice from the FF as well as Jessica Jones and Jessica Drew. The world would never not be messed up so there would never be a right time to have a kid.

Still, Peter was terrified of what kind of world Mayday would grow up in. He'd like to think they'd succeed against Fisk like they did every time but all it took was one failure on their part for everything to get messed up. The bad guys could mess up as many times as they wanted, but the heroes couldn't fail once or everything went to hell.

Peter took a breath and patted Matt on the shoulder. "Look, as much as I want to bust into that building and punch my way to Fisk's office and wrap him in up in as much webbing as my web-shooters can produce, it won't solve this. Yeah, things might get bad. But we've been through a lot of bad things and we've come out the other side. This'll be no different."

Matt huffed and nodded. "Yeah, I hope so."

"We need an actual plan though," Peter said, glaring at the Fisk sign that somehow always seemed to get bigger every time he looked at it. "Just something we can use to find out what he's up to."

"Baba!" Mayday gurgled.

"Let's call that Plan B."

"You're not funny," Matt told him.

"I'm hysterical, ask MJ. Actually, don't do that. Whatever, my point still stands. We need something. It's pretty easy to see why those new Thunderbolts of his are going along with this since they probably get some kind of clean slate for their crimes or something like that…huh?" he blinked, seeing Matt's finger in his face. "I'm guessing I'm not number one so what's happening?"

"Not all of them," Matt said. "What about those new ones? The ones at the end?"

"The kids?"

"They were kids?"

"Yeah, looked to be teenagers, maybe 15 or 16, something like that. Fisk said they would be headlining the Thunderbolts. If I guessed, they're probably not former criminals but probably actual burgeoning heroes who just fell into the wrong crowd."

"Maybe," Matt muttered, stroking his chin. "We should look into them. See what we can find out. Might be nothing, but…"

"Might be something," Peter nodded. "Alright, I'll let MJ know when I see her next. But that's a longshot at best. I'm kind of hoping for something more concrete we could go on right now."

"We need to get into that tower and find out what's really going on," Matt said. "If the old way is out, then we need a new way in."

"Nice words but they don't mean much."

"What I mean," Matt emphasized, "is that we need someone on the inside, someone who could give us information. Maybe even one of these new Thunderbolts."

"U.S. Agent won't talk. Same with Moonstone and Rhino. Ghost and Boomerang are wild cards. And Sandman…I don't know, that guy's got an odd personality. I'm leaning more towards no right now as he probably won't risk anything that would keep him from seeing his daughter and this likely gives him that chance."

"I know all that."

Peter looked over at him. "You're still on those kids, huh? Well, I don't have any better ideas so yeah, like I said I'll get MJ to look into them and…hold up."

"What?" Matt asked, sensing Peter leaning forward on the roof.

"That truck."

"The garbage one?" Matt asked, the smell of it making him wrinkle his nose.

"Yeah. Given what happened today, I actually forgot about this. MJ an Urich found out there was some kind of criminal sale or buy or something that went down and something was transported in those trucks. And Urich confirmed one of the drivers works for Fisk."

Matt nodded, following along. "So you think he stole something or sold something off?"

"Don't know. But it's a lead, right?"

"Definitely," Matt agreed, a spark of hope rising in him. "I'll go find Urich, see if he can tell me the driver's name. Then, I'll go get that guy to confess exactly what he was transporting."

"Great. What should I do?"

"Whatever you want," Matt shrugged before pausing. "Actually, you said it was some kind of criminal sale?"

"Yeah. Evidently Titanium Man and the Abomination were crowing about it in some bar."

"So, go after them," Matt said as if it was obvious.

"Oh gee, why didn't I think of that?" Peter asked sarcastically. "Titanium Man already left the country and I can't swing my way across the Atlantic. And given what this little angel's already costing me," he added, holding up the giggling baby, "I can't afford to chase after him via plane."

"Ok, then what about Abomination?"

"Not unless I have at least Thor and Captain Marvel as backup," Peter replied. "That dude's as strong as the Hulk and I'm not interested in breaking half my body for a small lead again. But…" he suddenly said, thinking it over. "They did talk loudly which means other people might have heard what they said. So maybe one of them knows. Or, even better, they may not be the only ones involved. Huh, maybe it's time I took another little stroll through the Bar with No Name."

"Have fun with that."

"I can literally hear the sarcasm dripping from your mouth."

Before Matt could reply, there was a crashing sound from below and they both turned, Matt to listen and Peter to look.

"Five guys breaking into a restaurant, all armed, two with guns, one with a crowbar, two with bats," Matt said before Peter even made it to the roof's edge.

"Wish I could do all that," Peter said. "Alright, go get them."

Matt looked at him in confusion. "Why do I have to do it?"

Peter held up Mayday who had lowered her knitted spider-mask over her face as if she was ready to fight the bad guys herself. "I've got a baby man. This is all on you."

"I told you not to bring her."

"Well I couldn't leave her alone at home. Now stop complaining and hop to it. If you can't take on five guys pulling a B&E like that, you're in the wrong business."

Matt sighed. "Alright. But I hope you're not planning on taking her to the Bar with No Name."

"What kind of father do you think I am?"

Matt just gave him a look before leaping over the edge of the room.

"You just lost all babysitting privileges!" Peter muttered, knowing his friend could still hear it. Then, as the sounds of combat reached him, he patted Mayday on the head while looking back at Fisk Tower. Small leads, that was all they had right now. Just very small leads.

He just hoped they lead somewhere. Or else…he didn't want to think what Fisk would turn this city into.

---

"Am I in…heaven?" Mineta asked, looking down at what could only be described as paradise.

"Nay, but tis close enough to mine eyes!" Fandral declared loudly over the throbbing music.

Mineta had heard of these. He'd seen videos of them online, seen them on TV and in movies, heard about people talking about them. He'd always wanted to go, counting down the days until he could. And now, here he was, in one.

An honest to god dance club.

It was packed with people, all dancing around one another. Mineta could feel the music hitting his bones, making his whole body vibrate to the tune. He could smell the alcohol in the air and the salty junk food being served. But it was what he saw that really grabbed him.

The girls. All the smoking hot ladies dancing wildly around in their tight dresses and revealing clothes, some leaving little to the imagination. He was practically slobbering at the sight. No, no never mind, he really was now.

"I…I thought you said this was a, uh, tavern?" he asked hoarsely.

Fandral looked over at him, bewildered. "Is this not a tavern? There be many such places on Asgard, aye some with even louder music and more voluptuous gals!"

"More…" Mineta felt his eyes widen and his breath hitch. Of course he knew voluptuous meant. He'd made it his mission to know every word on that side of the dictionary. And he couldn't imagine there being a place with sexier ladies than right here. He just couldn't get enough of all the sights.

But as he took a step, he felt a large shadow fall over him, making him look up at the towering giant in the dark suit. "Hold it," the man said. "No minors allowed in."

"Uh…" Mineta gasped, feeling his sudden dreams vanishing as fast as they appeared.

"Minor?" Fandral questioned, stepping in. "This is mine true companion, Mineta the Miniature Warrior. His stature may be small, but his spirit is mighty! He defeated a vile villain and thus must celebrate his accomplishment in this fine establishment."

"Yeah, that's good and all but-"

"Here," Fandral dropped a small sack in the man's hands. "To compensate, good sir." When the man looked inside he gasped before quickly shoving the sack in his pocket and waving them all in.

"Have a wonderful time and if you need anything, just come find me and I'll be more than happy to help."

"Thank you, good sir. Just lead me to yonder kitchen and I will be happy," Volstagg said while Hogun sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Of course, it's right over there."

It was at that point that Mineta stopped listening. His body just moved on its own, heading right to the dance floor to get as close to the beautiful babes as possible. He wanted to see everything, experience everything. He wanted it all.

He didn't know how much time passed, all if it a blur after that. He knew he danced and partied, moving to the rhythm of the music. He lost himself in the moment, feeling more alive than he ever had before.

There were so many girls around him, all wearing such exposed material that he felt like he really might have died in that fight with Stilt-Man and gone to heaven. And he got to dance with them all. That bit actually surprised him. Normally, all the girls took one look at his tiny stature, his strange face, and the balls on his head, and just shook their heads in disgust before walking off. The girls at U.A. hadn't been like that, they had only shown their disgust in him once his perverted nature came out (which wasn't a crime! Or if it was it shouldn't be! What was so wrong about enjoying the sight of smoking hot chicks?).

So why weren't any of these ladies leaving.

Then, suddenly, the floor opened up around him. He hadn't realized it had been happening but now he was alone in the middle of the dance floor. He felt his heart skip a beat, wondering if they found out he was a minor or maybe they actually were disgusted by him. Maybe he'd been staring at girl's chest for too long again. Or maybe-

"Bust a move, little guy!"

Huh?

He blinked and then, as he looked around, he realized none of the people were jeering at him or curling their lips or looking at him with disgust. They were…cheering? Grinning and smiling at him. But…why?

And that was when he realized, as he had been moving to the music, he'd been dancing the whole time, using those lessons from Ashido for the School Festival as well as his own natural flexibility and agility from constantly bouncing off his balls to, as they said, bust a move.

None of the girls were looking at him disgust or revulsion. Instead it was…adoration!

Don't fail me now! he cried internally before he got down and spun, flipping back up after two rotations and moving his arms and legs in tandem with the song just as Ashido had taught him, feeling the crowd's cheering soar. But he didn't stop there. He showed off his athletic prowess by doing a back flip and then a front flip, landing on his arms easily and rising back up to even more cheers. Because of all his climbing, his arm muscles were very strong.

He twirled, he spun, he got down, he slid, he jiggled, he flipped, and he split. He did all the moves and more, his body sometimes just doing it on its own before he could even think of it, the crowd cheering him on every time.

This is perfection, he thought.

Finally, he couldn't take anymore and took a bow, panting heavily from the exertion. He'd forgotten about his injuries from the fight with Stilt-Man in the heat of the moment but now his body was reminding him painfully. Still, it had all been worth it.

"That was awesome!"

"You got some sweet moves!"

"You're pretty cute, you know."

Utter perfection! Mineta thought staring right at the hot girl who just complemented him. Or, a certain part of her anyway.

"Th-thanks," he replied. "It was nothing really, just some skills I picked up."

"Thou art full of surprises, young dwarf!"

Mineta staggered a little from the clap he received on the back as Fandral reappeared. "Uh…" he groaned.

"An amazing fighter and a wondrous dancer! Thy skills are a true marvel! Now, let us drink!"

"Uh…" Mineta repeated as Fandral practically shoved him over to the bar where Hogun had been sitting the whole time, a whole line of empty bottles next to him. The man gave Mineta a stiff nod before chugging down another bottle. Nearby, at a table, Volstagg was consuming what looked like all the food the club had to offer.

"Barkeep!" Fandral cried. "Only thy very finest for mine good friend here!"

The bartender looked down at Mineta and frowned. "I think I'll need to see some ID for that."

"Aye dee?" Fandral questioned, confused. "What is-"

"Here," Hogun said, dropping another small sack in front of the bartender. "Let the lad drink. He's earned it tonight."

"Um…" the bartender mumbled, looking at the sack. "I could really use my job, and probably my license, if I let a minor-"

Another sack dropped in front of him.

The bartender sighed. "One drink. That's it," he warned, pouring a shot of alcohol and placing it in front of Mineta who stared at it in wonder. A drink of alcohol. Actual alcohol. Right in front of him. He'd imagined this moment before so many times but now it was actually happening. Personally, he thought it would happen in his graduation from U.A. in celebration of officially making it as a hero. But no, it was happening right now. He couldn't believe it. He had to be in a dream or something cause there was no way any of this could possibly be real.

Well if it was a dream, he was going to enjoy it til the end cause he really did not want it to end.

He grabbed hold of the small glass and, after a second's pause, swallowed the contents in one gulp.

"AYE!" he cried, almost puking the drink back up. "Oh, what is that?"

"Light beer," the bartender replied. "Guessing that's your first drink, kid. Most people react that way. I'd say you get used to it but I'm cutting you off now."

"Yeah, that's fine," Mineta said, wiping his tongue with his clothes. "Maybe something else instead? Non-alcoholic?"

"I got some root beer."

As the bartender went to get that instead, Mineta looked back at the club and decided to just enjoy the view instead. All those dancing hot babes. This was utter perfection. And a welcome distraction from the terrible night he'd had what with Stilt-Man and those vampires and of course escaping death by getting away from that octopus villain…

He froze, feeling his blood go cold. What was he doing here? Why was he here? He shouldn't be here. As amazingly perfect as all this was, he couldn't be here. His friends were in trouble, captives of a madman, and he was…partying?

There were many times in his life where people said he should be ashamed of his actions but he never had. But this time…this time he really did. The second he met these warriors he should have asked them to help him instead of just indulging in this epic and hot fantasy. If anything happened to his friends while he was doing this…he wouldn't forgive himself. He couldn't call himself a hero anymore.

He was so lost in thought, he barely noticed the smoking hot chick who came by, flirting with Fandral who accepted eagerly. Normally Mineta would be drooling over someone like her but now he just couldn't do it. He didn't deserve to ogle a girl like her, something he never thought he would not do.

"What's wrong, friend Mineta?" Hogun asked next to him, noticing his dismal expression.

Mineta turned to him. "I-I messed up. I let down my friends."

"How so, pray tell?"

"Well, I-"

"Here you are, a root beer," the bartender said, returning with the glass.

"Ah my thanks, good sir. Here, have…eh?" Fandral said curiously. His hands wandered over his clothes in confusion. "It would seem mine money hath been displaced."

Hogun sighed and placed several golden coins that made Mineta blink in amazement before the bartender who couldn't have snatched them up any faster. "Thou must be more careful, Fandral. Before thou becomes like Volstagg."

"Oh my," Fandral said, his face becoming gaunt. "I did not realize mine path was heading there. But still, I knew I had the money when we entered and when I sat here. So…"

"Hey, my wallet's gone!"

The three of them looked up at the sudden cry, seeing a man frantically checking his pockets a little ways down the bar, the bartender watching annoyed while his date was tapping her foot, a frustrated look on her face.

"This is just like you. I told you to check your pockets before we left. Now I'll just…wait," she suddenly said after reaching into her handbag, her own panicked look appearing. "Where's my purse? It was just here."

"It was stolen too!"

The word 'stolen' made its way to nearby dancers who were able to hear it through the music. They immediately stopped and instinctively checked their own pockets and handbags and wherever they put their money. A few sighed in relief while others' eyes went wide in panic as they realized they'd just been robbed.

"There's a thief here!"

"Who is it?"

"Where'd they go?"

"It would seem I owe thou an apology, Fandral," Hogun said, finishing up his drink. "Thou were merely robbed."

"My thanks Hogun. Still, there is a scoundrel among us and I will find the knave and make him pay for his actions!" Fandral said heatedly. "Now, I had the money when I sat down here as I was about to pay for friend Mineta's drinks when thou beat me to it, Hogun. Then…ah, it would seem once again I have fallen under the temptations of the fairer sex."

"The woman," Hogun nodded in understanding. "Aye, that makes sense. She used her guiles to deceive thee Fandral. Just as what happened with Loki back-"

"Hamina, hamina, hamina, hamina!" Fandral cried, stopping Hogun. "Thou agreed to never repeat that tale. Now, we must make haste and find the female scoundrel who has besmirched my good nam-"

"There!" Mineta said, pointing across the room. While the two had been talking, he'd been looking. He thought that this was perhaps the real reason he'd been sent here. Not to party all night and wash his troubles away, but to stop a thief from robbing everyone blind. That made up for him coming here and forgetting about his friends' troubles…right?

Ok, it didn't, but at least this way he could try and make up for that.

He had scanned the room for that woman. It was a thing with him but when it came to the beauties, he never forgot a single thing about them. So he was easily able to pinpoint her location even through the lights and dancers, tracking her to where she was currently flirting with the bouncers for what appeared to be the VIP room.

"Aye, that be her!" Fandral declared, rushing over as the bouncers let her through. Hogun sighed and made his way over to where Volstagg was finishing up his latest meal. Mineta followed Fandral only for both of them to be blocked by the bouncers.

"Sorry, only VIPs and their guests allowed past this point," the bouncer said.

"What about that wench!" Fandral said heatedly, pointing at the woman who disappeared into the room. "She has stolen from me and I want my money back!"

"She's a special guest of the boss and-"

"Well, does your boss know that she's a thief?" Mineta asked. He knew there was no way Fandral was getting in there without fighting and that would just make things worse. And judging from the clothing these guys had on, it would take a hefty bribe to persuade them to let Mineta and the Warriors Three inside, more than what getting their money back was probably worth (Mineta knew a lot about expensive clothes as he'd heard a rumor that girls loved men in fancy clothes and thought that might be a way he could seduce them). But fear of a boss? Yes, if they knew about a thief going in and didn't warn him…well, that changed-

"Ah, who cares?" the bouncer snorted. "The guy's a jackass and he doesn't pay me nearly enough to care about all that. Now, I suggest you-"

"Foul ingrate!" Fandral cried, striking the man down with his fist and faceplanting him into the floor. "Thou would forsake thy oath to protect thy lord! How cowardly!"

The second he did that, all the other guards swarmed him. But they didn't get very far as Hogun and Volstagg appeared, tackling the guards and tossing them aside with ease. Volstagg even used his super-sized belly to bounce the guards out of the way.

"Pitiful!" Fandral spat. "Fools such as these are merely poor imitations of guardsmen. Now come, fellow warriors, so that we may find the wench that stole from me and claim retribution! Onwards!"

Without another word, he charged forward towards the VIP doors.

"Is he always like this?" Mineta asked Hogun.

"Sadly, yes."

"Volstagg, put that girth of thine to good use and smash this door down."

"What? Mine girth is normal. I have no greater girth than-"

"Just break the door down, if thou would be so kind. If a mighty warrior such as yourself can."

Volstagg rolled up his sleeves and then charged, looking like a raged hippopotamus as he slammed his shoulder into the heavy doors and broke them down, falling on top of them. The instant they were down, Fandral, Hogun, and Mineta ran inside.

"What the hell?" the guy inside cried out. He had taken his shirt off revealing a body only a few meals away from Volstagg's girth and had been in the midst of removing his pants as well. Seated across from him, looking surprised by their sudden entrance, was the woman from the bar. And she was even finer than Mineta remembered in a beautiful black dress. He felt like he could have a heart attack from all those curves. And that gorgeous, silver hair that dripped down her shoulders.

"My apologies, good sir, but this foul wench has deceived thee," Fandral declared. "She hast stolen mine money as well as the money of many fine occupants of this establishment and was no doubt planning on stealing thine as well."

"Wh-what?" the man said, quickly pulling his pants back up. "You…you bitch! No one steals from Todd Phelps and gets away with it."

"Oh, but I already did," the woman said slyly, pulling a wallet out from her purse, making Todd gasp and check his pockets. The woman then stood up and grabbed a few scarves and hats from a nearby rack that was there for some reason.

"Hey, those are custom made!"

"Yes, from the finest material your money could buy. Which means they should fetch me a pretty penny," the woman winked at Todd.

"You bit-"

The woman's foot came up before he could finish, kicking him in the chin and knocking him backwards onto the bed where he lay flat, groaning until he lost consciousness a few seconds later.

"Foul wench!" Fandral cried. "I will have the money thou hast stolen from me!"

"Sorry buddy, you just had so much and it was just so easy," the woman shrugged. "No hard feelings right. Here, on the house."

She tossed a small object from the purse on her side that instantly exploded into a cloud of smoke when it hit the ground, making them all cough. Mineta covered his mouth with his hands and prepared to rush forward when something else flew through the smoke, striking Fandral in the face. The second he realized it was, he felt his whole body heat up so quickly it was like he had been dunked in lava.

It was her dress. And if she threw it off, that could only mean…that she was…

"This really can only be heaven," he muttered, dashing through the smoke as fast as possible to get a good look at what would have to be the greatest thing in the world.

Unfortunately, when made it through, he didn't find a naked girl. Instead, she had taken off the dress to pull on a costume. It was a tight black suit with silver lines running down it and a puffy white collar. There were also white tufts sticking from the wrists and ankles.

"This has been fun boys, but luck's not really on your side," she told them with a wink. "I am the Black Cat after all."

---

Space

"Captain, we are on approach!" the Ravager said, the ship moving slowly out of its position behind the asteroids to where the other ship in the distance was.

"Excellent," Taserface said, grinning fiercely. "Get all weapons hot boys! We're bagging ourselves a big score today!"

"Yeah!" the other Ravagers cheered.

Taserface and his crew had been looking out for what their next job would be. That was when they spotted a ship on their sensors and Taserface couldn't believe his luck when he recognized it. It was more of a flying red fortress than a ship. Honestly, it looked more like an asteroid than anything else. But that's what made it so recognizable. The ship that belonged to the High Evolutionary that had who knew how many different oddities and wonders inside that could each fetch a price on the black market. An epic payday for them all.

With that kind of money as well as the rep he would get for taking on the High Evolutionary, Taserface could finally make a name for himself. His crew was big but they were still considered one of the smaller factions of the Ravager Syndicate. This job could boost them up a great deal, make them one of the more feared and respected factions. Than he could shove it up Yondu's ass.

"That'll be the dream," he growled, readying his gun. He couldn't wait.

---

New York City, Dance Club

Mineta stared as the incredibly sexy woman leaped out the window and over the balcony. He thought she might have some sort of jumping or flying Quirk or something like that but instead she just pulled out a grappling hook, shooting it off to the building opposite them and soaring away.

"Curses!" Fandral cried. "We'll never catch up now!"

"Oh well," Volstagg sighed. "Let us drown our sorrows with some more of the fine brew made here, shall we? And perhaps some dessert as well. I spotted a delicious-"

"I can do it."

The Warriors Three turned to Mineta as he spoke. "Friend Mineta?" Fandral said in confusion.

"I can chase after her. Just throw me at her and I'll take care of the rest."

"Are thou sure?"

Mineta stared at them with a fire in his eyes, taking them by surprise with his intensity. "I'll chase down that super-hot babe for you and get your money back. In exchange, I need your help in taking down an octopus villain whose captured my friends."

They all stared at him for another second before glancing at one another. "We would help thee regardless," Hogun informed him. "Still, if thou wishes to chase the wench down, thou may do so. Now, thou requested a boost?"

"Yes. Toss me her way!" Mineta repeated. "I can take it from there."

"If thou is sure."

Hogun grabbed hold of Mineta by the waist and hoisted him up. "We will follow as close behind as we can, friend Mineta!" he declared.

"Fortune be with thee!" Fandral added.

Hogun pulled his arm back and then threw Mineta forward like he was launching a ball. Mineta flew through the air, the wind whipping against his face. But he was used to this thanks to his training. He didn't know how strong Hogun was and was actually a little surprised. But it didn't matter. This was the kind of thing he was good at.

The super-hot babe was right ahead and he was closing in, already across the street. But now he was coming in for a landing. Already with a ball in hand, Mineta looked to where he'd come down and tossed the ball, his feet landing square on it and bouncing off, launching him back up in the air and towards the sexy criminal.

"Grape Bounce!" he cried as he came down again, already throwing another ball to bounce off of.

"Huh?" the woman said, turning in surprise to see him coming at her. "What the hell? What are you?"

"I am the fresh-picked hero Grape Juice!" Mineta declared proudly. "And your villainy stops today, thief! I'll be taking back my friend's money!"

What a view! he thought, staring down at her at the perfect angle. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to last as the woman, Black Cat she called herself, turned and began running away even faster. Mineta bounced off the next ball, in hot pursuit of her.

"You can't escape!" Mineta cried, throwing more balls her way as he bounced up again. She glanced back and saw them coming, dodging out of the way in time.

"Alright you short little…pitcher," Black Cat said side-stepping another ball toss. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

She pulled something from her belt, tossing it Mineta's way just as he came down on another ball. He saw it coming and instantly shifted his foot, bouncing off to the left instead of forward and letting the smoke bomb go off harmlessly away from him. He swiftly pulled out another ball and used it to bounce forward again.

"You'll have to do better than that!" he cried, resuming the chase.

"What the hell is this guy's deal?" Black Cat muttered, readying her grappling hook again. She leapt off the roof and fired it towards the next building across the street, yanking herself further away.

"Not so fast!" Mineta cried as he landed on the latest ball. When he did, he scrunched himself down low, compressing himself before firing back into the air, the momentum giving him an extra boost of speed. With that, he then threw out the long line of balls he'd been forming as he jumped around. "Mineta Beads!"

Just before Black Cat could escape, the end of the line snagged her boot, sticking to her. Her grappling hook yanked her over to the building with Mineta now along for the ride.

"You little pest!" she yelled, trying to shake off the balls but wasn't able to. "Get off me!"

"Not happening hot stuff!" he replied, climbing up the line towards her. "You stole my friend's money and you have to pay for that. In whatever way you can, of course," he added slyly.

"Ugh, so you're a creep too you gremlin!" Black Cat growled. This was supposed to be an easy job. An easy mark and a solid escape. But then she'd had to run into this strange…thing who wouldn't leave her alone. He was even more annoying than the spiders. At least with them, she knew what to expect. She didn't even know what this guy was. Or what those balls that were sticking to her were either.

She came in for a landing atop the roof and nearly tripped when her foot landed on those strange balls, only just managing to catch herself. But it was when she tried to move her foot that she saw the problem. The balls were now stuck to the roof as well as her foot, trapping her. And whatever weirdness worked on her seemed to have no effect on the creator, the short boy now standing up and rushing to her.

Acting fast, she cut her suit off at the ankle, pulling her bare foot free from the shoe-segment. She then took another smoke bomb from her belt and tossed it at the perverted kid before running like hell. But she skidded to a halt when she realized she didn't hear the booming and spraying noise the bomb made. She turned around and gaped at the sight of the smoke grenade in that kid's hands, a purple ball fastened to the nozzle, preventing any smoke from leaking out.

"These bombs aren't anything I can't handle," Mineta said, hoping he sounded cool just then and that this total babe didn't noticed just how bad his legs were trembling.

"Hmmm," Black Cat, placing a nail on her lips as she purred. "You are full of surprises, little boy."

"Little boy!" Mineta spluttered. "I'm a grown man, I'll have you know!"

"Sure you are. You've proven quite entertaining this evening. But I'm afraid I have to run now."

"You think I'll let you escape just like that?" Mineta cried out. He instantly began throwing his balls at her as fast as he could. "Grape Rush!"

"Really leaning into the whole grape thing, huh?" Black Cat commented, dodging the balls easily. "Guess it's better than calling them balls all the time." She did a backflip to avoid more of the grape balls and then twisted around midair to land between the ones stuck to the rooftop. That was when she started to realize the problem in front of her. He was covering the roof in these grape balls, making it harder with each second that passed to move around. She had to leave here before things got worse.

She pulled out her grappling hook, ready to leap to another building, when the kid threw another flurry of grape balls her way. She dodged the ones aiming to hit her with ease and ignored the others that were going to fly past her. But that was a mistake as one of them wasn't aiming for her at all but for her weapon. She felt a bump in her hand and her eyes went wide when she saw a grape ball now attached to the end of her grapple, right where the hooks were. She moved to pull it off but stopped at the last second. If she touched it, her hand would be stuck too.

She cursed, glaring over at the kid while still dodging the grape balls coming her way. Now she couldn't leave here via the grapple as anything she shot it towards, it would just fall off thanks to the grape ball. She had no choice but to run.

But then the kid moved towards her and she blinked when he jumped on one of the balls scattered across the rooftop. Instantly, he shot towards her, making her leap aside. He flew past, twisted around, and landed on another ball where he just bounced back towards her. As he did, he threw a ball, making her dodge again.

"Grape Bounce!" Mineta cried, using all the balls around to bounce around the hot babe. Every time he went up in the air, he threw more balls at her, forcing her to stay on the move. And when he saw her trying to escape, he threw balls ahead of her to prevent that. And every time he did, the roof got more and more covered, making it harder for her to maneuver around without touching them as more time passed. Soon enough, she'd stumble and then he'd have her.

"This is so ridiculous and annoying!" Black Cat seethed, landing on her hands and feet like a cat in between the grape balls and scooching around to avoid touching them. "Why couldn't I be fighting the Spider right now? Or literally any other hero or villain?"

But as ridiculous and annoying as it was, she couldn't deny the fact that it was getting more and more dangerous for her. She was watching the boy carefully and could tell that with every bounce he made, he compressed his body into the ball to give him an extra boost of speed, making him go faster and making it harder to dodge him.

A second later, she was proven right as she wasn't able to dodge one of his grape balls, him throwing one right at her gauntlet at such speed and accuracy that she couldn't move it away in time. She grumbled and then kept dodging, making another run towards the roof's edge. And again, a flurry of balls blocked her way. One nearly hit her foot and she back off quick. But as she ran backwards, she had to avoid all the grape balls on the roof and cursed as she nearly hit one. She swerved her body around to avoid it and got a ball in the shoulder as a result.

"Shit!" she cursed.

"Gotcha!" Mineta crowed in triumph.

"Little twerp!" she growled. She jammed her already balled glove onto the fresh ball and yanked, ripping her suit at the shoulder. She then tore the glove off, tossing it aside and glared heatedly at the ball-throwing brat who was…drooling? She followed his gaze to her now bare shoulder and sighed. "Typical," she muttered. Still, this did give her an idea.

I need to throw my grape balls all over her costume! Mineta mentally declared, coming at her with two balls already primed to go. But as he did, Black Cat stared up and him then tore off more of her suit, revealing more skin.

Mineta felt like his heart stopped and his min went completely blank, the only thing registering that that super-hot lady was taking off her clothes.

Then his body folded over as she leaped forward and punched him in the gut. He heaved, spit spluttering from his mouth, and he hit the ground, rolling like a pinball between all the different grape balls.

"Should have tried that from the start," Black Cat sighed, shaking her head. "Oh well. Now I can get going. Wish this grapple would…oh!" she blinked in surprise before cursing herself. She'd thought when the grape ball had struck her grapple, it would stop it. But it was also sticky! Which meant it worked the exact same as the grapple. She could have left this whole time! "That's embarrassing," she muttered, before raising her grapple to the nearby roof and preparing to press the trigger.

"Not so fast!"

Black Cat looked up in time to see the perverted brat diving right for her too fast for her to dodge. She could only gasp in surprise right before he struck.

Mineta had managed to get to his feet, shaking his head, after pinballing between all his different balls, and looked up to see the sexy babe getting ready to leave. Instinct took over in that moment and he leaped onto the nearest ball, launching himself at her as fast as possible.

That moment couldn't have been any closer to perfection as he managed to land smack dab in the center of her chest, his face sinking into paradise.

Ah! he thought. So soft and-

"Perverted scum!"

That was the last thing he knew before something struck his head and he felt a million volts of electricity shoot through his body. He landed in a heap on the ground, still sighing in contentment despite his whole body now twitching uncontrollably. He even believed he might have lost control of his bladder.

"So…worth…it…" he mumbled before drifting off into unconsciousness.

"Disgusting creep," Black Cat grumbled, kicking the guy a little to get him away from her. Without waiting another second, she fired off the grappling hook, soaring away just as she heard the sounds of those men from the club approaching.

"Friend Mineta!" Fandral cried in alarm, seeing his fallen friend. "Ah, I see thou hast fought valiantly but alas, twas in vain. Fear not, thou performed admirably and proved thyself a true friend. I will never forget thy efforts in my name. Now come, let us drown our sorrows in nearest tavern! Though, not the previous one, I'm afraid. We were asked to leave and not return, given the circumstances. However, I will find us a new place to…"

---

Roxxon Headquarters

"What's the prediction then?"

"Sir, we've struck a gold mine. Probably literally," Simon Krieger said through the screen, his grin actually authentic for once. "That young girl, Momo Yaoya…something, will send Roxxon Oil way above everyone else. More so than we already are."

Dario Agger aka the Minotaur nodded in satisfaction. He had his fingers in a number of different investments and when it came to businesses, it didn't always pan out. But it seems this one was proving to be a major success. That young girl who could produce any number of objects with her own body would propel Roxxon to…well, it was hard to say how far they'd go. That was how special she was.

And if they could duplicate that ability? The very thought sent shivers down Agger's spine.

The only thing that could make this all better was if he had that other powered child. The electricity manipulator, calamari something or other. If he that boy too, Roxxon's production wouldn't just go through the roof, it would annihilate it.

Unfortunately, his informants had told him A.I.M. had managed to acquire the boy, making it difficult to get him back. But no matter. There were many people out there who owed him a favor and others willing to do anything for money. Soon enough, that boy would be his.

---

Crossbones checked his weapons and gear before eyeing his companions in the truck. All of them loyal agents to Hydra under Baron Zemo. Personally Crossbones didn't really care which Hydra faction came out on top, as long as he got paid. But Zemo came from old money, which meant he wouldn't be running out of his anytime soon, making him Crossbones's go-to guy for jobs, such as this one.

Sure, it was another 'grab-the-powered-kids' mission but seeing as the last one had gone south, Crossbones did want to make up for it. He didn't like it when his assignments failed. Made him look bad and sank his rep.

Their target this time was Roxxon Oil Corporation, specifically the main facility who'd managed to get their hands on those super-secretive powered kids too. Crossbones didn't understand what was so special about these kids and why people wanted them so badly. But he wasn't paid to understand or care, just get the job done.

The truck made a screeching noise and came to a stop. They had arrived.

"Alright people," Crossbones said to his assembled team. "Let's move out."

---

Mineta groaned, his eyes blinking from the harsh light shining down on him. He held up his hand to cover it as he slowly got up, his mind shaking off the last remnants of sleep.

"What happened?" he muttered. "Where am I?"

"Ah, friend Mineta! Thou art awake!"

Mineta blinked again as a massive figure obscured his sight. It took him a second to realize it was Volstagg looming over him. It took him another second to realize the harsh light was from a street lamp that he was lying under.

"What…"

"Tis a welcome sight to see thou hast awoken. Thou fought valiantly against the vile wench, but alas she was too cunning."

Mineta frowned, remembering the fight, before he let off a slight moan as to how the fight ended. He could still feel himself sinking into paradise. "Yeah…cunning…" he murmured.

"But of course!"

The sudden cry jolted him upwards and he looked around to see Fandral and Hogun a few meters away alongside a cute woman who appeared to be in her mid-20s. She may be dressed in a coat but Mineta could still see how hot she was.

"The Warriors Three will be more than happy to help!" Fandral declared. "And friend Mineta as well, I am sure!"

"Uh…what?" Mineta asked, walking forward.

"Oh, friend Mineta. Thou art awake! What fortunate timing!" Fandral beamed. "We were walking through the park and came upon this lovely lady who is in need of our assistance."

The woman smiled at him. "Hi there. Uh…are you old enough for-"

"Don't worry," Mineta said, flashing her his most charming smile. "I can handle anything. I'm a hero in training."

"Oh…I see," the woman nodded. "My name is Betty Brandt. Nice to meet you."

"Please, the pleasure is all mine."

"True words," Fandral nodded while Hogun sighed next to him.

"Mine apologies, lady Brandt," he said, pushing Fandral aside. "We will depart at once and return either with information or with the lost souls you seek."

Instantly Mineta felt a shiver run down his spine. "Uh…lost souls?"

"What do you mean…lost souls?" Volstagg asked next to him, sounding just as nervous.

"I've been doing some research into some disappearances in the area," Brandt explained. "It hasn't been making a lot of noise given everything that's been going on recently and sadly the people who've gone missing aren't really the type others notice being missing. But I think there's something sinister going on and was planning on investigating it myself until I ran into you gentlemen."

"And we are more than happy to help you, dear lady," Fandral said. "We will track thy missing civilians and return them safely or die in the attempt."

Mineta gulped. Die?

"No, please don't die," Brandt said hurriedly. "Just please find out whatever you can."

"Have no fear!" Fandral continued, brandishing his sword now. "The Warriors Three with their dwarfish companion Mineta shall journey into the unknown and defeat all enemies within. Tis no trouble whatsoever."

Mineta personally thought it was a little troublesome. As hot as this lady was, he wasn't sure if he should be focusing on this right now. His friends were still in trouble and he'd let himself get distracted enough. It was time to save them.

But…he couldn't do it alone. He'd thought the Warriors Three would be able to help him but if they were going to help Brandt instead, then Mineta was back where he started.

Wait.

He turned back to look at Brandt again, this time not focusing on her desirable assets. "Excuse me, you said research?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. "I'm a reporter for the Daily Bugle."

Mineta didn't know what that meant but a reporter could help him out here. "I have a favor to ask. I recently escaped from a villain called…Octopus Man or something."

"Doctor Octopus?" Brandt asked, gasping a little.

"Yeah, him! I managed to escape but he still has my friends. If you're a reporter, do you think-"

"Leave it to me!" Brandt nodded firmly. "I know people who can get in touch with other heroes out there. We'll track Doc Ock down and save your friends. But…shouldn't you go?"

"Aye, friend Mineta," Hogun said. "Thy friends require thy aid. We three can handle this matter."

"Of course!" Fandral added, flourishing as well for some reason.

"I wish, but…I'm not strong enough on my own to handle this Doctor Octopus," Mineta said, looking down. Honestly, right now he felt more like running away as fast as possible than dealing with all of this. He knew he was in the hero course but he'd joined up so he could look cool and land the hot girls. Unfortunately, none of that had worked out. But still, he was a hero student and if there was one thing he'd learned these last few months was that he couldn't just run away from everything or be goaded into being a hero. He had to step up. Sure, it would be an awesome plus if the classmates he was rescuing were some of the hot girls. But then again, if he did rescue them, maybe the girls would finally look at him differently. Also, since they'd all been captured, he still had a shot to rescue some girls. But right now, he had to rescue his friends. And he couldn't do it alone.

"I need help," he said firmly. 'I was going to ask you but…you already promised to help Brandt here. And I can't wait too much longer. So I'll help you with this and then, will you help me save my friends?"

"Ha!" Fandral laughed. "But of course, friend Mineta! It would be an honor to fight beside you."

"Indeed!" Volstagg added. "And the Mighty Volstagg shall lead the charge.

"A quest for one's friends tis always a noble venture," Hogun added. "Aye, we will finish the quest of Lady Brandt and then aid you in yours."

Mineta sighed in relief. Honestly, he felt like crying a little. This must be how Midoriya feels, he thought.

"We have wasted enough time!" Fandral declared. "We have quests to complete! Let us be off!"

"Right!"

"Be careful!" Brandt called out to them as they marched off into the park.

"Don't worry, hot stuff! We'll be just fine!" Mineta cried back.

"Well," Betty said to herself as they vanished into the darkness. "He may be perverted, but he has a good heart."

"This way," Fandral said, leading them on. "Lady Brandt claimed that the disappearances happened mostly in that area over there with the small hills."

As they walked, Mineta noticed a faint glow appearing in the sky, the sun just starting its rise beyond the horizon. He couldn't believe everything that happened to him and it had all been in the span of a single night. He'd escaped this Doctor Octopus, ran into a Moon Knight hero, been attacked by actual vampires, fought a villain who uses stilts, joined up with the strange-talking Warriors Three, danced at a night club, chased down a thief through the rooftops, and now was on a quest to find some missing people.

If he couldn't feel the strain of the whole night throughout his body, he might have thought it was all a dream.

"So, what should we look for?" he found himself asking as they reached the small hills in the park.

"According to Lady Brandt, the disappearances happened here," Fandral said, adopting a more serious pose as he surveyed the terrain. "An apparent homeless man vanished without a trace while pushing his cart here. In addition, several individuals who were, as she said, 'jogging' entered the area and never reappeared. Some young ones from the nearby neighborhood were also 'hanging out' late at night and disappeared as well."

"Um…ok," Mineta said nervously, starting to rethink this whole thing. He was now so grateful the sun was rising but still not fast enough in his opinion as there were still so many dark spots around him. "You, uh, don't think it could be vampires, could it?"

He almost thought his companions would laugh at him given the absurdity of the question, but instead they actually took it seriously. "Nay," Hogun told him. "That would make sense if the disappearances happened only at night but Lady Brandt claimed there were several in the day as well."

"Why haven't the police taken note of this yet?" Mineta couldn't help but wonder. Back home, there would be a local hero patrolling the area and would instantly be notified of something like this.

"According to Lady Brandt, this neighborhood is one considered to be undesirable by others with the police mostly uncaring of what happens," Fandral said, his tone taking on some sadness.

"That's…that's not right," Mineta murmured. He knew he wasn't the best hero and yes, he admitted his whole reasoning behind being a hero wasn't actually that heroic. But still, to just turn your back on a place and the people in it wasn't right.

"Tis a common thing in civilization," Hogun said grimly. "Even in noble Asgard, there are those who see certain places as lost. At times, we have even found ourselves in that mindset towards the lands of Jotunheim or the caverns of the trolls."

Mineta himself had never really experienced anything like that. He did know that people like Shoji and Tokoyami were sometimes ostracized by others because of their mutant-like Quirks and appearances but he had never seen it for himself so it was hard to picture.

"Hold," Hogun suddenly said, pulling Mineta back into reality. "We are being watched," the warrior said, clenching his grip on his mace.

"What?" Mineta gulped. "Where?"

"Do not look," Fandral said, his cheery and flowery personality now gone, replaced with seriousness. "In yonder trees."

Mineta almost looked but managed to restrain himself thanks to Fandral's words. He did peek from the corner of his eye though that didn't help him much since looking that way just made everything into a blur and started giving him a headache.

"What do we do?" he asked, trying to remain calm and remind himself he was surrounded by seasoned warriors. Or, at least, who he hoped were seasoned warriors. Now that he thought about it, he didn't really know anything about them. Probably not a smart thing to do but oh well.

"We wait," Hogun replied. "Keep moving and see what they do next. If we attack without knowing their exact position, they may flee."

Personally, Mineta wanted the watcher to flee and leave them alone. But he understood that it would mean they were still out there and could easily come back. "Do you think this is the kidnapper?" he asked in as soft a voice he could manage.

"Perhaps," Fandral said, matching his voice. "I do not sense any hostile intent. This may be a passerby or even another looking for the lost ones as we are. We shall wait and see."

Mineta gulped again and followed slowly as they started moving again.

"This individual had best pray they do not meet me in battle," Volstagg claimed though Mineta was sure he could hear a warble in the man's voice. "My battle prowess is truly unmatched and will surely send them running for the hills."

"Yes, tis thy battle prowess that is unmatched," Fandral said lightly, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I am sure that-"

"Hold," Hogun suddenly said, interrupting them. "There," he gestured just ahead of them.

"What?" Mineta asked, looking. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Just a hill with the grass rustling and a few trees around. He wondered if there was maybe something in the trees but even in the dim morning light, he could see pretty clearly that nothing could really be hidden there.

"The wind has stopped," Hogun said, raising his mace.

"So?" Mineta said though he could feel his heartbeat getting faster as Fandral readied his sword as well.

"So why is the grass still moving?"

Mineta blinked and then looked again, noticing the unnatural phenomenon for the first time. Hogun was right. There was no wind, not even a small breeze, and yet the grass was rustling about.

No. No, it wasn't rustling. It was shaking.

Mineta took a step back before stopping. I can't back out from this, he told himself. He needed these guys to help him with the octopus doctor. And if he bailed on them, even for a second, they might just realize how much of a coward he really was. He couldn't let that happen.

And then the ground beneath his feet vanished.

Oh I should have just run away, he thought.

"WAAHHH!" Mineta cried as he fell into darkness. At least he wasn't the only one as next to him Volstagg was also shrieking loudly.

He hit the ground and then was instantly sliding, moving down a chute. He could barely make out his surroundings, everything passing by him in a blur. He almost expected to feel pain from his body sliding down the ground so fast but he didn't feel any rocks or stones on his back. In fact, the chute was very smooth. Still, it did nothing to stop his fear as he continued to cry out.

Just as fast, the chute disappeared and he was in the air for a split second before gravity took over and he began to fall. He sucked in a deep breath, preparing to scream again, when he came to a stop, landing on something large and soft.

"Oh…" he murmured. "That…wasn't too bad."

"Indeed," a voice said below him, startling him. "I merely cried out in surprise. I am not afraid of what has happened and will inflict terrible wrath upon all who threaten us."

"Oh do shut up Volstagg," Hogun said through the darkness. It was then Mineta realized he had landed on Volstagg's stomach and quietly slipped off, muttering apologies.

"Where are we?" Fandral asked and Mineta blinked, just making out the blonde's form in the darkness. "A cavern of some kind?"

"Nay," Hogun replied. "The walls are too smooth. And listen. Can thou hear it?"

They all went quiet, listening. It took a few seconds but soon Mineta was able to make it out. A slight humming around them. He bent down and pressed his hand against the ground, instantly feeling the metal skin. "This is a machine," he said.

"Aye," Hogun agreed. "It would seem we have become captured like all the others."

"No matter!" Volstagg declared. "There is no person or machine that can hold back my might! Stand back friends so that I may-GAH!"

Mineta gasped as a shadowy something fell from the ceiling and landed on Volstagg's head, knocking him down. The new figure rolled off the warrior and landed in a crouch next to him while he let out a groan.

"Volstagg!" Fandral cried. "Vile fiend! Thou shalt pay for…oh!"

Mineta would have wondered about Fandral's change in reaction if the lights hadn't turned on at that moment, illuminating the figure. It was a girl, a super cute girl with perfect skin and a perfect body. And, she was Mineta's height!

"Hello there," he said, stepping forward with what he hoped was a charming smile. "I'm-"

"The Warriors Three," the girl remarked, eyeing Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg before turning to Mineta, an eyebrow rising as she regarded him. "And a strange…ball person."

"Indeed," Fandral said, his own charming smile across his face. "And who might you be, fair maiden."

From the change in her posture, she clearly liked his word choice. "I am known as Sister Dagger," she said firmly. "And I-"

"Your names do not matter for you all belong to me now."

They all turned at the nasally voice, a screen flickering to life above them revealing a short man, about Mineta's height as well, with a green cape and thick sunglasses over his eyes.

"Welcome to your new life!" he declared. "As prisoners of the Mole Man!"

---

The room was packed with bodies, all sustaining heavy damage. Most were from sword cuts though a few were bullet holes. And every now and then came a perplexing fatality such as one man with a brick somehow stabbed into his chest.

At the center of it stood a lone figure dressed in red and black who-

"Whoa, are you talking about me?" the figure turned towards the wall. "Oh, hey there! Guess who got a scene added in at the last minute? Little old me! Oh, wait, do you not know who I am? You'd better! But don't worry, the writer will spell it out for you in the next paragraph."

He was known by many names: the Merc with a Mouth, the Chatterbox, the Crimson Comedian, Captain Deadp-

"Oh come on, we don't have time to go through all those random names! Just get to it!"

A spurt of blood randomly shot out from a bad guy's open wound, landing right in the man's eye.

"Oh real mature, you dumb fuck! Ugh, bad guy blood right in my eye. Who knows where it's been too? You don't need this, right?"

He was Deadpool, one of the greatest mercenaries in the world. And he was currently on his hands and knees like a dog as he wiped off his mask with a toupee.

"Hmph. Well, as I was saying, hi there dear readers. I finally got my own scene! I know what you're thinking, I should have come way sooner. And when I made my debut, it should have been much better than a glorified cameo like this? We all know it's just to ramp up excitement for Deadpool & Wolverine next week, which if you don't see proves you're no Marvel fan. (Oh and if anyone puts any spoilers in the comments section, they'll be permanently blocked, not kidding). I mean, look at ol Wolvie. He only got a random cameo scene that probably won't even go anywhere for at least 3 chapters. It was only to show that he's in this story in time for the movie. What a lame shoe-in, huh?"

Another spurt of blood landed in Deadpool's other eye.

"Oh, you fucker! Ugh, where's that toupee? Ah, here it...no, no that's definitely not it. Ew. Now I need to wipe two things off. Oh whatever, I'll wash up later. I suppose while I still have time, I can drum up some excitement seeing as I can see through the fourth wall and all. I think we've all had enough of so many villains showing up so we'll be getting more. You thought I'd say more heroes, didn't you. Well too bad, this stupid writer's imagination can't come up with situations for them to appear so they just add more villains. And best gird your loins cause they're going straight for the rejects and randos from the strangest and wildest issues that everyone else has forgotten about or didn't care enough to read. But there should be at least a few new heroes showing up."

The screen started to turn black.

"Oh shit balls. Come on, can't we just hold off for another minute? Tell you what, I'll secretly record Marvel's SDCC panel in high definition just for you."

The screen became lighter.

"Phew! Alright, let's hurry this up, don't know how long I can bribe this fucker. You know, while this story is making waves, I'm surprised the others this stupud writer's working on are falling short. I mean seriously, I've been reading One Piece: Brave New World and felt my balls tighten. But it's followers are down. Is it because the crossover characters brought in are so random? I mean I get it. Shang-Chi was an odd choice (and yes, he will be appearing here very soon) when it could have been Spider-Man or anyone else. And then Sabine from Star Wars? Come on! At least add Ahsoka or someone else cool. And then, instead of Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman from DC, we get the Green Arrow. And not even the famous one, but the knock-off sister who's barely a decade old! I mean, what the fuck?"

"Well, if that's why the readership is so down, I can tell ya the next two additions are huge! Like fucking Rick Riordan, Last Airbender huge! Yeah, that's right. The two newbies are-"

The anvil came down from the fifth wall, smashing into him and shattering his spine.

"Ow, fuck! Alright, I won't talk about that, whatever! Oh, make sure to check out the new Naruto-Thalia crossover story by ShadowNinja77. Ugh, I can't believe I wasted my last minute of screentime just to advertise for this stupid fucking writer. Self-advertisment is so fucking lame. Get a real life you-"

The second anvil dropped down, smashing his skull in and turning his head into a meat pancake.

---

I'm back! Sorry for the wait, been a little busy. But here we are with a fresh chapter.

Last time, I got to say, I'm both surprised and unsurprised at the responses I got to people thinking I was going to kill off Mineta. Well, anyway, after I wrote that scene, I thought it would be funny if I dragged him through a whole bunch of random Marvel adventures in one go and thus, this chapter was born.

Moon Knight is more of the MCU version than comics but I'll still draw from the comics as well. And the vampires have arrived, so you know who's coming soon too (or soonish).

Stilt-Man's lameness felt perfect for Mineta and hey, Ball-man got his own fight.

Then, I thought it would be hilarious if the Warriors Three came as Mineta's companions. Their story was inspired by an amazing one-shot in Marvel Spotlight #30. If you haven't read it, do so. It's great.

Todd Phelps makes his debut. I went back and forth on that scene, thinking of bringing in another big villain, but honestly decided to just do Phelps cause there were too many villains around at this point and Phelps fit the scene perfectly.

Then we have the Mole Man who I knew had to be the ending.

Plus, to those who know who Sister Dagger is, nice! I could have added someone else but I just felt like having her.

Gotta say, writing Mineta has both been really fun and very uncomfortable so don't expect too much of it.

Everything else is heating up so get ready for some major moves coming next chap.

Ok, this is to KaijuEmperor. I haven't decided on Civil War II, but I do know that that story wrote Captain Marvel unfavorably. But the Kelly Thompson run brought her back for me, so yeah. The one I bring in will be based on that and the MCU. If that isn't for you, sorry.

To the Guest reader, the villain in chapter 6 fighting Class B was either Abomination or Titanium Man.

T-ray - Perhaps we will.

TheRealLePetite - Stay tuned.

Now, for my Marvel reading

Fantastic Four: just finished the Trial of Reed Richards. Goddamn. I already heard how great it was beforehand and basically knew how it would go, but still. That was just amazing.

Spider-Man: almost done with Hobgoblin Saga. Picking up steam now.

Thor: Literally just one more issue til Simonson. Just one.

Captain America: Still not great, but pretty good. I didn't particularly like how J.M. DeMatteis wrote Viper but I love how he brought back the fake Bucky from the 1950s.

Avengers: Into Stern's run now and his Trial of Yellowjacket arc was so fucking awesome. Excited for what comes next.

Hulk: at Mantlo's Professor Hulk era now and it's pretty good. First time I'm excited for what happens next in a Hulk comic.

Daredevil: Miller is gone for now and I'm sad. But Dennis O'Neil's run is pretty good so far.

Iron Man: Yeah, I love this run now. O'Neil is knocking it out of the park here. A must read for any Iron Man fan. Seriously.

X-Men: Got introduced to the Morlocks which actually wasn't that good and then had Wolverine's wedding which was really good (even if it didn't happen :( Also read the Wolverine miniseries which was just epic).

Doctor Strange: read the Montesi Formula that killed all vampires. I was so happy for Hannibal King when he was cured but so sad since I know what happens next. Damn, poor guy. Still, Stern's run is picking up now, huh?

New Mutants: Just started it and it's really good. Never saw the movie so I don't have anything to compare. I know the Demon Bear saga is coming up, so I'm curious, how did the movie measure up to that?

Moon Knight: a few issues from Moench's final issue which is pretty much the end of Vol 1. Too bad, it was fun while it lasted.

And just to be clear, I take a lot of inspiration from the comics I read currently. So all of these will affect this story going forward.

Thoughts on Modern comics:

If Peter and MJ aren't back together by issue 1000, then just what the hell?

I hope when MacKay leaves Doctor Strange, it doesn't just disappear but has someone take over it.

Oh, and fun fact, one of my parents is a twitter buddy (as in they have talked to each other) to the new Iron Man writer!

Well, see you guys at Deadpool and Wolverine and let's get some great MCU news for their SDCC panel. Maybe some Spider-Man 4 news?

And maybe we also get some Beyond the Spider-Verse update.