Chapter 8: Obi-Wan Fights The Bounty Hunter

Obi-Wan and the two Kaminoans were walking down a hall and looking at the clone soldiers. The clones were all white, had either brown or black hair, had unshaven mustaches and beards, and some were either slightly fat or really obese.

Lama Su described the soldiers, "They are totally obedient, taking any order without question. We modified their genetic structure to make them less independent than the original host."

"And who was the original host?" Obi-Wan asked.

"A Blackwater private contractor and bounty hunter named Paul Slough," Su answered.

"And where is this bounty hunter now?"

"Oh, we keep him here. Apart from his pay, which is considerable. Slough demanded only one thing, an unaltered clone for himself. Curious, isn't it?"

"Unaltered?"

"Pure genetic replication, no tampering with the structure to make it more docile and no growth acceleration."

"I should very much like to meet this Paul Slough."

The trio then walked onto a balcony, looking at the clones yelling things like "USA! America First! I love America! Freedom! America! Boobs! Beer! Hot dogs!" and "I love Israel! Fuck liberals! Fuck communists! Fuck leftists! Fuck globalism but I love capitalism! I love corporations unless they're pretending to be progressive!" while marching into ships.

"Magnificent, aren't they?" Su said.

The Kaminoan woman that welcomed Obi-Wan, Taun We, was now walking him out.

"Tell your council that the first battalions are ready. And remind them if they need more troops, it will take more time to grow them," We said to the Jedi.

"I won't forget and thank you," Obi-Wan replied.

"Thank you," We replied.

Obi-Wan then walked outside towards his starfighter, it was raining. The Jedi then told his astromech in his ship, R4-P17, to contact the Jedi temple back in Washington D.C.

Mace Windu, Yoda, and the entire Jedi council were looking at Obi-Wan's hologram.

"I have successfully made contact with the Prime Minister of Kamino. They are using a bounty hunter named Paul Slough to create a clone army. I have a strong feeling that this bounty hunter is the assassin that we are looking for," Obi-Wan reported.

"Do you think these cloners are involved in the plot to assassinate Senator Amidala?" Windu asked.

"Considering that the bounty hunter used a Kaminoan dart to kill his partner, I would be dumb if I said 'No, Master. There appears to be no motive,'" Obi-Wan replied.

"Very good Obi-Wan, never assume anything. Clear, your mind must be, if you are to discover the real villains behind this plot," Yoda said.

"Thank you, Master. They say Master Sifo-Dyas placed an order for a clone army at the request of the Senate almost ten years ago. I was under the impression that he was killed before that. Did the Council ever authorize the creation of a clone army?" Obi-Wan asked every Jedi in the council at that moment.

After some discussion between the Jedi, Jedi Master Plo Koon answered "No, whoever placed that order did not have the authorization of the Jedi council."

"Bring the bounty hunter here. Question him, we will," Yoda commanded Obi-Wan.

"Yes Master, I will report back when I have him," Obi-Wan answered. Obi-Wan's hologram then disappeared.

"Blind, we are. If creation of this clone army, we could not see," Yoda sadly said.

"I think it is time we inform the Senate that our ability to use the Force has diminished," Windu said in agreement.

"Now why would you both think that? Just because Sifo-Dyas ordered a clone army without us knowing doesn't mean we are losing our touch to the Force. It may just mean that Sifo-Dyas betrayed us and turned to the Dark Side," Jedi Master Kit Fisto replied.

Yoda, Windu, and all the other Jedi nodded and replied in agreement.

"Now I was only saying that because it's our duty to defend America," Windu said.

"But we're not the only defenders of America, we could just combine the local militaries of all of America's planets to create a military force, such as when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan got Naboo's human and Gungan armies to work together," Fisto continued.

"Wow Master Fisto, you're correct. It would be really stupid of us to trust this clone army that mysteriously appears out of nowhere to defend America and ourselves," Windu replied.

"Also, we don't need to invade Middle East countries like Iraq or Afghanistan, their militaries and the terrorists hiding in those countries don't pose an existential threat to America," Ki-Adi-Mundi added.

"Huh, it's almost as if George Lucas wants to criticize us, the Jedi, and show us as flawed and dogmatic, which leads us to being almost wiped out. But at the same time Lucas doesn't want to make us look too bad, so he pins all the blame and responsibility to Palpatine, I mean, the Sith controlling everything. Even though us choosing to fight the terrorists leads to America being turned into a fascist, colonialist empire," Windu said.

Taun We led Obi-Wan to the room Paul Slough was staying in. A child answered the room door. "Who's the man in the robe?" the child asked.

"Calm down Brody, where is your father?" We replied.

"He's not here right now," Brody answered.

Obi-Wan sensed that the child was lying, so he then Force pushed the door open and saw a white, slightly muscular man putting on armor with a jetpack attached in the room.

"Brody, get to the ship!" Slough yelled.

Obi-Wan got his lightsaber out but Slough used a rope from his armor's right hand to tie the Jedi's limbs, trapping Obi-Wan.

Slough punched Kenobi's face and ran outside, Obi-Wan cut Slough's ropes and began chasing after the bounty hunter.

Slough and his son were about to enter their starship when Obi-Wan arrived with his lightsaber ignited.

"Brody, get on board!" Slough commanded.

The bounty hunter pulled out two laser pistols and began shooting at Obi-Wan. The Jedi Knight deflected all the shots, so Slough started flying to escape. The private contractor then launched a rocket from his jetpack aimed at Kenobi. Obi-Wan saw the rocket and quickly dodged, sending the Jedi flying.

Slough then tried to shoot Obi-Wan down from a distance but the Jedi threw his lightsaber at Slough's jetpack, making the bounty hunter crash on ground and sending his jetpack flying off and exploding.

On Slough's starship, Brody controlled the ship's laser guns to shoot at Obi-Wan, catching the Jedi off-guard, nearly killing him, and losing his lightsaber. Slough then tackled Obi-Wan, trying to push him off into the Kaminoan ocean but the Jedi was able to pull Paul off and push him down on the ground. Obi-Wan then used the Force to grab his lightsaber, ignited it, and threatened Slough by putting his lightsaber's tip near Slough's face.

Brody was about to shoot at Obi-Wan again but Paul made a stop hand gesture. Obi-Wan asked, "Paul Slough, why did Middle East terrorists hire you to kill Senator Amidala?"

Paul made a mean stare towards Obi-Wan and answered, "Terrorists? I was hired by someone named Tyrannus!"

"Who's Tyrannus?" Obi-Wan sternly asked.

Paul let out a slimy chuckle and said, "You won't find out now, you'll figure it out soon." The bounty hunter then pulled out a hidden laser pistol and fired at Obi-Wan, the Jedi was able to block them but then Brody fired at Obi-Wan again, forcing him to dodge and letting Slough escape with his son. When he got up, Obi-Wan threw a tracker on their starship.