A/N: I tried writing in the script episode kind of format! Anyway, I haven't watched the movies — YET. But for some reason have watched the whole show. I tried my best! Enjoy :)
(INTRO)
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - HALLWAY
JANE: (through her perspective, a camera hanging around her neck, bobbing against her chest as she walks, looking down at her boots, entering Lawndale)
KEVIN: (walks up to her only his legs visible until she looks up, curious) Hey, Jane, why do you have like a camera?
JANE: (sarcastic) Oh, just to get good photos of you and Brittany is all.
KEVIN: (smug) I have to admit, I'm pretty good-looking for a quarterback.
JANE: (holds up the camera, starting to record, muttering) Whatever you tell yourself, sporty boy.
(Jane walks elsewhere)
JANE (VO): My god is Kevin annoying... well, world — I have a great announcement; Jane-Cam is back! Oh there goes Daria!
DARIA: (we see her boots, while until Jane moves the camera up to her face, zooming in to much, then zooming out slightly)
DARIA: (cautious) Jane, what are you doing with that?
JANE: (mocking at first, then back to normal) Why, dear Morgendorffer, I'm making a movie — Well really, the Jane-Cam is back up and running!
DARIA: Is it on? (raises pointer finger a little and points to the camera)
JANE: (playful) You'll find out soon..
DARIA: (widens eyes and begins to cover the camera lense with her hand) Don't face it towards me!
JANE: (mocking) How about the petite Quinn?
DARIA: (mumbles, setting her hand back to her side) Sure...whatever...
JANE: Aww, you don't want Tom to see you like this, is that it?
DARIA: (flushed) Get the camera the hell away from me, damn it!
JANE: (faces camera towards The Fashion Club, who are chatting) Yo hoo!
QUINN: (fearful) Can you see my pores...? (turns head to face her jawline)
JANE: (zooms in to QUINN'S face, teasing) No... but I think I see a tad of a pimple. Oh my god it's oozing with puss!
QUINN: (gasps, wide eyed) WHAT!? (faces Sandi) Sandi, is there puss!?
SANDI: (glares, hand on hip) Well, Quinn, if you must know yes there is.
STACY: (confused) But there's no pi—
JANE: (faces camera towards herself) I think I should get going.. (to QUINN) Tell Daria to let me record her!
QUINN: (embarrassed) Um sure...
JANE: (walks away) That wasn't the most pleasant experience to say the least...
SANDI: (in background, off screen) Stacy! You ruined it!
STACY: (off screen while stammering, on the verge of crying, her voice getting quieter) I-i'm so sorry Sandi and Quinn! Please don't remove me from The Fashion Club!
MS. LI: (off screen, furious) Ms. Lane, what do you think you're doing with a camera!?
JANE: (camera faces to MS. LI) It's for a project.
MS. LI: You LANES' are so rebellious! Did I tell you what Trent did during his time here?
JANE: Why I'd be honored, Ms. Li, to know what my brother was up to here in this hellhole.
MS. LI: (shocked) Hellhole!? It seems you have proved my point! Wait are you recording me? This is a violation of Lawndale High!
(commercials)
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - MR. O'NEILL'S CLASSROOM
JANE: (camera facing MR. O'NEILL) And here we have summer breaks worst enemy, Mr. O'Neill.
MR. O'NEILL: Class, I want you to know that summer should be focused on reading and potential growth for the next year! Well, for you guys — college.
JANE (VO): (whispers) More like a time for sleeping in... and pizza.
MR O'NEILL: (enthusiastic) Jane! I'm glad to see you are recording our lesson! It really shows an example of suburban teenage life during school hours!
JANE: (sarcastic, emphasis on 'really', to MR. O'NEILL) It really does.
MR. O'NEILL: I'm extremely grateful to hear that, Jane! Any other encourage words you would like to say during your film?
JANE: Well...
DARIA: (angry) School sucks. Especially this one.
MR. O'NEILL: Jane, mind cutting that out? (to DARIA, disappointed) Daria, you could have said that in a more polite manner!
DARIA: (deadpan, standing up) With pleasure. (irritated) I have never been to a school so humiliatingly awful with students so shallow that will judge you based on how you walk. The teachers here, even you, don't know how to teach! Ms. Li is the worst of them all, who's only passion is money and greed. Not caring at all for her school, but rather for her own selfish needs. It seems that no one will speak up about it, so here I am, playing the role of the hero who saves the day.
MR O'NEILL: (offended, to DARIA) Daria! I am very disappointed. This is very disrespectful to the students who attend, your teachers including myself, and Ms. Li!
DARIA: I know, hence why I said it, genius. But it is also the unfortunate truth.
JANE: Go Daria!
MR. O'NEILL: (to JANE) Don't encourage her! Do the right thing.
ALL STUDENTS IN CLASS BESIDES DARIA: (clapping)
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - LIBRARY
JANE: (faces camera to a concentrated JODIE who is working on a computer) Jodie, say something inspiring for the little gremlins who are going to watch this.
JODIE: (confident, facing JANE) Well, to those out there — try your best, work hard, don't laze around, and stand up for what's right. Which is what I do.
JANE: Thanks.
JODIE: Of course. (faces computer again, typing rapidly)
JANE (VO): (moving the camera around the library) That's the habitat of the academic phenomenon, Jodie Landon, who always has something inspiring to say.
DARIA: (off screen, sits down next to JANE opening a book) You're at it, again?
JANE: (playful) Say something profound for posterity!
DARIA: Wasn't my speech enough? (moves her chair farther from the camera's view) Besides the only profound thing is how much I'm going to miss this place... not. (rolls her eyes, then giving a Mona Lisa smile, as Jane faces the camera to DARIA's face again)
JANE: (sarcastic) So considerate of you.
DARIA: Um..you can stop recording me now. (embarrassed, covers face with her hands, before getting up and walking away)
JANE: Oh come on!
(commercials)
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - GIRL LOCKER ROOMS
JANE: (camera facing her, to AUDIENCE) You must be happy to see my face, aren't you? (grins widely)
DARIA: (off screen, sighs deeply while slipping on her shirt for gym; her outfit from 'See Jane Run') (deadpan) I can't even go to the bathroom in peace without you trying to film. I bet you record yourself peeing and go, 'Here are the joys of peeing in the Lawndale High girl's restroom! Hip hip hooray!'.
JANE: (serious, eyes avert to Daria who still is off screen) Daria, why does me recording bother you so much?
DARIA: (annoyed) Because I don't like my personal space being invaded.
JANE: (playful) Note taken. I'll do it when you least expect it, hm?
DARIA: (camera zooms in on her frowning) How about not at all, have you ever thought of that?
JANE (VO): Why? (mocking) By doing this I show your wild side!
DARIA: (crosses arms, her face expressionless) I don't have a wild side. I don't even have a relaxed side.
JANE (VO): (mimicks Butthead's laugh, mocking) Asswipe.
DARIA: (visibly confused, then understanding, mocking Beavis' laugh) Dillweed.
JANE AND DARIA: (smile at each other in silence)
BRITTANY: (being shown walking next to DARIA then staring at the camera, curious, grinning) Ooh, Jane, you didn't tell me you had a camera!
DARIA: (sarcastic, to BRITTANY) Oh, Brittany, you didn't tell me you got a breast implant.
BRITTANY: (offended and confused, turns her head to DARIA) But I didn't, Daria! Do they just look really big? (tilts head, twirling her hair, her smile faded)
JANE (VO): (sarcastic) Why yes Brittany, that's what she meant to say, you sweet girl.
BRITTANY: (slides hands down her sides, emphasis on 'do') They do look bigger! Oh no! (places hands on her face, panicked)
DARIA: (sarcastic) Oh the misery.
MS. MORRIS: (off screen, walking towards the locker room) You girls better hurry up, I already have us doing 20 push-ups! Now you 3 will have 35.
BRITTANY: (worried, runs off) I'm coming, Ms!
JANE (VO): (mocking, yelling) Atta girl, Brittany, you show her!
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - CAFETERIA
JANE (VO): (camera zooming towards her meal that consists of; a burger, french fries, and a chocolate milk carton) Mmm, yummy.
DARIA: (sarcastic) My mouth is watering. (takes a bite of her burger)
(JANE's camera zooms into DARIA's meal which is; a burger, off brand bottle of Ginger Ale, and a brownie)
JANE (VO): Can I have that brownie?
DARIA: (shrugs, placing her burger down, serious) Sure. You mind as well eat my burger too. (pushes her tray towards Jane, frowning)
JANE (VO): No, no! You can have it. Maybe Upchuck has something.
DARIA: (sarcastic) In exchange for your phone number and a one night stand.
UPCHUCK: (upon hearing his name, walks over, a sleazy grin) My, my, if it isn't the lovely Daria Morgendorffer and...Jane. What can I do for you both?
JANE (VO): (zooms camera in at UPCHUCK) Mind getting me — er, I mean Daria a second brownie?
UPCHUCK: (smiles) Sure I'd be delighted!
DARIA: (to UPCHUCK as he begins to walk away) Maybe a kick in the nads' too!
(commercials)
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - CAFETERIA
(JANE set's the camera on the table, between the middle of them, it tilting slightly, only the girls' necks and arms visible)
JANE: So, what do you plan on doing this summer?
DARIA: (sarcastic) Getting Quinn narked around by me until she reaches her limit and flees off. (still sarcastic, emphasis on 'try') I suppose I can try to make some time for Tom.
JANE: (mocking) And what about me, Morgendorffer?
DARIA: (deadpan) I'll let you come over after school and we can have a girly slumber party while watching the marathon of Sick, Sad World.
JANE: (smiles) Or... I come over after school, we watch the marathon of Sick, Sad World and get high on soda. (mocking)
DARIA: (sarcastic) Which is the same thing.
UPCHUCK: (returns, with a brownie that is in a napkin) Here you are, Daria! (emphasis on 'Daria')
DARIA: How awfully sweet of you.
UPCHUCK: (flirty) Say, do you want to call later? Here's my number... (pulls out a notepad, and a pencil, writing down his number in a fancy font with the words: 'Love, Charles xoxo' and a sloppy heart to the side, passing it to DARIA) Here you go.
DARIA: (frowning, annoyed) I'll have Quinn call. Give her a rrr... (emphasis on 'r', dragging the letter r)
UPCHUCK: (smirking) Grrrrr... feisty! (leaves)
JANE: (grabs the note) Now what's this? Daria Morgendorffer getting asked out?
(JANE paused the camera)
DARIA: (still frowning) It's not like I was going to call him anyway.
INT. LAWNDALE HIGH - HALLWAY
(distinct conversation being heard from various students)
MS. LI: (gathers all students, holding multiple year books, while JANE has her camera hanging on her chest) Alright, Laawndale High! Here I have are your yearbooks! (mutters) to those who paid...
QUINN: (grabs hers)
JEFFY, JOEY, JAMIE: (run up ro to her)
JEFFY: Quinn, I'll sign your yearbook!
JOEY: I'll sign it better!
JAMIE: I will give you my number!
QUINN: (hands them her yearbook) Mm, okay! (relaxed)
JANE: (resumes recording, walking over to Quinn, whos hands are by her sides, smiling)
QUINN: (frowns, putting her hands on her hips) No I didn't tell Daria to talk to you or whatever. Why would I?
JANE (VO): No, it's not that. Hm, care to tell me what it's like being the most popular girl in Lawndale High?
QUINN: (breaks into a grin, her hands lowering) I'm glad you asked! Well, as the most popular student in Lawndale it's like really difficult. I'm always getting asked out on dates, Sandi's like so mean to me — despite the fact that she's my best friend, I think she's secretly jealous. People adore me! Even outside of school. Though you and Daria don't get to experience that! That's pretty much it... even though sometimes I question why I'm even into fashion!
JANE (VO): (amused) Who knew you had such depth. This information shall be very crucial. Imagine, a girl like you, who is a beloved model —
QUINN: (eyebrows pinched together) MODEL!?
JANE (VO): (annoyed) I said it's an idea for my artwork! (walks away)
QUINN: (smirks) Mood.
INT. LAWNDALE - DARIA'S HOUSE
JANE: (proud) And that is the last day of Lawndale High in a nutshell!
(turns camera off)
DARIA: (deadpan) You could have said that a hour ago.
JANE: (smirks) Mhm.
HELEN: (walks in) Oh hi Jane! (to DARIA) How was the last day of school, honey?
QUINN: (stomps in the house abruptly, slamming the door) IT WAS TERRIBLE! (runs up the stairs, wailing) ONLY 4 GUYS ASKED GAVE ME THEIR NUMBER ON THE YEARBOOK THINGIES!
DARIA: (nonchalant) It was average.
HELEN: (supportive) That's amazing to hear!
JANE: Mrs. Morgendorffer, want to see this? (shows the camera, as the footage begins playing)
HELEN: Oh please Jane, after knowing you for 4 years, you can call me Helen.
JAKE: (walks in, holding the quarter of milk) What is it? Oh hey, Jane-o! Where's Trent? (smiles, waving, then looking at the footage)
(a knock on the door is heard)
HELEN: Daria can you —
DARIA: (walks to the door, opening it)
(the screen switches to view Tom, holding a pen and a flower, with a relaxed smile)
TOM: Hey Daria, can I sign that yearbook of yours?
DARIA: Yeah. (walks over to her backpack and grabs her yearbook off screen) Here. (she returns)
TOM: (hands the flower to DARIA, taking the yearbook and flipping through the pages for a blank page)
JANE: (looks up) Oh hey Tom! You have got to check this out!
TOM: (walks over) What is it?
DARIA: (holding the flower staring at the viewers, smiling)
(screen fades)
('Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)' by Green Day plays in the background)
(Alter egos show up)
The end.