Heres some more BuckyNat/Winterwidow content

Enjoy this angsty fluffy goodness

Bucky gazed reflectively out of the window, his blue eyes fixated on the distance as if he was living a dream. His brain still felt foggy, thinking of all he'd endured. Hiding out in Romania, living in secret and hiding from Shield, being discovered by Steve. Then being captured by Everett Ross and held captive. Then Zemo triggering him into becoming the winter soldier again, then being sent to Wakanda to have the trigger removed. He hadn't had peace of mind and free will since the forties, back when he was a sergeant and he was scripted into the war. He had never wanted to fight but he was ordered to. Steve had never once given up on him, he'd never quit on him and even when Bucky lost his mind and was being used as a weapon, he stood by him. He knew the true heart of Bucky, he knew the man he was and he knew it wasn't the killer he was made into. Thanks to his best friend's perseverance, he got his mind back, he got his life back. He was able to regain his reputation and all the statements and accusations against him were dropped, once it was revealed what Hydra had done to him. So many changes had occurred post the snap, so many moments, all blurring past him, his dating years, his years as a solider, a member of the howling commandos. Possibly becoming a husband, his golden years, actually being able to see the future shaped around him. Readjusting the modern era, all the changes, feeling out of time and having no Steve to support him. Going to mandated therapy and feeling abandoned. He was suffering from insomnia, nightmares, PTSD, a broken heart and more. Steve had been his rock for the longest time until Natasha, living without his best friend was the worst feeling in the world. He was considering changing his career, actually improving his life, putting his past behind him.

Now that Steve was gone, now that he'd abandoned them all to go back to Peggy in the forties, Shield had offered him employment as an agent, having good recommendation from Wakanda of his improvement. Sword their sister agency had even offered him work, given they tended to handle matters of the more supernatural. Natasha had given a good recommendation to Clint, he too had seen the good in her when she used to be a widow. He would give Bucky that second chance too. Bucky needed all the allies and friends he could get, he needed that support system. Clint saw the good in people, he believed in rehabilitation, and his instinct was rarely ever wrong.

All of them knew of Hydra's involvement and brainwashing of him, that Bucky was in fact innocent of any crimes, merely used as a pawn. Bucky had never been a killer, his heart had always been kind, Hydra had to wipe him and brainwash him to form him into a robotic slave. Now that he had his mind back, he was tormented with the memories of his past, with the knowledge and reminder of his crimes as the winter soldier. He didn't want to be the winter soldier anymore, though that title would haunt him for the rest of his damn life, they were one in the same.

Everyone knew his name, they knew his past, they feared him, hated him, respected him. They all feared he could easily become a killer again, he would never know peace. The lives he'd taken, the blood he'd spilled, all the wicked things he'd done. He didn't want to be a killer, he'd been one of the Howling commando's for god sake. All the people he'd loved were dead, all the people he'd trusted were dead, all he could do was live right by their memory. Steve wasn't here to help, he wasn't here to offer advice or moral support. All he could do was learn to live on his own, learn to be kind to himself and slowly take one step at a time. He just wanted a normal, peaceful life, he wanted to close the door to his past and bury the key. Enjoying the simple pleasures that once made him happy, things that were familiar. He wanted to drink coffee, cuddle Alpine and read a damn book. Occasionally he visited the graves of his parents and his younger sister Rebecca, whom he never got to watch grow up.

But he was aware of the power he held, the last pure strain of the original serum Hydra was able to get their hands on. He wouldn't age, his physiology was permanently altered, his strength, stamina and more were permanently enhanced. His sharpened skills as an assassin, vibranium arm, master martial arts and knife mastery, meant he was an efficient fighter. He could make funds from his skills and physiology, he wouldn't age the same way a human would. Chronologically he was a centenarian, but physically he was still the age of 26. Being a super soldier of partially the same serum as Steve, only injected via radiation and multiple injections, he was the only one left aside from Walker, given all the flag smashers were killed. He hated that while he was forced to take the serum, an idiot patriot like Walker took it willingly and destroyed the legacy that Steve worked so hard to build. Bucky wanted to do right by Steve's legacy, he wanted to be someone his best friend would be proud of. He was a trained and skilled fighter, even Zemo knew it, he'd shown that in Madripoor. Bucky was desperately trying to repress his powers to prevent him from hurting another person, he abhorred violence, due to the dehumanising things he was forced to do. The muscle memory was still there, and it always would be, at the back of his mind.

Bucky and Natasha had moved back to Brooklyn together, in a quieter part of New York, he couldn't imagine living anywhere else. It was where he was born, where he grew up, where he and Steve met, it was familiar, it was safe. Natasha didn't argue, she'd lived endless lives and identities, she'd been many faces and many people. She'd always wanted a home, a family and a normal life, she couldn't give him children, but Bucky had never minded that. Bucky was far too traumatised to have children of his own, god knows if Hydra had also sterilised him and stolen his sperm when they made him a super soldier. She knew it would always be home to him and she would follow him no matter what.

They had adopted a white cat together, a female whom Bucky had become attached to very quickly, naming her Alpine. She was the closest thing to a child Bucky could have, something about the small queen had warmed his wounded heart, they chose one another. From the moment he saw her it was love, they gazed at one another and were immediately attached. When offered to say hello to her and enter the cage, the small white bundle of fur had been purring loudly and happily placed herself on his lap. Nat knew no other cat would make him as happy, they had found one another and she was his soul cat. They quickly filled out all the documents, adoption papers and more, happily taking the small creature home. They'd moved her in with them to their flat in Brooklyn, though she needed time to adjust she soon made herself at home. They'd gotten all the kitty items she would need, litter tray, scratching post, toys etc. Making sure she would be able to feel at home, that she would be able to have her own space. Natasha even bought him a plum tree for their home. He appreciated the time and care Nat put into this, building their life together, two broken adults. He was laid reflectively on the couch, his body slumped lazily, Alpine laid comfortably on his chest, purring happily. She was the one thing that kept him grounded, that made the nightmares easier.

Natasha watched them both fondly, a loving smile on her face as she padded around the kitchen. She herself was a strong lover of animals, she was an aunt to Clint's children, and a second mother to her adopted sister Yelena. Seeing Bucky so comfortable, lazy and at peace with himself, it warmed her heart. "You figured anything out yet? You must have some career goals?" she asked. Bucky's ex therapist had been impressed by his improvements, finding new careers, having a stable relationship, adopting a cat and moving into a new home. She was surprised he had a girlfriend, stunned at their shared past, but she could see that they loved one another. Natasha knew Alpine was his therapy cat, something about the animal that just regained his humanity. She loved him, she was attached to him, she followed him like his little shadow. She'd helped him improve immensely, much to the surprise of his therapist. But he couldn't spend the rest of his life like this, without meaning, he needed something to do with his life, something to pass the time. Steve was gone, Sam was the new Captain America, he would always have friends and community, he was free to make his own choices.

Bucky hummed wearily, thinking of all that had happened in the past year, how fast it all happened. How the government got their hands on Steve's shield, gave it to a privileged white guy, a loyal solider and made a mockery of Steve's legacy. But after much trial and tribulation they regained the shield, managing to erase the damage that had been done. Sam now had the shield, he'd accepted the role that Steve granted him as his successor, the shield was in the right hands, the world was in good hands. But he had his own path to forge, his own life to rebuild, he also wasn't the winter soldier anymore.

Soon he heard soft footsteps approaching, light and delicate, as expected of an assassin, Natasha approached, carrying two mugs of steaming tea in her hands. Her red hair bound into a messy bun, her green eyes sparkling fondly, adorning a lazy Tee and jeans. It was as if she had read his mind, she always just knew what he needed, what would make it better. Having her beside him, after all they had been through, reunited at last, it felt like home. Her presence calmed him, it always had, she knew him better than anyone, she knew of his darkness and she still loved him. Both of them had a small amount of honey, a natural sweetness that would soothe them, his had a small leaf of mint, hers had a slice of lemon. She perched herself at the end of the couch and offered the cup to him, encouraging him. She knew he needed space, he hated feeling crowded and trapped, she knew that feeling all too well. So she remained present but gave him space.

Bucky sat up slowly, placing Alpine on his shoulder where she could comfortably perch herself, the smell of honey hitting him first. He took the cup from Nat contentedly, smiling warmly at her. He swore Nat had to have a sixth sense of some kind, aside from her keen tactical skills honed as a spy. She always knew, she just had this way of supporting others. She had been watching him all day, making sure he was safe, from himself and others. Her green eyes became conflicted, distant and sad, he knew she was remembering, opening old wounds, she understood his pain better than anyone. She rarely if ever talked about her past to anyone, the messed up reality of how she was forced to become a widow. Stolen by Dreykov, her mother killed when she attempted to save her daughter. Made into a stitched up family and forced to become an assassin, wearing many masks and identities, playing both the enemy, antihero and villain.

"Y'know, the Moniker of Black widow used to be seen as a monster by the world, untrustworthy, soviets, killers. But I got the red off my ledger, Barton saw something else in me, someone better. I became Nick's right hand woman, which isn't an easy position to earn. Many people still saw me as an enemy of the state and still do. You were the winter soldier, you were Hydra's right hand. But you aren't him anymore, Hydra are gone. Retake the name, rebrand yourself like I did. Become Shield or even Swords right hand, own it" she encouraged. She and millions of other girls were forced to become widows, using both mental conditioning and chemical warfare to make them the perfect killer. Having their free will, identity and anatomy robbed from them, stripped of their humanity. While the world would have seen her as a killer, Barton knew there was something else. He could see the broken. girl inside, the part of her that yearned for freedom. So he made a call, he asked Fury to trust her, helped him kill Dreykov and thus earned her place in Shield. Though she had lived in the states as a naturalised citizen for years, losing her previous Russian accent and dialect, slowly accepting and embracing her freedom. Many still believed her to be untrustworthy, a double agent, a killer, a monster. Bucky had been her mentor, the one who trained her and millions of other Widows, but they developed an intimate bond. He watched her while she was chained to her bed, they became fond of one another. Natasha's conditioning slowly broke and she began to regain her humanity, developing intense affection for the soldier which blossomed into love. Bucky's memories had begun to resurface, his life before Hydra had kidnapped him, before they infused him with the serum. The sweetheart from Brooklyn who loved science, fantasy novels and just wanted to go dancing.

Bucky shifted, gazing into his mug reflectively, rewriting his life, after the world had changed around him while he was brainwashed. Adapting to a modern world without Steve, learning to be kind to himself. His therapist had been awful, which even Sam and Natasha could attest to, only worsening his trauma and dehumanising him. Natasha was the only other familiar face he knew but Sam these days, he barely knew any of the other avengers. As the winter soldier, he had trained Natasha and many of the widows of her generation firsthand. Natasha had filled Clint in on her shared past with Bucky, to which Clint had become as supportive of him as he had Nat, the two forming a friendship. He'd watched so many little girls get turned into killers, so many childhoods ruined, never having the choice of freedom. So many futures stolen, so many wishes and dreams were crushed, he felt shame, guilty, anger and disgust at his actions. He was responsible for her trauma, he was responsible for her training. The same ruthless and dehumanising methods Hydra used on him, they used on the widows too. Honing her skills to perfection, so she would have primed instincts. Natasha had become the most famous widow in the world, respected, feared and admired. She was the best of her generation, she had withstood countless events, even enduring a shot through her abdomen by him. She had multiple scars and wounds. Thanks to a strain of the same serum he had, she was far more durable than the average human, but not the ideal soldier like himself or Steve. She had proven she wasn't the monster the red rooms had tried to turn her into, maybe he could do the same.

Zemo still saw the monster in him, but acknowledged and respected that Bucky was forced to become a super soldier against his will. The tricks he pulled on him in Madripoor, reminding him of Steve's departure, of all his crimes under Hydra. Of how he still had a darkness in him, of how he needed to embrace the darkness within him. He loved to mock him about his past, knowing it would prompt a reaction out of Zemo, the two hated each other. Bucky hated how Zemo's perception of him was often accurate, how he had been a killer, how that instinct would still be there. The memory of who he was and what he'd done, manipulating and blackmailing him.

Natasha reached across to pet Alpine fondly, who purred loudly at the attention. Bucky needed to be kind to himself, a gesture he was still working on, learning that he wasn't the bad guy. The nightmares would still remain, they would just get easier, the demons would become easier to overcome. He was drowning in his mental health, he was consumed by his memories, but he needed to learn to climb his way out. "You're a Brooklyn born sweetheart, you worked two jobs to support your family and best friend. You're still a geeky science nerd and a bookworm at heart. Who still loves slow dancing to old records, and apparently you're a cat person too" she smiled. He was home, though his family and Steve was long gone, he was back in the city he was born in. He could earn a good income with Shield or Sword, he would have a comfortable life. She would do her best to make him happy, take him dancing, help him find new hobbies too.

Bucky's lip trembled, his blue eyes becoming glassy with unshed tears, he wanted to bury himself in her lap and cry his eyes out. What did he ever do to deserve a good woman like her? If only he'd met her back when he was still a normal guy, back before Hydra got him. She was intent on helping him create new memories, ones that would outweigh the painful ones. So many nights he'd put on records from the 40s and she had never complained, dancing with him in their small shared flat. She tried to help him find new taste, even helping him find a better style of clothes, sometimes she had even suggested modern music of a similar vibe. He had to admit, compared to Sam's music suggestions, he actually preferred Nat's. She had found playlists from the 60s, closer to the decade he was born into, so many artists he had missed. Bucky was immediately hooked to which Natasha had informed Sam. Quiet evenings, her pressed to his chest, listening to his heartbeat while Alpine watched from nearby. Low lighting, intertwined limbs, she'd fallen asleep on his chest as he'd read the Hobbit to her, she'd even bought him the lord of the rings. She researched every item she could find, knowing how much it meant to him, buying the extended boxset for him. Bucky had been so overjoyed he acted like a small child at Christmas, doing binge watches of the films until Natasha had dragged him to bed. Truly showing her love for him, knowing that gestures said more than words ever could. God, how did she always know exactly what to say? Carrying a wisdom beyond her years, able to nurture and support the people closest to her. Never letting them become swallowed up by grief, self hatred, inner torment and more, making sure they never felt alone. How to lick his wounds and ease the torment in his soul? Helping him remind himself that he was a good person. "Thanks doll" he smiled, he hadn't used that pet name in years, but it seemed so natural with Natasha.

Natasha hummed, leaning across to kiss him softly, the loose strands of her red hair tickled his cheek. He knew how much she loved his pet names and often found his slang amusing. The scent of her filling him, she smelled like vanilla and oranges, sweet and homely. Like he was walking through a field of flowers with abundant fruit trees. She knew Bucky needed a routine, he needed something to destress and distract himself. "We can spar together, train together, whatever you want, whatever you need. I'll always have your back, till the end..." she promised trailing off. He'd need to improve his fighting skills, he'd need to retrain his muscle memory, he'd need to tap into the solider in him. They knew the others limits and they could be more aggressive than they could with someone else, but they would never knowingly hurt the other. Whatever made Bucky happiest she would do. She swallowed thickly, he'd lost his childhood friend, his childhood crush, his ride or die. Steve had been his rock for years, and he abandoned him for Peggy Carter. She knew Steve left a whole in Bucky's heart, mourning for his friend "I... I can't, I can never replace Steve, what he was to you to us, but I'll always be on your side" she soothed.

Bucky softened, raising his cup to sip his tea, the warm smell of honey and mint filling his senses, just what he needed. He would always be bitter at Steve for the choices he made, even after Peggy had moved on and even died. That Steve had promised to stay beside him until the end of the line, just as he had started his healing process, Steve had abandoned him. But he was damn lucky to have found friends in Nat, Clint and Sam, people who would always watch out for him. "How did I get so lucky?" he hummed

"Ey yo, I don't have to worry about seeing you guys butt naked do I?" Sam teased in amusement. He knew Natasha and Bucky had history, even before the truth about Hydra, the winter soldier programme and the red rooms came out. Natasha had always been familiar with Bucky, she knew about him. But the depth of their history, their connection, nobody could have predicted. Sam was just happy that Bucky found someone so devoted to him.

Bucky rolled his eyes, an expression of discomfort formed on his face, he had become used to Sam's personality, but at times he still got awkward about it. He was still learning a lot about the modern era, the modern culture. This level of male bonding, teasing about relationships and intimacy in a brotherly way, he'd grown up with sisters. He'd always been taught to respect women, never patronise. He'd always been a private person when it came to intimacy with Natasha, with anyone, he was raised that way. But more so he was unlearning a lot of culture he was raised with, how much civil rights had changed. Accepting his privilege but also lack there of in some areas, he was a veteran, a white guy but also an amputee. But he appreciated all the education Natasha and Sam had given.

"Sam, you know James doesn't like that language" she teased, mirroring what she would often say to Steve. She was used to Sam's jokes and mannerisms, she had been working alongside him a lot longer. He was a valuable asset to Shield and a loyal friend both she and Steve could count on.

"So, what can I do for you? Need more help settling into your little love nest?" Sam asked. He was so happy for them both, making such a big gesture. He knew Bucky was from Brooklyn and it would always be home to him. But if he ever wanted to visit his family again, he was always welcome. He had a relationship, he was working on employment, forming new friendships and balance. He was trying, there was a lot to overcome. He was working through the same process that Steve had, just differently. He didn't have the same support that Steve did, he didn't have that familiarity.

Bucky shifted, this was an awkward and difficult conversation, he knew that he was seen as an asset and a dangerous individual by many countries and governments. Even Russia was demanding he be used for their country, given his work with Hydra and more. Everyone wanted a peace of him, everyone wanted to use him as a tool, but nobody saw him as a person, as a human. How consumed he could become, how exhausted, overwhelmed and more. He was terrified, he was curious but he was also wary. There would always be people he couldn't trust. Natasha was safe, Brooklyn was safe, Sam was safe, but he was painfully aware of how easily those things could be taken away.

Natasha sensed his reservation and spoke up "We've been talking about future careers, for Bucky, with Shield, Sword or even going private" Natasha explained. This was a difficult but necessary conversation they needed to have, that he needed to prepare for a life without Steve. That he would need to make choices on his own. She didn't want his future to be ruined before it had even begun, she wouldn't let him be tormented all over again. She wouldn't let someone worse than Hydra get ahold of him, he would never be able to live with himself if that happened. She wanted him to make the right decision of his own free will.

Sam's tone became serious, if the government so much as sniffed that Bucky was working for the enemy again, they would hang him. All opportunities, trust and relations would be destroyed instantly, he'd be seen as a public and international enemy. They needed to be very careful with their decisions. "I know he'd been scouted by Shield and Sword, not many supersoldier's running around, especially ones with Vibranium". Working alongside Bucky within shield would be ideal, working for the same side, working to protect people utilising their skills. Sword was the more supernatural sister of Shield, working on cases like Westview, where Wanda went mad with grief and created a whole dimension with a fabricated Vision.

Natasha knew regardless of what he chose, Bucky would be in good hands, she would never lead him astray. Mercenaries were a valuable asset these days, weapons for hire for many forms of pay. Many of her fellow widows had utilised their skills the same way post the destruction of the red rooms. He was free to form his own path, free to take whatever life he chose, "He's a valuable asset, be it a weapon or a solider, a lot of people would pay a lump sum to get their hands on him" Natasha pressed. They had to be prepared for anything, anyone could be an ally or an enemy, they needed to be careful. Natasha had fought Bucky before, during her years as training, as both an enemy and an ally. She knew what he was capable of and his potential. He was a good man, he had a good heart and that had never changed.

"And you want me to make sure he's working with the right people, that he's not being taken advantage of" Sam agreed. Plenty of people in Madripoor had their eyes on Bucky, plenty of enemies wanted to use his capacity as their weapon. They didn't see him as a person, just a pawn, a gun for hire. He knew Bucky had been hurt by Hydra, his brain damaged and his memories wiped, he couldn't imagine having to relearn your whole life. Haunted by the ghosts of your own life. Bucky had earned a peaceful existence, he just wanted to live in peace, to live as a free man and forget his past crimes.

"I have my connections, but you have an inside scoop on Shield for your new position, we need you Sam" Natasha pressed

Sam nodded, Walker had been scouted by Valentina for an undisclosed purpose as a civil servant under US agent. They still had their reservations of Walker, they still didn't fully trust him or forgive him for his past actions. But he understood their reasoning why and didn't press matters. She had her eye on Yelena, Natasha's sister and even Bucky, she was collecting very special people. But Natasha had made it clear, Bucky wasn't for sale, she couldn't convince Yelena, but she knew she was her own person. She would protect what was left of her family. "Valentina has been sniffing around a few people, she's got eyes on your sister and she's got her claws into Walker. She's putting together a team but I don't like the looks of it".

Bucky frowned, it almost sounded like a fuck up of the avengers, a poor attempt to make a second team of them, or a bad batch attempt. Steve had been a good man, coming from poverty, blue collar family, riddled with health conditions and constantly bullied. But his heart was always pure and kind, which is why Erskine chose him. Walker could idolise Steve for Captain America, but he would never understand the boy Steve was before the serum. His gut told him this was dangerous, he knew it meant trouble and he had no interest.

Natasha's gaze hardened, she had made it clear she wanted nothing to do with it, she would always be loyal to shield and fury, even with him gone. She had enough demons in her past, enough regrets and enough skeletons in her closet, a life she wanted to put behind her. Bucky had followed suit. But Yelena, after the snap, after nearly losing her sister, she was never the same, adamant on paving her own path and independence. She had been the youngest of her generation, she never had the liberty of freeing herself from the red rooms. When she finally got her freedom she had to make the best of things. Freeing her fellow widows and finding her own life. She would never stop caring about Yelena, she would never stop protecting her baby sister, no matter how big she got. "Anything about Monica Rambeau? Carol Danvers?" Natasha pressed.

"After the shit that went down with the flagsmashers, Shield has been more secretive than usual. You have no idea how much paperwork we have" Sam groaned. Carol was off protecting the galaxy, other planets. The guardians they fought alongside had dismantled, finding their own positions, Quill had returned to earth to live with his grandpa. So much chaos had happened inbetween, the world would never be the same again.

Bucky snorted, though it had been risky, being so secretive and going into enemy territory. They had managed to destroy the residual serum, they had managed to stop the flag smashers, they had stopped future generations from being created. The next generation of heroes would be nothing like their predecessors "Given the scolding I got from Ayo and how the security on Zemo doubled, I can guess".

"You still sound proud of that" Sam scoffed but he was biting back a laugh, he knew that Wakanda had struggled upon the death of their king and queen mother. Now Shuri had taken on the mantle of queen and black panther, a burden she never asked for but had to accept begrudgingly. They had made his new suit, as the successor of Steve rogers and equipped it with efficient protection and weapons.

Natasha smiled, glad to see the return of positivity in the room, seeing Bucky smile and Sam trying to ease his concerns. They had no idea of what the future held, but they had each other and Steve would be proud of them "How much longer am I going to be babysitting you both" Nat laughed.