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The Return: Winter 2015

Following BMW continuity, Shawn, Cory, Topanga lost two years when they were aged up in season 2. However, in GMW based on what Topanga and Shawn have said, they were given those two years back. So following canon, Shawn and company were 15 in 1995 and 33 in 2015.

"Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it." ― Lemony Snicket

Life so seldom turns out the way you want it to, no matter how hard or how often you wish it would. And when things continually turn out the opposite of the way you want them to, it becomes extremely hard not to see yourself as the common denominator in those events and, eventually, you believe you are the reason things didn't work out.

Shawn Hunter stood in a small shop in Midtown Manhattan staring at the building across the street. Usually when he was back in the City, he refrained from doing anything or visiting anything that would bring back certain memories. Thanks to Cory, however, he was back in his childhood whether he wanted to be or not. His extraordinarily wonderful and frustrating best friend was holding his photography equipment hostage until he met face to face with his former mentor. He suspected Topanga was accomplice to the theft. He turned his gaze away from the people on the street scurrying to get out of the rain and studied the sign above the door of the building:

The Library Hotel

Memories came flooding back:

Their sophomore class unleashed on the Big Apple.

Him.

Cory.

Topanga.

Jon.

Audrey.

The New York trip was a blur for Shawn now. A pleasant blur, one he sometimes desperately wished he could recall in detail. So much went on in just a few short days. For a few of those short hours it was just him, Jon, and Audrey. That was what he wished he could remember the details of: going to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, dinner afterwards, just the three of them. Happy. Together. Shawn could no longer remember where they ate, though he tried to find it many times later on. Maybe, like Audrey, it was no longer there. He could just faintly recall a spectacular showdown between Jon and Katherine that nearly occurred in the lobby of the Library when they returned from their night out. That did happen, didn't it? Shawn shook his head. He wasn't sure if that actually happened or if just one of the those daydreams, he convinced himself had happened. It may have also been a daydream that Audrey had taken them to meet her father just before the class was to head back to Philadelphia. Just like the Empire State Building, Times Square, and the Statue of Liberty it was all just a ghost of a memory. Cory and Topanga both swore for years he tried to get Jon and Audrey to buy him a life-sized Lego Darth Vader for a mere $5,000 as a souvenir from F.A.O. Schwartz. Shawn couldn't remember that happening or even going to the toy store. Often when the group would talk about the trip Shawn felt as though he hadn't even gone, that was how little he could recall.

Perhaps that was due to what happened after they returned home. The school year seemed to race to its conclusion and just as rapidly everything seemed to go very wrong. Although Audrey's student teaching tenure ended before the school year did, she made arrangements with her school and Mr. Feeny to see the year conclude. But it never happened.

Shawn inhaled deeply, watching the raindrops splash against the windowpane. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to think back to when they lost Audrey.

Although they had been inseparable once back in Philadelphia, Jon and Audrey started to have problems, stemming from the fact Jon was convinced she was hiding something serious from him. He tried to get his friend to leave it alone so their good life wouldn't be disrupted, but the English teacher refused to listen. Then a month before her internship concluded, Jon sat him down to tell him that Audrey had finally told him the reason for her departure from Julliard: bulimia nervosa. She left Julliard to seek treatment because her health had declined to the point she could no longer dance. She lost her spot at the school as a result. When she received news of a downturn in her father's health, along with the stress of starting student teaching far from home, she began to struggle with the eating disorder again. She needed help now and that meant returning to New York for treatment, effectively ending her student teaching and putting her education on hold. In spite of himself, Shawn cracked a smile his teenage self coming up wild scenarios to keep Audrey in Philadelphia while she got help. One involved a museum dinosaur.

What on earth was I thinking?

He shook his head in amusement at the younger Shawn. He knew the answer, though. He wanted to keep Audrey with them whatever it took. Jon struck down every idea except one. He finally agreed to get her help without anyone knowing about it that did not absolutely need to know. Together, they, along with Audrey, carefully coordinated her treatment schedule with her school schedule making sure her health was a priority. He and Jon covered for her when she missed classes due to being in New York making sure no one at school, especially Mr. Feeny, found out. Jon told him the principal would have no choice but to report her to her supervisor, and him to the school board. Shawn knew Jon hated the deviousness of what they were doing, but it wasn't hard to convince him to keep it up- he wanted Audrey to stay as much as Shawn did. Eventually, it became necessary to pull Cory and Topanga into the scheme when Feeny and the other teachers became suspicious of Audrey's absences. Everything was going according to plan until Audrey's final day of student teaching. Without calling, Miss Tompkins came over the night before to see Jon. She let herself in with the spare she had never returned. He and his teacher had been out to pick up groceries when she arrived. Just as they were reaching the door of their apartment, Audrey's doctor called to change her appointment time for that week. Neither he nor Jon made it to the phone before the machine turned on and started recording.

Katherine's visit was short, but the damage it caused was long-lasting. While the recording didn't give much info away, Shawn always figured that Miss Tompkins must have done some snooping about the doctor and told Mr. Feeny. Early next morning Audrey's time at John Adams High was terminated and Jon was reprimanded. Shawn never found out exactly what that meant and didn't matter. Audrey was gone.

Everything changed and Shawn hated it. Jon started dating again, but the women he brought home were as opposite from Audrey as he could possibly get. He rarely dated the same girl twice, always ending things on the lie that he couldn't commit. Shawn knew the truth but said nothing, thankful that none the women stuck around- he couldn't stand any of them. It was such an odd time that Shawn looked forward to spending as much time away from the apartment as he could. In the midst of everything, his father came back. The pain of losing Audrey and the joy of being reunited with his dad, left Shawn incredibly confused. In time it became apparent that Jon was suffering a double loss and there wasn't anything either of them could do about it. For a time, their relationship was strained as they both grappled with the changes. However, differences were set aside as soon as the school year was over because Chet Hunter let Shawn go with Jon to see Audrey. Interestingly enough, their reason for going to New York gave his father and his mentor something to bond over.

The trip, however, was a resounding failure. Audrey seemed elated to see them initially, but quickly distanced herself. They stayed for a week before returning to Philadelphia alone. Jon surprised her with a proposal and asked her to come with them-with him- and she said no. Her father was dying, and she would not leave him. No scenario Jon offered was she willing to take. No. No. No to them; both of them.

Just like that the fairy tale was over.

Shawn deeply resented the situation that prevented her from coming home with them until he lost his own father and understood what she had been going through. He bore deep regret over the angry last words he yelled at her, the unforgiveness he promised her. Shawn grimaced at his immaturity. Nothing improved for him or Jon. Everything seemed to get worse. Jon's motorcycle accident happened the next school year. Once Shawn knew he was going to be okay, he backed further away from his mentor. He simply couldn't go back to the hospital. Instead, he excelled at avoiding anything to do with that part of his life, much to Cory's dismay. But he wouldn't waver on his stance. Towards the end of college Eric, of all people, convinced him to at least take a call from their old friend. So he did, but even with their contact over the years, there was still a gulf between them because every time Jon tried to tell him about his life, Shawn ended the conversation. Whenever Cory or Topanga tried to tell him about Jon's family he walked out.

It wasn't that he didn't care about the man who he still considered his second father. He had a very good reason for not wanting to know about that part of his friend's life: as long as no one said anything to contradict the dream he lived for too short a time, he could go on believing it still existed somewhere. As long as reality never encroached on those memories it would forever be autumn in Philadelphia.

"The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain, but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire. You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see is black. You may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a fire department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down." ― Lemony Snicket