A/N: Thanks to for the review(s)! I've been working on this story for a long time and would love to hear some feedback.
Chapter 4 - 1.4 or "Operation: Get Snivellus"
The four boys finished their supper quickly and headed up to the common room, where they hastily completed the Transfiguration assignment that McGonagall had set for them that morning. James and Sirius were finished in fifteen minutes, but Remus and Peter took nearly an hour. James waited impatiently for them to finish, trying to distract himself by playing a game of Exploding Snap with Sirius, but only managed to singe his fingers.
He had gone back and forth over the decision to share something that was so personal to him, but he had already told Sirius about it, and he decided that pranking Snivellus was more important than secrecy anyway. Besides, he had decided that morning to staunchly ignore everything his parents had warned him about, at least as it pertained to Sirius. Sirius was one of the most fun people James had ever met, and though they had only known each other a day or so, he already trusted him. As for Remus and Peter, they would need at least one more person to help manage the plan, and though they would have preferred Remus over Peter, it couldn't hurt to have an extra set of eyes around, even if the eyes were attached to someone as annoying as Peter Pettigrew.
"Finished," said Peter, slamming his quill down and admiring his work. He, James, and Sirius all turned to wait for Remus, who sighed and rolled up his parchment.
"I'll just…finish later, I guess."
"Excellent," said Sirius, and he and James bounded up the stairs, followed closely by an overly excited Peter and an anxious Remus.
Once in the dormitory, James sat down on his bed and the others gathered around him, staring at him as if waiting for instructions. He shifted. "Okay, well, erm, I'm going to show you something, and it's going to help us prank Snivellus and go on lots of fun and fantastic adventures." He sprawled out flat on his stomach, hung his head over the end of the bed, and started digging around in his trunk. Finally, at the very bottom, he found what he had been searching for. Pausing first for dramatic effect, he sat up straight and unveiled what appeared to be nothing more than an old, ordinary book. He stroked the cover lovingly, and the others just stared at it, seemingly unimpressed.
"A book?" Sirius raised a skeptical eyebrow. "That's all? I thought you said –"
"Hold your hippgriffs," said James, clutching the book to his chest as if insulted. "Let me explain." The others stared at him. Sirius had his lips pursed, looking doubtful. Peter shifted from foot to foot in excitement. Remus seemed to be on the verge of fainting from nervousness. James beckoned them forward, and they all climbed onto his bed, sitting cross-legged in a circle.
"James, hold on a second," said Remus, his voice imploring. "Whatever we're doing…this plan or whatever it is…we can't – I mean, we're not going to get into trouble for it, are we?"
Sirius scoffed. "Don't worry, they won't kick you out of Hogwarts just for a jolly jape on another student. And besides, what's the fun if there's no risk in it?"
Remus looked as if he very much wanted to disagree but thought better of it, because he simply looked back at James and twisted his hands together.
"Okay," James began, "a few weeks ago, my mum wouldn't let me out to play Quidditch because it was raining and she thought I was getting sick or some rot like that, so I was bored out of my socks, and I went poking round in my attic to find my old set of Gobstones. There were some boxes up there, with a load of my parents' old school things, I guess, and I found this." He held out the book for all of them to see.
"Hexing the Enemy: An Encyclopedia of the Most Daring Hexes, Jinxes, and Pranks for Magical Jokesters," Peter read.
"So that's what's going to help us?" said Sirius. "A book?"
James frowned at their lack of excitement. "Well, yes, but we've already got our idea, right? This will just help us to expand on it." The others looked at one another, skeptical. James cleared his throat. "All right, so it's not the most brilliant thing in the world, but this isn't even what I wanted to show you." He opened the thick book to a page in the middle and pulled out a few folded sheets of very old looking parchment. "These are." He waved the parchment through the air as if to prove his point.
Peter, trying his best to get a better view of the parchment, fell off the bed. Sirius and James both snorted in laughter, but Remus jumped up at once to offer him a hand. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Peter nodded, a dull pink creeping up his cheeks. He climbed back onto the bed and looked at James, who was attempting to keep a straight face. "What is it?"
James coughed and unfolded the first sheet of parchment, tucking the second away underneath his leg. "This," he said, waving it again in front of the others, "is what we're going to use for the first stage of our operation. It's also going to be rather handy throughout the rest of our Hogwarts careers." He paused, reveling in the anticipation coming from Peter. Even Remus was looking rather interested now.
Sirius rolled his eyes and snatched the parchment from James's hand. "Hey!" he cried, making a swipe for his stolen possession, but Sirius was too quick for him, having already sprung off the bed and unfolded the parchment, his eyes skimming the contents. He looked back up at James after a moment with confusion on his face.
"It's a love letter," he said, handing it off to Remus as if to confirm. "What's an old girly love letter got to do with –"
"You, clearly, are not keen on details, Black," James said, grabbing the parchment back from Remus and pointing down at it. "It's an old letter that my mum wrote my dad, back when they were at Hogwarts ages ago. It seems as if they were planning a date –"
"Eurgh!" said Peter dramatically. James made a face at him and continued.
"And it says here, right here, that my dad needed to remember the best way to get into the kitchens." James raised the parchment in front of his nose and read, "'Let's not have a repeat of last time, when you were twenty minutes late because you were standing outside the door, tickling the orange. Remember, Fleamont, it's the pear that gives up the door handle when it's tickled just so.'"
"Your dad's name is Fleamont?" Sirius said, laughing.
James stared at him. "Are you seriously going to make fun of my dad's name?"
Sirius sobered. "Fair point. Go on."
"But that's just it!" James said, bouncing himself on the bed a few times in his excitement. "It tells us how to get into the kitchens! We've only got to find a painting of some fruit, and we tickle the pear, and it turns into a door handle!"
"Do you think it's for real?" Peter asked, his eyes wide.
"Of course it's for real! Why would my mum write it if it wasn't true?"
"It's pretty brilliant," said Sirius, hopping back up onto the bed next to James. "Now all we've got to do is track down this painting –"
"All we've got to do?" repeated Remus. "But we could barely find the Great Hall today. How are we supposed to find one painting in this massive castle?"
"By exploring, of course!" said James.
Sirius pointed to the second sheet of parchment that was poking out from under James's leg. "What's that one, then?"
"This one," James said, unfolding the parchment and grinning at them, "might be a bit trickier, but if I'm understanding it right, it could also be even more valuable than the tip on the kitchens." He searched the letter for the specific line and read, "'We've studied the magic behind the enchantment, and I think we've finally cracked it. You'll need to point your wand at your own reflection's forehead – this is the bit that we had been missing – and say the incantation, 'Dissendium.' The door will announce itself and you, my love, shall be able to take me out in the village without anyone ever the wiser.'"
"I hope the 'my love' bit was in the letter and you weren't just tossing it in for fun, Potter," said Sirius. James shoved him off the bed.
"The village?" Peter's brow was furrowed in confusion. "What village?"
"Why, Hogsmeade, of course!" said James.
"What's Hogsmeade?"
"An all-magical village that we officially get to start visiting in third year," James explained, folding the precious pieces of parchment and tucking them gently into the pages of his book. "But if we can figure out where this secret passage starts, we'd be able to go whenever we want!"
"That's brilliant," whispered Peter.
Sirius was now stretched out on the floor beside the bed, his hands crossed behind his head. "She said something about a reflection, right? So it sounds as if this passageway is hidden by some sort of mirror or something. Then all we've got to do is find all the mirrors, and try that spell, and see if they open up!"
"How many mirrors do you reckon there are in the school?" James asked, leaning his head over the side of the bed to get a better view of Sirius.
"No idea…a dozen, maybe?"
"I'm confused," said Remus, though he looked much more anxious than confused. "I mean, the kitchens are one thing, but why would we want to sneak out of school? We just got here!"
Sirius sat up and looked at Remus as though he were mad. "Remus! Do you know what people would do to get this kind of information?"
Remus faltered under Sirius's incredulous stare. He picked at the knee of his robes and didn't look at any of them as he spoke. "I-I just thought…I'm not sure I'd w-want to sneak out of school. I like it here, so far, and we're lucky to even be here –" He had evidently said too much, as he cut off and flushed red.
"Lucky?" asked James. "Is it luck? I thought any kid with magic in Britain was supposed to come to Hogwarts."
"That's what I thought too," Sirius nodded.
"Not lucky," Remus muttered, looking very much like he would prefer to vanish on the spot. "I meant…I don't want to get in trouble for sneaking out. They might kick us out for that."
James was starting to feel guilty for some reason at how unsettled Remus looked. This plan was supposed to excite them, not upset them. "It's not a big deal if you don't want to go," he said, looking Remus straight in the eye. "Really. And we don't even need to get into Hogsmeade anytime soon. We can save it for later. We do, however, need to find the kitchens in order to make our plan work."
Remus smiled gratefully at James, who returned it. Sirius shrugged and reached up to grab the encyclopedia of pranks off of James's bed. Remus was watching him cautiously, as if scared he might be cross with him for not wanting to run off to Hogsmeade that very instant. Sirius, though, just grinned and looked up at them all.
"All right lads," he said. "Time to start phase one of Operation: Get Snivellus."
In the end, it took the boys three days to discover the painting of the bowl of fruit. It was late, and James and Sirius had been out all evening, serving the detention for their sojourn in the lake. Remus was up in the dormitory, writing a letter to his parents before turning in for the night, when the pair clambered in and made straight for his bed.
"Evening, Remus," Sirius said, hopping up to sit on the foot of Remus's bed. Remus shifted his legs to make room for the other boy. "We have news."
Across the dormitory, Peter, who had been reading through the latest issue of his favorite comic, straightened and looked over at the group.
"You have news?" Remus repeated. "About…about your detention?"
Both boys laughed at this. "Nah, though it was a real lark, I tell you," said Sirius. "We were made to clean out the niffler enclosure with that giant bloke Hagrid, and he's got some good stories, that Hagrid."
James, who seemed to be holding something behind his back, wrinkled his nose. "I'm not certain that 'lark' is the word I'd use to describe it. I reckon I'm going to smell like niffler dung for the next week. Do we smell like niffler dung, Remus?"
Remus looked back and forth between them. They certainly didn't smell good. "Er, no…I mean, you…I'm not sure what niffler dung smells like exactly."
They both laughed again. "Don't worry," said Sirius. "We'll be off to wash in a minute. But first, our news."
"Right." Remus straightened and set his quill and half-written letter on his bedside table. Peter, he had noticed, had placed The Adventures of Dino Danger aside and was now casually inching closer to them. "Your news."
With a dramatic flourish, James revealed what had been behind his back. It was a small plate of chocolate eclairs. Remus stared at it.
"Eclairs? Your news is eclairs?"
But Peter, who was now standing directly beside Remus's bed, gasped at it. "You've done it! You've found the kitchens!"
James hastened a quick look at Goomer's bed, where the velvet curtains were pulled tightly closed. He then turned back to the others and bobbed his head, grinning eagerly. "Finally," he said. "We decided to take a poke down round the basement after our detention –"
"But it's after curfew!" whispered Peter.
"So?" Sirius said. "If we were caught, we'd just say we were on our way back from the detention. Anybody who could smell us wouldn't argue the point."
"Anyway," James continued, "we found it. The fruit painting. Tickled the pear, it turned into a door handle, and voila," he waved his hand over the plate of eclairs, "the kitchens."
"And now we've only got to figure out the potion and a few spells, and we'll be all set." Sirius hopped off the bed and made his way toward the lavatory. "But first – a wash."
James offered Remus the plate, but Remus shook his head politely.
"Don't want one?" asked James.
"No, thank you." Remus paused, wondering briefly whether he had the nerve to say it, and then he smiled. "They smell like niffler dung."
For the third time in as many minutes, James laughed.
For the next week, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter spent every free moment they had planning their ultimate revenge on Severus Snape. They spent their free evenings in the library, hastily scribbling down their assignments and then flipping through dusty old books to try and find the spells they would need. During every History of Magic lesson, the four sat in the back of the room, passing notes containing details, instructions, and new spells they had found. Professor Binns, a frightfully old wizard who was quite oblivious to any of the students in his room, didn't even notice when James fell out of his chair from laughing so hard at the pictures Sirius had drawn on his parchment. Needless to say, they discovered all that they could get away with soon into the first lesson.
Remus found himself caught up in the whirlwind created by James Potter and Sirius Black, unable to slow anything down and uncertain as to whether he would if he had the nerve. On the one hand, the others never gave a second thought to including him. It was almost as if he were – dare he think it? – normal. And not only did they include him, they seemed to like him, something he wouldn't have thought possible before he had met them. They asked his opinion on ideas and schemes, waited for him after lessons, and even seemed sincerely interested in his home life.
"You mean your dad's a wizard, but your mum, she's a Muggle?" said Sirius incredulously during lunch one day. "An actual Muggle?"
"Are there fake Muggles?" James cut in.
"But she – she can't do any magic at all?" Sirius clarified.
"No," Remus shook his head and poked at the carrots on his plate. Worry fluttered in his stomach. "She can't do any magic at all. Is that – is that a problem?"
Sirius seemed amazed by this. "A problem?" He thought about it for a moment and then let out a whoop of laughter. "It's bloody brilliant, it is. How'd your dad meet her then? What's she like? Do you have a house elf that does all the washing up for her, or does she have to do that by herself, without magic? Has she got one of those," he snapped his fingers together as if trying to remember the right word, "one of those motorcar things?"
Remus nodded timidly and Sirius let out another whoop of laughter.
"Come off it," said James. "Even my parents have got a car! Everyone does."
"Not mine. I've never met someone who's got a motorcar before." Sirius piled more roast beef on his plate. "My mum says they're loud and unsightly and won't get anywhere near one. Granted, she's loud and unsightly, and I'd like to never get anywhere near her, but that's a topic for another day."
"We haven't got a car, either," said Peter.
Sirius grinned and slapped Peter on the back. "See what I mean? It can't be all that uncommon. Thanks Peter!"
"You're welcome!" said Peter, beaming.
Remus found both James and Sirius's home lives to be nearly as interesting as Sirius found his. Both of their families were very rich and powerful, yet also very different. From what Remus could gather, the Blacks were one of the prominent families of the high circles in the wizarding upper class; the Potters, on the other hand, didn't seem to have much to do with many of those families and, thus, remained somewhat of a mystery. James's father had apparently built his fortune in the potions sector. It became clear by the first or second night that James was quite spoiled at home, and only Sirius had the nerve to tell him to shut up about the top-of-the-line broomstick that was sitting in his bedroom at the moment. James hadn't mentioned it again since.
Sirius, on the other hand, seemed almost naïve at times about the realities of the wizarding world and its interactions with its Muggle counterpart. Remus was quietly impressed with the way he just soaked in Hogwarts in the first week, ignoring the Slytherins who hissed at him as he walked by and making casual quips at those who quoted his mother's Howler to him. But there seemed to be something else below his joking, mischievous demeanor, and from time to time, Remus would catch a look on the boy's face that was at once defiant and terrified. It never lasted long, usually melting into some sort of boisterous laugher within seconds, but Remus was sure that it had been there.
Neither James nor Sirius ever talked to Peter much, and Remus could tell that they were both becoming annoyed with their tagalong. Remus didn't mind Peter at all and even felt a bit sorry for him. Never having had a friend before, Remus knew what it was like to feel out of place. He found Peter to be nice to have a conversation with when he wasn't nervous for some reason, and to be surprisingly adept at researching the spells they would need for their prank. His ability to remember random tidbits and spells outstripped that of the other three, though his magical skills were not quite up to their standard.
But a small voice in Remus's head kept telling him that what they were doing was wrong. Technically, they hadn't yet broken any school rules, but they were planning on breaking about ten of them in one go, all to get revenge on someone Remus didn't really even know. Sure, Snape had hexed James and Peter in the corridor on that first day, and honestly, the amount of sheer loathing he harbored for James and Sirius already was slightly unbelievable to Remus, but other than a few hexes and nasty glares, he hadn't done much to deserve what they were going to do to him.
And then there was the other voice, this one not as small as the first, which sounded disturbingly like Remus's father. His father had warned him about getting close to other students. If anyone found out his secret, there would be no recourse. It was imperative, Lyall Lupin had said, that Remus keep his distance and keep his head down. It had been nothing short of a miracle that Remus was admitted to Hogwarts, and not only was he not heeding his father's advice, but he was doing so while breaking school rules. If they were caught, if he was expelled, would Remus ever be able to face his father again?
Nevertheless, Remus continued writing notes to his friends in class (he had friends?), researching spells and charms that were handy, if nothing else, and spending an absurd amount of time observing Snape's movements and eating patterns. As Sirius had said one evening over dinner, "The predator should know what the prey tastes like before pouncing."
After that, they all had lost their appetites and left dinner early.
They had opted early on to have the prank take place in the Great Hall, where it would do the most damage. Having finally finished their research on the second Saturday of term, they had decided to wait until that Monday to do it, as they wanted the extra day to double-check all of their spellwork.
"Boys, I think we've done it," said Sirius on Sunday night. He collapsed backwards onto his bed, his hands behind his head, grinning.
Remus, sitting cross-legged on his own bed, flipped a page in the book he was poring over and furrowed his brow. "Hold on, we might still need…"
"Remus, you've got that Imperturbable Charm down. Stop worrying so much," said Sirius, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling.
Remus ran his finger down the list they had made. "James, the potion is ready?" James nodded. "You added the lacewing flies?"
"Yep, added them right before dinner."
"Good. Okay, Peter, you have the belladonna roots chopped for tomorrow?"
"Yeah," said Peter, changing into his pajamas. "They're chopped and ready to be added."
Remus snapped the book shut and grinned at the other boys. "Then I think we're good to go."
"Hallelujah," Sirius said dryly, raising one triumphant fist so that it pointed straight up from his bed toward the ceiling. "It's about time, too. I'm not too keen on all the time we've spent in the library lately when we could have been doing other things."
"Like what?" asked James, throwing a chocolate frog to each of them. "What's better than getting revenge on Snivellus for being such a nasty git?"
Sirius unwrapped his frog and bit its head off. "Well nothing, I suppose. It'll all be worth it tomorrow. But we need to go exploring more. We haven't found anything except for the kitchens. I'm sure there are plenty of other secret passageways and rooms to find in this place." He paused, and looked at the card that had fallen out of his wrapper. "Dumbledore again," he said, offering it out to James. "Want it?"
James shook his head, but Peter piped up. "I'll take it! I have loads of Dumbledores. I like collecting him."
Sirius sat up and tossed the card toward Peter, but it fluttered to the floor halfway between the two beds, so Peter hurried over to pick it up.
"We should go tomorrow night," James said, his eyes suddenly gleaming with the same excitement they had when he talked about getting revenge on Snape. "Exploring, I mean. We can go as a celebration of the brilliant execution of our masterful plan!"
Both Sirius and Peter laughed and agreed at once, but Remus shifted nervously. They were planning on breaking more rules tomorrow night? Should he try to get out of it? More importantly, did he want to get out of it?
"And we should start testing the mirrors to find that passage to Hogsmeade," said Sirius, now beginning to change into his nightclothes. "I was thinking –"
But he cut off abruptly when the dormitory door opened and Goomer strode in. He smiled at them all, walked over to his trunk, and began rummaging around in it. James hopped off of his bed and inconspicuously pushed the small cauldron full of potion out of sight beneath the bed.
"What have you been up to, Goomer?" he asked, throwing his chocolate frog wrapper on the floor and scrounging up another one.
"Down in the common room with Raeanne and Mary, working on that impossible Charms essay. You lot finished it yet?"
"That thing?" said Sirius. "Oh we finished that yesterday. It didn't take us long."
Goomer, now clad in his pajamas, jumped into his bed and pulled the curtains around him. "Well I wish I had known that before. Took us near all night to finish it. Oh well, next time I'll know. G'night!"
The others bid goodnight to their roommate before meeting each other's eyes and breaking into stifled laughter. Ten minutes later, when all of their curtains were closed and they were left staring into the darkness, Remus rubbed his stomach muscles gingerly. He couldn't remember ever before having laughed so hard that his stomach muscles ached. He grinned, thinking that even if they didn't pull off their prank the next day, it had all been worth it anyway.
Sirius awoke the next morning when the sky was still a deep pink, lit by a crimson sun. At first, he couldn't remember why he needed to get up so early, and it took him a few moments before he remembered that today was the day. He jumped out of bed, landing ungracefully on the floor when his foot got tangled in the sheets, and bounded over to James's bed. With a quick throw of the red curtains, he revealed a tousle-headed James curled into a tight ball under his blankets.
"James!" he said, trying his best to keep his voice quiet in his excitement. "James, wake up!"
James just groaned and snuggled deeper into his blankets. Struck with inspiration, Sirius grabbed his wand from his bedside cabinet and pointed it at the untidy black hair.
"Aguamenti!" he said, grinning. He was starting to really like this charm.
A jet of cold water streamed from the tip of his wand onto James's head. With a howl, James sprang up, water dripping from his hair into his eyes and down his neck.
"What the bloody hell was that for?" he asked Sirius, scowling as he fumbled on his cabinet for his glasses.
"Let's go!" said Sirius impatiently.
The realization of what day it was hit James and his scowl turned into a devilish smile. He started digging savagely through his trunk as Sirius turned to wake Peter and Remus as well, although he didn't have to go very far, as both had been woken by James's shout and were already climbing out of their beds.
Fifteen minutes later, the boys were all robed, dry, and trying their best to act naturally as they made their way down to the kitchens. James had transferred the potion from the small cauldron under his bed to a sealed bottle that now rested securely in his bag. They had thought it would have been a bit of a giveaway if anyone had seen them carrying a cauldron full of bubbling fuchsia potion down to the kitchens.
Seeing as the sun hadn't even fully risen over the horizon yet, the castle was relatively quiet, though they had to duck behind a statue of Boris the Bewildered when the caretaker, Apollyon Pringle, slouched past, carrying an armful of what looked to be very painful whips. They met no one else in the corridors until they were only two turns away from the painting of the bowl of fruit and they took a corner to find none other than Sirius's cousin Narcissa and Rabastan Lestrange, a third-year Slytherin, walking down the corridor straight toward them. The boys froze, but it was too late. The pair had spotted them and there was no way to avoid them without looking incredibly suspicious.
Rabastan's eyes narrowed as they swept over the group, but Narcissa just smirked at Sirius and continued walking straight at them. She stopped a few steps in front of them, her eyes locked with Sirius's, who felt a strong urge to roll his own.
Instead, he forced a smile. "Hi, 'Cissa."
Her smirk widened as she surveyed the others, her gaze lingering a bit on James. "And what are four young Gryffindors doing around the castle so early in the morning?"
"I was going to ask the same of you, but then I remembered that I couldn't give a piss about what you do with your time, so I guess I'll see you later." Sirius tried to move around them, but Lestrange stepped forward, blocking his way. "Can I help you with something, Lestrange?"
Lestrange said nothing, but just looked to Narcissa, who didn't appear quite so smirky anymore.
"Can I speak with you alone, Sirius?" she asked, throwing another glance at James, Remus, and Peter.
"No."
Narcissa blinked before placing her smirk securely back in place. "Fine. Well I was going to tell you that I saw your mother the other day, here in the castle."
"You saw my – wait, what?"
"You didn't know?" His confusion seemed to please Narcissa. Her grin widened. "She demanded a meeting with Dumbledore. Told him he had to re-sort you or she'd go straight to the Board of Governors."
"She can't do that!"
"Well, Dumbledore refused her so we'll see what she can or cannot do, won't we? Either way, it's obvious that your decision to be in Gryffindor –"
"I didn't decide! The hat put me there!"
"– is going to send your mother to an early grave. She told me to tell you to not bother coming home for Christmas or Easter, because she can't stomach having a blood traitor in her house."
Sirius fixed his face into what he hoped was an impassive expression and took a few deep breaths before saying, "Sounds good." Pushing his way past Lestrange, he stalked off down the corridor with his friends hurrying along behind him.
He had been a Gryffindor for almost two weeks and had fallen into a state of blissful denial that his mother would be able to act on her threat to have him re-sorted. On his very first morning at Hogwarts, his cousin Andromeda had warned him that Walburga Black would do everything in her considerable power to get her son into Slytherin, but then there had been nothing. No more Howlers, no getting called to Dumbledore's office, no talk at all of re-sorting. Sirius had been naïve enough to hope the matter was dropped, and to find out that his mother had been to the school and had taken a meeting with Dumbledore was unsettling, to say the least.
No one spoke until they reached the painting of the fruit bowl, at which point Sirius leaned his forehead against the wall, hoping the coolness of the stone might help to clear it, and James doubled back to make sure no one was coming. Remus was giving Sirius an uncomfortable, pitying look, which Sirius tried to ignore.
"Are you okay, Sirius?"
So much for ignoring it. He instead tried to make himself come off as surprised by the question.
"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
Remus shifted. "It's just…your cousin…"
"She's full of it. They can't re-sort me. I'd like to see them try."
Remus still did not look convinced. "But…the things she said…well they weren't exactly nice…"
James tickled the picture of the pear and pulled at the door handle that had formed, opening the entrance to the kitchens. He looked back at the others.
"Sirius knows better than to let anything a Slytherin has to say affect him. They're all scum…every single slimy one of them."
They entered the kitchens, which were bustling with house elves trying to prepare the usual delicious breakfast. Several ran up to the boys, bowing low and offering their services. Sirius, however, barely registered them. He was staring off at nothing in particular, excitement starting to pump toward his fingertips as a devilish idea took hold.
"You're exactly right, James," he said, grinning so broadly that the others just stared. "Every single Slytherin I've ever known – and that's my entire family, mind you – is slimy and nasty. I reckon it's about time they get what they deserve, don't you think?"
Peter looked confused. "Isn't that what we're here for? To get revenge on Snivellus?"
Sirius nodded slowly. "Just how much potion do we have, James?"
James seemed to get the message, as a similar grin broke across his features as well. "Plenty," he said, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.
When the boys sat down in their usual spots at the Gryffindor table a little while later, all of them wore nervous smiles on their faces. They were a bit earlier than normal for breakfast, but were pleased to see that the Great Hall was filling up quickly with sleepy students. Sirius piled his plate with bacon and eggs like usual, but just prodded at them with his fork. He didn't have much of an appetite this morning. No one spoke very much, but their eyes kept flickering over to the Slytherin table nervously.
"I think this might have been a bad idea," whispered Peter. "You know, getting all of them. Now every Slytherin is going to hate us."
"So?" said James, smirking.
"It's all in good fun," Sirius said lightly. His eyes were following Narcissa as she made her way haughtily toward her seat at the Slytherin table. Their conversation in the corridor had crystallized something for him – he didn't want to be a Slytherin, that much was obvious, but he intended to make sure, quite sure, that everyone else knew it too. His mother could take meetings with Dumbledore and the Board of Governors and the Minister of Magic himself for all Sirius cared; he was a Gryffindor, and he would stay a Gryffindor.
"Hey, look, there's Snivellus!"
Sirius's head snapped around at James's words. Sure enough, Snape was slouching his way toward the end of the table, where he always sat with the other Slytherin first years.
"How much time do we have?"
Remus glanced at his watch. "Three minutes and counting," he said, and Sirius was happy to see that he didn't look nearly as nervous as Peter, whose hand was shaking so badly he could barely hold his fork. He fought the urge to roll his eyes and was just about to ask Peter why he was doing this with them at all when Ginuine Leigh plopped down in the seat across from him, right next to Peter.
All four boys stared at her.
"Hello," she said, smiling pleasantly and putting some sausage on her plate. She said nothing else, but proceeded to chew slowly, as if it were completely normal for her to be sitting with them.
The boys all exchanged a wide-eyed look. What was she doing there? And why in the world did she have to pick such a crucial moment to become friendly with them?
"Erm, hi," said James awkwardly.
Sirius didn't beat around the bush as much. "Why are you sitting with us?"
Gin turned to him and raised her eyebrows. "Because, obviously, I just couldn't resist your charm, Sirius," she said. The others sniggered, but Sirius just narrowed his eyes.
"Other friends sick of you, Gin?" he asked, keeping his tone pleasant.
Gin blinked at him. "I wasn't under the impression that it was against the law to have more than one group of friends."
Sirius ignored her, which she didn't seem to mind, as she just went back to chewing her sausage and staring off into space. Remus was giving him the signal. He had to do it; there was no way around it. He was the only one who had learned this particular spell, and if he didn't do it in the sixty-second time block, the potion would wear off and all their hard work would have been for nothing. He threw a desperate look at his friends. He couldn't do it with Gin sitting right in front of him, staring off over his shoulder. What if she saw?
James cleared his throat. "So, er, Gin," he said quickly, trying to get her attention. "Have you finished that Charms essay?"
Gin looked at him. "Oh yes, it wasn't too bad."
She then went back to her sausage. Apparently, that was all she had to say about the matter.
James shrugged his shoulders at Sirius, a frantic look on his face. None of them knew what to do, and if she wasn't distracted by something – anything – she would know exactly what was going on.
Peter scrunched up his face tightly, took a deep breath, and swung his hand clumsily across the table, knocking a goblet full of pumpkin juice right into Gin's lap. She gasped and jumped up, trying to get the ice-cold juice off of her robes. Sirius clutched his wand under the table. This was it. He only had one shot. Gin was still standing, trying to wipe her robes off with the napkins Peter was handing to her while he stuttered apology after apology.
"Activus," Sirius muttered under his breath, every particle of his being concentrating on the spell at hand. He felt something whoosh out of the tip of his wand and watched as hundreds of tiny, light pink specks of dust dispersed above the Slytherin table. They were so light that they were practically translucent, which was a wonderful thing, as no one even seemed to notice them.
Sirius nodded at Remus and James (Peter was still attempting to help Gin), indicating he had done it. Remus let out a long breath and James grinned eagerly, trying to get a better view of the Slytherin table.
"It's okay, really," said Gin, who was pushing Peter's hands away from her robes and trying to sit back down. "It's just pumpkin juice; it will come straight out."
Peter sat back down and looked at Sirius, who nodded and smiled at him gratefully. Peter smiled back before turning to look at the Slytherin table in anticipation. Sirius watched the pink dust particles float lazily down on top of the table. This was it.
Any second now…
And then it happened. There was a shriek from the end of the table where Narcissa and Lestrange sat. Every head in the hall turned to look as several of the Slytherins jumped up in shock, rubbing frantically at their hands and faces, which were turning lurid, neon pink. Every Slytherin – from their hair down to their feet – was suddenly the color of disgustingly bright bubblegum.
And then there was Snape.
Snape was just as pink as the rest of his classmates, but he hadn't jumped up from the table like they had because he was no longer able to. He was now floating about five feet above the table in the middle of an enormous pink bubble. Sirius watched as Snape took out his wand, aiming spell after spell at the interior of the bubble, but they had made sure that no spell could break through the Imperturbable Charm they had placed on it. Perhaps coming to this realization, Snape threw his wand aside and started pounding at the bubble with his fists, trying to find some release.
The Great Hall was in an uproar. The Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and especially the Gryffindors were all laughing hysterically at the reactions of the Slytherins. Some of them had fled the hall, many of the girls had burst into tears after attempting unsuccessfully to rub the color off of their skin, and a few hulking Slytherin boys hadn't seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, but just continued digging into their breakfasts.
No one, however, was laughing as hard as the four first years at the end of the Gryffindor table. Sirius was actually starting to feel ill from laughing so hard. He looked over at his friends to see that James was laying his head on the table, Peter's shoulders were shaking almost convulsively, and Remus had his face hidden in his hands. He reluctantly turned to Gin, who was staring at the four of them with a strange smile on her face.
Snape was now trying to scratch his way out of the bubble, which was floating higher and higher toward the cloudy grey ceiling. The professors had descended upon the Slytherin table, attempting to calm the hysterical pink students and usher them out of the hall. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, and Dumbledore himself were all shooting spells up at the bobbing pink bubble, but all of them seemed hesitant to pop the bubble and cause Snape to fall back down. Apparently, they came to a consensus to lower the sphere to the ground and roll it out into the entrance hall, away from the laughter of the rest of the school. When the bubble reached the ground safely, Sirius saw (with a pang of nervousness) Snape turn and look directly at the four of them, his pink face etched with the most powerful expression of hatred Sirius had ever seen.
"He knows we did it," Sirius whispered to the others when Gin's back was turned.
"Of course he does, after what happened on the train and all," said James, still giggling tiredly. "But we made it so that he would know, right?"
"It's not like they have any proof it was us," whispered Peter, wiping his eyes with the corner of his napkin.
"Come on," Remus said. "Let's get out of here, just in case he says something to McGonagall."
The boys got up from the table, leaving Gin sitting there and still watching them with that funny little smile on her face. Most of the Slytherins were gone, having either run out of the Great Hall in a panic or else having been escorted out by a professor. Many of the other students had calmed down and had departed for their first lessons of the day, but there still seemed to be more laughter flittering around than normal.
When they reached the entrance hall, they caught a glimpse of McGonagall and Dumbledore rolling the bubble around the corner and another outbreak of laughter overtook them. They laughed the entire way to the dungeons, trying their bests to stifle the sound, but with little success. They collapsed in their seats when they reached the Potions classroom – which was thankfully empty – and started happily rehashing the events of breakfast.
"And did you see his face when the bubble started floating up off the ground?"
"He looked like he was crying for his mummy…"
"And the way he tried to scratch his way out of that thing?"
The boys quickly shut up when the door opened and Lily, Adin, and Gin walked into the room. Adin and Gin took their seats next to Peter and Sirius while Lily, looking rather distressed, sat down in her spot near the front. She glanced at Snape's empty seat before turning around and looking at her classmates.
"Do you guys think that Severus will be able to make it to the lesson?" she asked them.
James shrugged. "Who cares?"
"I doubt it, Lily," said Sirius, doing his best to keep a straight face. "There isn't room in the dungeon for his new pink home."
Everyone but Lily laughed, even Gin. Lily frowned at the boys before turning her back resolutely on them with a huff.
The door opened again and they all turned, expecting to see a few bright pink Slytherins, but instead, Raeanne, Mary, and Goomer came in and took their seats as well. The Gryffindors sat there happily, wondering who had been behind the prank (Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter all tried their best to look innocent, but Sirius did catch that same funny smile back on Gin's face when the subject was broached) and taking bets on what shade the Slytherins had become at the moment. Lily flipped through her Potions book, resolutely ignoring the entire conversation.
About ten minutes later, the door banged open once more, and Slughorn waddled into the room. He was dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief that perfectly matched his waistcoat, looking distinctly frazzled. He surveyed them all hastily before harrumphing and saying, "I need to get back to the hospital wing to keep an eye on my students. The lesson has been cancelled for today. Review color-changing potions for next class, which, if I may be so bold, is quite appropriate in such circumstances…"
And he left the room without another word.
The Gryffindors just stared at the door for a moment in shock before Sirius clapped his hands together once, jumped up from his table, and made his way to the door out of which Slughorn had just exited. The others followed and within seconds, Sirius was walking back to the common room with James, Remus, and Peter, amazed at their good fortune.
"So let me get this straight," said James gleefully. "Not only did we successfully pull off a massive prank on Snivellus and all his Slytherin cronies, but we get to skip Potions today too? This is brilliant!"
Peter nodded, hustling to keep stride. "We should do this every day!"
The others just laughed and shook their heads. For the first time since they had met, Sirius didn't feel a twinge of annoyance at Peter's stupid remark. It had been Peter, after all, who had rescued them with his pumpkin juice. Remus seemed to be thinking on the same page as Sirius, as he smiled kindly at Peter and said, "Hey, Peter, well done with the…er…distraction and all."
Peter reddened, but looked quite pleased. Sirius cuffed him on the shoulder. "Yeah mate, that was some good thinking back there."
"Thanks Sirius!"
"Amortentia," James told the Fat Lady when they reached the portrait hole. Sirius was about to follow his friends through the hole when he felt something pulling at his sleeve. He turned to find Gin standing behind him, pulling him away from the common room entrance.
"I need to talk to you," she said as the Fat Lady swung closed in front of them.
Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Yes?"
She licked her lips nervously for a moment before saying in a low voice, "I know it was you guys."
Sirius did his best to look innocently confused. "What was us guys?"
"Stupid doesn't become you, Sirius. I know you and the others were the ones who turned the Slytherins pink this morning and did...that bubble thing…to Snape."
Sirius tried to remain calm. He didn't know Gin well enough to know whether or not she would shop them out. He crossed his arms. "I don't know what you're talking about."
She just rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone…yet."
Sirius sighed. "What do you want from me?"
"Oh I don't know," she said, a smirk pulling at her lips. "I'll let you know when I decide." She turned, murmured the password to the Fat Lady, and climbed into the common room.
The painting swung closed, leaving Sirius alone in the corridor, staring openmouthed at the place where she had just disappeared.