AN: The birthday Shawn mentions is detailed in Birthday Wishes & Valentine Kisses. The nightmare Audrey recalls in Keys. And the text in bold italics is from the fourth season episode "Fishing for Virna".
"Why didn't you say something sooner, Riles?"
The early morning air was chilly and the girls, in their pajamas and spring jackets, huddled together on the floor of the old treehouse that had been built when Riley's grandparents moved in decades ago. It was rarely used anymore unless the younger boys played in it; Riley and Julia had outgrown it a long time ago.
"I didn't want to ruin your time with my aunt and uncles, Maya. You have an incredible opportunity to get what we've dreamed about for you. I want you to have a dad who loves you as much as mine loves me. I want you to be my cousin officially."
Maya stuck Riley's cold hand in her jacket pocket. Her friend shivered against her. She wanted a private place to talk without worrying about getting caught by the adults, but she now regretted suggesting the treehouse. She didn't realize that Philadelphia mornings were still so cold in April.
There were a lot of things she had done recently without realizing the consequences.
"But you should have told me," she insisted, "that you were feeling like this. How could telling me change anything?"
Riley smiled through her tears. "Because you'd worry and focus on me instead of Uncle Shawn. You need to spend as much time with him as you can, Maya. He won't have a lot of it because he also needs to be with Uncle Jon."
"Okay. But why didn't you tell me before we came here? You could have told me at school."
Riley didn't answer right away. She stared into the distance as tears began to fall again. Then abruptly she sat up, pulled her legs under her, and looked up at the ceiling.
"I was afraid if I said anything out loud it would change everything."
May frowned. Normally, she could follow Riley through whatever rabbit hole she went down, but she was lost. It felt like her best friend was speaking in a riddle. "What're you talking about? What would change?"
"You know my parents are relationship goals to, like, everyone, right?"
"Yeah."
"I don't want them to become relationship un-goals."
"Riles," she said even more confused. "I don't understand."
"Uncle Jon and Aunt Audrey are the second greatest love story I've ever heard."
"Your mom and dad being number one." That was the only thing Riley said that she could follow.
Riley smiled sadly and nodded.
"I'm glad, Riles. Really." Maya squeezed her hand." Gives me hope that Mom and Shawn can be number three, but what does that have to do with anything?"
The wet, glossy look of unshed tears reflected in the other girl's eyes. "Uncle Jon and Aunt Audrey aren't the same anymore."
Maya blinked. "How?"
"Have you heard Uncle Jon yell lately?"
Maya's face pinched into a deep frown, and she pinched her lips together as she thought. "Well, yeah. A little. Very little."
"He never yelled before."
"Before what?"
"Before Aunt Audrey found out what was going on at his job."
Riley looked like she was a thousand miles away and Maya felt she had to hold onto to her to prevent her from drifting away from her.
"Riley?"
"Everything seems normal to you because you don't know what it was like before and you're used to yelling," she paused and inhaled a deep breath. "Uncle Jon was different, happy, relaxed. So much fun. When we'd come over for our monthly sleepover, he and Daddy planned the games we played or found something cool to do in the City we've never done before. He laughed a lot."
Riley stared down at her hands that were now bright red in the chilly air. "Things changed when he became superintendent and we stayed in more because he was tired, but we still had fun. He still read bedtime stories to us. He and Aunt Audrey still did their nightly routine no matter what."
"Nightly routine?"
Riley turned to look at her with a sad apologetic look in her eyes. "You don't what that is, do you?"
Maya shook her head.
"Because they don't do it anymore."
"What was it?" Riley's implication that there was something wrong in the Turner's marriage concerned her. She tried not to panic or think about what that might mean for Shawn and her future.
Surely Riley was wrong.
"Aunt Audrey really doesn't like to watch TV," she explained. "She has a hard time just sitting and doing nothing. Uncle Jon likes to relax by watching something. So, Aunt Audrey sits on his lap, they talk a little then she falls while he holds her and watches TV."
"That's it?" While Maya found this very sweet and wholesome, it bothered her as she couldn't recall ever seeing them do what Riley described.
She nodded. "I think it's really sweet. It reminds me of Mom and Dad watching their show with a glass of wine after we all go to bed."
Maya gave her a funny look. "How do you know they do this every night if it's after you go to bed?"
"I check," Riley gave her a small smile. "And watch them sometimes. Julia checks too."
Maya leaned forward and waited for Riley to go on. But she didn't. She stared at the splintered wood floor and traced a pattern on one of the planks.
"So what does that have to do with anything, Riles?" she prodded. "I'm really lost."
Riley took a deep breath. "Ever since Aunt Audrey was told what was going on at the District Office and how much it was affecting Uncle Jon things have changed. They snap at each other a lot. Uncle Jon's always irritable or doesn't wanna talk. He goes off by himself away from the family. They don't their routine anymore."
"Oh." Maya looked at her curiously. She had no idea any of this was happening and based on the way Riley had been acting, she had no way to know anything was wrong. It surprised her just how acutely aware her best friend was about things like this. And it made her feel worse for dismissing her as flighty and not serious like she was.
"Something's not right with the new baby."
This startled Maya and she gave Riley a dumbfounded snort in response.
Riley nodded. "He snapped at me the last time I asked about the new baby. He's never been like that before. I don't think he wants this one."
Riley hung her head bowing low over her knees. Her dark hair piled in front of her. "I don't want that to happen to my parents. I don't want them to change."
Maya still didn't understand why she was so upset about what was going on at the Turner's place. She hadn't seen anything so bad. Although she had to admit the baby was a sore point with Uncle Jon.
"What are you afraid will happen?"
It took Riley a long time before she could give voice to her fears. "That they'll start fighting and being unhappy with each other. I'm afraid they'll end up divorced."
Letting out a slow breath, Maya watched her breath dissipate in the cold air around them. She didn't want to admit that Riley's fear was attaching itself to her, but it was. If the foundations of two of the most solid relationships in existence could be shaken and cracked, what hope did her mom and Shawn have?
Okay, Maya thought, Riley's sees what's been going on. Now I need to look at what this really means and not jump to conclusions.
That was much easier said than done.
"Riley, I don't think anyone is breaking up," she said finally, taking a hand full of hair and absently braiding it. "I think Aunt Audrey and your mom are afraid for their husbands. Your dad and Uncle Jon are kind of stubborn about taking care of themselves, you know, always putting everyone else first. Uncle Jon got really sick, and your dad is…"
Riley looked up sharply with a fearful panic on her face. "My dad is what?"
Maya bit her bottom lip, not sure of how to phrase it. "Struggling," she said quietly.
"I know." Riley's voice was barely above a whisper. "It's worse than Uncle Jon."
"How?" Maya knew of course and Riley was right. It was much worse than Uncle Jon. He had not had a personality overhaul during his hospital stay.
"My dad thinks he's sixteen," she said with surprising force. "Three years older than me, Maya. He thinks he's three years older than me."
"He told you that?"
"I heard Mom say it."
Maya didn't know what to make of this. She didn't think it was that extreme. She thought he was being like Riley and just ignoring what was too unpleasant to face. And considering what was going on at school, she didn't blame him.
Riley suddenly clapped her hands over her face. "It's my fault. I did this to my dad."
"You?!" Maya exclaimed. "Riley, the Penningtons did this not you."
She refused to be consoled and pulled away when Maya tried to hold her. "I let it happen."
Maya let her hands fall into her lap. "What do you think you were supposed to do?"
Riley's shoulders slumped forward. She shrugged weakly. "l should have told Mom."
Maya's own guilt was creeping up on her. "Why didn't you?"
"Daddy told Uncle Jon about the new principals, and I knew Uncle Jon would take care of it. Mom didn't have to know."
Riley paused and stared straight ahead then went on, "I thought if I acted like everything was okay and showed Daddy I was happy and not worried it would help him not to be. That it would be enough to get him through until Uncle Jon could fix things."
The girls were silent for a long time before Riley, in such a quiet voice that Maya almost didn't hear her, said, "My dad's broken because I didn't tell Mom."
Maya let out a heavy sigh and gripped her best friend's hand tightly before letting go. "I dunno, Riles. I kinda think your mom and Aunt Audrey knew before they were told. It'd be strange if they didn't, don't you think?"
Riley didn't seem to hear her.
The recordings she'd taken in class loomed in front of her, accusing reminders that she'd shut Riley out of something that very much involved her dad.
"You didn't break, Mr. Matthews," she forced herself to say. "I did."
Riley's head jerked up and she frowned at her best friend. "What're you talking about?"
"I recorded what was happening to your dad and so was Farkle," she confessed, sitting on her hands. "We've had evidence all this time and didn't do anything with it."
Riley was silent for so long Maya was afraid their friendship was at an end. It wasn't often that Riley screamed in rage but right now Maya wished she would. Fury was better than silence.
"Why didn't you?" she asked. Her voice was hushed and there was no emotion in it.
"I dunno, Riles," Maya got off her hands and ran them anxiously through her hair. "I wanted to be like Shawn so bad. I knew he was doing things behind Uncle Jon's back trying to take care of him. I thought I'd record what was happening in our class and then when he needed proof, I'd pull the videos out and voila! I'd save the day. Shawn would be proud of me. Maybe he could see me as being his kid then." Realizing how pathetic and selfish that sounded, her shoulders slumped forward, and she let her hair fall around her shoulders trying to hide from Riley's reaction. "Impressing Shawn was all I could think about."
Riley gave her smile she couldn't see because of her hair and laid her head against Maya's shoulder. "He's all I wanted to you think about."
Maya shook her head, feeling underserving of Riley's quick forgiveness. "I've been a terrible friend, Riley. I'm so sorry."
Riley sat up and wrapped her arms around her friend who was struggling not to cry.
"I messed up, Riley. Your dad is so bad because of me."
"We both messed up and Mom found out anyway," she pointed out. "If you had given the videos to Uncle Jon, he might have been able to do something. If I had told Mom, she might have been able to do something to help Dad until those awful people were gone. "
Guilt still hung over Maya. "I should have included you."
"I figured something was going on," Riley told her. "Something always does when Uncle Shawn and Daddy get together. We expect it. It'd have been nice to be included but maybe it was for the best."
"Why?"
"So Mom wasn't the only one who didn't know."
That made Maya feel worse. "What do we do?"
"We help Mom and Aunt Audrey with whatever they need," Riley said matter-a-factly. "Aunt Audrey will need help with the little kids. Then we watch Uncle Jon and Daddy in case something else happens."
"Like what?"
"I don't know."
Here she thought she would be the one to take care of Riley when she broke but instead her best friend was taking care of her. Riley's calm almost flat reactions to everything worried Maya more than she wanted to think about.
"Shawn knows about the videos." Maya wasn't expecting to say that; it just fell out of her.
"Good."
"Julia was taking her own. So was Dre."
"Good."
"Riley? Are you okay?"
"No."
Maya didn't know what to say. She let her head hit the wall of the treehouse. This was her fault. Riley was so much like her dad who, when he wasn't pretending to be a teenager, was as flat and emotionless as Riley.
Maya feared she'd broken her best friend. She lifted her head and let it fall against the wall again and again. Each time she let it hit the wall harder.
"Stop that!" Riley's sharp rebuke startled her into an upright, at attention position.
"Hurting yourself will make things worse for me," she growled. "Do you wanna do that, Maya?"
"No," she squeaked, guilty.
Riley took her hand and stared up at the ceiling as if she could see the stars through it. "We messed up. So, we make up for it."
"How?"
"We watch everything and everyone. If we see anything, and I mean anything, Maya, that looks off we go to Mom and Aunt Audrey."
Maya squeezed her hand and nodded. "I can do that."
When Jon awoke the next morning, he found himself looking into a worried gray gaze. He smiled and he closed his eyes again.
"Please tell me you slept and didn't watch me all night."
"So what if I did?" Audrey retorted softly running her hand over his face.
When her hand reached his mouth, he pressed his hand against hers and held it there as he rolled over onto his back.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I just woke up."
He heard his wife groan and he chuckled. "I feel groggy, babe. But better than I did yesterday. It was nice not to have any stupid beeping waking me up every hour."
Audrey inched over to him and laid her head on his chest. The weight of their child pressed into him, making him want to move away. He forced himself to stay where he was and, after a moment, the feeling passed.
Hoping she hadn't noticed, he asked sarcastically, "Does my heartrate meet with my nurse's approval?"
She lifted her head enough so he could see her frown. "You're going to be more insufferable with this now that you know it's not a joke, aren't you?"
He grinned. "Cory and Shawn are gonna have a lot of fun with it, too."
"Topanga," was all she said.
Jon ran his hand through her hair. "No more jokes. Got it."
Audrey chuckled and pressed her face into his chest. They lay wrapped up in each other until they lost track of time. Or Jon did. Audrey on the other hand, without the aid of an alarm got up as quickly as was possible for her just before the clock turned 8:30 am.
"Where are you goin'?" he asked.
"To fix you breakfast. You have medication you need to take at 9."
He groaned. "You don't need to do that, Aud. I can make breakfast myself."
"Oh, no," she snapped in a tone that warned him not to argue with her. "These next two weeks are mine, Jon. You promised."
"I know I did, but what's that gotta do with me makin' myself breakfast?"
"Because I am going to get you well before we go back." She folded her arms over her stomach, resting them on her child. Her expression softened. "Or at least get you as far down that road as I can."
Jon, now sitting up, nodded his acceptance. "All right, babe. Whatever you want."
Shawn found Audrey in the kitchen as usual. She was fixing breakfast and asked if he wanted to join her.
"Absolutely," he said. "How's Dad?"
"Okay," she responded. "He slept through the night."
"Did you?" he asked with a knowing smirk.
Audrey smiled in embarrassment. "Not really."
Shawn gently shooed her out of the way and took over cooking the bacon so she could focus on the eggs.
They stood side by side, preparing breakfast in a comfortable silence. As usual, Audrey looked like she was planning to feed a small army. After putting the scrambled eggs into the crock pot to stay warm, she turned to Shawn and asked, "Do you want toast or biscuits?"
"I'll take whatever you're havin'."
"Biscuits it is."
Shawn smile faltered. The tail of a memory shimmered in front of his mind. Biscuits had something to do with Jon finding out about her eating disorder that marked the beginning of the end for them as a family. He frowned as he tried to recall the details. Those details failed to materialize so he shook what was there out of his head and focused on his mother.
"Do you have plans for today?"
"Not particularly," she replied as she preheated the oven. "Cory and Topanga are taking the kids to Spruce Street Harbor Park to go roller skating. They'll probably be gone most of the day."
"What's Dad gonna do?"
"As little as possible if I have anything to say about it."
Shawn grinned. "Because Dad does so well sittin' around doin' nothin'."
Audrey rolled her eyes. "He will be frustrated and frustrating for a while. But he needs it whether he'll admit to it or not."
"What are you gonna do? You don't do well doin' nothin' either."
"Entertain your dad, I guess."
"Under normal circumstances I would not ask what that means, but since these aren't normal circumstances, what does that mean?"
This made her laugh. "There's a playoff game tonight so there's plenty of Stanley Cup coverage to watch. I've collected as much media this season as I could since your dad hasn't had much time to follow the Rangers."
Shawn had forgotten about this despite going to a game with Jon.
"It's interesting," she said quietly as she placed the biscuits on the cookie sheet.
"What is?"
"The Rangers have four Stanley Cups but only one in the modern era. Do you remember when that was?"
He had to think about it. "Well, Dad and I watched them win the Cup just a couple of months after I moved in with him."
She nodded. "You came to live with Jon, and they won their first Cup Since 1940. You come home and they're having one of their best seasons I can remember. They already have a conference title and may get the President's Trophy too. They are definitely Cup contenders."
Shawn smiled at her implication that he made the difference. He knew he didn't, but it pleased him that she equated their success with him.
As Audrey put one set of biscuits in the oven and prepared another tray, he realized she did not make the biscuits from scratch. She was taking them out of freezer bags. When he commented on this, she gave him a sheepish smile and admitted, "Four kids crawled into bed with us last night. I could not sleep with them there so I premade a few things for breakfast."
"You actually left Dad? I'm shocked," he teased.
She gave him a funny look then said, "Amy had a baby monitor left over from the grandkids."
"You did not," Shawn said with a grin knowing she absolutely set up it monitor Jon.
"Bella might've needed me too," she laughed.
"Sure," he replied looking around the kitchen that was now covered in biscuits to be buttered. "Wow, there are a lot of biscuits, Mom."
"There are a lot of people. These aren't all for us."
"Oh, right," Shawn laughed at himself. With Audrey, he tended to forget other people existed.
Jon wandered into the kitchen a short time later ducking the look his wife gave him for being up. While Audrey finished getting breakfast ready, Shawn talked hockey with him, closely watching his reactions. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Audrey also watching.
Talking animatedly about the Rangers achievements over the course of the season, Jon was clearly looking forward to the game that night. After a while, he shifted the conversation to the game they'd attended. His eyes lit up with an old familiar fire that warmed away some of Shawn's concern for him. Although his father was still worn out from the past few days, he looked livelier than he'd seen in some time. A rosy flush colored his cheeks, something Shawn hadn't seen since he'd been home.
"I still owe you and Cory a game," he said just before taking a bite of eggs.
For a brief moment, Shawn was transported back to the week before his 15th birthday when Cory went with them to Audrey's place after school to watch a Rangers game. As he recalled that night Shawn's brow furrowed in a thoughtful frown. Jon never promised to take them to a game, he only told Audrey that they should.
"It'd be kind of hard for your mom to go now," Jon mused, "but if you guys don't mind waitin', we can all go together."
That he remembered something so small after all these years and kids later touched Shawn deeply. It also made him squirm with guilt.
"Yeah, we can wait," Shawn nodded. "But Cory still can't wear Flyers anything if he goes with us."
Jon laughed and Audrey lit up at the sound.
"So what're your plans for the day?" Jon asked.
Shawn glanced at Audrey. "I was kinda hopin' to borrow Mom for a few hours."
Jon and Audrey looked at him quizzically.
"Me?" she asked, putting down her fork.
Shawn nodded. His expression clouded up as his face pinched together in a pained frown. "I found out that the Trailer View Motel is being torn down next week. It's only available today and tomorrow before it shuts down for good."
"What does that have to do with me, honey?"
Shawn exhaled a slow breath. "That's where Virna stayed when she came back. It's where she stayed instead of coming home." He had to stop for a moment. The intensity of emotion that overcame him was a surprise. "I reserved room 19. I need you to go back with me. Help me understand what happened."
Audrey reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "Shawn, you know I'd do anything for you, but I can't leave your dad right now."
He knew she wouldn't, and he hadn't come up with a way around that. It was, for reasons he didn't fully understand, necessary that it was only the two of them to go back to this place.
"Go, Aud," Jon urged her. "I'll be fine."
She was deeply torn; Shawn could see it all over her face. He felt terrible for doing this to her now, but time wasn't on their side. There was so much to go over and with the motel being destroyed he had to go back now. He couldn't explain the compulsive desire to sit in these places where so much hurt had happened, he only knew that it was necessary.
"Shawn…"
"You should go with Shawn, Audrey," a quiet warm voice behind them said.
They turned to see Amy at the foot of the stairs by the kitchen.
"I want to, Amy," she looked at back Shawn. "I do want to. It's just the first day Jon's out of the hospital. I can't."
Amy walked up behind the superintendent and put her arms around him. "Audrey, is he any danger of being re-hospitalized?"
"No," she said slowly. "Not if he stays off his feet and takes his medications properly. He goes back for another round of bloodwork in ten days. As long as his sodium levels stay up, he'll be cleared for normal activity."
"Do those medications have to be dispensed by a nurse?"
Audrey's shoulders slumped as she pushed the eggs around on her plate. "No," she admitted. "One is Propranolol, a beta blocker for migraines and sodium tablets. He takes both twice a day."
"And I've already had the first dose," Jon reminded her.
Amy leaned her head against Jon's. "Then you go with your son. Alan and I can handle this guy for a few hours. I will sit him in front of the TV and turn on ESPN. That will keep him and Alan busy for most of the day. I will be nearby to make sure things don't get too rowdy."
Audrey was still clearly conflicted, but she eventually nodded her agreement and Shawn was able to relax.
Other family members trickled into the kitchen to join them. Afterwards, the men went to the living room, Audrey stayed in the kitchen to clean up. Amy tried to shoo her out, but she was too anxious to listen and needed something to do.
Amy watched her with a great deal of affection. The way she scrubbed nonexistent stains from the plates reminded her of when she and Jon first came to stay with them just before Julia was due. Audrey was a ball of anxiety as she and Jon had been struggling though counseling and she was fearful that their marriage wouldn't survive.
"Audrey, I happen to like that pattern, I'd appreciate it if you didn't scrub it off," she teased gently.
Audrey looked at her in embarrassment, unaware of what she'd been doing. "I'm sorry, Amy."
"Nothing is going to happen to him."
"I know."
"I know you do," she said taking the sponge from her. "And I know you can't let go of control."
"No. I can't," Audrey admitted, leaning against the sink. "I'm terrified something worse will happen and I won't be there."
"It is not going to happen," Amy reiterated. "He is surrounded by people who love him and will take care of him. He moves from that couch I will go get George to give him an earful about it."
A slight smile cracked Audrey's countenance. "I know I'm being ridiculous. I know he will be fine. Even if he was still in the hospital there wouldn't be a nurse with him 24/7."
"Then go with Shawn," Amy told her firmly. "It'll be good for both of you."
"You're right," Audrey sighed taking the gloves off and giving them to Amy. "I'm not sure when Shawn wants to leave so I need to spend some time with Jon before we do.."
"Then get out of my kitchen," Amy said, gently shooing her away from the sink.
Audrey gave her a grateful hug, then left to join her husband.
The Trailer View Motel stood on a lonely stretch along the Boulevard not far from where Jon used to live. It was a dilapidated relic from the 60s that was worn out when Shawn lived across the highway from it. The motel was in such a state of disrepair it was hard to believe the city still allowed it to operate.
Shawn wasn't sure if he was saddened it would soon be gone or if he wanted to help demolish it. The memories he had of Room 19 had become bitter even though he'd never stepped foot into the room.
Audrey leaned against him as he helped her navigate the uneven terrain. The concrete walkways were overgrown with large clumps of grass and weeds. Shawn worried that she might get hurt trying to get to the motel's entrance.
Once inside they had to wait for someone to come to the front desk. The lobby, which looked like it had not been updated since 1990 was so faded and dusty it looked like a sandy haze filled the area. Shawn wasn't sure whether it was a trick of the flickering fluorescent lights or not.
The man who checked them in was as disheveled as the space he occupied. His bloodshot eyes looked so sad and tired that Shawn was concerned he might keel over on them. He took the metal key from the man and thanked him. Without a word the man wandered back to wherever he came from.
Shawn turned the key Virna once held over in his hand several times before a feel of disgust came over him. He abruptly handed the key to his mother who hugged him tightly.
The hallway was as gray and dim as the lobby. Many of the doors were missing numbers. Shawn worried that they wouldn't find the right room. It was imperative that they be in Room 19. The deep need to be where Virna stood and watched them as he and Chet tried to get her to come home intensified.
They turned a corner and there at the end of the hall Room 19 stared at them. It was marked after all although the one was upside down and the nine leaned to the right. They were almost at the door when an overwhelming dread gripped him. Fear rooted his feet to the stained worn carpet; fear of what was on the other side of the door and fear of what might not be.
Almost as soon as the panic hit him, anger roared up from the soles of his feet. Anger at Virna's abandonment not once but many times. Anger at all those letters she sent him when he lived with Jon that contained nothing but lies. Lies as bad as the ones Chet told him. Lies that hurt even worse. He expected them from his father, not from the mother who claimed to love him.
Then there was the letter she sent him after Chet died finally washing her hands of him completely.
Shawn couldn't stop himself from shaking with rage and he found he couldn't breathe as those painful memories crashed over him. The compulsion to run, to not deal with the past, hit him hard.
Audrey saw the look in his eyes and grabbed his hand. She kept a firm hold on him as she stepped out in front to put the key into the lock. She pushed open the door then turned and beckoned him in. Once he crossed the threshold, she shut the door and put the chain lock on.
The moment he stepped into the room, he became fifteen again, back at the moment he found out Virna was back in town, but not back home with him.
He wasn't enough to bring her all the way home, so he and Chet sent Cory to talk to her. His best friend had to be the one to coax her back. Just like he had to coax Chet to come back. Neither came back for him on their own.
"Cory, tell me what the room looks like? Is it clean? Is it safe? Would you want your mom stayin' there?"
The motel was in an area Shawn wasn't familiar with. Now he was frantic that his mother was staying somewhere she could run into a dangerous situation without him.
"I dunno, Shawn," Cory shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. "It's a motel room like any other motel room. I guess it's safe. The only dangerous thing I saw was that highway I have to cross to get over there."
"Tell me, Cory," Shawn grabbed his best friend by the shirt front. "Tell me what the room looks like! I wanna know every detail."
He knew every detail; he'd been over those details so many times since Cory told him that they were indelibly imprinted in his mind now in a way he regretted. Strangely, those details were brighter in his memory than in the room they were standing in.
One of the pastel pink walls was faded to gray. Long strips of dated wallpaper fell from the other walls. Above the desk near the door was the painting of a porch of a Southern plantation that was as dull as the walls. Its glass was cracked in several places and the frame was separated from its backing. Opposite the desk, the wooden headboard and yellow and cream quilt on the bed were exactly like Cory described except that they were decaying along with the rest of the building. Dust coated everything. It had been a long time since anyone had been in to clean the room.
It was little more than a broken time capsule, unchanged since Virna had stayed there.
The bed creaked on rusted springs when Audrey sat at the foot of it. She watched him closely but remained quiet as he gathered his thoughts.
"She ran away, Cory," he said to his best friend in the cafeteria of John Adams High. "She ran away for a year. Deal with it. I have."
He had not dealt with it. He'd only pushed it around until he was able to bury it completely. But now it was coming back to life like a spring bulb he should have dug up and gotten rid of years ago.
"She was the only mother I knew for fourteen years. She knew I thought I was her kid, her blood." Shawn stood by Audrey staring at the window. "All the years she took care of me, did she ever really love me? Or was I like Eddie and Stacy and once I was no longer a cute little kid, she had no more interest? Is that what made her leave? I wasn't a baby anymore. Was I too much like Chet?"
He moved closer to the window, clenching his fist until his short nails dug into his skin.
"Why did she let me go on thinkin' she was my mother? Why did she write all those letters tellin' me she loved me? Why did she lie to me for 365 days? Why did she choose a letter to tell me she didn't want anythin' to do with me right after Chet died? Why?!"
As much as she wanted to hold him and try to absorb his pain, Audrey stayed where she was, quiet and waiting. She knew he needed to let the anger out uninterrupted.
"Neither of you were my mother!" He spun around fury blazing in his eyes. "She raised me until I was fourteen then discarded me like trash. You took over and when I threw you away, you kept a room open and my pictures in the family album. You let your children, your blood, believe I'm their brother." He sank to his knees. "Why?"
Not waiting for an answer, he sat at her feet, little more than a child sobbing in his mother's lap.
Audrey let him cry while she lovingly ran her hand through his hair. With the other hand, she reached down as far as she could to rub his back. She distinctly remembered the time he called her, trapped in the middle of a night terror, begging her to come home to him. She was never sure if he wanted her or Virna, but she went to Jon's apartment anyway in the wee hours of the morning to hold him while he cried himself to sleep.
In time, Shawn quieted down, still holding tightly to her knees. She wished she was able to get down on the floor with him and hold him again. Eventually, he turned around and sat between her feet. He leaned back against the bed and stared off into space.
"Why did you choose me?" he asked, his voice thick with heartache. "Why did you wait for me after Julia was born? Virna moved on. Why didn't you?"
Audrey didn't answer right away. She was fighting back her own tears. She had no answers for Virna's actions because no matter how much she tried to give the other woman the benefit of the doubt, she could not understand abandoning a child, blood or not. The only thing she could answer were the questions that involved her.
"I can't tell you what the defining moment was, Shawn. It was just one of those things that happened. When Jon told me about your situation, I don't know how to explain it other than you had my heart from that moment on and I wanted to do whatever I could to be there for you."
She put her hands on either side of his face, then removed one to wipe her eyes. "I knew Chet taking off without you was devasting, but you had Jon to fill his role. Everyone talked about Chet and his awful behavior, but I never once heard anyone criticize Virna for what she did to you. All I heard was excuses for her behavior. You deserved a mother and I wanted to fill that role for as long as you needed me."
"But what about after I walked out on Jon?" The pain in his voice was to palpable that Audrey could feel it. "Why didn't you move on, especially after Julia was born?"
"How could I, Shawn?" She inhaled a shaky breath. "Do you want to know the absolute truth?"
Troubled, he twisted around to look up at her. "I think I do."
"I fell in love with you before I fell in love with Jon."
His mouth fell open at the admission. It was illogical to him, yet all her actions during that time backed what she said.
"It's true." She smiled thinking back to that year. "I had a crush on Jon absolutely, but you were the reason I spent so much time with you guys after school and sneaked around the way we did. And it was as we spent time together as a family that I began to seriously fall for Jon. We forged a friendship and partnership together that would have been impossible without you."
"Dad said something similar," he said quietly. Nothing was clarified where Virna was concerned but he could feel the fury of anger subside to a more manageable level as Audrey put her arms around him.
"Shawn, I can't help you understand Virna," she told him. "I don't understand her. It makes me so angry to think about how much damage her selfishness caused you. I spent less than a year with you and you were mine. I could never disconnect myself from that. Not even when Julia was born. She was and always has been my second child, just the first one I gave birth to. Jon and I never discussed that; it just was. How anyone could walk away so coldly from a child they raised since birth is not something I can grasp."
Shawn leaned his head against her knee and inhaled deeply.
"I think asking her directly is the only way to get any answers, honey."
This was something he had thought about before and contemplated doing a few years back. He decided against it, however. With too much unresolved in his life, he was unsure he could be in the same room with her without losing control of himself.
Not from anger but the pain of rejection. Without Audrey in his life at the time and not knowing how she felt about him or if she even thought about him, it was likely that anything Virna said would only hurt him deeper. And he couldn't stand the thought of breaking down in front of someone who cared so little for him.
The thoughts rattling around in his head about Virna were noisy and confusing. He wrapped his arms around Audrey's leg. "I love you, Mama," was all he could say.
"I love you, my son." Tears slipped down her cheeks as she gently stroked the sides of his face.
More thoughts about mothers that had been buried next to Virna began to surface and he let them. They sat in silence for a while before Shawn was able to say, "I never found her."
"Who? Virna?"
"No," he shook his head. "My bio mom. I tried but I hit a dead end every time."
"Cory told us," Audrey replied, "He said there wasn't much information to go on."
He wasn't surprised Cory had given her and Jon all the details of that hunt. "I searched for years. All I know is she was a stripper. But I don't even know if she was one from here or somewhere else. Who knows with all the running Chet did? I was born in Ohio, and we lived in Oklahoma until we moved here just before I started school."
"How did you find out she was a stripper?" she asked, rubbing his shoulders with a motherly affection. She paused to smooth the collar of his leather jacket.
Shawn didn't answer right away as he recalled his conversation with "ghost" Chet. He hesitated to say anything lest she think he was crazy, but he plunged on anyway. It wasn't any crazier than some of the stuff he came up with as a kid and she never criticized him or shut his imagination down.
This was no different. Audrey listened intently then asked, "What prompted this?"
It was an unexpected question and he had to think about it. "When Jack and I were cleanin' out the trailer after Chet died, I found a bunch of stuff from a place called the Pleasure Palace. There were several notes from a Bambi addressed to Chet. There was an ad for the place dated May 1981. I was born in February of '82."
"So you don't really know?" she said gently.
"Math tracks."
"Shawn, Chet could have been with any number of women during that time."
"I know," he said, taking her hand and pressing it against his cheek. "I thought about that."
Audrey leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. "What can I do to help you, honey?"
He shrugged, then a thought came to him. Virna had taken care of him since he was an infant. According to Chet and assuming he was telling the truth, she started taking care of him when he was just a few days old.
Virna knows who my birth mother is. The thought sent a chill through him. It had never occurred to him before now.
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Would it bother you if I tried to find my bio mom?"
Without hesitation, Audrey replied, "Not if that's what you need to do. But how are you going to find out if you couldn't before?"
"Virna knows."
This made her pause. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "Almost positive."
"What do you need me to do?"
"Nothing," he sighed. "I can't go lookin' for her now. Dad is way more important than she is. I wanna put things right between us. Then I'll go after her."
She placed her hand on his forehead then gently swept that hand up over his hair smoothing it back. "You have my support."
He kissed her other hand in gratitude and stood up.
"I hope finding her will give you the closure you deserve," she said softly. Her voice was thick with tenderness toward him. "Maybe with understanding you'll be able to forgive what she did. For your own sake."
While he understood her reason for saying this, he had severe doubts about it. If anything, this time at the motel with Audrey convinced him that understanding wasn't possible. And without that, forgiveness was out of the question.
"I'll never understand it," Shawn said looking out of the motel window at the trailer park across the street. "And I'm not sure I can ever forgive it."
Jon severely underestimated his ability to resume his normal activity.
Without Audrey around he tried to do simple things while the others were occupied, like fixing lunch (taking it out of the refrigerator anyway; Audrey had it ready) and taking a walk in the yard. He was chatting with Mr. Feeny when Amy caught him and made him come back inside, which amused his former boss greatly. Jon was convinced that Lila saw him talking with George and reported him to Amy.
Confined inside and under watch, he didn't think he would have any trouble spending several hours going over the Rangers' season. However, just over an hour into a season breakdown on a recorded NHL on NBC show, he found himself nodding off. Amy didn't let him fall asleep but twice before she sent him downstairs to take a nap.
Audrey will be thrilled, he thought amusedly as he made his way to the bedroom followed by Alan who was sent to make sure he didn't try to sneak back upstairs.
Julia, Maya, and Riley were crowded around the coffee table playing Jenga to pass the time until they went to the park when Jon passed through on his way to bed. He could feel their eyes on him as he walked by. He felt like an inmate in a prison under heavy guard.
He almost closed the curtain to his room but was afraid that doing so would draw even more attention to him. As he sank heavily into the bed, drowsiness overtook him almost immediately. He was almost asleep when what felt like a small ball hit him in the chest.
Jon opened one eye and saw Bella. She wanted to nap with him. Her little hand had hit him as she tried to climb onto him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her wild curls and she nestled against him. He closed his eyes again. Within moments he felt both sides of the bed compress around him.
Opening his eyes again he saw Julia, Grayson, and Jamie climbing onto the bed. He wasn't sure where the boys came from. They weren't downstairs earlier.
"What's goin' on guys?"
"We're tired, Daddy," Jamie's over exaggerated yawn tried to convince him.
"Okay," he laughed. With his children taking up almost all of the space, he had to adjust the way he was positioned.
The mattress sank and shifted once again. This time it was Riley, Maya, and Auggie.
"Uh, guys," Jon said looking at the bed that seemed to have shrunk. "I love you all, but I don't think this is gonna work."
Without a word, Jamie crawled to the top of the bed and laid horizontally over Julia's head. Auggie followed his lead and took the other side above Riley. Jon could feel the boys' warm breath against his temples. Grayson lay between him and Julia with Riley to his left. Maya wiggled in next to her. However awkward, they all managed to fit.
Jon knew it wasn't possible to sleep with so many in bed, but he assumed that they wouldn't stay long. He rubbed Bella's back absently as his mind drifted to the mess he left behind in New York. He tried to recall every detail he could remember about the new hires; anything that would help rid the district of them once and for all. But ultimately it didn't matter; he had to find out who hired them and who was preventing him from firing them.
His mind wandered to Cory. He hadn't interacted with him much since they arrived in Philadelphia but what he saw worried him greatly. If the situation at John Quincy Adams wasn't resolved by the time they got back to the City, Jon knew he didn't want Cory to return to the classroom until it was. He just wasn't sure how to go about it without it looking like he was giving the teacher preferential treatment.
He wished he could check his phone to see if there was any news from Aisha, but he hadn't seen the device since Sunday. He assumed Audrey had it so that he couldn't do anything work related.
Then another thought came to him- Harper was being targeted too.
Harper… he'd forgotten about her.
I need to check on her. I need to talk to her.
Jon fell asleep trying to burn it into his mind to ask Audrey about his phone.
He woke up some time later much cooler than he was when he fell asleep. The kids were gone except for Julia and Bella who was still on his chest, drooling on his shirt. Looking down he could see Maya's blond head at the foot of the bed.
When Julia saw he was awake she snuggled up to him and ran her fingers through her sister's hair. "How are you, Daddy?"
"Okay, Princess," he smiled at her. "I thought you guys would be gone by now."
"We're leavin' in ten. Uncle Josh was supposed to be here half an hour ago, but he forgot and we're waitin' on him."
Jon chuckled. They probably should have just met Josh at the park.
Bella stirred in his arms and Julia sat up. She stretched and ran her hand through her thick curls. "I probably oughta take Bella to Nana so we can get her ready to go," she said referring to Amy's request to round up all the kids.
Jon nodded and said goodbye to his daughters. Bella insisted on leaving her puppy with him so he wouldn't be sad while they were gone.
He tucked the dog under his arm and stayed where he was for a while longer wondering what, if anything, he was going to be allowed to do. Even though Alan and Amy were staying behind, he wished he was going with the others just to distract himself from his troubles. When he finally sat up, he saw Maya was still sitting on the bed.
"Maya?"
She jumped not realizing he was still awake. Embarrassed, she quickly got off the bed and scurried to the curtains. "I was just goin', Uncle Jon."
Jon swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Doesn't look like that's what you were doin'."
Maya didn't say anything. She tipped her chin downward to avoid eye contact with him.
Jon frowned at this reaction. "Maya, come here, please."
Still feeling tremendously guilty from Riley's earlier confession she hesitated to obey. She desperately needed to talk to Shawn, but he was gone, and she was afraid of what might come out of her mouth if she spoke to anyone else. One of the last things he told her was to make sure his dad wasn't stressed out by anything. What she needed to talk about most certainly would do that.
The superintendent was waiting for her, expecting her to do as he asked.
I can do this, she told herself. I can talk to him and keep my promise to Shawn.
However, the moment she sat down next to him, she began to cry. The more she cried, the more she tried to stop the tears. The more she tried to stop the tears the more the sounds coming out of her sounded like congested "huhs".
Jon put his arm around her wondering if something had happened with Shawn, until he remembered he was with Audrey. "What's wrong? Did you and Riley get in a fight."
Like a faucet that had been turned on at full force, words poured out of her, confessing everything she and Riley had talked about from the recordings to their fear for Cory.
She felt sick when she realized she broke her promise to Shawn not to let anything stress him out.
Jon was silent for a long time after she stopped talking. Maya didn't know what to make of the silence but he was still holding her so she hoped he wasn't as angry as she feared he would be.
"You should have told me," he said quietly.
"I know. I'm so, so sorry," she blubbered. "Please don't be angry!"
"I'm not angry," he said. He let out a slow breath then tilted her chin up towards him and wiped away her tears with his thumb.
She didn't understand how he couldn't be upset. Maybe it was because he was sick. And that upset her even more. Maya felt she deserved someone's anger.
"Mr. Matthews wouldn't be like he is if I had told you though," she blurted out. "Why aren't you angry about that?"
"For one thing, Maya, you're a kid. For another, this is an unusual situation. I don't expect you to know what to do. I don't know what to do. I thought Cory could hang onto until this was over. I didn't know how hard it was going to be to get rid of some bad teachers and administrators," he sighed. "But yes, you absolutely should have told me."
"You wouldn't have gotten sick if I had." Tears started to drip down her face again. Frustrated with herself she irritably wiped her eyes.
"Stop that," he told her firmly. "That was my doin' not yours. As far as the recordin's bein' able to help Cory, right now they won't."
"I don't get it," she said in confusion. "Why wouldn't they?"
Jon ran a hand over his face and shook his head slightly. "This isn't a simple case where evidence will get these people fired. I have to find out who hired them first. The recordin's will help eventually."
I hope we make it to that point, he worried to himself.
"You said Shawn has these?
"We only just told him about them though," she said quickly, not wanting him to think Shawn had been withholding this from him. Although she had the feeling that her uncle would think this was nothing compared to what Shawn was actually withholding from him.
Jon gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "You and Dre were smart to record what's been goin' on. And Farkle and Julia were smart to keep it goin'. I am proud of that."
This was only a small comfort to Maya who felt he was just being nice because she was a guest.
A guest.
The thought stung.
Maya felt drained of words and suddenly exhausted. She didn't know what else to say nor did she know how to leave. Footsteps interrupted her thoughts. Looking up she saw her best friend walking up to them.
Riley wasn't looking at her though. She was looking at her uncle and holding something behind her back.
"Uncle Jon," she sounded almost shyly.
"Hey, Riley," he smiled at her. "Here to get Maya?"
"No," she shook her head and took her hands out from behind her back. "I have something for you."
Jon took the homemade card she handed him. On the carefully folded yellow paper was the almost abstract purple cat she was known for. In Riley's neat penmanship on the inside of card was written: Get well soon, Uncle Jon. We love you and need you.
It was signed by the entire family including the Feenys. Even Audrey and Shawn's signatures were on it indicating that she was working on it before they left.
"I love it, Riles," he smiled at her as she sat next to him.
Riley caught him looking closely at the cat on the front and suddenly left a flush of embarrassment over the painting that looked like a five-year-old had done it. "It's okay if you don't," she said quietly.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked sounding genuinely confused.
"I know you're not a fan." She pointed to the cat.
Jon cringed as he recalled how a brief time ago John Quincy Adams nearly lost their art program and the lengths Riley, Maya, and their classmates went to save it. He also recalled his rather harsh assessment of her umpteenth cat painting.
"I'm not a fan of purple or a fan of cats, but I am a fan of yours, Riley," he said putting an arm around her. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelin's about the cat paintin's. I shouldn't have said what I did."
"It's okay, Uncle Jon," she told him, resting her head against him. "I know they're not very good, but they're all I can do."
He raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever tried to do somethin' else? Maybe your purple cat needs a yellow dog or a blue mouse."
Riley smiled. "I'd like that, but I've tried. I can only do cats."
"Well," he took a deep breath and glanced at Maya. "I have this other niece who's a real good artist and could probably help you branch out if you wanted. I'll have to introduce you two sometime. I think you'd be best friends."
The girls giggled.
Jon put Riley's card on the end table, so the purple cat was easy to see.
Riley stood up and held her hands out to him. "Mom wants you come upstairs when we do."
"Why?" he asked with a sarcastic edge to his voice. "Doesn't she trust me alone?"
"No," she grinned. Riley took several steps backwards as she pulled him towards the door. Maya got up and followed them.
Jon regarded her through narrowed eyes as he let himself be pulled along. "You sure it was your mom who told you to do this and not your aunt?"
Riley grinned. "They may have been texting each other."
Jon rolled his eyes.
The girls flanked him, holding hands behind his back as they followed him up the stairs.
The motel was slated for demolition, and he had no reservations about it now. The Trailer View Motel had no answers for him, and he was happy to see it go.
Shawn stared out of the window for a few minutes gathering his thoughts. From his vantage point he could see where his childhood trailer once stood. It was no longer there of course; it had been gone a long time. After he struck out on his own for good, he came to Philadelphia to pick up the trailer with the idea he would travel in it while he searched for stories for his blog. He did this for almost three months until the painful memories of the past became too much to bear alone. He ditched the trailer at a used car lot in New Jersey before heading overseas to travel Europe. Eventually, he sold it to that lot.
As for the trailer park itself, it had been well over a decade since he'd set foot in the place. He held a deep resentment for Chet's side of the family- people who claimed to love him and care for him but turned a blind eye to what was going on in his home. Worse many covered for or defended Chet because he was "blood". Keeping Child Protective Services and the cops out of the trailer park was more important than his wellbeing.
Uncle Mike, whom he once admired and looked up to, turned out to be the worst offender of them all and the deepest disappointment to Shawn. Fifteen years had passed since last time spoken to the man.
Shawn sighed as he pulled his thoughts away from his former family; he would deal with them at another time. With Topanga's voice in his head reminding him of his promise to tell Audrey what was going on he had a decision to make: tell her now or hope he could stall Topanga and tell her later.
He preferred to stall as he had no idea how to begin such a conversation.
"Shawn, I need to talk to you."
Surprised, he turned around to face his mother. Audrey patted the bed next to her beckoning him to sit down. The look on her face was so serious that an irrational wave of fear that she knew what he'd been up to crashed over him.
"What's up, Mama?" he asked nervously, as he settled next to her.
"Will you be going with your dad when he goes back to work?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "I still have the series on him to finish up."
She pursed her lips together and looked away for a moment. "I need to tell you about Yancy then."
The look on her face told Shawn everything he needed to know- this was bad.
Very bad.
"Is this about his meetin' with Dad?"
She nodded and gripped his hand. "He told your dad he knows what happened when he was fifteen and he's going to take it public as soon as spring break is over."
A sharp bolt of understanding mixed with horror hit Shawn as he realized who the texts were coming from.
"So it was him," he murmured.
Audrey looked at him sharply. "What do you mean by that?"
Shawn froze, not realizing he'd spoken aloud.
"Shawn?"
His heart hammered in his chest and screamed in his ears. He was caught now. He had no choice but to tell her everything. Uncertain of how she would react, his hands trembled with anxiety as he took the burner phone out of his pocket, opened the text app, and handed it to her.
Audrey was incredibly quiet as she scrolled through the messages. Once she reached the last one, she remained silent as she explored the rest of the phone.
Sweat beads broke out along his temples. Silence was an indicator of anger or at least extreme displeasure. It had been a very long time since his mother had given him the silent treatment. Rubbing his damp hands along his thighs to dry them, he anxiously awaited her verdict.
"This phone," she said in a low, unhappy voice, "is a replica of Jon's. How did you get it?"
The answer to this would reveal that Julia and Dre were involved. For the time being, he wanted to keep himself as the sole target of her displeasure.
"I, uh, have an app on Dad's phone that lets me intercept his calls and messages," he told her. Shawn leaned his forearms on his thighs and pressed his fingertips together. Dropping his head, he continued, "I can also control what Dad sees and doesn't see."
Audrey's eyes widened but otherwise she showed no emotion. "Go on."
From there Shawn confessed to everything from the dinner at Claudette to his investigation into Jon's past.
Audrey did not say a word when he was finished. Instead, she stood up and began to pace. The longer she paced the angrier he knew she was. Shawn felt like a kid waiting to be handed down a punishment he knew he deserved.
"Tell me again who you talked to about Jon." It wasn't a request; it was a command.
Shawn told her: Mack, Oliver Shortman, Sonja Redding, and Sandra who called herself Sandy Dee.
"Mack's a liar," she snapped and resumed pacing. "And everyone but Sonja is an unreliable witness."
"You know them?" he asked surprised. He'd assumed that due to the age difference between her and Jon she would not have met any of these people or would have been too young to remember.
"Very well," she said shortly, clearly not in the mood to entertain his questions.
Shawn lost track of how long she continued to pace before speaking again. When she stopped to face him, she was furious. He could see it all over her face.
Audrey put her hands on her forehead and stared at him in distress. "What were you thinking going to Mack and Shortman, Shawn? Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?!"
Caught off guard by the change in her demeanor from angry to maternal fear, he started to defend himself but all that came out was a weak squeak.
She walked over to him and took him by the shoulders. The pressure she clutched him with made him wince.
"You're lucky Angelo is the one you ran into out there or I might be burying my son!"
Shawn stared at her in shock. She was dead serious, but he couldn't wrap his head around why. The only danger had been the Boogeyman, who turned out to be Angelo. He still wasn't convinced the man was harmless.
"Nothing happened," he was finally able to protest. "I was payin' attention to what was goin' on around me. Angelo was the only one I saw. I just didn't know who he was. Sandra was a little scary because of the mood swings but otherwise…"
"These people seem harmless, Shawn," she interrupted forcefully. "But the people they're connected to are not. You're walking around those streets without any idea of what's really going on around you."
This was a harsh blow to Shawn's ego as he was quite proud of his street smarts no matter where he was. Something in him rose up and pushed back. He wasn't fifteen anymore.
"It wasn't that b-"
"Bad?" she finished, knowing exactly what argument he would use. "Shawn, I used to live on those streets with those people. I spent my time after school with them. I saw what went on. Jon lived it too. The people he was around were a part of what was going on!"
"What was going on?" he asked. His voice rose in frustration. "No one will tell me!"
"I've told you why I can't tell you."
She pulled back and turned to face the window. "Jon told you he would tell you and you're going to have to wait until he can. I wish I could tell you. I really do. But right now, you've got to stop pursuing this. And be patient."
Stop pursuing this…
Shawn threw his hands out to the side then ran them through his hair. He felt as though everything he'd done was wrong. He attempted to explain himself but found that words failed him. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to…I just thought if I could…."
She heard the distress in his voice and turned to face him again.
Shawn could not stop the torrent of words that came out. "I was afraid you and dad would end up divorced because of Katherine and then when all this stuff came up. I thought I could take care of it for you. You and dad are under so much stress. I just didn't want…" Rapidly, he blinked back tears. "I just didn't want my family to split up when I only just got them back."
He leaned forward as the fear and worry he'd been bottling up rocked him. Audrey was there and put her arms around his shoulders. His unborn sibling lightly kicked his cheek making him feel worse.
Upset as she was, she couldn't help but lovingly run her fingers through his hair. After a while she said, "You had no right to put that app on Jon's phone."
"I know. I know," he mumbled, hugging her tighter. "I'm sorry."
"But it's there."
There was a tone so strange in her voice that he pulled away to look up at her. She was no longer angry but thoughtful.
Shawn didn't know what to make of this.
"I mean your dad doesn't need to be dealing with anything school related," she said giving him a sly little smile, "but I do need to know what's going on. I could take his phone, but I don't want him to be without a way to contact one of us if he needs to."
Shawn frowned, not sure if he was accurately interpreting her tone correctly. It almost sounded like she was joining him and his plan. "Are you gonna keep the phone?"
"Yes."
Shawn felt confiscating the phone was a fair punishment. That quiet, secretive smile that grew as she tapped the corner of the phone against her cheek had him very curious.
"Are you gonna tell him about the app?"
She gave him a sharp look. "Oh, yes."
He bowed his head contritely as she looked at the phone again.
"Shawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Did DeAndre make this app for you?"
The look she gave him said 'I already know the answer so don't bother trying to get around answering'.
"Yes."
"So, that means another child of mine is involved with this."
Shawn figured he better confess fully, or it would be worse for them all if she found out later. "Maya, too."
She gave him a disapproving look and waited for him to go on.
"And Cory."
"That's a given."
"Topanga knows."
"And?"
He sighed. "And threatened to tell you and Dad if I didn't."
"That's odd," she said.
It wasn't odd at all for Topanga, but it struck him as odd that Audrey thought it was until he saw her attention was on the buzzing phone in her hand.
"What's odd?"
"Eli's texted Jon several times, but he hasn't responded."
Audrey forgot about Shawn and his secrets temporarily as she grabbed her phone from her purse and called Jon. He didn't answer but the call registered on the burner phone. Immediately, she followed up by calling Amy.
"No, Audrey, he's been on the couch since he got up from a nap. He's been watching playoff highlights with Alan for over an hour."
Audrey began to pace again. "I need to talk to him."
Amy put Jon on the phone right away.
"Hey, babe, what's up?"
She let go of the breath she was holding as soon as she heard his voice. "Where's your phone? I tried to call."
"I thought you had it," he replied, sounding confused. "I haven't seen it since Yancy came to the office."
"I don't have it. I never even thought about it."
"I guess it got left behind then."
After quizzing Jon about how he was feeling, Audrey said goodbye and turned to Shawn with a serious look on her face. "He doesn't have the phone and neither do I."
"I bet it's at the DO still," he said. "It never occurred to me to grab it."
Audrey pursed her lips. "This bothers me."
Shawn stood up and walked over to her. "I can log into his account when we get home and report the phone missing. Get it shut down."
"Good idea," she sighed deep in thought. After a moment, she pulled up her contact list and made another call.
"Who are you callin'?"
"Angelo."
Shawn couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with how close Angelo was getting to the family. He knew if Audrey trusted him that should be enough, but he couldn't shut off the warning voice whenever this family "friend" was brought up. "Do you think that's a good idea?"
Audrey didn't look thrilled to be making her call. "I think he's all we got. I need him to look into these text messages and make sure they're coming from Yancy."
"You don't think they are?"
"I want to make sure."
Shawn walked over to the window. He stared at the trailer park across the Boulevard feeling worse and more stressed than he did before he told her.
"Are you gonna tell Dad?"
"No," she said slowly. That cryptic expression was back. "Not now. He will have to know though, as soon as possible."
He nodded. A sense of relief washed over him that Audrey was going to tell Jon. If this made her angry with him, he could only imagine Jon's reaction. At least with her breaking the news it would deflect some of his father's ire off of him.
Audrey walked up to him until she was within inches of his face. She held his gaze with an intense harsh glare.
"And you are going to be the one to tell him."
Next: Shawn tells Audrey a Peter Pan story. Katy calls. Eli offers to get Jon's phone from the District Office. And Jon realizes Audrey is withholding information from him.
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