Man, I could've written pure snipetts of these two messaging. But it's neither the goal nor can I imagine every scenarion I'd like to write. I'll have to leave it to someone else, if I can get the ship to make enough noise.

Anyway, this chapter is titled after a piece from Jesus Christ Superstar.

Was texting someone always so… Inane? Exchanging greetings, saying farewell. When both sides of the conversation were better off doing other things, it felt kind of unnecessary. Sure, one could say that Hoshino's schedule made it so they couldn't spend every waking moment exchanging messages. But when it came down to it, Hachiman had no choice but to reveal his trump card sooner rather than later: showing the idol pics of the cat.

The result was… Mixed. She revealed she never had a pet and wondered how it was to take care of one, but the line of conversation quickly died out as it became evident that she didn't actually want one.

He could almost feel his younger self being disappointed, wondering what else he could do to keep the words flowing. Scrapping the bottom of a barrel long dried out for something, anything really. Even if it was completely mundane.

He did no such a thing, however.

Sure, he might've forgotten that most conversations are lame and boring. But that doesn't mean that he'd go out of his way to make new conversation.

When it works, it works. And when it doesn't, it's so painfully obvious that it becomes annoying. Not only to the receiver, who probably has no choice but to expose themselves to a topic they care nothing about, but to the poor idiot wracking his brain for the smallest of chances.

Besides, not everything has to be exciting. Not everything has to be an adventure.

[dance practice ended. im beat]

[Did someone fall off this time?]

[noooo ofc not. were pros]

[So nothing interesting happened.]

It also had the curious side effect of making Hachiman feel a little bad for famous people. In Hoshino's case, her life seemed to consist of three things: singing, exercise, and planning for future appearances. It was no wonder that she'd go to sleep early when she probably came back home and hit the bed as soon as physically and hygienically possible. He couldn't even tell when she had her days off because sometimes she'd just forget to reply, and them Hachiman would read the message at a strange time and just answer before going to sleep or something similar.

It wasn't exciting at all, more like checking on Komachi when she stayed out. Sometimes trying and failing to tell a joke because the necessary tells he gives to show he's being sarcastic doesn't translate well to text, or sometimes being asked a random question that he had to think about a bit more than usual.

[pastas basically melted to the pan]

[what to do?]

[Throw it in the trash and buy a new one.]

[I just replaced it tho!]

[RIP you I guess.]

He looked at the time, wondering whether his perception of it had become strange as weeks went on and he slowly recovered his ability to do things, or if the sheer weight of doing mostly nothing had made him especially sensible to it.

[Shouldn't you be going to sleep right now?]

He quickly regrated sending that message as soon as he realized he was suggesting he remembered when she said farewell, because it never actually came up in conversation and because he didn't actually say good night to anyone else over the phone. He thought about passing it off as a joke, spinning it around to make it about her inability to cook and relating it to her being a kid, but it wasn't so simple.

Hachiman quickly gave up. If Hoshino called him weird or creepy, that was on him.

Again, texting her wasn't actually that exciting. He'd probably get a reply related to her job, or maybe she wouldn't reply until the next day. Hoshino, the person that worked to keep the toolkit used to bring up the idol, was boring like that.

[forgot dinner]

[cant sleep on an empty stomach]

Oh. Okay. Yeah, an idol's diet is probably too strict. Like, it didn't strike him that way with Hoshino's case. But it made sense that there were some rules she'd have to adhere to all the same.

She probably couldn't eat instant noodles for the same reason.

[What do you have?]

[nothin]

[that was the first thing i threw together]

[In the kitchen. I mean things to cook.]

[idk]

[theres like]

[jelly]

[sugar]

[someone drank my yogurt]

Someone? He'd assumed she lived alone, but even in that case she could've had people come over. Perhaps it was because of her line of work, but these things both stood out a little and felt more off-limits than with other people. Hachiman wouldn't have found that tidbit interesting, nor would he feel that asking about it was off-limits. But lo and behold.

Was this the magic of idols? That was some pretty potent spell to put on people… Not. Hachiman was simple growing impatient as Hoshino listed off everything except something that could serve as a main dish.

[Guess you'll have to live off fruit for tonight.]

[no]

[cant]

[gotta made somethin fillin]

[make]

[Order some pizza.]

[I'll get mad at you]

[Right. Can't always answer the door with sunglasses and a facemask.]

[would you give a kid pizza for dinner]

[?]

[Of course I would. But it'd be one they don't like that much so that they think twice before asking next time.]

[what]

[Sorry, I assumed we were talking about the case of a kid asking for it.]

[kids are not always pushy about dinner yknow]

[Oh, they are. I'd know, I was one.]

[ok old man]

Instead of answering, Hachiman just scoffed and left the girl to her own problems. Pushing the phone a bit farther into the desk and resuming to type away while checking on the books he'd borrowed from the library. He'd soon go back to attending classes, just like it had once happened in high school. And, just like that time as well, there were things he needed to catch up to if he didn't want his grades to take a nosedive.

He did slack off for the most part while recuperating. But in nights like this one, he sat down and tackled the things that he should've done during the week.

Knowing that he had deadlines fast approaching helped him be productive. Or maybe that was just an excuse for a bad habit that he couldn't break out of anymore. Regardless, as long as he managed to meet said deadlines, he wouldn't do anything about it. So going to sleep late would only be a problem when he went back to college. Because classes wouldn't let him wake up late without repercussions.

The phone distracted him again.

[is it actually ok?]

Hachiman got serious for a moment.

[As long as they don't eat too much, I think. Drinking plenty of water should also help.]

[I meant me]

[Same rules apply.]

[i guess once doesnt hurt]

Hachiman scoffed. He understood that she lived off of her looks, but a single pizza night shouldn't affect her. At least not in any visible fashion. Although she might have to wait a bit too long for it to arrive…

Hachiman scrolled up to see the list of ingredients she'd mentioned.

A quick search gave him something easy enough to prepare, so he sent it to her.

He didn't know the details; he wouldn't ask for them. Hoshino's life sounded stressful enough as-is to be poking his nose where he's not welcome. But he knew two things: no one asks to consider kids without being involved with them one way or another, working all day every day and coming home tired and hungry would take its toll no matter the person. Even if he couldn't imagine the face of B-Komachi struggling to make herself something to eat before bed, he had wage slave parents. And he knew people like Kawasaki too, who took care of the younger siblings because of similar reasons.

Perhaps that's the difference between real money and people that think they have it. He couldn't imagine someone like the Yukinoshita sisters leaving home early in the morning and coming back in the evening. Even their mother looked like she chose whether to take things lightly or not, so problems like Hoshino's might even feel alien to them.

At least he knew that Yukino was a bit more down to earth because she'd lived alone and figured out all these things back in high school.

…

Well. Strictly speaking, Yukino seldom struggled with anything. Communication aside, that girl was nigh perfect. Be it in sports, art, or any other subject that Hachiman could think of. If it's possible to be good at it, Yukino would undoubtedly be. Perhaps that's why Hoshino felt so human to Hachiman, closer to what he understood for "normal people" instead of a rich Yamato Nadeshiko with a bad attitude. And the less spoken about her sister, the better.

Hadn't Hayama said once that the elder Yukinoshita couldn't be defeated no matter what?

"Damn it…" Hachiman knew very well this mood, used to feel this way a lot when he started college. So he immediately dropped his progress and walked away from those thoughts both metaphorically and physically.

What could he get himself? A glass of water felt too little to go all the way down for, and it'd probably leave him just as bothered as he was now. But he didn't feel like making coffee, or preparing himself anything to take a bite… Actually, coffee would be alright. If it was diluted enough, it might just be a hot drink to clear his thoughts. Tea would've been better, but he wanted to stop thinking about Yukino. Not think about her even more.

Maybe all we need is a time out, like kids. Maybe all we need is a little bit more maturity.

These things happen, but it's also true that Hachiman's wounds heal slower than most.

The twins didn't hate the fact that she'd suggested ordering pizza only to cook something else last minute. These two were special like that, always happy to take anything Ai gave them. Always making every little moment special and making her hope they could stay smiling like that forever.

Her miniature world might not be complete in the eyes of others, but she'd not change what she did have for anything in the world. Her children, perhaps because they were too young to understand, loved every aspect of her life. Seeing her struggle, seeing the end result in live performance. She didn't know if it was the reassurance of being able to proudly tell them what she devoted herself to, or the gratefulness of having someone else that saw what others would condemn and tell her she's doing fantastic. The best, the pinnacle of the industry. And getting them to bed while talking about her next performance filled her with a strange sense of purpose, one that had given her the initial push to grow to the top to begin with.

And this time, she had someone to thank for it.

"Success!" She stage-whispered while typing, giving the sink a glance over while waiting to see if he'd answer "You're pretty good in the kitchen, huh."

It could take a minute or forever, no in-between. So Ai would use it to decide whether to slack off a little bit or put everything in order and go to sleep.

[Normal, I'd say. I just excel at doing stuff lazily.]

That sounded nice… Sometimes she did feel like kicking back and doing nothing all day, but the only time in her life she managed to do that was prior to meeting Ichigo-san.

She'd rather be busy forever than going back, so she didn't complain with the planning, exercise, and fighting for some elbow room to have with her kids. She'd have time for herself when they grew up and entered their rebellious stage… If they did. Ai had the suspicion her genes were too strong in these two, as they had already shown signs of great maturity. Maybe they'd be perfectly lovable even when they became teenagers.

Ai could only cross her fingers.

"If you're so lazy, why don't you go to sleep early?" She didn't know whether it had become an unspoken agreement not to delve too deeply into each other's lives, Miyako-san must've talked about this when they met, but at times of peace like these Ai felt the needed to push a little further into that boundary.

Her conversation skills had improved a bit, she didn't need to rely so heavily in a script, and the guy on the other side of the screen had these flashes of niceness that reminded her why she was texting him.

Perhaps because they hadn't met for an extended period of time, or maybe she got the wrong idea. It felt as though Hikigaya stayed completely static until disturbed, like if she forgot her phone and went back two years later, she could pick up the conversation right where they left it off. Talking about unimportant stuff, just going through the motions. Only to stay completely static once more.

Like a flytrap closing its leaves to feed itself, only to go back to being a plant once more. Or perhaps like a lizard basking in the sun, living off like that until it was time to it.

Maybe the later comparison was a bit too unflattering, but Ai couldn't fathom a life like that. She understood that he'd have more things to do once he went back to studying, but it still irked Ai that someone could go through any extended period of time wasting.

[I'm actually doing a couple of projects right now, can't really go to sleep early. Plus, it's not like I'll have anything important to do tomorrow.]

See?! Isn't that just plain inefficient?!

"Just go to sleep early and do it tomorrow." She couldn't help scoffing while typing.

[I don't want to. The day is for slacking off, the night is for doing everything last minute.]

"It's even bad for your eyesight, maybe that's why you glare all the time."

[This is just how my eyes look.]

Ai stopped in her tracks.

"Sorry."

[You feel sorry for saying that or because my eyes look like that?]

"For being insensitive. I mean, your eyes are fine I think."

[Sorry for not being aesthetic or whatever.]

"I'm serious though!" Ai put the phone down, tipping to her right to see if her muttering hadn't made her kids wake up. And went back to typing once she confirmed no movements or noises came from their room "Aren't you a bit too active right now?"

[I'm taking a break, trying to distract myself.]

Ai didn't know what to say to that. She had her kids, but he didn't really have anything readily available to him to take the edge off his mind. Not that she knew of, at least. And his sister would either be asleep, if she was even a bit more responsible than him, or doing her own things.

"Wanna talk?" She finally typed after considering it for a moment. She'd had the offer given to her by her co-stars before, but she rarely took it. They didn't have a lot to talk about, after all. But she'd been going through the motions with Hikigaya for just enough time that it wouldn't be weird to talk about nothing at all.

That's all they ever did, and a strange form of comfort came from it. Maybe because she knew it helped him stave off his boredom. It felt like she was helping out someone that did the same for her, even if just in the smallest amount.

It gave her purpose, just like seeing her children cheer her on.

Her phone rang.

"I thought you'd turn me down." Ai spoke as quietly as she could, pressing her ear against the device like she'd be unable to hear him otherwise.

"I was." His voice was small too, almost a whisper. It filled Ai with a sensation of being accomplices in doing something behind people's backs. Or perhaps like a kid sharing secrets under a blanket with one another.

"Then…?"

"I'm just really trying to procrastinate as much as possible."

"Eh?"

"Postpone what I have to do." He elaborated with a sigh. It felt as though he was either stretching or finishing yawning "I let things pile up a bit too much."

"That's why I was telling you to get your times in order." Ai pouted and held the phone between her cheek and shoulder so she could start washing the dishes without putting it on speaker "You never really get back the sleep you don't take."

"Yes, mom."

"Fine, do whatever you want. See what happens."

"It must be a lot easier when you have someone telling you what to do and when to do it." He replied like she was just telling him this to be annoying "Takes a lot less initiative."

"If you think I'm babied all the time, then you're wrong. My contract explicitly states I have to do my part." Ai's half-lidded eyes pointed to the side her phone was on, like she could shove her expression through the phone and into his mind via Wi-Fi.

"But you get punished if you fail." He pointed out.

"And you don't?"

"School is different. Consequences are overrated." The guy replied with enough carefreeness that Ai could've thought he was talking about something inane instead of his future. Implicitly or not, wasn't college super important for getting a job? He couldn't live off of his face, so that was a real problem for him "Nothing a super smart person like me can't trivialize."

"Must be great to get away with it." Ai chuckled, not really knowing where to go from there.

"Must be, yeah." The reply came more somber than she expected, and for a moment she thought her words had been misunderstood "Or not. I know someone like that, and she's bored all the time."

"Like you." Ai pointed out.

"Never say that to me ever again." Again, his reply was strange. She didn't know if he was joking or not, so she backpedaled and went back to her tried and trusty way of deflecting.

People in humor did this all the time.

"Then get to work properly." She had to giggle to make things smoother, go with it all the way so she wouldn't lose the thread. Going half-way would remind her that this wasn't airing on TV or anything. But instead, she was trying to appease someone she was trying to befriend.

The answer didn't come immediately, but when it did, he sounded defeated.

"Maybe I should listen to you."

"You should. I'm the image of a successful person, after all." Ai let out a sigh when things calmed down. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know why that particular comment had irked him. But she just kept going with the flow, doing what she did best. Staying in the safe surface of what she knew.

"Who would've thought? Inspirational coaches were right: go to sleep early, exercise, invest in private property is the way to success."

"Or get scouted for your charm and talent." Ai pointed out to get a chuckle out of him.

"I guess." He didn't, but she did hear a scoff coming from his side of the conversation. So she took it as the next best thing "Then why isn't Komachi famous yet?"

"Ah, it's all rigged. Sorry about that." Ai wouldn't normally have made fun of the industry like this, not even on the TV. But Hikigaya apparently thrived in this kind of humor, so she gave it a chance.

"Damn. And here I was thinking I could mooch off her cuteness when she started working."

Ai stopped in her tracks.

"I'd hate that." She stated with some coldness in her tone.

"It's my life." He replied.

Yes, but…

"It doesn't suit you." She held the phone with her hand, thinking about where that sentiment came from "I think you have a lot to give."

More than his well-being, or at least that's what Ai wanted to believe.

"If you say so." He side-stepped the topic again, making Ai purse her lips.

"Too much thinking and too little action will leave you having done nothing." Ai insisted.

"But if I don't consider things properly, I'm bound to mess things up." He calmly replied, breathing a little more heavily as he did.

"Messing up is a part of life, dummy. How else will you grow if you don't push your limits?"

"Oh, you'd know about that."

"Well, yeah. You don't make it in this line of work if you do the same as everyone else." Ai stretched her left arm, making circles with her wrist to feel for any discomfort "The same goes for our bodies. They're made to be used, we're happier when we get tired, sweaty, and actually need to take a breather instead of going to sleep only tired in mind."

"That's not something a girl should be telling a guy over the phone." Although it sounded like a jab, she felt a tinge of discomfort in his voice.

"I thought you weren't into idols? I guess even lame guys like you can feel the appeal." She spoke smugly, putting her free hand on her waist. Too bad he couldn't see her.

"Society has tricked us to believe famous people are somehow better than the rest. Even I'm not immune to propaganda." He sounded annoyed now, but in the way she'd seen the girls reply when they're being made fun of without crossing their personal limit.

"You don't think I'm better than the rest?" Ai put as much sweetness and innocence in the question as she could, closing her eyes to savor the moment.

Again, the answer didn't come immediately.

"Not because you're famous, no."

"But…?"

"…Guess I have to give your efforts some credit." He sighed again, and that made Ai smile.

"That wasn't the question, but thanks for the praise."

"Eh…"

The silence that stretched felt a lot more comfortable than Ai expected. Seconds trickled down and she kept the tiny smile on her face, doing chores while hearing the sound of something being poured on the other side.

Was he also in the kitchen now?

"Come to think of it. How are you doing?" Ai opened her eyes. She hadn't noticed when she closed them "How's your… Mmm, you know."

"We did it, chief." Came his voice after he apparently swallowed something "I'm just taking things slowly to make sure everything goes well."

"Finally." Ai didn't know why it felt relieving. He could be lying and didn't sound too excited about it, but it still felt like a weight off her shoulders "Think you'll be able to come pick up your signed merchandise soon~?"

"Err, I meant to say I'll have to be immobile for much longer." The awkwardness in his voice made Ai scoff, but she didn't interrupt his bit "I'll have to become a NEET at this point."

"Please don't." Ai released some air through her nose. Not amused, but kind of annoyed now "If you do, at least do something online. Miyako-san says content creators will get a lot more popular soon."

"Eh, who wants to watch someone else play a game?"

"I don't know. It sounds to me like technology is advancing in that direction quickly." Ai thought about the small meeting they held about a promotional video. It had been discussed whether they should make it so people could send in their questions via a webpage and they read them, or do something more traditional. She hadn't understood that this was content to make the promo even more relevant upon being revealed, but it did leave that impression.

Or maybe she'd completely missed the point. Wouldn't be the first time, as thinking of the logistics behind those things was Miyako-san's job. Sometimes, Ai just did things as told and didn't ask questions. It'd worked thus far after all.

"Sounds like a drag."

"I don't know, just please do something productive."

"I don't think most people would call playing games "productive"."

"Most people wouldn't think singing and dancing is productive either, but I'm everyone's Ai-chan anyway."

She heard him mulling over it with another sip.

"Guess it sounds too far-fetched for someone like me." He replied after a bit.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been taught to think that once high school is over, I have to study a career, then enter the work force." He took another sip of his drink, and when he kept speaking, he sounded a bit sleepier "That's what happens. Living off art or videogames sounds like something that only happen in fiction."

"Isn't there a game that has official teams to represent their country for money?"

"Yeah, but that game automatically turns guys into weirdos most of the time. Your chances of becoming a pro are like 1% at best."

What?

"I don't get it."

"Let's just say that making things a competition has a way to bring out the worst in people." He replied half-heartedly.

"I mean, I still made it. So you have no reason to think it's impossible. Chase your dreams, Hikigaya-san!"

"Humans are persistence predators. It's more effective to follow them at your own pace until they get tired."

Again, what was he talking about? Ai sometimes really didn't understand why he'd say things like those.

"Fine. Do whatever you want, just don't come to me if things don't work out." Ai pouted again, knowing that he wouldn't listen anymore.

"Can't I at least be staff-kun if needed be?"

"Hmmm, if you ask nicely I might think about it." Ai hated to admit it, but he did save her life. It'd feel wrong not giving him that opportunity at least "Hey, you just want free access to my concerts!"

"No way." The guy shot her down way too quickly. It hurt Ai a little bit.

"You could at least pretend to consider it…"

He chuckled at that. It was quiet, almost to the point that Ai might've missed it. But unmistakably it happened, proof that he was enjoying their little meaningless conversation.

"Guess you're less stressed out?" Ai tried to get a better glimpse of what he was doing, poking at the limit with a hesitant finger. Ready to pull it back.

"Sure." He took another sip of his drink "I think tiredness is catching up to me though."

"Then go to sleep." Ai looked at the hour "It's a bit late, but you gotta start somewhere."

"Will this affect your schedule?" He sounded actually bothered by the idea, which again made her smile.

How could someone be so hard to talk to yet show so much concern for her at the same time? What a strange person.

"I'll just deal with it." Ai shrugged even though he couldn't see her "If something goes wrong, though. I'll let you know."

"You're not making me take responsibility for your actions, are you?"

"What do you mean? We're talking because you can't get your schedule right." Which, now that she thought about it, might not have been such a bad occurrence after all.

"Right."

"Plus, the company is nice." Ai didn't know if she meant it or simply wanted to get more opportunities to dissect his behavior. But that didn't matter at the moment "Thanks for your time."

"…I'm the one talking to Ai-chan." He replied after some awkward silence.

"Yes, you are. I sure hope I'm making your night a bit better!"

"Eh, it's alright." Again with the deflection! But Ai was getting used to it by now.

"Please leave a review. Make sure to give me five stars and I'll get you something nice~." Ah, speaking of… "By the way. Will you come to my concert? We're performing soon."

"I don't think I should." Came his reply a bit too quickly for her liking.

"C'mon, I'll get you a meet and greet pass~."

"Thank you, Hoshino. But no." His tone went back to that cold one he'd used at the hospital "It's really kind of you, but I'm not well enough to go."

"Well, it's not so soon that…"

"Thank you." He repeated himself "But it's better if it doesn't happen."

"…"

"Too many people, too many eyes. The loudness, the light…" He kept talking after a moment of awkwardness. Like he'd realized she was really looking forward to it "I'll cheer for you from here."

"…Thanks."

The silence was no longer comfortable.

"I don't mind seeing you." He added after a bit, when Ai was about to end the call "Just please don't make me go somewhere with a huge crowd."

"…"

"Hoshino?"

"Fine. I'll take it. But you have to let me call you now." Ai stated after a moment.

"Eh?"

"I'm trying to be a part of your life, Hikigaya-san." Ai pursed her lips with some annoyance "It's fine if you don't care for what I do, but please give me something."

"You don't have to do that." He replied with some confusion.

"I'm doing it because I want to, not because I have to." She didn't understand that comment. What of her actions looked like something outside of her ability to make decisions "I think you could use a friend that listens to you."

"I have friends."

"Did you tell them you were hurt?"

"…"

"You haven't told them?"

"I mean…"

"Plus, I…"

"Fine. I can go to your concert." He sounded somewhat annoyed "Just don't look down on me like that."

Ai pressed her lips. It felt as though he'd revealed something that made everything else click. She just couldn't put her finger on it…

No. She could, it's just that she didn't want to think about him in that context. She'd been down to her luck before, so that had to be different.

Why did it feel like he thought the world was out to hurt him?

"You're so rude…" Ai trailed off "It's like you get nervous around me. And not in the cute and fun way."

"Awkwardness is neither fun nor cute." He replied with more calmness now.

"It can be." Ai assured him.

"The real thing is not." He assured her back.

"I wouldn't know."

"You wouldn't." He sighed more bitterly this time "I'll listen to you this time, I'll hit the bed now."

"…Good night, Hikigaya-san." Ai had no expression nor warmth in her tone when she spoke. It felt as though she'd failed again.

"Rest well, Hoshino." He sounded bitter too, ready to cut the call off as soon as physically possible "I'll, ummm, let's plan this out later. Okay?"

Ai wanted to turn him down, but his tone felt more familiar than she wanted to admit.

It dripped with loneliness.

"Yeah, good idea." She caressed her face, not really knowing what to think anymore "I think I'm really tired too."

It was a lie, of course. And his was one too. But pulling back like this, making up an excuse, felt a lot more natural. Giving reasons to agree to let things slide later on, like water under a bridge that wasn't going to be used because they didn't have the equipment.

She couldn't reach him. But it felt as though they were both acknowledging the fact. Giving each other a chance to try again.

And Hoshino Ai is someone that takes opportunities no matter what.