Chapter 63: The Jareds

Monday, January 2nd, Evening

The sun was down and the unseasonable cold still gripped the city. She looked in on her young daughter, the nanny had the day off. Smiling at the sleeping child, she gently closed the door and walked down the hall. She entered her own little room and placed the baby monitor on the desk.

Kat took a deep breath, held if for a moment or two. After releasing the breath, she reached over and picked up her old acoustic guitar and set it on her knee. She preferred to play bass, but she also knew how to play guitar. Slowly, she strummed a bit at the strings. The chords were fandom for the longest bit.

Sighing, she spun in her swivel chair and looked out the window. Out in the darkness, beyond the trees was the Atlantic Ocean. The calming water, and not far from here was also the river banks.

It was a seaside hotel, Kat remembered, on a white sand beach. To end it all, why do people always head to the ocean when they want to end it all?

"Hey that sounds good," came the voice of her husband from the door.

Kat looked up from her guitar, towards the door. Arne nodded, with a slight smile. Kat canted her head.

"Just playing around," Kat said.

Arne nodded, "If I remember, correctly, that was how She's My Sin came about," he said, and chuckled, "and Raya."

Kat gave him a look, "Funny," she said.

Arne shrugged, "I try," he said.

"Still too young for Dad Jokes," Kat said.

"I'm a dad though," Arne said.

Kat laughed, "That's true," she said.

"So, what are you playing?" Arne asked.

Kat shrugged, and sighed, "Just playing, a bit," she said.

"You usually play when something is on your mind," Arne said.

Kat nodded, "That's true," she said, "It's called being creative."

"Now who's being sarcastic?" Arne asked.

Kat shook her head, "Maybe," she said, and sighed, "I'm not ready to talk about it."

Arne nodded, "That's your right," he said, "Just remember when you're ready, I always have an ear to listen."

Kat nodded, and sighed, again, "I know, Arne, it's just, well, a lot of it is me," she said.

Arne nodded, "Is that like in a break-up, it's not you, it's me line?" he asked.

Kat shook her head, "Not in this case, just been a lot over the last few years, and I think it's coming to a head," she said.

"Why now?" Arne asked.

Kat moved her head left to right, "I don't know, but I wish I did," she said.

Arne sighed, "Can I help? In any way," he asked.

"No," Kat said, "Not right now. I have to figure it out myself."

"Well, if you need to talk," Arne said.

"I know, I appreciate it too, Arne," Kat said, "Believe me, I wish you could help, right now. I'm just not ready."

"Well, I'm here for you," Arne said.

Before Kat could respond to the Baby Monitor broken in. Kat sighed, heavily, and looked at the device. She heard their daughter crying. Shaking her head, she put down her guitar and headed out of the room. Arne followed behind his wife.

"What's wrong with Raya?" Arne asked.

"I wish I knew," Kat said.

"She normally doesn't cry like that," Arne said.

Kat nodded, "I know," she said, turned into their daughter's room and turned on the light.

"Mama, mne strashno," Raya said.

Kat walked over to her, and stroked her hair, "Vse v poryadke, mama, zdes'. Pochemu ty napugana?" she asked.

"What's wrong, Kat?" Arne asked.

Kat held up a finger, telling him to hold one minute.

"U menya byl plokhoy son," Raya said.

"I wish you two would speak English," Arne said.

"Raya, pozhaluysta, govori po-angliyski dlya papy," Kat said.

"Khorosho," Raya said.

"Tell Papa, what's wrong," Kat said.

Raya nodded and looked up at Arne. Kat noticed she inherited her Dad's eyes. "I had a bad dream, Papa," she said.

Arne walked over to his daughter and hugged her. "It's okay, Raya," Arne said.

"I'm scared," Raya said.

Arne and Kat looked at their daughter. "What scared you?" Kat asked.

"A scary circus with ghosts," Raya said.

"A ghost circus?" Kat asked.

Raya nodded, "Yeah," she said, in an innocent child's voice.

"Where did you see something like that?" Arne asked.

"Tay," Raya said.

"I see," Arne said.

Kat held Raya close and rocked her a bit. "It's okay, Mama is here," she said.

Arne nodded, "A scary ghost circus?" he asked.

Raya nodded. Kat looked at her husband, "That's what she said, Arne," Kat said.

Kat laid Raya down and started humming to her. Arne walked out of the room thinking. Kat looked at the door and shook her head.

Kat turned back and looked at her daughter. She stroked Raya's blonde hair. Kat kept stroking her hair and kept humming to sooth her from the aftermath of a bad dream.

Finally, Kat recognized what she was humming. It was the melody of a song her Babushka would sing to her and Alix. The words slowly came to her, they were so visual, that she could see them at the back of her eyes.

Kat's heart sank, with the touring, she wasn't home every night. She missed the nights tucking Raya in, the way Babushka use to do to her and Alix when they were little girls. Raya wasn't as fortunate, as Kat toured, and her grandma, Kat's mom, had passed away when Kat was around Raya's age.

In that second Kat made her choice. She licked her lips and took a deep breath. Kat stopped her humming and started singing the same lullaby that her Babushka sang to her.

(Kat singing in italics)

Spi, mladenets moy prekrasnyy,

Bayushki-bayu.

Tikho smotrit mesyats yasnyy

V kolybel' tvoyu.

Stanu skazyvat' ya skazki,

Pesenku spoyu;

Ty zh dremli, zakryvshi glazki,

Bayushki-bayu.

Sam uznayesh', budet vremya,

Brannoye zhit'ye;

Smelo vdenesh' nogu v stremya

I voz'mesh' ruzh'ye.

YA sedel'tse boyevoye

Shelkom razosh'yu...

Spi, ditya moye rodnoye,

Bayushki-bayu.

Bogatyr' ty budesh' s vidu

I kazak dushoy.

Provozhat' tebya ya vyydu —

Ty makhnesh' rukoy...

Skol'ko gor'kikh slez ukradkoy

YA v tu noch' prol'yu!..

Spi, moy angel, tikho, sladko,

Bayushki-bayu.

Stanu ya toskoy tomit'sya,

Bezuteshno zhdat';

Stanu tselyy den' molit'sya,

Po nocham gadat';

Stanu dumat', chto skuchayesh'

Ty v chuzhom krayu...

Spi zh, poka zabot ne znayesh',

Bayushki-bayu.

Dam tebe ya na dorogu Obrazok svyatoy:

Ty yego, molyasya bogu,

Stav' pered soboy;

Da, gotovyas' v boy opasnyy,

Pomni mat' svoyu...

Spi, mladenets moy prekrasnyy,

Bayushki-bayu

Raya returned to sleep. Kat walked out of the bedroom, turning out the light. She turned down the hall to returned to her own little room. Arne was waiting for her by the door. Kat smiled at him with a tired smile.

"What were you singing to Raya?" Arne asked, curiously.

"An old cradle song Babushka use to sing to me," Kat said.

"What's it about?" Arne asked.

"Cossacks," Kat said, and shrugged, walking past Arne and back into her small study. Arne shrugged and turned down the hall.

"A ghost circus and a lullaby about Cossacks," he said, as he walked, then he paused, "No way," he said, shook his head and went downstairs.