Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own
Chapter 11: Let's Go Back To the Start
A/N – I am absolutely floored and overwhelmed by the amount of feedback on that last chapter. You readers are so completely supportive and amazing! Sorry for the long delay. I've been experimenting with the 'show don't tell' style of writing so ended up rewriting a lot of the non-dialogue parts. It does not come naturally for me, but hopefully you'll see a difference in this chapter (for the better?). I know a lot of you voted for me to keep this chapter un-split, but I figured with a choice between getting half of it now (still almost 14K words), or having to wait another week, you'd choose the instant gratification. Am I right?
A/N2 – Forget all about the wacky Duncan dreams for now. In this chapter, he gets a flashback. Don't take this to mean that Duncan is awake. He is still very much out of it. Let's just think of this as a 'dreaming flashback', where everything in it can be considered reliable backstory, rather than dream imagery. Sorry for changing the rules, but I've been wanting to post this flashback for a long time, and didn't want to have to withhold it until he woke up. This is the first flashback I wrote for this story, and all other flashbacks and backstory were based on the story I'm telling here.
So what am I saying? Even if you typically don't like the Duncan stuff, I'd highly recommend reading this one. It'll answer some of those questions I've left intentionally vague (have to keep you guys coming back somehow, right?).
Previously:
Veronica is hired to find evidence of who's dealing meth at the community park. She determines that the culprit is Ciaran Fitzpatrick, one of those seven-year seniors responsible for the disappearance of Gustavio Toombs (Reaper Gus), but is distracted by the appearance of Logan and Duncan at the park allowing C FitzP to sneak up on her. He drags her to a fenced maintenance building where he attacks and attempts to rape her, until Logan and Duncan show up. After fainting from asphyxiation, V wakes to find that Duncan has gone Hulk Smash, and C FitzP has exited the land of the living in a rather bloody manner. Duncan has exited the land of reality in a less dramatic fashion - he's catatonic.
Logan decides to take Duncan and run, and Veronica agrees to help him plan, calling Weevil for assistance. Weevil arrives and after finding out that Ciaran is the dead man, insists that all three of them go on the run, because Liam is about to go homicidal. He provides a vehicle and identities for the three, and they take off heading East.
By dumb luck, Danny Boyd comes across Logan at a truck stop and calls Liam to report in. Veronica manages to rescue him. Exhausted and driving through a very rural area of Western Texas, L&V have a hard time finding a motel to crash at for the night. They finally settle for the first motel they've seen in hours, not sure when they'll come across another one. The next morning, Veronica runs across Liam FitzP coming out of the motel office with pictures of the three. He chases, and Logan steps up to protect V. A brutal fight ensues, but meth heads feel no pain. Finally, L/V manage to restrain Liam, but not as securely as they would hope to.
After dealing with their battle wounds, Veronica tells Logan she has a plan.
Oh, and L/V kinda, sorta, maybe, don't super hate each other anymore.
Logan – Day Three – Interstate 20 – Somewhere in Texas
The unchanging scenery outside of the window of the Explorer led Logan to suspect he had been driving on a giant treadmill for the past two hours. Texas presented the same sandy brown earth as Arizona and New Mexico, with the occasional patches of green sprinkled at the side of the road. Every so often, Logan would catch himself almost hypnotized, tracing the power lines with his eyes as they dipped from one pole to the next, and had to force himself to look away.
His best friend Duncan sat in the passenger seat staring blankly off into space – dreaming of sugarplums, or dead sisters, or Veronica, or any one of a million possibilities.
But probably not Shelly Pomroy.
Only the blowing of the air conditioning broke the silence in the truck. Logan had always required constant stimulation, and the forced inactivity was making him stir crazy. He craved conversation. A good argument would be even better. He craved entertainment. He craved…something.
Maybe Veronica?
"So Duncan, plan on snapping out of it today?" He asked, surprised at the bitterness of his own voice. "I could really use the company."
Plucking his handy ink pen out of the blower vent, he began twirling it through the fingers of his right hand.
"Come on D.K. Pull yourself together. This entire trip was about you - keeping you safe, alive and out of jail. You should at least wake up to thank me."
With a sigh, Logan turned on the stereo to break the stifling silence. He hit the scan button, listening with only half his attention as the radio cycled through country songs, religious music, and a particularly rousing accordion version of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'.
His thoughts kept returning to a pesky blonde detective. The past three days had been…interesting…to say the least. Although any true animosity he'd borne for Veronica had dissipated months earlier, never would he have predicted he would end up playing the role of her fiancé. Thoughts of Veronica assaulted his senses – the feel of his lips touching her cheek, the sensation of her body sleeping snugly against him, the silky texture and subtle scent of her hair, the vision of her eyes locking onto his.
The words 'Neptune, California' issuing from the radio pulled Logan out of his reverie and back to the present.
Radio Broadcast:
Reporter: We're in Neptune, CA awaiting Kane Industries founder and CEO Jake Kane, who is scheduled to make a formal statement any moment now.
DJ: What's the scene like there?
Reporter: To be honest, I would expect this kind of press turnout for the President of the United States, rather than the president of a software company.
DJ: What is it about this story that is captivating the nation so much?
Reporter:(laughs) In a word: Everything. We have a beautiful young girl and two handsome young men. As the product of America's favorite Hollywood marriage, we've watched Logan Echolls grow up from a bald and chubby infant to a somewhat troubled, but very charismatic young man. The country grieved with the Kane family when they lost their only daughter one year ago. Then we have the story of a brave young girl trying to take down drug dealers in her neighborhood…we have the mafia…A daring rescue that went way too far…A restored friendship after a long estrangement...A Romeo and Juliet – if stories are true about the feud between the Kanes and the Mars…Or a love triangle, if those stories are true…and overlying it all is the ghost of the enigmatic Lilly Kane.
Okay, Jake Kane has arrived with his wife Celeste. An extremely tall African American man, who appears to be a friend of the family, accompanies them.
[Several seconds of silence pass while Jake Kane prepares to speak.]
Jake Kane: I would like to thank everybody for being here today. I have prepared a statement, however, we are declining to answer questions today. I ask that you respect the wishes of my wife and myself and refrain from asking any.
[Several more seconds of silence pass.]
Jake Kane: We sincerely regret the tragic events that occurred three days ago, and would like to offer our condolences to the mother of Ciaran Fitzpatrick for her loss. Regardless of the violent act that Mr. Fitzpatrick was committing at his time of death, we unfortunately, understand the unbearable pain of losing a child.
Jake Kane: I would like to start by saying that my son Duncan is a great kid. He is kind, well mannered, down-to-earth, and has never been in trouble a day in his life. He plays sports, and was 2-time all-league soccer. He's editor of the Neptune Navigator. He has a 3.924 grade point average. He's in the National Honor Society and is a National Merit semi-finalist. With all of those accomplishments, there is one thing about my son that nobody knows.
Jake Kane (taking an audible breath):Duncan suffers from Temporal Lobe Epilepsy*. Recurrent episodes of aggression are a rare, but well-documented problem in patients with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, and are referred to as 'Episodic Discontrol Syndrome'. After studying the original video footage with experts, we believe that Duncan was suffering from a complex partial seizure at the time of the incident. These seizures can affect the temporal lobe that produces inappropriate behavior such as swearing, hysterical laughter, and violent outbursts. We believe that Duncan's seizure was brought on by witnessing the attempted rape of his first girlfriend, Veronica. Duncan has suffered from these types of seizures several times in the past, but it was being successfully managed with medication. After counting Duncan's remaining pills, we believe he stopped taking his medication almost a week ago.
Jake Kane: When my daughter Lilly died, Duncan lapsed into a catatonic state that lasted for four days. After studying the community park's video footage, we believed that Duncan lapsed into a similar state immediately following the incident of three days ago. The footage shows him staring unblinkingly and rhythmically rocking. He exhibited these same behaviors during his previous bout of catatonia. Three days ago when my wife and myself saw him in Logan's vehicle, he did not acknowledge our existence.
Jake Kane: It is our belief that Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars took Duncan away in a misguided attempt to protect him from prosecution. I hesitate to call it kidnapping – We have known Logan since he was five, Veronica since…her entire life. They are both like family to us, but Duncan did not have the presence of mind to make that decision for himself.
Jake Kane: Logan, Veronica, if you're listening, I'm sure you think you're doing what's best for Duncan. However, you are not. Duncan needs to come home immediately so that he can get the medical attention he requires. I beg you to bring Duncan home, or at the least, drop him off at a hospital so that he can receive medical care.
Jake Kane: That is all I have for you today. Thank you for attending.
Reporter: It looks like Jake Kane is sticking to his word about not taking any questions.
[Reporters yell questions in the background: "Mr. Kane, tell us about your feud with Keith Mars." "Mr. Kane was Ciaran Fitzpatrick connected to your daughter's murder?" "Mr. Kane, is it true that Duncan and Veronica have reunited and are dating again?"]
Reporter:Oh, wait! He's heading back to the podium.
Jake Kane: I will answer only the one question. My son and Veronica Mars are NOT dating again. Veronica is dating Logan Echolls. They admitted it to me themselves when I talked to them at my home right before they fled town. Thanks again for being here today.
Reporter: Jake Kane and his entourage have left the building. Back to you, Sam.
After stabbing the power button off – more brutally than strictly necessary – Logan paused for a moment, praying that when he turned his head, he would find Duncan looking back at him with clear, intelligent eyes. Had the sound of his Jake's voice infiltrated through Duncan's fog? Would his friend be alert and ready to do his part on this journey? He glanced at Duncan, and returned his attention to the road bitter with disappointment.
"Did you hear, Dunc? Your father just branded Ronnie and me as kidnappers. He wants us to bring you home. Unfortunately, no can do. They think your legal defense is all tied up in a bow, but you need a completely different type of defense."
Defense against crazy Irish meth heads.
"And epilepsy? What did he call it? Temporal lobe epilepsy?" He sighed. Could things get any worse? "Why didn't you ever tell me, man? I wouldn't have judged you. I would have at least thought to grab your meds before we left." Possibly. Where do they keep his prescriptions? The bathroom? The kitchen?
Logan shivered and turned off the A.C. Even at the lowest setting, he imagined were he to cup his hands, he would see his breath. He had always preferred to be warm.
"I'm kind of surprised your family let your 'dirty little secret' out. I guess this means they've prioritized your defense over forcing you into the White House. This is good, right?"
On the side of the road, a strange animal resembling a giant potato bug caught his eye. He raised an eyebrow. Only in Texas.
"Speaking of dirty little secrets…Don't you think it's odd how your father rushed back up to the podium to insist that you hadn't reunited with Veronica after he'd already finished his statement? Why would he do that?"
Is he afraid of the public believing that Duncan is dating Veronica? Or does he want the world to believe Veronica is with me, and if so, how does that benefit the Kanes? No, that doesn't feel right. At the Kane house, when I claimed to be Veronica's boyfriend, he'd looked…as if he didn't love the idea...as if she were lowering herself, like Lilly had.
Logan rolled down the window to cycle out the stale air and let in the fresh. For the briefest moment, he caught the ghost of Veronica's perfume and inhaled.
"Your dad doesn't want you with Veronica, does he? The week you broke up, you were brought in to the hospital kicking and screaming Veronica's name, and they had to straightjacket you to calm you down. Then, later the same week, I had to pull you off your father before you strangled him."
Logan's eyes roamed the front of the truck momentarily…searching…until falling upon Veronica's black hoodie hanging from the back of Duncan's seat - which he deftly snatched up before returning his attention to the road.
"You know what I think? I think he forced you to dump her. Didn't he? What kind of leverage could he have over you to possibly force you to give up Veronica Mars?"
Keeping his eyes on the highway, Logan buried the lower half of his face in the hoodie and breathed in. Yes…this is where the scent came from. Promises. The only perfume he had ever known Veronica to wear – the slightest whiff of which did crazy things to his heart. In fact, months ago, while at the mall to pick up Final Fantasy XI, a girl had literally led him around by the nose. When he'd stepped in line behind her at Orange Julius, her scent instantly had him on alert. Within moments, he had identified the perfume, and a moment later, he made the connection to Veronica. After being handed her drink, the girl – an average-in-every-possible-way brunette – walked away, and Logan found himself missing the scent - wanting to smell it again. He'd searched until he'd located her – walking slowly past Victoria's Secret, pretending not to be interested in the merchandise inside – and fell in behind her, keeping pace with her at a speed uncomfortably slow for his long legs. He followed, allowing images of Veronica to worm their way into his consciousness – memories of her the way she used to be and visions of her the way she was now. After several minutes, when the girl's posture stiffened and her eyes lingered on his reflection in the shop windows, he realized how crazy he must appear and turned away. He stopped at Macy's en route to his truck and purchased the smallest-sized bottle of Promises. The perfume had been tucked in his top dresser drawer ever since, next to a small bottle of Lilly's perfume – how Lilly would have loved that. He was glad that Veronica hadn't changed her perfume when she'd changed her hair and clothing and shoes. Somehow, the scent fit so perfectly with both versions of Veronica – the dark, cynical new Veronica, and the more optimistic Veronica from years past.
Logan stared at the horizon for a moment, took a deep breath, and then spoke again. "I almost kissed her, Duncan. Well technically, she was about to kiss me, and I had no intention of stopping her."
Duncan didn't respond.
"I did stop her. At the last second. I made some stupid comment and she came to her senses, but the thing is, this keeps happening. Every time I turn around, we're on the verge of kissing."
He took his eyes off the road to search Duncan's face for any reaction: an eye twitch, a clenched jaw? Murderous rage, perhaps? Nothing.
"I'm talking about Veronica Mars here, DK. The girl you" -We- "have loved since Junior High. Doesn't that make you mad enough to wake up?"
"It's obvious you still love her. You need to wake up Duncan, and fight for her." Logan said, shaking Duncan's shoulder. "Fight for her, or I'm going to take her from you."
Duncan did not clench his fists. He didn't strike Logan over the head with a blunt object. His arms hung limply at his sides, his fingers slack.
Not like I stand a chance in hell with Veronica, but Duncan would believe I do. Anything to get him to check back in.
"What do you think, Duncan? Bet you want to wake up and kick my ass, dontcha?"
"Do it, Duncan." Logan yelled. "Wake up and kick my ass for thinking about stealing your dream girl."
Logan drove in silence for several minutes remembering Veronica as she had been at the motel, stretched out on her stomach in her bra while he'd cleaned her scrapes. While he'd run his fingers along her rose petal soft skin.
"You should have seen the way she responded to being touched, DK. She practically trembled everywhere my fingers brushed her skin. Nobody touches her anymore. She's not used to it. She seemed as if she...I don't know...craved it?"
He buried his nose in the hoodie, managing to keep his eyes on the road.
"And I want to touch her again, Duncan. I want to run my fingers all over that white skin. Down her arms. Up her legs. Over her stomach. I want to make her shiver some more, and I want to look into her eyes while I do it."
One more glance at Duncan confirmed what he'd expected. Not even the controversial statement he'd just made was enough to bust him out of his fog. He replaced the hoodie to where he'd found it and reached for the stack of CD's Veronica had picked out at Target, flipping through them several times before making a selection. He inserted The Killers CD.
"Duncan, you need to wake up and stop me. Stake your claim. Mark your territory. Do whatever you have to do."
He rubbed at the back of his head, his voice dropping in level and confidence, sounding dejected. "I...uh...I'm still not good enough for her - even this 'darker' version of her…So if you still love her at all, you'll wake up to keep her out of my clutches. I'm kind of despicable, DK. I've hurt her, started rumors about her, destroyed her property and I don't even regret doing it. I enjoyed doing it. Veronica needs somebody like you."
"She needs the cowboy, not the outlaw."
After another minute of thought, Logan chuckled. "Who am I kidding? She's no helpless damsel. She's an outlaw like me."
She used to be so much like Duncan. Now she is a lot more like me. Vengeful, cynical, dark.
"Well...I guess we're all outlaws now. Fine Duncan, your loss. You're only going to have yourself to blame when I…"
When I what?
"But first...we need to find her."
He laughed bitterly when "Mr. Brightside" came on, and cranked up the volume. Somebody would be painfully identifying with this song before this was all over.
He just wasn't sure which one to root for.
Bullshit.
"You know what? Fuck that, Duncan! Fuck everything I just said. Yeah, I want you to wake up, and if you want to hit me, that's fine. I'll welcome it. But don't you dare fight for her. You had your chance, and you fucking blew it. I might not deserve her, but you don't either, anymore, so don't' think I'm going to step aside so easily this time."
Duncan – Flashback – August, 2000 – October, 2003
Duncan is twelve – almost thirteen – when he first meets Veronica Mars. His mom, driving away in her Jag to stay at the Napa house for the weekend, has for once, loosened her chokehold on him enough to allow him to stay home with his father.
Taking advantage of her absence, Duncan is guiding his remote-control helicopter through the upstairs hallway. His steady hands and unwavering focus allow him to navigate the corners and straights without ever touching the walls. The steady hum of the blades relaxes him as he experiments with flying near the ceiling, and then near the floor. Having mastered high flying, he attempts to fly evenly with the chair rail. He is so engrossed in manipulating the chopper's controls, that he doesn't hear Lilly's bedroom door open. He doesn't even register her presence in the hallway until she is screaming at him.
"What the hell, you stupid freak?" she shrieks.
"Sorry, Lil, I didn't know you were—"he starts.
"You could have ripped all of my hair out with that thing."
Duncan wants to point out that her hair was in no danger. He hadn't been flying high enough, but she is already storming off down the hallway. He turns to watch her go, evaluating different options for earning her forgiveness. So absorbed is he in his thoughts, that the sound of a voice behind him startles him and causes him to jump.
"You shouldn't let her speak to you that way."
Duncan turns to face the speaker standing in Lilly's bedroom doorway. A tiny girl even smaller than Lilly, stands with her hands on her hips. Her long, golden blond hair drapes freely on her pink and green striped polo, while her blue-green eyes regard him stubbornly.
"Who are you?" He asks, amused.
"Veronica. Veronica Mars." She reaches for Duncan's hand and gives it a firm shake. "And you're Duncan Kane, obviously."
"Lilly's best friend?"
"The one and only." She answers, proudly.
So this was the elusive Veronica Mars. He has been hearing about her since he was seven, but today is his first time meeting her in the flesh. He would wonder if Lilly had made her up if he hadn't heard his parents arguing about her before. For some reason, his mother disapproves of the friendship and does not want Veronica at the house. His father, on the other hand, insists that Lilly and Veronica should be friends and spend as much time as they want together. He always chauffeurs them on their outings.
Duncan hasn't had any school exposure to Veronica either. That will change in the fall when he transfers to the public middle school. It's been an ordeal getting his parents to agree to withdraw him from the exclusive private school he's been attending since kindergarten, but with Logan now expelled for that firecracker incident, Duncan has no desire to go back. Lilly has attended public school for years - ever since being thrown out of Wellington - so why shouldn't he? Logan has been working on his parents to buy a house inside Neptune City limits, so with any luck, they will be able to attend Neptune Middle School together. Duncan isn't holding his breath – how does a kid ever convince his parents to move? – but Logan thinks if he plays on Aaron's 'fatherly guilt', the chances are good that he'll soon be an official Neptune resident. Duncan doesn't want to think about what school would be like without Logan to help him navigate the social conventions. Duncan never quite understands what people want from him - he would probably be a loner if it weren't for Logan.
Veronica is speaking to him again, and he shakes himself out of his thoughts to pay attention.
"She treats you like that because you allow her to," she's saying.
"She'd be angry at you if she heard you say that." He warns.
"No she wouldn't. She respects me because I don't pander to her. If she acts like a bitch, I call her on it. You should too. She respects people she can't push around."
Duncan smiles nervously at Veronica. "It's not worth it. Lilly can be pretty intense when she's angry."
"She's your sister, not your parent. Treat her with the respect she earns." Her stare is direct and unnerving, and all of a sudden, Duncan wants to be the guy she's urging him to be.
Lilly returns to the hallway, and Duncan tenses up. So much for good intentions.
"Ugh, Veronica. Why are you talking to him?"
"Because I'm in his home, because he's being perfectly nice to me, and to make up for you acting like a complete bitch." Veronica answers with a smile.
Lilly grins back. "So you think I should be nicer to the Donut?"
"You don't realize how lucky you are to have a sibling." Veronica says. "It sucks being an only child."
"OK, Veronica. I'll behave. Donut, you want to hang out with us while we try on make-up?" The wicked gleam in her eyes warns him to decline - or else.
"I...um...better get going. It was a pleasure meeting you, Veronica."
"You too Duncan." Veronica smiles back.
Duncan thinks about Veronica constantly in the weeks to follow. He has never known anybody – besides Logan – brave enough to stand up to Lilly. Plus, he has never met a cuter girl.
Duncan has never had a girlfriend, and up until now, he's never wanted one. Not that he hasn't had any offers – he's Logan Echolls' best friend after all. Several girls – realizing that Logan is never going to bring them chocolate and draw their names in a heart on his notebooks – have turned their eyes to his kind and soft-spoken best friend. Duncan politely brushes-off each of them, claiming a mystery girlfriend in Neptune, while Logan shakes his head in disappointment.
"What is your deal, DK? You could have at least gotten a b.j. out of her." Logan asks him, as if he's crazy.
Duncan shudders at the idea of ever letting somebody do something so…nasty…to him. How can he explain it to Logan? He likes girls. In fact, he really likes Hillary Duff and Kirsten Storms. But he doesn't like the girls at his school. He's not looking to earn sexual experience. He wants a nice girl who won't rush into anything.
The girls at the Donovan Wellington Academy – already bored and jaded at twelve, thirteen, fourteen years old – have traded in their innocence. They all carry the latest handbags. They all wear the finest shoes with their uniforms. In a world where daddy's money can buy them almost anything, the only thing left to compete for is male attention – and Logan Echolls is at the top of the food chain. Veronica Mars, on the other hand, has an innocence to her eyes that Duncan cannot help but be drawn to. This is the kind of girl who wouldn't ridicule him if he only wanted to hold hands for a while until he was more comfortable.
Two minutes in a hallway with Veronica tells Duncan that she carries herself with a down-to-earth ease, and she is not afraid to laugh at herself. The girls at school walk around with – to quote Logan – gold-plated sticks up their asses.
While his schoolmates would crush someone at the mere sign of weakness, Veronica stuck up for him to Lilly when she didn't have to. This tells Duncan that she – like him – is the type to champion an underdog. He thinks they would fit very well together.
He just cannot get her out of his thoughts.
It's a month before school begins. Logan has managed to pull off his miracle - one week ago, the Echolls family closed on an estate only a five-minute bike ride from Duncan's house. Logan will be attending public school with him. Duncan is excited at the prospect of hanging out more often. Logan is excited because he has already worked his way through the girls at Wellington, and public school brings a whole new dating pool.
Logan is over playing video games when Jake comes in to remind Duncan of his soccer game.
"You need a lift home?" he asks Logan.
Logan gives a half-shudder at the idea of going home. "Um...no, Mr. Kane, would you mind if I came along with you? I can sit on the stands and while Duncan plays."
Jake is fine with that, but suggests Logan might want to borrow one of Duncan's short-sleeved shirts.
"It is August out there," he jokes.
Logan thanks him for the offer, but declines the loan of a shirt.
They arrive at the community park a bit early, so a game is still in progress - girls' soccer.
Duncan sits on the team bench to lace on his cleats, pulling and adjusting the laces until the fit is perfect. When he looks back up, Logan is staring mesmerized at the field. Amused at the idea that anything could captivate his cynical friend, Duncan follows the path of Logan's eyes, coming to rest on a tiny blonde dynamo in pigtails that appears to be doing all of the work on her team.
Veronica Mars.
All amusement fades from Duncan's face as a sensation of dread forms in the pit of his stomach. There is no way he can compete with Logan. Logan has already done things with girls. Sexual things. Duncan barely works up the nerve to speak to them.
For several minutes, Duncan stands next to Logan, in silence. He sees, but does not process what is happening on the field, as his awareness keeps returning to Logan, whose eyes are riveted intently on Veronica. For once, Logan is not narrating a perverted play-by-play culminating with all of the girls ripping their shirts off in victory and rolling around together in the mud. Logan is not ranking the girls by chest size, or legs, or butt. This in itself is newsworthy. The fact that Logan is not fidgeting is astonishing. Logan is absolutely still and utterly absorbed with Veronica.
As the game ends, Logan steps back and affects an air of nonchalance. Duncan isn't fooled. He knows Logan well enough to sense how keyed-up he is.
Logan shifts, as if to take a step in Veronica's direction, and then hesitates, sinking back on his heels. Duncan would laugh if he weren't dying on the inside.
Veronica walks right past them, and again, Logan's posture shifts as if to go after her. He hesitates, and then, as if he's worked up his resolve, lifts a foot to step towards her.
Veronica turns around.
"Duncan Kane." She says, approaching with a smile. "Almost didn't recognize you without the helicopter."
"Veronica Mars." He smiles back.
Veronica, in her soccer uniform, is covered with mud. It splatters her legs, her arms, and even her face, but she is still the prettiest girl Duncan has ever known. He can feel his cheeks warming, but Veronica doesn't notice. She's turned her attention to Logan, and is examining him with interest.
"Who's your friend?" she asks, without looking away from Logan.
"Veronica Mars, Logan Echolls." Duncan says, praying that the car-crash sound of his breaking heart isn't audible.
Veronica reaches out and firmly shakes his hand, while Logan Silvertongue Echolls seems to be tongue-tied for the first time in his life.
"Oh. As in Aaron Echolls?" Veronica asks in a sympathetic, sucks-to-be-you tone of voice.
"You're not a fan of Mr. Echolls?" Duncan asks, surprised. Veronica's eyes return to Duncan, missing the expression of pure adoration that settles over Logan's face.
"Uh...Let's just say I prefer actors with a bit more...subtlety."
She turns back to Logan. "Your father tends to over-emote." Veronica shrugs apologetically.
Logan finally finds his tongue. "Marry me." He demands, a shy grin on his face.
Veronica laughs in delight at his shamelessness. "How about you ask me again in about...oh...ten more years."
"Count on it," Logan replies with a cheeky grin, his charm returning in full force.
Veronica laughs again. "Welcome to Neptune. I'd heard you were moving here."
"Thank you."
"So, have you learned your way around the town yet?"
"No." Logan looks terribly put-out. "They tried to send me some tall, leggy brunette tour guide, when I specifically requested an itty-bitty blonde with knee socks and a muddy face. The nerve of some people!"
Veronica groans and rolls her eyes. "Hmm…that sounds suspiciously like somebody I know. Shall I have my dad drive you around in the back of a cop car?"
"Only if you come too."
"And if I were to wash my face?"
"Deal-breaker." Logan winks at her. "So, dad's a cop?"
"Dad's the sheriff," she corrects with a grin.
"Well then, I'm sure he and I will become well acquainted." Logan smirks.
Duncan cries on the inside. He had thought she was different, but here she was, falling for the Echolls charm like every other girl. "But this is different," he corrects himself, "Because for the first time, Logan is falling for the girl as well."
"Are you planning to join us today, Duncan?" his coach calls out.
"Sure. Be right there," he answers.
"So…I…guess I'll talk to you in a bit," he says. Logan and Veronica barely even register his departure.
Duncan came here to play a game, so he is forced to leave Casanova alone with the only girl he has ever wanted.
He watches them walking together towards the bleachers, Veronica laughing as Logan clowns around. He watches Logan lead her up the bleachers, hand on her back. He watches them laugh, flirt, and…bond? He does all of this watching of Logan and Veronica, while he is supposed to be watching the ball. His team members are beginning to get annoyed, but there will always be other games. There is only one Veronica Mars.
Somehow, Duncan's team manages to pull off a win despite his lack of effort, and he joins Logan and Veronica on the sidelines. Logan notices Duncan's approach and appears to be studying Duncan's face.
"Looks like my mom's finally here. I better get going." Veronica says. "Great game, Duncan. And nice meeting you, Logan. You are so much more than I expected."
"More what?" Logan looks down at Veronica with his heart in his eyes.
"Just...more." she touches Logan's arm and smiles up at him, eyes shining, before walking away.
Duncan glances at Logan.
"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Logan asks, his eyes locked on Veronica's retreating form.
"Yes." Duncan answers quietly. He experienced it himself weeks earlier with the same girl. Now he has lost all hope. She obviously feels some kind of spark for Logan.
"So...you're going to ask her to be your girlfriend?"
Logan takes forever to answer. "No." He says finally.
"No?" Duncan asks, perplexed. "I thought you were talking about Veronica with that love at first sight question?"
"I was, but it doesn't matter. I can't go out with her."
When he doesn't elaborate, Duncan has to ask. "Why not?"
"She's too good for me, man." Logan says.
"How can you say that?" Duncan asks. "All of the girls want to be with you. You even made out with Lisa Loper at your dad's party. She's like the hottest teen star ever."
"Don't bring up Lisa Loper again." Logan's voice is ice cold.
"Um…why? You were the one who told me about it." Duncan is confused.
"Just forget about it. I have."
"But how is Veronica too good for you?"
Logan sighs. "Veronica Mars – even covered in mud – is shiny and clean and pure. Remember when I went out with Taylor Spencer last year?"
"Yeah?"
"Remember what she was like before I dated her?"
"Sweet, innocent, kind of like Veronica." Duncan says, remembering the pretty transfer student, as she was when she'd first arrived at Wellington.
"And after I dated her?"
"She's just like all of the other girls now. Kind of slutty. I've heard rumors that she gives handys at lunch in the woods." Duncan admits.
"Yeah. I did that to her. Not the rumors, but the sluttiness. I hurt her when I broke up with her, and she starting trying to make me jealous with other guys. Same with Ally Maine. I ruin everything I touch." Logan says.
Duncan has never seen Logan like this before. The Logan he knows has a devil-may-care spirit. He doesn't show regret over the girls. He doesn't show regret over anything. He takes what he wants, consequences-be-damned. But Duncan senses that something has been bothering Logan for weeks.
Ever since he got out of the hospital for that four-wheeler accident...
"You can't mean that." Duncan says. "You don't ruin things. Well…there was that firecracker thing, but…"
"It's true. If I tried to go out with Veronica, I would corrupt her and ruin everything that makes her so perfect. Does that make sense to you?"
He kind of agrees with Logan, but shakes his head in the negative.
"I decided after Taylor to only go out with girls that come to me pre-corrupted. I don't want to be responsible for messing up any more girls."
"Logan?"
"I'm not good like you are, Duncan. Well, it doesn't matter. It's obvious you have a thing for her too. You're the guy she should be with. Not me."
Duncan froze. He thought he'd done so well hiding his jealousy.
"I'm that obvious?"
"You won the game, but came off the field looking like somebody kicked your puppy. Looking like I kicked your puppy. What else could it be?"
The weight on Duncan's chest eases. Logan's not going to swoop in and take Veronica.
The weight on his chest returns. Duncan has often felt inferior in his life, and doesn't like the idea of Logan suffering from the same pain. How can Logan possibly think he's not good enough for her?
"Logan, you should go out with her. If you're so worried about corrupting her, then you should just try really hard not to do it."
Logan smiles sadly. "It's not that simple. We're on completely different levels. I'm too old for my age. She's too young. Just sitting there next to her, she was like this…bright light of perfection, and I'm like this dark cloud of dirty. All I could see was me contaminating her."
The two boys have been best friends since kindergarten, but he suddenly wonders if he has ever really known the real Logan.
The Logan Duncan knows is reckless and immature, and too confident for his own good. He doesn't acknowledge – let alone dwell – on the feelings of others.
The Logan he's speaking to right now is self-aware and truthful, regretful, and old beyond his years. Something about his words comes across as too ingrained to be newly hatched thoughts.
This isn't a shift in Logan's attitude, this is a shift in Logan's mask. A mask that Duncan never even knew existed until now.
"You wouldn't." Duncan answers unconvincingly.
"It came up while we were talking, how many people have hit on me, and she looked completely repulsed. Imagine if she knew that some have had varying degrees of success. Thanks to dear old dad." He looks off into the distance for a moment, disgust plainly written across his features.
"Logan! Stop!" Duncan interrupts. Logan has often complained of being the target of Aaron's "spillover". It's not a conversation Duncan enjoys taking part in.
"See? It even weirds you out. I should feel like a complete badass for having experience with girls, but I'd trade it all to be on the same wavelength as that one girl." He stops for a moment, clearly surprised at his own admission. "…There's just something about her..." He looks wistful as he stares at the last place he'd seen Veronica before she'd driven away with her mother.
"Yeah..." Duncan agrees. "Something about her."
Logan snaps out of his daze and looks at Duncan again. "You, on the other hand, are completely on her level.
"Logan—"
"You've rejected every single girl who has ever shown any interest in you. I was beginning to worry, to be honest. But FINALLY, there's a girl who you like. I can't stand in the way of that."
"The same goes for you, Logan…" Just because Logan has gone out with a lot of girls, doesn't mean he actually liked them very much.
"Ask her out, Duncan"
"I can't…" Duncan starts.
"You can. And do it quickly, before I forget that I want to be a nice guy for once."
Several weeks have passed since that day at the community park. By silent agreement, Duncan and Logan have not discussed Veronica since. Celeste is at the Napa house again, and when Duncan invites Logan over, he has no idea that Lilly is having Veronica over to celebrate her birthday.
Duncan comes outside with a tray of drinks, to find Veronica and Logan sitting together with their feet in the pool. Diagonally across the pool from them, he can see their faces in the otherworldly glow from the underwater pool lights, and he hesitates to interrupt, watching the scene play out from the shadows.
Veronica wears cut-off jean shorts and a pale green tee-shirt with a cartoon frog on it. Her hair is back in pigtails again. She's speaking, and Logan is grinning at her as if she were the only girl in the world, but Duncan can't hear her words as they're drowned-out by the fan on the central air unit he's standing near.
Logan says something, and it must be a compliment because Veronica is looking up at him shyly from under her lashes biting her lip. She shakes her head to deny, and Logan grins and nods his head to reaffirm his statement. He says something else, teasingly, and she's smiling again.
Their body language mirrors each other, both with their hands planted on the pool deck near their knees, four fingers curled around the edge of the pool. Duncan notices how both of them secretly extend their pinky fingers towards each other, hoping for contact. He watches Veronica's pinky inch closer to Logan's. She stills for a moment, as Logan tells her something using his other hand to illustrate his point. She smirks and rolls her eyes at whatever he says, and then resumes inching her finger closer. He watches the moment when her pinky closes the distance, 'accidentally' brushing up against Logan's. They both respond as if jolted, Logan inhaling sharply, and Veronica's mystified eyes flicking up to his in question.
In response, Logan curls his finger around hers in an intimate version of a pinky swear. It's not exactly holding hands, but it's an acknowledgement that there is something there between them.
Their eyes play out a similar conversation: question, acknowledgement, satisfaction. Veronica looks down at her lap, a grin of happiness that she cannot quite contain playing at the corners of her lips. Logan mirrors her expression, gazing off into space. Duncan cannot swallow. The lump in his throat is too painful. It's obvious to him that these two belong together. He just wishes Logan hadn't given him any hope. He feels like he's lost her twice now.
Veronica's eyes raise and appear to lock on to Logan's. The tension becomes almost tangible, and this time it is Logan who looks down shyly. Duncan has never seen Logan be anything other than self-assured around girls. Veronica really must have gotten to him. Logan leans in, touches his forehead to Veronica's and says something and suddenly they're both cracking up. Laughing, Logan lifts a hand to brush an escaped strand of hair off Veronica's face, fingers lingering on her cheek. Veronica's eyes are soft and accepting of Logan's touch. His fingers slide down her face to nudge her chin up.
Duncan needs to get the hell out of here. This is obviously a mating dance that he has no business observing. But he hesitates.
As Logan begins leaning towards her, Veronica's eyelids flutter closed.
Duncan's stomach cramps up. Should he casually set down Veronica's lemonade as if it's no big deal, or spin around and take off before they notice his presence?
Too late. Logan catches Duncan in his peripheral vision and looks up. The expression lingering in his eyes – as if he were looking at something rare and precious – fades, to be replaced by an expression of guilt and misery. He opens his mouth as if to say something and then closes it again, clearly frustrated. He jumps up and stalks off without a goodbye.
Approaching, Duncan hands Veronica her glass of lemonade and together they watch Logan walk away.
"Why'd Logan run off like that? I thought we were becoming fr—"Veronica trails off abruptly, and Duncan doesn't have to wonder why.
Logan is passing Lilly on her way out to join them, and without even seeming to think, he grabs her by the wrist, yanks her to him, and shoves his tongue in her mouth. Lilly seems to resist for maybe a millisecond before enthusiastically joining him in the kiss. When Duncan remembers to think, he turns back to Veronica to witness the devastation evident on her face. Her eyes are shiny and one tear runs down her cheek. He knew he hadn't imagined Veronica's feelings for Logan. She really likes him.
Happy Freaking Birthday, Veronica Mars. Welcome to Logan Echolls' world.
Now Logan has put Duncan in a very awkward position. He wants to cheer Veronica up. He wants to tell her that she's the one Logan really wants, if only to make her smile again. But that is the last thing Logan wants him to do, and now Lilly is involved. If he tells Veronica the truth to cheer her up, Lilly will feel hurt and used. The only thing Duncan can do is to pretend not to have seen her devastation. In fact, the tear has been brushed away, and her face is carefully schooled to a blank mask.
Nice birthday present, Logan, you ass. She was expecting her first kiss, and instead you gave her her first broken heart.
He considers the implications of Logan kissing Lilly. Is it a one-time thing? It seems spur of the moment. Will he want to date her now? If Veronica is too good for Logan, what is he trying to say about Lilly? If Logan wrecks everything he touches, why is he touching Duncan's sister? Should he object? Defend his sister? Inside, Duncan hates to admit that Lilly does indeed fit into the 'already corrupted' category. Duncan has caught her more than once, making out with the pool boy. He's even laughed about it with Logan. Will Lilly even want to start something up with Logan? He is hardly scandalous enough to piss off Celeste. Should he encourage a relationship so that the four of them can spend more time together?
Duncan's fears for Lilly turn out to be unnecessary. In the days he spends debating with himself as to whether he approves or objects to Logan and Lilly, they somehow become a real couple. At first, Logan seems to be martyring himself for Veronica's sake. Eventually, Logan genuinely falls in love with Lilly. So what if he occasionally catches Logan's eyes following Veronica a little longer than necessary, Duncan knows his best friend is devoted to his sister.
For Veronica's part, she smiles and pretends to be happy for the couple, but in her unguarded moments, Duncan can see her sadness. She has every right to be hurt and confused. Although Logan hadn't made her any promises, Duncan has personally witnessed him – more than once – looking at Veronica as if she were the answer to his every prayer. How was she supposed to react to that?
Duncan knows he isn't Veronica's first choice, so he can't seem to bring himself to ask her out. He cannot get past the idea that the minute he makes a move, Logan will realize what he's been missing out on all along. It's ridiculous, of course. Lilly has Logan completely wrapped around her finger. Logan treats Veronica like a teasing, annoying older brother - despite the fact that she's older by several months.
However, right before they begin their freshman year of high school, he begins to notice a change between them. Veronica is again looking at Logan with a resigned sadness when she thinks she's not being observed. Logan has recently reunited with Lilly for the hundredth time, but Duncan catches him looking at Veronica with regret in his eyes on more than one occasion. Something shifts in Duncan. Second choice or not, if he doesn't make a move soon, he will never have a shot with Veronica.
When he finally asks Veronica out, her enthusiastic agreement surprises him. It's as if she has been waiting for him to ask her. Has Logan clued her in?
Veronica is his first kiss. He is hers. It is sweet and innocent and pure, and he thinks she is the most perfect girl he has ever known. He knows he never wants to kiss another.
The first time Logan comes across Duncan kissing Veronica, he looks as if he has been punched in the gut. His face exhibits hurt and jealousy and betrayal. He covers it quickly, but not in time for Duncan to un-see it. He has been pushing Duncan to ask Veronica out ever since they met. What does he expect? He has Lilly. He can't have them both! Still, Duncan can't help but feel a little guilty. And guilty for feeling guilty. He's been in love with this girl since he met her. He's done nothing wrong.
Other than that initial glimpse of his jealousy, Logan is supportive of Duncan's relationship with Veronica. Lilly is not. She thinks Veronica can do better. Veronica quickly puts her in her place. Tells her that her opinion on the matter is neither wanted nor welcome. Lilly smirks. She loves how her friend stands up to her, but she still doesn't give up on her idea of replacing Duncan with a more suitable guy for Veronica. Duncan has the feeling that Lilly already has a candidate in mind, but she refuses to confirm or deny.
Veronica as a girlfriend is sweet and thoughtful. She instinctively knows when Duncan is sad, or nervous, or anxious, and knows exactly how to cheer him up and give him strength. They have so much in common that they literally never argue.
When Duncan imagines a perfect future, he sees a small cottage on the beach with a dog like Molly, surfing the morning away and making a living doing something creative with his hands – maybe carving driftwood or making surfboards. Were he to be a little more realistic, he could see himself as a surgeon – again, doing precision work with his steady hands.
But Duncan Kane doesn't have the luxury of choosing his own future. As long as he's existed, he's been being groomed for the White House. Other kids – even Lilly – can come home with B's on their report cards. For Duncan, nothing less than an A is acceptable. Other kids play baseball in the summer. Duncan has Mock U.N. His parents put nonstop pressure on him to achieve, achieve, achieve. He complies, but it's not his dream. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine himself in the Oval Office, but the images will not come.
That all changes when Veronica comes into his life. With her by his side, it no longer feels like pressure. It feels like destiny. He will give his all, get perfect grades, join all of the perfect activities, and as a reward, someday he will be the President, and Veronica can be his First Lady - the most honored and revered woman in the country. If that is a gift he is capable of giving to her, he'll do it. Finally the images come. He can't do it for his father, and he certainly can't do it for himself, but he can do it for Veronica. He can do anything for Veronica.
Duncan and Veronica have been together almost a year. Tonight, Lilly and Veronica are having a girl's night, and he's been kicked out of his own home.
He's with Logan at Dick's guys-only party, and they are both wasted off their asses. Logan is talking about leaving, and Duncan is trying to take his keys away – patting down Logan's jacket and pants pockets. Logan isn't cooperating.
"Dude, get your hands off of me. I don't like you that way." Logan snickers at his own joke.
"I'm trying to get your keys."
"You can't have my keys."
"You're not driving, Logan." Casey comes up trying to help.
Luke joins them. "Logan, give Duncan your keys."
"He can't have my keys. He can't have my truck. It's mine. He has everything. He has enough."
Casey laughs. "He doesn't want your truck Logan, his is better, anyway." He fishes Logan's car keys out his back pocket and tosses them to Duncan.
"Gimme." Logan says turning to Duncan and holding out his hand, his eyes becoming angry.
"Not happening, Logan."
Suddenly, Logan is right in his face, shouting. "You already have Veronica. What the fuck else do you want from me?"
Throwing his hands up dramatically, Logan takes a step back, snags a bottle of Jack off the counter, and storms off towards the pool area.
In the awkward silence the follows his departure, every eye in the room turns to stare at Duncan.
Finally, Dick says what's on everybody else's mind. "Dude, Logan totally wants to fuck your girlfriend." He ducks when Duncan throws Logan's car keys at his head and storms off after Logan.
Duncan finds Logan sitting at the side of the pool with his feet in the water, and drops down next to him reaching for the bottle and taking a deep swig.
"Sorry, man." Logan says after a minute. "That was totally fucked up of me."
"Do you regret not going after Veronica?" Duncan asks. His brain goes there all the time anyway, even without Logan making a scene.
"Dude. I love your sister. We're perfectly matched."
"That wasn't an answer."
Logan shrugs, and Duncan presses him: "That game of Truth or Dare in the limo was a little too close for comfort. 'Hot' wasn't the word you used the first time you met Veronica, it was 'Love at first sight'."
Logan winces. "I know Veronica a lot better now."
"And?"
"And she's still sweet and pure. She's still a virgin."
"So? I'm not rushing her into anything." Duncan says defensively.
"That's my point." Logan says. "No matter how dark things get, Veronica is always that ray of light that gives us hope that things will get better."
"Yeah..." Duncan nods, not sure where Logan is going with this.
"And we keep her that way for a reason, Lilly and I. We shelter her from our dark sides. She doesn't know my deep dark secrets. Or Lilly's. Or...well I guess you don't have any dark secrets."
"Not really."
"If I'd gone after her, she wouldn't be the same, and she certainly wouldn't be a virgin. I would have dimmed her light, and she wouldn't be the Veronica we know and love."
"Or maybe she would have lit up your darkness."
Logan blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his head. "...maybe..."
"You don't give Veronica enough credit for having a mind of her own." Duncan says. "I don't think you could have corrupted her like you think."
"OK. Fine. You've convinced me. I'll go after Veronica, and we can test your theory." Logan says.
"What? You can't go after my girlfriend!
"Then remember that the next time you try to convince me that it could have worked out. I. Love. Lilly. You. Love. Veronica. Logan/Lilly. Duncan/Veronica. Forever and ever. Now let's never have this discussion again, OK?"
"So you're saying you don't have feelings for Veronica?"
Logan hesitates.
"I had feelings for Veronica. Then I started dating Lilly and fell in love with her." He make an 'and-that's-all-folks' gesture and smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"OK. I'll never bring it up again." Duncan laughs affably. Smiles. The liquor flowing through his veins has him feeling mellow. He loves Veronica. Logan doesn't. And they will never speak of it again.
One week later, Lilly dumps Logan for the last time for kissing Yolanda.
Two weeks later, Duncan learns that he is dating his half-sister. He does not want to give her up. He would rather die. He doesn't have a choice.
Three weeks after that, his sister is dead.
Duncan breaks.
Logan – Day Three – Somewhere in Texas
Logan's worry was beginning to round the corner to full-scale panic – like dry mouth, racing heartbeat panic – when he noticed a green speck on the horizon. Drawing closer, he let out a sigh of relief when he confirmed that it was indeed Liam Fitzpatrick's green Plymouth Barracuda parked on the shoulder, hood up.
He slowed and pulled off the road behind the muscle car, putting the Explorer in park. By the time he climbed out of the truck, Veronica was out of the Barracuda.
"Need a ride, little girl?" he grinned, arching an eyebrow.
Veronica's lower lip seemed to quiver for a second, and then she ran to Logan and threw her arms around his neck. Surprised, Logan hesitated for a moment, and then closed his arms around her back, pulling her tightly against him.
"I missed you too, V," he teased, softly. Closing his eyes, he buried his face in her hair breathing in the scent of her coconut shampoo.
Is she crying?
They stood in silence for several minutes, Logan's hand rising to gently stroke Veronica's silky blonde hair. He realized that, in all the years he had known her, he'd never comforted her before this trip. She had always been the one doing the comforting, the strong one, the one who didn't let anything get her down. They had all taken strength from her – himself, Lilly, and Duncan. Now he wanted to give something back.
Eventually, Veronica pulled back enough to study Logan's face. "I broke down about an hour ago. The Barracuda overheated." She said, sniffling, eyes red, but not crying. "I thought you weren't coming."
"Why wouldn't I come?" Logan asked, running his hand over the back of her head again.
"Well...I don't know..." Her eyes dropped to focus on his chest. "Because you hate me, maybe? You finally had your opportunity to be rid of me? It's not like you volunteered to get stuck with me."
"Veronica…" Logan sighed.
"What? You had no problem abandoning me before – when I needed you the most. You, and Duncan, and my mom, and even Lilly to an extent. All I had left was my dad, and now I've lost even him."
"Veronica," Logan tilted her chin up forcing her to meet his eyes. "I will never leave you behind. At least, not until you tell me to."
Veronica searched Logan's eyes for the truth. "Really?"
"I promise. And you know me. I'm an asshole, but not a liar. We're all each other have now. We're family - an extremely dysfunctional family - but family."
"I thought we were family before." She said, bitterly.
"Yeah, but now we've been tested, and we're stronger. So, until you tell me you want to go off and do your own thing, you're stuck with me."
Veronica let out a nervous laugh and buried her face in Logan's chest again, breathing in his warmth and his scent. He took a step backwards to lean against the truck pulling her with him. When she didn't resist, Logan squeezed her tighter.
"You and me against the world Ronnie, Okay?"
"Okay," she laughed softly. "Despite coming from the 'Big Book of Over-Dramatic Clichés', that sentiment means a lot to me."
He snickered and touched his lips to her forehead. "I highlighted and bookmarked it, just waiting for the day I could use it on a hot blonde."
Veronica didn't answer, but squeezed him tighter.
"I was following you just fine, and then this yellow Hummer got in between us, and I couldn't see over it. I tried to go around, but a mini-van boxed me in. By the time I finally got around them both, you were long gone. Then there was a pile-up. We were stopped in traffic for over forty minutes. You must have been in front of the accident."
"We need more disposable cells so we can reach each other if we're ever separated, again." Veronica mumbled into Logan's chest.
"We'll pick some up today." He smoothed her hair back.
When Veronica released him, her mask was back up and she was back to being all business.
Well...it was nice while it lasted.
"I'll go close the hood and hide the car keys." Veronica said.
"Why don't you leave the keys in the ignition?" Logan asked.
"Since we're leaving a trail for Liam, we want the car impounded, not stolen." Veronica explained.
While she closed the hood, retrieved the keys and locked up the Barracuda, Logan moved Duncan to the backseat.
Logan glanced over from the driver's seat as Veronica climbed into the truck and sank down with a weary sigh. She was exhausted, and he couldn't blame her. The past three days had been grueling for both of them, and he doubted the pace would let up anytime soon.
"So explain this plan of yours again?" he asked.
"We drive North to Dallas, leaving a trail. We allow several people to hear us talking about Chicago. Then we double back South to I-10 and continue on to Florida."
"What if nobody recognizes us."
"We'll think of something. Maybe whip out the black Amex I'm betting you never got around to destroying." she gave him a pointed glance. "I suppose if that draws Liam down on us, we'll have our proof the Lamb is on the payroll. We may need to do something a bit more…visible."
"Why did I get a shiver from the way you said 'visible'?" Logan smirked, inserting the key in the ignition.
As Logan was turning the car key, a red recent-model Mustang screeched to a halt ahead of them next to the Barracuda before pulling to the shoulder. Logan glanced at Veronica to gauge her reaction, but her eyes were large expressing frustration and a hint of fear. "He has a gun, Logan!"
Logan turned back to the Mustang and saw Liam Fitzpatrick running towards them with a gun in his hand. Without hesitation, he put the Explorer in Drive and drove straight at the large man. He wasn't sure what he would have done if Liam hadn't dived out of the path of the vehicle.
Sure you do. What's a little hit-and-run among fugitives?
"How in the hell did he get out of the handcuffs?" Logan asked, slamming the gas pedal to the floor.
Veronica turned to scrutinize the highway behind them for signs of Liam. "He didn't. Somebody snipped them in the middle."
"And where did he get another vehicle?"
"I imagine he stole it." Veronica answered. "It's not hard to hot wire a car. I could do it in three minutes."
Logan shot her a glance of disbelief. "Forgery and Grand Theft Auto? Any other criminal abilities I should know about?"
"Um…breaking and entering? Wiretapping? This girl's got mad skillz." Veronica smirked.
"You have no idea what a turn-on that is." Logan said, unable to take his eyes off the road to give her the requisite accompanying leer.
"How about we discuss your kinks after we've managed to lose the psychopath?"
"I'd rather discuss your kinks."
"That would be a very short discussion."
"So…what? Did Liam plant some kind of homing device on us? How could he have possibly found us this quickly?" Logan asked.
"We wanted him to find us, remember? I stopped at the gas station across from the motel without any disguise and asked for directions to Dallas."
"We wanted to lead him to Dallas, we didn't want him to actually find US."
"Yeah, he got free from the sink much sooner than I expected. He would have driven right past us if he hadn't seen his Barracuda."
"And now he knows what we're driving." Logan said.
"And…he's coming up behind us." Veronica called. "Drive faster."
"I'm already going 90 miles per hour."
"Go faster."
"I'm not going to be able to control the truck if I go any faster."
"Switch places with me." Veronica said.
"Sure, I'll just pull over to the shoulder," Logan snarked. "I'm sure Liam will wait patiently while we switch positions."
Veronica smiled at him and unbuckled her seatbelt.
Uh oh. I'm not liking the look of this. What's she going to try now?
She crouched down next to Logan, and holding on to the armrest on her seat, Veronica slid her left foot between his feet and very carefully slid onto his lap, taking the wheel.
"VERONICA! WE'RE GOING 100 FUCKING MILES PER HOUR!"
Veronica ignored him and slid her right foot above his on the gas pedal. Logan carefully slid his foot off the pedal.
"OK, I have the gas pedal and the steering wheel." Veronica said. "Now, very carefully slide yourself out from under me."
"You're fucking nuts!" Logan said, trying to spread his legs wide. It wasn't working. Veronica was too far back on his lap. He tried lifting up, to slide her forward and off his lap.
"Logan, I'm trying to drive, here." She said.
Finally, with no other option, he slid his hands under her butt, lifting her enough to be able spread his legs wide and then gently setting her down between his thighs.
"Hey! You copped a feel on my butt!"
"Yeah, well give a man his dying grope. We'll both be dead in three minutes, anyway. Be glad it wasn't your boobs. Wait, can I grope them too?"
"Sure, if you want to lose two of your three remaining minutes."
"Might be worth it. Under the shirt?"
"Logan…" Veronica warned.
"Sorry."
Logan took a deep breath. He had enjoyed the accidental grope much more than he should have. He should be thinking about whether or not he was about to die, not dwelling on the fact that the reverse cowgirl position had been ruined for life, because honestly, who or what could possibly top him lifting Veronica up by the ass at over 100 miles per hour. Then again, if he were with Veronica herself…
Oh shit. Getting hard. Think of grandmas. Naked wrinkly grandmas. Think of fiery car crashes!
Logan looked over his shoulder. "He's gaining on us."
"Not if I can help it." Veronica said pushing harder on the accelerator.
Whew. Much better. Fiery car crashes did the trick. We're still gonna die, but at least I averted that crises. I need to get out of this position, though before it comes back.
They were approaching a thick clump of cars, and Veronica navigated onto the shoulder. Logan winced at the screeching sound and sparks the Explorer created as it scraped along the guardrail.
"Logan. I'm trying to drive. Stop with the Heimlich maneuver." Veronica cried, and he realized he had his arms wrapped around her holding on for dear life.
"Sorry," he muttered, releasing his hold.
Veronica made it through the clump of cars, and an open stretch of road was ahead.
"Lean forward." Logan said.
Veronica leaned as close to the steering wheel as possible, and Logan slid his right foot between the seats, shifted his weight to his right leg, and carefully pulled his left leg out from behind Veronica. He dropped into the passenger's seat in relief, buckling his seatbelt.
"Logan?"
"Hmm?"
"I need you to hold the wheel so I can adjust my seat. You're way taller than I am."
"Oh...you noticed…" Logan leaned over taking the wheel. Veronica pulled the lever on her left side and adjusted the seat forward until she could reach the pedals easier. She then buckled her seatbelt.
She flashed him a smile and took the wheel back. "Thanks. Hey make yourself useful, search my bag and find the video camera."
"We're not making a freaking documentary, Veronica."
"Logan…" she warned.
"Yes, dear."
Logan dug through her bag until he found the camera.
"Now film the maniac chasing us. Try to keep Duncan and anything that could identify the make and model of this truck out of the frame, though. Like the steering wheel and the dashboard."
"Okay. How are you so calm, Veronica?" Logan asked.
"Because my dad taught me how to drive."
"So? My dad taught me to drive, and I'm about to piss myself."
"Yeah, but your dad didn't attend Evasive Driving School." Veronica answered, her face almost smug.
Logan pushed the camera's red button and turned in his seat, keeping Duncan out of the frame while he began narrating. "Hello, I'm Logan Echolls – yes, that Logan Echolls – and today, I'm inviting you, the viewing audience, to accompany me on the last moments of my life."
Veronica snorted from the driver's seat, and Logan turned to film her. "This is Veronica Mars. I'd ask her to wave to the camera, but she's a little occupied right now, trying to keep us alive. She's a pretty good driver, huh?"
He turned to find Liam's vehicle in the viewfinder. "That…" He found the zoom button and zoomed in on Liam's car. "Is Liam Fitzpatrick. He's currently attempting to murder us...for the second time today." His voice was steady, but his heart was pounding with anxiety.
Logan recorded Liam closing the distance, showing much less regard for human life than Veronica. He'd already run two cars off the road in the time Logan had been recording him. Too bad the Mustang's windows were tinted. He didn't think it likely that Liam's face would be captured on video.
They were approaching a clump of about a dozen cars ahead. Veronica began honking the horn repeatedly, and several of the vehicles moved to the right lane, but a few were being stubborn.
Logan turned to aim the camera out the front window. "Ahead of us are a few people who think it's more important to stand their ground in the fast lane, then to get out of the way of a high speed car chase. If we somehow don't die today, remind me to never drive like an asshole again, Ronnie."
"Don't drive like an asshole, Logan," she said with a distracted air.
Veronica slowed behind a red Blazer that wouldn't move out of the left lane, and tailgated it until she had just barely enough room to squeeze into the center lane in front of white Explorer.
"In case you can't tell," Logan told the camera "Veronica has balls of steel. Kinda hot, huh?"
The corners of Veronica's mouth turned up slightly, but she didn't take her eyes off the road.
A blue Ford Focus in front of her showed no sign of speeding up, so Veronica moved to the right lane and then onto the shoulder. This time, there was no guardrail to hinder her, so she was able to quickly pass two vehicles before crossing three lanes of traffic to return to the fast lane. Logan flipped off the driver of the Blazer while Veronica tailgated a silver Ford Windstar, who had the decency to move into the center lane.
From behind came the sounds of honking horns and squealing tires. There was only one remaining car a – black Honda Accord – to get past before the road would open up before them. Unfortunately, the car was boxed in, unable to move to the center lane, and didn't seem inclined to pick up its speed.
Veronica reached out her right hand, and it took Logan a moment to realize she was reaching for his. He switched the camera to his left hand and took her hand.
Veronica squeezed it, let out a deep breath, and said "Wish me luck, Lo."
Bringing her hand to his mouth, he pressed his lips to it, lingering for a moment before saying "Good luck Ronnie." in a quiet voice.
He noticed a hint of a smile on her face before she took another deep breath, returned her hand to the wheel and steered onto the left shoulder. Unfortunately, they were on a bridge, and the left shoulder wasn't as wide as a full lane. Logan clenched his jaw and squeezed the grab handle as their vehicle scraped between the concrete barrier on the left and the Accord on their right, whose driver – a giant-sized redneck-looking man with a baseball cap and a long ponytail – looked like he was about to pee himself. Luck was with them because the side mirror escaped without being knocked off, and suddenly, they were through the other side with open road ahead of them.
Veronica spared a second to glance at Logan, and something in his eyes must have surprised her, because her's widened, and her lips slightly parted.
Tone down the blatant admiration, Logan, or she's going to dump you on the side of the road.
"You did amazing, V," he said, before turning the camera to search for Liam behind them. The Accord had since moved to the center lane, and even the asshole in the Blazer had pulled over giving Liam a clear path to catch up with them. "Oh, sure. By all means, make room for the pursuer, you morons."
"He's catching up." Logan said watching the Mustang draw closer and closer. "Of course he's catching up. Because, dear viewing audience, trucks can't beat Mustangs."
"We'll lose him." Veronica promised.
"HE'S ABOUT TO RAM US!"
Veronica checked her seatbelt and braced herself.
The Mustang hit the Explorer causing Logan's and Duncan's heads to bounce forward. Veronica barely flinched, swerving into the left lane. Liam switched lanes and rammed them again. Veronica managed to keep the vehicle under control, passing a Ford Taurus and then swerving back to the center lane. Liam quickly followed. The third time Liam rammed the Explorer, he swerved wildly to the right for a moment before getting his car under control and moving back behind them.
Veronica passed a Camry in the right lane, and slid between it and the semi in front of it. She slowed to prevent Liam from getting behind her, so he moved up on her left, boxing her in. Logan followed him with the camera.
"Veronica!"
"Breathe, Logan."
"Remember? He has a gun!"
"Would you try aiming and shooting at this speed?"
They passed another exit ramp. Moments later, she hung a hard right, driving up the grass embankment.
"What are you doing? This is an entrance ramp." Logan asked.
"What do you want me to do? We got away from Liam, right?" Veronica asked, as the tires found asphalt and they slipped onto the ramp driving in the wrong direction.
"Uh, Veronica. Liam slammed on his brakes and followed us." Logan said, aiming the camera at the Mustang tearing up the grass.
"Damn." Veronica swore, swerving to the shoulder as an oncoming car blared its horn at her. At the end of the ramp, she hung a tight right hand turn without stopping. Luckily, the four-lane road ran through a rural area and no other cars were nearby.
"He's catching up again! Veronica!"
She didn't respond, so Logan turned the camera on her.
"So...uh...you wanna make up and be friends again?" Logan asked.
"Umm..." Veronica said. "Can we talk about this later?"
"I mean, I know we've been acting like friends the past couple of days, but maybe we should make it official."
"Is this the part where I'm supposed to spit on my hand and shake yours?" Veronica asked, watching the rearview. "Cause my hands are a little busy right now."
"I'll accept other forms of spit swapping."
This time he got an actual laugh out of her.
"Hey, I'm not looking to have a long touchy-feely discussion. I just don't want to die as the bad guy."
"Fine." Veronica sighed, keeping an eye on her side mirror. "All is forgiven."
"Good. And I forgive you too." Logan said magnanimously.
"For what? I didn't do anything."
"Can't you be gracious for once, Veronica?"
"Not when I did nothing wrong."
Logan blew out a puff of air. This probably wasn't the optimal time to push the issue.
Logan turned the camera on himself. "In case anybody finds this video, I'd like to say Mom, I love you. Dad, um…later dude. Trina, it's been...interesting to say the least. Duncan…" His eyes flicked to the back seat. "Since kindergarten you've been the best friend a guy could ever have. It's been a blast. And Veronica…" He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "Wow. It's a lot easier saying goodbye to the people who aren't here." He laughed nervously. "I guess we're going to die together, huh? So…" Deep breath. "There's one thing I've always needed to tell you—"
"Logan, will you cut that out? We're not going to die."
"You're ruining my dramatic moment here, Ronnie."
"You'll survive." She held up a hand to cut off his protest. "Really. You'll survive."
Logan turned the camera back on Veronica. "Are you slowing down?"
"Trust me." Veronica said. "He's already decided that ramming us won't work. He's going to want to get in front of us and cut us off. Force us to stop the car."
"And you're giving him what he wants?
Veronica flashed him a grin.
"Oh hell! Oh hell! Oh hell!" Logan said as Liam began creeping up on their left. He'd forgotten he was even holding the camera.
"He's almost where I want him." Veronica responded. She reached out her right hand and took Logan's free hand, giving him another reassuring squeeze.
Liam pulled up and began passing them on the left.
"What are you doing, Veronica?"
"Wait...for...it..." For Logan, time seemed to slow to a crawl, as he watched the Mustang pull ahead of them. Veronica's face was calm, almost anticipatory, which pulled a smile from Logan's lips. He could think of worse things to be looking at when he died.
When the Mustang was 90% ahead of them, Veronica turned the steering wheel to the left, making contact with Liam's fender. She kept turning, hard, against the pressure, forcing Liam's Mustang to zip across the Explorer's path and off to the right, where it made a full rotation, coming to a stop front-end down in a ditch.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Logan screamed.
"Physics, darling." Veronica flashed him a triumphant grin.
She brought the Explorer to a stop.
"Find a bathroom. I almost just peed myself." Logan said.
Veronica threw the Explorer in reverse, and looking over her right shoulder, accelerated to around 35 mph before spinning the wheel hard, and throwing the car into drive.
"Now you're just showing off." Logan muttered.
"Never hurts to practice your J-Turns." Veronica smirked.
"You will be teaching me how to drive like that."
"You don't have the guts to drive like that." Veronica challenged.
"Never underestimate the size of my cajones." Logan said with authority.
Is that a blush on her face? Nah, it must just be my imagination.
Logan turned off the video camera and stuffed it back into Veronica's bag. He leaned to the right on the car door and studied Veronica as she zig-zagged along state routes and side roads until she was sure Liam wouldn't be able to follow them, and then pulled into a large gas station, driving to the back behind the dumpsters.
Slamming the gearshift into park, Veronica pressed her head to the steering wheel and gulped deep breaths.
Logan felt the same compulsion from earlier to give comfort to her. He reached out a hand and started rubbing her back. "Hey, it's OK. You were amazing back there. It's going to be alright"
Veronica raised her head to look at him, chest still heaving.
He was surprised to find that she was not crying. Instead, her eyes were bright and shining. More alive than he'd ever seen them before. They shone with some emotion he'd never seen on her face. Was it lust? It sure looked a lot like lust.
Logan's mouth went dry, and his heart began to pound. He felt like a gazelle trapped in the hungry gaze of a lioness.
"Veronica?" Was that his voice? It sounded too husky.
Her gaze snapped from Logan's eyes down to his mouth, and he watched her lips slightly part, flashing a hint of teeth. Her pupils dilated, and Logan felt his stomach drop. He dragged in a ragged breath, not even realizing that his hand had relocated from her back to the back of her neck, where his thumb was drawing random patterns on her skin.
I need to defuse this situation quickly before we both end up naked in the passenger's seat in a gas station parking lot with Duncan right behind us.
Damn! I don't want to defuse this situation. Doing the right thing blows! But not literally, because that would be the wrong thing. Damn! Damn! Damn! Tell a joke, Logan.
"Veronica? Why are you looking at me like I'm a juicy steak that you're about to devour?"
Not that kind of joke! Why the hell did I say that?
"Huh?" She asked, lifting her gaze from his lips to his eyes. Her eyes were still glazed, and he imagined his own were as well. His mind might have wanted to stop things from happening, but his body was on a completely different page. In fact, he belatedly realized his hand was still rubbing the back of her neck, and pulled it away.
For a moment, Veronica looked confused and then her mask came back up.
"What the hell are you talking about, Logan? I didn't look at you look at you like anything."
Logan looked Ms. Denial over, and then a cocky smile slowly spread over his face. "Now I get it, Ronnie."
"Get what, Logan?" Veronica asked, evidently annoyed.
"It's the danger, isn't it?" He asked, flashing her an 'I've-got-your-number' smile. "That little moment we had this morning, and then just now. Both were right after we survived imminent danger and were filled with adrenaline."
"We didn't have a moment. Not this morning, and not now. Ten minutes ago, you wanted to be friends. Now, you're seriously pissing me off."
"Mmm Hmm." He grinned.
He dug through their quick-change disguise bag and put on his glasses and his favorite baseball cap, handing Veronica her glasses and her light brown wig.
As they walked across the parking lot, Logan slung an arm around her. "If it's any consolation…" He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "It turns me on too."
Veronica shoved Logan away, laughing despite herself.
Veronica - Day Three - Lakeview Court Motel - Dallas, TX
Veronica took her turn driving for the next several hours. Happily, the conversation with Logan remained light and trivial. She didn't think she could handle any more intensity. She'd been through the wringer today. Starting with her classmates' unhealthy obsession with her sex life, continuing through the Liam attack, then being stranded at the side of the road for over an hour positive that Logan had abandoned her – I can't believe how sweet he was about that when he finally showed up – and culminating with the high-speed car chase. Logan had been right about one thing. The adrenaline definitely did something to her. Just maybe not in the way he was insinuating. That would be crazy.
She drove around Dallas for a while before pulling into the Lakeview Court Motel. It was far away enough from the freeway that she doubted Liam would ever find it.
"Where's the lake?" Logan asked. "How can it be a Lakeview if there's no lake?"
Veronica rolled her eyes and parked the car in front of the office. "I'll be right back."
When Veronica slipped through the office door of the Lakeview Court Motel, she immediately sensed that she'd chosen the right place to stay the night. The khaki colored berbar carpet was immaculately clean. Two inexpensive but spotless chocolate colored-couches were arranged to the right of the door around an oak coffee table. Tasteful framed black-and-white photos of flowers lined the wall – whoever had taken them had a great eye.
Behind the white front desk with a granite countertop stood a very tall, heavyset, grandmotherly woman, with dark hair flipped up at the ends in a style reminiscent of Rikki Lake in Hairspray.
"Just one second, hon." The lady ran a finger along a leather-bound ledger, jotted down a figure, and then looked up at Veronica.
"Welcome to the Lakeview, how can I help you?"
"I'd like a room with two double beds, please."
The lady tilted her head, examining Veronica to determine why the face looked familiar, and then comprehension dawned on her face.
"Veronica Mars?"
A/N3 *The Wikipedia entry for Temporal Lobe epilepsy states the following under the Media Depictions section: Television show "Veronica Mars," 2004-2007, main character Veronica Mars suspected her ex-boyfriend Duncan Kane of murdering his sister and her best friend, Lilly Kane, after discovering he had been treated for TLE symptoms. (Wrongly described on the show as "Type Four Epilepsy.")
A/N4 For reference: Veronica's POV flashback to first meeting Logan is in chapter 5. Her flashback to right before she began dating Duncan is in chapter 7.
A/N5 Yeah, I spent an entire afternoon – maybe a month or so ago – watching 'Evasive Driving' videos on YouTube to be able to write that car chase. Hopefully you could see it in your heads the way I intended. Let me know, or let me know what you thought about the flashback/backstory. I love feedback. Really, really love it.