Holidays of Future Passed Family Reunion Another Future episode involving Kirk and Picard Simpson and Purple Giraffes and Flying cars!
Plot
Instead of a chalkboard gag, Grown up Bart in the old classroom, now his pauper apartment is drinking beer while lying on his bed made from desks put together.
His alarm clock rings and he leaves and flies out the school on his skateboard.
The couch gag is Jerry, the alien sitting on the couch.
...
The Simpsons are watching a crime drama.
(Action music plays on TV)
"There comes a time when crime rises up, and there are murder cases as far as the eye could see." A narrator speaks.
Of course yours truly has a far more seductive narrative voice...
"There're just too many murders, but I only needed to solve one case." said some gumshoe detective in a leather coat called Glen.
"There are some cops who can read minds." said the less glamorous narrator on the TV.
"Just tell me who shot him damn it. I'm not a mind reader." Glen seethed annoyed.
"I am." said Oscar. Oscar is psychic.
Bart hushed him.
"There are some cops who predict the murder." said the narrator.
"Yeah they made a movie of that... Minority Report..." said Oscar.
"Shut up..." Bart groaned.
"I can see who shot this man if only I have some information." said Glen studying the scene of the crime.
"And there are some cops who get help from faith." said the narrator.
"Just help me God, I need to solve this case with your luck." Glen was religious too.
"Sorry Glen, I'm on my break." said the Lord almighty himself.
God eats his hotdog.
Oscar cracked up laughing.
Bart growled annoyed.
Marge hushed Oscar.
"But there is one cop who can find out the culprit, in his way."
"If I can't solve a case on who murdered him, I guess I'm gonna have to..." said Glen.
(Suspicious music plays)
"...figure it out." He said his catchphrase.
"Glen Dragnet is... The Figure Outer. Tonight at 8." That's a dumb name for a show...
The family coos in awe and vague interest.
...
"Whoa! TV really did a number on those action cop shows." said Homer.
"Yeah this show is not great as McGarnagle..." said Bart.
"Bart McGarnagle is old now... Swedish crime dramas are trending now..." Lisa sighed. On her Mypad she had a streaming app open that had episodes of a Swedish crime drama saved.
"Bork! Bork! Bork!" Oscar was doing Saedish chef sounds.
Lisa sighed.
"Homer, turn off the TV and pick out a tie for the family reunion photo." said Marge.
Homer sighed and switched off the TV snd looked at the ties Marge offered.
"Uh..." that one?" Homer asked.
"Homer the ten beer commandments isn't a suitable tie fora family photo..." Marge sighed.
"Moosk says ties are evil..." said Oscar.
Marge sighed.
Abe stirred from his sleep. He jabbered startled. Old timer was napping in the green armchair.
"What the. Ah, the Simpson family reunion, I remember that. Those were the golden years about..." He starts one of his rambling stories.
Homer groaned.
Abe rambles, Homer gets up and walks away to get away from his boring and senseless tall stories. "In those days we didn't have white onions, only big yellow ones..."
Dana walks in while chatting on her cell. "I'm gonna have to rain check on all my plans with you girls... Family reunion party, can't back out of it... ciao..." said the talkative teenager.
"There is no Dana... only Zuul..." said Oscar talking in a beastly tone.
Bart glared at him.
"Hey! That was supposed be my OC! Tessa!" Hank whined.
"You don't get to have any input in this episode, dick..." Oscar cursed at him.
Hank seethed. "Stop justifying yourself! Perv!"
Oscar throttled him.
"Enough! I won't have fighting at this barbecue! And that goes for both of you!" Marge pried them apart.
Oscar sulked flashing Hank an icy glare.
Lisa sighed vexed with Oscar.
...
"I want to treasure tomorrow's party forever, for the right reasons..." said Marge.
"Like the time Dad forgot his keys and he had to crap in the bushes." Bart shows a picture of Homer crapping in the bushes
Oscar screeched with laughter.
Bart winced in pain from his shrill laugh but grinned at him and tousled his brown hair. He chuckled agreeing that the embarrassing photo was funny.
"Bart, I tried to forget that memory. Why'd you take that damn photo?" Homer groaned.
"I dunno, probably felt it was funny. Gahahaha! And it still is!"
The family sighed.
"Bart that's not something you should be taking photos of..." Dana sighed.
"There is no Dana! Only Zu-" Oscar rasped.
"Oh laugh a little... I also took a photo of Oscar wearing just a diaper when he was squatting to poop..." Bart had a photo of Oscar in a diaper squatting as if he was pooping.
"Bart! Delete that now!" Oscar yelled.
Bart laughed.
Marge frowned.
"Seventy one, Seventy two..." Quiffy was keeping count of his swings as he swung his over-sized mallet about.
Oscar sighed.
"Do tou have to do that now..." Oscar sighed.
"Kinda..." said Quiffy.
Graggle was naked, again... He's always naked...
"My eyes! It buuuuuuuurns!" said one of Hank's awful Mary Sue characters.
"Hey!" Hank yelled.
"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" said Oscar in anguish.
"They won't do anything resting around your hairline..." Bart sighed.
"They're an anime gimmick, forehead goggles. said Oscar pointing to his green goggles.
"Graggle! Put some clothes on!" Marge told Graggle off for being naked.
Then Lisa noticed a lizard was crawling on her arm.
"Hey Lisa has a lizard crawling on her arm." said Oscar.
"I am the lizard queen..." said Lisa in a trance.
Bart face palmed. "Not again..."
Lisa grinned.
...
The future, Holidays of Future Passed timeline.
Homer heads to Moe's, despite having to quit drinking to get a liver transplant.
Homer is old angry and bitter, probably from Matt killing off his mother and keeping him working at the plant.
Matt seethed and threw a tantrum.
"Uh Matt... I moved on from the toy factory..." said Peter Griffin working at Pawtucket Patriot brewery.
"I don't like change!" Matt screamed. "Except when killing off great characters that everyone loves."
Homer rolled his eyes. He mumbled and simmered quietly, cold and enraged slightly over something.
In this future Moe is now dead, having committed suicide. Barney now runs the bar,
Barney belched. "Hey Homer! Wanna beer?"
"No, no Barney. I can't drink anymore, on the account of my liver transplant." said Homer shiwing his transplant scar.
"Oh yeah." said Barney.
Homer orders a coffee and watches the bar TV.
There is an Addams Family movie on. called The Addams Family Reunion.
"You raaaaaaaaang?" Lurch asked a guest. A studio audience laughed.
Homer chuckled.
"Yeah this week they're showing a marathon of centuries of lost cheesy family movies." said Barney.
"Yeah that was a Urrrrrrp! movie." said Barney.
"Does that mean you liked it or not?" Homer asked.
"It means I- Urrrrrrrrrp!" Barney belched,
Homer sighed.
"I should call the kids." said Homer. He rang his kids on his cell.
Bart is snoozing in Krabappel's old classroom which is now his apartment. The phone rang.
"Ugh... Bart answer that..." said Bart's latest girlfriend.
Bart sighed. "Ugh... what Homeslice..."
"Call me dad!" Homer yelled.
"Dad why are you calling me at this hour..." Bart sighed.
"Boy it's 2pm! Why are you sleeping?!" Homer yelled.
"I wasn't sleeping..." said Bart.
...
Later at the bar.
"Oh and vaccines are now manditory." said Homer to Barney. "That's just tyranny..."
"No it's not you filthy plague spreading traitors!" Oscar snapped. "Oooooooh! A big scary needle! Would you rather die of tuberculosis?!"
"Those who sacrifice freedom for safety, deserve neither..." said Homer.
"Take your jab!" Oscar pointed his handgun at Homer, pressing it against his temple on the left side of his head.
Barney shook his head.
"Get that gun away from my head... pants-wetting authoritarian..." Homer seethed.
"Comply and protect the elderly!" Oscar snapped.
Elsewhere outside tge pharmacy, Hans Moleman was heading home.
Thunder rumbled. It rained acid rain.
"Oh dear..." said Moleman as his clothes dissolved and his flesh melted off.
Then there was a blizzard of razor snow...
Teddy in a force field bubble winced.
Old Gil got sliced up by the razor snow. "Oh just my luck..."
The Simpsons house. Grownup Lisa was about to go out.
"Lisa no! Razor snow!" Grownup Hugo warned her.
"Let her try, it'd be funny..." said the flamingo door knocker.
Hugo sighed and slammed the door shut.
"Why does the house talk like Hooty...?" Lisa winces. Because Hooty is awesome!
Bagel place. Oscar teleported in. "Teleporting beats having to walk in the rain or the razor snow..." Oscar sighed, seeing the deadly weather outside.
"Yo! (Whistles) What can I get yous? Come oooooooon!" said the owner who talks like Mr Panucchi from Futurama.
"A dozen pizza bagels!" Oscar is obsessed with pizza bagels...
"Sorry, out of stock... no pepperoni..." said the owner chewing his cigar.
"Pizza... BAGELS!" Oscar snapped.
The Collector winced.
"Beat it kid..." said the owner.
Oscar sighed and left.
"I have to force feed Yuma from Zexal tomatoes anyway..." said Oscar sighing, disappointed he could not have pizza bagels.
...
At the Simpsons house. Grownup Lisa received a femail. All e-mail and computer terms are feminine now...
"It's Mom from the early twenty first century. She's inviting all the possible Simpson family members round for afamily reunion barbecue." said Lisa. As one does...
Hugo sighed. "Not likeI had things to do this week..."
"Shall I pack your things master?" Igor asked.
"Uh... probably..." said Hugo.
Igor nods and xomplies.
"And pack my Magic tge Gathering deck..." said Hugo.
"The one that Oscar ate?" Igor asked.
"Yes the Golgari deck that passed through Oscar's digestive system..." Hugo sighed.
Lisa winced. "Why did he eat a deck of cards again?"
"Because he's weird..." said Hugo.
Meanwhile Oscar was force feeding Yuma from Yugioh Zexal tomatoes.
Yuma's friends winced.
Plot 2
Simpsons backyard, the day of the barbecue. Some guests have arrived.
"Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?" Oscar asked Irreep while holding an egg and grinning.
Irreep and Oscar had their pet monsters with them. By Oscar's side sat Dino, who still resembles a baby Chomby... Irreep had a Gabumon like monster.
Irreep sighed.
Dino began munching on Marge's petunias.
Marge gasped. "Shoo!" The baby dinosaur backed away while chewing up petunias he managed to snatch up.
"Oz your pet is obviously hungry..." Irreep sighed.
"What can a herbivore possibly eat at a barbecue?!" Oscar ranted.
"Oz I brought salad, because someone forgot I'm vegetarian..." said Lisa.
Dad scoffed.
Lisa offered Dino a bowl of salad. "Don't eat it too fast."
Dino devoured the salad in the blink of an eye.
"He ate it too fast..." Lisa sighed.
"Dino chew your food..." Oscar sighed.
The small yellow cartoon dinosaur with green stegosaur scutes barked annoyed.
Oscar tweaked Dino's big shiny bulbous snout.
Teddy scanpered over and sniffed Oscar's crotch with his big wet shiny black nose.
Hank seethed.
"Go back to your safe space Karen..." Oscar grinned dropping his shorts so Teddy could sniff his diaper.
"Do I actually have any defining character traits?" Tessa asked.
"No Hank just stuffs blank characters in his stories..." said Oscar.
"Oh yeah like your readers really wanna read about your teddy bear thing sniffing your groin for several pages..." Hank seethed.
Grownup Bart arrived with Kirk and Picard.
Teddy grinned deviously.
"Ted no shrinking them and then stuffing them up your nose..." Oscar sighed.
Hank scowled.
Then... Jenda blundered in.
"Hey I have custody of the kids this weekend!" said Jenda.
"No you have custard-y of them..." said Oscar eating custard.
Jenda gave him a deadpan stare of bemusement.
"Oh haha... really funny... not!" Hank yelled.
...
Then Grampa from Treehouse of Horror XVI, from when he was a gorilla arrived.
Bart winced.
"Oh I am the king of the swingers! Oh! a jungke OAP! I can't climb to the top, my bladder won't stop... and well I have to have my bananas mashed up for me now... Oh bother..." He sang an improvised version of I wanna be like yoooouuuuuu! But about his old age.
Marge sighed.
Baby Bart wearing a diaper toddled about. Ape Grampa scooped him up. "Hey there sonny! My little man cub!"
Baby Bart whimpered as the elderly ape started boring him with war stories and singing I wanna be like you from Disney's Jungle Book.
Bart babbled, his cooing and gurgling translated into subtitles that read "Uh, hate to bring this up but I'm allergic to gorilla fur..."
Gorila Abe held baby Bart securly in one thick hairy arm and swung about on a vine.
Marge was baffled.
"He's gonna become Bartzan..." Oscar smirked.
In a jungle. Gorilla Abe rested baby Bart on his shoulder as he climbed up to his nest. Bart whimpered.
"Ah quit your bellyaching boy..." Gorilla Abe sighed.
"You were supposed to stop at the hippopotamus!" said Crazy Old Jewish guy as a sloth.
Gorilla Abe muttered.
He settled into his nest and held Baby Bart aloft in his big strong arms. Bart gurgled and wriggled.
Baby Bart's stomach then gurgled and he winced as he messed himself with a cartoony splat! He filled his diaper.
"Eeeeugh..." said Grampa as a gorilla.
"And I'm a lovely number 2..." said Sean Paul.
Baby Bart winced.
"What am I supposed to do?!" Abe groaned while holding baby Bar aloft. Baby Bart was crying because of his dirty diaper.
"I dunno but the cartoon bear cubs who pester me seem to know how to change me..." said baby Oscar.
Cousin Hank seethed.
Back at the barbecue, Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear thing, was sniffing Kirk Simpson with his big wet shiny nose.
Kirk backed away and frowned at the cartoon teddy bear thing.
Meanwhile Gorilla Abe was changing baby Bart's diaper.
...
The future. Future Tessa, Hank's crap OC is at Martin's house. She gasps. Martin is now married to Mickie Mouse.
"Stop making fun of me for being voiced by Russi Taylor!" Martin whined.
Cyborg Oscar giggled.
Martin sighed and read a book.
"You could learn a lot from Martin, Bart..." said Tessa.
"I am fine with being stupid!" Bart cut her short with a sharp response.
Tessa sighed.
"Even Okra Winfrey has more backstory than your moronic OCs Hank!" Oscar yelled.
Hank seethed.
"What is the fun in thinking?!" Bart went off to ram into people with a kitchen sauce pan on his head.
Martin winced.
Elsewhere after Oscar force fed Yuma tomatoes.
"Let's get duelling!" said Yuma duelling someone.
"Get your game on!" Jaden yelled.
Yuma winced at him.
"I'm too much of a wimp to duel. Puberty power transformation!" Yugi summoned his imaginary friend to duel for him.
"Card games on motorcycles!" yelled the main character of 5Ds.
Yuma sighed. He activated his Duel Gazer.
"Omg! He has a Dragon Ball Z Scouter!" Oscar yelled.
"It's a Duel Gazer..." Yuma sighed.
"What is that monsters attack points?" Oscar asked.
Yuma sighed and scanned a monster. "It's over 9000..."
Oscar laughed.
Yuma sighed.
"Eat a tomato!" Oscar yelled.
"No! I hate those nasty things!" Yuma yelled.
"They are not nasty! They are yummy!" Oscar yelled.
Yuma seethed.
...
Elsewhere in another dimension. The one where the Simpsons went to Mars in season 5. The Bart and Lisa of that universe were in the diamond realm of Buddhism mythology.
Lisa winced.
"Diamond vision..." said Bart wearing diamonds on his eyes.
Lisa sighed irked with him.
"Okay Dopey..." said Oscar grinning.
Bart pocketed his diamonds and frowned at Oscar.
Lisa sighed bemused.
The amitabha Buddha arrived on a purple cloud.
"The Amitabha is the grim reaper or Death in Buddhism." said Lisa.
"Coooool!" Oscar cooed.
Lisa winced.
Back at the barbecue. "Yeah we're supposed to be having a barbecue..." said Bart eating a burger. Yes but the episode is nonsensical crap...
Back in the diamond realm. "It would be cool if the Mara/Namuché was here..." said Oscar.
"Uh no..." said Lisa.
Can you not geek out about Lisa's cult..." Bart sighed.
"Buddhism is not a cult!" Lisa yelled.
"Yeah, Xenu worshipper..." said Oscar.
"Enough!" Bart snapped.
"Guys be serious..." Lisa sighed.
"Wait, I know! We could summon Monkey Hero here!" Oscar cheered.
Lisa winced.
"You mortals refer to me as Sun Wukong!" Monkey yelled.
Oscar offered him a banana.
Monkey seethed.
The Amitabha Budded sighed.
"Why is Death here?!" Monkey yelled.
"Death? We don't want it..." Oscar whined. A studio audience laughed.
Monkey sighed and face palmed. "You have duties in the ten hells!" He scolded the Amitabha.
"You have ten Hells?!" Oscar asked.
"Yes..." Monkey sighed.
...
Temple of the Ancient One.
Erik, creator of James Bouvier, lead Bart, Lisa, Oscar and Monkey Hero on archeological dig.
Monkey turned himself into Bart with his transforming powers. Except he still had a monkey tail.
Bart glared at the other Bart that was actually Monkey Hero. Monkey chuckled.
"Cut that out!" Bart yelled.
Then those weird stone monsters from the Tomb Raider movie attacked.
"Jeepers!" Oscar gulped.
Monkey drew a magic circle around himself, Bart, Lisa, Oscar and Erik.
"An anti-sea bear circle..." Oscar chuckled.
"No!" Monkey snapped annoyed.
A sandstorm surrounded them.
"Aaaaah... my eyes..." Bart groaned.
The sand formed Sandy, One of Monkeys friends.
"Hey Monkey." said the sand ogre.
"Hey bud." Monkey smirked.
Oscar then has to start whining... "How comes he gets to call you Monkey..."
"Because I allow him to..." Monkey seethed.
Oscar pouted.
"And he doesn't disrespect me by offering me bananas!" Monkey yelled.
Oscar offered him a banana.
"ENOUGH!" Monkey yelled.
Lisa flinched. Oscar was about to get himself in more trouble with Monkey.
"Oz! Do not enrage the monkey god!" Bart warned him.
"Is this a bad time?" Sandy asked.
"No, of course not bud. Just that this mortal is very, very annoying..." Monkey seethed. Oscar was pulling silly faces at him. Monkey glared at him.
"Oz..." Bart sighed.
"By the gods of plot advancement please just move on the story..." Sandy sighed.
"We will as soon as Monkey stops being a grouch!" said Oscar.
"I am not a grouch!" Monkey yelled.
...
At the barbecue. Bart needed to find someone,
"Mom where's Dana?" Bart asked.
"There is no Dana, only Zuul..." Oscar rasped.
Bart face palmed.
"I'm here Bart... Dad you have some more bills..." said Dana with the mail.
"Ooooooh... I need to save money..." Homer whined as he read the bills.
"I saved money once by re-eating my ice cream at Phineas Q Butterfats..." said Oscar.
"Yeah and the manager was grossed out and told you to leave!" said Bart glaring at Oscar.
"Kids hang out with ..." Marge sighed.
"Hanging out is mainstream..." T Rex moaned.
Marge grumbled.
"True patriots breastfeed!" Emily yelled.
Marge glared at her.
Plot 3
Homer and Oscar went shopping for pickles and to distract Oscar so he wasn't annoying everyone.
Oscar sighed abd frowned annoyed he was being deprived of people to annoy.
Homer drives to the Kwik E Mart. Oscar decides to annoy him by singing I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus by The Jackson 5.
Oscar hit a shrill high note. "Last niiiiiiiight!"
Homer growled annoyed.
Eventually he parked in a parking space and got out. Oscar was still singing Jackson 5 songs.
They enter the Kwik E Mart.
"Hello my friends!" said Apu in an exaggerated accent.
"Just looking for pickles Apu." said Homer.
Apu smiled and mopped the top of the till counter with a cloth.
Some pickle brands brought out the worst in Oscar.
"Lisa inc?!"
"What? There's gonna be a market in pickling! and since pickles are a vegetable, I don't mind supporting the market." said Grown up Lisa.
"HJS Condiments Limited?!" Oscar yelled.
"I joined the pickle market too. Mmmmmm... pickles..." said Future Homer.
"Okay..." Oscar said in a wry manner. He found a brand of pickles called "Van Houten, Sour Pickles."
Oscar glared at Future Milhouse, who is losing his hair and beginning to resemble his dad. Milhouse shrugged.
The last straw was finding a jar of Dino's pickles.
"Dino?! You're selling pickles?" Oscar asked his pet cartoon dinosaur.
Dino yapped and wagged his tail.
Oscar seethed.
"I'll just buy the Dino's pickles..." said Homer.
"How would he even screw the lids on the jars?! He has no fingers or toes?!" Oscar yelled.
Dino glanced at his simple round feet and frowned.
Homer sighed and went to the till to pay for his jar of Dino's pickles.
Apu charged him a ridiculous price for pickles.
"What a rip!" Homer whined annoyed as he paid for the pickles.
...
The temple of the Ancient One with Monkey Hero and Sandy the sand ogre.
"Saaaaand..." Oscar rasped.
Bart face palmed.
Anakin Skywalker seethed and his irises turned yellow.
"Is he uh... damaged in the head..." asked Sandy.
"That would explain things..." said Bart.
"Kallae Kistnaeeeee.." Oscar rasped.
Monkey sighed. "I'm a god, I have better things to do than babysitting this screwball!" He pointed to Oscar.
Oscar offered him a banana again.
"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" Monkey yelled.
Then there was a purple giraffe.
Monkey winced.
Oscar smirked.
Then there were killer pikachus from the Ural mountains.
Monkey glared at Oscar.
"That was Erik that time..." said Oscar.
"Can we move on with the plot already..." Sandy sighed.
"Okay we will Gaara..." said Oscar.
Sandy glared at him.
Bart chuckled. "Gaara..."
"No wait, you're Flint Marko!" said Oscar.
"Polo!" Bart called out.
Oscar laughed and high fived him.
"Enough! Just stop it you dummies!" Monkey seethed.
Anyhoo they head to the antechamber of the temple and Bart stupidly touches something.
"Do not touch anything..." Monkey groaned. "You'll set off a trap..."
Bart sighed and pouted.
...
At the barbecue. Oscar had to deal with the Dragon born.
Oscar winced.
"Fus Ro Daaaaaaaah!" The hero of Skyrim yelled sending him flying backwards.
"Shablahaaaaaa!" Oscar yelled firing ki energy from his hands.
Bart winced.
"Now to see if you can still put character models in doorways and slam the door on them and watch them ragdoll..." said Oscar.
"Oh yeah you can still do that..." Bart smirked.
"What joy do you get out of watching character models flail about..." Hugo sighed.
"It's hysterically funny..." Oscar giggled.
He then sat down to watch bizarre movies.
"And now back to Don Knotts, in Too Many Ostriches.
"Why are there so many ostriches? The brochure said there'd only be a few! This is a terrible vacation!"
Oscar laughed.
Bart winced.
Oscar then flicked through the movie channels.
"And now the latest James Bond film. James Bond has AIDs." said the announcement.
Bart winced.
"What? It makes total sense! He sleeps around..." said Oscar.
"Kids we're holding a family barbecue, not a movie marathon... take you keisters outside and get some food..." said Marge.
Oscar sighed and switched off the TV. He went outside.
Lisa from before season seven was annoying modern Lisa. By eating bacon.
"Mmmmm! Bacon..." Lisa moaned with joy while eating bacon.
Lisa of the present glared at her.
"You don't know what you're missing..." said Lisa from before she became vegetarian.
Meanwhile Tomba was biting Spider Pig. Spider Pig squealed.
"Tomba stop that!" Homer yelled at the pink haired boy wearing green shorts.
"Why is Tomba here..." Bart sighed.
"Why not...?" Oscar grinned.
...