The Saga of Carl With Iceland, both the supermarket and the country, Eric the Red, Lief Erickson and Bart and Lisa obsessed with a dumb new cartoon called Ki Ya Karate Monsters. And correcting weird childish Lisa.
Plot
The title gag zooms in on the P in The Simpsons.
The couch gag is Homer as a flounder, Marge is an octopus, Bart is a clownfish, Lisa is a seahorse and Maggie's a starfish. The couch is underwater. Suddenly a giant Blinky eats them.
...
"It's been a brilliant night of women's tennis with Petrevkova narrowly edging Mashakova. We take you now to doubles action between Pavlyuchenkeka-Vilnikova and Strakova-Mishtnupetrateva." said The commentator of a tennis game Homer was watching as all the Russian ladies with extremely long names were playing.
(laughs) "To me, it's legs versus boobs." Homer giggled.
(More horrendously long Russian names, and um pavlovas. Mmmmmmm... pavlovas...)
Bart and Lisa ran down. "What the...?" said Homer.
"Change the channel!" They demanded.
"But I'm watching soft-core tennis." Homer groaned.
"Ki-Ya Karate Monsters!" Bart and Lisa yelled.
"What the hell is that?" Homer asked.
"It's our favorite show. Mom said we could watch it." said Bart. No it's not, it's Itchy and Scratchy.
"Did she really say that?" Homer asked frowning.
"Are you gonna walk upstairs and ask her?" Bart asked.
(thunder rumbles) Ominous thunder and lightning as Homer looks up at the very long steep staircase.
"No." Homer gives up and let's the kids watch their cartoon.
(theme song playing) "From a Shaolin monastery in darkest Transylvania come helpful hell-spawn. With homicidal honor, they rampage for peace. Ki-Ya! Ki-Ya! Ki-Ya!" There was a ridiculous cartoon about karate and classic horror monsters like Werewolf, The Mummy and Count Dracula but they were martial arts warriors.
"You like this now? What about Planet Jackson and the Earth Brigade?" said Homer.
"Dad, we don't watch that show anymore." said Bart.
"It's for babies." Said Lisa.
Maggie was playing with an atlas globe headed character. Possibly Planet Jackson. She sadly tossed away the toy.
"Planet power!" yelled the Planet Jackson toy.
Eric babbled and gurgled.
Again this is stupid! Lisa loves educational stuff and hates moronic flavour of the month gimmicky shows! What have you done to Lisa?!
"Hey! Your show is Itchy and Scratchy!" said Homer.
"Not anymore." said Bart.
Scratchy groaned. "Oooooooh!"
"They abandoned us!" Itchy yelled.
"The show's getting stale and running out of ideas again..." said Lisa watching Ki Ya Karate monsters.
...
(Bart and Lisa grunting) Bart and Lisa are tossing food at each other at dinner. Hugo winces and frowns when he gets splattered with food.
"Kung Fu Werewolf chop!"
"Blob Jitsu kick!"
"Stop it. No Karate Monsters at the dinner table." Marge scolded a Bart and Lisa. "And Lisa I am shocked at your behaviour young lady!"
"It's Ki-Ya Karate Monsters." said Bart and Lisa obsessed.
At bath time. Marge was in the bathroom washing Bart's hair, um He's old enough to bathe on his own...
"Samurai shampoo blast!"
"Ninja throwing soap!" Lisa squirted shampoo at Bart and he tossed soap at her.
"No Karate Monsters in the bathtub." Marge snapped.
"Ki-Ya Karate Monsters." Bart and Lisa yelled obsessed.
The Simpsons went to the retirement home to visit Grampa on his birthday.
"Happy birthday, Dad." said Homer.
"Happy birthday, Grampa." said Lisa giving him a violent birthday card featuring the Ki Ya Karate monsters.
(Grampa gasps) "Did this really happen?" Grampa asked.
Marge face palmed.
"Pill attack!"
"Actual sword attack!" Bart unsheathed a samurai sword to attack Lisa with!
"Cooooooool!" said Oscar.
"I've had it." Marge snapped. "No more Karate Monsters!"
"Ki-Ya..." said Bart and Lisa but she glared at them.
(grumbles) "That's it. Tomorrow, we're doing something educational. We're going to the science museum." said Marge.
"Damn it!" Bart groaned. "Lisa back me up here!"
"No can do, peanut brain. Hooray for science!" Lisa cheered.
However the science museum had a Ki Ya Karate monsters exhibit...
(Bart and Lisa laughing repeatedly) (both grunting) They fought as the family went past the Ki Ya Karate Monsters exhibits. Hugo winced at their obsessions.
(sighs) "Finally, actual science." said Marge as they left the Ki Ya Karate monsters exhibit.
(both groan) Bart and Lisa! Groan. Oh my god!
"Get the hell out of my sister's genius brain you moronic cartoon!" Hugo snapped at obsessed Lisa.
"You did it, baby. You promised no fun, and you delivered." said Homer to Marge, kissing her.
(French accent): "Ah, hello there. I am Blaise Pascal, inventor of the probability theory. What are the odds of meeting you here? Excellent, I would say." said Blaise Pascal.
(ding) A cartoon squirrel arrived.
"My friend Silly Squirrel is about to buy a lottery ticket." said Pascal. "Silly Squirrel, do you know the probability of winning the lottery?"
"I don't know." said the cartoon squirrel.
"Why, you are more likely to be run over by a car." Silly gets ran over. "Or be hit by lightning." Silly gets zapped by lightning. "Or murdered by an acquaintance." Another squirrel stabs him. "If you understood probability, you would never play the lottery."
(laughs) Blaise Pascal laughed.
"How wonderfully informative!" Hugo sighed happily while wearing geeky Wee Monsieur clothes and glasses.
"Borriiiiiing!" Bart and Lisa groaned and yawned.
...
At Moe's.
"Homer are you taking part in this week's lottery?" Moe asked.
"I dunno. Blaise Pascal said there's a higher chance of being ran over or struck by lightning than winning the lottery." said Homer.
"He's a mathematician..." Hugo explained.
"Homer since when have you gone nerd on us? Oh that time you were obsessed with Thomas Edison..." said Moe.
"Yeah snap out of it Homer." said Lenny.
"Oh okay. But Marge might not approve of me gambling..." said Homer imagining her yelling "Thou shall not gamble!" In a thinking cloud.
"Homie I couldn't care less anymore... it's your afterlife..." said Marge at home. Bart and Lisa were running around screaming about Ki Ya Karate monsters.
"OJ okay. I'm in! Here's my numbers." said Homer.
"Let's each pick one number and put in one ticket with all our numbers on." said Carl.
They agreed and in canon they won.
Fir the rest of the night, Moe explained he would have been quadruplets but he killed his siblings in the womb and said something about The Hunger Games.
"The Hunger Games!" Oscar screamed. "Oh crap! Longbow girl! Gaaaaah!" He got shot by the main character with a Longbow. Don't worry it's part of a gag. He's fine.
The numbers were read out.
"And the winning numbers are... three, 19, 22 and 69." said Kent.
(chuckles) Homer laughed because he chose the number 69 because it was funny to him.
"Oh, my gosh. We won. We won the Springfield Lottery." Moe gasped.
(cheering)
"That's 200 grand." sId Moe.
"That's 50,000 bucks each!" said Lenny.
(all cheering)
"Guys, guys, we got to celebrate, throw a raging party!" said Moe calming his friends.
"I'll cash the ticket." said Carl. Spoilers! He doesn't he runs off to Iceland, the country not the supermarket, with it.
"Homer, Homer, you get the food." said Moe to Homer.
"I'll get mini Dumpsters of wings from Garbage Wings." said Homer.
"That place is terrible! The mini dumpsters of wings should have little plastic hobos or Clownjas in them!" Oscar ranted.
Hugo face palmed.
,And, Lenny, you get the drinks." said Moe.
"But we're already at a bar." said Lenny.
"Oh, no. That's just gasoline and hot dog water." said Moe.
"Eeeeeeeew!" The barflies groaned.
...
Anyway the rest of the first act is Carl screwing them over and going back Home to Iceland. The country.
"Carl is from Iceland?!" Homer asked.
"Dad I thought you knew all about your friends." said Hugo.
"Us guys don't ask about personal stuff!" said Homer. "We talk about guy things like sports, the hot weather girls on channel six! And Who'd you rather date games!"
"So Carl is from Iceland." said Moe.
"That's where Superman's Superman cave is!" said Homer being stupid.
"No! That is the fortress of solitude! You fat twit!" Hugo snapped.
"Oh oh oh! No it's that chain of British supermarkets that specialises in frozen food and was advertised by Kerry Katona until she lost her nose to snorting coke!" Oscar chipped in.
"No!" Hugo screamed annoyed. "Iceland is a very cold country in Europe about here... just north of Scandinavia..." He showed them all where Iceland was on a globe.
"We'll have to go there and pulverise Carl for stealing our lottery money!" said Moe angrily.
"Yeah!" said Lenny.
"We can't!" said Homer abruptly.
"Why not?" said Lenny.
"Because Iceland hates me!"
"Why?" Lenny asked.
"It's a long story..."
"Shortly before Sideshow Bob disguised as Walt Warren bought the Brown house next to mine. I remortgaged my house with Iceland collateral to buy the Brown House, for some nonsensical reason! But Sideshow Bob bought it. Anyway my check must have bounced or something because Iceland's economy collapsed and now I'm public enemy number one over there!" said Homer.
"Okay..." said Moe.
"It's continuity! Deal with it!" said Comic Book Guy.
"Everyone just uses that brown house as a bathroom." said Green hat guy.
"Well don't! That's what the blue houses are for!" Hugo ranted.
Homer scoffed. Oscar is playing Simpsons tapped out.
"Why are you building loads of blue houses?!" Homer yelled.
"Cheating the game out of its fictional money..." said Oscar.
Homer seethed.
"What? Everyone does it..." said Oscar.
"Play the game properly!" Homer yelled.
Oscar glared at him.
...
Carl returned to Iceland where people have long unpronounceable names, polar bears attack regularly. Polarchucks cause avalanches by yodelling and the food is disgusting! Ie reindeer meat (Poor Rudolph!) and fermented shark fin. Eeeeeeew!
A Polarchuck, a cartoon polar bear cub yodelled.
Carl spoke to his old friends in Icelandic/Norse. He told them he robbed his stupid American friends of their lottery winnings.
The Icelandic people laughed heartedly.
At Moe's.
Lenny lamented that he was gonna spend his share of the winnings building a swimming pool.
"How in ground?" Homer asked.
"So in ground!" said Lenny.
"You live in an apartment..." Hugo sighed.
"I moved back to my shack where I sit around in my underwear all day..." said Lenny.
"Well I was gonna be a guy obsessed with a Hot sauce! Hot sauce pants, hot sauce bolo tie!" said Homer.
Hugo frowned because he felt Dad should put the money towards something useful.
Dracula mansion, Grimly Hills, Stork, Horror Hollows.
Ace, Oscar's vampire class mate is watching Ki Ya Karate monsters. Loud music blares from the high octane action packed cartoon.
"Is there anything cooler than a vampire that is also a martial arts master?" Ace cooed while watching the cartoon.
Dracula grimaced baffled by the cartoon his son was watching.
"Well that and liver-eating scarecrows." said Ace's neighbour Katie.
"Enough of the weird nonsense!" Ace yelled flustered.
"Son those humans have made many films about me though!" said Count Dracula. He chuckled like Count Von Count.
Ace sighed slightly peeved." Yes I know Dad..."
Plot 2
At school.
"Hey Jimbo. Fresh shrimp heading this way." said Dolph as Bart was running about hitting his friends with a stick.
"Ki Ya Karate Monsters! Stick attack?" Bart yelled hitting Milhouse.
"Ow!" Milhouse whined.
"What on Earth is he jabbering on about?" Kearney asked.
"Ki Ya Karate Monsters! It's the latest and coolest cartoon!" Bart explained.
"Bart, we've explained numerous times. Cartoons and kids stuff are not cool! Only tattoos and R rated movies are!" said Jimbo.
"We're gonna have to give you a wedgie." said Dolph.
"No guys! Ki Ya Karate monsters is wicked cool! It's got Dracula, Werewolf, Frankenstein monster, the Mummy, the Blob etc fighting ninja zombies with martial arts moves!" Bart whined.
"No it not cool little dude! It's a kids show. Therefore it's automatically lame!" Jimbo explained. "Dolph administer the Wedgie."
"With pleasure." said Dolph.
"Bart we're so disappointed in you. You used to be cool!" said Kearney.
Bart found himself dangling from the flag pole by his underwear.
He groaned softly, humiliated and his underwear chafing as it stretched from his weight.
Cousin Hank seethed and cursed as he cut his own wrists.
Oscar stuck his tongue out at him.
"Oz stop antagonising him!" Hugo sighed.
"Why? He's in the wrong!" said Oscar.
In second grade.
"And in April the 15th 1775 what happened cla- Lisa Simpson!" said Miss Hoover recovered from her depression.
"Book report kick! Hiyaaaaa!" Lisa was also still obsessed with Ki-Ya Karate monsters. She kicked a book flying.
"Miss Hoover. Lisa's crazy!" said Ralph.
"Probably Ralph. Lisa this has been the the eighth lesson running that you've disrupted! I'll be calling your parents in! And stay behind after class for detention!"
Lisa gasped disappointed.
Janey snickered.
...
In fourth grade class.
"Ki ya! Karate monsters!" Bart yelled standing on his desk.
Hugo slumped over his desk mortified.
"Bart for goodness sake sit down!" Mrs Krabappel snapped. Bart obeyed.
"What's he yelling about?" Milhouse asked.
"Oh apparently this cartoon called Ki Ya Karate monsters is trending right now so we're supposed all be screaming about it." said Lewis.
"I love that show!" Ace the vampire kid cheered.
"You do?!" Bart asked smiling.
"Sure! Any show that has vampires and werewolves kicking butt with martial arts and ninja weapons is Coooooooool!" said Ace.
"Well we're Bart's friends so we have to cheer. Ki ya! Karate monsters!" said Lewis as everyone except Martin and Hugo cheered about Ki Ya Karate monsters.
Mrs Krabappel sighed.
Ar home. Teddy is scampering about on his short furry legs.
Marge is polishing the side tables and tops of things.
"Hey. Hey. Marge. Hey. Oh good you're awake. Look, I don't quite know how to say this, but... I pooped in the litter box again." said Teddy.
Marge sighed. "Oz, why did you get a talkative pet..."
"Speaking of which... When is my buddy getting home? We're missing a sniffing session..." Teddy giggled.
"He doesn't get home till three..." Marge sighed.
The cat hissed and spat at Teddy.
"Also the cat is mad I stank out the litter box with my poop..." said Teddy.
Marge saw the litter box. "We need a far bigger litter box..." She grimaced.
"Yeah a cat litter box is too small for a bear cub..." said Teddy.
Marge sighed.
Back in class.
"Children, turn to page-" said Mrs Krabappel.
"Ki Ya Karate Monsters!" Bart yelled.
Mrs Krabappel sighed.
...
At Home. Homer finds everyone in the backyard, wearing their swimming costumes.
"Marge are those pool noodles?" Homer asked.
"Yes we thought we were getting a pool."
"Hey um... Yeah I'm your outdoor pool from Season 6... Bart of Darkness..." said their swimming pool they already had...
Matt seethed and erased the pool.
"I bought an inner tube too..." said Oscar wearing an inner tube.
"No one cares Oz..." said Bart.
"Take them back... Carl stole all our lottery money and went back to Iceland. The country in Europe where he lives..." said Homer.
"I didn't know he was from Iceland!" said Marge.
"I didn't know he was a thief..." said Oscar frowning.
"Well us guys don't really discuss our private lives." said Homer.
"You jabber on about personal stuff to our friends all the time! Why just last week!" Marge ranted.
"Yello? Principal Skinner. Uh huh? Oh dear..." said James Bouvier.
"What is it Jim?" Marge asked.
"Lisa's in serious trouble at school over her Karate Monsters show... and Bart is... well up to his usual pit of trouble. I'm more surprised at Lisa." said James.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.
At Skinner's Office.
"So Mr and Mrs Simpson. Lisa high kicked her maths book, yelling and I quote "Ki Ya Karate Monsters." Then in geography she broke a chair over a students head. I have no choice but to suspend her." said Skinner.
"That's it! No more Karate monsters!" Marge snapped.
"Ki Ya-" Lisa started.
"Enough! You're obsessed with that show young lady! It's affecting your grades!" Marge snapped.
"Oh no! Homer screamed.
"Yes Mr Simpson. I fear this mind warping animated show may turn Lisa into, I dare not say it... Another Bart Simpson..." said Skinner.
"Nooooooooooo!" Homer screamed.
Oscar winced.
"Yes, my sentiments exactly, Mr Simpson." said Skinner.
...
Homer and his friends packed for Iceland.
"I can't believe Carl would do such a thing!" said Marge.
"I can't believe Lisa got suspended.." said Hugo. Lisa was looking at the floor ashamed.
"I can't believe this is not butter..." said Oscar holding a tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
Bart face palmed.
"I can't either Marge but I must accept the is not the man I made friends with." said Homer.
Marge was annoyed about him playing the lottery.
"Why do you hate the lottery? It's my retirement plan." Homer sighed.
"It's a sin!" Marge ranted.
"That reminds me... I have to download The Pet Shop Boys songs to my Mypod..." said Oscar.
Bart made a zip it! gesture.
"I won't be able to sleep without something big taking up all the mattress and pushing me to the end of the bed..." said Marge.
"There." said Homer putting a big walrus plushie on the bed. "Better honey?"
"Oh much better!" said Marge.
"Well, better get packing..." said Homer. He packs his suitcase.
Hugo came in with a ukulele.
"Why are you here Fr-ugo? And why do you have a ukulele?" Homer asked.
"Oh I'm the musical genius and moral compass of the family now that Lisa's brain has been warped by trashy cartoons..." said Hugo.
"It has not! And Ki Ya Karate Monsters is not trashy!" Lisa ranted.
"Lisa I said you can't watch that cartoon until your grades and behaviour at school improves!" said Marge.
Lisa seethed and stomped off to her room.
"Well while Homer's off to the cold icy lands of Iceland. I'm off to Iceland, the British supermarket." said Oscar.
The Simpsons groaned exasperated and face palmed.
"Why does everyone get flustered by my hijinks... It's funny that there's a store named after a country..." Oscar chuckled.
"Oz how about you don't come back from Limey land..." Bart seethed.
"How about you shut up!" Oscar snapped.
...
Homer got in his pink car with Lenny and Moe. Barney had taken up singing or was dealing with imaginary friends, Green hat dude and Larry don't even get a story anymore.
"When we get there boy I'm gonna give Carl such a choking!" Moe snapped.
"I'm gonna chop him into tiny pieces, freeze the pieces of Carl and pour them into a trough urinal." said Lenny.
Oscar winced and gulped.
"Guys we all want to kill Carl but let's not be so morbid... We're burning that bastard at stake." said Homer.
"Or we can hang him while I wear KKK robes..." said Oscar.
"Uh... no..." said Homer.
Meanwhile Oscar got a taxi to the nearest airport and flew to Britain.
In Britain. There are Mary Poppins clones flying about with their umbrellas.
Oscar winced.
Harry Beckwith was kidnapping Oscar's American friends again and trying to force them to speak and spell in the British manner.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
"I'll finish off you uncouth brats lickety-split..." said Harry Beckwith.
Inane Brian winced.
Oscar went to his local Iceland for grocery shopping ant to annoy Kerry Katona.
Kerry was advertising things that were on sale like sausage rolls.
Oscar ripped open a bag of flour and snorted it.
"Loooook! I'm Kerry Katona!" He yelled on camera with flour stains under his nose.
At home.
"So Oscar's never set a foot wrong then..." Bart frowned at the news Oscar was going about trolling celebrities with drug abuse habits in their life. Last week he wouldn't leave Whitney Houston alone.
"When I lambast celebrities it is always factual..." said Oscar.
He then headed home, after buying some frozen sausage rolls.
British Dennis the Menace was beating up SJWs.
"Your dad's Hitler moustache is offensive!" The SJWs cried.
"You are offending me by making him look like Raditz..." Oscar seethed.
Dennis nodded.
...
"See, I bet he flew to Quebec to bring us back authentic French-Canadian sugar pie. (chuckles) I can taste it already." said Homer chuckling as he and his friends made their way to Iceland.
"Mmm. Thanks for the sugar pie, Carl." said Homer in his imagination to an imaginary Carl giving him a sugar pie.
Moe sighed. "Face it Homer, he's scum!"
At home.
"I'm pretty sure it's me that gets accused of gallivanting to bring back foreign food. Remember that time Lisa thought the first thing I did upon escaping the attic was to get on a plane to Switzerland..." Hugo asked his mom and siblings.
"Um... yes dear..." said Marge.
"I like pie!" said Teddy.
Hugo face palmed.
Homer's car.
"Carl is gone, and we're already auditioning replacements." said Nomer.
"This could not be more offensive." said Officer Lou holding a sign saying "The black one."
Meanwhile Oscar flew back to Springfield. He went to Garbage Wings to get some mini dumpsters of chicken wings. Barbecue flavour. He also threatened the staff to include miniature plastic hobos, Oscar the grouches, Topcats or Clownjas in the mini dumpsters.
"Oh great it's that dumpster clown kid..." said a student working there.
"Dumpster Clownjas!" Oscar screamed in madness.
Clownja frowned at him.
Homer's car.
"This is funny. It says here lceland is green, and Greenland is icy." said Homer reading a book on Scandinavian countries.
"The Vikings switched the names to trick everybody." said Moe.
(all laughing) lIt's funny." Homer chuckled.
"That's pretty good." said Lenny.
"Great gag!" said Eric the Red.
"Hey, Vikings, it's still pretty damn cold!" said Homer as they arrived in Iceland via plane.
"I only packed shorts." said Lenny. What an idiot...
Plot 3
At Home Lisa bribed Oscar with a hostess fruit pie to drive Marge insane so she'd go into a neglectful breakdown and let Lisa watch Ki-Ya Karate Monsters in peace.
Oscar set light to Marge with his mind powers and as she screamed on fire he kept repeating "Same as it ever was." Over and over from Talking Heads And the days go by.
Teddy winced.
"Aaaaaaagh! Okay! Lisa can watch her cartoon!" Marge cried.
Lisa smirked deviously and sat down with Bart to watch Ki Ya Karate monsters.
Hugo frowned. "You're still watching that drivel!?"
Lisa hushed him.
Bart was texting Ace.
"What's up? Watching Ki Ya Karate monsters."
Ace was at his mom and Dad's haunted mansion because he is a vampire, watching Ki Ya Karate Monsters.
Jurkle texted "Watching Ki Ya Karate Monsters too! Krav Ma Golem! Woooo!"
Bart rolled his eyes. "Figures the Jewish kid would like that character..."
Ace was drinking a blood flavoured Squishee while watching Ki Ya Karate Monsters.
Marge found Hugo doing homework.
"Sweetie you said you finished your homework!" said Marge.
"I have! This is Lisa's. Because she loves Ki Ya Karate thingamajigs now..." said Hugo doing her homework.
Marge grumbled. "Lisa! Get in here and do your homework!"
"Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was! Same as it ever was!" Oscar repeated.
"Oz stop! Lisa can't throw her studious life away over some dumb cartoon!" said Hugo.
Meanwhile in Planet Jackson.
"Hello children! Ayuck ayuck! Looking after the planet is important! Recycle and put your rubbish in the bin!" said an atlas globe headed character.
"Eeeeheee! Shamone! Hello children!" said Michael Jackson as Captain Planet, or Captain EO.
"Oz he's dead now..." said Hugo.
"He lives on in my heart..." Oscar frowned.
Hugo sighed.
...
Iceland, the country.
"Excuse me, uh, we're looking for our friend." said Homer to a local.
"It's the evil one! Homer! Kill him!" said an Iceland person. They surrounded Homer, Moe and Lenny and pointed guns at them.
Homer screamed.
"Oh great... an angry mob..." said Lenny.
"Wait fellas! We're looking for someone!" said Moe.
The Iceland people of Reykjavik listened because they didn't hate Moe.
"He's, uh... he's about so tall, uh, wears a jacket, he's, um, got no visible tattoos..." said Moe.
"Just say he's black, Moe." said Lenny.
"You say he's black!" Moe snapped. "His name is Carl Carlson."
"Carl Carlson! His family has been hated for 1,000 years." said A villager. "We hate the Carlsons even more than Homer!"
Homer whimpered.
"How do you know about Carl's family?" Lenny asked.
"Our country is very small, very judgmental and very nosy. Ingimar Ogmundsson, how progresses your gonorrhea?" said the villager asking his neighbour.
"It heals, but slowly." said another villager. Eeeeew!
"Why does everybody hate Carl's family?" said Homer.
"Same reason we hate you!" The Iceland villagers yelled.
Homer screamed.
"Kill him!" a villager yelled.
Homer whimpered.
"This is gonna be a long day..." said Mo3.
"Well literally it is, It's summer in the northern hemisphere... The sun never sets during our summer..." said an Iceland villager.
At the Simpsons. Oscar was sat on the brown couch reading his spell book.
Teddy, his living teddy bear thing decided to climb on him and perch on his head.
"How many times have I told you not to sit on my head? Your claws hurt and the last time you sat on my head, you had an 'accident' and took me a week to get it out of my hair." Oscar seethed.
Teddy pouted and climbed down.
...
In Iceland Homer was locked in a cage. Moe and Lenny went to find Carl. They also tried the disgusting food.
"Reindeer meat. Ugh!" said Moe.
Oscar cried and sobbed. "Nooooooo! Poor Rudolph!"
Moe winced at him.
Oscar sobbed.
"Fermented shark fin soaked in urine. Gross!" said Lenny.
Oscar smelt the dish and gagged.
"Ugh!" Moe was repulsed too as he pushed the plate away with distaste.
"You people are sick!" Oscar remarked rudely.
The locals rolled their eyes.
"Aaaaaaaagh! The Black Death! Ugh! It burns my nostrils!" said Oscar with a bottle of Black Death Wine.
"Hold on I think that's alcohol kid." said Moe taking it from Oscar. Oscar frowned.
Moe tried it. "Aaaaaaagh! It burns! It burns!"
"Well it is Icelandic for Burning Wine..." said Lenny.
"Can I have some?" Oscar whined.
"Uh... no..." said Moe.
"Sheep's testicles... ugh!" said Moe.
"Never tried Rocky Mountain Oysters then..." Oscar sighed.
Lenny turned a bit green.
"Why is all the food here disgusting?!" Moe yelled.
"Look I'll just order us some Skyr yogurt and I'll get us some frozen ready meals from the snow outside..." said Oscar he climbed out the window and dug up some boxes of easy cook food. "Mmmmmm! Turkey dinosaurs..."
Moe winced.
"Okay fine! We also catch and cook a lot of fish!" said the staff of the longhouse.
"Fish other than that shark in urine thing,.." Oscar frowned.
"Yes! How about some fresh cod?" the staff asked frustrated with Moe's table.
"Certainly. With chips please." said Oscar.
...
"Why does everybody hate Carl's family?" Homer asked sitting in a cage.
"Here's why." said a man. He told an excruciatingly boring story of why illustrated in old tapestries. "This saga tells of how Carl Carlson's family were the watchmen of the coast, always keeping an eye out for invading hordes."
"Oooooh! I hate long winded origin stories..." said Homer.
"Silence!" an Icelander wearing a sweater yelled.
"Iceland's safety depended on their vigilance. But the Carlsons failed in their duty. The enemy invaded, laying waste to our lava fields." said gonorrhoea guy.
The vikings destroyed the lava fields.
'Burning our sweaters." said a man wearing a sweater.
"Those Monsters!" Oscar screamed angrily. "What? I love sweaters."
Homer winced.
"And feasting upon our tiny horses." said the first guy.
Tiny horses the size of chihuahuas neighed and galloped about.
Oscar laughed.
"They took our women!" said the Iceland guy.
"Yeah the vikings will do that..." said Oscar.
"Apparently, screwing over your friends is in Carl's blood" said Moe.
"That origin story was so boring!" Homer groaned.
"Anyway, how's our food?" a man asked Lenny and Moe.
"I'm sorry but it's awful! Rotten shark that's been peed on?! Yeeeeeuck!" Moe groaned.
"Hey I've seen the junk you Americans eat!" said the man.
"Yeah sure... burgers or shark meat soaked in pee pee... Um... I think I'll go with the burger..." said Oscar.
The locals grumbled annoyed.
Elsewhere Carl was near a geyser, which in Icelandic is called a geysir.
"Gahahahaha! The Earth is horny..." said Carl.
A geyser sprayed hot water upwards.
"Better stay back, Those geysers will boil me up like a lobster..." said Carl.
...
Lisa had a nightmare one night that she'd grow up a loser like Bart, was fat and spent her days watching Jerry all day.
Jerry Springer, not Jenda's new husband.
Jerry the alien screeched a weird alien noice.
"Ugh... this episode sucks..." said adult Lisa.
"Yeah the only good ones are when everyone fights..." said Oscar as a six foot tall rubber chicken!
Lisa sighed laying in her hammock.
Her many, many children poked her.
"Quit it... Quit it!" Fat Lisa groaned. He kids keep poking her. "Quit it! Leave Momma to watch her stories..."
Lisa lived with many children in a rotten shack with an old TV.
Ralph arrived. Hi Lisa! I'm your husband! Ralph!"
Present Lisa woke up sweating and gasping.
"Not yet!" Oscar chloroformed her.
Still in Lisa's nightmare.
"Hi angel pie..." said Lisa.
"Mmmmm... angel pie..." said Teddy, who is now elderly and has grey fur.
Oscar as a six foot tall rubber chicken winced.
"Angel pie?! I would never say something like that?! And why the southern accent?!" Lisq muttered in her sleep.
"No leprechaun! I will not burn our house down!" Ralph was talking to thin air.
"Angel pie... can you take me down to the video store? I wanna rent some movies..." said fat Lisa.
"Uh... not the library?" Ralph asked.
"Books are for squares, Honey..." said Fat Lisa.
Present Lisa woke up sweating and gasping. "Oh Lord Buddha!"
"Mom and Hugo are right! I have got to stop wasting my life watching this Ki Ya Karate Monsters!"
"No Lisa... this is your conscience... keep watching Ki Ya Karate Monsters..." said Bart from his room.
"Bart I know that's you..." said Lisa.
...
The next day.
Baby Eric Simpson was playing with British bearskin hat soldiers while wearing a shirt and a diaper.
Marge was doing chores when she smelt something stinky. Must be Eric's diaper she thought. She put the basket of laundry aside and picked up Eric and smelt him. He stank. Marge sighed and took him upstairs to Maggie's room and laid him on the changing table. She swiftly and expertly changed his diaper.
Marge then let Eric watch Happy Little Elves or something other baby programme.
He was copying a moronic dance the characters were doing and gurgling along.
Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature started sniffing him. In particular his diaper. Eric winced and stood there as Teddy sniffed his diaper.
Meanwhile because Bart and his friends were obsessed with Ki Ya Karate monsters. They decided to buy martial arts weapons from Herman the one armed man and copy South Park when the main characters and Butters were anime characters fighting with ninja weapons.
Bart had Tonfas, Milhouse had nunchucks, Nelson was dressed as a samurai and kept Power Playing/God Modding (Basically bullshitting his way out of everything and having hundreds of magic powers.) Oscar had throwing stars. Ralph stood in for Butters/Professor Chaos.
"Nelson no! You can't suddenly have the power to turn the army of ninja zombies into beavers..." Bart groaned.
"Well I think Bart should have Katanas, Milhouse has hand tridents, Nelson has a fighting staff like Donatello and I have nunchucks! Cowabunga!" said Oscar.
Bart face palmed.
"Oscar are you being annoying just because I won't let you write diaper fetish stuff with your teddy bear creature sniffing Eric with his big wet shiny black nose?" Bart sighed.
Wayne, Oscar's Wicca friend tossed Fire crackers. They popped and startled Oscar and Bart.
"Godamnit Wayne! Stop that!" Oscar yelled.
Wayne chuckled and threw another.
"Goddammit Wayne, stop throwin' those stupid poppy-things at me!" Oscar yelled.
"Hey! I'm the Jewish kid! Those are my lines, Oz!" said Jurkle the Jewish kid.
"Yes pal, but I'm more of a main character than you." said Oscar.
"Come on and take a look, folks. We've got a lot of knives and guns for sale here." said Herman.
"Herman should totally quote that Tatooine merchant from Star Wars Episode One the Phantom Menace game on the PS1" said Oscar.
"Better stand back boys, I'm about to slash! All my prices!" said Herman the one armed man.
Bart sweat dropped.
Plot 4
They bought their weapons and went into the countryside. Springfield had massive fields and nature and shit to enjoy. Bart and his wannabe ninja friends could copy Ki Ya Karate monsters in peace.
Meanwhile in Iceland, the country.
"But Daddy, I want to discover a country." said Leif Erikkson, a tall, muscular blond Viking warrior to an older wise Viking Jarl with a red beard called Eric the Red.
"No, you have to watch over the village!" said Eric the Red.
"What does that have to do with us chasing after Carl?" said Homer.
"Leif is my favourite Viking. Except for Rolvo from the Loggerheads cartoon. Because he's cute!" said Oscar as he helped Homer, Moe and Lenny chase after Carl for stealing their lottery winnings.
Rolvo from the Loggerheads cartoon winced.
There he is!" Moe saw Carl.
Carl ran but the caught him up.
"It's no use Carl, we're evenly matched." said Homer.
"you'd think he'd be able to vastly out run us. Being black and all." said Moe.
"Oh that is such an offensive stereotype Moe!" said Carl.
"Give us our lottery winnings or we'll... We'll force feed you this rotten shark meat soaked in urine!" Homer yelled holding a polystyrene box with leftovers of urine shark meat inside.
"No! Not the disgusting food of my home country! Okay I'll tell you everything!" said Carl.
Basically the book of the village's history was missing a page and whoever had the missing page would only hand it over if paid handsomely. The missing page, Carl hoped would clear his ancestors names.
Then Carl found out he wasn't related to the Carlson's After all.
"What?!" Carl asked.
"Of course not! You're black! There's no Black people in Iceland." said Mr Carlson.
"I'm sure that's not true..." said Carl.
"Why am I imagining the Ku Klux Klan singing there's no cats in a America but about no blacks in Iceland..." Oscar winced.
"I think you guys have been snorting more crack than Kerry Katona." said Homer.
"Hey!" Kerry yelled.
...
Meanwhile Hugo and James tried to break Lisa out of her mind rotting obsession over Ki Ya Karate Monsters.
"But Ninja Gillman..." Lisa moaned in a trance.
"She's speaking in tongues!" said Ned horrified.
"No... She's just obsessed with a cartoon..." said Hugo.
Elsewhere, Bart and his friends role playing with deadly ninja weapons.
"Hm, this doesn't seem to be the right way. My ninja sense is telling me we might be heading in the wrong direction." said Bart in anime form.
"My Ninja sense tells me we should go and get pizza and eat it in a sewer! Cowabunga!" said Oscar.
"No!" Bart yelled annoyed.
"Okay, hang on guys. I'll use my special power to see into the future and find out where we should head next." said Milhouse in anime form.
"Hold on you guys. I actually have another power. I can see into the future too, but better than Milhouse's. Let me try it." said Nelson.
"God dammit, Nelson! You can't keep making up new powers!" Milhouse yelled.
"Yeah dude, that's like the fifth power you've come up with!" Bart was also annoyed at Nelson.
"I am Bulrog and I have lots and lots of powers." said Nelson.
"No butthole! From now on you only get to have one power! So what is it?!" Milhouse ranted. "Narrator we cannot use South Park's swear filled dialogue..."
"Pussies! Ha!" Cartman laughed.
"I have the power to have all the powers I want." said Nelson.
"That doesn't count, you! You sorry excuse for a bully!" Milhouse yelled. "I get beaten up by Jimbo and his goons more than you these days!"
"Yeah, that it, Nelson! You don't get to have any powers!" said Bart annoyed at him.
"C'mon!" Nelson whined.
"Haaa ha ha ha ha!([he appears with energy bristling all around him) Well well well! If it isn't the four ninjas!" said someone surrounded by Ki energy.
"Who the hell is that?" Oscar yelled.
I dunno. Maris, is that you?" Bart asked.
Oscar laughed. "Maris..."
"It's only funny when I do it..." said Cecil Terwilliger.
(He strikes a pose and does a cape flourish.) "No! It is I! Dark Lord!" said Ralph. "The unitard!"
"Ralph no! Come up with a better villain name..." Bart groaned.
"This is a good villy name! Bwahahahaha!" said Ralph.
"Ralph maybe you're better off playing with your teddies, or in your sandbox with Oscar, Calvin and Butters..." said Milhouse.
"I'll use my powers I suddenly got back to... turn Bart into a chicken! Bleh!" said Nelson.
Bart was a chicken. "Goddamnit Nelson!"
"Now you are a chicken! Nyheheheheha!" Nelson teased him.
...
In Iceland Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl continued their boring adventure to clear Carl's name and prove his ancestors were not incompetent. Despite that it is impossible for him as a black person to have Norse ancestors.
"I was adopted by the Carlsons..." said Carl.
"I'm going on vacation, see ya..." said Oscar leaving then to their devices because their story was boring.
He stopped at a sweater store. "Oooooooh! Warm comfy sweaters!" He went inside to buy sweaters.
Mabel Pines giggled. Oscar smirked.
"I prefer knitting my own sweaters." said Mabel Pines.
Then he went to a restaurant and whined about the disgusting food. Ie reindeer meat and rotten shark meat soaked in urine.
"Yeeeeeeuck! Now I have to find a McDonalds..." Oscar groaned.
Then he went to the spa heated pools.
"Omg! Naked hot spa pool anime scene!" He screamed.
He stripped off naked and climbed in the hot steaming pool.
"Hot spa!" Pit from Kid Icarus screamed with joy and joined him.
"Woooo!" Tai, Izzy, Joey, Matt and TK joined him too.
Shippo was then naked.
"No Shippo! You have to wear trunks! Because your naked getting in hot spa pool scenes were too explicit! I strongly suspect your illustrator is a pedo!" Oscar ranted censoring Shippo's tiny wiener.
Shippo winced.
"Abd the same to you Goten and Trunks!" said Oscar.
"Naked fusion!" They were now Gotenks, naked.
"How the heck does that work?! You're a composite being of two other beings?!" Oscar yelled at naked Gotenks.
"Oz, as an anime character, I'm sure you've had naked hot spa pool or hot tub scenes..." said Tai.
"No... I wear swimming trunks! Pit has his chiton on!" said Oscar.
"I don't want to steam the sacred buns." said Pit.
And thus every anime artist went to prison. For depicting children naked in a volcanic spa pool.
"Will you stop making ne uncomfortable..." Cousin Hank seethed.
Shut up jerk!
...
Meanwhile Hugo flew to Quebec to get a sweet pie. Last week he flew to Switzerland for Swiss cheese.
Hugo winced as he stood in line at the airport.