Thin grass scratched at her palms as she ran her hands on the blades, distantly wondering if they could slice her open. This was something she grew increasingly mindful of each passing moment. What could hurt her? What could cause her to bleed? She avoided touching all paper and glass around the Cullens these days. Without Alice's foresight, she had to be cognizant of such things.

The overcast sky granted a cool shadow over the picnic blanket she was seated on. A wicker basket with cheeses and chilled white wine rested beside her. As did Alice Cullen.

No. Volturi.

A vicious last name for a vicious woman. Bella imagined her with the red eyes that she probably longed for. The gold made her look tame, and unassuming. Unnatural. A reckless part of Bella wanted to see Alice Cullen at her full potential.

Volturi. Alice Volturi.

And a death wish had her taunting the devil. "Do you miss court, Alice?" Bella's tone was light, almost uncaring, as she crossed her legs tightly and stared out at the distance.

Alice's head whipped to her. Her hands had been supporting her as she leaned back on them; a vampire tanning beneath the clouds. The surprise on her face was short-lived, as she redirected her stare back at the sky. "Have you been curious about me, dearest Bella?"

"Your question doesn't answer my question."

Her grin was cruel. "Sign a blood contract with me, and we can talk all you want."

Because everything had a price. "A Cullen doesn't drink human blood."

A beat of silence. One that surely electrified the air around them, but Alice's composure was immaculate. "You're quite talkative," she observed, her golden eyes alight. "Your courage peeks up like this occasionally, doesn't it? It straightens that spine, and joins the game. Very cute."

Bella screwed off the cap on the wine, and poured some in a glass. Plastic, because neither of them had any faith in Edward. "I heard that you attempted to kill the mate of one of your kings."

Alice's smile never left her face. "Rumors."

"Aro Volturi," she tested. "Did you do it for love?"

"Love plays no part in court."

It was such an automatic statement, and it took Bella back to Demetri's visit. "Are you one of those who believe love is a weakness?"

"I don't believe, Bella. I know. Just look at Edward."

Who was late to this appointment. "Edward doesn't love me."

"Did Jasper tell you that?" She scoffed. "Love manifests in different ways."

"Obsession, not love."

"Oh, we're all obsessed with you." Alice leaned forward, resting a hand between them with a challenging smile. "You come around the family, and you taunt us with your blood. You're always just a flick of a wrist away from giving us what we really need. But Edward—he's prepared to tie himself to you for the rest of eternity. Now that—" She smiled up at the sky. "That is love."

Delusional. "Edward doesn't see past my blood."

"Your blood, and your warmth." There was a seductive edge to her tone. "Jasper's really getting the best part of this arrangement, isn't he? Tell me how good it feels when he tears your skin open just to get a little taste."

It was more than a little taste. Bella replied automatically, "It's part of our contract."

"Does he pin you to a wall? A counter? A bed? It was always his style."

The desk, admittedly, was her favorite. "It's however you've seen it in your visions. You know, when you could see."

The taunt did nothing to her. Instead, Alice turned wondrous. "He's been so tight-lipped. Normally, these blood conquests only add to his ego. Is your blood just that good, Bella? Would he even share you?"

"Blood conquests?"

"A willing victim is so much more enjoyable," she mused. "When you consent to being taken by a vampire, it's complete surrender. Mind, body. Soul, if you have one."

Bella had to take a sip of her wine to inject some phony courage. "You're talking about sex."

A smirk. "Sex and power. When it comes down to it, our worlds are just the same, aren't they?"

Bella barely understood the trajectory of this conversation. But before she could veer them in a direction with answers and clarity, Alice's head snapped up. Her eyes narrowed as she listened, and then suddenly, she was commanding Bella, "On your feet. Straighten that jacket. Tuck your hair back." She took the wine from her and motioned with her hand, sighing hastily. "Look alive."

As Bella quickly wobbled to her feet, Edward made his way through the trees with a wide, pleased smile. He approached the two women, and his eyes were trained on Bella.

He said something about her beauty, and perhaps he said something else, too. Bella didn't quite hear. She merely reached down and snatched the wine from where Alice had placed it and continued to drink lightly. The man in front of her was just a haze, and if he just kept talking, she wouldn't have to say much.

Eventually, they sat, side by side. Alice was up and roaming about the field, turning back to them on occasion with a look that told Bella her lack of participation was unacceptable.

Another sip of wine, and Bella didn't care.

But a certain string of words caught her attention immediately when he uttered them.

"I know you're upset."

When she turned her head towards him, he perked up.

"Your change is the last thing I want, Bella."

She took another sip, the wine souring on her tongue.

Same conversations, same outcome. The only thing she wanted to go differently today was the marks on her skin. She preferred none.

Soon, Bella heard him sigh. "I will make you forgive me. I promise you."

She poured another drink, and watched Alice instead.

Her shield had been a blessing—there was no doubt about that. It prevented Edward from getting her alone, if he continued to listen to Alice.

But it also prevented any semblance of a confrontation. With another Cullen constantly on the watch around them, Bella couldn't get Edward to be alone enough to tell him, I know you won't want me when I'm dead. Don't do this. Don't let Carlisle do this.

But playing to his emotions would ultimately lead to a dead end. The golden child had to meet expectations, didn't he?

So, Bella kept to sipping, and didn't say a single word. If she would be miserable, there wasn't any reason why he shouldn't be too.

By the time the sky was darkening, Bella was thoroughly under the influence of an entire bottle of wine. It was a good thing, because she barely felt the kiss that Edward placed on her lips. Maybe he had even told her that he loved her. Maybe she had said something in return; she really hoped it had been something mean.

A distant part of her marveled at how Edward even had the audacity to touch her. But the wine kept her above the clouds. The soft smile on her lips pleased Alice.

When she was dropped off at home, Bella found herself on her bed. The spins threatened to keep her there, and she let her eyes close. In that faint darkness beneath her eyelids, she still saw her red orb, and it filled her with immense pride.

The next time she opened her eyes, it was darker, and her mouth was dry. She reached for her phone, and texted the only person who understood.

I've figured out a way to tolerate my "boyfriend."

The response was quick, as always. A miracle.

Bella snickered, and replied simply with, Not a miracle. Wine.

She shut her eyes momentarily because the blue light was making her nauseous. Damn, she thought. She really should have eaten those cheeses with the wine. It would have helped her tolerance.

Eventually, she unlocked her phone again, and shot Jasper another text. Will you come over?

He didn't respond. But a few minutes later, just when Bella began pouting at her phone, she heard her window budge.

"Alice was hoping the alcohol would loosen you up," was the first thing he said after materializing before her.

She shrugged. "She was probably hoping my shield would tumble down, too."

"Did it?"

She only smiled, and then felt the chill of the open window. Clawing at her comforter, she peeled it back and snuggled inside.

"I've never seen you happier," he noted.

Bella laughed. "It's because I'm dead inside."

"And drunk."

She rolled her eyes dramatically, and then lifted the comforter. "Come here." And when he didn't budge, she added, "I have a fever."

"No, you don't."

"You can't prove that until you touch me." She lifted the comforter higher with emphasis. "Come on. I don't have all night."

"It's morning."

"Shit. Really?"

He actually laughed, and it was actually mind blowing. Bella stared at him, marveling at the sparkle in those red eyes. She wanted to see more of it. "Jasper?"

"Mm?"

"Smile."

And he did. Bella dropped the comforter, letting it bunch down. She dug herself deeper into it, her eyes trained on him. There was too much to admire. "That's okay. You can just stand there."

Jasper came closer, crouching low at her bedside until he was eye-level. "Drunk, delectable Bella."

"Better than gloomy, depressing Bella."

"The drinking," he said. "Don't make it a habit."

"Why? Does it make for bad blood?"

His eyes narrowed slightly. "Yes."

Bo-ring. "Just admit you care about me, and move on." She rolled on her back. "These games are silly. I'm twenty, not sixteen."

"Good. I'd be in a very questionable situation if you were underage."

She peeked at him conspiratorially, the corner of her lip rising. "Do you always make sure that your blood conquests are of age?"

"Blood conquests," he repeated, tasting the words. The surprise was evident. "We've talked about this. Age tends to go hand-in-hand with health."

"And so does flexibility, and endurance."

Now, he placed strong hands on the comforter, rising from his crouch. "For what?"

She hoped the giggles that fell out of her mouth were appropriate. "I think I'd like to sign-up for my vampire sex education class."

"You don't seem like a good student."

She really wasn't. Not anymore. Peeking at the clock, she did indeed confirm that it was 2 AM. "I have a midterm today, and I didn't study for it."

"Instead, you're wine-drunk, taunting a vampire to your bed?"

She gave him a look, but she had trouble keeping it. "You think I'd give it all up with a sweetheart and cold lips on my neck?"

"You wouldn't?"

She barely believed herself when she replied, "No."

"Good for you."

It didn't seem like he believed her either. And why would he, when she was already flushed up to her cheeks, her legs restless beneath the covers? She really needed someone to hold them down.

The boldness in her was surely fueled by the poison when she stated, "You've fucked humans before."

There was no hesitation or pause when he replied, "Yes."

Bella was usually grateful for her shield, but the fact that she had rendered Jasper incapable of feeling that sudden spike of jealousy was especially relieving. She sat up and rested her back against the headboard, studying him. "I want to know more."

Jasper appeared at her desk chair, resting comfortably. "By all means, ask."

But did he have to be so far away? "Have you killed any of them? Any of your… partners?"

"Two."

She hadn't expected a number above zero. "Out of?"

He grinned, and there was that ego Alice mentioned.

Bella crawled out of bed, steadying herself with a hand on her headboard. "Well?" She got her feet to cooperate as she sauntered over.

"I haven't kept count."

She let out a chuckle. "Spoken like a true gentleman."

When she was close enough, an arm slithered around her waist and pulled her down. It would take a few more seconds before Bella truly realized she was sitting on Jasper's lap.

His breath was at the side of her face. "Do I sense jealousy?"

"You sense nothing."

"Well, I see a blush." One of his hands curled around her wrist. "I feel a beating pulse. Faster." He paused. "And faster. What does it mean?"

"Poor empath. Completely disarmed by a tiny human."

"What does it mean?" A hand squeezed the top of her thigh. "I can't tell if you're scared, excited, or in pain. Relying on your physical reaction hides all complexity of emotion."

She looked him in those red eyes. "It's not really my problem if you're not able to read a woman's body, Jasper."

A thumb was on her face, and it slid down her mouth as his fingers curled around her jaw. "Keep taunting me, Bella."

She laughed, but the giddiness instantly morphed into something electric when she felt his thumb slip between her lips. The pad of his thumb rested on her tongue as she turned wide eyes to his.

"Keep taunting me."

She felt absolutely wicked as she fluttered her tongue, and the grip on her face tightened. Her eyelids were closed as she prepared to hollow out her cheeks, and—

Jasper's thumb slid out. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and asked, "How am I supposed to tell you how I'm feeling if you stick your fingers down my throat?"

The gravel edge to his voice was divine. "Tell me what you're feeling."

"I'm feeling…" She got up momentarily, and threw a leg over him with all the intention to straddle him. But when she lowered herself back down, her eyes widened as she felt all of his ego. "Jesus, Jasper. Is this how you killed those two poor humans? By splitting them open?" When he began laughing, she swatted him on his chest. "Tell me."

"I've never split open a human." Hands snaked up her body, one resting on her hip, and the other on her back. "But I have broken a pelvic bone, and snapped a spine."

"During sex?"

"During sex."

Bella wasn't even remotely sober, but her body was on alert at the potential of danger. "You wouldn't die from just breaking your pelvic bone."

"No, but add in a snapped spine, and I quickly decided that she'd rather die than try to live through it. This was 1864."

Oh. Two injuries, same girl. "And the other one?"

"1870. I bit her, and let too much venom slip through. I felt her pain before she even started screaming."

She didn't hide her shock. "You changed her?"

"I had started the process, but I couldn't let it complete. I killed her very soon after."

Bella swallowed. "Is biting common during sex?"

"Blood triggers sex. Sex triggers blood. It's just a discussion of starting point."

"Is this why feedings are naturally seductive?"

"Naturally," he affirmed.

Bella thought about that, resting her hands on his shoulders. "This is assuming that the human knows you're a vampire, right?"

"Not necessarily."

"What? How? That seems like a stupid way to be exposed."

He tilted his head in acknowledgment. "When reduced to your animal, even humans bite each other. It's not unusual for a partner to sink their teeth in."

"Yes, but we don't aim to draw blood, let alone drink it."

"In the moment, they can't tell the difference. Unethical, sure. But no less pleasurable." He leaned back in the chair, shifting them slightly. "This is also why a willing partner who is aware of the feeding is more… preferred. The mutual understanding allows for better communication."

"Those dates you mentioned with those girls…" Bella trailed, trying to rack her brain for the timeline. "The incidents happened very close to when you were changed, right?"

He nodded. "It was during a time of adjustment; a test of control. I haven't had any such incidents since." And then, he leaned forward, his eyes suddenly piercing. "Tell me what you're feeling."

"A little intrigued. A little scared."

"A good balance." There was utter seriousness in his expression when he told her, "Sex can take a dangerous turn very quickly, Bella. We can lose the gauge on our strength and break bones, or tear muscle. We can forget you need to breathe. We can forget your physical limitations."

"This would explain some of Edward's… failed conquests?"

"And one of mine," he added pointedly.

When he ran a few fingers up her spine, Bella leaned into him. "Whenever you bite me, is that what you're thinking about?"

"Whenever I bite you, all I think about is keeping you alive, unbruised, and healthy. If anything went wrong there, I'd certainly pay."

It was why he was so meticulous.

"But the rest of the time," he continued, lazily gripping her thigh, "I think about these thighs around me." His hand came up again, thumb swiping down slowly over her mouth. "And these lips parted the way they are every time I tear into your wrist." He grinned at her. "You enjoy the bite more than you realize."

The timbre in his voice had her moving her hips against him. "And that's just one bite zone."

"Correct." His hand turned her head to the side, exposing her neck further. "Do you see how easy it would be?"

Too easy.

And then, both of his hands gripped her hips, steadying her. "Your father is awake."

"So you can hear these things." She was melting at the strong fingers that dug into her. She wanted to feel them on her bare skin, and not just through these stupid jeans. And she wasn't ashamed about any of it. The alcohol helped. "I'd like to tell you that I'm embarrassed, but I'm not."

"Perhaps you should be embarrassed," he said, dragging his nose down her neck. "You're getting engaged in two days to another man. So why do I feel how wet you are for me?"

Bella groaned. "You're filthy." She tried rocking her hips against his grip. "How do you even feel that?"

"I feel everything."

"Not everything." Her orb was there. She checked—somehow, through this delicious haze.

"Your scent changes when you're aroused. The moment you started crawling to me on that grass, I knew instantly what to look for. I don't need my gift for such basic emotion."

Bella rolled her eyes. "A woman straddles you, and you've just realized that she's aroused? This is admittedly disappointing." Her hips tried to dance and move for some friction, though he held her still. "But you can still make up for it."

He turned his head to the side, listening. "Your father's up, and moving about."

She scoffed. "You're not the first man I've had in this bedroom at this hour."

"The men you've had in this bedroom couldn't hear past this room."

She brought her face closer with a daring smirk. "Are you sure that you can?"

His eyes dipped to her lips. Easily, he stood, grasping her by her thighs, and Bella was forced to hug her arms around his neck to prevent herself from toppling backwards. He walked over to her bed and laid her down.

"Is this the part where you remedy my disappointment?" Bella asked as he hovered over her.

"This is the part where you shower, sober up, and go to sleep."

She gave him a look. "You wind me up and leave me hanging. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were just like—" She stopped herself, immediately biting her lip.

"Finish your sentence." When she didn't respond, it was clear that he understood where her mind had been going. "Edward rarely touches you, because he risks killing you."

"And you?"

He sighed sharply. "Your bed is too small. Your walls are too thin. And if your father doesn't try to shoot me, I'd need a very good explanation for why a red-eyed man—who is not Edward—is in your bedroom at almost 3 in the morning."

They all sounded like excuses to her. In all seriousness, she told him, "You'd know he'd be coming before he opened the door."

There was utter strength in the way his hands dug into the comforter on either side of her face. So much so that Bella was afraid that it would begin to rip.

The frustration he felt was clear when he gritted out, "I'd barely hear him. Not when you're wrapped around me with my teeth in your neck." He slipped away from between her legs, and stalked over to her window. He pointed at her bedroom door. "Sober up."

Bella pushed herself up to sit, resting back on her hands. "Well, you're right about the shower." With heavy, trudging sarcasm, she added, "I'll try not to scream your name too loud in there, don't worry."

The tension seemed to slightly ease in his body. Yet in the dim light, his eyes were undoubtedly dark. They were the last thing she saw before he disappeared into the night.

And when Bella brought her hands up to her lips, she quickly, soberly realized that he hadn't even kissed her.

"Pencils down."

Bella's pencil had been down for the last fifteen minutes. She had hardly filled out half of the exam, even resorting to doodling on certain pages. She hadn't had the courage to just get up and leave part way through the midterm. So, she had sat there, staring distantly at the exam packet, hoping to appear in thought, and not look entirely dumbfounded.

As she turned the papers in, Monica greeted her. Monica—who she hadn't seen for weeks. There was brief small talk about the frosty weather—so unusual. Global warming. It's terrible!—and then, a more concerned look came upon the girl. Monica pulled her aside, and expressed how she hadn't seen her in class, and Bella hadn't been responding to their group texts, and she never joined their study groups. Oh, and Chemistry was hard.

Chemistry was hard. But harder, when you hadn't opened the textbook in weeks. Bella had barely wanted to show up today, especially after her little drunken rendezvous with Jasper in the middle of the night. But at 8 AM, she walked into the lecture hall and decided to at least attempt to not get her first 0 on a major exam.

Jasper's presence just a few hours before had certainly lifted her spirits. And the shower after had calmed her to a point of bliss. Momentarily, she had forgotten just how doomed she really was.

Monica's ramblings eventually muted, as Bella suddenly found herself staring at her neck. Each word, each swallow contorted the muscles, bunched the skin, and then smoothed it out. When Monica cocked her head to the side, it only opened up the real estate. So much real estate. It only dragged Bella back to daydreams she'd really rather be alone for.

You're getting engaged in two days to another man. So why do I feel how wet you are for me?

Another "Bella," and Bella snapped out of it. The following words came at her, "You should talk to someone."

Like a therapist? She already had one. He had rubies for eyes, and teeth sharper than knives. "I'm fine, Monica."

The girl was unconvinced, predictably. Loosely crossing her arms, Monica only sighed. "Well, do you and Edward have any plans for Valentine's? You're still together, right?"

Shit. "Yeah." She looked away. "I need to head home, but I'll see you later."

Monica grabbed her shoulder before she could turn. "The deadline is the 15th for the transfer application—you've submitted it, right?"

"Yeah," she lied, "Say hi to your mom." And then, she weaved through the groups of students. She'd walk all the way home, she decided, while the exercise still mattered.

The next day, Bella entered the Cullen home to find Esme in the living room. It was unusual to see her not fussing about in the kitchen.

And immediately, a wave of embarrassment flooded her. She approached the sectional. "Is Alice here?" She had been summoned for a dress rehearsal for tomorrow's big event. Who even had a dress rehearsal for an engagement?

Esme smiled in greeting. "No, she went off with Jasper."

Jasper. This was so awkward. "Is anyone else home?"

"No."

As Bella lingered, she began fidgeting with her hands. "About, Jasper, Esme..."

She held up a hand. "You don't need to explain anything to me, Bella."

"I know. It just doesn't feel right."

Her composure cracked, the smile fading away. "I understand the position you're in."

"You do?"

"And if Jasper's a better alternative…"

"He's not an alternative, Esme," Bella said immediately. "He's just… support." She didn't even know how she would clarify their relationship, but at least they had one tangible thing to point to: their contract. But that wasn't something she was going to share with her. "Jasper's been very helpful with all the vampire world building. It's a terrible story, with probably a terrible ending, but… at least the lore is fascinating."

Esme's eyebrows drew together, delicate fingers coming up to rest on her necklace. "You don't have to have a terrible ending."

That was when the anger slowly began to replace the sorrow. She declared vehemently, "There is no happy ending with Edward Cullen."

The grip on her necklace tightened.

"I accept his proposal tomorrow, because I have no other option. Alice will kill my mother if I don't go through with it."

Esme wasn't looking at her, but the horror was unmistakable on her face.

"It isn't fair, is it?"

"If this isn't the family you see yourself with," she said, her voice strained. "If this isn't the lifestyle you want—"

"You speak like I have a choice," Bella spat.

Momentarily she closed her eyes, and then blinked them open. "We can only have one bond. One." Wide eyed, Esme's eyes bore into hers. "One."

And then, Esme disappeared. In another blink, she was by the stairs, with a book in her hand. She placed it on the kitchen island, flipping quickly to a page.

Bella approached warily. The book, with its blacker-than-black covering and rustic text, was assuredly the Vampiric Tome.

"One," Esme repeated.

"One," Bella acknowledged, eyebrows drawing. She stepped closer to the Tome, noticing that it was open to a section towards the end. The title read, Matehood.

Before she could read anymore, Esme closed it and stuck it in Bella's hands. "Go. Read upstairs."

The urgency in her tone added to the kick in her step as Bella began climbing the stairs. She heard the front door open a moment later, and she didn't turn around to see who it was.

It wasn't surprising that her feet had immediately led her to Jasper's library. She closed the door behind her, feeling the heavy weight of the book drag her down. Her heart was beating wildly at the effort it took to lug it up all of those stairs. She approached Jasper's desk and took a seat.

Pausing momentarily, she let her eyes roam the area. She noted how the room felt entirely empty without him.

Flipping open the cover, she located the Matehood section, and began reading.

And not fifteen minutes later, her skin was buzzing. There was an unexplainable jolt of energy that ate her up and left her shivering. It was the feeling of anticipation and dread. Of possibility, and failure.

Her eyes still on the text, she opened the second drawer of the desk, and pulled out the creased paper that was their contract. She smoothed it open and read it once through.

And then, she pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. Grasping a pen, she wrote. She wrote with such ferocity that she felt the ache in her knuckles. Black ink dotted her fingertips by the time she was done, the print not nearly as elegant as Jasper's.

But it would do.

Quickly, at the very bottom, she signed her name.

A/N: This chapter: Blood conquests, Jasper's... weaknesses? And what was that at the end?

Oh, and he didn't even kiss her. How dare I.

A little taste for what's coming up:

And she didn't say a word as he slipped the diamond ring—big, daunting, and heavy—onto her finger.

It fit fucking perfectly.

See you next week.

Blu