After playing a grueling game of doll with Alice, Bella sat at the sectional in the living room, staring vaguely at the open kitchen. Esme was nowhere to be seen, and the house felt deserted.
She had left the paper in Jasper's drawer for him to find, but she couldn't bring herself to leave. She wanted to face him directly, she decided. But the courage she felt seemed to dwindle with every passing moment.
Another twenty minutes went by with no movement in the house. It was late enough in the day that part of Bella expected Esme to waltz in and offer to start dinner. But a half an hour later, Bella was convinced that no one was coming.
So, she went over to the kitchen and began to dig through the produce in the fridge. Her paranoia had her hand-peeling the lettuce, and she avoided anything that required slicing. Grabbing a large bowl, she began putting in random vegetables that she could snap and peel with her fingers.
The front door opened just as she snapped a carrot into two, and her heart almost leapt to her throat when she saw Jasper walk in. Silently, he joined her in the kitchen, observing her impromptu dinner preparation.
"Where's everyone else?" Was the first thing she asked him.
He stared at the ceramic bowl she was using. "Carlisle and Edward are hunting. Rosalie's in New York."
"New York?"
"She'll be back for tomorrow, don't worry."
Bella cringed immediately, snapping the carrot into another half and tossing it into the mix.
"Emmett might be with her," he continued. "I'm not sure. I saw Alice running south."
The place was, as she had suspected, empty. "So, you're telling me I could have chopped myself some tomatoes and lived?"
He ran a hand through his hair, slightly exasperated. "I can take you home. I don't know why you stayed."
"I stayed because I wanted to talk to you."
Jasper looked at her expectedly, and that was when Bella noticed the tiredness in his eyes. There was undoubtedly tension in those shoulders. Another closer look, and she saw a rip in the side of his shirt, and mud on the hem of his jeans.
"What were you out doing?" She asked.
"Three nomads insisted they wanted to come by the house, and Carlisle and Edward saw it as a training exercise. It should have been a fair fight between the three of us, but both Cullens backed out the moment one of them latched on with their teeth." He bent his arm upwards, pointing at the skin right beneath the elbow. The crescent-shaped indents glistened, unlike the others on his arms that appeared faded. "I had to take care of all three."
Bella stared at the teeth marks. A vampire bite. A fresh scar.
"That'll stay forever," she murmured.
"Yes."
And the Cullens were cowards. "I can't believe they deserted you."
"For a family who values appearances as much as them, it's never surprising to me. A mating scar is their limit; anything more is a social disaster."
"That's silly. I think you need a few scars to learn." She reached down and tapped her left knee. "I have one prominent one here. I fell right onto a cement sidewalk, and I didn't bother to clean the wound until I got home. It got infected, and I couldn't bend it without terrible, searing pain for days. I could barely walk."
His eyes flicked down to her legs curiously. "You learned the importance of proper wound care."
"I learned it the hard, but effective way," she agreed. "I also learned how dirty and disgusting sidewalks are."
"And you still have the scar."
"Proudly." Bella messed with the salad some more, but she quickly felt that she was losing her appetite. Partly because of the poorly combined, sloppily ripped apart vegetables, and partly because of the piece of paper that was waiting for them upstairs.
As if he picked the thoughts right from her brain, he asked quietly, "What did you want to talk about, Bella?"
Her hands stilled on the counter. "I have a proposal for you."
"A proposal?"
And before she could lose her nerve, she left the salad on the counter and motioned for him to follow her. Up the stairs they went, and Jasper was the one to close the library door behind them after they entered.
Bella took quick and small steps to his desk, a slight tremor in her hands. Jasper, ever so observant, noted, "You're nervous."
Her shield was up, so he was just reading her body.
When she came around his desk, she sat, and yanked open the second drawer. Jasper, at the other end, merely watched as she pulled out a folded piece of paper. And then, as if it was on fire—as if she couldn't bear to hold onto it any longer—she reached across the desk, and offered it to him.
Her eyes didn't leave his as he took it and unfolded it. The exhaustion in his eyes began to resolve as he stared at it for merely five seconds before stating, "Half."
"Half," Bella quickly acknowledged, just a little breathless. "That's what the Tome said."
"I'm aware of what the Tome says," he said carefully. "You would get half of my years."
He was considering it. A bolt of agency slammed through her veins. "Tell me your thoughts, Jasper. Please."
He didn't speak. His gaze was still on the paper, but she knew he was done reading it. He could have read it twenty times by now. Bella pressed her hands into the desk, the pressure on her palms keeping her somewhat grounded.
"I understand your motive," he said eventually, tossing the paper onto the desk. "Given the circumstances, you would rather be mated to anyone but Edward."
"And it would reduce your sentence."
"But you would serve the remaining."
A pesky, unimportant detail. "Servitude comes with a number that will eventually count down to zero. But being mated to Edward is for life."
His gaze lifted to her, raw, and powerful. "It's for life with me too, Bella."
She blinked at him, but before she could open her mouth, he continued, "We bond, and you'll serve half of my sentence alongside me. But after those fifty years, the bond doesn't just dissolve."
"I know."
"You know. But have you really considered what that means?"
Strongly, she told him, "Anyone and anything would be better than my fate with the Cullens. With Edward. And I know that every relationship is a transaction, so I'm offering you a contract. You save me from Edward, and I reduce your sentence."
Jasper took a few steps to the chair in front of the desk and lowered himself onto it. His exhaustion seemed to come back twofold as he sunk down. He threw a hand towards the contract that lay on the desk between them. "The mating bond is eternal."
"I'm aware. We've already had this lecture." And then, urgently, pleadingly, she added, "I know it's not a fair trade. I know a mere reduction to your sentence doesn't equate to giving me eternity. I know that." Sighing, she sat back at his chair. "But you have a way out."
His eyes lowered to the desk. "Yes. You haven't listed out any terms for dissolution. By default, the contract is void the moment it's destroyed."
"No—that's not what I mean. Yes, you can always back out of this until I turn—burn the contract, rip it to shreds, I don't care. But even after, Jasper. After, if we do this mating thing, if you're not satisfied—"
"Stop."
"I will always prefer that ending over Edward."
"Bella. No."
She shook her head helplessly. "You can kill me and be free of our bond. Or if you can't, you can find someone else to do it. Make it look like an accident—I don't know. But there's always a way out."
"An accident? Our lives aren't fragile. There can be no accident." He shook his head. "And the very fact that you assume I could go through with something like that tells me you don't understand the severity of this bond."
She swallowed, and felt the wetness in her eyes. "We can amend the contract, Jasper. I fully consent to that fate." Scrambling for a pen, she reached forward to pull the paper closer to her, but Jasper's hands were immediately on hers from across the desk.
"Stop," he commanded.
"I'm just trying to give you options. I know it's not a fair trade, but it's a trade nonetheless." She sighed heavily, frustratedly. "Yes—you're right. I don't know the first thing about this bond or how it's supposed to feel, but damn it, I'd rather it be you than him."
His continued silence only aggravated her. She wiggled her hands out from beneath his and swiped away the paper, cleanly offering it to him. She uttered the same words he had once told her, "You'll think about it."
They watched each other quietly, and there was no deciphering Jasper's face. But finally, he took it from her hands.
As he seemed to read it once more, Bella asked, "Why is this allowed? Why does your mate get half of your allotted sentence?"
"Mates aren't meant to be separated," he explained. A sacred bond, recognized by the law. "But the Volturi have written this particular clause you're referring to mainly because it benefits them. They get an extra prisoner to serve them for free. Sure, the lifetime of the sentence is halved to be served in parallel—but at the end of the day, they will value firstly the gifted, and secondly, the added numbers." His eyes slid to her as he lowered the contract back down to the desk. "We will need to talk about the logistics of the mating ritual. The words, the venom. The timing, with respect to your change. And Edward." He leaned on the desk, eyes distant. "You'll put on a show. A better one than the half-assed version you're putting on for Alice."
"What do you mean, a show?"
"You're enamored with Edward Cullen. You love Edward Cullen. All you want is Edward Cullen." His stare swept up to her. "No one can know about this contract. No one can suspect about the existence of this contract. Look at me, Bella. This is important."
Worrying her lip, she focused on him. "You want me to continue pretending."
"I want you to make it believable. That doesn't mean you throw yourself at his feet—that's the opposite of believable; Alice would see right through it. You told her you would accept him to keep your mother safe. So, accept it." He stepped around the desk, sliding the contract with him. When he stood beside her, he brought a hand to her face, turning it to the side. "And work on controlling your expressions. Every blink and flinch is noticed and evaluated."
She shook her head, attempting to shrug off his grip. "I get it."
"Do you?" He leaned in, looking deep into her eyes. "I don't think you do. We're plotting against the Cullens, and more importantly, we're plotting against Alice Cullen."
"Volturi," she corrected absently.
His touch fell away, and his tone hardened. "If this goes wrong, Carlisle will try his damndest to get me out of Cullen territory and back to Italy, and far away from you. A whiff of this agreement, and I am gone, Bella."
Because Carlisle wanted her for his own son, and any threat to that plan was unacceptable.
"We don't even have an agreement until you sign," she pointed out, almost stubbornly.
There was no hesitation. No second-thought. None. As if it was merely a formality—as if it was just an annoying piece of procedure that he couldn't care less about—he grabbed onto the pen that had rolled to the corner of the desk and efficiently signed his name beneath hers. Bella couldn't believe this was happening.
And then, the pen slammed down, and he turned to her, his tone severe. "You will accept Edward's proposal with a smile on your face."
Her lips twitched, his words barely falling over her. "Okay, Alice."
There was a warning in his expression—a foreboding look of caution. But the smile on her face right then, was entirely, and positively real.
The dress hugged her torso and flew out around her thighs. Cream, off-white. Innocent, and pure. The Cullen Crest rested heavily on her chest, and her hair was twisted up and away from it, swept back by a delicate clip that looked inappropriately expensive.
"We'll take pictures," Alice was saying, "so remember to smile, alright, Bella?"
Bella gave her a smile, just to humor her. It was small, with her lips tight, and the emotion vacant from her eyes. She knew needed to practice these expressions of hesitant joy.
Rosalie was back from New York—which seemed unfathomable. Apparently, she had gone to fetch her own dress, one that was delayed in custom production, and wouldn't have made it via delivery by that morning.
The sheer amount of money spent by these people never failed to amaze Bella.
Rosalie wore that blood-red body-con dress that looked like any other that would have been on some store rack. She ran a brush over Bella's cheekbones, noncommittal, as if she were made to do it. Forced to be there.
Once beautiful enough for Alice's standards, Bella slipped on her wedges and followed her down the main stairs, Rosalie close behind.
Jasper was lounging on the sectional, his face entirely unreadable as he watched the three women descend. Bella fought to keep her own face expressionless, but she couldn't help the feeling of relief upon the sight of those red eyes. It seemed to be the one piece of hope she let herself feel.
"Have her by in thirty minutes," Alice ordered, addressing Jasper.
Rosalie added, "The champagne is ready. The catering should be there in ten."
Champagne and catering? Bella tightened her expression to keep from rolling her eyes.
A small smile spread on Alice's lips, and the two women left through the front door. Bella was left at the bottom of the stairs, fidgeting with the railing.
"Smile, Bella," her red-eyed wonder told her.
"Are we alone?" When Jasper nodded, she continued, "All of this is ridiculous. I could have just put on that stupid ring without any of this."
"The Cullens love a show."
She stalked over to him, but probably looked the least amount of menacing in a pure white dress and high wedges with strings that wrapped prettily around her ankles. She sat beside him, feeling suddenly hesitant. They hadn't communicated since their conversation last night in his library. Jasper had gone in for a shower, given that he had just killed three other vampires, and Bella had promptly taken an Uber home. No calls, no texts. It had been a quiet night—one of anticipation for the future, but pure dread for the coming morning.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked him.
It took a moment before he responded.
"I'd rather not watch my future contracted mate get engaged to Edward Cullen," he said slowly, a slight curve upwards at one corner of his lips, as if marveling at the incredulity of the situation. "But life rarely has the delicate awareness of what is fair, and what is not."
"So, you're not backing out?"
"It's hardly been a day, Bella."
"I know." She sighed fervently, gaze erratic throughout the room.
Jasper scooted closer, his eyes latching onto the crest on her chest, and then her updo. "She should have kept your hair down. Exposing your neck is reckless."
"Do you prefer my hair down, Jasper?"
He gave her an amused, yet bitter scoff in response, as if his preferences didn't matter.
But they did, at least to her. "You need to tell me these things if we're going to be stuck together for eternity."
He shook his head, a small smile.
"You know, until you get tired of me and have me assassinated."
He only cut her with a look, the smile fading instantly.
Bella hardly believed they had a contract for this in the first place. When she had woken up that morning from a very restless night of sleep, she had imagined she had dreamt the whole thing: Esme's wild eyes, pointing at the Tome; the electricity in Bella's veins as she wrote the very words down; Jasper's shockingly swift acceptance of such a peculiar fate.
And Esme? Where was Esme?
"Remember to be hesitant, but remember to smile," Jasper was saying. "Remember that we will notice the smallest nuances in your expression. The proposal is not a surprise, but maybe the ring is. Play this game, Bella. Play it like you're fully and completely emotionally attached." He paused, thinking. "And also, remember to say yes."
It was better than I do. "Do you think they'll have a wedding before I turn?"
He shook his head once. "There is not a chance Alice will let Edward near you for any semblance of a wedding night. The wedding, I presume, will happen once you're dead."
"But… that won't happen. Not if I'm mated soon after I'm dead." When would they even go through with the ritual? The logistics, indeed, would be important.
"I can't imagine Carlisle forcing any sort of tie to Edward when a mating bond with another vampire is in place. Any claim Carlisle has on you would be put into question."
"But hasn't he already declared me as a Cullen to your kings? How does that impact you, if we're bonded?"
"Once we say the words, and complete our ritual, by law, you will be under my contract as the sentenced party. You will serve Carlisle and his family, just as I do. But your coven loyalty will lie empty. No ties, no last name. A mating bond always supersedes all." He considered for a moment. "Now, that all would be different if you're mated to Edward. Edward is a Cullen and not bound by any legal contract for servitude. Even if Carlisle hadn't declared you as part of his coven, you would default to a Cullen because of your mate's coven loyalty."
Her head spun just a little. "Sounds complicated."
"All you need to know, if you're mated to me," he said, "is that you will remain Isabella Marie Swan until, if ever, we decide to join an established coven."
No more Isabella Marie Cullen. "But Carlisle would try to fight all of this, wouldn't he?"
"What would he fight? The mating bond? He'd have to face the kings and go against our Matehood laws."
Which was illegal, and why Alice was in the Cullen nightmare in the first place. Allegedly.
Jasper grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Play the part, Bella. Be the unassuming, reluctant bride. And we'll see to the rest."
She smiled at him through a sudden whirlwind of emotion that fluttered in her chest.
This man beside her just might be her way out of this mess.
Jasper drove her to the outskirts of Forks, closer, and closer to Esme's cabin. Running was prohibited, according to Alice, because it would surely mess up her hair and get her innocent little white dress dirty.
As Jasper slowed the car, Bella could make out the cabin just a few yards out from between the trees
"Edward will meet you here," he told her.
Nervously, she asked, "But I won't be alone?"
"Never."
She nodded, but before opening the door to get out, she paused. The question had been at the back of her mind since early this morning. "Where's Esme?"
"Gone."
"What do you mean, gone?"
"Alaska," he said simply, with a look in his eyes telling her to ask questions later. But Bella didn't think she needed to ask him anything. She had quite a good feeling about why Esme had decided to disappear.
She got out of the car, and immediately resented her shoes. The dirt below wasn't easy to maneuver with her wedges as she progressed through the trees.
But just a minute later, she heard his voice to her right. "Isabella Swan."
Edward Cullen was smiling brightly at her. She would almost describe it as lovingly if she hadn't known anything about him. He approached her from a direction that indicated he had been deep in the forest, and he donned loose slacks and a deep blue button up. Formal attire for a formal event.
"So lovely, as always," he murmured, offering his hand.
Bella stared at him for a moment before placing her hand in his grip. He took that hand and instead rested it on his forearm, offering her support as she balanced on her shoes. His gentlemanly act never failed. Cool, crisp, and charismatic Edward Cullen the Vampire, who killed and most likely fucked humans with the sole purpose of feeling more human. It didn't make any sense to Bella, either.
As they walked towards the cabin, Edward was the one to fill the silence.
"We've had a rough time." He patted the hand on his forearm. "But I believe—Alice believes—that we will be just okay, Bella."
"Alice?" She questioned.
"She wants the best for us. And I know that I haven't been my best; believe me, I know. My thirst, my control, my instincts—it's all been unacceptable. But I love you, Bella. And we won't have these issues when you're—" He cut himself off, an odd swallow gracing his throat. "—when you're hardened, and dead."
No, he didn't like this ending at all, either. Bella was half afraid to question him about it, because this was what she needed him to do. They both had to go along with this game of pretend.
But she also couldn't be too suspiciously bipolar. "You love my humanity. Are you sure you want me dead?"
"It's the only way we can be together. We can hardly see each other as it is."
Bella nodded, biting her lip. "It's been... difficult. With my shield."
"Don't paint your powers in such a negative light," he said gently. "You're incredible. I know how important it is for you to be strong."
No, it was important for Carlisle to handpick a strong addition for his coven. Her personal strength didn't matter. "Thank you."
The cabin grew closer, and when they cleared the trees, the front porch appeared to be carpeted with red petals. Little candles bordered the path up to the front. The gentle breeze was cool, and calm against the coat she had on.
When they finally reached the front door, they turned to stare back out at the view. The garden was beautiful. The soft hue of candlelight softened the color of those red rose petals on the ground. Fairy lights were wrapped around the scattered trees, and their glow grew more prominent as the evening settled.
Bella focused on all of this decor until she couldn't. Until she felt Edward shift beside her, and get down on one knee.
"We have an opportunity to do this correctly," he was saying, his voice soft, and gentle. "We have a chance to be happy together. And the only way forward is one step at a time." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wooden box. Even though it had been entirely expected, Bella suddenly felt out of body. Hadn't she vaguely imagined this moment when reading trashy novels, watching cheesy rom-coms?
As the box's lid lifted, her breath caught at the size of the diamond on that silly ring. That reaction hadn't been faked at all—and it seemed to please Edward, his smile widening at her expression.
"Isabella Marie Swan, I know it's sudden. But will you take the next step with me? Will you make me the happiest man on this planet, perhaps in this universe, and give me the honor of being your husband?"
She knew she nodded. Maybe she did indeed forget to say yes. But she thrust her hand out to him, eyes wide, and he seemed to be content with that; the unrelenting smile on his face was evidence enough.
And she didn't say a word as he slipped the diamond ring—big, daunting, and heavy—onto her finger.
It fit fucking perfectly.
When he got back up to his two feet, he kissed her. It was slightly more than a simple peck, but less than anything too sensual. A classic Edward Cullen kiss.
The next hour was colorful, loud, and bright. The front door opened to a celebration with food, wine—sparkling, and otherwise—and music. Confetti was popped, congratulations were thrown around. Rosalie and Emmett danced, as Edward piled catered food on a plate for Bella. Alice and Carlisle stood to the side, chatting, and seemingly incredibly pleased with how the cabin turned out.
When Bella looked again at the couch that sat at the center of it all, all that flashed in her brain was Jasper sinking those teeth into her wrist just a few days ago. And Jasper wasn't there. Had he been tasked to keep guard outside? Or had it been entirely his personal preference to skip the celebration?
But before she could feel too upset about it, the front door opened, and there he was. There wasn't any indication of his acknowledgement of her. Instead, he went straight to Carlisle, and bent into his ear. There was nodding, and Carlisle clasped a hand on his shoulder with a smile. Only after that exchange did Jasper seem to let his gaze slide to Bella. Jasper said one more thing to Carlisle before heading in her direction.
When he reached her, he beheld her fully, his eyes returning every so often to that—what, eight carat?—solitaire ring on her finger. The stone occasionally slid around, bumping against her other fingers. The integrity of it all was meant to be held by one thin, diamond encrusted band. It was impractical at best.
"Congratulations," he told her diplomatically, bowing his head.
"Thank you." She raised her champagne flute in acknowledgement. "I would say enjoy the food, but..."
Bella noticed immediately how his eyes bounced over to the couch, and she quickly turned away. Her cheeks heated, and she hastily brushed past him to find Edward.
When her husband-to-be offered to dance with her, she accepted, hoping he admired the flush in her cheeks and assumed it was entirely for him. As they swayed slowly to the soft music in the background, Bella asked him, "Where is Esme?"
"She went on a trip, I'm told. Up north."
Bella nodded along. "It would have been nice to have her here. She would have loved to see all of this."
"She needs time away like this occasionally." He smiled at her. "A family of vampires can become overwhelming." He placed a little kiss on her hair. "We'll take time away too. We'll have to."
"Really?"
"The family will drive you crazy if you don't distance yourself. Esme needed a little break, that's all."
But there was no doubt in Bella's mind that Esme had left so urgently for Bella's own sake. She had left to protect whatever she knew, or suspected was between her and Jasper. She had relocated hastily to stay out of Edward's prying gift—to hide whatever she had dared to suggest to Bella the other night when she pushed the Tome into her arms.
One.
One bond.
"She's a kind woman," Bella murmured.
Edward grabbed her hand, the stone flailing about as he pulled her knuckles up to his lips. After planting a kiss, he grinned at the stone. "Once you have a wedding band, it should hold it in place better."
Bella didn't look at him. Instead, she directed her smile at the ring, and she let the gratitude she felt for Esme fuel it.
The gratitude for a Cullen who had maybe... just maybe looked at this situation and thought: Enough.
A/N: This chapter: Two vastly different proposals, and Esme's curious disappearance.
As always, huge love to triinityz and TheMrsH for pre-reading.
Also, I hope you all know that the title of this story was inspired by the Burn The Ballroom song, Kiss Me You Animal.
A little taste for what's coming up:
"Edward treats you like a flower, Bella. He picked you from the garden, and stuck you in a vase. Your smell delights him, but he knows you're dying. He'll cling onto every bit of your humanity before he loses it completely."
See you next week.
Blu